Beautiful Disaster
by My Writing Is This
Summary: The dead were walking and surviving was imperative. Caroline had hit the ground running. She tried to never look back. She was alone for too long. Learning to live and love again wasn't easy. People still mattered. Many would come in and out of her life and not all was as it seemed. She had to learn to be a person again and to find her place. And the one she was meant to be with.
1. The Beginning

**Hello everyone!**

 **First off - Disclaimer: I own nothing from The Walking Dead. I only own Caroline and my other Original Characters. This is true for this chapter and every chapter that follows.**

 **Authors Note: A new story that I've been EXTREMELY EXCITED for! This has been in the works for a couple years now and is finally ready to be posted. I hope you all enjoy and I LOVE REVIEWS but don't count on them for how often I update.**

 **Update day is usually always on Tuesdays. Unless something happens. I'm hoping to keep that habit going. My apologies in advance if I miss one.**

 **I know there are a lot of Walking Dead stories out there and I very much hope you give mine a chance. As with every story, there must be a beginning and the characters we know and love will not make an immediate appearance. You get to hang out with Caroline and see her world before anyone familiar comes around. This story leads into Season Three and beyond.**

 **Special note: THIS STORY IS RATED M FOR A REASON! DO NOT continue if you do not like strong language or adult themes. There will be plenty throughout this story. Anything and everything is possible! This will be your only warning; unless I see fit to bring it up again. But that would be a spoiler and spoilers are no fun. So if you haven't watched TWD than you may not want to continue either. ; )**

 **As always, the most important thing is that you enjoy reading. Fingers crossed that you all like it! Anyway, enough of all that.**

 **ENJOY!**

* * *

 **Chapter One: The Beginning**

 _I see trees of green  
Red roses too  
I see them bloom  
For me and you_

 _And I think to myself  
What a wonderful world_

The sun shone through the trees. The rays making the leaves transparent, bouncing off of them and making streaks of light touch the earth. For a moment, if you just stood there to appreciate it, the world was beautiful. For a moment everything was calm and wonderful.

What a load of bullshit.

The moment would pass and the reality of this world would settle on you once again. The depression that you just couldn't shake. The loneliness in knowing that the number of dead greatly outnumber that of the living.

The world was dying.

The apocalypse had finally come.

It was almost laughable. An ongoing joke with everyone that had somehow come true. With the amount of idiots there were in the world, it was inevitable. Hell, I was rooting for it. At the same time no one actually believed that it would happen. Not like this. I never wanted this. I could never have imagined this.

The damn apocalypse.

We brought it on ourselves. We ruined our world and when she couldn't take it anymore she turned the tables and started to wipe us out. It wasn't a slow decline. She hit us and she hit us hard. Mother Nature was a fucking bitch. Even if it was what we deserved. If you turned on the news it was always full of angst. The negative always overpowering the positive. We were slowly killing ourselves but it wasn't quick enough. So the process was sped up.

Now we were faced with death every single day. Those of us who survived couldn't even be considered lucky. Every day was full of fear that was nearly debilitating. Food and water were hard to come by and there was no safe place. If you thought you were safe then you might as well shoot yourself in the head because there was no such thing. The second – and I mean the second – you let your guard down you were as good as dead.

So we – the survivors – roamed the earth, just trying to keep breathing. If we kept moving then we could make it. Right? Wrong. Even on the run, the dead were everywhere, walking or lying in wait, patiently waiting for anything to pass them by. They no longer required breath or water or sleep or even food. Yet they craved living flesh. And humans were the most ample source of food on the planet. The animals already had survival engrained in their genes. Us? Not so much. We'd been living in luxury too long. Most of us didn't know even the basics of surviving. What we did know was that we needed food, and water, and we would do just about anything to get it.

Rolling my shoulder, I winced, sighing as I took in the red that was soaking through the bandage. Just one of the many things to look forward to in this new world. I had food. They didn't. A bullet through the shoulder was my prize this time. I would have been happy with killing them all for attacking me, but I wasn't that lucky. My companion was, making him cocky and full of himself. Looking down at him, he licked his lips and lolled his tongue to the other side of his mouth.

"Yeah, laugh it up, chuckles. I'll get the next one." I frowned at him.

He snorted at me before loping off in front of me. Every time he put distance between us I knew that there was nothing to fear. Not in this moment anyway. But it was amazing how fast that could change. He was the one good thing in this new world. He's been with me since the beginning and I probably wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. He fed us and protected us. He saved us.

Melancholy was an everyday feeling, thinking about what was and what could have been. Knowing that it was all over. Everyone we knew was dead. The only future was living from one minute to the next. There was too much time to think of everything that was lost and would never be again.

Finding a stream, we both lapped up the coolness of it, splashing it against my face and neck before doing the same to him. Trying to wash the past away. Living in it caused nothing by pain. Splashing my face again, I soaked the thick hair around his neck. He laid down for just a few minutes, attempting to pant and drink all at the same time. Sitting on my heels, I momentarily shut my eyes. Only then my heart started to race as I heard him sit up, his big ears turning in every direction as he swiveled his head back and forth.

"You got anything?" I asked as I did the same.

He licked my chin before his slid into the water, laying down to cool off. Smiling, I refilled all our water bottles, making sure they were closed tight and tucked away in the haversack I wore constantly. When it wasn't across my shoulders than it was acting as my pillow. I never let it out of my sight. Everything I had – everything I _was_ – was in that bag. And so was his.

Hearing a stick crack behind me, I stood quickly, looking over my shoulder, whispering, "Moz." He climbed onto the bank, listening in the direction it had come from. "Mozzie." I said and tightened my grip on my knife.

The hunting knife was sharp enough to go through bone. Even then, I was never prepared when they showed themselves. I learned a long time ago that it was better to use a knife than a gun, sound bringing them in from miles around. When that happened, you didn't want to be anywhere near the central point. Slipping my hand into my bag, I felt the two handguns I carried. Both 9mm, taken off of fallen officers, the two extra clips, and the partial box of bullets. It was a decent amount and yet you could never have enough. If only I could find a silencer for them. If one even existed. Before this, I knew how to use a hunting rifle and that was it. That and your old fashioned bow and arrow. Something I had yet to come across. There'd been the occasional crossbow, but I wasn't interested in that. It was the poor man's weapon. Lazy. Not to mention too complicated in this world. It took longer to reload and that time was precious. If you took too long, then you were dead, and I was definitely looking to live.

Mozzie was tense and he looked up at me before starting to trot downstream. Taking the cue, I swiftly followed him. As soon as I caught up, he fell in step at my side, his head moving back and forth as he listened, watching his nose twitch as he breathed in all the scents around us. For a moment I allowed myself to relax, the woods remaining silent, only then we passed a cluster of trees and a walker appeared as if from nowhere.

It shuffled forward, only a few feet from me, a man with a missing arm, caved in skull, and little to no meat on his body. Despite the way his skull was dipped in, his brain must have been intact. Mozzie snarled, gripping the leg of its pants, taking its feet out from under it. Lunging forward, my knife slipped into its temple like butter. Smiling, I took a step back, only to feel a hand against my arm, a raspy groan following. Mozzie snarled, letting out a bark as he attacked it, taking it to the ground, the pair of them rolling into the stream. Rushing to help him. I dragged the Walker from the water before stabbed it underneath its jaw, the moans finally falling silent.

Breathing hard, I backed away from it before falling to my knees. Looking at Mozzie, his black and tan coat was now caked with mud. Smiling, I gently gripped his muzzle, rubbing his big ears. His thick tail thumped against the ground as he gently licked my arm and my chin. Pressing a kiss between his eyes before I sighed and got to my feet.

"Let's get out of here." I told him, looking around before I started to run.

Running was never the smartest move, but if there were two, there were usually more. I only made it maybe a mile or so before I stopped. I'd managed to build myself up as the weeks went by but I wasn't going to win any marathons anytime soon. Not to mention I never ate enough to give me enough energy to run for long distances.

When the sun started to set, I started to make camp, tying a perimeter line, attaching the few cans and other things that would make noise and warn me. When it was ready, I sat with my back against a tree, listening to the woods. Pulling out what was left of the possum I had snared, I gave a decent amount to Mozzie before feeding myself. He was more valuable than I was. He was a warning sign, a protector, a heater, and a companion all in one. He was far better than any people I'd met so far. And it beat being alone. I'd done plenty of that as well.

Pulling the one book from my bag, I couldn't help but take in the irony. I think that's the only reason I kept it around. Tracing the giant Z on the front of it, I opened it, starting to read where I'd left off.

 _First of all, there was no way to save everyone. The outbreak was too far gone. The armed forced had already been too badly weakened to effectively isolate the threat, and, spread so thinly throughout the country, they could only grow weaker with each passing day. Our forces had to be consolidated, withdrawn to a special "safe zone," which, hopefully, would be aided by some natural obstacle such as mountains, ricers, or even an offshore island. Once concentrated within this zone, the armed forces could eradicate the infestation within its borders, then use what resources were available to defend it against further onslaughts of the living dead. That was the first part of the plan and it made as much sense as any conventional retreat._

It was like a goddamn foreshadowing into what we could expect from this world. A work of fiction that held more truth in the world now than anything else. Sure, our walking dead was different than theirs, but the end game was still the same.

Extermination of the human race.

I only made it a few chapters before I couldn't go on anymore. Some days it was comforting and some days it was depressing. Today was a depressing one. Lying down, my head resting against Mozzie's side, I stared at the constellations in the sky. Remembering the few short weeks where I did this with someone else. But it had ended. Good things never lasted. This world taught you that quickly. Holding my breath, the woods were quiet, and Moz was already sleeping soundly. Letting it out slowly, I sighed, shutting my eyes as I willed for sleep to take me.

Come morning, I woke up curled around Mozzie. He was awake and alert, lying there just to keep me warm and comfortable. Sighing, I wrapped my arm around him, momentarily burying my face in his neck before I removed myself from his side. He sprung to his feet, ready to go as I packed up our little camp. It was second nature now. I could build it and break it down in a matter of minutes. A well-used skill these days. Moving kept us alive, something I planned on doing for as long as possible.

Walking through the never ending expanse of trees, it was a quiet day. Nothing exciting happening. My favorite kind of day. If nothing was happening then it meant we were as safe as we could get. The only thing that could made it better would be a full stomach. Having set up a few snares last night before bed, I checked them, finding them all empty. My stomach growled in protest as Mozzie started to chew on a mossy stick. As appetizing as that sounded, I opted for a long drink of water to help quench some of my hunger pains.

"Maybe we'll get lucky. It's been a couple weeks since we've come across any cabins or towns or barns or anything. Maybe we'll get lucky and sleep in a bed tonight." I told my dog, looking down at him.

He didn't seem at all phased. Not that that was unusual. When it felt okay to talk, I rambled to him all day long. If he could speak than he would be able to tell anyone everything there was to know about me. He knew where I came from, what I'd done before all this started, what I hoped for myself now that it had. He knew my dreams and what I'd lost. He knew everything. And everything I was would probably die with him. I'd be gone and he'd roam alone until he starved to death or was finally eaten himself. Either way, I was pretty sure life wasn't going to get much better than this.

Just living one day at a time. Not knowing what day it was, or what month, never wasting time on planning for an uncertain future. It didn't take long for me to lose track of the days when the world went to shit. Who needed to keep time when there was nothing left but to survive? I was never going to be late for anything again. I was never going to have any appointments or have to go to work or to visit anyone. I was never going to have to worry about anything other than to keep myself alive. Me and Mozzie.

It definitely simplified life. Since that was all there was. Life and Death. Only death didn't mean the same thing anymore. Get bit or scratched and you end up one of them. It was the reality. And we had to live in reality because any fantasy we made up would only lead to our deaths. Or possible death.

"Maybe we'll hit the jackpot and find enough food to last us a month, maybe more." I went on. "Maybe we'll actually find a decent human being." I added, feeling emotion clench in my chest, my throat tightening as I stopped walking. Moz did the same, turning toward me, looking up at me with curious eyes and perked ears. "Maybe we won't be alone forever."

For a moment I composed myself, only then I dropped to my knees, starting to cry. Every once in a while there was a moment or a string of moments, where the world sucked and I was sad and all I wanted was to feel just an ounce of relief. Mozzie sat in front of me, lifting his paw and put it on my shoulder. He may only be a dog but he was smart and he knew exactly what I needed when I needed it, even if I didn't. So I wasn't alone. I was never alone. But I wanted there to be more than what my life had become. There had to be more out there. It couldn't be just me and there couldn't be just this. There had to be more.

"Why?" I cried to him, making his ears go back. "Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't I save –" Cutting myself off, I took a deep shuddering breath. "It shouldn't have turned out this way. It was supposed to be different. Better." He whined and gave one lap of his tongue against my chin. I nodded at him, "Yeah."

Pulling myself together, taking several deep breaths, I finally got to my feet and we started out again. By late afternoon, hunger was starting to motivate me, searching the trees and foliage for anything that could stop the constant turning and clenching of my stomach. A few acorns stifled it for a little while, keeping me moving forward and not circling as I searched for something that just wasn't there. Going as far to grab leaves from the trees to just put something in my stomach.

"Maybe today's the day." I told him, my rambling having gone on for a while now. Sighing, I bowed my head, "I say maybe so much it's not even a word anymore. Maybe I should just change your name to Maybe. See? There I go again. The word maybe will forever be the first word out of my mouth." Sighing again, I looked up at the sky. "Maybe I don't care. What's the point?"

"Maybe it's to keep your sanity." A voice said from somewhere to my left.

Freezing, Mozzie leapt in front of me, his hackles up and his teeth bared, both of us looking in the direction that the voice had come from. It was female, I knew that, but where was she and what the hell was she doing?

Pulling a gun from my bag, I brought it up in front of me, "Show yourself."

"Hey, hey, no need for that." She said as she stepped from behind a tree.

She was tall with long black hair, braided multiple times, and tied to the side, the tail of it falling over her shoulder. Her skin was heavily tanned, her clothes dirty and ripped. Blood was smeared across her skin and the front of her shirt. Her boots were old and worn, the start of a hole starting in the toe.

"I'm not here to hurt you." She told me.

"I don't believe you." I stated. Mozzie snarled and lurched forward only to have the woman step back. "He doesn't either."

"Pretty dog." The woman smiled.

"He's also quite deadly when it comes to those who attempt to hurt us." I stated.

"Were you a cop?"

I frowned at her, "What?"

"You have a German Shepherd. You're holding a 9mm. Two things that is common on any police force." She replied.

"Sure." I shot at her.

"Listen," she said kindly, "I simply heard you talking and thought I'd stop by."

Gripping the gun tighter, I took a step forward, "People don't just stop by anymore. People stop by to steal or to kill. I'm not going to let either of those things happen so you might as well just leave."

"Weren't you saying that you didn't want to be alone?" She smirked at me.

"Yeah, I'm rethinking that." I told her.

She shook her head at me, "I'm not even armed."

"I don't know that." I replied. "And I'm not taking any chances."

She looked at me from top to bottom, "Looks like you've already taken a few."

"No." I shot at her. "I've defended myself from idiots who thought they could take me down. I may be a woman but I am not weak and I will defend my life." Her eyes lowered, dipping her chin, before she looked up at me through her eyelashes. My stomach dropped and I was suddenly terrified. "You knew them."

"My boyfriend and my brother." She stated. "I've been tracking you for two days now. You're a lot harder to find than I had thought you'd be."

"Moz." I said softly.

He lunged and as he lunged, she shifted, and as she shifted, I aimed, and then fired. She slumped to the ground, dead before she knew what was happening. Sighing, I put the gun back in my bag, looking at Mozzie before we started to run. The shot would bring in walkers from every direction and I needed to move on before they showed up. A warm body would keep them busy for a while.

"Maybe I'm wrong about everything." I told my dog as we finally slowed, unable to run anymore. "I don't need anyone but you. Not anymore."

Moving forward, the trees opened up into a small expanse of land. There was a cabin sitting in the distance, a fence lining the property. Both of us stopped and took in the sight before us. There was a man in the field, tilling the ground. Looking down at my dog, I nodded and slowly stepped backward, hoping he wouldn't notice us. Only we weren't that lucky. Also, it wasn't him. I froze as a small girl appeared between the rows of fence. Her blond hair fell nearly to her elbows, pinned up to one side. Her blue eyes were large and sparkling, matching the sundress she wore. White flowers printed on it. Her full pink lips were turned up into a smile. She couldn't have been more than four or five. She was holding a yellow duck stuffed animal that looked very much loved.

"Hello." She said with a soft voice.

"Hello." I replied.

"Do you wanna play?"

This was not what I thought today would be like.


	2. Decency

**Chapter Two: Decency**

Unable to not be entranced by this little girl, I couldn't help was stare at her. I honestly never thought I'd ever see another child in my life. They were small and slow and too inexperienced to live in this world. They needed to be protected but…things always happened. That was the reality of this world. One of many.

She was staring back at me, still smiling when we were interrupted by a shout and her father was rushing toward us with such speed, I did the only thing I could think of. I dropped to my knees and held up my hands. The little girl seemed un-phased despite the fact that Mozzie had turned defensive, only it wasn't just toward me but the little girl as well, putting himself between the two of us and the girl's father.

Getting to my feet, I launched myself over the fence, bending as I moved in front of my dog. The man held a shovel in his hands, holding it up, ready to swing it. "Wait!" I yelled. "Please. We're not here to hurt you."

"Give me my daughter!" He yelled.

"We didn't touch her and we don't intend to." I told him. "Mozzie." I said to my dog, gripping the scruff of his neck. "Let's go."

The little girl walked past us as if nothing had happened. "We were gonna play." She told her father.

"Hannah." He said and slowly moved her behind him.

"She has a pretty dog." Hannah said as she peeked out from behind her father.

"Moz." I said and stepped backward, still holding tight to him.

Hannah rushed around her father and swiftly wrapped her arms around Mozzie's neck, making me let him go. "Thanks for visiting."

Mozzie stopped growling, wagging his tail and lapped at the girls chin. She giggled and hugged him again. Looking up at her father, he was still standing defensively, both of us reaching out for our kids. Without saying a word, or asking for anything, I finally coaxed Mozzie backward, both of us crawling under the fence before straightening. Nodding at the man, I smiled at Hannah before swiftly moving into the trees.

"That was not cool." I shot at my dog. He just snorted at me. "Not cool."

"Wait." A voice said from behind me.

Turning, it was Hannah's father. Holding out my knife, he still held the shovel in his hands. He was tall, towering over me, and was well built, and far more attractive than I wanted to admit. Only I decided that that was because it had been so long since I'd been around a decent human being. Let alone a child. His thick brown hair was short, sticking out over his forehead, with a goatee around his mouth. Lines of dirt and sweat ran down his temples and neck. His white shirt was tinted brown at the neck and under his arms. His blue jeans ripped and smeared with dirt.

"What?" I finally asked him.

"I'm sorry I overacted." He told me.

Scoffing, I shook my head at him, "There's no such thing anymore. You were going to protect your daughter. Don't ever apologize for that." For a long moment he just looked at me. "What do you want?"

"How long have you been out here?" He countered.

"When did this all start?" I retorted with a frown.

It was his turn to frown, "You've been out here the whole time?"

Shrugging my shoulder, I shook my head, looking up into the trees, "Basically. I was with someone but…" I met his eyes, the same blue as his daughters. "It didn't have a happy ending."

He nodded, "Are you hungry?" I was going to say no but my stomach growled before I could say the word. Sighing, I nodded at him. He smiled and motioned back to his home. "Come on. I'll get you something to eat."

"You shouldn't trust me." I frowned at him.

"Why not?" He asked but didn't seem concerned.

"You don't know me. I could be manipulating you to take what you have. I could be a bad person." I replied honestly.

"Are you?"

"Maybe you're just luring me back to your home so you can kill me." I added, my paranoia spilling out of me.

He laughed, "Yeah, I could be. I usually chase people away and instead of letting them go, I bring them back to my home."

"You'd be smart not to let anyone know where you live." I stated.

He frowned and crossed his arms, "You're trying very hard to not accept anything from me."

"I'm just…leery of people I don't know."

He nodded again, "So am I."

"Then why follow me?"

"Because you didn't raise a hand against me or my daughter. You could have. We wouldn't have been much of a match for you and your dog."

"I'm not here to kill."

"Have you killed?"

"Yes." I replied without hesitation.

"Why?" He asked.

Taking a slow deep breath, I furrowed my brows at him, "Because I want to live."

He nodded again, "Come on. Let's get you something to eat."

Still unsure, Mozzie started to pant and swiftly moved off toward the small farm. Sighing, I nodded and followed the man back the way we'd come, keeping a few feet in between us at all times. Just in case he decided to try something. Though I didn't think he would. But I'd been wrong before.

"Daddy!" Hannah exclaimed when we came into sight.

Mozzie was already sitting at her side, keeping an eye out for any danger. "Good boy." I told him, gripping an ear after we'd once again moved over the fence. "What's your name?" I finally asked him.

He turned his head, his shoulders just lightly shifting, a half smile crossing his face as he met my eyes. The sun was shining against him, the rays ricocheting off of him, making the beams appear to come off of him. I knew that I'd never forget that moment.

"Ben." He told me. "My name's Ben."

"Ben." I repeated as I stared at him.

He stopped and turned to me, "And you?"

Smiling, it took me a long moment to reply, "Uh, Caroline."

His smile broadened and he nodded, "Caroline."

"Yeah." I nodded back. "Ben."

Following him across the field, I took in the work he had been doing. There was fruit and vegetables, some growing and others had barely come up. As we got closer to the cabin, I could hear chickens, curious as to what else he had on the other side.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" Hannah asked as she slipped her hand into mine.

For a moment my throat felt tight as I smiled and nodded at her, "Yeah, I think I am."

"Yay!" She exclaimed and rushed off, attempting to take the stairs two at a time only to slip and fall.

"Careful." I told her, picking her up and setting her on the top of the steps.

Ben was already inside, Hannah rushing after him. Stopping at the top, Mozzie sat next to me, leaning against my leg. Nodding, I put my hand against the side of his head, pulling him against me. It had easily been weeks, maybe even a month or so, since I'd set foot into a home. Not one like this. Not one that I had no intention of raiding. Everything I'd come across was already raided or broken or already taken. I hadn't felt warmth from a home for…I don't know how long.

"Caroline?" Ben said as he stepped in the doorframe.

"I'm sorry." I said airily. "It's just…"

"When was the last time anyone welcomed you in?" He asked.

I shook my head, "I don't know."

He frowned and slowly stepped toward me. "Where you ever with a group?"

I shook my head, "No. Not really."

"Um, if you want, I can make you a plate and bring it out here."

"That would be great." I replied quickly.

He smiled and went inside. Looking at the small table that was there with two chairs, I sat down, not realizing until then that I was shaking. At the same time a tear slid down my cheek and I swiftly wiped it away.

"It's not quite ready yet, but if you –" Ben started but stopped.

"You know." I said standing, wiping my palms against my thighs. "I'm just gonna keep moving." I added as I moved down the steps.

"Caroline." He frowned, following me.

"It was very kind of you to invite me." I smiled at him over my shoulder.

"Wait."

I shook my head, "Don't follow me, Ben. You don't know me. I don't know you. You have a lovely home and if you were smart you'd reinforce it so it can't be taken."

"Caroline, just wait a minute." He said gripping my arm. "What's going on?"

"You don't know me." I told him again. "You don't want to know me. I'm not a good person."

"Liar." He told me with a smirk.

Laughing lightly, wiping another tear, I stepped backward. "It'll be safer for all of us if I just keep moving. I'll – I'll catch something along the way."

"Stop." He said stepping toward me again.

"No." I said holding out my hand.

All the while Mozzie had been standing between us, his head moving back and forth to look at us in turn.

"Thank you, though."

"Caroline."

"Don't trust people, Ben." I told him coldly. "Don't trust anyone."

Turning, I ran, slipping into the trees without ever looking back. Running until I was far enough away, I slouched at the base of a tree. I wanted to meet someone who was kind and not broken from the way the world had become. I didn't want to be alone anymore. But I couldn't do it. Seeing that home, that little girl, and the life they had built despite the world ending, all of it was too much to take. I thought I had wanted it but I couldn't be like that anymore. I wasn't that kind of person anymore.

The tears didn't stop until I heard the groaning and shuffling behind me. Mozzie started to growl and he let out two barks, hearing the change in the walkers pace, moving toward my dog. As soon as it was in sight, I could see that the woman's scalp was torn from the back of her head. Her clothes were rags and she was missing an arm. As soon as she passed me by, following my dog, I stepped up behind her and thrust my knife into her skull, yanking it out as she fell forward to the ground.

It was probably a bad sign when they stopped scaring you. I'd seen so many. Killed so many. Never in a large group, making it too easy to get over what had to be done. It was easy now. There was a sense of rhythm to it. A process memorized through trial and error. One that worked and was familiar. I didn't realize that I needed that. I needed my life to be what my life had become. Change was just too much. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let myself feel again knowing that it could all disappear at any moment. I couldn't.

"It's just me and you, pal." I told Mozzie. Looking down, he was ever at my side, but there was something about him that told me he had wanted it. He had wanted it as much as I did. "I know, Moz. But we're better on our own."

Finding I had lost my appetite, we walked the remainder of the day, finding a place to crash for the night near the stream. Lying under the stars, I wanted to sleep but I just couldn't manage it. It didn't help that our alarm system went off, two walkers stumbling in. Mozzie barked to draw attention as always, only it managed to draw only one away. The other stumbled toward me, its arms outstretched, gripping my arms as it reached me. Putting my hand against its chest, I felt my hand starting to sink into it. Swiftly thrusting my knife through its forehead, I let it fall before going for the second. Tripping over the first, Mozzie's barking got louder.

"Stop it." I told him. "Mozzie, stop."

He didn't, making me frantically rush forward, stabbing the brain, landing on top of it as it fell forward. I felt something explode against my stomach, looking up at my dog that was hunkered down on the ground. Sighing, I was about to lay into him when I heard more rustling. Looking behind me, five more were starting to stumble into view, and I had no idea how many more were behind them.

"Damn it, Moz." I said and grabbed my bag.

Running, I felt a hand on my shoulder, spinning away from it before slamming into the chest of another. Stabbing it under the chin, I pushed it away from me and kept moving. The next thing I knew my ankle was grabbed and I fell to my stomach, scrambling away from them. I didn't even know where Mozzie was. He decided now to stay quiet. Keeping moving, my hair was grabbed and I was pulled onto my back. Rolling onto my side, I pulled on my hair as the walker used it to propel itself forward, reaching for my face. Then I felt something against my shoe.

This was it.

This was the moment I died.

Only then Mozzie appeared and barreled over the walker at my feet. Quickly stabbing the one attached to my hair, I pulled it free and quickly crawled toward the one Mozzie was jumping around. Stabbing it as well, I got to my feet and started to run again. Now Mozzie was in front of me, seeming calmer and yet still anxious.

The sound of them had quieted down, giving me the smallest sense of relief, but I didn't dare slow my pace. The sun had been up for at least a couple hours before I finally slowed, stumbling forward onto my knees. The day had gone from bad too good to worse. Definitely not what I was expecting. Mozzie had dropped to his belly, crawling toward me, his tongue lapping at my hands that were in my lap, still gripping the bloody knife. My hands were tainted as well, my shirt torn and drenched with walker blood and guts. My pants dirty and bloody.

"I'm not mad at you." I told him. He whined and kept licking my hands. "Stop it." I frowned. He immediately obeyed, partially crawling into my lap. Looking at my ponytail, I realized that I'd let it get too long. Sighing, I pushed it over my shoulder, stroking my dog. "It's okay, Moz." I told him as I dropped the knife, holding him tightly against me. "We're okay."

"Jesus." A voice said from behind me.

Darting to our feet, we spun, only to see Ben sitting atop a horse. "What are you doing here?"

"I know you said not to follow but…" He replied and shrugged.

"Not cool." I frowned at him.

"What the hell happened?" He asked as he dismounted.

Shrugging, I felt self-conscious, "Walkers happened."

He nodded, still looking at me up and down. "I can see that. You left enough carnage behind you that I thought the worst."

"I can take care of myself." I told him and turned away, starting to walk before tripping over a log.

Sighing, I laid there on my back, Mozzie whining over me, as I looked at the sky. Then I heard steps and Ben was standing over me as well. He looked down at me with a smile. Frowning back at him, I attempted not to meet his eyes.

"You're exhausted and hurt. Let me help you." He told me.

"You shouldn't want to help anyone." I retorted harshly. "That's how you get yourself killed."

"You don't think I know that?" He said firmly. "I've had to kill people, Caroline. I know how. I simply don't believe that every human that's left is evil."

"And you think I'm the non-evil kind?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah."

Laughing, I shook my head. "I am not a good person. I kill first and ask questions later. I have little remorse and am more concerned about me and my dog than anything else."

"I think you have remorse."

Propping myself on my elbows, I glared at him, "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't know me?"

"And you're awfully quick to keep me from learning anything."

Sighing, I got to my feet and stared up at him, "You don't want to know me."

"Let me be the judge of that." He smiled.

"Stop smiling." I shot at him. "There is nothing to smile about. Look around, Ben. Look around at what the world has become. What the hell are you smiling about?"

He just looked at me fondly, "Not all the good people are dead."


	3. The Good People

**Chapter Three: The Good People**

Sitting in the corner of the porch, the sun was only partially up, leaving me to enjoy as the colors shifted as it continued it ascension. Smiling, I pulled the sleeping bag up as Mozzie finally shifted. He yawned and sat next to me, his focus moving to the sun as well. Grinning, I wrapped my arm around him, loving the mornings with him. Only then the door opened and Ben stepped out, the hair on the back of his head all askew. He sighed and handed me a cup of coffee.

"Thank you." I smiled as I took it. Gripping it between my knees, I gathered my hair up, putting it into a messy bun at the back of my head. Sipping the coffee, it had taken one day for him to remember how I took it.

He sat in the chair closest to me, drinking his own, "Are you ready to come inside yet?"

Smiling up at him, I shook my head, "Nope."

He sighed, taking a long drink of his coffee. "Are you gonna tell me why yet?"

"Nope." I replied and took a long drink of mine.

"Linny." He said with annoyance.

The first time Hannah had called me that my blood had run cold, memories flooding back with such force I almost left the second after. Only one other person had called me that and they were dead. But I had made a promise and despite me fighting against it, I had an opportunity to fulfill it. I never thought I'd see that day, but…here we were.

"Using Hannah's nickname will get you nowhere." I told him, getting a glare from him.

Smiling, I took my hair out again, braiding it over my shoulder. Standing, I rolled up my sleeping bag and put it in the corner, setting my pillow on top of it. Having slept in my clothes as usual, I pulled on my boots before moving toward the steps, putting my hand on his shoulder, handing him my empty cup, as I passed him by.

"Be careful." He told me. Smiling, I waved at him. "Be back before dinner."

Grinning, I walked backward a few steps, "I'll be back with dinner."

Turning, Mozzie trotted ahead of me, a prance in his step. He'd had one ever since we got here. That was almost three weeks ago now. He loved the peace that this place had given us. We had only killed walkers, and even then it was only when they came too close. No other person had appeared and I couldn't deny that I was starting to give in to what Ben had to offer. Security. A sense of normalcy. Happiness. I never thought I'd feel that again. Not after everything I'd gone through.

Having set up a string of snares, I walked the line, happy to find a few rabbits and even happier when I found a good sized boar in the last one. Spending the time needed to clean them, I was only an hour or so from the cabin, taking my time until I returned. Ben had been the perfect host. He'd been amazing and yet I couldn't be myself with him. I didn't know how anymore. I hadn't set one foot inside the cabin. I didn't sleep the first few nights; constantly feeling like something horrible was going to happen. I still felt like that, but it was slowly starting to fade. Though I was still planning on making rabbit stew over the fire pit and nowhere near the kitchen. Too many amenities would make it seem too possible to keep. It would only make it harder when it all came crashing down.

"Maybe it won't." I told Mozzie. "Maybe we can go on like this for a long time."

He panted and brushed against me. Smiling, I stroked his head, pulling on his ear as the small farm came into sight. Standing on the outskirts, I took in Ben and Hannah, both picking vegetables in the garden. Beyond the cabin I could hear the horses playing with each other, followed by the goats egging them on. Underneath them there was the clucking of chickens. The low moo of the cow, old enough to be annoyed by the younger animals' antics. Ben had done well here. Life was sustainable here. It was like a dream come true. A dream that I never wanted to wake up from, but, as with all good things, they must come to an end.

Mozzie took off, slipping under the fence, rushing toward the little girl who was playing more than she was helping. In the next moment, they were rushing off, playing tag in the yard in front of the cabin. Ben looked up at me, smiling. I hated when he smiled at me like that. I didn't want to care more for them than was absolutely necessary. We wouldn't be together forever and I didn't want to form a stronger bond with them only to have it ripped away from me. At the same time, I couldn't help but smile back, sighing and nodding as I made my way around the fence. Putting the carcasses near the drying stand I had made, gathering the bowl of salt, herbs, and spices that I had premade. Then I set to cutting the meat into thin slices. Treating them and hanging them, it would be a few days before they were ready to eat, but once they were ready they would be delicious and would be able to sustain us if we had to move on.

With blood smeared up my arms and against my face, I tediously worked, noticing when Ben walked up, heaving a heavy sigh. Looking up at him, I smirked, "I saved a rabbit for stew."

"Don't you think you've dried enough meat?" He asked.

"No." I stated on the verge of anger. "You're too comfortable here, Ben. You have no idea what the world is like now. You say you do, but you don't." I shot at him as I forcefully cut the meat.

"Tell me how you really feel." He smirked.

"Stop it." I frowned at him. Sighing, I looked around the yard, "Hannah and Mozzie took off. You might want to find them."

"If Moz is with her then I have nothing to fear." He told me as if he really wasn't the slightest bit concerned.

Sighing again, I shook my head, slicing the meat into the final slices. As soon as I was done, I collected the unused parts, putting them in a plastic lined tote. Telling Ben that I'd be back, I threw the tote over my shoulder, taking them to the pit I'd dug a few miles into the woods. It had taken days to dig it since I didn't allow Ben to leave the farm, staying there until the task was done. Surprisingly, he never fought me on that. He knew that it wouldn't help and would just end with a fight. Since then, the smell of meat had lured the dead toward it, ending up falling in with no way of getting out. Dumping what remained of the carcasses into it, the dead growled and tore at them, getting every last piece of meat they could off of them. It was disgusting. Hearing another coming closer, I ignored it, running off before it could get too close.

When I got back to the farm, dinner was already being made. I could smell it from outside. Walking to the unused horse trough, filled with water, I cleaned myself, gripping the bar of soap that was sitting on a small table. When I was finally done, I moved toward the porch, stopping at the base of the stairs, rubbing the palm of my hand with my thumb.

"Deciding if you're coming up here or not?" Ben asked as he stepped through the doorway.

Smiling, I looking up at him. His white button up was open, showing off his toned chest. Something that was growing common. I preferred him in his dirty white long-sleeved shirt and blue jeans. His clean button up and khaki pants were too crisp and…normal. Though I'd been finding it harder and harder to ignore his antics, but he was a man after all. And apparently the end of the world didn't do much to quench his cravings.

"Are you trying to seduce me again?" I smirked up at him.

"Never." He smirked back.

"Men." I said shaking my head.

"Women." He replied as his smile grew. He slowly stepped forward, and slowly moved down the stairs. "Come inside, Linny."

"No." I replied softly.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" He frowned, picking up my braid, rubbing the end of it between his fingers.

"Because I can." I replied with a frown. "I don't want to go in there."

"Where there's a bed and a bathroom?"

"Your bed." I stated with annoyance. "Your bathroom. Your home. Your family. Yours, Ben." Then I shook my head, "None of that is mine."

He looked at me sadly, "It could be though."

"Stop, Ben." I told him as I took my hair form his hand.

In the next second he had me against his chest. It was the first time we'd touched since I arrived. He helped treat my wounds and that was it. I tensed at the sudden closeness, not reciprocating it.

"I don't know what's happened to you, Caroline. But I'm promising you that you no longer have to do anything alone."

Trying to move away from him, he held me firmly in place. "You're only saying that because I'm the first decent person to cross your path."

"Others have showed up. I just haven't offered anyone else to stay."

"Were they all men?" I asked with annoyance.

He laughed and let me go. "No."

"Then they were all ugly women or what?" I frowned at him.

"Because you're so attractive?" He frowned back.

It was my turn to laugh. "No."

He sighed, gently tucking my hair behind my ear. "You are."

"Is that why you want me to stay?"

"Care, stop."

Scoffing, I smirked up at him, "Honestly, I can't remember the last time I looked at my reflection."

"That's probably a good thing." He smirked.

Laughing, I nodded at him. As soon as I stopped, I just stared up at him. Sighing, I put my hand against his chest before wrapping my arms around his neck. It must have surprised him since he tensed before his arms moved around me. One snaked around my waist while the other slid up my back to my neck.

"Does this mean you'll come inside?" He asked.

Laughing again, I let him go, taking a step back, "Don't push it."

He let it go, watching me as I checked the meat. Deciding that we'd keep this batch, I glanced in the direction of all the hidden treasures that were in these woods. Ben called me paranoid, I called me smart. In various locations, with various distances between them and the cabin, I had hidden weapons, dried meat, and a few unperishable items. All of it was in backpacks and in plastic trash bags to hide any scent that might be coming from them. I was so tedious in burying them that if I didn't know where there were, I would never have the slightest idea of where they might be. I had outdone myself, that's for sure. And I wasn't sorry for it. I needed us to have something in case we needed to make a quick exit. If we were compromised and needed to leave in a hurry, at least we had something to help us survive out there. We would need it. Living out there, starting at the bottom was one of the hardest things to do in this life. Few could survive. But I would make damn well sure that we did.

"I really want you to come inside." He told me.

Apparently he hadn't let it go.

"So you can ravage me?" I smirked at him.

"Care." He frowned.

"Ben." I frowned back.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn around this?" He asked, now angry.

"How many times are we going to go over this?" I shot back at him. "I've already told you that it's not happening. So let it go."

"No."

"No?" I asked with raised brows. "I can leave any time I want. You can't keep me here."

"Obviously." He stated shortly.

Now I was feeling a little hurt, frowning at him, speaking kinder, "Ben."

"Maybe you should just go." He told me, turning his back on me.

Anger was swelling up inside of me, "Fine." I shot at him. "Moz!" I yelled.

My dog appeared at the top of the stairs, smiling down at me. Going to the gate, I let myself out, heading into the woods with my dog. I disappeared, keeping the cabin barely in sight as I slowly made my way around to the other side of the farm. He didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. But I still felt the need to storm off.

Making it about three-quarters the way around, I stopped and faced the cabin. Crossing my arms, I waited for him to make a move. And he did. He came storming out of the cabin, looking in every direction.

"Stay." I shot at Mozzie when he attempted to move forward. "We're not going back just yet."

Ben looked pissed. I wasn't sure if it was at me or himself, either way, he looked like he was going to yell but he never did. I watched him storm back into the cabin, imagining the pacing he was more than likely doing. I was sure he didn't know I knew, but every time we got annoyed with each other, I'd be sitting on the porch in my corner, listening to him pace back and forth across the cabin floor. He was actually quite predictable.

When he didn't come back out, I finished my circle, slowly moving from the woods, and back toward the cabin. Stepping up to the gate, I put my arms on top of it, whispering for Mozzie to stay as we waited a few more minutes. Smiling, I listened to his pacing, knowing that when he stopped he would come barging out the door. As if by clockwork, the pacing stopped, silence following for maybe thirty seconds, and then he was out of the door. He was holding his rifle, his chest puffed out with determination.

"Can we not fight anymore?" I asked him.

He froze and slowly turned his head to look at me. He smirked, relaxing as he moved toward me. Watching every move he made, when he reached me, he put his arms on top of mine.

"Yeah." He replied sweetly. "I don't want to push you away."

"Then stop pushing me." I stated. He brought his fingers up, gently brushing my hair form my face. "Ben." I said with furrowed brows.

"Caroline." He said as he raised one, his thumb brushing my cheek.

Sighing, I put my hand over his, "You need to stop doing that."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because for as nice as the past few weeks have been, we don't know each other very well. And in this new world, trust should take a lot longer than that."

He put his other hand against my face, "Too bad."

"Too bad what?" I asked him.

"I trust you." He replied.

Taking his hands from me, I frowned at him, "Don't."

"Caroline, you need to let me in. You know you can trust me. I trust you. You want to be here just as much as we want you here."

As if on que, Hannah came rushing out of the cabin, "Mozzie!"

The dog rushed off after the little girl. For a few minutes we both just watched as the two frolicked in front of the cabin. They loved each other. It was obvious. Looking at Ben, he was smiling at his daughter and my dog. His smile was beautiful and I found myself reaching out for him, resting my hand against his bicep. He met my eyes, smiling at me.

"I do." I told him. He moved to embrace me but I pressed my hand against his chest. "I'm not there yet."

He sighed and nodded at me, "One day I'm not going to care."

Smiling, I put my hand against his cheek, rubbing it gently with my thumb. "One day I won't mind."

"Linny!" Hannah cried out to me. "Come play with us!"

"Coming, sweetie!" I called out to her. "Gotta keep the kids busy." I smirked at Ben.

"I'll finish dinner." He smirked back.

Joining Hannah and Mozzie, she was throwing the ball for him. Together we played keep away with him, which was always exciting. He was so full of energy that it was exhausting to try and keep the ball from him, tossing it away from us for just a moment's reprieve. It didn't help that Hannah liked to be swung into the air while holding the ball, making Mozzie jump that much higher.

"You look like hell." Ben smirked at me when we finally made our way to the steps.

Breathing hard, I waved off the comment, putting my hands on my hips. "I'm…totally…fine." I panted. "And for the record," I told him as I slowly moved up the steps, "she is way heavier than she looks." He laughed, snaking his arm around my waist. "Not cool." I smirked at him, attempting to remove it.

"Nope." He replied, tightening his hold on me. "Just give in to me." He whispered.

Bending my arms against my chest, I pressed myself against his, shutting my eyes as I listened to the beating of his heart. "This is all you get." I whispered back.

"Put your hands on me, Jack." He replied.

"What?" I said and leaned away from him. "Seriously? Of all the possible movie quotes out there you pick that one?"

He laughed and nodded, "Can I touch your boob now?"

I simply couldn't help myself. We both burst with laughter and I shoved him away from me. We kept laughing as he took my hand, and we both moved toward the door. But before I walked through I stopped, smiling at him before pulling my hand from his.

He simply sighed and nodded, "I'll bring you a plate."

"You're the best."

"No I'm not." He replied as he disappeared inside. "Hannah! Bring Mozzie in for dinner!"

Hannah rushed up the stairs, throwing her arms around me before rushing inside with my dog. Mozzie had no problem going inside. He wasn't nearly as mentally scarred as I was. Eating alone outside, I listened to Ben and Hannah talk. Hannah made Mozzie do a bunch of tricks, and then both of them were outside again, playing in the yard. I listened while Ben hummed to himself as he washed the dishes. I loved listening to him. He was modest about it, but he had a very nice voice. I was finding there was little that I hadn't grown to love and was finding it harder and harder to make excuses for I truly did love it here.

When it was starting to get dark, Hannah and I sat at the table and worked on her grammar and math for a little while. I wasn't a good teacher, but it was important that she got whatever schooling we could offer her. It couldn't all just be about survival. I wanted her to be a good person. Even if she wasn't mine. Then we ended the night with a dots tournament and a few chapters of World War Z. I couldn't deny that it wasn't the best book for a young girl, but there wasn't a lot of variety here; and it was kind of like an autobiography of the world we lived in. As least it was something.

"We need to find her Harry Potter or something. The Inheritance Cycle would be fun too. Something more kid friendly." I told Ben as he sat with me after putting Hannah to bed.

"We'll look on our next run."

"Our next run?" I frowned at him.

He sighed, "Your next run."

"Thank you."

"I'm not an idiot. I made plenty of runs before you got here."

"I know. But now that I am here, you need to stay here and look after Hannah. Nothing can happen to you, Ben." I told him matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well, nothing can happen to you either, Caroline." He replied already sounding annoyed with me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make myself sound dispensable. But I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. And I'd never forgive you for leaving me to watch over Hannah. I'm not exactly mom materiel."

"You're amazing with her." He stated.

"Thank you." I told him again. "But I still don't want to have full custody of her. Half works just fine with me."

"You say that like you're gonna stay."

"I am staying." I frowned at him.

"I mean, like forever."

"I am staying forever." I stated. "I'm not going anywhere, Ben."

"And yet you don't want me to trust you."

I just smiled at him, "Exactly."

"You're so weird."

Laughing, we lingered in silence until he started to fall asleep in the chair. He looked amazing just sitting there, his eyes shut, starting to swing back and forth as he fell asleep. He really was an amazing guy. I didn't know how I was lucky enough to come across him. I wanted to be here more than I could ever say. We could sustain this. We could live like this for the rest of our lives. And I intended to.

Getting up, I stepped up to him, pressing a kiss against his forehead. He didn't seem to notice. Shaking him slightly, he jumped and looked up at me. "Sorry. You should go to bed."

He nodded, "You should come with me."

Following him to the door, I looked in, just able to see Mozzie curled up with Hannah in her bedroom. He loved it here more than I did. Looking up at Ben, I simply smiled and shook my head. "No." Putting my hand against his chest, I leaned up and pressed a kiss against his cheek, "I'll see you in the morning." Going to my corner, I unrolled my sleeping bag, conscious that he was still watching me. "What?"

"You've taken a lot of baby steps today." He replied.

I nodded, "I have."

"Okay." He stated, making me look at him. "As long as you know."

"Goodnight, Ben." I smiled.

"Night, Linny." He replied and shut the door.

Sleeping soundly, I was only mildly aware that something was gripping me. We had become so used to this way of life. Where few walkers came by, most lured away by the various traps I had laid for them. We had our warning signals in place, none of which had been touched in days. So I wasn't alarmed. Not at first. Only then the sound of them reached me and my eyes shot open. I had been hunkered down in my sleeping bag, the only thing that was saving me. There was a walker on my feet, another at my side, a third at my head. I wanted to yell out, but I didn't. I remained calm, trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this.

Taking slow deep breaths, I slid my hand under my pillow, feeling the knife that was there. Waiting only a moment, I gripped it, shoving the walker at my head away from me. Sitting up, I stabbed the one at my side through the top of its head. Then I stabbed the one at my feet through the temple. By the time that was done, another was already coming for me. Putting my hand against its chest, it started to sink into its ribcage, bringing its snapping teeth closer and closer to me. Staring into the face of what used to be a man, there was little skin left, his teeth visible and snapping, no lips left to cover them up. Stabbing him underneath his chin, he slumped against my arm, whatever was left inside of him was pouring out onto me. Letting him fall to the side, I started to breath heavily. Then my hair was gripped and I struggled to free myself. Scrambling to my feet, I noticed that nearly a dozen walkers were making their way toward me.

Rushing to the door, I reached for the nob only to have my feet pulled out from underneath me. "Ben!"

Turning back to the walker that had gripped me, it was crawling up my body. Stringy hair was partially covering the face of the woman who's eyes were locked on me, wanting my flesh. Hungry for it. Only then there was a shot and an arm was around me. In the next second I'd been spun inside the cabin. There were a few more shots before the door slammed. Hannah was screaming and Mozzie was barking before he was in my face, his nose brushing against me before he lapped at my chin.

"I'm okay." I told him as I sat hunched against the wall.

"Care." Ben said frantically as he knelt in front of me. "Hannah, it's okay!" He yelled to his daughter.

The room was blurry as my adrenaline coursed through me.

"Caroline." Ben said again, calmly.

Then there were small hands against me as well, crying in my ear.

"It's okay." I told Hannah as I took her in my arms. "It's okay, sweetie. Nothing is going to happen to you." Then I met Ben's eyes. He looked worried. Putting my hand against his face, I pulled him down to me, pressing my forehead against his. "I'm not bit. I'm okay. Thank you."

I felt a shudder move through him, then he moved his daughter from my arms and pulled me into his. Wrapping my arms around him, I put my hand against the back of his head, burying my face in his neck. He seemed to relax, sitting, taking me with him as he cradled me in his arms. Holding tight to him, I finally felt myself start to relax as well. Feeling Hannah's hands against my back, she wrapped her arms around me as well, feeling Mozzie's nose as he pushed his head underneath my arm.

"I'm okay." I told them, letting Ben go. Looking at my dog, I smiled, running my hand along his head. "Hannah." I said and pulled her into me again. "Let's get you cleaned up." I told her before getting to my feet.

Looking around the cabin, no lights were on, but I could see well enough. It was more spacious than I had thought it was. There was a nice living room, two bedrooms on the right, the open kitchen to the left with a small breakfast bar. The kitchen table with four chairs. Between the kitchen and the living room was another door. Assuming it was the bathroom, I moved her toward it, assuming right, and sat her on the toilet. Without question or prompting, Ben brought another set of pajamas for her. Striping her, I cleaned any walker blood from her before getting her dressed again.

Taking her to her bedroom, I tucked her in, talking softly to her until she started to drift off. Rushing from the room, I went back to the bathroom, looking at myself for the first time in a long time. My brown hair was longer than I had thought it was, falling loosely over my shoulder and passed my bust. My blue-grey eyes were wide and terrified. My skin pale in contrast to the blood that covered it. Starting to frantically clean the blood and gore from my skin, I yanked off my shirt, throwing it in the trash next to the vanity. Then I kicked off my shoes, pulling down my jeans, frantically trying to get them off of my legs. In the process I fell backward, hitting my back against the edge of the tub. Ben had been quiet up until then.

"Caroline." He said as he rushed to me, taking my head in his hands. "Linny, calm down."

"Get it off of me." I told him as tears filled my eyes. "Please just get it off of me."

He nodded, gripping me under my arms and effortlessly pulled me onto my feet. Scooping my legs out from under me, he set me in the tub. Getting in, clothes and all, he turned on the water, waiting till it was warm before he turned on the shower. I flinched as the water hit me, shutting my eyes, gripping fistfuls of Ben's shirt in both my hands. Then his hands were moving across my skin. They were rough and yet gentle as he washed the blood and gore from my skin, tipping my head back to make sure it was all out of my hair. When he was done, he wrapped a towel around me, once again picking me up, holding me tight against his chest as he moved from the bathroom. He took me to his room, setting me on the edge of the bed. He dried me off before gently pushing me back against the pillow pulling the covers up to my chin.

As soon as he'd done it, I was already up and out of the bed, pacing at the foot of it. I was still wearing my bra and underwear, that was soaked and chafing against my skin. Ben didn't say anything as he handed me a pair of sweats and a shirt, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Standing there, I looked around the room. I never intended on coming into this home. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to smell it. Feel it. I didn't want to leave the world that was outside. If I did than I would have to believe that there was still good left and that we didn't have to live with fear. I had already begun to feel that way. Only then I'd grown careless and look what happened. They'd come and I would have died if it weren't for Ben. He saved me. He brought me into his home. But…I still wanted to be outside these walls.

Sighing, I took in the log bed. The two dressers. The closet. The small loveseat that had what looked like a journal sitting on top of it. As well as a few books, all looking like they were Stephen King or Dean Koontz. Frowning, it was kind of ironic that he had horror or thriller books when the real world was starting to mirror them. Deciding that since I was already here, already inside, I undressed the rest of the way, draping my undergarments over a chair that was in the corner. Pulling on his sweats, I tightened them as far as they would go, tying them off. They draped loosely over my hips but they would stay on. Bringing his shirt to my face, I took a deep breath of it. It smelled amazing. It smelled like him. Putting it on, I instantly felt better. Remembering what it was like to have someone.

Opening the door, I took in Ben, pacing and looking out the window with such anger I didn't know if I wanted to say anything or not. I couldn't tell if he was angry that I'd unknowingly lured them to the porch, or because I was being ungrateful, or for some other reason I didn't know about.

"Ben?" I said softly. He stopped and turned to me. "I'm sorry. I got careless and I didn't hear the alarms go off. I didn't mean to lure them here."

In the next moment I was in his arms. "I don't care about any of that." He told me, taking my head in his hands as he leaned away from me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Just a little shook up."

He nodded and then he was kissing me. For a moment I tensed, surprised, only then I relaxed, kissing him back. Wrapping my arms around him, my hand found the back of his neck, running up and gripping his hair. His kisses were urgent before they finally started to relax. His muscles loosened though he kept me firmly against his chest. His hand found my face as he deepened the kiss.

"Sorry." He told me when he'd finally leaned away from me.

Smiling, I brought his face to mine again, my lips against his, "I'm not complaining."

"Something that is odd for you." He frowned.

Grinning at him, I ran my fingers through his hair, "I know."

"What's happening right now?" He frowned harder.

"You saved me, Ben." I replied. "And I've been stubborn and you've been nothing short of amazing. You're the one who wanted me to give in to you."

"Yeah, but it was too easy."

"You call surviving against the walkers easy?" I countered.

"No."

"Then don't question this, because right now all my walls are down and when I build them back up, I want you on the inside with me." I told him, pressing my forehead against his. "Thank you, Ben."

Then he was kissing me again, "I'm pretty sure I'd do just about anything for you."

"Good. Because I know I'd do anything for you."

He gently led me back to the bedroom, our lips never ceasing. Only as soon as the door was closed behind us, he let me go. Smiling, we both crawled into bed. He opened his arm to me and I didn't hesitate to move against him. I had forgotten what it was like to be close to someone like this. It had been such a long time since I'd had anyone. I liked it. I wanted to feel this way for the rest of my life. Who knew how long or short that would be? All I knew was that I'd be with him till that day came.


	4. Life and Death

**Hello all! I just wanted to say one quick thing. The timeline for this story is not exact to the shows. I have taken liberties with it along the way. Just an FYI. ; )**

 **ENJOY!**

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Life and Death**

Wiping the sweat from my forehead with the back of my wrist, I listened to the sound of Hannah's laughter, accompanied by Mozzie's happy play barking. Pulling the potatoes from the ground, I brushed them off and put them in the basket next to me. Looking up, I couldn't help but grin at Ben. He was doing the same, only he was putting carrots in his basket. We had waited as long as we could. This would be the last good harvest before winter came. We'd made good throughout the months I'd been here. Moz and I had settled into a life of luxury with Ben and his daughter. As well as all the farm animals and the garden that we'd babied as if they were human. This was our survival and from the looks of it we were going to be just fine.

"You're staring again." Ben smirked without looking up at me.

Laughing lightly, I continued my task, "I know."

"You've been doing that a lot lately." He added.

"It just means I kind of like you a lot." I told him and laughed.

When he was silent, I looked up only to come face to face with him. Then his lips were against mine, his tongue pushing in to meet mine. Grinning, I kissed him back, gripping the front of his shirt to keep him close to me.

"I love you." He whispered to me, meeting my eyes.

"I love you, too." I whispered back.

Working in the garden for the majority of the day, we took a break around noon for lunch. Sitting on the porch, Ben massaged my feet as we sipped come coveted lemonade that I'd found on my last run. It tasted amazing and in this moment I felt so relaxed. Watching him fondly, I couldn't help the happiness that flowed through me. Pulling my foot from him, I stood and straddled his lap, taking his face in my hands I kissed him slow and deep, letting my lips linger against his.

"I'm glad you finally let me in." He told me softly.

"You're lucky. It doesn't happen often." I smirked and kissed him again.

"I love you."

"I know." I smiled and kissed him again.

"Tell me you love me." He whispered, keeping my eyes.

Kissing him passionately, wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed as close to his chest as I could get. I didn't fall in love often. I actually had only loved one man before him. I knew that I loved him. He had become my world. Only, with the way that world had become, what did that mean? Did it mean the same or was it just a sense of security? But the more I kissed him, the more I felt the heat between us; I knew that it meant the same. This world couldn't take everything from us and this was something we would hold onto.

"I love you." I finally told him.

"Where's Hannah?" He asked.

"Out back with Mozzie, playing with the chickens." I replied.

"Do we have time?"

Smirking, I shrugged a shoulder at him, "And rush it?"

He didn't say anything; he simply started to kiss me, lifting me into his strong arms before he took me inside. Glancing out the window, Mozzie was keeping an eye on Hannah while she pet the chickens, the horses dipping their heads down to see her. Smiling, I was kissing him again as we both started to undress. Then we were amongst the sheets, our bodies rubbing against each other as we made love. His muscles rippled underneath my hands, making my breath shudder as I arched against him, climaxing before he rolled off of me, a grin on his face.

"See? Plenty of time." He smirked at me.

Laughing, I rolled over and started to kiss him. "You're so smart."

"I know." He grinned. Laughing again, I got up and started to get dressed again. "So soon?" He frowned at me.

"Hannah is bound to wander in here any minute." I smiled at him.

"Dad!" Hannah called.

"See?" I said with a raised brow.

"Linny!"

Pulling my shirt on, I leaned down and kissed him once more, "Love you."

"Love you."

"In here, sweetie!" I called out to Hannah. She bounded into the room. "What is it?" I asked.

She launched herself onto her father, shrieking as he caught her and lifted her into the air. Grinning, I watched them, dropping back onto the bed and started to tickle her as she flailed in the air. Only then her foot caught her father's stomach, making him jerk and launch the poor girl into me, sending us both to the floor.

"You guys okay?" Ben asked as he leaned over the edge, holding his stomach.

Hannah was on top of me and she quickly rolled off, running from the room laughing. Smiling as I watched her, Mozzie bounced at her side, having waited for her in the living room. They disappeared back outside, leaving Ben and me once again alone. He folded his arms on top of my legs, looking down at me. Pulling my legs free, I rolled onto my hands and knees, turning to him and swiftly pressing my lips to his. Continuing to kiss him, I finally stood and returned outside, checking on Hannah and Mozzie before starting to pick the garden again.

It was amazing how normal our life felt. We hadn't seen a walker in weeks and I'd managed to find enough food to see us through the winter. When the day the snow arrived, we were happy in our little nest, knowing that we could relax and survive without anything happening. The snow would slow the walkers, leaving little worry in our day to day life. We played games and colored and read, all within our little home, passing the time as best we could.

More than that, the nights spent with Ben were the nearly the happiest I'd ever had. He was amazing and he made me feel amazing. I never thought I could have a life like this. Especially when the world went to hell. All I knew since then was pain and death. I used to kill people all the time. Only now I realized that I had it all wrong. I didn't need to kill. I didn't need to fight as ruthlessly as I thought I did. Ben showed me that good people still existed. There was still good in this world worth fighting for. And I was going to fight for it.

"I am so sick of this cold." I told Ben as I looked out the window, sipping the hot chocolate.

Hearing Ben step up behind me, he slid his hands around me, pressing against my back as he pressed his face against the back of my shoulder. Smiling, I brought my hand to his face, turning my head and pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"Let's go to bed then and I'll make you warm." He told me gently.

Smiling, I set my mug down and started to follow him toward the bedroom. We were nearly to it when pounding started on the door. We both froze, turning to it. I reacted first, rushing to it, grabbing the knife that was in a sheath above the door. Looking out the window, I flipped on the light, only to see a shivering human being pressing against the door.

"Who are you?" I called out.

"Please. Please let me in." He said pleadingly.

"Not until you tell me who you are." I stated.

"Bill. My name is Bill."

"Are you alone?"

There was a long pause before he replied, "I am now."

Sighing, I looked at Ben. He looked unsure but nodded at me. Opening the door, he fell to the floor. Looking outside, there were walkers in the distance. Feeling annoyed, knowing that he had just ruined a perfectly good evening. I looked at Ben again as I put my boots on, stepping outside, shutting the door behind me. Jogging forward, I stabbed the first walker, then the three that were starting to move toward me. Standing in the snow, listening, I turned back home, letting myself back inside to see the man drinking from my mug.

Raising a brow at Ben, he frowned at me, clearly unsure, "So, Bill, what brings out all the way out here?" I asked him with a hard tone. "Where did you come from?"

"The dead brought me here. Me and my family were attempting to find shelter and they surrounded us. I had no choice but to abandon them."

"So they're dead?" I asked.

"Caroline." Ben said gently.

I shrugged at him, "Well, are they?"

He nodded, "Their deaths distracted them long enough for me to escape."

Sighing, I nodded at him. "You can stay till morning. We'll give you a day's worth of supplies but then you have to be on your way."

He nodded, "Okay. Thank you."

Nodding again, I looking at Ben and went to the bedroom, as soon as the door was closed I crossed my arms and faced him. "I don't like him."

"His family just died."

"I don't care. There's something off about him. Something feel's wrong, Ben."

"You have to trust someone at some point, Linny."

"I did." I nodded at him. "I trusted you and so far that's worked out. I don't trust anyone else."

"You need to try." He replied.

"No, I don't. I would have died a long time ago for trusting the wrong people. You don't understand, Ben. You weren't out there long enough to figure it out. You've been living pretty cushy since this whole apocalypse started."

"So have you."

"Not until I met you."

He sighed and crossed his arms, "So what do you want to do?"

"What I said we'd do. Let him stay till daylight and then send him on his way. And we can't show him everything we have. We don't know if he's telling the truth or not."

He nodded, "Fine."

"Thank you." I replied. "And one of us is going to have to keep watch."

"Linny." He frowned. "You can't be serious."

"I'm dead serious." I told him, not leaving any room for argument. "I'm serious, Ben. We do not leave him alone tonight. Especially not with Hannah here."

"She has Moz."

"Ben, I'm not arguing about this. I'm stating the facts."

His brows furrowed and he took a step toward me, "This is still my house, Caroline. You don't dictate what we do and what we don't. I let you in and that's worked out. We can't just abandon everyone. You do not rule us."

"If you want to live, I do." I told him.

"No, you don't." He replied and left the room.

Standing there, I knew I'd crossed a line, but I was simply protecting the things I cared about. And I cared about him. I cared about Hannah. I didn't want anything to happen to either of them and this felt like a very bad idea. Joining the two men, I sat in the corner, listening to Ben talk to him, frowning and shaking my head every time I thought he was giving too much away. Even after Ben went to bed, I stayed up, watching Bill with suspicious eyes. He felt it. He had to have.

"I appreciate what you're doing for me." He smiled. "You're giving me a chance." I nodded at him. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"I do." I nodded. "Just not to people I don't trust."

"I'm not here to hurt you."

"You can tell me whatever you want to. I won't believe it until you prove it."

"I don't think that'll happen by morning."

"No." I said shaking my head. "You should sleep."

"So should you."

Smiling, I simply crossed my arms, "I'm used to going a couple nights without sleep. And I can sleep after you leave in the morning."

He nodded and laid on the couch, shutting his eyes. He appeared to drift off pretty quickly. Watching him intently, it was a few hours later when I was starting to feel the effects of no sleep. Standing, I paced the room before checking on Hannah. It was a few hours later when I finally opened the door to the room I shared with Ben. Leaving the door open, I stepped up to his side of the bed, looking down at him. Smiling, I leaned down and pressed a kiss against his forehead. Then I pressed a kiss against his lips before making my way back out to the living room, shutting the door so he could sleep.

As soon as the sun started to come up, I started to put together the rations I'd promised. Grabbing an old potato sack, I filled it, added two bottles of water before loudly walking toward the door, setting the bag next to it. Coughing, Bill stirred and woke up, sitting with a frown on his face. I stood in front of him with crossed arms, smiling down at him.

"You weren't kidding about staying till morning." He told me still groggy.

"It's morning." I stated. "I put a bag together for you. Take it and go."

"Linny?" Ben said as he came out.

Looking up at him, I smiled, "Bill was just saying how he was gonna get going."

"She's kicking me out." Bill stated as he stood.

"Caroline." Ben frowned.

I shook my head at him, "It's morning."

"I can go. It's okay. Thank you, Ben." He told him before moving toward the door.

"Good luck." I smiled as I opened the door for him.

Ben sighed and stepped forward, "I'll walk you out."

"Ben." I frowned at him.

"Care, I'll be fine." He told me and grabbed his jacket, following Bill outside.

Rushing to the window I watched them closely. If Bill tried anything, I was pretty sure I was already too late. Ben was probably safe but I still had a very bad feeling about it. There was only a few weeks of winter left and I was sure the man was going to be fine. We still needed to be careful. Ben wanted to see the good in people but before Ben I'd only ever known the bad. He couldn't blame me for being overly protective of him and of our little life here. Something was bound to happen eventually. He was lucky that I didn't kill Bill on sight. Part of me felt like I still should.

"Linny?" Hannah said as she and Mozzie came out of her room.

"Hey, sweetie." I told her before rubbing Mozzie's ear as he looked out the window. A small growl came from inside of him. "I know, buddy."

"What's Daddy doing?" Hannah asked.

"A man stopped by and Daddy is sending him away."

"Why?" She asked. "Is he a bad man?"

"No. But we have to be careful who we trust."

"And you don't trust him?" She asked.

"Sweetie, the only people I trust are you and your dad."

She wrapped her arms around me as I stared at Ben, watching him smile and chit chat with him. I didn't realize that I'd been holding my breath until Ben started to walk back toward the house and I let the breath out. I watched Bill walk away; making sure it was the opposite direction as Ben. As soon as he was inside, I finally relaxed, nodding at him with furrowed brows.

"Is the bad man gone?" Hannah asked.

He sighed and frowned at me before he smiled at his daughter, "He's not a bad man, sweetheart. He was just passing through."

"Linny doesn't trust him." She stated.

"Linny isn't always right." He told her. "Now do me a favor and go get dressed." She smiled and walked back to her room. "What right do you think you have to tell her not to trust people?"

"The right I took upon myself to keep her alive." I frowned at him.

"She's my daughter. Not yours." He shot at me. "You do not get to pass what you believe onto her. She's a good person and she needs to remain a good person."

"You're killing her, Ben." I told him. "She needs to know that she can't trust everyone. People will take advantage of her and she will lose everything, maybe even her life."

"You don't get to decide that." He replied, pointing his finger at me. "If we believed what you did than I should be asking you to leave too."

"I told you to leave me alone the day I met you. You're the one who wanted me here. We talked about this and you told me that you would trust me when it came to the people who showed up here."

He sighed and nodded at me. "I know we did and I did agree. But we haven't seen anyone in months."

"That doesn't matter. It doesn't mean we can trust them."

He nodded, "I know."

"I know you know, Ben. That is why I need you to be careful. Please tell me you didn't tell him anything you shouldn't."

"I didn't." He replied. "But I still think we need to give people a chance."

"I don't."

"I know." He nodded. "Can we not fight?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

It was our oldest argument and it still got both of us going. I understood his feelings and I wished I could have faith in people the way he did. But I couldn't. I couldn't trust people and it sucked. I trusted Ben. I really did but that was special circumstances. There had been plenty of people I'd come across that would have killed me if I hadn't killed them. I still believed in my kill first and ask questions later mentality. There wasn't common curtesy anymore. There wasn't Good Samaritans. There was only survival and what people would do to obtain it.

* * *

Waking to the sun on my face, I felt for Ben but he wasn't there. Getting up, I looked out the window to see green on the ground. Spring had finally come. Going out into the living room, Ben was making breakfast, Hannah was yammering on about something while Mozzie shadowed Ben in hopes of getting scrapes.

"Morning." I smiled.

"Linny." Ben smiled and stepped up to me, kissing me deeply and repeatedly. "Love you."

Grinning, I kissed him once more, "Love you."

It had been weeks since Bill had appeared and we were officially fine. Better than fine. We were happier than ever and now that spring was here it just made everything seem that much better. Sitting next to Hannah, I listened as she explained to my why she liked her cereal and anything else that came to mind. Humoring her, as soon as she had eaten, her and Mozzie were allowed outside, enjoying the spring weather.

The door had barely closed behind them when Ben came around to me, staring to kiss me as I laughed and wrapped my arms around him. He pushed between my legs, making me wrap them around him as he cemented himself to my chest. Pushing him back, I wrapped my arms around him in return as I got to my feet, ready to take him to bed. Taking too long, he scooped me up and brought me to bed, making love to me until I couldn't walk.

Feeling exceptionally happy, we got dressed and started to clean up the kitchen. Checking on Hannah and Moz, they were playing fetch with a stick, making me smile. I loved my life. Going to Ben, I ran my hand along his back as I started to dry the dishes. We were talking about arbitrary things when I heard Mozzie start to freak out. Looking at Ben, I rushed to the door and yanked it open.

"Bill." I said as I took in the man from a few weeks ago. Only he wasn't alone. "What are you doing here?"

He simply smiled at me. "I'm here for everything that's yours."

"What's going on?" Ben asked as he appeared at my side.

"You should have listened to her, Ben." He smiled.

Looking around, there was five of them. Two men and three women. My mind immediately went to the weapons we had and how long it took me to get to them before they rushed us.

"Hannah." I said and she swiftly rushed up the stairs. Mozzie followed, standing at my side with a growl in his throat. Disappearing inside, I swiftly grabbed my gun and my knife. "Stay away from the windows. Get your gun and shoot anyone that comes in here." I told Ben.

"What are you going to do?" He frowned.

"I'm going to protect our home." I told him.

"You can't do it alone."

"I can." I nodded, my mind trying to figure out if I could. "I can do it, Ben. I have to."

"I'll go with you."

"No!" I yelled, making everyone jump. "You need to stay here and protect Hannah. Mozzie will stay to make sure you're both safe."

"No, take him with you."

"Caroline!" Bill's voice came from outside. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Now I was pissed. "Stay here."

Rushing to the door, I let myself out, closing the door behind me. Stepping down the stairs, they had already come halfway up our property.

Knowing full well that if I let off a shot, the dead would come calling. At the same time, I could handle the dead. The living was far more unpredictable and far more dangerous. Slowly stepping across the porch and down the stairs. I held tight to the hilt of my knife. I could take them. I would probably not go unscathed but I could live through this. I would live through this to keep my family safe.

"You should have been nicer to me, Caroline." Bill smirked.

Smirking back, I just shrugged, "I should have killed you on sight."

He nodded, "That, too." They were slowly closing the distance between us.

"Let's just get this started."

Breaking into a run, I slid my knife into the woman who was closest to me. She screamed and fell to her knees as I slicing my knife through her side, disemboweling her. Then Bill was reacting, feeling a knife dig into my shoulder blade. He'd missed. If he had stabbed me where he wanted to than I would be dead right now. Hearing yelling and gunfire, I turned to see three more starting to swarm the cabin. The distraction caused another to slice across my chest.

Stumbling backwards, I regained balance as another woman came at me. Slicing her arm, she faltered just long enough for me to stab her in her neck, blood hitting me as I pulled it out. Then the other man had me round my middle, taking me forcibly to the ground. Feeling his fist against my face and sides, his knee digging into my abdomen, it took a long time for me to defend myself against him. He stopped with his hand against my throat, hearing a gun click as he brought it to my head. Deflecting his wrist, the shot hit the ground; dirt hitting my face, stinging as it hit my eye. Punching him, I forced him off of me, his gun now in my hand and I shot him through his forehead. Swinging it up, Bill and the other woman was already running. Looking at the cabin, I saw Ben shoot one of them, hearing Mozzie barking. Knowing he could handle himself, I rushed after Bill and the last woman. Following the frantic breathing of the woman, I was right behind her, pushing myself just a little further before I shoved her to the ground.

"Wait!" Bill yelled as before he was rushing into view. "Please!"

Shooting next to her head, I kept my eyes on him, "Please?"

"She's my wife." He said dropping to his knees.

"I don't care." I told him and blew her away.

He screamed and lunged at me. Swinging my knife up, I stabbed him in his temple, taking both of us to the ground. Sitting back on my heels, breathing hard, I pulled my knife from his skull, cleaning it on the shirt of his woman. For a moment I just sat there, catching my breath, realizing how jaded I'd become. I didn't care about killing anymore. If anyone even remotely threatened me or the people I cared about, I'd shoot first and ask questions later. Good people would die, but at least we'd be alive.

Finally getting to my feet, I felt good knowing that we'd cut their numbers down by half. The rest would hopefully just leave us the hell alone after this. Only then I looked up, smoke rising up above the trees, right before the flames.

"No." I breathed before I was running.

Racing back toward home, I was still several yards away when I saw the cabin on fire. I'd never been more afraid in my life.

"Ben!" I screamed as I launched myself over the fence. "Hannah! Moz!"

Nothing.

Rushing toward the fire, I ducked underneath the flames as I went to the window. Looking inside, there were multiple bodies on the floor. For a moment I didn't think my family was amongst them. Only then I saw a man with his arm around a small form, both being engulfed with flames. Screaming, in the next second I was blown backward as the window burst, rolling over the railing before crashing to the ground. Blacking out, when I came to, fire was burning my side, my left shoulder bloody and burned as well. My arms were littered with cuts and guessing from the pain on my face, I knew I was either cut, burned, or both. Rolling until the fire was out; I staggered to my feet, turning toward the still flame engulfed cabin.

"Ben!" I screamed. "Hannah! Mozzie!"

Attempting to make it up the porch, I couldn't make it past the flames. I was screaming my family's names, praying to God that somehow I was wrong. But I'd seen them. They had been there. I'd told them to stay in the cabin. I'd left them to die because I was so sure that I didn't need help. I told him that I didn't need his help and now he was…

"Ben!" I screamed again.

There was a second explosion and I was once again thrown backward. The air was knocked from my lungs, my vision speckling as I attempted to roll back onto my feet. Coughing, slowly crawling away from what was left of my home, I froze when I heard the growling, finally looking up to see the dead moving toward me.

Forcing myself to my feet, I stumbled as I attempted to rush away from everything that I cared about. The dead had arrived to claim anything that was left. In just a matter of minutes I had lost everything.

Everything.

I'd never felt so broken.

Ben.

Hannah.

…Ben…

He had been perfect. At least perfect for me. And I loved him. And now he was gone. His sweet little girl along with him. I'd loved her just as much. God was cruel. He gave me the family I thought I'd never have and then took them away from me. Thinking of Mozzie, I started to yell for him, screaming his name. But he never came. He wouldn't have left them. He would have stayed at their side.

Still attempting to move, I knew that I couldn't stay here. Pulling the knife from my thigh, I looked at the dead. I was going to have to make a run for it. I didn't know how I was going to get out of this. I didn't know if I wanted to. I had no destination, leaving me once again to roam this dying world alone. Not even my dog for company. It was gone. All of it. Everything I cared about was gone. Stumbling toward the fence, fear was flowing freely. My body hurt and I knew that if I couldn't escape somewhere, I was going to die, and it was going to be horrific.

Stabbing two in the head, I threw myself between the rows of fencing, scrambled back onto my feet, and attempted to run into the woods. The fire would keep them distracted if I could just get far enough away from them to hide. Dodging the decaying corpses, dangling arms hit me as they twisted their deformed torsos toward me. Hands gripped at my shirt as I tried to avoid them. One finally took hold, making me spin and stab it through its temple. Another, who used to be a woman, was pulling itself across the forest floor, gripped tight to my pants, the suddenness of it made me fall to my stomach. It seemed to move faster than normal, clamoring up my body to get to the good meat. Trying not to scream, my knife hand was stuck underneath it as I gripped its hair with the other, the scalp started to separate as it pulled against my grip. Finally freeing my hand, I stabbed it anywhere I could, finally managing to shove my knife through its chin and into the brain. Pulling myself free, I attempted to stagger to my feet, falling before I managed to stay vertical.

Ready to fight any that were coming for me, I stopped as they all started to move around me, drawn by the fire. Frowning, unsure what was happening, I looked down to see myself covered in the walkers' blood. Slowly stepping forward, they passed me by as if I were one of them. Not caring in the slightest that I was still a living human being. Deciding not to press my luck, I wandered toward the spaces with the fewest of them, walked several yards after I'd left them all behind, and then I started to run. Running until my legs gave out, I laid on the ground, shaking as grief started to take me over. My surroundings started to fall away and I lost consciousness, my entire being aching.

* * *

Waking slowly, my eyes took longer than normal to adjust. My lungs felt like they were on fire. My hands were sore and cut. My whole body felt like I'd tumbled down a rock face and landed on a pile of cactuses. Looking around the room, it was white, beds on either side of me. Attempting to sit up, my head pounded, and pain shot up my arm from the crook of it. Looking down, I took in the needle and clear line, following it up to the bag hanging above me. Frowning, I brought my hand to my head, swallow hard. My mouth was so dry.

 _You're okay._

"Ben?" I said with a raspy voice. Turning my head, I smiled as I looked at him. "I thought I'd lost you."

 _Never._

"Ma'am?" A voice said.

I jerked and Ben disappeared, "Ben? What? Who the hell…?" A man stepped toward me, "I'm not a ma'am." I frowned.

He was tall, brown hair, kind face. He pushed up his glasses and smiled at me. "How are you feeling?" He asked kindly.

"Like shit." I replied.

"I'll have them bring you some morphine." He told me, pressing his hand against my forehead.

Frowning, I attempted to cower away from him but there was nowhere to go. Not unless I rolled out of the bed, yanking the IV from my arm. Nothing about that seemed appetizing so I simply laid there.

"I won't hurt you." He told me. "My name is Milton Mamet." I eyed him suspiciously. "Will you grant me the pleasure of your name?"

Still frowning, I told him, "Caroline."

"Caroline…?" He said clearly wanting to know my last name.

"Does it matter?" I retorted.

He kept my eyes for a long moment before he replied, "No. I guess not."

"Where am I?" I asked him.

"Woodbury." He replied.

"What the hell is Woodbury?"

"It's a town." He smiled. "You're safe here." Laughing, I sat up, fidgeting with the IV. "Leave that there. I'll get a nurse."

"You do that." I told him, still swinging my legs off the bed, gripping the neck of the IV pole as I stood up.

Pacing the room, I looked out the windows, seeing a place that appeared to have never been touched by whatever was taking over the world. A shiver ran down my spine and I swiftly stepped away. I didn't like the feeling that was going through me. I knew what the world was like. To pretend that it never happened wasn't going to do anyone any favors. If anything, it would only hurt those who lived here. They would never know how to defend themselves. They wouldn't know how to react to the world around them. If they only knew a life that was eerily normal, it would only kill them faster. Not only by the walkers, but by those who wanted what they have and would do anything to take it from them.

Then the door opened and another man came in. He was taller than Mamet had been, with an air of arrogance about him. He strutted in like he owned the place. "I hear you'd like to leave."

"I hadn't said the words, but yeah, I'd like to get the hell out of here."

"You're safe here."

"No one is safe."

"We have walls and can protect you from what's out there."

I glared at him, "Do you even know what's out there? Do you have any idea how to survive without walls and protection?"

He just watched me for a long time. "You look like you've seen hell."

I slowly stepped up to him, "You have no idea what I've seen. Let alone what I've done. Now Mamet said he was getting a nurse. Let's do that or I'll rip the IV out myself and leave of my own accord."

He smirked at me. I was about to lay into him when the door opened and a nice woman came in. She didn't say anything as she took out the IV, nodding and smiling at the man in front of me. As soon as she was gone, I stared up at the man before attempting to move around him.

"Three days." He told me.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm asking for you to give me three days to make you want to stay."

Glowering at him, I let it sink in for a few minutes, "And why would I do that?"

"You're exhausted. I can give you a place to stay. You can sleep without worrying about anyone or anything coming to get you. You can enjoy three meals a day. You can shower and get new clothes. We can offer you as normal a life as anyone can in this new world."

The thought was enticing. It was true, I was exhausted. But this place wouldn't last. Nothing gold can stay. "This place will never last."

"Even if that's true, why not enjoy what amenities it can offer while you can?"

"Because the world sucks, and pretending that it doesn't will just hurt me in the long run."

He chuckled lightly, nodding, "That may be. But I still implore you to stay."

"You know nothing about me. Why would want me to stay?"

"Because you're a survivor. You'd have to be to make it this long out there."

"I was managing just fine. Then _people_ ruined everything. It's not the dead that are killing the world. It's the living who are destroying it by fighting to put claim on everything that they see. Water. Food. Clothes. Shelter. It doesn't matter anymore. It's the living that are making it so easy for the dead to kill us." I told him before scoffing, shaking my head, "I trust you and this place less than the dead that now roam the earth."

He just looked at me, nodding slowly, looking like I'd struck some sort of emotion inside of him. But I honestly thought his whole demeanor was some sort of rouse. I didn't know what he really wanted, but giving me a safe place to live didn't mean that I was going to survive. At this point, I didn't even care if I survived or not. I'd already felt more pain than one person should. One spark of happiness seemed like a betrayal to those I'd lost. This world had already sucked whatever happiness I had in me out of me.

"That may be. But for now, I'll ask you to stay within these walls. I'll send someone to help you and show you around."

All I could do was nod. I'd said my piece and wasn't interested in speaking to him anymore.

"Wait here." He told me and moved to the door, letting himself out.

Pacing the room, my arm had a slight throb, but that was taking the pain away from the rest of my body. I'd done a pretty decent job at beating myself up. But who could blame me? I'd lost Mozzie. I'd lost Ben and Hannah. I'd lost my friends before them. My family was probably long dead. All the people I cared about were dead and every time I connected with someone they ended up the same way.

Dead.

When the door opened again, a woman with long curly hair walked in with a smile on her face. She looked to be around my age, and I couldn't decide if her smile was forced or if she actually wanted to be here. Something told me that she wasn't the type to mother-hen someone. Or maybe she was. Maybe she was a perfectly decent human being that was legitimately here to help me and show me what this place was like. Maybe…there we go with the damn maybes. Now I just felt depressed…

"Hi, I'm Karen."

"Caroline." I nodded at her, keeping my eyes to the ground.

I could feel her eyes on me, but she didn't reply right away, "Come on. I'll get you cleaned up and then I'll show you around." Lifting my eyes, I just looked at her suspiciously. She smiled and took a step toward me, "No hidden agendas. No one is going to hurt you. This is a safe place."

"Nowhere is safe!" I yelled at her, feeling myself start to shake as tears sprang to my eyes. "You don't know what it's like out there. Look around you, Karen! This isn't safe! This is a slow death for the idiots that don't know that the world is dead!"

Breathing hard, I just stared at her with wild eyes as tears ran down my cheeks. She was looking at me with both shock and sadness. Still shaking, I finally lowered my eyes as I crossed my arms. I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes, the breath shuddering as I pushed it out. Covering my eyes with my hand, I started to sob, doubling over as I dropped to my knees. Pressing my forehead against the floor, I wrapped my arms around my bed, screaming as the pain flooded every part of my being.

Karen just stood there and waited for me to calm down. I couldn't deny that she was patient. She waited for the tears to stop and then allowed me to wallow as I lay on the floor, moving to the wall as I stared off, imagining the Ben, Hannah, and Mozzie were here with me.

 _Linny._

My head jerked toward the door and Karen actually started, turning toward it. It was his voice. But he wasn't there. The tears started again and I brought my knees up against my chest as I once again wrapped my arms around my head, attempting to disappear.

"It obvious that you've been through a lot." She told me softly as she sat next to me.

"Don't." I shot at her. "Don't try and understand what I'm going through. You have no idea."

"You're not the only one who lost someone." She replied gently.

Looking at her, I couldn't help the glare that was on my face, "I'm not a good person. If you were smart, you'd walk me to the gates and let me out."

"How would you survive?" She asked.

"By doing exactly what I've been doing since this whole thing began."

"Killing?"

I looked at her, "Sometimes you have to kill."

"You don't." She smiled.

"Just one more thing that you don't realize."

"I've been out in the world." She told me. "I could surprise you with the things I've seen."

I couldn't help but laugh at her, "I'm sure." The depressing moment had passed and now I was just pissed off. "I can't leave here, can I?"

"You need to rest." She told me. "You're hurt."

"I would've been fine."

"You're burned and cut and just lost your family." She reminded me. "You need to accept our help."

I wanted to fight her but I was just so tired. Looking at her, I nodded, not having the energy to go rounds with her. She smiled and nodded back, getting to her feet before offering me her hand. Ignoring it, I frowned and got to my feet. She smiled and nodded again, motioning me toward the door. I crossed my arms and just looked at her. She sighed and nodded once again before she led the way out of the room.

I followed her, going out into the open street. Stopping, I took in the bizarre world that they had going on here. There were people laughing and soaking up the sun. Dogs were being walked. Footballs were being thrown. This was so surreal. Places like this didn't exist and they sure as hell didn't survive in a time like this. It was a ticking time bomb. This was unsustainable. Walls like this would draw in anyone that passed by. How could they control their population if they let everyone in? How could they survive without some set of rules? This wasn't right. Something wasn't adding up and I didn't want to be around when it all fell apart.

Karen gently touched my arm, making me jerk away from her. She just smiled and led me into an apartment building. Following her up two flights of stairs to the second floor, then down the hall, she stopped in front of a door with a shiny 7 on the front of it. She pushed the door open to a small one bedroom apartment. It was fully furnished and everything looked like it hadn't been touched. It looked like any apartment would that was being rented out. Made me wonder what the rent would be on this place. How many hours of work would I have to do? How much food would I have to bring in? How many orders would I have to take? None of that was something I was interested in. I might give, whoever that fucker was, his three days, but after that I was going to be gone.

"It's nice." I told Karen.

"And it's all yours." She smiled. "The Governor told me to make sure you felt at home."

"Is that what you call him? The Governor?"

"Yup. He's been a good leader."

"He's a cocky prick." I replied. She just smiled at me, obviously not feeling the same. "Why does he want me to be comfortable?"

"We need all the people we can get. There is strength in numbers and it's clear that you know how to survive in this new world."

"I do." I replied. "Meaning that being here will only suffocate me. I don't belong in a community. I belong out there where I can fight the dead and just…move on."

"From what? To where? No one can make it on their own. We all need someone to lean on. Once you find people you shouldn't just walk away."

"I did have people." I shot at her. "And the only reason I'm here is because I lost them to other _people_."

"I'm sorry."

Scoffing, I shook my head, "It doesn't matter. I'll give the _Governor_ his three days and then I'm out of here."

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

"I am. But more than that I'm tired." I replied.

She nodded, "Get some rest. I'll check on you later."

Nodding back at her, I slowly walked toward the bed. "Okay."

As soon as I heard her leave, I laid down on the bed, resting my head on the comfortable pillows. Staring out the window, when I finally shut my eyes, I was so exhausted that sleep took me almost immediately. A dreamless sleep to help me forget everything that I'd lost. Everything that I would never have again.


	5. How to Move On

**Chapter Five: How to Move On**

Waking early, I shifted only to be met with immense pain. My whole body felt like it was pulsating with pain. Swearing to myself, I relaxed against the pillows, wanting to get up but couldn't seem to find the energy. The second my eyes opened, all I could think of was Ben and Hannah and Mozzie. Even though Ben was at the forefront of my mind. The way his hair curled when it was wet. The feeling of his touch. The warmth of him next to me.

Shutting my eyes, tears ran from the corners of them, taking a deep breath as I attempted not to breakdown. Then I swore I heard his voice, smelling his cologne at the exact same moment. Shooting up, not only did pain flood every cell of my body, but I was forced to once again embrace my reality.

Ben was dead.

He was never coming back and it was my fault. I shouldn't have left them alone. I should have stayed there and protected them. I could have done something to save them. Falling backward, I screamed as loud and as long as I could before I rolled onto my side, curling up into a ball and sobbed as my grief crashed down on top of me.

When the tears finally stopped, I still laid there, staring at nothing as I tried to make myself move. But I just…couldn't. If I just laid here and thought of my family then they couldn't be gone. There were alive in my head and if I just laid here and thought of them I could keep them alive. The more I thought about it the more depressed and sobs once again racked me as grief once again spilled from me.

Having quieted again, I once again stared at nothing, trying to see if that worked better than focusing on them. Only then I heard voices, making me force myself up. My body protested as I slid off the bed, gimping to the window. Looking outside, people were walking back and forth. They were sitting at table with cups of coffee or eating something. Dogs were being played with.

This place couldn't be possible.

This place wasn't sustainable.

This place was inevitably going to fall.

I needed to get the hell out of here. Only I had no idea where I was. Moving toward the door, I had to figure out where the hell I was and why. I should have died in the woods. It would have been better that way. Only I wasn't, instead I was in a normal apartment in what appeared to be a normal town. If only they knew how screwed they were.

Leaving the room, I went down to the main road. Looking in both directions, there were gates with guards on top of them, pacing back and forth. In the other was the town with seemingly normal people meandering around looking as if the world was falling apart around them. Slipping down an alley, I walked to the wall, looking up and down it. Following it, I looked for any way I could to get out of here. Looking for any flaw in the wall that I could use to my advantage.

"There you are." Karen said as she approached me. Frowning, I nodded at her. "I'm sure you're starving. Come on."

"No, that's okay." I told her. "I'm not hungry."

"When was the last time you ate?" She smiled.

"It doesn't matter." I shot at her as I tried not to show that I was starting to shake, my throat tightening. "My family was just murdered. I don't feel like eating right now."

She nodded, "Okay."

"New person." Another voice said from behind me. A Hispanic-American looking man said walking toward me.

Glaring at him, I crossed my arms, "Yes?"

"The Governor would like a word." He told me.

"I don't answer to him." I told him quickly.

He just smiled at me, "Either way, you're coming with me."

He moved to grip my arm, getting a punch from me that sent him to the ground. He bounced back onto his feet, facing me as he worked his jaw. He laughed and stepped up to me.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked him nonchalantly.

He just smirked, "Not a damn thing."

"Good." I nodded at him.

He stepped aside and motioned with him arm, "Would you please accompany me to speak with our leader?"

He was being awfully cordial. Spending a few long minutes just looking at each other, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to get out of this. Sighing, I nodded and motioned him forward. He nodded back, his smile growing, before he started to walk. I followed him to one of the main buildings, being led into it and upstairs to a door. He knocked before opening it and motioned me inside. Then he closed it, cutting me off from both him and Karen. Turning around, the Governor was sitting at the table with a spread of food on top of it.

"Please." He said motioning to the chair next to him. "Sit. Enjoy a meal."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're probably starving."

Scoffing, I shook my head at him, "I don't want a damn thing from you."

He just watched me with a curious expression. "I'd still like you to take a seat."

"Or what?" I shot at him. "This isn't my home. You are not my leader."

He smiled and nodded, "No I am not. But I'd like you to tell me your story. Where you came from and who you were with."

"No."

"Now, I'm willing to give you everything you need. A sense of home and family. All I ask in return is for you to tell me what happened."

"I don't need a sense of home and family. I had that. Now it's gone. What else could you possibly need from me?"

"Your home, was there anything left?"

"No."

"You lost everyone?"

"How callus can you be?" I countered with disdain.

"I don't mean to be callus. I simply wish to learn about what you've been through so I can help you move forward." He replied.

"Everyone is dead." I told him. "Everyone! They killed my family and I killed them."

"Simple as that?"

"Simple as that."

He nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?"

"I'm sure." I told him and let myself out, pushing past both the man and Karen.

"Hey, wait up." Karen said following me.

Ignoring her, I returned to my task of examining the fence. But I wasn't alone long. Karen followed me closely, though she didn't say anything, she simply walked with me while I looked at the wall. Occasionally I bent down and examined something, making several loops before I walked to the middle of the town and started to watch. Karen stood with me, watching both me and the people around me, gesturing when they came to close or saying something very nonchalant but seemed to say more than face value.

"Are you my babysitter or something?" I finally asked her.

"The Governor wants to make sure you're taken care of." She nodded.

Scoffing, I smiled at her, "Sounds more like he wants me dead."

"It's still a little chilly. Do you want a jacket or anything?"

"No."

"What are you doing?" She asked.

There was a long pause before I replied, "Watching."

"For what?"

When I didn't say anything, she just stood there. People here were acting like the world hadn't fallen apart. The apocalypse never happened here. They were clearly delusional, walking around and talking to people like they were simply neighbors. They were cooking on grills and kids were playing in the streets. There were dogs barking and laughter. Nothing about this felt right. Nothing at all.

"Taking it all in?" The man from earlier said stepping up to me.

Karen had excused herself, finally leaving me alone. Only that hadn't last long. I clenched my jaw, the force of it hurting. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to get to know anyone. I didn't want to be here.

"Not much of a talker, are you?" He asked as he crossed his arms, looking at the town with me. Sighing, I turned, watching a different direction. He turned with me. "You might want to rethink that." He went on. "The Big Man doesn't like it when he doesn't get what he wants."

"Not my problem." I stated emotionlessly.

He chuckled and moved in front of me, making me frown at him. "Is your story so bad?"

"And you are?" I countered.

"Caesar." He replied holding out his hand. "Martinez."

Looking at his hand, I met his eyes with a heavy frown, keeping my arms crossed as I started observing again, turning away from him to change my angle. He shifted with me, looking out over his home.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked. I didn't say anything. "You can't keep the silent treatment going forever." He added, getting only silence in return. "Alright." He said and nodded at his home. "Well, have fun."

He walked away, making me feel a little bit more relaxed now that I was alone. I would appear that I wasn't going anywhere so it wasn't necessary to have someone constantly standing with me. I wasn't stupid enough to do anything rash. At least not right now. If I thought too much I just felt weak, making me want to curl up right here and once again grieve my family. I had to wait. I had to know more about this place before I made my escape. But it'd barely been a day. And I was so goddamn tired. So tired that I'd give the Governor his three days and then I'd leave. He couldn't keep me here.

When dusk arrived, I was still standing there, listening to the town. At some point, a golden retriever came and sat with me, watching until it was called away. Though I hadn't acknowledged it much. Mozzie was dead and even touching another dog right now made me want to breakdown.

"Hey." Karen said stepping back up to me.

"Hey." I told her.

"You hungry yet?" She asked.

Looking at her, I nodded, "Yeah, I am."

She smiled and motioned to follow her. We were nearly too where the apartments were when a man stepped out in front of us. I frowned and took a step back while Karen smiled at him.

"Milton."

"Hello." He told her.

"What can we do for you?"

"Milton." He said holding his hand out to me. Nodding at him, my arms were still crossed. "Not very friendly, is she?" He said to Karen.

"She's fine." Karen smiled. "What do you need?"

"The Governor would like her to join him for dinner."

"No." I stated.

"It wasn't really a request." Milton stated.

Laughing, I walked around him, following the path we'd taken to the room he was providing. Going inside, I shut and locked the door. Standing in front of it, I waited. I knew that something was going to happen. Someone was going to show up and ruin my night. Only the longer it took the more relaxed I became. That was when the knock came.

"Who is it?" I called out.

"Karen."

"And?"

I could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, "And I'm alone."

Opening the door, she stepped in with a plate of food. Looking at it, I couldn't have been more excited for it. Trying not to seem too eager, I took it and retreated to the couch. Sitting down, I picked up the fork and started to devour the food. A nice steak with mashed potatoes and green beans.

As soon as it was gone, I felt exhausted. I hadn't done anything all day except for standing and watching and yet I felt like I'd been doing manual labor through the entire day. Looking up at Karen, I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes. She sighed and sat on the coffee table, putting her hand on my knee.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked me softly.

I shook my head, "No. And yes." She smiled and nodded at me. "I was protecting them." I told her shaking my head again. "I've been protecting them. Ben would have died without me because he was too kind and trusting. Hannah was too young and naïve. She didn't know what this world was like. And Moz…" I said and trailed off.

"Moz?" She asked gently.

I smiled at her, "My dog."

"Ah." She smiled.

Taking a deep steadying breath, I wiped the tears from my cheeks, "He was my best friend. I'd met him at the clinic I worked at. His owners never came back for him and I couldn't leave the animals in their kennels so we let them out. And he never left me." I told her before my tears came back full force. "Now he's gone. They are all gone. They're dead and I wasn't there. I should have let the two of them go. I should have let them go and I should have gone back to the cabin. I should have been with Ben. I should have been with him. He needed me and I wasn't there." I rambled as I started to sob. "I loved him. I loved his daughter. I loved my dog. I loved all of them and now they're all dead."

"Caroline." She said softly.

"Oh God, Ben." I said and the sobbing started full force, shaking taking me over. "Ben! I'm so sorry! Hannah! Mozzie!" It hurt. "Oh God!"

"Caroline." She repeated as she sat next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I sobbed as I dropped my head into my hands.

Pulling me against her, she held me as I sobbed into her, grieving my family. Finding myself laying in her lap, she ran her hand down my hair, gently rubbing my back as I continued to cry, feeling like they would never stop. Even when I started to drift off, tears fell freely, soaking into her jeans.

When I woke up, I was still laying on the edge of the bed, but was now alone. Getting up, I ran my fingers through my hair, taking a deep breath. My eyes felt puffy and sore. Going to the bathroom, I peed before taking in my reflection as I washed my hands. Gripping the front of the sink, I sighed as I took in the red rims of my eyes, the paleness of my skin. I looked like shit. Raising a brow at myself, I turned and went back into the bedroom, just standing there as I looked around, trying to decide what to do.

Going to the door, I stared at it for a long moment, putting my hand on and off the knob. Finally opening it, I stood there for another long moment before stepping out. Going down to the main road, I stood there and watched as people passed me by. Everyone smiled or waved or said hello. But I just stood and watched before moving down an alley and once again started to walk the fence.

It was quite for a while when someone fell in step next to me. Looking up, I scoffed and shook my head. The Governor was stoic as he walked with me, not saying anything, not even looking at me. Not wanting to say anything to him either, I kept walking. I told him I'd give him three days. Today was day two. All I had to do was make it through the day the night and by tomorrow night I'd be gone again.

"I'm surprised to see you out." He told me. "I thought you'd want to lock yourself away for a while."

"Moving makes me dwell less." I replied.

"I am very sorry for your loss." He stated.

Nodding, I looked up at him, "Thank you."

"I'm going to ask something of you. You don't have to answer right away, but I'd like you to think on it." He told me.

Stopping, I frowned up at him, crossing my arms, "Okay?"

"First, I'd love for you to accompany me outside the walls."

"Why?"

"So you can show me what you can do." He smirked.

"No." I told him coldly before starting to walk again.

He swiftly followed me, "Oh, come on. Humor me."

Stopping again, I spun and faced him, "I should have died out there. I was going to die until your men found me. Thank you for that. But that is where all this ends. I am not going to stay here, Governor. I don't belong in a cage. I need to be out there doing what I do best." I finished and moved away from him again.

"And what's that?" He called after me. Stopping for a third time, I turned to him. "What is it that you do best?"

"I kill people." I replied nonchalantly.

"Exactly." He smiled at me.

"What?" I frowned at him.

He stepped up to me, "I need someone who can do the hard things. I need someone who won't hesitate to kill those who threaten the security that I've worked so hard to build. So, I'm asking you to show me what you can do."

"You want me to work for you?" I frowned at him.

He nodded, "More or less."

"And in return I get a nice apartment, three meals a day, a shower, a home, people?"

"That and more." He nodded. "You could have a life here. All you have to do is say yes."

Keeping his eyes for a long moment, I turned and walked away from him, "I'll think about it."

"Come have lunch with me." He called.

"Fine." I replied.

Making my rounds, I ended up back at apartment number 7, pacing its floor as I tried to wrap my head around everything that had happened. I lost my family, my dog, my home, my sense of security. Not that I needed any of that to survive. I could survive. I'd taught myself how to survive. But it was worthless if I was alone. I didn't want to be alone. Not anymore.

When noon came, I made my way toward the Governor's apartment. Being let inside, he was sitting at the table, two plates already set with a sandwich and fruit already prepared. Keeping a close eye on him, I sat down. He smiled and motioned toward the plate.

"Please. Eat." He told me kindly. Nodding, I was starving, forcing myself to take small bites so I could still watch him. "You still don't trust me, do you?"

"No." I replied.

"But you're considering my offer." He added.

"Yes." I added before devouring the rest of the sandwich. Picking up the fork, I started to eat the fruit, still feeling paranoid. "We gonna leave after lunch?"

He nodded, "If that works for you."

"It does." I nodded. "I have nothing better to do."

"Grieving is something to do." He replied softly. "You're allowed to grieve your family."

"I know." I told him. "I've cried for them. I'll probably cry some more. But nothing I do will bring them back. What I can do is stop it from happening to anyone else."

"Other people." He said quietly.

" _People_ killed my family. I no longer have any qualms with killing other people. It's a necessity. I thought I could stop thinking that way when I met Ben. Turns out I was wrong. People came and people killed my people. The dead I can handle. You can predict the dead. But the living? They can't be trusted."

"If they can't be trusted, how can I trust you not to kill me and everyone here?"

"I will kill. But I also know that I don't want to be alone. I have to trust someone. I'll just be _extremely_ careful about it."

"You can trust me." He smiled.

"No, I can't. But you're the leader here."

"So you'll put up with me?"

"So I'll respect your position. After that I hold no trust toward you."

He looked at me for a long moment before he nodded, "I accept that."

"Good." I told him with a raised brow.

As soon as we were done eating, we left his apartment and made our way toward the gates. Stopping at the armory, Martinez was there, seemingly ready and waiting for us. He looked angry about something. I wasn't sure if that was because the Governor was recruiting me or if that was just the way he was.

"Hand her the gun." The Governor told him.

He sighed and handed me the hand gun. Dropping the mag, I checked it, shoving it back into the gun, checked the chamber and the safety before putting it in the back of my pants. The Governor simply smiled at me while Martinez how held a more curious look than anything. Raising a brow, I moved toward the gate. We were all let out; the trio of us walking down the street as if we were simply out for a morning jaunt. Though we all knew better and I couldn't look around fast enough to make sure no walkers were slinking toward us without us knowing. If we were caught in the middle of a herd, we'd be in trouble.

"This way." The Governor told me going down a beaten path. "We came across this on one of our excursions. It's served us well as a place to practice without drawing any unwanted attention to Woodbury."

We'd already been walking for the better part of an hour. Once we took the path it was easily another half hour before the trees gave way to a field. There were already a string of targets that were lined up. They looked military based, though I didn't know if that was right or not. Not that it mattered. They would serve their purpose one way or another.

"Alright, show me what you've got." The Governor told me.

Sighing, I moved to the middle target, stepping back until I was several yards away. I'd never been good at telling distance so I went as far as I could to feel like I'd show him something he wanted to see. Taking my stance, I took a deep breath, letting it out as I started firing, hitting each target down the entire line. Looking at the men, they still looked expectant. Martinez motioned to follow him, which I did reluctantly, being led to a small cart that had metal targets on it. He hit something and they started to rock back and forth. Sighing, I raised the gun and started to shoot. Hitting all the targets, I stopped and opened my arms questioningly at the two men.

"Almost." The Governor told me.

"What else then?" I shot at him.

Martinez raised a brow at me, "Can you hit a target on the run?"

Sighing, I dropped my chin against my chest before looking at them, rolling my shoulders, I nodded. "Go stand by the other targets."

They looked at each other before they walked away. Waiting a few minutes, I rolled my neck and shoulders some more, wanting to loosen up. I hated tests and this was stupid. I could shoot the damn gun. But now I had to prove it. Breaking into a run, I brought the gun up as I neared the targets, hitting them as I passed; shooting from over my shoulder as I hit them again. Stopping, I turned and walked back to the men, raising a brow at them.

"Satisfied? Or do I have to show you that I can do it while hitting a moving target?"

"No. No, I think we saw what we needed to." The Governor told me.

"Good." I replied. "Now what?"

The Governor was all smiles, "I'll let you know when we have the next mission."

I nodded, "Fine." I said and moved back toward the gates.

Being let in, I went straight toward my apartment, only to hear steps swiftly coming up behind me. Sighing, I stopped and turned, seeing Martinez smiling at me. He looked far too happy and I did not feel like dealing with him right now. I was perfectly okay with going and wallowing in my grief.

"What can I do for you?" I asked him.

"Just wanted to know if you wanted to grab lunch." He replied.

"No." I told him and went inside.

Going to the door, I stared at the shiny number 7; knowing that this was pure luck and yet felt like I was betraying the family I'd lost. Finally going in, I locked the door and walked straight to the bed, falling on top of it. Staring at the ceiling, I wasn't sure if I needed to sleep or cry or yell. All I knew was that I needed something to make me feel better. Killing people probably wasn't the best therapy but at least it would be something to fill my days.

By dinner time, I'd been alone for several hours, having done everything I could think of to feel better. Crying seemed to do the trick, though after I while I found that there was such a thing as enough, settling on just lying there in a pit of my own misery. I shouldn't have left him in the cabin. I should have stayed with him. But I was afraid. I was afraid that if we let them go then they would return with even more and we'd all die. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Oh how wrong I had been.

At some point someone came and knocked on the door, but after several minutes of ignoring them, they finally left. Skipping dinner all together, I slept on and off until the sky started to lighten. Getting up, I once again left the apartment and started to walk the perimeter, still looking at anything and everything, planning any escape that I might need to make. But the more I looked the more I realized that there really wasn't a flaw that I could use to my benefit. And really, all I wanted to do was walk and think and just…be. I still wanted to leave. I still didn't want to be here. At the same time, the Governor had done a decent job at giving me a reason to stay. As good a reason as anyone. He was right when he said that I wasn't afraid of doing what I had to do. If it kept me fed and sheltered, I guess it was the best offer I'd received in this godforsaken world. If I was going to die, I might as well go down fighting.


	6. Indifference

**Hello all! Sorry this is a day late. I have no good excuse. ; )  
I haven't had much feedback for this so far so I hope you all are enjoying it! I do not update based on reviews or anything so I'll be posting weekly regardless! It may have started off a little different or slow but I guarantee that it will get more exciting and give it just a few more chapters and the characters we know and love will appear and all hell will break loose like it always does.**

 **Thank you so much for reading!**

 ** **ENJOY!****

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Indifference**

The sun was only half raised as I lay in bed. Thinking about Ben and Hannah and Mozzie. Only I didn't think about them as often as I used to. As often as I felt like I should. They deserved to be thought of at all hours of the day. They deserved to be remembered because it was my fault that they were dead. It was my fault that I let my guard down and got comfortable and fell in love. It happened and then I let them down by leaving them behind and they were killed because of it. They were killed and I was still alive. I was alive and they were dead.

"I'm alive and they're dead." I whispered out loud.

"What, baby?"

Rolling over, I looked at Caesar, taking in his relaxed, unshaven face. Leaning in, I kissed him softly, "Nothing."

Rolling out of bed, I changed into a sports bra and sweats before throwing on a tank as I left the room. He wasn't fazed by my departure. It had become a normal morning routine. I needed something to loosen me up in the mornings. Sometimes we made love in the morning. Sometimes I ran. Today was the latter. I needed to be in motion. I needed to have my surroundings a blur around me. To top it off, I had the earbuds pressed into my ears, classic rock blaring into them, motivating me to keep moving.

After several laps, I finally slowed, walking nearly another lap before I finally made my way back home. I was partially aware of the muffled voice that seemed to be following me. Purposely ignoring them, I was nearly to the door to the apartment building when my shoulder was grabbed. Not hard, but it was annoying as all hell. I thought I'd made my stand on community very clear.

"What?" I said and pulled the buds from my ears, turning to see the Governor. He raised a brow at me. I just shrugged at him, "What?"

"I thought you might join me for breakfast." He replied.

Laughing, I turned and went back inside. Going into my apartment, my bed was empty and I could hear the shower running. Stripping, I went into the bathroom and let myself through the curtain. Caesar smiled as he turned to me, taking me in his arms as his hands ran up and down my back. Not smiling back, I started to kiss him, pressing myself against him as the water flowed over us. I let him make love to me. It was hot and wet and satisfying. And it didn't do a damn thing for me. It was nothing more than a distraction. It was something to fill my days and my nights.

It.

It was Caesar.

Caesar Martinez was sharing my bed at night and was at my side during the day. It seemed like I spent more time with Caesar than I ever did with Ben. And it was empty. Every moment I spent with him was filled with empty moments and empty touches and kisses and sex. All of it was empty. But there were moments where I would feel fulfilled. Moments where I wouldn't feel as empty as I was.

I hated those moments.

Meeting Karen for lunch, she was the only other person I let myself get even remotely close to. She knew me better than anyone here and that wasn't saying a lot. I shared the absolute bare minimum. Shared just enough to get her to shut up. Caesar didn't care as much about the details. He cared more about how often I opened my legs for him. The only person that my silence seemed to piss off was the Governor. I was the stray he took in and wanted to use as a weapon.

That's exactly was I was now. A weapon. I was a rabid dog that could take down whatever prey you unleashed me on. That was what he wanted. He wanted a monster to do all his dirty work. And I would do it. For some godforsaken reason I wanted to survive. I couldn't even tell you why. I'd lost everything. I had nothing left to live for and yet…I didn't want to die.

So other than the release that killing gave me – that the Governor gave me – I wanted nothing to do with him. I wanted the missions he gave me. I wanted the thrill of the hunt. I wanted revenge for my family and if it took the Governor and his beliefs to get me there, then I would do it. I would do whatever the fuck he wanted me to. As long as I got to feel that high. The high of killing those who would just kill whoever came next. Those who stole and killed and raped and tortured.

I'd kill them all.

"You seem quieter than usual today." Karen stated.

"Mm." I replied, staring at my plate.

"You love the omelets." She stated.

"I do." I nodded, finally smiling at her as I started to eat. "I love a good omelet."

She smiled, "I was worried there for a second. That last little "spell" you had lasted over a week."

"No one said grieving was easy." I told her.

She nodded, "I know. I remember."

Sighing, I nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know." She smiled. "And I know that you lost those you cared about. I know that you feel alone. But you're not alone. You have people now."

"I had people before." I shot at her. "People I wanted. I was taken captive here. I was taken from the woods where I should have died and I was brought here against my will. The Governor just expected me to work for my keep and I will. But it's not what I want. Not really."

"Then what do you want?" She asked. I opened my mouth to reply; only she held up her hand, not letting me say anything. "Other than the family you lost. They're gone, Caroline. There is no getting them back. You need to move on. So tell me what you need to help you move on. What will help take the pain away?"

"I might have an idea." Caesar said interrupting us. He leaned down and kissed me sweetly. "Hey."

"Hey." I smiled at him.

"The Governor has summoned us." He told me.

I nodded, "You go ahead. I won't be more than a few minutes." As soon as he was out of earshot, I sighed and looked at Karen. "I know."

"I know you know." She smiled. "But he's going to fall for you and you're going to break his little heart."

I smiled and shrugged a little, "It'll be fun while it lasts."

Getting up, I put my hand on her shoulder before going off toward the armory. Caesar and the Governor were already talking it out. Whatever this mission was. So when I stepped up to them, they there doing that stupid nodding thing before they stopped talking both of them turned their heads to look at me.

"So, what's the mission?" I asked.

"We have a few disgruntled survivors." The Governor told me.

"Disgruntled survivors?" I frowned. "Like from the outside?"

He nodded, "Yes."

"How did they get in?"

"We're not really sure." He replied. "But they did and were caught stealing from our pantry."

"How much did they take?"

"Enough." Caesar told me.

Nodding, I held out my hand. He smiled and put a gun into it. "Then I guess we go get it back." I told them, smirking up at the Governor.

"Send her out." The Governor said as he stared at me.

Laughing lightly, I cocked my gun, looking at Martinez before we moved toward the gate.

Being let out, we started to move into the woods. They wouldn't get far. Hearing the cracking of branches, they were stupid enough to think that circling round would be a smart way to avoid us. However, that was not the case. Darting to the left, they were starting to run down the length of the wall. Smiling, I stopped and took my aim. Letting off the shot, they fell forward, screaming as they held their calf, blood already spilling through their fingers. Slowly walking forward, I waited until the two others came back for him, audibly cocking the gun again, aiming it at them.

"We're sorry." One told me, raising their hands.

"I'm sure you are."

"We didn't mean any harm. We were starving." Another told me.

"What did you think was going to happen?" I asked them. "The world has gone to shit and you think stealing other peoples' food wouldn't end like this?"

"You got 'em." Martinez told me.

"Get the food." I told Shumpert and Crowley. They stepped forward and confiscated the stolen goods. "Now then…" I said and smirked at them.

"What are you gonna do?" One of the men asked.

"I know what the Governor told me to do." I smirked.

The color drained from their faces. Looking at Martinez, he nodded and raised his gun, then both of us shot them. We ended their lives with bullets to the head. Looking at Martinez again, he was grinning at me, nodding with satisfaction. Smiling back, I put my gun into the back of my pants and headed back to the gates.

"Nice work."

"Thank you, Caesar."

He grinned at me again, "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. No one but my mama calls me Caesar."

Grinning back, I just shrugged, "Your mama and me."

He laughed, "Alright. I guess I can live with that."

"Good. Because there's no stopping me."

He just smiled and I swore I could see a blush in his cheeks. Feeling guilty, I smiled back but it was completely for show. Not nearly enough time had passed since I'd lost my family. But starting something would definitely take my mind off of them. Off of everything.

Being let back into the community, I made my way back toward my apartment, but before I could get there, The Governor was moving toward me. He had that stupid smile on his face and that walk that was so fake to me that I just wanted to mock him. I didn't like him. The only reason I'd stayed was for the security until I could pull myself back together. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to leave. I'd grown accustomed to having people around me. I liked people. Just not all of them. And despite how fast I could blow them away.

"How'd it go?" The Governor asked.

"Fine." I nodded.

"She caught them. Lured them in and blew them away." Caesar added.

The Governor smiled, "Nice work."

Bile rose in my throat, "It had to be done. And I had help."

"She's impressive." Caesar went on.

"Stop." I told him. "Anything else?"

"No." The Governor told me.

Nodding, I moved around him, walking as quickly as possible until I was inside my apartment. Putting my gun underneath my pillow, I laid down, staring at the ceiling. People were so accommodating here but they had no idea what sacrifices were being made without their knowledge. They didn't know what happened in the woods when we left. They didn't know what their beloved Governor was capable of.

When dinner rolled around, I finally left the confines of my apartment. Going downstairs, I stepped out into the street, turning toward Karen's apartment. About halfway there I saw her walking toward me as well. Smiling, I nodded and stopped in front of her.

"Great minds think alike." She grinned at me.

Laughing lightly, I nodded at her, "Yes they do. You and I probably have the greatest minds in this goddamn place."

"I'd disagree." A voice interjected. Karen and I both turned and looked at Milton. "Hello." He smiled.

"Hello." I replied.

"What can we do for you?" Karen asked as she gently nudged me.

Clearing my throat, I crossed my arms but smirked. "Yes, what can we do for you?"

"I was simply wondering if you'd had dinner yet." He replied sheepishly.

Laughing lightly, I shook my head, "I haven't, but you do know that I've been seeing Caesar."

"Yes. But I'm also aware that the relationship doesn't mean anything to you." He commented.

Frowning, I nodded at him, "No relationship will mean anything to me for a long time."

He nodded, smiling, "I know."

Then he walked away.

"What the fuck was that about?" I asked Karen.

She nudged me again, "He has a thing for you."

Rolling my eyes, I started to walk again, "Not happening. Not ever."

"I know." She replied. "But it's adorable."

"I'm just a new toy that everyone wants to play with."

"And yet Martinez gets to." She commented.

Laughing, I nodded, "He gets to play because I need some sort of distraction. He's in the higher ranks of the Governor's men. He might be useful to me."

"Wow." She told me. "Manipulating the Governor."

"No. I simply want to survive."

"Do you?" She asked gently. I turned my head and frowned at her. "You lost everything. It would only be natural for you to want to see it all end."

I nodded, "I did want it all to end. I wanted to die. I would have if it hadn't been for the Governor. I figure that's a sign of some sort. Death is the easy way out and I have never done the easy thing. I left my family behind to pursue a career in Atlanta. I worked hard for everything I had. I'll do it again."

She nodded, "Agreed."

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" An odd male voice said from behind us.

I turned my head to see who it was, the voice unfamiliar, only Karen took my arm, "Keep walking."

"Who is it?" I asked her.

"Merle Dixon." She told me softly.

Then the voice was speaking again. It sounded too high to be a man's and was scratchy like he'd been yelling too much. It was kind of grating on the ears. An annoying buzzing sound that didn't seem to end.

"I don't think I've seen you here before."

"Keep walking." Karen told me.

"We really don't like him." I smirked at her.

She smiled back at me, "We really don't."

"Hey!" He yelled. "I'm talking to you!"

Karen gave me a wary look as I stiffened. Smiling at her, I stopped, and turned toward the man, nearly making him hit me. Taking him in for the first time. The smell was the first thing I noticed. Then it was the blue of his eyes, the scruffiness of his face, the winkles etched in his skin. He was easily late forties to early fifties. His brown hair was mostly grey now and he was actually rather homely. Not to mention he was missing his right hand, being replaced with a very homemade looking metal contraption. Though at the moment it was sporting a long blade with blood caked onto it.

"I have ears. I heard you. I simply don't respond to a man's voice when it sounds like he's looking at fresh meat." I told him coolly.

"I am." He smirked before licking his top lip. "And it's a fine looking piece of meat."

"Don't make me vomit." I smirked back. "Dog."

Turning to walk away from him, he gripped my arm and spun me around and into him. "Now that wasn't very ladylike."

"It wasn't?" I said feigning ignorance. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I'll try again." I told him before growing serious. "I find you very unattractive and your voice is grating on the ears." I stated before gripping his shirt, straightening it. "Now than, clean yourself the fuck up and leave us the hell alone. You'll never find a woman in this world with the way you smell. It might be the end of the world but taking pride in oneself is still something one ought to do." Smiling, I slapped his cheek harder than I had to, turning and walking away from him.

Winking at Karen, we continued on our way, getting ourselves some dinner. Waiting in line with all the others, we took our steak, potato, and vegetable, sitting at one of the outside tables by the grills. Talking about nothing in particular, I couldn't help but feel a little bit better with a little confrontation in my life. Before long, Caesar appeared, getting food and joining us. We laughed and shared food, actually enjoying each other's company and what Woodbury had to offer. It was a nice distraction. At the same time a reminder of what those I loved would never have. I wasn't happy but I wasn't as sad anymore either. I was simply a body in motion, doing what bodies in motion are supposed to do.

Sleep.

Smile.

Laugh.

Fight.

Eat.

Love.

Kill.

Something like that…


	7. Butting Heads

**Chapter Seven: Butting Heads**

Sitting on a fallen tree in the woods, I listened to it come alive, unable to stop a smile from crossing my face. This was how I had started this new world. In the woods. A place that almost made you think that the world wasn't lost. I forgot how peaceful it was to be alone with nature. At the same time it didn't take long for me to remember the loneliness of it as well. I had no dog panting or sniffing around. I didn't have a nice solitary cabin with a handsome man or a five year old distracting me.

Hearing rustling, I knew my small amount of alone time was over. Pulling out my gun, slowly, I waited for them to make their move. It was amazing what you picked up when you were on your own for so long. The difference in the weight of a footfall. Whether it was human or animal or walker. The difference between a bird and a squirrel. They were subtle but once you knew them it was unmistakable.

It took several minutes before a woman slowly stepped from the woods. Her clothes were in shambles and her hair was greasy with leaves and grass caught in it. Her skin was ashen, her lips dry and cracked. She looked like one of them but she was alive. Though she was clearly on the verge of death. That meant she was desperate, meaning she was completely unpredictable.

"Do you have any food?" She asked.

"I don't." I told her.

"But you look normal. You must live somewhere around here. Do you have a group?" She asked next.

"I'm not going to tell you anything." I smiled as I slowly shook my head.

She pulled a knife from her waist. I couldn't help but gawk at it. There was intricate engraving on it that held the eye.

"What are you looking at?" The woman frowned at me.

"I like your knife." I stated. "Can I have it?"

"No." She replied but was shaking. Smiling, I stood up and slowly stepped toward her. "Stop." I just laughed lightly and kept moving forward. "I said stop." She said as she pressed the tip of it into my stomach.

"I dare you." I told her. "Go ahead and kill me."

"What?" She told me with shock.

She looked like she was going to throw up. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't. She didn't have the stomach to kill anyone. She was a useless human in a world that was going to chew her up and spit her out. She was emaciated and stunk and was missing teeth. She was never going to survive in this world.

Sighing, I relaxed a little, "You can't do it, can you?"

"Step back." She replied, her shaking intensifying.

Nodding, I offered her a small smile. "This is for your own good." I told her.

"What is?"

"You don't need to suffer like this."

"What are you talking about?" She asked as she started to step away from me.

Gripping her wrist, I tore the knife from it, spinning it and swiftly thrust it up under her chin, stabbing her brain. For a moment there was a shocked look on her face, but it quickly disappeared as she relaxed. Pulling the knife free, I looked at it, cleaning it in the grass. Smiling slightly at the carving along the blade, I turned and started to head back toward Woodbury's gates.

I'd only gone a few feet when I stopped, a slow clap filling the silence of the wood. Gripping the hilt of the knife, I was ready for whoever she had had with her. Whoever thought that they stood a chance. Only then I was filled with disappointment as the clapper turned out to be Merle.

"What the fuck do you want?" I shot at him and kept walking.

"Nice going, sugar tits." He replied as he fell in step behind me. Turning, I punched him hard across the jaw, forcing him to his knees. Moving away from him, I heard him laughing. "I like your spice!"

"Go fuck yourself, Dog." I shot over my shoulder. He jogged after me. "Get the hell away from me before I stab you in your deflated beer belly."

He laughed again, "I like your spirit."

"Get the fuck away from me." I told him.

"Why are you hanging out with Martinez? I'm sure I could make you scream in ways you'd never believe."

Taking his legs out from under him, he hit the ground with enough force to knock the air from his lungs. Leaving him behind, he was laughing again, pissing me the hell off. Passing through the gates, I kept looking over my shoulder for him. Moving toward my apartment, I saw Caesar walking toward me and I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I smiled at him.

He picked up my hand that was still gripping the knife. Looking down, I saw the blood that was covering it. "What's this?"

"I ran into someone in the woods." I stated.

"And?" He frowned.

I smiled and held up my hand, "I won."

Keeping moving, he wrapped his arm around me before asking again, "You okay?"

"I'm good." I told him.

"Wanna get some food?"

"Yeah." I smiled at him.

Spending the rest of day with him and the few that followed, a routine was starting to form. Sitting on my bed, I was writing in my notepad, my own personal memoir. My own World War Z. It was extremely inconsequential but it might come in useful someday. To someone. Not that it would hold the secrets that would end the apocalypse but it would definitely be helpful for survival. Since I was surviving. I seemed to be good at surviving. It was a completely different story for those who entered my life.

When my wrist was cramping and I needed a change of scenery, I started my usual walking of the walls. Nothing had changed and yet I still felt the need to make sure I had a plan for the moment I ever decided to leave. I'd thrown myself in with the Governor, but if I wanted to leave I sure as hell wasn't going to let him stop me.

"Out for a walk?" Caesar said falling in step with me.

"I like to walk." I told him.

"I know." He nodded. "Though that's one of the only things I know about you."

"Stop." I frowned.

He sighed, scratching his cheek, "It's been weeks and –"

"And it's been fun." I told him. "Don't ruin the fun, Caesar."

Then we both stopped as another man stepped in front of us. "Merle." Caesar said with mild annoyance.

"Whenever you're ready to get rid of her, I'll be happy to take her off your hands." Merle told him.

Scoffing, I shook my head, "Get out of here, Dog."

He smiled but I knew he didn't like the name I'd given him. "I bet I'd be more fun."

"I like my level of fun." I told him. "And Caesar is twice the man you are in every possible way."

Merle looked at me evilly, keeping the smile on his face as he walked away. I didn't believe that Caesar was that amazing but if it pissed Merle off I didn't give a shit. Caesar seemed pleased with my words and if it made him happy then maybe he would stop trying to get to know me.

"Ready for tonight?" He asked as we kept walking.

"I guess." I replied. "I still think it's a weird way to let off steam."

"It is." He replied. "But it's important for the balance in Woodbury."

"If people knew what was out there they wouldn't need to let off steam. They would go out there and protect the town or simply be happy with the safety that the Governor has provided. You all are untouched here. They don't know what's out there. Or who. Everyone here is blind to the way the world is now and that will never stop bugging me." I rambled.

He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me against his side, "You're weird."

Frowning, I wanted to pull away from him, but that would lead to a talk I just didn't want to have. I'd let him have that one. If being practical and knowledgeable about the world we lived in made me weird than fine. I was weird.

We went and got food, sitting outside and people watching a bit. But he kept trying to pry into my life. Asking me questions that I just didn't feel like answering. I wasn't talking about anything personal. I'd tell him how I managed to survive but I always kept it vague. I wasn't here to make friends or make a new family. I was here to survive. That was what I did best. I'd do what I had to do but in the end that's what it was about. Me surviving.

Convincing him to go back to his apartment, all conversation halted as we fooled around, waiting for night to fall and the games to begin. I wasn't remotely looking forward to it. It seemed like a stupid way to let people get a release. But staying here meant I participated with everything.

"Hey." Karen said as I Caesar and I walked into the arena.

Caesar pulled me closer against him, kissing me sweetly, "I'll see you after."

"Yeah." I smiled, watching him walk away.

"You ready for this?" Karen asked.

Scoffing, I nodded at him, "I guess so."

"Maybe Merle will die." She smirked.

That brightened me up a bit. "If Dog bites it that would definitely make my day."

She just laughed and we found seats toward the top of the bleachers. The fact that something like this even existed was a bit of a miracle. If it weren't for them using Walkers against our own, I might actually not mind. But using them for entertainment wasn't right.

"Alright, who's ready to see a fight?!" The Governor called out to the crowd. "Who's ready to see a battle of life and death?!"

The crowd erupted, all on their feet and ready for the fight. Getting to mine, I looked around, watching as four walkers were brought forward, each being chained to some mechanism. Then Merle and Caesar stepped forward. Merle's name was being chanted. Caesar's as well but it was obvious who the crowd favorite was.

"Don't worry about him." Karen told me.

"I'm not." I replied.

She just smiled at me. But I honestly wasn't worried. If he died than he died. It wouldn't mean the end for me. I'd already survived a death I didn't think I would. But I did. Ben was dead and if I could live through his death than I could definitely live through Caesar's. I'd just find someone else to warm my bed. Another distraction.

The Governor started the fight and I watched as Merle swung his blade at Caesar. It wasn't necessarily a hard thing to watch but as their hits found purchase against each other, Caesar looked to be at the losing end. He was knocked down more often than not, blood being spilt from both of them. Caesar was knocked to the ground, a walker nearly making it on top of him, but Merle spared his life, killing it before it could kill him. Caesar stayed on the ground, frowning as he breathed hard. Merle just smiled before he dispatched the other three, claiming his victory as he threw his arms into the air.

"It's fixed you know." Karen told me.

"I know." I nodded. "Caesar told me. Though I don't know why they want Dog to win so much."

She just smiled and shook her head at me, "It was a good fight."

"It was." I admitted. "Nothing like the two right-hand men fighting against each other."

"At least they're both alive." The person on my other side told me.

"Sure." I nodded before moving down the bleachers.

The crowd was already dispersing. It was a lot of build up for just a few minutes of release. But it seemed to do the trick. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves, goods being exchanged from bets that had been made. It pissed me off. I may not be the best person in the world but I respected the dead and what they could do. They had no place being purposely put in with the living.

"Hey." I said to Caesar. "You okay?"

He smirked at me, still breathing hard, "Yeah, baby, I'm good."

Smiling, I wrapped my arm around him. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"Still going for the losers." Merle stated stepping toward us.

Glaring at him, I kept walking, though he fell in step on my other side. "Why do you insist on annoying the shit out of me?" I asked him. "Go away."

"Gotta take care of your _man_?"

"Merle, enough." Caesar told him before smirking. "I got the girl, let it go."

"I didn't get a chance to try."

Laughing, I let Caesar go and swiftly punched Merle in the face, "Begging dogs get beat. Now go away."

Caesar laughed, taking my waist and leading me away before I could do anything else. I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I wanted to do something horrible to him and I would take pleasure in it.

Going back to his apartment, we took a shower together so I could clean him up, letting him have his way with me, still invigorated from the fight. After, I made sure to treat all his wounds, chitchatting over a beer before he was practically falling asleep sitting up. Putting him to bed, I sat with him for a little while longer before I finally left.

I was halfway home when I heard something banging against the wall. Moving toward it, putting my hand against the metal, the banging continued. It was rhythmic. Then the sound of it filtered through. The low airy growls of a hungry walker. Sighing, I moved back toward the gates, seeing Greg and Paul on top of it keeping watch.

"Hey, guys." I called up to them.

They turned toward me, Paul smirking, "Caroline."

"What can we do for you?" Greg asked.

"I heard a walker on the other side of the wall. Have there been many out there?"

"No." Greg said shaking his head.

"There's been a few but nothing we can't handle." Paul added.

Nodding, I smiled up at them, "Mind if I go take care of it?"

Paul said 'not at all' while Greg was quick to say 'no'. I simply smiled, climbing up onto the wall and jumped down the other side. Paul told me to be careful while Greg's heavy sigh couldn't be missed. Pulling my knife from its sheath attached to my thigh, I took in the engraving, perfectly happy with my newest possession. Walking around the corner of the wall, I saw the walker banging against the wall is it slid itself against it. Nonchalantly stepping up behind it, I stabbed it through the base of its skull. It fell forward and I couldn't help but smile, cleaning the blade before turning back to the gate.

I'd only taken a few steps when I was sidelined, my head being slammed into the wall. Falling to my stomach, I looked up, narrowly missing a blade coming down onto my back as I rolled, pressing myself against the wall. I felt it slide through my shirt, a small amount of pain accompanying it.

Looking up, I couldn't help the anger that started to flood me, "Dog."

"Stop calling me that you mad bitch!" He yelled and attempted stab me again.

Avoiding it again, I took out his legs before getting back onto my feet. I could feel blood running down the side of my face. I touched my stomach, bringing my hand back to see a small amount of blood. It had been close. Looking at him as he got to his feet, I picked up my knife, ready to fucking run him through.

Laughing, I shook my head at him, "But that's what you are. You're a dog who has been trained very well by his master."

He lunged at me, making me leap backward, pulling in my center to avoid the blade. Laughing again, I circled him, watching as he got more pissed off. He tried twice more before I finally managed to punch him, swiping my blade across his chest. Seeing red in the moonlight, I couldn't help but smile. I was enjoying this. Though in the next second there was a growl and I leapt to the side, seeing a walker coming for us. Merle took his opportunity and his fist found my stomach. He hit me with such force that the air was pushed out of my lungs. My feet momentarily left the ground and he slammed me down onto my back. Spinning, he cut the walkers head in half before he turned back to me. I didn't know if his right hand had been his dominant one but he had no trouble beating the shit out of me with his left. Attempting to block him, I felt the knife against my forearm, slicing through the soft flesh. Finally managing to bring my leg up, I managed to raise him off of me far enough to punch him. He fell off of me and I swiftly turned and punched him again. Getting to my feet I kicked him as hard as I could in the abdomen. Again and again and again. Then I kicked his face, making him flip onto his back. Kicking him a few more times, I got on top of him and starting to beat the living hell out of him. But at some point his survival instincts must have kicked in because I felt pain, looking down to see the blade imbedded in my side. Swiftly grabbing it, I momentarily fumbled with the devise before the blade came apart from it.

Getting off of him, I kept the blade stable as I waited to see what he was going to do. He stood, looking at his weaponless hand. He could beat me with that if he wanted to. But I was tougher than that. He could come after me and I would still beat him to death with his blade still in my side. Seeing my knife on the ground, I picked it up, taking a deep breath, ready for another round. Nodding at him, I motioned him forward.

He just smiled at me, "Well, darlin'. I'd say you won this one."

Nodding again, I moved back toward the gate. Seeing a flashlight, Paul came sprinting into view. "What the hell?"

"Dog is an asshole." I told him. He laughed before noticing the blade in my side, sighing heavily at me. "I know. I know." I told him exasperatingly.

"Always trouble."

"It's my forte." I smirked at him.

He nodded, "Come on."

Being taken to the infirmary, I was helped onto a table and waited for Dr. Stevens to come. She was smart and capable. I hadn't come into too much contact with physicians since the world went to shit but I felt like I would have liked her in some ordinary doctor's office. She was someone I would have chosen.

"Caroline." Dr. Stevens smiled. "Fancy seeing you here at this late hour."

Smiling, I nodded at her, "Found myself a late night fight."

She quickly frowned as she took in the blade that was still in my side. "Really?" She said on the verge of annoyance already. "Merle? Again?"

"It's only been a few times." I told her.

"Not like this."

Sighing, I nodded, "I know. This was a bit much. But it's whatever."

"A blade through your side is whatever?" She asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah." I replied nonchalantly.

She just shook her head at me, pursing her lips. Smiling apologetically at her, she simply set to work. She probed around the blade before she swiftly yanked it from me, making me gasp, taking my breath away before I finally took air in with a giant heave.

"Jesus, Doc!" I exclaimed as my hand gripped my side.

"Didn't hit anything important." She told me with an annoyed expression.

Nodding, I took a slow deep breath, "That's good."

"It is."

We talked about random things while she tended to me. The entrance and exit wound needed stitching. She cleaned everything else and handed me a fourteen day supply of antibiotics. By then I would be perfectly fine. As long as I didn't get myself into any more trouble.

"Thank you." I told her as I hopped off the table.

"Anytime." She told me. "But I'd prefer longer streaks between visits."

Laughing, I nodded, "I'll do my best."

"Are you enjoying your job?"

I nodded again, "Yeah. I want to keep Woodbury safe."

She smiled, "We appreciate what you do."

"Do you even know what I do?" I frowned at her. "What any of us do when we go outside the walls?"

She took a breath, letting it out slowly, "I do."

"Then why the hell would you appreciate what I do?" I asked, sounding harsher than I intended.

"Because the only thing that could bring Woodbury down is other people."

"What if those people are innocent and we should be taking them in versus what actually happens to them?" I asked next.

"A moral dilemma." She stated.

"You're just full of wisdom." I smirked at her.

She laughed lightly and nodded, "I am, aren't I? But that's something you have to figure out for yourself. One person can bring down this entire community. All anyone would need is one moment for us to let our guard down. One person could open the gates and let the bad guys into our world."

"And we have no idea who the bad guys are."

She nodded again, "That's right."

"I could have been the bad guy."

"But we took a chance and you aren't."

"So when do we stop taking chances?" I asked her.

She shrugged but offered me a soft smile, "I guess that's something you have to figure out for yourself, too."

Unable to stop myself, I hugged her, "Thank you."

"I'll see you later."

Leaving, I stepped outside to see Paul still holding Merle at gunpoint. Smiling at him, I patted Merle's shoulder as I passed him by, enjoying seeing him flinch. Going back to my apartment, I fell onto my bed on my stomach, ignoring the pain in my side. Shutting my eyes, I fell asleep quickly.

* * *

 **Hope you all are enjoying! Would love just a little feedback so I have an idea of what people think. I'm asking for just a little bone. ; )  
Either way, the posting will still come! Feel free to leave something or simply just continue to enjoy!  
**

 **Happy Reading!**

 **THANK YOU!**


	8. Turning Tables

**Chapter Eight: Turning Tables**

Waking up to knocking on my door, I groaned as I moved my body. Pain moved through me and it made me immediately irritable. Laying still again, attempting to relax, I stared at the ceiling, hoping whoever it was would just go away. When the knocking started again, I finally pushed myself off the bed. Slowly moving to the door, I unlocked it, opening it to see Caesar.

"Hey." I told him.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked as he stepped through the door, taking my face in his hands.

"Dog."

"What?" He frowned.

"I'm fine, Martinez."

"Martinez?" He frowned harder.

"I'm sorry." I replied as I dropped back onto the bed. "I'm tired and sore. It's making me a little grumpy." He crawled onto the bed next to me, trailing his fingers up and down my back. "Mmm. That's nice." I told him, shutting my eyes.

He leaned closer to me, pressing his lips to my temple. "Just say the word and I'll kill him."

I opened my eyes and smiled at him, "Kill him."

He laughed. "Okay, fine. I won't kill him. But I'll give him another beating to engrain in his mind to never look at you, talk to you, or touch you ever again."

"I guess that'll do." I told him and kissed him quickly.

"We should get going." He replied.

"Go where?" I asked.

"We have a job to do."

Smiling, I kissed him again. "Okay."

Getting up, I was facing away from him. He couldn't see the frown on my face. He thought I actually enjoyed being with him. That somehow we were becoming the power couple of Woodbury. But if there was ever a day that he asked, he's be disappointed with my response.

"Wanna fool around for a little while first?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me. "You up for that?"

I could hear the smirk in his voice. Turning my head, I forced a smile, turning in his arms before pressing my lips to his. "I think I can handle it."

Making sure he was satisfied, hiding the fact that none of this did anything for me, we finally got up and dressed, making our way to the armory. Shumpert was already there waiting for us. Crowley as well. Small groups were better than pairs as well as anything bigger than four or five. Reconnaissance had become the name of the game and if we did run into anyone, the Governor had left it up to us whether we took them home or killed them on sight. It all depended on how they treated us. But most of the time we came back with only those we left with. Dead or alive. Unless the walkers got us.

"Ready?" Shumpert asked.

"Always." I smiled, cocking my gun. "I'll drive."

"No." Caesar stated, taking the keys from me. "Last time you drove, we ended up in the ditch."

"That was one time." I told him, following him as he went to the truck.

"I'm driving." He said matter-of-factly.

"Fine." I told him with a raised brow.

"Good girl."

I shoved him but laughed, "Shut up. And I just realized that we skipped breakfast."

"Here." Shumpert told me, handing me a protein bar.

Taking it, I grinned at him over my shoulder, "You are an amazing man." He smirked and looked out the window. "Thank you." I told him.

"Suck up." Caesar shot at him over his shoulder.

"She's nice." Shumpert replied sweetly.

"Thank you." I told him again. Though most of the time I wasn't really very nice. "So, what is our mission today?" I asked my current lover.

"We are going to find a small group of people that is forming. Some of our scouts came across them. They fired on them so they reported it to the Governor. He wants them taken out."

"Of course he does." I replied and scoffed.

"You don't think so?" Crowley asked from the backseat.

Looking out the window, I shrugged, "I don't know. I was saved. Why the hell can't they be saved?"

"You didn't fire on us." Caesar stated.

Nodding, there was truth to that. But I was actively dying at the time. If the Governor and him hadn't shown up when they did, I would be a part of the walking dead that roamed the world. I guess I was grateful. At the same time, I would have been okay with dying. At least I thought I would. But my subconscious had other ideas. Deep down I guess I really wanted to live.

Parking the truck, we headed into the woods in the location we had been given. It was maybe a mile or two off the road when we heard the talking. There was laughter and the sound of cards being shuffled. A spoon was scrapping the bottom of a pot. Moving as silently as possible, we surrounded them, seeing what we were dealing with. There were seven of them. Most were middle-aged or a little younger. One older guy who looked quite content as he sat and watched his people. Cards were being played. Others were reading. They looked utterly harmless. Looking at Caesar, he nodded and stepped out.

"Hello." He said holding up his weapon, feigning peace.

Doing the same, I kept my gun up and at the ready. They all flew to their feet, one swinging up a shotgun. Swiftly gripping it, I swung it out of his grip before hitting him with the butt of it. Keeping hold of it, I held my handgun up and pressed it to his head.

"I suggest you all rethink firing against us." I told him menacingly.

"We're just here to talk." Caesar told them.

"Then talk." The older gentleman said with authority.

"How long have you been out here?" He asked.

"Long enough."

"Why did you shoot at our people?"

"We were defending ourselves. We've learned that it's smarter to shoot first and ask questions later."

I smirked at him, "Smart."

"You've learned it to." He said looking at me.

"The hard way." I nodded at him.

"So what do you plan to do?" He asked, still looking at me. "Shoot us?"

"Maybe." I replied. "What if we don't? What would you do? How can we trust that you won't retaliate?"

"Why would we? We are all just trying to survive."

"Pack up. Move on." Crowley told them.

The older gentleman looked at him. "No."

"You're too close for comfort." I told him. "We will offer it once. If you refuse than we will take you out."

He was clearly contemplating it. He looked at one of his comrades and in the next second, Shumpert was holding his leg, screaming. Shots went off but it was only them that fell. Stepping up to the older gentleman, he was clutching his stomach. Blood was spilling between his fingers, shock starting to set in.

"You should have just moved on." I told him.

"Don't let me become one of them." He pleaded with me.

"Why not?" I frowned at him. "You deserve it. If you had listened than none of this would have happened."

"We just wanted to survive."

I smirked at him. "I guess you failed."

Turning away from him, I left him to bleed to death. Someone someday would end his suffering, but it was not this day. He would turn and come back just like everyone else did. He would kill and feed and become a part of the walking dead. I should have just killed him, but I wanted him to suffer. He deserved to suffer.

"That was cold." Crowley told me.

I just shrugged at him. Shumpert was being helped by the two men. When we got back to the truck, I took a look at his leg, getting the first-aid kit from underneath the passenger seat. It was just a graze. Whoever had shot him didn't have very much experience with guns. Cleaning it, I put a pressure bandage on it. I wasn't even sure it would need stitching but the bandage would suffice for now.

When Woodbury came into sight, I helped Shumpert to Dr. Stevens while the men went and gave their report. I didn't care if I gave one or not. If the Governor really wanted to hear what I had to say, he'd could come and find me. I didn't answer to him, even if he was the leader of this town.

Walking back toward my apartment, today was not a lucky day for me. Hearing my name, I saw the Governor walking toward me. Sighing, I crossed my arms and waited for him to get to me. I didn't feel like talking to him but this was one of those moments where I had to suck it up, swallow my stubbornness and just get it over with.

"What?" I asked him.

"I was just looking for your report." He replied.

"Why?" I frowned at him. "I'm sure you got it all from the boys."

He nodded, "Crowley made it sound like you were a bit…harsh."

Laughing lightly, I shifted my weight, "Harsh? I left a man there to bleed to death and turn. I can't say that's any different than slaughtering them all."

"We like to be humane." He replied.

Laughing again, I shrugged my shoulders, "Well, the job is done. They shot at us and I felt that he needed to suffer."

He smiled and nodded, "I can't say you were wrong."

"Thank you?" I replied with a frown.

It was his turned to laugh, "Stubborn till the end."

"Very." I smirked at him.

"You seem to be settling in okay."

"It's been over a month. I'd hope I've been settling in okay."

He smiled and nodded, "I suppose you're right."

"Anything else?" I asked him.

"No. No, go about your day."

"Thank you." I told him and turned away.

"I'm going to be borrowing Martinez for a while." He called after me.

Turning back to him, I couldn't help the furrow of my brows, "That's fine."

He nodded, "Alright, just making sure."

Nodding, I turned again and walked away from him. I didn't care that he was going to take Caesar for a while. I was more than capable of keeping myself busy. Going back to my apartment, I took a shower before standing in the middle of the room, looking around as I tried to figure out what to do to distract myself.

Looking at the bed, I sighed and walked over to it, crawling onto it and dropped onto my stomach. Shutting my eyes, I tried to fall asleep, only I couldn't seem to manage it. Rolling onto my back, I stared at the ceiling. For the briefest of moments I felt fingers brushing my arm and I jerked my head, seeing no one there. But it had been Ben. I'd recognize his touch anywhere. He was the first man I let touch me in a long time.

Feeling tears, I shut my eyes, letting them fall from the corners of my eyes as I silently cried. Picturing his face. Picturing him and Hannah and Mozzie. A girl and her dog running and playing with the farm in the background. Able to hear the chickens clucking and the cow mooing. The horses nickering. It had been the perfect life and now it was over. It had been over. It was time to move on and yet I felt like I was stuck in this moment of grief.

Deciding that the rest of day was going to be spent just lying here, I turned and hugged a pillow to my center. I wanted nothing more than to just disappear. Death was the easy way out and yet all I wanted to do was end my suffering. I could leave here and kill myself and no one would be the wiser. But it wouldn't be what Ben would've wanted for me. He would want me to move on. I was trying to.

Banging on the door woke me up, making me jump out of bed. Grabbing my gun from the bedside table, I flipped the safety off, slowly moving toward the door. "Who is it?"

"Something is happening." Karen told me through it.

"What kind of something?"

"They came back with people."

"Caesar?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And I think you should see them."

Opening the door, I frowned at her, lowering my gun, "Why?"

"I don't know. I feel like they could be right up your alley." She replied with a shrug.

Sighing, walking back to the bed, I put my gun down. Karen followed, shutting the door, shuffling around while I changed. Running my fingers through my hair, I pulled it back into a pony; I tucked my bangs behind my ear before facing her again. Still frowning, I strapped my knife to my thigh and put my gun in the back of my pants.

"Wouldn't it be more comfortable if you got a holster for that?" Karen commented as we left the room.

"Probably." I replied. "But it's not going to happen. There's something comforting about the cool metal against my skin."

She shook her head and smiled at me, "You're weird."

"I can pull it from the back of my pants just as fast as I could out of a holster."

"A holster would be more practical."

"I don't care." I told her and moved faster. "So where are these people?"

"Infirmary."

Walking even faster, I saw Caesar coming toward me. When he reached me, his arm moved around my waist and he leaned in, kissing me sweetly. "Hey, babe."

"Hey." I said as I put my arm around him, hugging his shoulder. "I hear we have newcomers." He nodded and raised a brow. "Uh oh. What does that mean?"

"It means one is going to be trouble." He replied with annoyance.

"Which one?" I smirked at him.

"The black one." He stated.

"Don't be racist." I teased.

"I'm not." He replied.

Taking in his serious expression, I finally softened, "You okay?"

"Yeah." He said and kissed me once more. "You gonna be home soon?"

Taking his face in my hands, I kissed him deeply, "I'll find you."

He pulled me against his chest, his hands moving up and down my back, "Why do you want to see them anyway?"

"They're other people you've taken in. Might as well see what they know."

"Dog knows one of them." He told me.

"What?" I frowned.

"There are two women." He went on. "The blond knows him from Atlanta."

Nodding, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "And the other?"

"A black chick that has a wicked sword." He said with a slight air of impressiveness. Laughing lightly, I put my hand against his face. "She's feisty."

"I'm feisty." I smiled at him.

He laughed and nodded, kissing me again. "Yes you are, babe."

"Okay." I said rubbing his cheek with my thumb. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay." He nodded, smacking my ass as he walked away.

Laughing, I looked over my shoulder twice before I finally started moving with purpose. Smiling, I shook my head, knowing that I'd be having some fun later.

"You like him." Karen stated.

Giving her an odd look, I nodded, "I've always liked him."

"I just mean that he's growing on you." She elaborated.

"He is." I told her. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to settle for him."

She smiled and shook her head, "You've stuck around this long. I don't know why you think you'll ever leave."

I shrugged at her. "You never know."

Walking into the infirmary Dr. Stevens was sitting there writing on a clipboard. "Caroline." She smiled. "What new injuries have we sustained today?"

"None that can be seen, Doc." I smiled back at her.

She sighed and shook her head, "Grief is never easy, kid."

"Tell me about it." I nodded. "So, what's the story on these newcomers?" I asked as I looked at the two of them. The blond was sleeping while the black was hovering over her protectively.

Stevens sighed, "The blond is pretty sick. I gave her a bolus of antibiotics so hopefully that'll help. She's dehydrated and malnourished. They both are. But I think they'll be okay."

"Personality?"

"One's sick and grateful. The other is feisty and wary."

Nodding, I stepped up to them. The black chick was immediately suspicious. Her hair was long and in dreadlocks, a bandana holding them out of her face. She shifted closer to her friend. Her dark eyes were trained on me. Her slim form looked strong. She was someone I'd rather be on the good side of versus the bad.

"She's sleeping." She shot at me softly.

"I don't want to disturb her." I smiled, crossing my arms.

"Then what do you want? To spew some more crap about this place?"

Laughing lightly, I grinned at her, "I know exactly what you're feeling. I was there myself." She narrowed her eyes at me, her brows furrowing. "I was rescued from the woods when my family was killed." She softened, sighing at me. "Trusting people is not my forte. I don't trust anyone other than myself. So I get it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

For a long moment I just looked at her. I didn't know why but Karen had been right. There was something about this woman that was screaming at me to warn her and have her get the hell out of here. This place wasn't what it looked like. This place would ruin you.

I stepped closer to her, glancing over my shoulder before talking even softer to her. "Because you need to be careful."

"Why?"

"This place isn't what it seems."

"I already figured that out."

"Fine." I told her shortly. "All I'm saying is that you need to be careful. Getting out isn't nearly as easy as getting in."

"I've gathered that."

Laughing again, I shook my head, "I'm just trying to help you. You don't need to be such a bitch about it."

She nodded, her shoulders dropping ever so slightly. Nodding back, I turned and left. Karen was still following me as I made my way back to my apartment.

"Well?" She asked.

"Well nothing." I told her. "I came. I saw. I chatted."

"And?"

"And I think they are people who needed help."

"And?"

"And I don't care past that." I frowned at her. "What did you expect me to do?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

"Then back off."

"Why do you always have to be so difficult about things? I'm your friend. Not your little minion." She shot at me angrily.

Frowning, I stopped and looked at her, "The thing is, Karen, is that I never asked for you to be my friend. I didn't ask for a boyfriend. I didn't ask to be a part of this shit show. What I did ask for was to die with the rest of my family."

"Those two people arrive and suddenly you're angry again?" She frowned harder.

"I've always been angry. I just do well at hiding it." I told her and started walking again.

Going up to my apartment, I let myself in, seeing Caesar on my bed. He was sleeping on his stomach, a slightly worried expression on his face. Sighing, I stepped forward, falling onto the bed next to him. Reaching my hand up, I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I'm never going to love you." I whispered to him. "I'm sorry for whatever happens. But I'm not staying here. I don't want to be here and I don't want to be with you."

I'd wanted to say that to him so many times. I wanted him to know that this was nothing but a pit stop for me and that I would be moving on. But I didn't want to hurt him. So I kept playing my part. Doing what needed to be done to survive. Every day wondering why I cared if I survived or not.

Waking up to knocking on the door, I looked at Caesar, seeing him still sleeping soundly. Getting out of bed, I padded to the door, running my fingers through my hair as I opened it with annoyance.

"Huh." I frowned as I looked at the dreadlocked beauty.

"Can we talk?" She asked. Then I watched her raise a brow as she took in Caesar in my bed.

Sighing, I turned and grabbed a sweatshirt before leaving, closing the door behind me. "Come to judge me?" I asked as I walked down the hall.

"Can we go for a walk?"

"There is technically a strict curfew." I replied.

"Technically?" She asked with a raised brow.

Sighing, I nodded, "Let's go."

Going down to the street we started to walk, leading her down the usual route I took around the wall. We were stopped once by Crowley on top of the wall, but he swiftly gave us the okay after I talked to him briefly. I may not have been here long but I had made a reputation for myself. I still wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing, but in this moment it was definitely a perk.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked after we'd started our third lap of the wall.

"What did you mean about it being hard to get out?" She asked.

Nodding, I smiled, "What did he tell you?"

"That we'd be safe here. We wouldn't have to run."

"He refused to give your weapons back?"

"Yes."

Laughing lightly, I smiled at her, "He's smooth, isn't he?"

"Very."

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Michonne." She replied.

"Caroline." I told her as I held out my hand. She took it, finally breaking a small smile. "And he wants people here but he doesn't want them to be fighters. He wants people that he can mold into whatever he wants them to be."

"Did he mold you?"

"Hell no." I replied quickly.

"Then why are you still here?"

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair. "I lost people and they took me in. I stayed because I knew that I needed a place to recover. I needed to grieve and get my head back in the game before I moved on."

"And have you?"

I sighed again, "Grieving is a long process."

"Who did you lose?" She asked softly.

Stopping, keeping her eyes for a long moment, I started walking again. "I had been alone for a long time. All I had with me was a dog that had decided that its best course of survival was sticking with me. For months we traveled on our own. Me and him. We met people. We killed people for trying to kill us. We scavenged and killed even more people for trying to take what we had found. I learned fast that there are worse things than death and that I wasn't afraid to kill. Not if it kept me living." Pausing, I stopped, looking at her. She had a focused expression with sadness in her eyes. "I found a man and his daughter who had a small hobby farm in the middle of nowhere. They were untouched by the world. I tried to leave them be but they wanted me." Then I smiled as a tear slid down my cheek, "They wanted me."

"You were happy." She offered softly.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Then people came and destroyed my home. They set it on fire with those I cared about inside of it. I lost that man and that girl. I lost the dog that had become my best friend and kid. I lost _everything_."

"Then they found you?"

"I was ready to die." I nodded at her. "I was ready and I wasn't sad about it. I was sad to have lost my family. I figured I'd given this world a nice run and it was time. Screw you world. Take me now." Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair again, another tear sliding down my cheek. "Then these people rescued me from the forest, cared for me, gave me a place to stay, and they gave me purpose."

"What purpose was that?"

"Kill all the bastards of the world." I replied coldly, hardening myself.

"You just run around killing people?" She frowned.

"Yup." I nodded. "And now that I've said it out loud, I'm a horrible excuse for a human being."

She frowned, looking at me as if she could see straight through me, "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because something tells me that you know exactly what I'm talking about." I replied. "You have that feral look that comes from losing everything and trusting nothing." She nodded at me. "I'm saying this so you don't even think once about staying here. I kill for them because for some reason I want to stay alive. The family I lost wouldn't want me to die. Not even to join them." I told her and paused again before adding, "And sometimes things just need to be said."

There was a long pause where we didn't look at each other. Heavy silence lingering in the air as I tried to keep myself together. I thought I'd gotten past the instant breakdowns. The moments where it all felt like too much and that maybe death was easier than the alternative.

"What would you do if you tried to leave?" Michonne asked breaking the silence.

"They'd kill me." I told her nonchalantly, getting a look from her. "They know what I can do. It would be too dangerous to let me go. If I decided to hit them back, they know that I would stand a pretty good chance."

"That's ballsy." She frowned.

"Also true." I smirked at her. Taking a deep breath, I'd successfully pulled myself back together. "I come from a redneck family who owns a lot of guns." Then I scoffed, "I mean owned." She sighed and nodded at me. "I've never been a big hunter but I know how to shoot." A memory flashed behind my eyes, momentarily making it hard to breathe. Blinking repeatedly, I took a deep breath. "I know my guns. I know my bows. I know my rods. Growing up in the Midwest will do that to a person. I'm good in heat and in cold. I know patience. I know a lot of things."

"I thought Midwest people were supposed to be nice?" She smirked back at me.

I laughed and nodded. "I'm very nice. At least I used to be."

She nodded and started to walk again. "I did too."

"What timeframe did the Governor give you?"

"He said we can leave tomorrow."

Scoffing, I shook my head, "That's bullshit. Be careful, Michonne. He is not what he seems to be."

"You've survived."

"I also haven't tried to leave. I've been here long enough to gain some trust. I've also maneuvered myself into a position where I can influence his right hand man."

"The man in your bed?" She asked.

Nodding, I smirked at her again, "He's good for a few things."

"So soon after you lost your family?"

"I don't love him. Hell, I barely like him. But he is useful to me." I replied. "He's a welcome distraction."

"And the man who knows my friend?"

"He's an asshole. Stay away from him."

"Noted."

Making it back round to my apartment, I stopped and took a deep breath. "Anything else you want to know?"

"No. You've told me more than I expected."

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around myself. "There are some decent people here. Innocent people. But it's hard to see them like that when you know what their leader is capable of."

"What is he capable of?"

"Anything." I replied. "And that's the problem." She nodded. "You better get back to your room. I'll see you tomorrow if you're still here."

She nodded and disappeared into the shadows. Going back upstairs, I let myself back in, ready for more sleep. Crawling back into bed, Caesar took a sharp intake of breath, letting it out slowly as his hand found my back.

"Where were you?" He asked.

"I needed some air."

"You know there's a curfew."

I smiled at him, "I also know that Crowley is on the wall."

"Mm." He said softly. "Get some sleep."

"Yes, sir." I told him, kissing him softly before I rolled over, nestling into my pillow.


	9. Heavy Thoughts

**Chapter Nine: Heavy Thoughts**

The sun was warm and inviting as I made my way toward breakfast. I was eager to fill my stomach, never taking it for granted. I remembered too many days where I went hungry, finding just enough to stave off starvation. Then I found Ben and we had far more than we could have hoped for. Life had been perfect. Then it all went to hell and I ended up here, living a life that I didn't want just to survive in a world that was determined to kill me.

It was all a bunch of bullshit.

To make it worse, I didn't hear Ben's voice as much anymore. I didn't smell him. I didn't catch the sound of Hannah's laugh and every dog that barked made me think of the one I'd let burn. Despite how prepared they thought they were…it would never be enough. So I would enjoy my three meals a day. Anything extra that wouldn't spoil was in a trunk within a trunk that was in my room. Anything could happen at any time and I wanted to be sure I was ready.

No one else seemed worried about it. That was one thing that drove me crazy about this place. No one knew what was outside these walls. They felt untouchable and for the most part they were. The Governor had done a good job at keeping everyone safe. If only they knew what it cost. The lives that had been sacrificed to make sure they remained oblivious to the ways of the world. Some of these people couldn't even remember the last time they saw a walker. They just lived in their little Woodbury bubble, day in and day out, not thinking twice about what lay beyond the wall.

The kids still went to school. Parents still shopped for necessities. Amenities had not been lost here. Women were still doing their hair and wearing makeup. People were getting regular haircuts and shaves. There was a doctor for everyone to get their checkups for anything big or small. Dogs still lived here, playing fetch with their masters.

I had gotten used to it and yet at the same time it made me sick. I wanted to scream at them and tell them my story. I wanted them to understand the carnage that I had to live with every single day. I wanted them to know what it felt like to take someone's life before they took yours. To watch the life of a loved one slip away before they turned. Or what it was like to become a murderer because the man who took you in asked you to do his bidding. He was cold and collected.

I was cold and collected.

 _Don't let this world destroy you._

How far I had fallen…

I was destroyed.

"I saw you out and about last night." Milton said appearing behind my shoulder as I got a plate of eggs and bacon.

"And?" I said without looking up at him.

"And I think you should be careful. The Governor would not appreciate you ignoring his curfew."

"The Governor knows that I can take care of myself. He also knows that I've been doing just that while I take care of his people." I retorted. "If I was going to try anything I would have done it long before now."

"It's not that. It's the company you keep."

Stopping, I looked up at him. "That is none of your concern. It never has been. Otherwise I'd be in your bed instead of Caesar's, wouldn't I?"

He frowned and walked away. Sighing, I found Karen, who looked at me like a wounded puppy. So I had been a little cold to her yesterday. I'd been up and down the entire time I'd been here. This shouldn't be a surprise anymore. But apparently it was. I knew I should feel guilty about it, and toward her there was maybe a slight measure of guilt. Enough that I felt the need to apologize to her.

"Listen, about yesterday –" I started.

"It's fine." She told me.

"Karen, let me finish." I said softly.

She shook her head, softening already, "You don't have to. I get it. You've never been warm and fuzzy. You're not happy here. You don't even want to be here. We're the in between of whatever you've got going on. I know I can't expect us to be close. Besides, you've gotten closer to me than you have anyone else."

I nodded, "That is true."

"So I'm sorry I was all hurt and whiny about it."

"It's fine." I smiled and started to eat again. I knew there was a reason I liked her.

We were just finishing up when she kicked my shin. Frowning, I was going to call her out on it when she nodded over my shoulder. Looking, Michonne and the blond were walking toward us, being led by Rowan. Grabbing my last piece of bacon, I nodded at her and stood, moving toward the trio.

"This is Caroline." Rowan smiled. "She's like you two. Someone we saved a little over a month ago."

"Hi." The blonde told me. "I'm Andrea."

Michonne gave me an odd look before she offered me her hand, "Michonne."

Not letting it faze me, I nodded, "Nice to meet you both. How are you liking Woodbury?"

"It's impressive." Andrea nodded.

Nodding with her, I smiled, "It is." Then I looked at Rowan. "Mind if I take it from here?"

"No. You know the place. And you can probably explain it better to them than I can." She smiled.

I waited for her to walk away before I started to walk. Assuming they'd seen the majority of the town, we moved toward the gates before looping around the other side of the road. No one was paying us much attention. Not enough to hear what we were talking about.

"If the Governor said you could leave today, I suggest you do it." I told them.

"Why?" Andrea asked. "This place is amazing. It has everything we need to survive. Better than that, people are safe and happy here."

"It won't last." I stated.

She frowned at me with an annoyed expression, "Why do you say that?"

"Nothing good does."

She sighed and nodded, "Yeah. I guess that's true. I had a good thing going for me before and that ended horribly."

"Me, too." I stated. "That is why I can honestly tell you that this place isn't worth the price of admission. He saved you. Now he basically owns you. He won't let you leave. Not without consequences."

"I don't believe that." Andrea smiled at me.

I frowned, "I'm not in the habit of lying."

"I still don't believe it." She told me and stepped away, smiling as the Governor walked toward us.

"She won't leave." Michonne told me.

Sighing, I nodded, "I'm sensing a level of stubbornness that will rival my own."

She gave a short laugh, "I believe you."

Meeting her eyes, we both sighed and nodded at each other. Following behind them, we kept our distance until we reached my apartment building. Nodding at Michonne, I gently touched her arm before veering off. Going into my building, I went up to my apartment. I'd barely stepped through when my waist was grabbed and I found myself against Caesar's chest. Laughing, I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him deeply.

"Hey, you." I smiled, running my hand across his hair.

"Wanna fool around?" He asked.

Grinning, I kissed him again, "I think I can handle that."

We did just as he said; fooling around until I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. Neither could Caesar. It was fun and at times exciting. Most importantly, it made me momentarily forget everything else that was going on in my life. I forgot about Michonne and Andrea. I forgot about the Governor. The fire. That was what I liked most about being with Caesar. He made me forget. Even if I felt barely anything toward him, he made me forget.

When I woke up, the sun was low on the horizon. Confused on what time of day it was, I rolled over to say something to Caesar, but he wasn't there. Frowning, I got up and looked out the window. Judging from the look of the street, I'd slept through the day and the night. It wasn't something that I'd never done before but I hadn't done it for a while. I felt good, but I still felt a little annoyed with myself. Despite how much time we had in this new world, things still needed to get done and I wasn't a fan of losing the time I had.

Going to Karen's apartment, she opened it and smiled at me, leaning against the doorframe. "You do exist."

"What the hell did I miss?" I smiled, stepping inside.

"You missed the Governor's speech yesterday about the army. How they'd found them but the biters had gotten there first."

"And today?"

"Today has barely begun." She replied.

"At least I missed the speech." I smiled as I dropped onto her couch.

She laughed, "Caesar must have really worn you out."

"He has his virtues." I grinned at her.

She laughed. "Then you will need breakfast to regain some energy."

"What are Michonne and Andrea up to today?" I asked as we left.

"Andrea seems to have taken a liking to the Governor. Michonne is wandering around somewhere." She replied. "Why?"

"I think you were right." I told her. "I think I have an annoyance and an ally."

She smiled and nodded, "I think I can tell which is which."

"It makes me curious." I added.

Grabbing breakfast to go, I ate my bacon and then started on the cup of yogurt and granola as I walked around town, looking for Michonne. Finding her walking near a bunch of army trucks, I could only assume that they were brought back from the army base that the Governor had taken the others too. Judging by the look of them, I could figure out exactly what happened on that run.

"I think you can probably deduce what happened." I said nonchalantly, making her jump. "Sorry." I smiled at her.

"You knew?" She frowned.

"No. I just know." I replied. "Just because I wasn't there doesn't mean I don't know what these people are capable of. I've been on plenty of runs that end just like this."

"How do you live with yourself?" She frowned.

Shrugging, I couldn't help but not feel anything, "When you've lost everything, it makes it hard to care about anything anymore. Caring it a privilege that no many can afford."

"You're broken." She replied sadly.

Laughing, I nodded, "You have no idea."

She stepped up to me, her expression so intense that it was hard to look at her. When she spoke, it was with such emotion that it took all of me not to breakdown right then and there. "I've been where you are. I've seen what you've seen. I know exactly what you're going through and I can tell you that it will get better. People matter. The killing needs to stop. How are we supposed to survive if we wipe each other out? The dead already outnumber us. How are we to stand a chance if we don't hold on to our humanity? We need to stand together. Those of us who can live in this world without losing ourselves. People like you. People like me. People like Andrea and those she came from. People matter, Caroline."

"You don't know me." I frowned at her, attempting to keep my composure.

"No. I don't." She replied. "But I trust my gut and it's telling me that you're not this person. You're in pain. But this isn't you."

My stomach was turning and it took all of me not to hit her, or yell, or breakdown. So I did the next best thing. Anger. "You don't know me." I repeated. "Think what you want but what you see is what you get."

"I don't believe that. If I did then I would believe the same about me." She told me.

"Then maybe you should." I told her and walked away.

As soon as I was out of sight, I started to shake. She was a stranger. She didn't know the first thing about me and yet she sparked something in me that was setting my blood on fire. Taking the quickest route back to my apartment, I rushed to it, slamming the door open and shut. Turning Caesar was sitting on the bed, looking expectant.

"Get out." I told him as tears rushed to my eyes.

"Caroline, what's wrong?" He asked with concern.

"Get out." I told him again as I moved forward. Gripping his wrist I pulled him to his feet, pushing him toward the door.

"Babe, what is it?" He frowned, holding on to me.

"Please, just get out." I told him, still fighting the tears.

He nodded, pulling me into him just long enough to press a kiss against my forehead, then he was gone. The second the door shut, the tears spilled and sobs broke from me. Falling backward, I hit the floor, my back against the bed as I rocked back and forth, sobbing and screaming as if everything that hurt me had happened all over again.

I was still crying heavily when the door opened and Michonne stepped in. She took one look at me before she sighed and sat next to me. Looking at her, I nodded before starting to sob again. I hated how right she was. I hated how much I wished I could just forget. I wished I could be me from before all this happened but none of us could be who we were. You couldn't survive without changing into someone else.

"I don't feel anything anymore." I cried without looking at her. "I've killed so many people. Before here I still killed to keep the little food and water I had. I killed because people were going to kill me. I could justify it then. But now? Now I just do it because the leader of this godforsaken place tells me to. And I don't…I don't feel anything."

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked softly.

"Because if I tell the people here then they will come up with some reason to get rid of me. I haven't tried to escape because I don't want to die. I want to die but I don't – I don't want to die. Can you understand what I mean?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"I don't feel, therefore I do, and am too goddamn afraid to do anything about it. I distract myself so I don't feel. You're making me feel things I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel anything because I don't feel anything when I should."

"You're broken." He told me again.

"Very." I nodded. "I feel like I sound crazy right now."

"Not crazy. Just human." She replied.

Looking at her, tears were still falling down my cheeks, "How do I get fixed?"

"You need to leave here. You need to help me convince Andrea to leave here."

Keeping her eyes, I frowned, "Then what?"

"We survive." She told me and offered me a small smile. Nodding, my eyes were still wet but tears had stopped falling for the moment. "I haven't been here long but there is something about the Governor that rubs me the wrong way."

"I've always hated him. From the second I saw him, I hated him."

"Yet you stayed."

I nodded, "For all the wrong reasons."

"Not wrong, Caroline." She told me. "You did what you had to do."

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, "It was an impossible situation. I should have died but I ended up here. I guess I took it as a sign."

"If you didn't know any better, this place would be perfect."

Laughing lightly, I nodded, "If you let everything else fall away, this place is perfect."

"Don't lose yourself, Caroline. Even a place like this shouldn't take everything you are away from you."

"Were you a philosopher before all this?" I smirked at her with furrowed brows.

She smiled, "No. I was definitely not."

There was a long pause before I frowned at her, "Can I make an observation?" She nodded at me. "You don't seem the trusting type. Let alone someone who would be sitting and reassuring a crazy person when she doesn't even know them. So why are you really here?"

She smiled wider and nodded at me, "Like I said. I know what you're going through."

"Your family?"

She nodded. "And I've been gone a lot longer than you."

Sighing, I raised my brows, "I could so totally go for some tequila right now."

She mirrored my expression, "Yes."

"I can probably track down some beer." I told her. "Vodka maybe."

There was a long pause before she said anything. "Or we could just sit here. Not saying a word. Knowing that we're not alone."

The tears came back and we sat there, me crying while she took slow deep breaths. Neither of us said anything else. We just sat there and as simple an act as it was, knowing that I wasn't alone, knowing that someone was here that knew what I was feeling. It helped more than anything else had. It was surprising and in a way terrifying.

When she left the room felt colder than it had before. It felt small, nearly claustrophobic. Deciding that I couldn't handle it, I got up and left it, practically running down to the street. As soon as the air hit my lungs, I felt better. Needing to escape for a few minutes, I made my way to the gate, seeing Shumpert on top of it. Climbing up onto the landing, I sighed and stepped next to him.

"Want down?" He smirked.

"Keep your eye out?" I countered.

He looked over his shoulder, "Be quick."

Smiling, I touched his arm before I dropped from the wall, keeping close to it before disappearing into the woods. I wouldn't be gone long and I wasn't looking to cause any trouble. Walking silently and slowly, I knew where I was going but I was in no hurry to get there. My mind was heavy and the more I walked the more I felt like I couldn't do this. But it wasn't about what I wanted. It was about what I needed and I needed to see it. I needed to go back.

I knew I was close when I started to see the burnt trees. Taking slow deep breaths, I kept moving forward, watching my feet as the ground became more ash than grass. Looking up, the cabin was in front of me, partially collapsed in the center, burying my family amongst the rubble. Stepping over the remains of the fence, I could barely make out the rows of crops. Stopping in front of the stairs, I fell to my knees, staring at my broken home. Remembering the moments where Ben would look down at me from the top, his shirt open with a cup of coffee in his hands. It was been so simple. But it was all gone. Sobbing, screaming into the sky, I slammed my fists into the ground.

"Why?!" I screamed into the sky. "Why would you give them to me and then take them away?! WHY?!"

Screaming until I couldn't anymore, I sat on my heels, letting tears stream down my face. This wasn't helping me. This was hurting me. I thought maybe seeing all of this again would somehow bring me a little bit of closer. But it didn't. It just reopened all the wounds that I had been trying so hard to close.

Hearing twigs breaking, I shot to my feet, spinning round to face whoever or whatever was there. Relief filled me and I couldn't help but smile. One of the horses had survived. He looked well fed. Hearing other sounds, I moved around the cabin to see our cow still grazing in the small pasture. A small goat for company. Somehow the fire had missed them. Looking back at the horse, he wasn't alone anymore. The mare was there as well, her belly large.

Laughing, for the first time since I'd lost my family I felt hope. Hope that this meant the world was fighting back. The world was giving me something and all I had to do was take it. Stepping toward the horses, they moved toward me, eager for attention. They could have run off. They could have lived free. Yet they stayed where home was. Even if that home was destroyed.

"Okay." I said hugging a long nose against my chest. "Okay."

Not wanting to lock them up, I also didn't want to take them with me. Woodbury didn't deserve this gift. The Governor didn't deserve this gift. Michonne was right. I was better than what I had become. It didn't mean the road was going to be easy. Killing had become second nature. I knew I would still shoot first and ask questions later. But maybe I could be different. I had been a different person with Ben. Without him I reverted to the person I'd been before him. Killing. Surviving.

"I want to be more." I told the horse. "Is that possible in a world like this?" The mare nickered and nudged me. Smiling, I pressed my forehead to hers. "I'm glad one of us thinks so."

Attempting to leave them behind, they followed me through the wood. Circling round, I ended up putting them back in the pasture with the cow and goat. The few chickens now pecking around. Amazed, I fed them what I could find, deciding that I would be back sooner rather than later. Feeling a sense of rejuvenation, I jogged back to Woodbury, climbing back up the wall and once again joined Shumpert on top of it.

"Where the hell have you been?" He frowned at me.

"Out." I told him.

"Caesar was looking for you. The Governor was looking for you. Milton was looking for you. Karen was –"

"Looking for me? I got it." I told him with annoyance.

"Get your ass off this wall." He said shooing me with his arm.

Smiling, I nodded and swiftly dropped to the ground. Rushing forward, I had barely gone a few yards when I skidded to a stop, looking up into the face of the Governor. Still catching my breath, I put my hands on my hips, furrowing my brows at him.

"Yes?"

"Were you outside the walls?"

"Yes." I told him, not wanting to bother with trying to lie.

"Did you come across anything?"

"No." I said shaking my head. "The woods are quiet."

"Nothing?" He asked.

I frowned harder at him, "Should I have found something?"

He kept my eyes for a long moment. "No. No, of course not. It's been a long time since the woods were truly quiet."

I nodded, "Well, they are right now. So I guess we're doing our job."

He smiled, "Well done."

"Thank you." I told him. "Anything else I can do for you?"

He shook his head, "No. You've already done a lot for this community. We're in your debt. I should be asking if there is anything we can do for you."

Smiling, I shook my head at him, "The safety and security that you provide is more than enough for me."

He smiled wide and put his hand on my shoulder, "I'm glad to hear that. Enjoy the day."

"Thank you." I told him and was moving again.

Going to Karen's first, I found her apartment empty. Deciding home was the next stop, I opened my door to see Caesar there. He sighed with relief before he had me in his arms. His grip was tense, making me feel like something had happened while I was gone.

"What's going on?" I asked letting him go.

"Where were you?" He countered, taking my head in his hands.

"Out. What happened?"

He sighed, frowning at me as he let me go. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?'

"Go off alone."

"Sometimes I need to get out and clear my head. I can't do that here and I can't do that with a group of people out there. I just needed a little time alone."

"Do I mean anything to you?"

Frowning, the only thing I felt toward this conversation was annoyance, "Where is all of this coming from?"

"I don't know." He replied and paced away from me.

"Caesar." I said reaching for him. "Baby, what is wrong?" I asked. I'd never used any terms of endearment toward him before. Saying it now left a bad taste in my mouth. At the same time I felt the need to comfort him. And for some reason I wasn't ready for him to leave me. "What happened while I was gone?"

"You've been buddying up with the black chick." He stated. "You getting ready to leave me?"

Sighing, I shook my head, "No."

"Then why are you talking with her so much?" He frowned.

"Because she's like me. We can relate to each other. It's nice." I replied.

He sighed and nodded, his shoulders dropping. "I get it."

"Good." I nodded back at him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my face into his neck, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For caring." I replied, taking his face in my hands.

"Of course." He told me as if I was being ridiculous.

Kissing him softly, slowly, I deepened the kiss, letting our tongues touch as I ran my hand down his chest. "I care about you, you know."

"I know." He smirked. "It might not be much but I know you care."

Smiling, I kissed him again, sliding my hands underneath his shirt. Slipping my fingers into the top of his pants, I'd just unbuttoned them when there was knocking on the door. Meeting his eyes, he raised a brow and I nodded at him, kissing him once more before going to the door. Opening it, I felt a jolt in my stomach as I looked at Michonne.

"What's wrong?"

"Can we talk?"

I nodded, letting her in. Looking at Caesar, he nodded and stepped up to me, buttoning his pants again. He took my face in his hands and kissed me before letting himself out, closing the door behind him. Turning to Michonne, I wrapped my arms around myself, offering her a small smile.

"She won't leave." She told me.

"Why not?" I frowned at her.

"The Governor." She said with disdain.

Nodding, I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands before racking them through my hair. "So stubborn." She nodded. "I want to go with you." I told her.

"What?" She frowned.

"I want to go with you."

"Why?"

"Because you were right."

She smiled and nodded, "Okay."

"Okay."

"But I'm not leaving without her."

"We'll figure it out."

Standing there, we looked at each other; both knowing that we needed to leave but there was always someone we weren't willing to leave behind. This time it was her. And I would help her in any way that I could.


	10. Time to Go

**Chapter Ten: Time to Go**

The sun was warm, making me smile when as I opened my eyes to it. Soon a hand slid across my stomach, pulling me closer against a warm chest. Turning my head, I smiled at Caesar, rolling over so I could wrap my arm around him. Kissing him sweetly, I rolled out of bed and got dressed. Going down to the street, I took a deep breath, turning to get breakfast only to jump as I came face to face with Michonne.

"Thanks for giving me a heart attack." I frowned at her.

"What's the plan?"

"There is no plan yet." I stated. "But I am hungry." She sighed and nodded, falling in step with me as we walked to get some breakfast. "You can't rush this. We still have to figure out a way to convince Andrea to leave with us."

"I'll take care of it." She told me matter-of-factly.

"Getting out will be easy once that happens. All we need to do is wait for them to have their backs turned. I have enough allies here that it'll be easy to slip out."

"Okay." She nodded.

"But once that happens, what is your next move? Just to keep moving and do the best we can?"

"Pretty much." She replied.

"You mentioned people that Andrea was with. Where are they?"

"We don't know." She stated. "She was separated from them when the farm they were on was overcome with the dead. I found her in the woods and we've been together ever since. For all we know the rest of the people she was with are dead."

Nodding, I sighed, "I hope that's not the case."

"Yeah. Me, too."

Getting breakfast, we ate on the move, going back to the apartment that the Governor had given to her and Andrea. It was time she convinced her to leave and if I could help, I would. Only she wasn't there. Michonne was clearly agitated and I couldn't blame her. Andrea was more than likely with the Governor and he was more than likely filling her head with reasons she needed to stay here with him.

"I need to go act natural for a while." I told her.

"What?" She frowned.

"I'm not usually the sneaky type. I'm straightforward and a bit of a bitch. I don't sneak."

She nodded, "Okay. I'll do the sneaking."

"You seem the type." I smirked at her.

She laughed lightly and nodded, "Alright then."

Turning, I left the room and started to move back to my apartment. I needed to get to Caesar and I needed to get him to take me on a run or something. I needed to act normally despite the fact that I was freaking out. I'd agreed to leave and now the thought was all encompassing. Not just the farm had given me hope but Michonne as well. There were people who understood. People who didn't want to live under the heel of another. The Governor wasn't the leader either of us wanted. Someone better had to be out there. Otherwise we would be better. We could lead the people down a path of non-violence against the innocence of the world. We couldn't lose our humanity. I needed to hold on to mine. I needed to find it again.

"Princess." A raspy voice told me.

"Dog." I said without looking at him and without slowing.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" He asked.

Turning, I walked backward, keeping the distance between us. "To find a real man who can make me scream." I smirked at him.

He frowned before rushing toward me. Gripping him, I threw him over me as I fell backward, flipping onto my stomach as I watched him role away from me. Springing to my feet, he rushed me again, only before he could reach me, my waist was grabbed and I was spun out of Merle's path.

"I don't think she was referring to you." Caesar smirked at Merle.

Laughing, I hopped on my feet a little as I waited for the confrontation to go down. This was going to be a show and I was more than ready to watch it go down. I'd been waiting for this. Caesar could take him easily. If the fights weren't staged then Merle would have been beaten a long time ago. But there was something about a man with a bayonet-hand that seemed to just get the people going. Only now they were going to see that he really was just a mutt who needed to be put down.

"Enough!" A voice bellowed before they could even start.

Sighing, I turned to see the Governor moving toward us. "Fun killer." I muttered under my breath.

"What is the meaning of this?" The Governor asked.

"Just defending my woman." Caesar replied.

The Governor looked at me for a long moment before he turned his gaze on Caesar. "We both know that your woman doesn't need defending." He told him with a smirk. "She could take the both of you without breaking a sweat."

Okay, in this moment I kind of liked the guy. "Thank you, sir."

He nodded at me. "And that is not what we do here. In fact, we're going to have a party to acknowledge how far we have come. We deserve a little reward! Don't we?!"

The crowd that was surrounding us burst with cries and applause. Caesar stepping up to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, "Hear that, babe? We're gonna have a party."

Putting my forehead against his, my hands on the sides of his head, I kissed him quickly, "Can't wait."

"We have a few hours before we have to be anywhere." He said wrapping me in his arms.

Laughing, I kissed him again, "And I think I can guess what you want to do."

He brought his lips to mine, "Anything to spend time with you."

Laughing louder, throwing my head back, I shook my head at him, "You're ridiculous."

"Am not." He said with mock hurt.

"And I am not worth the praise. Hell, we hardly talk. All we do is fool around."

"Not my fault." He smirked.

I nodded, running my fingers through his hair, "You're right. It's mine."

He got an odd look on his face, "Do you want to talk?"

Smiling, I kissed him once more, "I want to moan."

He laughed before practically yanking me off my feet as he took off down the road, my hand in his.

Racing back to his apartment, we undressed each other before falling onto the bed. Rolling back and forth, we made love more times than I could keep count of. When we were finally done, Caesar was asleep and I was sneaking out of bed, getting dressed again before leaving the room. Going back to my home, Michonne was already sitting on the bed.

"Here to see what the plan is?" I smirked at her and I started to undress.

"Is there a plan?" She countered.

"No." I replied.

She frowned and followed me as I walked to the bathroom in just my bra and underwear. "Were you ever going to leave?"

"Oh, I'm leaving." I smirked at her.

"Then what's the plan? You know this place better than I do."

Turning to her, I unhooked my bra, "Are you really going to watch me get naked and into the shower?"

She just stood there and crossed her arms. Laughing, I nodded and took my bra off, my underwear following. Pulling my hair out of the ponytail it was in, it fell down my back. Looking at her over my shoulder, I smirked before stepping into the tub. Going through the motions, I could see her start to pace through the curtain.

"The plan is easy." I told her. "The party will start in less than an hour. The Governor will provide enough food and alcohol to keep people happy. The guards on top of the wall will be distracted. All we have to do is wait for them to fail at keeping watch and then we simply jump down and leave."

"Just like that." She stated with a hard tone.

Scoffing, I shook my head, "What did you think was going to happen? Did you want me to bomb the gates and let the dead kill everyone? Did you want to find some sort of laser to make a door in the wall? Come on, Michonne, what were you expecting?"

"Something different I guess." She replied and I watched her sit on the toilet.

"Have you convinced Andrea to leave yet?"

"No." She replied. "But I'll have her convinced before tonight."

"And if you don't?" I asked next.

There was a long moment of silence before she spoke again. "I don't know."

Turning off the water, I pulled back the curtain and grabbed my towel, starting to dry off. Wrapping it around myself, I wrung out my hair as I stepped out, blowing my nose before wiping out my ears. The routine that made me still feel human. The killing was the monster inside of me. But the routine I did every day was what made me feel like I was still me. Taking the towel off, I flipped my hair over as I bent forward, wrapping the towel around it before straightening again. Looking at Michonne, she was staring at the floor.

"You don't have to stay here you know. You don't have to watch me parade around my apartment naked."

She laughed and looked up at me, meeting my eyes, "If you turn on some music, I'll get naked and start to dance with you."

Laughing, I nodded, "That's awfully tempting."

She grinned and averted her eyes again, "I used to be fun before all this."

"I believe that."

Brushing my teeth, I combed out my hair before going to get dressed. Picking matching black bra and underwear, the best pair of jeans I had, and a long sleeved dark green shirt, I put on my favorite pair of boots before I stood and faced her.

She looked at me up and down, nodding, "Comfortable."

"And easy to run in." I told her.

She smiled, "Okay."

"Okay." I repeated with a nod.

She looked at me for a long moment before her brows furrowed, "There's something I need to do."

"Then do it." I told her.

"You're not going to ask me what it is?"

I shrugged, "If you need to do it, would me saying anything stop you?"

"No."

"Do you need help to do it?"

"No."

"Then you do what you need to do."

She smiled against and nodded, "Meet you at my place."

"Your place." I said and scoffed. "Careful. I might think you're getting used to it here."

"All the more reason to make sure we're out by tonight."

"Agreed."

She left, leaving me once again alone in my apartment. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I was going over everything in my head. I knew this place well enough to know that I could get us out with little to no effort. It was where to go once we were out that was the problem. The Governor wouldn't rest until we were either captured or killed. I didn't want either to happen but our choices were limited. Thinking of the horses, if we made it there, we could mount and take off. We wouldn't be able to take any of the other livestock with us and I would hate to see them in the hands of the Governor.

Knocking on the door broke me from my thoughts, looking at it to see Caesar slip in. He smiled and came and sat next to me. "What's going on?" He asked softly.

"Nothing." I replied.

"You're buddying up with her and you can't."

"Why not?" I frowned at her.

"She's no good."

"You have no idea who or what she is." I frowned at him. "And you _do not_ dictate who I can "buddy" up with."

"Sorry." He said holding up his hands. "And I know. I just worry."

"Worry about someone else." I shot at him. "I am more than capable of taking care of myself."

"I know." He replied.

I sighed, "What do you need, Caesar?"

"Nothing." He said gently as he took my hand. "Just your company."

Looking at him, I did care about him, but at the same time I was not going to feel bad about leaving him behind. Leaning toward him, I slowly pressed my lips to his, wrapping my arm around his neck as I deepened it.

Placating him for a while, I finally left, slowly making my way toward the apartment that Michonne and Andrea were given. Looking around, everything was as it should be. Decorations were being made and the party looked to already be starting. Leave it to Woodbury to be able to through an all day party just for the hell of it. The Governor knew how to keep morale up and he was good at it. He was good at making people fall in love with him. Lesser people. Weak people. The smart ones knew better. Even if they played along with him.

Letting myself in, both women looked a bit off, "What's going on?"

Andrea shot me a glare before she looked at Michonne, "We gotta talk."

"We gotta go." Her friend told her.

"The Governor told me what happened." Andrea explained. "Michonne, you can't do things like this. You're freaking people out. You're freaking me out."

"What did you do?" I asked Michonne as I crossed my arms.

Michonne looked at me, "The northeast wall is guarded by some girl. We can escape there after dark."

I nodded, "Maybe. We'll have to wait and see. Either way, I'll get us out."

"We are not prisoners here." Andrea stated. "You shouldn't listen to her."

Michonne frowned at her, "No one who comes here leaves."

"What are you talking about?" Andrea shot back. "It's safe. There's food, there's shelter. There's people for God's sake."

"She's right, Andrea." I told her. "You can always get it but you can never get out."

"You get out all the time." She shot at me.

"I am allowed out to do the job I have here." I corrected. "If they ever thought that I had left, they'd come after me and either bring me back or kill me. It's that simple."

"That simple?" She frowned. "You've been living here and you're telling me that it's not worth it?"

"No."

"No." She said shaking her head. "No. I don't buy."

"You need to trust me." Michonne told her. "Trust her."

"And you need to give me more to go on. We got a good thing going here."

"Only on the surface." I told her quickly. "Deep down, this place is death."

Michonne was frowning at her, "And I thought this was temporary."

"And I think we need this. I want to give this place a real shot."

"I tried."

"Breaking into houses? That is not trying. That is sabotaging."

I did a double-take, "Wait, what? You did what?" She sighed and nodded at me. "Michonne, are you trying to ruin us before we've had time to escape?"

"No."

"Then what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I needed my sword in order to get out of this place." She retorted. Running my fingers through my hair, I sighed heavily, starting to pace in front of them. "This place is not what they say it is."

"Listen to her." I told Andrea. "Like you said, I've lived here and I'm telling you to go."

For a long moment she just looked at us, then she finally nodded, "Alright."

"You're not just saying that?" Michonne asked as she took a step toward her.

"Let's go."

Smiling, I nodded, "Good."

"What about you?" Michonne asked.

"Don't worry about me." I smiled. "I'll find you."

"Why not just walk through the doors with us?" Andrea asked.

"Because they'll think I'm leaving with you and that will be unacceptable." I explained. "I can slip out after and then we'll figure it out."

Michonne nodded, "Okay."

"Okay." I smiled. "Pack and get the hell out of here."

Staying with them, I watched Andrea's every move as they packed. She still seemed reluctant but was going through with it. Michonne was clearly anxious about it all, making me anxious. The thought of getting out of here was both exhilarating and nauseating. But to feel free again would be amazing. I wouldn't be alone and we could move on and build a life that was nothing like this. A new start so I could become the person I used to be.

Walking toward the gates with them, we were nearly there when Dog's voice came calling from behind us, "Hey, hey, hey, girls! Where y'all off to in such a hurry? Huh?" Andrea stopped but both Michonne and I pulled on her to keep her moving. "Hey, come on, now. Come on. Hey, hey, hey. Y'all are breaking my heart running away like that."

"Shut up!" I yelled at him. "They were told they could go, so they're going."

"And what the hell are you doing with them?"

"I'm seeing them out to make sure nothing happens on the way." I shot at him.

"It's almost curfew." He stated. "I'd have to arrange an escort. I mean, the party's still going on."

"What the hell do you think I'm doing, dipshit?" I shot at him.

He ignored me, looking at them, "All right. Wait here a second." He walked toward the gates, calling up to Caesar, "Brownie. Come here. Listen up bro."

"I hate when he calls him that." I said under my breath.

Andrea clearly was questioning what Merle was saying to Caesar, stepping up to them, "The Governor told us we were free to come and go whenever we liked."

"Sweetheart, nothing personal here, but you're gonna have to step back."

She listened but then I was stepping toward them, "Baby, what's going on?"

"You tell me, babe." Caesar asked.

"They get to leave." I shot at him.

Caesar looked at Merle, "I don't know what game you're playing, but she's right."

Merle glared at me, looking up at Caesar with a knowing expression. Only then the all clear was given and the gates started to open. He turned back to Michonne and Andrea, "Now if I was y'all, I'd find some shelter before nightfall."

"They knew we were coming. This was all for show." Michonne told Andrea.

"Do you hear yourself? How can you know that? And why would they bother?"

"Ladies." Merle smiled.

"Close the gates." Andrea told them.

"No." Michonne and I said together.

"You need to leave." I added.

Andrea looked at Michonne, "I practically begged the Governor to let you stay."

"I didn't ask for that."

"You didn't have to. That's what friends do for each other."

"It goes both ways."

"So you want to run around out there with walkers on chains eating twigs? I mean is that – is that right?"

"We held our own."

"Eight months." Andrea was trying to reason with her. "Eight months on the road moving place to place, scavenging, living in a meat locker. That was no life. I'm tired. I'm tired. I don't have another eight months in me. Not like that. And you, I…"

"What about me?"

"I'm afraid you're gonna disappear." She replied sadly. "We always talking about this place, didn't we? A refuge. That idea is what kept us going."

"Are you coming or not?"

"Don't do this. Don't give me an ultimatum. Not after everything."

"Are you coming or not?" She asked again but Andrea had clearly made up her mind. Michonne hardened herself. "You'd just slow me down anyway." She moved toward the gates, walking out of them. She didn't bother looking back.

Andrea called out to her but Michonne didn't slow as the gates shut. Then she turned to me, "This is your fault."

I glared at her, "Blame me all you want. You know that she's right. If you don't, then you're just as stupid as everyone else here."

The party was well underway and the fights had been prepared for tonight. Andrea would see what Woodbury did for fun and she had to change her mind. If not…God, she would be so fucking stupid not to realize what this place was and what they did. It wasn't good. No matter how good it seemed. It wasn't good.

"You ready?" Caesar asked me as he came into my room.

"No." I told him. "I'm not going."

"What? Why not?"

"He always makes you lose and I'm just sick of them. You know I don't like the fights. They're barbaric and not what the dead should be used for."

He sighed, "I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"We don't need to, Caesar." I retorted. "Just go without me."

He leaned over and pressed a kiss against my neck, "Okay."

He left and I spent the majority of the night staring at the ceiling. I needed to leave and yet part of me was afraid to. I felt watched, making it the wrong time to try and make a move to leave. I felt like I had to stay for at least a day or two to make sure there were no suspicions about me. With my luck, Andrea would tell the Governor about what I was doing and then I'd be imprisoned.

"Damn it." I muttered to myself.

Deciding that morning was a better time to figure it all out, I slept, knowing that I'd need the energy when I made my move. Also, I had a strong feeling that the Governor would send someone after Michonne. That wouldn't happen until morning. If I slept now I could get up early and try and stop anything bad from happening. Or rather, anything _worse_ from happening.

As soon as the sun was up enough to see by, I made my way toward the gates, being stopped by Caesar, "Where are you going?"

"Out." I told him.

"Why?"

He pulled me aside, "It's not a good idea."

I frowned at him, "Why?"

"Merle took a search party out." He told me softly.

"They went after her already?" I asked as my heart started to race. He nodded. "Damn it." Turning, I ran from the room, racing to the armory. Caesar was right behind me, gripping my wrist as I reached for a rifle.

"What are you doing?" He frowned.

"They are going to kill her." I shot at him, grabbing a clip for the handgun in the back of my pants. "I need to go."

"She's one person." He frowned harder. "You've never been one to save anyone."

Keeping his eyes, I knew he was right. But I didn't want to be that person anymore. "I am now."

"Caroline, don't do this." He said following me.

"I'm doing it." I said climbing up onto the wall.

"Care." Shumpert said with a deep-set frown.

Stopping, I stepping up to him. "We don't have to be these people." I told him. "We can be better." He just frowned at me. "They are going to kill her, Shump. I need to stop them. She doesn't deserve to die for simply not wanting to stay here."

"She had a choice."

I frowned at him, shaking my head, "You know that's not true. The Governor isn't the man you think he is." He just continued to frown at me. "If you want to stop me you're going to have to shoot me."

"Caroline." Caesar said gripping my hand.

"I know." I nodded at him, tightening the sheath around my thigh. "I don't know what's going to happen." I told him, kissing him deeply. "We had a good run."

His grip on my hand tightened, "You're not coming back?"

I took his head in my hands, "I don't know."

"You're not going." He stated with his hands firmly on my hips.

Smiling, I kissed him again, "I'll see you later."

Pulling away from him, I dropped from the wall, sprinting into the woods. Running as fast as possible, Michonne was good, but Merle was better. He's been raised a hunter and he could track better than anyone I'd ever seen. If he found her first, I wasn't sure if there would be anything left afterward.

It didn't take long for the first remnants of ta fight to be found. There were body parts but all of them looked like those of the dead. Then I came across her message. GO BACK. I couldn't help but grin. At the same time, that meant they were on to her. Then I heard the fighting and the gun shots. Rushing forward, Crowley and Tim were already dead. She was fighting Merle. She managed to get out from under him, rushing off into the woods. He fired after her, but I couldn't tell if she was hit for not. Rushing around the scene, thinking I'd gone unnoticed, someone gripped my shoulder and I cried out as pain seared through my side. Looking down, I saw Merle's bayonet sticking out of it. He quickly took my guns and my knife, tossing them as far away from us as he could.

Turning to look at him, he was grinning at me. Elbowing him in the face, I pushed him away from me, the blade pulling out of me as he fell back. Rushing in any direction, hoping to find a weapon, I managed to find my knife. I gripped it tightly before rushing after Michonne. The wound was bleeding pretty good, making running hard. It hadn't made it far when my hair was grabbed and I was yanked onto my back. Rolling quickly, I narrowly missed his blade, getting back onto my feet and faced him.

He laughed, "What do you think you're gonna do, Princess? You don't have any fight left."

"Really?" I frowned at him. "You've known me for a while now and do you really think that I give up that easily?"

"If you keep bleeding like that, you won't have a choice. You'll be dead."

"I'd rather die from blood loss than by your hand."

"I stabbed you, didn't I?"

Scoffing, I shook my head, "If you're going to kill me, let's get it over with."

"This isn't going to save Michonne. She's still gonna die."

"Fine." I told him. "I'm not really going to care much if I'm already dead."

He laughed and nodded before he was rushing toward me. Falling backward, I gripped him, throwing him over me, slamming him into the tree behind me. Getting up I was already moving. My side was throbbing. I hadn't gone far when a walker stepped out in front of me. Skidding to s stop, a fell to the side, straightening before I stabbed it through it's skull. I'd barely killed it when there was pain as Merle cut the side of my knee. He'd caught up quickly. Falling to my good knee, my knife was still in the skull of the walker. Then he was hitting me, feeling my face split open. My arms and back scraping against trees as he slammed me into them. My head was next and I fell dazed to the ground.

"I guess this is it, sweet cheeks. Time to die." He told me and I knew that this was it.

Gripping a rock as I pushed myself onto my hands and knees, he simply laughed. He stepped closer to me, but before he could kill me, a set of walkers appeared. He sliced one in half, letting the contents of it fall over me. He was still taking down the second, giving me time to escape. Running to the walker I'd killed, I pulled my knife from its skull before I sprinted away as fast as humanly possible, I didn't look behind me to see if he was coming. I needed to get away from him and I needed to find Michonne. Following red on the leaves, I finally saw her pulling her things from a tree.

"Michonne." I said softly.

Her head shot up and she looked relieved. "Linny."

Hugging her tightly, I took in her leg, "You'll be okay."

"What about you?" She frowned.

Smiling, I gripped her around her waist, "I'm peachy."

She laughed lightly and nodded at me. Starting to move, I couldn't hide my grimace as soon as she wasn't looking. My side ached and I couldn't stop the shaking from moving through me. She looked at me with worry but didn't say anything. Bouncing her against my good side, we kept moving. Blood was soaking through both our clothes and I couldn't deny that I was starting to feel a little lightheaded.

Stumbling, we both went to the ground, panting hard. Looking at her, we both knew what each other was thinking. Sighing, I furrowed my brows. She mirrored my expression. Nodding, I got to my feet, hopping on my good leg, helping her to hers before putting one foot in front of the other. Moving forward, the dead started to appear around us. We hadn't even noticed that they were there. Initially jumping, thinking they'd smell us, they simply walked past, not acknowledging us. Smelling us, we smelled like them.

Sighing with relief, we kept moving, the trees giving way and a building appeared. Moving to the end of the building, I peeked around the corner, seeing nothing but abandoned cars. Looking at her, we started to move, only then we heard an engine, quickly ducking behind a car. It pulled in front of the shops just ahead of us. I held Michonne tight to me as we watched two people get out. A young Asian guy and a pretty girl. They seemed relaxed.

"Clear outside." She told him.

The Asian boy smiled at her, "All right, let's take a look."

"Hey." She said getting his attention. He looked at her before she kissed him. "It's a beautiful day."

My stomach was turning, almost hating seeing them. I thought of Ben. Wondering what we would be doing if he were still alive. What would Hannah and Mozzie be doing? Where would we be? I missed him. It made emotion start to creep in and it took all of me not let our presence be known.

We watched them cut the bolt and then he went inside.

"Glenn, get that duck." She told him.

"What?"

"Get that duck."

He laughed, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." She replied. "A kid growing up in a prison could use some toys."

I frowned and looked at Michonne. "Kid? Prison?"

"Shh." She told me.

"We just hit the powdered formula jackpot." He told the girl.

"Oh, thank God." She replied with relief.

"I also got beans, batteries, cocktail wieners, many mustards." He told her. "It's a straight shot back to the prison from here. Probably make it in time for dinner."

"I like the quiet. Back there, back home, you can always hear them outside the fence no matter where you are."

"And where is it y'all good people are calling home?"

My blood ran cold and I attempted to dart out from behind the truck but Michonne stopped me. "No. Let me go."

"We can't help them."

"Michonne." I said struggling against her.

"Hey. Hey." She said making me look at her. "Neither of us is in any condition to help them."

Looking back, Merle was pointing his gun at them and his bayonet is still on his arm. The couple reacted quickly though, both of them holding guns on him. Two against one. The odds were good. But they didn't know Merle. They didn't know what he was capable of. I needed to help them.

"Merle?" Glenn said with surprise.

Merle laughed and put his gun down on the ground, holding up his hands. Frowning, it turned out I was wrong. They knew each other. Looking at Michonne, her expression mirrored my own.

"Wow!" Merle exclaimed as he moved toward Glenn.

"Hey, back the hell up!" The woman shot at him.

"Oh, oh, okay, okay, honey. Jesus." Merle replied. God I hated that man.

"You made it." Glenn told him.

"Can you tell me, is my brother alive? Huh?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, you take me to him and I'll call it even on everything that happened up there in Atlanta. No hard feelings. Huh?" Merle replied but neither of them moved. They were smart. Merle was too though and he knew that they weren't going to listen to him. He laughed at them as they took in his arm. "You like that? Yeah. Well, I found myself a medical supply warehouse. Fixed it up myself. Pretty cool, huh?"

"We'll tell Daryl you're here and he'll come out to meet you." Glenn told him.

"Hold on. Just hold up." Merle replied, getting pissed as he stepped toward them.

"Whoa. Whoa." Glenn told him threateningly.

"Michonne." I whispered.

"No, Linny."

The woman is looking nervous and Merle is still slowly moving toward them. Clearly something happened in Atlanta and Merle was left behind. That much I understood. His brother Daryl must be at the prison. It was a small world. Most people never found each other once they were separated. But it was clear that this was not a happy reunion. To make it worse, Merle pulled a second gun from the back of his pants. He yelled and blew out the window of their car. The couple darted to either side and I lost sight of the woman…and Merle.

Then I heard Glenn. "Let go of her. Let go of her!"

"Put that gun in the car right now. Put it in the car, son." Merle told him. I could hear the gun get tossed. "There you go. Now we're gonna go for a little drive."

"We're not going back to our camp."

"No, we're going somewhere else. Get in the car, Glenn! You're driving! Move!"

"Woodbury." I frowned at Michonne. She nodded at me but didn't move.

We watched the couple get loaded and then they were off. Moving from behind the truck, I fell over before I'd gone three steps. Michonne looked down at me with a knowing expression. Nodding, I hit her hand away from me as I got to my feet. My knee was killing me. My side was still bleeding. The cuts, bruises, and abrasions were letting their presence be known. Stumbling forward, I saw the formula in the basket. Looking at Michonne, she nodded at me. Picking up the basket we started down the road. It was a straight shot to the prison. All we had to do was get there.

"I never even considered the possibility of having kids in this world." I told her as we kept moving.

"Me neither." She replied.

"It was bad enough that people have to raise their kids in this. Who would willingly get pregnant and bring a child into world as fucked up as this?"

"We don't know the circumstances."

"No. We don't." I agreed. "I'm sure it was an accident."

"I'm sure it was."

We were quiet as we kept moving. My good side was aching from supporting Michonne's weight and both my arms were sore from her and the basket of formula. The thought alone of knowing a baby had been born in this world was both exhilarating and terrifying. How was someone supposed to raise a baby in a world where the smallest noise brings danger from every direction? How could a baby survive? How was the mother feeling? How had the labor gone? So many questions kept running through my head.

Seeing the prison in the distance, we slipped into the woods, wanting to take it in before we made a move. Keeping the gray buildings in sight, when the trees gave way, the prison was laid out before us. It was impressive. But it wasn't just the prison that was here, there was a line of walkers as well. There were lining the two sets of fencing. The outer one was swarmed with the dead. A gap between fences to walk.

Fear started to fill me again. If we were in no position to take on one man then how the hell were we going to take on a herd of walkers? Then movement caught my eye and it took all of me not to leap out of the way. Walkers were coming out of the woods, drawn by the sound of the others. Looking at Michonne, we looked and smelled bad enough that they were simply passing us by. Slowly moving forward, she jerked on my shoulder, making me give a little cry. Freezing, they didn't seem to be fazed by it. Keeping moving, we inched toward the fence that could very well be our death.

We didn't stop until we were at the fence looking in. There were people. We saw people talking and smiling. We saw the baby. Only then she was handed off and the man who had been holding her started to walk toward us. He was clearly unsure of us. We had given them no reason to trust us.

"Caroline." Michonne whispered as the walkers started to notice us.

"It'll be okay." I whispered back.

Shoving her against the fence, I took out my knife, moving to the walker closest to us. Stabbing it through the top of its head, I did the same to three others before one pressed against my back. Shoving it away from me, I shoved my blade underneath its chin, yanking it out as I heard Michonne cry out. Spinning toward her, she had cut down several, lying in the middle of them. Others were already coming down on top of her.

"Get up." I told her as I fell to my knees after taking out another that was about to bite into her. "Michonne."

"Caroline." She said as her eyes fluttered.

"Get up." I pleaded as I forced myself onto my feet.

Putting my blade through another, I jumped as a gun shot rang from behind me. Turning toward it, I had only a moment to register the man and boy who was rushing toward us. They were helping us. Moving toward the walkers nearest me, I continued to take them out. Stepping backward, I took in the many that were starting to swarm from the commotion we'd been making. Looking at Michonne on the ground, the man was now rushing toward us, I knew my fate. But if she lived I'd be okay. It would be my redemption for everything I'd done.

Meeting the man's eyes, the blue of them bored into me, with curiosity, anger, fear…everything that a person should feel coming across someone new in a world like this. But he was helping. As of right now he was helping. He needed to help her.

"Carl." He said to the boy, watching as he shot several more walkers.

He was just a boy and he was taking them out like they were nothing. He was older than Hannah. What was it like to be raised in a world like this when you understood what it meant? Having lingered too long, I heard the growl, turning to see a walker in my face. Only in the next second a shot rang in the distance and it jerked as the bullet moved through its head. Looking back through the fence, people were in the towers.

People.

Multiple people.

There were people here.

Looking at the man again, I felt determination start to fill me, yelling at him as I pointed to Michonne, "Help her!"

He didn't respond but I was already moving. Stabbing a few more, I realized that there were too many of them. I only had my knife. This wasn't going to end well. Stabbing one, my feet were taken out from underneath me by another. Stabbing them, their weight fell onto my legs. I wasn't able to free myself when another fell to their knees next to me. Stabbing it through its head, its weight was on top of me as well. Continuing to stab them, I could hardly feel my arms anymore, but I kept stabbing them. I stabbed another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

By the time I was done, I was completely covered by the dead. I was breathing rank air. I could feel fluids covering my body that weren't my own, making me pray that because it wasn't saliva that it wouldn't make me turn. I didn't want to turn. I didn't want to die. I hadn't died. Instead I was simply and literally covered in death and yet I was alive.

For a while I still heard shots. For a while I still heard the growling of the dead. Then they both subsided and I was simply lying there, pinned to the ground by the bodies of men and woman who had been unable to survive this world. Feeling tears, I started to sob. I thought this was the end. This was the second time I thought the end was here after I'd lost Ben and Hannah and Mozzie. This time I thought I was giving my life to save someone else's. I was ready. I thought I was ready…

But I was alive.

Finally moving, putting my knife back in its sheath, I shifted my body, pushing on the bodies that were surrounding me. It was strenuous and disturbing and disgusting; but inch by inch I made my way out of my tomb of corpses. Thrusting my arm out, I felt the breeze of fresh air, forcing myself to twist as I used the bodies around me to propel myself out from inside of it. I felt like this was what being buried alive was like. Only instead of dirt I had blood and guts and corpses. The smell made me vomit more than once before my lungs finally tasted fresh air, gasping it to replace the stench of what I was surrounded by. Pulling myself free, I fell forward, hitting the ground hard. Pushing myself up onto my knees, I sat on my heels, letting my hand rest in my lap. Checking my knife, it was firmly in its sheath.

Sighing, feeling empty, every inch of my being aching from damage that had been done to it. Looking to where I'd last seen Michonne, she wasn't there anymore. Neither were her sword and the basket of formula.

Nodding to myself, I pushed myself up onto my feet, looking back at the prison. Taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, I turned and started to move back into the trees. I reeked of death, passing the dead as I moved in the opposite direction of the prison. I walked through them as if I weren't even there. Bumping into them as I stumbled through the forest. But even then they didn't acknowledge me. They let me pass them by. They let me continue to live.

Attempting to find the cabin, I had to backtrack twice before I finally found myself on the right path. The sky was starting to dim and I was utterly exhausted. My body was sore and ready to shut down. I was covered in grossness but was too tired to make my way to the stream. I needed to do something to clean myself up and yet I couldn't seem to move in the direction I knew it to be in. Instead I felt relief when found my buried stash of guns, taking only one of them, afraid to take them all. Holding it loosely in my hands, I continued to walk again, feeling even more relief when I finally saw the wreckage of the cabin. More than that I saw the animals were still safe. Going to the barn, I let myself inside of it. The smell of weeks of the animals living alone hit my senses like a brick. Not that I cared. I managed to find the least disgusting corner of the barn and laid down. Exhaustion was quickly setting in, not thinking twice about the day's events before falling asleep.


	11. The Other Side

**Chapter Eleven: The Other Side**

Blowing against my face made me start to come to. Then there was a big hairy lip brushing my cheek. Cracking my eyes open, I took in the long nose of the mare. Smiling, I moved my arm and it felt like a ton of bricks. Still stroking her nose, I heard the stallion nicker and then the crunch of movement outside. All fatigue was forgotten as I immediately got to my feet, vaulting over the stall wall, and swiftly moved out the back. My body was already screaming with from the exertion. I wanted to sleep. Hearing whoever it was at the front of the barn, I slowly and silently moved around the corner. Pulling out my gun, I took the safety off, taking a deep breath before I rounded the corner, taking aim.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, frowning at the man who had been at the prison.

Most of me thought it was Merle coming to finish me off but it wasn't. It was the man who had saved Michonne. It was the man who didn't hesitate to come to our aid. He turned toward me, letting me take him in properly. He was tall, his hair longer and wavy, brown with a beard. He was lean but muscled. He looked serious and wary of me. But what stood out the most to me were his eyes. They were blue and I felt like they were stripping me down to nothing, seeing me for exactly who I was. _What_ I was. It was like he saw me and understood me with one look.

"Hello." He replied softly.

Taking a steady step forward, I brushed my finger across the trigger, my hands as steady as my legs. "I'll ask again. What are you doing here?" He nodded, shifting and continuing to look at me with his hand on top of his gun. "Answer me." I demanded through clenched teeth.

"You're a stipulation in the deal I made with Michonne." He finally told me.

"What deal?" I frowned harder at him.

"I want to get my people back. She said she'd help me." He explained. "And she said that you lived there. You know it better than her. So, I guess I'm asking for your help, too."

"And you just expect me to help you?" I frowned.

"I don't have any expectations." He stated. "But I – I'd appreciate – any help you're willing to give."

For a long moment I just looked at him. I didn't know him. I didn't know anything about anyone who was with him. But he had helped Michonne and there was something about him that told me I would trust him.

Lowering my gun, I slid it into the back of my pants, nodding at him, "Okay. I'm in."

He frowned at me, "You're in?"

"If I was in better condition your people would never have been taken." I told him. "I would have stopped it. But I didn't because I couldn't." I went on. He just looked at me. "So, I'm in. I'll help you get your people out of there."

He nodded, "I appreciate that. But you look like you can hardly stand."

Nodding, I shrugged at him, "Yeah, I could use a hot bath and a back rub, but now's not really the time for that." Turning, I started out toward the stream.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he followed me.

Trying to hold myself as high as I could, my walk was more of a gimp and my knee started to give out more often than I would have liked. "To get cleaned up."

"We have a doctor of sorts back at the prison. He can take a look at you." He told me.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. However, I don't feel like smelling this bad anymore. I know where a stream is. I'll be quick." I told him.

I heard him laugh lightly and could only imagine him shaking his head at me. But he didn't say anything else as he followed me. Finding the stream with ease, I took off my shoes and socks before stepping into the cold water without hesitation. I scrubbed my skin the best I could, taking off my clothes under the surface and scrubbing them before tossing them onto shore. When I was done, I started to climb out, feeling both better and worse at the same time. Standing in my bra and underwear, I tried to get as much water off of me as I could.

"What's your name?" I asked him as he averted his eyes from me.

"Rick." He replied.

"And was that boy your son? Carl?"

He looked at me, nodding, "Yes."

Nodding back, I put my hands on my hips, still not ready to get back into my soaked clothes. He took me in but I honestly didn't care. There wasn't time to be timid in this new world. Nodding again, I finally started to put my clothes back on.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Caroline." I replied, putting my shoes and socks back on. Then I started out toward the prison again. "But you can call me Linny."

He fell in step next to me. "Linny."

Looking at him, I couldn't help but frown. "What kind of person are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you kill? Do you take people in? Do you scavenge? Do you take? What kind of person are you? Are you a leader? How big is your group?"

He frowned at me. "That's a lot of questions. Let's just get my people back and we'll go from there."

"Fine." I nodded. Looking up at the sky, it was getting dark. "We should hurry."

Breaking into a run, my body protested with every step but I learned a long time ago that pain was a weakness and there was no time for weakness during the apocalypse. I learned a long time ago how to be strong and to push through anything that came at me. This was just one more thing that I needed to face.

Rick was next to me the entire time. He kept glancing at me like I was going to fall over at any second. He was paying so much attention to me that he nearly ran into a walker. Gripping the collar of his shirt, I tore him to the ground, stabbing the walker through its eye. Looking down at him, frowning, he had his gun aimed at me.

"If I wanted to try anything I would have already." I stated, offering him my hand. He took it and I helped him onto his feet. "Pay attention to your surroundings. Isn't that lesson one?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

Rolling my shoulders, I sighed, starting to walk again. "How long have you been in the prison?"

"Long enough." He replied.

"Were you ever on your own?"

"Yeah." He replied, making me look at him. "Were you?"

I nodded, "Yes."

Not wanting to talk anymore, I started to move faster, finding that working my muscles was actually making me feel better. When we reached the prison, I slowed down, taking slow steady breaths as I attempted not to pass out.

"You okay?" Rick asked me.

"I'm fine." I told him, waving the question off.

He just chuckled at me as I momentarily jerked to the side. He reached for me but I quickly shot him a look, making him hold up his hands and step away from me. Carl was at the gate, looking at me with cautious eyes as he opened it, shutting it behind us.

"Hi." I told him, holding my hand out to him. "I'm Linny."

"Carl." He replied and took it, seeming to be a little surprised.

Then I looked at Rick, "Where's Michonne?"

He motioned toward the prison a little exasperatingly. I suppose I was getting a bit antsy. I'd just willing joined a strange man, letting him take me to a strange place, where other strange people were, all for the sake of one woman I'd only known a few days.

Following him to a side door, he opened it for me, letting me walk in before he moved past me. Carl was behind us as we moved down the corridors until it opened up into one of the blocks. I took in the big C on the wall before my eyes fell on Michonne. I swiftly rushed to her, hugging her tightly.

"You okay?" I asked softly in her ear.

She nodded and let me go, "Yeah. Are you?"

Laughing, I nodded at her, "I've seen better days."

She smiled at me, "I was going to mention how you look like shit."

Laughing harder, I stopped when I heard the baby. My head jerked toward the sound so fast my neck ached. It was a little girl. She was being held by a young blonde who was gently bouncing her. She was so little. She couldn't have been a month old yet.

Stepping toward them, I looked at the girl, "May I?"

"No." Rick said swiftly moving to us. "I got you here. Now let's just make a plan to get our people back."

"Is she yours?" I asked him, holding her little hand.

"Step away from her. Please." He said with a hard tone.

Nodding, I smiled at the baby, getting a smile in return before I stepped away. "Are you the mom?"

The blond smiled, "No."

Smiling back, I nodded again and looked at Rick. "Where is the mother?" He just looked at me with a clenched jaw. "I see."

It was then that I took in an older man on crutches. He was missing part of his right leg. Looking at him sadly, my eyes then fell on a redneck and a woman with gray hair that was standing behind him. He was rugged and looked like he used to be a motorcyclist. He must be Daryl. Merle's brother. The woman looked like a stay at home mom that had only survived this long because of him.

"Michonne mentioned that you were at Woodbury for a while." The old man said as he crutched toward me.

I nodded, "Yeah. Over a month."

Rick met my eyes, keeping them, "Then you're going to help us get in and out."

"Fine." I told him with furrowed brows. "I already told you I was in."

"You did?" Michonne asked.

"Of course." I replied. "I'm attempting to change my ways."

She smiled and nodded while the rest of them looked at me like I had just turned into some sort of monster.

"What do ya mean 'change your ways'?" The redneck asked.

"Let's just say this new world hasn't been as nice to me as it has to you. This is some place." I replied with a hard tone.

Then Rick was in my face. "You have no idea what it took to get here. You have no idea what was lost. You have _no_ idea what this new world has done to us."

His eyes were showing ten different emotions even though his stance was nothing but hard. "I'm sorry." I told him. "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"No. You shouldn't have." Rick shot at me. "Now tell us about Woodbury."

Nodding, I sat on the table that was near us. Getting off my feet felt amazing. "There are always guards on the wall. Always two to a post and they never leave it. They are good shots and they will shoot first."

"I thought they took people in?" The older man asked.

"They do." I replied. "But they're very particular about the people they let in. You basically have to be on death's door so you're so grateful to be alive that you stay and show how much you appreciate them."

"Is that what happened to you?" Rick asked.

I nodded, "Yes. More or less."

"Were you grateful?" He asked next.

"No." I told him with a hard tone. "But I also knew that I didn't want to be alone anymore." There was a long moment of silence before Michonne came and sat next to me. "But after what I went through I went down a dark road. I killed without question. Innocent people were killed for simply trying to survive and got in the way. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. But I don't want to be that person anymore."

"What did you go through?" Rick asked.

"Tell me your story and I'll tell you mine." I retorted with a hint of anger.

He sighed and nodded, his hand on his hips. "Fair enough."

"Michonne arrived and for some reason she made me realize that I didn't want to be the person I'd become." I went on. "She left only they followed to kill her. I stopped them, got her, saw them take your people, and you know the rest." I finished.

There was another moment of silence before Rick spoke again, "Anything else you can tell us?"

"Yeah." I replied. "I lived there. I know the people there. I can get you in and out without anyone noticing. I made sure I knew all the ins and outs for when I wanted to make my escape."

"You were planning to escape?" Rick asked.

"I didn't want to be there." I told him with furrowed brows. "But I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"Maybe that's why Michonne had such an effect on you." The old man said kindly.

Smiling at him, I nodded, "Maybe."

Looking at Michonne, she smiled at me, "You're not alone."

"I know." I smiled back. Then I looked at Rick, "When do we leave?"

"Now." He said and started to move. Others had joined us now. It was clear that they were former prison residents. "Daryl." He said to the redneck. "Oscar." A big black guy. "You two are coming with us. The rest of you keep each other safe."

Rick was clearly the leader. They all revolved around him and yet they took care with him. I had no idea what had happened or what was going on, but it was clear that their main concern was getting their people back. I couldn't blame them. If I still had Ben and Hannah, if someone had taken them, I would have gone to hell and back to have them returned to me.

Already moving from the prison, Michonne was right next to me. "What are you thinking?" She asked.

"I'm thinking that we need to get their people back." I replied.

"What are you gonna do?" She asked next.

Looking at her, I crossed my arms, "I don't know."

"What if Caesar sees you?"

"What if Andrea sees you?" I countered. Her brows furrowed and she nodded at me.

"How the hell are you still on your feet?" Daryl asked as he appeared on my other side. His tone wasn't necessarily mean but he still didn't seem impressed.

"I'm a fighter." I told him. "I'd think that was obvious since you are, too."

He shot me a look but I simply smiled at him. He scoffed and turned away from me. My smile fell as I kept my eyes on him. I felt like crap and all I wanted to do was sleep. But there were good people who needed help and I knew that I was able to help them. I may not be a good person but I could still do good things. I needed to start making amends for the things that I'd done.

Feeling distant, I tried to not dwell on the fact that these were good people and how I had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to stay with them. I didn't feel welcome and I didn't think they were going to welcome us into their group when all of this was over. People didn't survive if they let everyone into their group. But I still hoped for it. Looking at Michonne, I could tell that she was thinking the same thing. They were already established with each other. They cared about each other and they knew each other. It was obvious that they didn't trust us or even like us that much. We were simply a means to an end.

"Ready?" I asked Rick as he and the others came out.

He nodded and opened the passenger side door for me. Feeling awkward, I nodded, sighing as I slid into the seat. Everyone else loaded up, Michonne sitting in the middle of the men in the back. She was clearly uncomfortable but we didn't have a choice. We would help them but we were still at their mercy.

"Do you have a plan?" Rick asked after a little while.

"I'm thinking." I replied.

"You need to do better than that." Daryl said from the back.

Frowning, I turned, my wounds protesting, "I also don't have to do shit for you. I don't have to help you, Daryl. I could just let you figure it out and enjoy watching you fail. So I suggest you let me think and when the time comes do exactly what I fucking say." He met my eyes with a hard expression but nodded. "Jesus." I said with annoyance and faced forward again.

"You, uh…haven't been with people much, have you?" Rick asked, almost sounding sad about that.

I frowned at him, "We're not here to talk about me." He frowned back at me, tenseness flowing off of him. "Pull over." We all got out of the car and I adjusted my gun and my knife. "Like I've already told you, they have patrols. It'll be better off if we go on foot."

"How far? Night's coming." Rick replied.

Michonne stepped next to me, "It's a mile, maybe two."

Nodding, I took a deep breath, "We shouldn't wait too long."

We stood there while everyone else geared up. Once they were ready, Rick was in front of me once more, raising a brow. I simply raised one back and turned into the woods. Michonne was next to me, the two men behind us with Oscar taking up the rear. I kept glancing over my shoulder, a little on edge with having them behind us.

"They're good people." Michonne told me softly.

"I'm not questioning how good they are." I replied. "I'm questioning how bad they think we are."

"Nothing's going to happen." Rick shot at me with annoyance.

"Says you." I retorted with a raised brow.

He just shook his head but there was a smirk on his lips.

We were quiet after that. The walking was definitely better than the running we had done and I was more than ready to have this little trip over and done with. We just had to get them their people back and then figure out what to do next. I had been too afraid to ask Michonne what she thought she would do if they didn't take us in, but I was just as afraid to ask Rick if he would.

"I know what you did for me, for my baby, while I was…working things out – thank you." I heard Rick say softly, my ears perking at his words.

"It's what we do." Daryl replied.

I looked at Michonne and we both shared a sad expression and a heavy sigh.

Then Daryl whispered, "Rick."

"Down." Rick said and we all dropped to a squat.

Hearing them, we watched as a hoard of walkers moved our way.

"Get in formation. No gunfire." Rick commanded.

It was kind of amazing how quick we all moved together, protecting each other as they started to move toward us from all sides. Stabbing one through the skull, I shoved it away from me, stabbing another through the temple. With quick bursts, I killed all in my path.

"Hey." Rick whispered harshly as I darted from the group.

Turning, I swung myself in front of him, stabbing a walker that was directly behind him. My face was so close to his that our noses were practically touching. "I know what I'm doing."

He thrust his knife under my arm, looking to see it imbedded under the chin of a walker. Laughing lightly, I grinned at him, both of us freeing our knives before turning to the others. Rick pointed, getting everyone's attention before we all broke free from the path we were on, seeing a cabin. We all rushed into it, a foul scent hitting us, taking off of our breath away.

"Get the door. Keep it down. Keep it down." Rick told us.

Daryl looked disgusted, "The smell, it's loud."

Laughing softly, I nodded, putting my wrist underneath my nose as my eyes stung. Flies were buzzing. Never a good sign. Something was definitely dead in here.

"Jesus that smell." I whispered, tipping my head back, trying not to think about it.

"Linny." Michonne said looking at something.

Cocking my head, I stepped forward, taking in some sort of animal on the floor. Squatting at its side, I looked at the corpse, seeing the collar and thick tufts of hair. It was dog. Mozzie filled my mind and it took all of me not to reach out for the body, feeling like it was my dog. I wanted closure. Even if I found it in someone else's dead dog.

"I'm sorry." I told it.

"What the hell is that?" Oscar asked.

"It's got to be a fox or what's left of one." Daryl stated.

"It's a dog." I corrected.

I stood as Daryl stepped next to me, "I guess Lassie went home."

Frowning at him, he simply shrugged and I turned away from him, facing Rick. He nodded at me. Sighing, I nodded back at him, both of us turning to the door as walkers started to pound on it.

"That won't hold forever." I whispered to him. He nodded again before his expression grew serious. "What is it?"

He put his finger up to quiet me, moving toward the bed. Looking, my stomach started to turn. Someone was there. Rick yanked back the covers to reveal a man who was immediately freaking out.

"Ah! Who the hell are you?" He yelled with a shotgun in hand.

"We don't mean any harm." Rick told him calmly.

"Get outta my house!"

"Okay, okay, okay. We will, but we can't right now."

I held my gun steady, my aim at his head, "Calm down."

"Now!"

"Shut him up." Michonne said harshly as the walkers continued to pound.

"Rick." I said from next to him.

"Get out right now!" The man continued to yell.

"There are walkers outside."

"I'll call the cops." He told us.

I frowned at Rick, "He's fucking crazy."

"I am a cop." Rick told him. "Now I need you to lower the gun." He said and lowered his weapon to the floor. I didn't follow suit. "Linny."

"No fucking way." I shot back at him.

"Don't do anything rash. Everything's fine. Let's just – let's just take this nice and slow, okay?"

The man had his gun on me now, his eyes frantic. My grip tightened on my own, my eyes narrowing as I visualized where my bullet would hit him.

"Look at me." Rick told him. "Hey, hey."

The man cocked his gun, "Show me your badge."

"All right. It's in my pocket." Rick told him. "Now, I'm just gonna reach down nice and slow."

"Careful." I said looking at Rick.

He met my eyes momentarily before he looked back at the man. He started to reach slowly before he hit the gun away from him, grabbing the man. A shot rang, blowing through the door. Looking, it had narrowly missed Daryl.

Looking at the man, I was so fucking pissed. Stepping forward I punched him hard, "You son of a bitch!"

"Hey." Oscar said as he gripped my waist, pulling me backward.

"Let go! Let go of me! I'll kill you, you – let go of me." The man was bellowing.

We all looked to the door as the walkers tried even harder to get in. Dust was being hit free and we could see the shifting of the wall. The more that pushed against it, the weaker it was getting.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Rick told him.

Putting my gun away, I pulled my knife out, turning to Rick. He frowned at me before nodding. Raising my hand, I was about to bring it into his skull when he bit Rick, forcing him to let go. I reached for him as the man bolted toward the door.

"Help! They found me! Help me!" The man yelling as he reached the door.

"Don't." I said just under a yell.

"Don't open that door." Rick told him.

"Hel—" The man started before Michonne stabbed him through his heart.

Looking at her, I nodded, getting a nod in return.

"Remember the Alamo?" Daryl said softly.

Rick looked at him, "Daryl, help me with the door."

"You've gotta be kidding." Oscar stated.

"He's dead. Check the back." Rick told him.

He did as he was told, opening the door and looking around, "It's clear."

"Rick." I said softly, uneasy about this.

"Do you have a better idea?" He shot at me.

I paused a moment before sighing, "No."

Going to the door, I gripped the knob, meeting his eyes. He and Daryl counted to three and I whipped the door open just long enough for them to throw the man's body out of the door. The walkers immediately ceased their pounding on the cabin. You could hear them tearing into the body. Michonne touched my arm, everyone else already moving from the cabin.

Disappearing into the woods, we ran, wanting to put as much distance between us and them. Moving to the front of our little group, I put my hand against Rick's shoulder. He shrugged out of my touch but met my eyes. Pointing to the left, I took the lead, the trees giving way, train tracks crossing us. Keeping low, I moved us down them until the gates of Woodbury appeared.

"This is the main gate." I told him. "Always manned but I do know who these men are." I added. "Michonne." I said to her.

She nodded and disappeared.

"Hey. Hey." Rick called after her. "Damn it."

"It's fine." I told him. "Just wait."

He frowned at me, huddling with the others. "All right, we need to downsize."

Keeping an eye on the men on top of the wall, they all started to lighten their load, hiding everything by a broken down car.

"Ain't no way we're gonna check in all them buildings, not with all them guards there." Daryl stated.

"We won't have to." I shot at him.

"Then what the hell are we doin'?" He shot at me.

Then Michonne reappeared, making me smile, "We were waiting."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "It's all clear."

"Good." I said and put my hand on Rick's shoulder. "Whether you believe it or not, you can trust me."

"All right, let's go." He nodded.

Going to the back of one of the homes, I let us into one of the storage rooms. No one would be inside of it this late and it would be an excellent point to enter and exit by.

"This is where you were held?" Rick asked.

"I was questioned." Michonne stated.

Frowning, I stepped up to her. She shrugged at me. Nodding, I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Where would they be held?" Rick asked me.

"There are holding cells apart from the main buildings. They're insulated so not a lot of sound drifts out of them."

"I thought you said there was a curfew." Daryl stated.

"There is." I frowned, all of us looking out. "Those are just stragglers. The streets are packed during the day."

"If anyone comes in here, we're sitting ducks. We gotta move." Rick stated.

I nodded, "I can get us to the holding cells."

Rick looked at me before he huddled with his men. "If this goes south, we're cutting them loose."

"You think they're leading us into a trap?" Oscar asked.

"Right now it's the blind leading the blind." Daryl stated. "Let's split up."

"We're standing right here." I shot at them.

Before they could say anything, there was knocking on the door. I looked at them before they all dispersed. Looking at the door, I heard it unlock and Brent walked in. He took one look at me as shock moved across his face.

"Caroline?" He frowned.

I smiled at him, "Hey, Brent."

"What the hell are you doing in here?" He asked now smiling, hugging me. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I got myself pinned down by some walkers." I told him.

"Caesar will be relieved. He's been looking for you everywhere."

Smiling, I nodded, "I'm sure he has. Do you know where he is?"

He nodded, "Yeah, let's go."

"Perfect." I smiled.

I was going to walk out with him. I was going to lead him away from the others. Only before I could, he was grabbed from behind.

"Rick!" I said gripping his arm.

Brent cried out, making Rick jerk from my grip, putting his gun against Brent's head. "Shut up. Get on your knees. Hands behind your back." Rick told him. He listened. "Zip tie him. Where are our people?"

"I don't know." He told him.

"I told you I know where they would be." I shot at Rick.

"I don't trust you." He shot back at me. "You are holding some of our people. Where the hell are they?" He asked Brent.

"You're being stupid." I told him.

Brent looked terrified. "I don't know."

"Open your mouth." Rick demanded, shoving a cloth into it before knocking him out.

"I already told you I would help you. I told you I knew where they were. Why are you doubting me now?"

"Who's Caesar?" He asked.

"Why the fuck does that matter?" I shot at him angrily. "He has nothing to do with this and you have no right to ask me about him."

He nodded, "You're right. But I can't risk Maggie and Glenn."

"You aren't!" I yelled at him. "You just need to trust me."

"Do you trust me?" He countered.

I shook my head, "Not anymore."

"Enough." Michonne told me. Looking at her, I nodded, pacing away from them. "Calm down." She said softly. Then she looked at Rick, "She's done nothing but help you. The least you can do is listen to her."

"Rick." Daryl said as he stepped toward me. Looking up at him, he nodded, "Lead the way."

"Thank you." I nodded at him.

"You got this?" He asked.

"And then some." I replied.

He looked at Rick, waiting for him to decide. He stepped up to me, bringing his face close to mine, "Fine. But if you don't come through on his, anything that happens will be on you."

"You're going to put it on me?" I glared at him. "Your people wouldn't be here if it weren't for the man who took your people. If something happens to them, it's on him. I'm only trying to help. If I weren't, I wouldn't be standing here. Now, we're wasting time, accept my help or just let me walk away." He kept my eyes for a long moment before he nodded. "I'm gonna need you to say it."

He cocked his head at me, his eyes narrowing before he scoffed and shook his head, meeting my eyes again, "I want your help."

"Now was that so hard?" I frowned at him.

"Yeah, it was." He replied.

Looking at Daryl, he put his hand on my shoulder, "Lead the way."

I pointed my finger at him, "For you, I will." Then I pointed at Rick, "He can go to hell."

"Let's go." He nodded at me.

Opening the door, I looked around before we darted out. Keeping to the shadows, I moved toward the warehouse where the holding rooms were. Moving inside, we heard shots, making me break into a run. I knew these people and they knew me. They wouldn't shoot me. Not right away.

Leaving the group of them behind, I heard Rick yelling behind me, but I didn't care. If shots were being fired, anything could be happening. Following the yelling that was going on, I rounded the corner to see two people on their knees with hoods over their heads.

"Caesar." I said.

"Caroline." He said and lowered his gun. "What the hell?"

"Just wait." I told him.

He frowned at me, "Wait for what?"

In the next second the flash grenades were launched, smoke filling the air. Rushing forward, I pushed Caesar back, taking his head in my hands as Maggie and Glenn were grabbed. I could hear them retreating. Smiling, I pressed my forehead to his before I stepped back, disappearing into the smoke.

Hearing him call out to me, I was already running, catching up to the others. Intending to go out the way we'd come in, we all stopped when we saw Brent sitting on the sidewalk, others surrounding him.

"Shit." I said and pushed them all toward the nearest building. The town café. The others were all in when I turned to Michonne. "Come on."

"There's something I gotta do." She told me.

I knew what she was going to do. "Don't, Michonne."

"I have to." She replied and started to run.

"Michonne!" I called. "Damn it." I said and went inside.

Rushing to where Glenn and Maggie were, I took Glenn's head in my hands, gently pushing on his wounds. He didn't fight me as I checked his lacerations.

"Let me see." I told him as I reached for his ribs.

"Who are you?" He asked me.

"Someone who's trying to help you." I replied softly. He kept my eyes before lowering his arms. "Thank you."

Touching his ribs, they were more than likely broken or at least fractured. Putting his arm back across them, I smiled and nodded at him. Putting my hand on Maggie's cheek, I met her eyes.

"You okay?"

She nodded at me, "Thank you."

Looking at Rick, he was frowning at me. I just glared back before looking at Daryl. "Things just went south, what are you going to do? Cut me loose?"

"No." He replied. "Ain't no way out back here."

"No, there isn't." I replied.

"Rick, how did you find us?" Maggie asked him.

Rick bent down in front of Glenn, "How bad are you hurt?"

"He'll be okay." I replied, getting a glare from Rick.

"I'll be all right." He told him.

"Where's the other woman?" Maggie asked.

Rick looked around, "She was right behind us."

"Maybe she was spotted." Oscar added.

"Want me to go look for her?" Daryl asked.

"She's fine." I told him.

In the next moment Rick was in my face, "You let her go?"

"She's not yours to command." I shot at him. "I'm here aren't I? I'm all you need."

"Who are you?" Maggie asked.

"We gotta get them out of here." Rick said before I could reply. "She's on her own."

Looking at Glenn, I could see the struggle on his face. "Daryl, this was Merle. It was. He did this." He told his friend.

Rick frowned at him, "You saw him?"

"Face to face. He threw a walker at me. He was gonna execute us." He went on.

"S-so my brother's this governor?" Daryl asked.

"Hell no." I shot at him.

Maggie looked at me before replying, "No, he's somebody else. Your brother's his lieutenant or something."

"He's a fucking dog who obeys his master well." I shot at his brother. "He's a sorry excuse for a human being. They aren't the only one's he's beaten." I added and lifted up my shirt to show him my still oozing stab wound. "We are not here for him."

Daryl looked at me before Maggie, "Does he know I'm still with you?"

"He does now." Glenn told him before looking at Rick. "Rick, I'm sorry. We told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out."

"You what?" I asked as my stomach dropped.

Rick stepped in front of me, "Don't. No need to apologize."

"They're gonna be looking for us." Maggie added.

"He's gonna come for you. For all of you." I told him.

"Then I guess it's time for you to leave." He shot at me.

I frowned at him, "Is that what you want? You gonna get out of here all on your own?"

"We've had worse." He told me through clenched teeth. Then he turned to his people, "We have to get back. Can you walk? We got a car a few miles out."

Glenn nodded, "I'm good."

"All right."

"Hey, if Merle's around, I need to see him." Daryl told Rick.

"He's not worth it, Daryl." I told him. "You need to get out of here."

"She's right." Rick stated, making me look at him. "Not now. We're in hostile territory."

"He's my brother. I ain't –"

"Look at what he did!" Rick shot at him. "Look, we gotta – we gotta get out of here now."

"Maybe I can talk to him. Maybe I can work something out."

"You can't." I told him, stepping in front of him. "Please, Daryl. You need to get your people out of here. Now is not the time to confront him."

"You're not thinking straight." Rick told him. "Look, no matter what they say, they're hurt. Glenn can barely walk. How are we gonna make it out if we get overrun by walkers and this governor catches up to us? I need you. Are you with me?"

Daryl looked at him before nodding, "Yeah."

Then Rick's eyes are on me, "You with me?"

"Are you going to trust me?" I countered.

"I'll try." He nodded.

Nodding, he moved to the door, throwing more grenades out the door, covering our escape. They may not know exactly where we were but the smoke gave our location away, a firefight breaking out. I caught sight of Caesar and Shumpert, pausing momentarily before a hand gripped my arm, keeping me moving. Being forced to take cover, we were almost to the wall. There was a line of buses and trucks that would make it easy to get up and over the wall. All we had to do was get there before we were shot.

"How many?" Rick asked.

"I didn't see." Oscar stated.

"Too many." I stated. "And they have a nice armory."

"Don't matter." Daryl stated. "There's gonna be more of them. We need to move."

"Any grenades left?"

"Uh-huh."

"Get 'em ready." Rick told him. "We gotta gun it to the wall."

Taking slow deep breaths, I tried to remain calm. There were people here that I didn't want to see dead. I didn't care if I was with them but I didn't want them to die.

"You guys go ahead." Daryl told us. "I'm gonna lay down some cover fire."

"No, we gotta stay together." Maggie told him.

"He won't be alone." I stated and started to check my clip, taking another one from Daryl. "He's right. You guys go. Daryl will follow you."

"What about you?" Maggie asked.

"What about me?" I frowned at her. "I'm just a stranger, Maggie. I'm not to be trusted."

"I don't believe that." She replied.

Sighing, I smiled at her, "You don't have to."

"Ready?" Daryl asked me.

"Do it." I replied.

He threw the grenades and the others made a run for it. Daryl and I quickly shot at anything that moved, making sure the others made it to the wall. I watched Rick move behind a solar panel, the others reaching the bus, climbing up onto it. Still firing, I saw Rick falter. Someone was moving toward him and he was just sitting there, watching them.

"Rick!" I yelled. "Rick!" Rushing up behind him, I shot the man in the head, turning and gripping Rick's arm, forcing him from where he was crouched. "You need to go." He nodded and started to move.

Staying where I was, I was still covering him, only then my arm was grabbed and I spun to meet his eyes, "Let's go."

"No." I told him. "You go. I can still buy you time."

"They're going to know you helped us." He replied.

Thinking as quickly as possible, he was right, but there was always a way out. "Not if you shoot me." I told him.

"What?" He shot at me. "I'm not going to shoot you."

"You are." I told him. "Arm shot. Try not to hit anything important." I stepped away from him and he raised his gun, but didn't shoot. "Shoot me, Rick." He shook his head. "Shoot me!" He let off a shot, hitting me in my left arm, making me spin and hit the ground. "Run!" I yelled when I saw him just standing there.

I looked away for just a second and when I looked back he was already gone. Staying on the ground, figures were coming out of the smoke. I wasn't sure what the hell I was going to do but they knew me. I would survive, but leaving again would be a different story.

"Caroline!"

My head jerked up at the sound, "Caesar!"

Then he was there, helping me back onto my feet, taking me in his arms, "Jesus, babe."

"I know. I'm sorry." I replied, hugging him tight. He took my head in his hands and kissed me. Kissing him back, I wrapped my arms around him again. "I'm glad you're okay."

"You too, babe." He replied. I wasn't lying. I was happy that he was okay. "Let's get you looked at."

Being brought to the infirmary, Dr. Stevens already had a patient there. Panic started to flow through me as I took in the Governor. There was a shard of glass protruding from his eye. He was bloody and wet and looked defeated. It was then that I realized I had no idea where Michonne was.

"Sit." Caesar told me with worry. "Doc!"

"A little busy right now." She replied.

"I'm fine." I told Caesar.

He took my arm, looking at the wound. "You're not."

"It's not that bad."

"Caroline!"

"Karen." I said and embraced her as she rushed toward me.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, "I am."

"She's not." Caesar retorted. "Doc!"

"Busy!" Stevens shot back at him.

Looking at the Governor, he slowly raised his head and met my eyes with his remaining one. My stomach dropped and he looked like he was about to transform into some sort of monster.

"Karen." I said putting my hand on her shoulder. Then I met her eyes, "Patch me up and get me out of here." She nodded and started to get to work.

"You need stitches." Caesar told me.

"In more than one place."

"Take her." The Governor told Caesar.

"What?" He frowned.

"Take her into custody." He told him. "Now."

"Boss." Caesar started. "She had nothing to do with this."

"Look at her." He replied and he got to his feet.

"Sir, please." Stevens told him.

"She looks like she's been beaten within an inch of her life." He said before he rushed to me, his thumb digging into the wound in my side, making me scream. "More than that, Merle told me everything that happened."

My stomach dropped and I knew that my cover was blown. He was going to kill me. Just like he was going to kill Michonne and the people from the prison. He was going to tie up loose ends. Especially now that he was wounded. Jerking my hand toward his eye, he gripped my wrist, squeezing it painfully.

"She helped them. She was with them. She was with Michonne."

"Care?" Caesar frowned at me.

Looking at Caesar apologetically, I hardened my expression and looked back at the Governor. "You were going to kill her."

"She was a risk I couldn't take."

"She's a person!" I yelled, shoving him as I slid off the table.

"Since when does that mean anything to a killer like you?" He shot back at me.

Swiftly gripping the gun form my pants, I swung it up, letting off a shot, only Caesar tipped my hand, making me hit the ceiling. Then my arms were gripped and forced behind my back. The Governor stepped up to me, backhanding me with such force that blood immediately filled my mouth.

"Take her to the other one." He commanded.

"Governor." Caesar said stepping up to him.

"She's a traitor." He replied. "She dies with the other."

"Sad day for you, sweet cheeks." Merle said as he came in.

"Fuck you!" I said lunging at him. I couldn't reach him, making me spit in his face.

The Governor hit me again, more blood filling my mouth before I was taken from sight. Moving toward the arena, I knew what was going to happen to me. I knew struggling was pointless, but it didn't stop me from trying anyway, despite my hands being bound. Nothing I did helped and I found myself being forced to the ground. Looking next to me, I knew it was Daryl despite his head being hooded. Then one was put over my head, leaving only flecks of light visible through it.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Caroline?" He replied.

"Daryl, are you okay?" I asked him again.

There was a short pause, "Yeah. Are you?"

"I've been losing blood for hours. I'm losing even more now." I told him. "We're going to be put into an arena to fight to the death against walkers. I'm afraid I won't be much use by the time that happens."

"I'll protect you." He told me.

"I'm not asking for your protection." I replied.

He nudged me, "You're getting it anyway." There was a long pause before he asked. "You know my brother, don't you?"

"I do." I replied. "I also know that he deserves to die."

"He's my brother." He replied.

Not knowing what else to say to him, I kept quiet. We were going to die and it was in large part to his brother. I could have gotten us out of here. If he hadn't told the Governor what I had done then I could have gotten all of us out of here. I would have spared Daryl his brother if he had just kept his fucking mouth shut.

"Caroline." A voice whispered.

"Caesar." I replied and the hood was pulled from my head.

He cupped my face in his hands. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I couldn't stay here anymore. Merle took people and I needed to help get them back. The Governor is evil, Caesar."

"He's going to kill you."

"I know."

"And not just you." He said and looked at Daryl.

"I know." I repeated, looking at Daryl.

"Not just him." He stated.

Frowning at him, I shook my head, "Stop being vague. What are you talking about?"

"Merle." He stated. "They're going to kill Merle. The Governor claims that he's a traitor."

Nodding, I sighed, hearing Daryl's breathing get more ragged. "When?"

"Soon."

"What are you doing here, Caesar? What do you plan on doing?" I asked him.

He furrowed his brows before sighing, kissing me deeply, "I came to say goodbye."

Smiling, I nodded, leaning up to kiss him again. "Goodbye."

Then he was gone. I could hear the noise of the crowd growing. It was almost time. They were going to come for us and put us in the arena with walkers and cheer as we fought to the death. Being bitten and killed by the dead. We were going to die. I'd managed to save three lives today. Only I was still going to take one down with me.

"I'm sorry." I told Daryl. "I didn't mean for this to happen. This wasn't part of the plan."

"It wasn't your fault." He told me. "I left to find my brother. You stayed to give my people more time. It's on both of us."

Scooting closer to him, I pressed my arm against his. "I'll fight."

"So will I."

It was only a few minutes later that they came for us, yanking us onto our feet and leading us toward the arena. As soon as we rounded the corner, I could see the packed stands. All of them were yelling for blood. They wanted revenge. They wanted their security back.

Merle was already in the arena. Being shoved toward him, I momentarily fell to my knees, keeping my eyes on him as I got back onto my feet. Then Daryl was next to me, the hood being pulled from his head, his eyes moving to me.

"Linny."

"We're gonna get out of this." I told him with furrowed brows.

Before he could reply, I could hear the Governor's voice. "What can I say? Hasn't been a night like this since the walls were completed. And I thought we were past it. Past the days when we all sat, huddled, scared in front of the TV during the early days of the outbreak. The fear we all felt then, we felt it again tonight. I failed you. I promised to keep you safe. Hell, look at me." He said and paused. I could only imagine what he looked like, now one eye down. "You know, I – I should tell you that we'll be okay, that we're safe, that tomorrow we'll bury our dead and endure, but I – I won't, because I can't. Because I'm afraid. That's right. I'm afraid of terrorists who want what we have. Want to destroy us. And worse…because one of those terrorists is one of our own. Merle – the man I counted on, the man I trusted." He paused again, people yelling. "He led 'em here. And he let 'em in. It was you. You lied, betrayed us all." Then we were being pulled forward. "This is two of the terrorists. One is even Merle's own brother! So what should we do with them? Huh?" The whole crowd yelled for blood. The Governor turned to Merle. "You wanted your brother. Now you got him."

Looking at Daryl, our wrists are still bound. We have no weapons. Not even Merle. Walkers were already there and waiting for their next meal.

"I asked you where your loyalties lie." The Governor said to Merle. "You said here. Well, prove it. Prove it to us all." Daryl's hands were untied. "Brother to brother. Winner goes free. Fight to the death."

"What about her?" Daryl asked as I stood there still bound.

"She's just gonna die." The Governor smiled.

Laughing, I shook my head, feeling afraid for my life.

"Philip, please. Don't do this." Andrea told him. "Don't do this."

"You know me!" Merle yelled. "I'm gonna do what I gotta do, to prove…that my loyalty is to this town."

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled and launched myself at his center.

He swiftly threw me away from him, making me come face to face with a walker. Scrambling backward, I turned to see him start to beat his brother. Then Caesar and others came out with walkers on leashes. One was coming closer to me as Daryl started to fight back. Kicking one in the chest, I fell backward, bringing my hands underneath me to the front of my body. Kicking another one, I swung my hands as hard as I could, hitting the side of the face, feeling it cave in.

Turning back to the brothers, I threw myself at Merle only he just as easily threw me away from him, landing hard against my stomach. A walkers hand was just inches in front of me. Getting onto my feet, I faced the walker, biding my time until I thrust my bindings between its jaws, letting it start to break through the rope. Once it was thin enough to snap, I turned and rushed to Merle, taking him to the ground before I started to hit him continuously as Daryl attempted to pull me off of him.

"No!" I screamed.

"Linny." Daryl said finally getting me off of him.

Turning, I thrust my thumbs into a walkers eyes until I felt it's brain, digging further until it fell away from me. Hearing screaming, I turned to see the brothers pushing walkers into the crowd. In the next second, shots started to fire and grenades were being thrown into the arena. Falling to my knees, I looked around me. In the next second my waist was grabbed and I was hoisted to my feet, being pressed against a side. Pausing, they jerked and I looked up into Daryl's face.

"Daryl." I said as my vison started to speckle, making me stumble.

"Don't do this now, Linny." He told me.

Falling to my knees, I attempted to get up again but failed. "Just go." I told him.

"No." He stated, getting my back onto my feet.

I made it only a few steps before I was on my knees again. "Go!" I yelled at him.

"You'll die."

"Then just let me die." I told him. "Finally."

"Daryl." I heard Rick say before he was at our side.

Daryl yanked me back onto my feet. "Let's move. Merle!"

Gripping tight to him, I tried to focus on what we were doing, but my ears felt plugged and my breathing was becoming more prominent. The edges of my vision blurry.

"They're all at the arena." Merle told us. "This way."

"You're not going anywhere with us." Rick shot at him.

"You really want to do this now?"

"Come on, man." Daryl told his brother as he forced a panel open. "Rick, come on. We've got to go."

They moved through, Rick holding his hand out to me. For a moment I just frowned at him. I didn't trust him any more than he trusted me.

"It's okay." Rick told me. "Take my hand."

Sighing, I slid my hand into his, letting him help me. As soon as I was through, I could see Merle fighting the dead.

"A little help would be nice." He yelled back as us.

"You good?" Rick asked me.

"No." I told him, pulling the knife from his belt.

Rushing forward, I started to take them out one by one. Everyone grouping together.

"We don't got time for this." Merle told us.

"Let's go." Daryl said moving toward the woods.

Moving to follow, my legs left weighted down and, I fell to my knees. Rick stopped and looked at me before Daryl rushed to me.

"Come on, Linny."

"I wasn't kidding when I said just let me die." I frowned at him.

"You can yell at me later." He smirked before getting me onto my feet, then scooping my legs out from under me.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I felt nauseous and lightheaded. My arms felt heavy, making my grip fail.

"Linny." He said softly.

"Mm." I replied.

"Just making sure you're still here."

Smirking, I brought a weak hand to his face, "I'm a fighter."

"You did good." He told me.

"Can I go to sleep yet?" I asked him with a thick voice.

He turned his face against mine. "I've got you."

Making a soft noise, everything fell away.


	12. Acceptance

**Chapter Twelve: Acceptance**

Starting to wake up, I was aware of the hard floor underneath me. Aware of my hand being held and a rag moving across my forehead. I was also aware of my shaking and the fact that my body felt like it had been weighted down. The lids to my eyes so heavy that I couldn't bring myself to even try to open them. God I felt like crap. I didn't have control over my body, but I could hear voices. They were muffled at first, clearing as I continued to come to.

"We can't send them away."

Maggie.

"We can't trust them."

Rick.

"That girl gave her life to give you time to get Glenn and Maggie out of there." The older man said kindly. "From what Maggie said she would have let herself die to protect Daryl from his own brother."

"We still don't know them." Rick told him.

"And we won't unless you give them a chance." The old man stated. "She can't go anywhere right now, anyway." He added when Rick remained silent. "She's lost a lot of blood. She's been stabbed and shot. The stab wound worrying me more since a serious infection has started to set in. If we can't get that under control she'll die before she makes it to the door."

My hand was let go and then Michonne was speaking. "You need to help her."

"You're right." The old man replied. "Rick, let me help her."

There was a long pause before he replied, "Fine."

There was the sound of the crutches, then a hand was against my forehead. "Maggie, we need to start an IV. She's lost a lot of blood. We need to clean and debride her wound and then stich them. She also needs antibiotics in her system." Finally managing to crack my eyes open, I met his. "Hello." He smiled. Furrowing my brows, I couldn't get my voice to work. "It's okay. Nothing's going to happen to you."

"Here." Maggie said as she knelt next to him. "Hi." She smiled.

I was silent as they put in the IV, muttering back and forth to each other. Staring at the ceiling, I waited for the pain that was about to be coursing through me. It was going to hurt like hell and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to handle it. I already felt like I was on the cusp of life and death. Any more pain might just tip the scale.

"How is she?" Glenn asked.

"She's weak." The old man told him.

"Who is she?" Another woman asked.

"Her name is Caroline." Rick told her.

"She helped save us." Maggie added.

"Is she gonna make it?" The woman asked.

There was a pause before the old man replied, "I don't know."

Watching the old man, he held up scissors in front of my face, letting me look at them. "The edges of your wound need to be cut due to the infection setting in." I let out a soft noise. "You are going to be in quite a deal of pain. We don't have a way to sedate you so I need you to try and hold still. But you need to keep holding on to that fight in you. You gotta hang on a little bit longer. Can you do that?"

"Y-yes." I whispered, still shaking uncontrollably.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We have to turn you onto your side so I can stitch both wounds." I moaned a little in response. "Rick." He said. "Carl. Carol."

"It's gonna be okay." Michonne smiled down at me. "You've made it this far. Just a little bit longer."

"S-sure." I told her as tears slid from the corners of my eyes. The man, his son, and the stay at home mom stepped forward and I looked up into Rick's face. "Be – be gentle – with me." I mumbled, smirking at him. Not wanting to die on bad terms with him.

He chuckled, "Something tells me you're not the gentle type."

Laughing lightly, it quickly turned to screaming as I was turned onto my side. "Holy shit."

"Well done." The old man smiled at me.

"Sh-shut up." I told him airily and laughed lightly.

He chuckled at me. "Now the hard part."

"Just – just do it." I told him, gripping Rick's arm.

"You with me?" He asked gently. Nodding, I hugged his arm to my chest. "Go ahead." He said as his hand found my arm.

"Michonne." I said softly.

"I'm right here." She told me and I felt her hand on my hip and back.

Groaning with anticipation, Maggie poured alcohol against the wound, making me cry out and my shaking intensify. Then I was screaming, Michonne, Rick, and the other two were holding me down to keep my as steady as possible. Screaming as loudly as I could, my throat felt raw, slowly turning to moans, slowing even further until I was barely conscious. But I could feel everything.

"Linny?" Michonne said with her hand against my face. "She's barely breathing."

"Hershel." Rick said with an air of panic.

"Just a few more minutes and we can role her onto her back." The old man, Hershel, told him. "She'll be okay."

"Hershel." Rick repeated with his hand against my face.

"Caroline?" Hershel said, feeling another hand against my face.

"Mm." Was all I could muster.

"Just a little longer." He told me.

Finished with my side, they rolled me onto my back, hands against my arm. Then more alcohol was poured and I felt the scissors against my skin before the needle was once again moving in and out of my flesh. When my side was done, he moved to my shoulder, cleaning and stitching the skin together where Rick had shot me. Staring at the ceiling, I felt like I wasn't even in my body anymore. The pain was a dull throb, completely tolerable, making me unsure if it was even happening or not.

"All done." Hershel said and leaned over me, taking my face in his hands. "Caroline?" He said softly. "I need you to blink for me." Shutting my eyes, it felt like forever until I could open them again. "Good girl." He smiled. "Now get some sleep."

Not having to be told twice, I fell asleep with ease, feeling like I could slip away at any moment.

When I woke next, I felt better and yet still exhausted. Opening my eyes, I was looking at the bottom of a bunk. Turning my head, there was a set of bars, the door open, voices drifting in as well as the coo of a baby. Attempting to sit up, pain erupted and tears spilled from the corners of my eyes. Hearing steps, I looked at the doorway to see Rick step into view, cocking his head as he looked at me. Meeting his eyes, he stepped in, bending down at the side of the bed.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey." I whispered.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Shaking my head, I took a deep breath, "I don't know."

He nodded, putting his elbow on the bed, scratching his brow. "Yeah."

"Is she awake?" Maggie asked.

He turned his head and looked at her, standing up and stepping away from me. "Yeah."

She stepped in, sitting next to me, putting her hand against my forehead. "Your fever broke." She smiled at me. Taking her hand, I gripped it tightly, furrowing my brows at her. "You're okay. So is Michonne." Nodding, I still held tight to her hand. She smiled and held it firmly in both of hers. Shutting my eyes again, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Maggie." I heard Glenn say from the doorway.

"I'm fine, Glenn. I'm just going to sit with her for a while." She told him.

Attempting to doze off again, I couldn't due to the voices that were drifting in. Opening my eyes, I gripped Maggie's hand tightly before slowly sitting up, fighting through the pain. Taking slow breaths, for a moment the world spun but then steadied.

"You should rest." She told me.

I nodded, "I know. But I can't. What's going on out there?"

"There's a debate about a group of people Carl found in the tombs." She replied.

Nodding again, I slowly got to my feet, looking down to see my feet bare. Smiling, the coolness of the concrete felt nice. "Shall we?"

"No." She told me. "You need to rest. You shouldn't be up."

"I know." I told her, letting her go as I stepped from the cell.

All eyes were immediately on me. Smiling, I took a few tentative steps forward, unsure of how I would be on my feet. Finding myself surprisingly steady, I smiled as I stepped up to Hershel, holding my hand out to him.

"Thank you." I told him.

He took my hand, smiling at me, "I'm happy I was able to help."

Looking at my stitches, I smiled wider, "You're a Veterinarian."

He smiled and nodded at me, "Yes, I am."

"I'm a CVT." I grinned at him.

His grip on my hand tightened as he grinned at me, "Then you are even more welcome. You probably know more than I do."

Laughing lightly, I nodded, "I was good at what I did."

"I have no doubt." He replied, letting my hand go.

Looking around, there was one person I didn't see, my stomach dropping. Feeling a phantom touch across my back, it took me a long moment to ask, "Where is Daryl?"

Rick looked at me sadly. Glenn was the one who replied, "He left."

"Left?" I frowned. "After all that he just left?"

"With Merle." He added.

Laughing, I started to pace, "Of course he did. Fucking Dog."

"Hey." Rick said stepping toward me. "It was his decision. He made a choice."

"The wrong one." I shot at him. "Did you even try to stop him?"

He straightened, looking at me with a dangerous look. "You don't know us, Linny. Just like we don't know you. You don't get a say in what I did and didn't do. You don't get a say in anything."

Laughing, I paced and nodded at him. "I'll just get Michonne and we'll leave. We're clearly not wanted here."

"Now just wait a second." Hershel told me. "You are wanted. You put your life on the line for my daughter and Glenn. You risked your life to protect Daryl. Rick knows that."

"Hershel." Rick said warningly.

"We've lost enough people, Rick. We need to start trusting the good ones when they come."

"Linny."

Looking, I rushed to Michonne, throwing my arms around her neck. "I'm glad you're okay." I whispered into her ear.

"You, too." She said hugging me tight. "How are you feeling?"

"Still a bit like shit but it's still an improvement." I smiled at her. Looking at Rick, I crossed my arms. "So, have you made up your mind on what you're gonna do with us yet?"

Rick scoffed and stepped up to me, "Believe it or not, I've got bigger problems than you."

He turned and walked away, making me follow him. "Rick." I said but stopped, seeing a whole new group of people. "Oh. Hello."

Rick was standing in front of a tall, burly black man, who had an extremely kind face. Just behind him was a woman that looked enough like him that led me to assume she was his sister. But I could be wrong. Behind her, there was a man and his son, all of them looking uneasy.

"I'm Tyreese." The man told Rick.

He held out his hand but Rick didn't take it.

Hershel and the others had followed him as well, introducing the others, "Sasha. Allan. Ben."

 _Ben._

I flinched at the name.

"How'd you get in?" Rick asked.

"Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison." Tyreese told him. "Wall's down."

Rick frowned at him, "That side's completely overrun with walkers. How'd you get this far?"

"We didn't. We lost our friend Donna."

"They were lost in the tombs." Carl told him.

Rick turned to his son, clearly not impressed with him, "You brought them here?"

"He had no choice." Hershel said defending the boy.

"I'm sorry about your friend." Rick told Tyreese. "We know what that's like."

Feeling emotion creep in, I didn't know what they had been through, but I knew what it felt like. I knew far too well. It made me want to stay that much more. I felt like being with this group would help fix me. Fix us. Looking at Michonne, she looked like she was struggling, too. I was sure she lost people. She lost Andrea, even if it wasn't to death; she'd lost her to the Governor.

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands." Tyreese told him. "We're no stranger to hard work. We'll go out and get our own food, stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group; we'll help with that, too. Anything to contribute."

Rick barely paused before he replied, "No."

"Please." Sasha told him. "It's like "10 Little Indians" out there. It's just us now."

"No."

"Let's talk about this. We can't just keep –" Hershel tried to tell him.

"We've been through this. With Tomas, Andrew. Look what happened." Rick told him. "Look at them."

"That's not fair." I told him.

"Axel and Oscar weren't like them." Carol told him.

"And where's Oscar now?" Rick asked, making silence fall. "I can't be responsible."

"You turn us out, you are responsible." Tyreese frowned at him.

"Rick." Hershel said and he walked over to him. "You've done so much for us. I appreciate that. We all do. We owe you our lives. We've done everything you asked without question. And I'm telling you you're wrong on this. You've got to start giving people a chance."

Rick looked at me and Michonne, not sure what to say. Only then he looked up, seeing…something. He started to repeated 'no' over and over again. Looking up, there was nothing there. Keeping my eyes on him he stepped forward, past everyone in the room.

"Why are you here? What do you want from me?" He asked the emptiness. "I can't help you. Get out!"

"Rick." Hershel said.

"If you just let us –" Tyreese started.

"Get – get out! You don't belong here! Why? Get out!"

Looking at Michonne, she looked as concerned as I did. Tyreese and the others looked worried taking a step back. Holding my hand out, I stepped toward Rick.

"Rick."

"Get out!" He bellowed.

Tyreese nodded and he stepped back, looking at his people before they all turned and left. Looking back at Rick, I couldn't help the anger that filled me.

"What is your fucking problem?" I shot at him. "If you push everyone away all you're going to do is end up alone. Even your own people won't put up with you. You need to start to trust people again, Rick. I don't know what happened to you but you need to let someone in."

"Like you?!" He yelled at me.

"Yes!" I yelled before calming. "No." I replied. "Not me. But someone. I want to stay. I want Michonne to stay. I need you to let us stay. But how can I even ask that if you can't even control yourself?" Then his eyes were on me. It was obvious that he wasn't seeing me. He was seeing someone else. In the next moment his arms were around me, his face pressed against my neck. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Lori." He whispered.

For a moment I was going to retaliate against him for his closeness. But then the baby popped into my head. Rick's baby. The mother was no longer here. Wrapping my arm around him, I brought my hand to the back of his head, looking at Hershel. He nodded at me sadly.

"It's okay." I told him.

"I'm so sorry, Lori." He whispered.

"I know. But it's okay." I replied. "Rick, it's okay."

But it wasn't okay. Nothing about this was okay. Lori was his wife. The mother of his children and she was gone. They said there had been more of them. She must had been lost when they took the prison. She had given birth to a beautiful little girl and would never see her grow up. She was gone and he was left in this world to raise her and Carl. He had people. But he was alone. I knew what that felt like. To be surrounded by people and feel so alone that you can hardly stand it. Looking for anything to fill the void. He hadn't succeeded at that yet. The void was open and it was sucking him in.

"It's okay." I told him airily. "It'll get better."

Then he seemed to get his senses back, letting me go and walked away. Looking around at everyone I was feeling the pain from my own loss. I needed air. I needed to get away from these people who were looking at me with questions that I didn't want to answer. I had my own that I didn't want to ask. Not right now. Moving down the corridors I'd been led down before, I let myself out into the exercise yard. Taking a deep breath, I pushed down the tears that wanted to come out. There wasn't time for it.

"Linny." Michonne said as she followed me.

"I'm sorry." I told her. "I needed to get out of there."

"It's okay." She smiled. "I understand. I'm just happy you're up and moving around."

Nodding, I met her eyes, "It feels good to move."

"Now what?" She asked.

"I don't know." I told her. "I have no fucking idea."

"What if Rick doesn't let us stay?"

"He hasn't kicked us out yet."

She scoffed, "He's not exactly the most stable right now."

"I know." I nodded. "But he has a baby and his wife is dead."

"How do you know it was his wife?" She asked.

"I clocked his left hand." I told her, getting a smirk from her. "What?" I smirked back. "I'm a single person, I was single for a very long time. You get good at noticing that left ring finger." She laughed lightly and nudged me. My smile fell and I sighed, "He's hurting, Michonne. And I understand exactly what he's feeling."

"I know." She told me sadly. "I know you do."

"We're staying until they say otherwise. We'll help them fight the Governor."

"Okay." She smiled. "I guess we should start planning."

Nodding, I was looking out over the space before us. "That bus would be a good place to lay down an initial assault."

She nodded again, "I'll check it out."

"Okay."

"But you're not in charge here, Linny. Don't try and push them into doing anything."

"I don't want to be in charge. I'm simply thinking of how the Governor is going to come in and what move he'll make. Believe it or not, I'm the best weapon we have right now."

She nodded, "I get it, Linny. I'm just saying."

Smiling, I gently took her hand, "I appreciate that."

She went one direction while I went another. Going back inside, Rick wasn't there but Glenn appeared to be taking the lead, drawing out a map of the prison on the floor.

"Right. Now you said you found Tyreese's group here?" He asked Carl.

"Yeah." Carl replied.

"We secured this."

Carl pointed to the map, "He thought he came through here."

"Means there's another breach." Glenn said, clearly thinking. "Okay. The whole front of the prison is unsecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men."

"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack? Maybe you scared him off." The blond girl offered.

"He's coming." I told them. "He'll come and he'll hit us hard."

"He had fish tanks full of heads. Walkers and humans. Trophies." Michonne said as she stepped up to my side.

"We should hit him now." Glenn stated.

"What?" The blonde exclaimed.

"Not a good idea." I stated.

"He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

Sighing, I looked at Michonne before Glenn. "I can work with that."

"We're not assassins." Carol told him, her eyes darting to me. "And you're not a part of this."

"Like hell I'm not. He tried to kill me, too. And don't forget that I'm the reason Glenn and Maggie are alive."

"You know where his apartment is. You and I could end this tonight." Glenn said to Michonne.

"So do I. Doesn't mean we should." I frowned at him.

"I'll do it myself." Glenn told her, getting her to nod. "Okay."

"We're not okay yet." I frowned. "Michonne, he nearly killed you. The only reason you got away was because you managed to stab him. That was luck. Don't expect it to happen again."

"You can't go." She told me. "You're needed here. You can fight and you know what he'll do. I'll go with Glenn. I can do it."

"It's not about being able to do it, Michonne. You know my story. You know why I don't want you to go."

"I'll come back." She told me gently.

"Son of a bitch." I said and paced away from her.

"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened. You were almost killed." Hershel told Michonne before looking at Glenn. "Daryl was captured. And you and Maggie were almost executed."

"You can't stop me." Glenn stated.

"I'll knock you out if I have to." I shot at him. "Hershel is right."

"Rick would never allow this." Hershel added.

Glenn frowned at him, "You really think he's in any position to make that choice?"

"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori, too. The men that were here." He said and paused. "It isn't worth any more killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now."

"And go where?"

"We lived on the road all winter."

"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have a baby crying for walkers every four hours."

Listening, both were right. I could see both sides and I couldn't decide which one I wanted to support. But I was only half a part of the group. Rick was unsure but Hershel didn't seem like he would allow us to be kicked out.

"We can't stay here." Hershel told him.

"We can't run." Glenn stated.

I looked up as Maggie walked away. It seemed like the decision had been made.

"All right. We'll stay put." Glenn told us. "We're gonna defend this place. We're making a stand. Carl, you and I will go down to the tombs. We need to figure out where the breach is."

"You got it."

"You're gonna need some help." Michonne told him.

"No, in case anything happens, I need you out here." Glenn stated.

"Then I'll go." I told him.

"No. You stay here, too."

"You can't do this on your own." I shot at him.

"And you're in no condition to be fighting right now." He shot back at me. "Rest. Save your strength. We're gonna need it when he shows up." I nodded at him. Then he looked around at everyone here. "Who's on watch?" No one said anything. "Damn it."

"Hey." I said to him. "I'll go." He shot me a look. "I can shoot just fine and my lungs are in working condition. I won't do anything stupid and you can trust me."

He nodded, "Okay."

Looking at Hershel, I stepped toward him. "The baby's mother." I said softly. "Was she Lori?" He nodded at me. "Was she his wife?" He nodded again. I already assumed it but I wanted to know. "I'll be in the tower." I told him before starting to walk away.

"Caroline." He said stopping me, making me turn to him. "He may not say it but we need you."

"I'm not going anywhere." I smiled before walking away. "Where's my gun?" I asked Carl. "And my knife?"

"I'll get them." He told me.

Following him, I watched him get my things. "Thank you." He nodded before starting to walk away. "Carl?" I said stopping him. "I'm really sorry about your mom."

"Where's yours?" He asked.

"I have no idea. Probably dead." I replied.

He nodded, "Then I'm sorry, too."

"Hey." I said stopping him again. "I left my parents long before the world ended. But I found people and lost them, too."

"We've all lost someone." He told me.

"I know." I nodded. "I just…I get it, okay?"

He nodded, "Okay."

Fail.

Sighing, I found my way to the tower, climbing up to the top, looking out over the prison grounds. My hand found my side, putting slight pressure as it ached. But I was grateful that my head wasn't hurting. Rolling my shoulder, the stitches in my arm pulled, making me hiss with pain. Gently touching them, I sighed, lowering my arm as I started to circle the tower, taking in everything around us. He was coming, but after what happened he would need to rally and prepare. It would buy us maybe a day. He knew where we were. He knew that we had nowhere to go. This place could be made secure. We could survive here. Glenn was right when he said we had to fight but we still had to be smart about it.

Hearing steps, I faced the door before relaxing as Maggie came into view. "Hey."

"Hey." She replied.

For a while she just walked with me, circling as we made sure we were still safe.

"Will you tell me your story?" She finally asked me.

I met her eyes, smiling, "Will you tell me yours?"

She smiled sadly at me, "You don't trust very easily do you?"

Laughing, I averted my eyes, "Maggie, it took me all of one second to agree to help save you and Glenn. I didn't hesitate. I didn't question. I just agreed. If that's not trust, I don't know what is. I simply don't divulge a lot of information about myself to people who may still kick me out."

"We're not kicking you out." She told me.

"You don't know that." I retorted. "Rick's in charge, right? What he says goes, right?"

"He's struggling right now."

"I know." I nodded. "I get it. I understand. That's why I'm not going to fight him. He's not in a good place. I know what that feels like."

There was a long pause before she spoke again, "Will you tell me your story?"

Laughing, I looked at her, "Why do you want to know?"

"Because everybody has one."

"It's not because you want a distraction from whatever happened to you in Woodbury?"

She smiled, "Maybe that too."

Laughing lightly, she moved to my side, "Okay." Taking a deep breath, I tried to decide where to start. "Want my story from before this started or the story that got me here?"

"Whatever you want to tell me."

Laughing, I shook my head, "I don't want to tell you anything." She looked at me sadly. "But if I want in and if you want me to tell you, than I will."

"I don't want to pressure you."

"Then I'd prefer to keep my story to myself."

"Why?" She asked. "Is it that bad?"

My expression turned dark as I looked at her, "I think I can focus better if I'm on my own."

She just smiled at me, "Too bad."

Remaining silent, I kept watching and circling. She did the same but I felt like she was watching me and not our surroundings. She was trying to figure me out. Trying to get me to say something that I just didn't. My beginning was…whatever…but what got me here was nothing I wanted to talk about. I didn't want to talk about the dead. I didn't want to relive that pain.

"I was a CVT in Atlanta." I told her softly. "I was born and raised in Minnesota but I got tired of the cold and I wanted a break from my parents."

"How come?"

I smirked at her, "Because they loved me too much."

"They were smothering you?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I loved my parents but I needed a change. I needed to just go and be on my own. I wanted to know that I could do it. And I could." I smiled. "I ended up in Atlanta and found a clinic to work in that was more like a dysfunctional family. I loved it. I had friends. I had a nice apartment."

"No pets?"

I shook my head, "No." Sighing, I laughed a little. "I was dedicated and addicted to my work. I was there more often than not. It was a clinic and a boarding facility so there was always plenty to do. We had kennel attendants to deal with the boarders, but I picked up shifts or helped out when they needed it." I said and paused. "I loved what I did. It didn't pay much and it really is an underappreciated job, but I had a passion for it and I was happy with what I had."

"That's all anyone can ask for."

I nodded, "And then the world went to hell."

"Did you have a group?"

It took me a long moment to reply. Remembering. "No." I told her. "No, I – uh – I ran into a couple of my coworkers at the clinic when it started. I couldn't leave the animals in cages to starve to death."

"They didn't stick with you?"

"No. They were looting. So was I. My dad had tried to warm me about what was happening so I was slightly prepared. I was armed. I had a few days' worth of food and water." I paused. "When I was done with the animals I started to load up on everything I might need for first-aid or pain. Then we left." I told her. "My plan was to drive back up to Minnesota and join my family. But I obviously didn't make it. I drove until I ran out of gas."

"All alone?"

"No." I smiled.

 _Find me again, Linny. I'll be waiting for you._

I cleared my throat. "I found a companion. His name was Mozzie. He was a German Shepard that had been boarding at the clinic. He stuck with me when I escaped. But then – and now I'm…" I said trailing off.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." I told her. "God I'm sorry. I'm sorry every fucking day. I'm sorry and I'm angry and I'm sad. He was my best friend. He protected me and kept me warm. He fought with me and made me laugh. He was such a good dog." Tears were coming again. "He was with me for months. We survived by scavenging. Eating the occasional squirrel and rabbit when he managed to catch one. He took care of me when I was at my lowest." I felt myself growing distant. "I was always the one taking care of people. I liked taking care of people. But Moz…he – he took care of me."

"I'm sorry." She replied.

Since I'd already started, the rest started to just pour out. "Then I met Ben," I said softly, her eyes moving to me, "and his daughter Hannah. She was five and she was beautiful. And Ben – he – he was pretty much the kindest man I'd ever met. He gave too much and asked for too little. He was a good person who had managed to stay hidden from the world." I paused thinking of the cabin. "He took me in when I tried so hard to not let him. He made me feel for him. It took months but I finally let him in and I fell in love with him. We were the perfect little family." I smiled, getting her to smile back at me. "For a while anyway. Our biggest argument was always what we would do if anyone showed up. I said kill them. He said give them a chance." Looking at her, I took a deep breath, "I've killed people, Maggie. It was always in self-preservation. But I wasn't going to risk Ben and Hannah."

"We've all done things." She told me gently.

"We have." I nodded. "Only then the day came when people showed up and they wanted what we had, and we had a lot. We had food and a home and animals and a garden. We had everything we needed and they wanted it. While I was fighting them, Ben was protecting Hannah inside the cabin. At some point, a fire started and it killed not only the people we were fighting against but Ben and Hannah as well. Mozzie was inside with them. All of them died in that fire."

"Linny." She said softly.

"I wasn't there and they died." I went on with anger. "I killed the people responsible and then I tried to run but I couldn't. The dead were coming and I was going to die. I wouldn't have cared but I was found by the Governor's men. I was brought to Woodbury and I was just so sad and angry all the time that I just kept killing. I didn't care who they were or what they did, if the Governor said they had to die than they died and I didn't think twice. I was actually starting to find pleasure in it." Scoffing, I shook my head, meeting her eyes. "Then Michonne and her friend showed up. I talked to her and she triggered something in me. I didn't want to be a killer. I wanted to be safe and happy like I was. I wanted to keep my promise." I said and paused, looking at my hands. "I wanted people who didn't ask me to kill. I didn't want to be a murderer anymore. I just wanted to feel better!" I yelled. "I just wanted to feel better. And something about her made me feel better and I knew that I had to get out of there. So I did. And now I'm here."

"I am so, so sorry." She told me, tears in her eyes.

Straightening, I pushed all my emotion down, "Yeah, well, shit happens and I guess we just have to move on from it. Otherwise it'll just haunt us."

"Is it haunting you?" She asked.

I met her eyes, "Every damn day."

She stepped closer to me, putting her arm around me. "You're accepted, Caroline." She told me, making me tense. "You're also forgiven." She added, making my emotions push back. "You need to forgive yourself. Bad things happen and people react differently. Shutting down is easy. Facing it is the hard part. But you're strong and you can handle it. Just face it."

Sighing, I leaned my head against hers, "Thank you."

We just stood there for a long time, not saying anything. I had nothing left to say and I didn't want to hear about what happened to her. I didn't want to know what she had lost or who. I didn't want to think about any of it. I just wanted to forget and move on. Carrying Ben and Hannah and Mozzie was getting so exhausting. But being here, helping these people, it was slowly lifting the burden of them. I never wanted them to be a burden and despite Maggie telling me to forgive myself, I didn't think I ever could. It was still my fault that they were dead. It was still all on me.

"I've lost everything." I whispered, not even meaning to say it out loud.

Maggie simply whispered back, "Now you've found something."

Turning, I wrapped my arms around her neck, shaking and silently crying as I hugged her as tightly as possible. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Linny." She told me. "You're accepted. You're home."

Laughing, I leaned away from her, wiping the tears. "You don't even know me."

"I can tell you're a good person. Don't fight it. You're one of us now."

"And Michonne?"

She nodded. "Her too."

Nodding, I hugged her again, "I hope you don't mind reminding me of that every once in a while. I'm kind of broken."

"Not at all." She told me. "You may be broken but now you've got us to help put the pieces back together."

I let her go again, my emotions under control, "There are a lot of them."

She simply smiled at me, "I like a challenge."

Laughing, I nodded at her, once again looking out at the prison yard. Taking a deep breath, the sweet air filled my lungs and for a moment everything seemed right in the world. It may have only lasted that one moment, but it was something. It was a start. But all my anger and depression was just under the surface, hidden from plain sight but able to be reached at any moment. But I would need my anger before too long. When the Governor arrived I was ready to give him all I got. I would help Glenn plan and fortify this place. I would protect it just as I should have protected the cabin and my family.

God help anyone who tried to take it from me.

* * *

 **THANK YOU Kara315 for your reviews! They are VERY MUCH appreciated!**


	13. Get Ready

**Chapter Thirteen: Get Ready**

Heading into the prison, Maggie and I were talking, laughing about something. She was a good person. I never thought in a million years that I'd meet genuinely good people who lived in a good place who did good things. There was no killing here. There was no constant fighting or delusions of how the world was. Everyone here got it and accepted it. More than that they had accepted me and that was everything. I would do anything for them to decide to keep me. To keep us.

"How are you feeling?" Hershel asked me.

"Better." I nodded at him. "You've raised an amazing daughter."

He smiled at me, "Thank you."

Maggie put her hand on my shoulder before walking away, disappearing into a cell. Hearing a cry, I looked up to see the blond and the baby coming. Smiling, I couldn't take my eyes off of the cooing baby girl. She was beautiful and a miracle. Thinking of Rick, I couldn't help but feel a wave of depression. He was as broken as I was. Even more so since his pain was much fresher than mine.

"What's your name?" I asked the blonde.

"Beth." She smiled at me.

Nodding, I took the baby's hand, "And hers?"

She smiled down at her charge, "Her name is Judith."

"Judith." I smiled. "Can I hold her?"

She looked at her father before she nodded, handing me the baby. Laughing lightly, I stared down at her as she looked up at me, cooing every once in a while. She truly was a beautiful baby. I didn't want to imagine what she had gone through in her short life. What others had gone through to bring her into this world.

"She's beautiful."

"She really is." Beth said as she gently gripped one of her tiny feet.

"Rick didn't want her holding Judith." Carol said stepping up us, attempting to take her from me.

I frowned and shifted away from her, "He's not here right now and I would never harm his child."

"We don't know you." She shot at me.

Laughing lightly, I grinned at her, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've taken an immediate disliking to me."

"You are part of the reason Daryl left." She frowned.

"Are you sweet on him?" I smirked at her. She glared at me. "And for the record. I was unconscious when he took off. More than that, he saved my life. The only reason he isn't here is because of his fucking brother."

"Language." Beth scolded me.

"Sorry." I smiled at her before looking at Carol again. "And I'll be more than happy to kill him the next time I see him." She narrowed her eyes at me but didn't say anything. Smiling, I nodded at her, then looked to the entrance of the tombs as Glenn and Carl came out. "Here." I said handing Judith back to Beth. "Carl." I said rushing forward, they both were covered in blood and bits of walker. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded at me as I lifted his chin.

"You sure?" I asked.

He offered a small smile, "Yeah."

"Okay." I said and looked at Glenn. "Well?"

"The tombs outside the boiler room are overrun again." He replied.

"That whole section had been cleared." Beth stated.

"It's a steady stream of walkers." Carl added.

Frowning, I put my hand on his shoulder, looking at Glenn.

"He did good." Glenn told me.

"Not the point." I frowned.

"You just got here." He replied. "He's not yours, Caroline."

"Again, not the point, he's just a kid." I shot at him.

"I'm all right." Carl told me.

Nodding, I sighed, looking at Hershel.

"We're wasting time." He told us. "The Governor is supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers."

"Trapped between a rock and a hard place." Carol stated.

Glenn looked annoyed, "For the last time, running is not an option."

"Glenn, if the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here." Carol said joining Hershel's side.

"Or until some fence gives way." Beth added.

"What if one of them herds is passing through? Or settled?" Axel asked.

"Can't handle that with just the few of us." Carol stated.

"Okay. All right, we need – we just need to scout the far side of the prison. Find out what's going on." Glenn attempted to compromise.

"You're going out there?" Hershel asked.

"Take a car and make it quick." He replied.

"I'll drive." Axel offered.

"No, you stay here. Help with the fortifications. I'll take Maggie."

Hershel spoke kindly to him, "You sure she's up to that?"

Glenn just looked at him before walking away. Hershel crutched toward me. His expression was worried. Looking around, I didn't see Michonne anywhere. Unsure of where she went, I simply met Hershel's eyes, waiting for him to say something.

"What do you think?" He asked me.

"About what?" I countered.

He sighed, "You know what about."

Taking a deep breath, I was honest with him, "I agree with Glenn. It'll suck but if we plan it right than we can win against him. This place is large and there is no way that he can take it if we're prepared to keep him at bay."

"You want to fight him. I understand that. But we aren't ready for the kind of fight that you think is coming."

"You can be." I told him. "If we leave, what do you think will happen to the next group of people that come across this place? What if they settle and then the Governor comes and wipes them out? That would be on us because we were too afraid to fight him." I went on. "I'm not afraid, Hershel. I'm ready to fight him and I believe that we stand a chance."

Glenn came back out, walking past us all as he moved from the prison. Hershel quickly started to follow him. Going to Maggie's cell, I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. She was clearly upset. I didn't know them well but before they were taken they were happy. But whatever happened to them in Woodbury affected her more than she was willing to admit.

"You let me talk. I'll listen if you need to do the same." I told her.

She smiled up at me, "Thank you, but I'll be alright."

"Okay." I told her stepping away. "But the offer stands."

"Thank you." She told me again.

Hearing a truck drive off, I didn't see Carl and Hershel hadn't come back in. Unable to stay inside where everyone was quiet and angry, wanting to run and abandon the place they'd managed to make a home, I went outside seeing Carl at the gate and Hershel looking out at the fence line.

"What do you see?" I asked as I stepped up to him.

"Rick." He stated.

Sighing, I looked, seeing him pacing, doing whatever he needed to do.

"You lost people." He stated, making me look at him. "Was it someone you loved?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"What happened?"

"I don't think we know each other well enough for me to simply blurt out all my personal shit." I frowned at him.

"Please?"

Sighing, I nodded, giving him the short version. "I found a man and his daughter. I fell in love. We were a family. They burned to death in a fire caused by people who wanted what we had."

"Were you there?"

"For all but the fire." I told him sadly. "I was in the woods killing the people who had tried to take our home. But there were others at the cabin, all of them died in the fire."

"Then you understand what he's going through more than any of us." He told me.

I frowned at him, "You didn't lose anyone you loved?"

"I did." He replied. "But at the time I was in a completely different mindset. The pair of you lost people you loved, didn't see it, but saw what happened after."

"It's not the same." I replied with a hard tone.

"I know." He nodded. "But I need you to come talk to him with me."

"No. He doesn't like me and I don't really care much for him."

"He's grieving. So are you."

"Aren't you all grieving for the people you've lost?" I frowned at him.

"It's not the same." He replied. "Rick's wife died during childbirth. They weren't in a good place and now he lost her, has a baby, and an entire group to protect. He won't admit it, but he needs help. You're the best suited for that right now."

"Bullshit." I frowned at him. "I'm not going to let you exploit my pain to help him with his."

"You want to stay and fight. He will, too. But he needs some help."

"If you want to help him than do it yourself." I said and turned away from him.

"Caroline!" He called after me, making me stop and look at him. "We don't know each other well. But if you want to stay than you will have to be a part of this group. Now, I'm asking for your help. Something tells me you're not the type to turn away when someone needs and asks for it."

Sighing, I nodded, "No, I'm not. At least I didn't used to be."

"Be her again. No one will listen to reason so I need your help. Help me keep this group alive."

Sighing, I smirked at him, "Damn."

He smiled, "Come on."

Laughing lightly, I followed him, watching him carefully as he crutched to the fence. We couldn't see Rick anymore and he started to yell his name. He kept yelling it and the woods still remained unmoving and quiet. Where was he? What the hell was he doing out here?"

"I don't think he's coming." I stated.

"What do you think he's going through?"

"Hell." I replied. "He's seeing her, Hershel. For a moment he thought I was her. He's broken. I'm not sure what I can do for him."

"You'll help him."

Sighing, I nodded, yelling, "Rick!" Nothing. "Rick, please!" Then there was movement, Rick appearing from the woods, looking like hell. "Jesus, Rick."

He came to the fence looking annoyed with us.

"You know I wouldn't have hobbled all the way down here if it wasn't important." Hershel told him. "Are you coming back soon? Glenn's on the warpath. Smart as he is, he can't fill your boots. I'm afraid he's reckless. We need you now more than ever."

"Well, if you're so worried about him, you lead." He replied. "Hell, let her lead."

"I don't want to lead, Rick." I told him.

"What are you doing out here?" Hershel asked him.

"I've – I've been – I've got…stuff out here. Stuff." Rick replied still detached from the real world.

"How much longer do you need?"

"I don't know. I don't –"

"I know what you're going through, Rick." I told him gently. "I want to help you."

"So do I." Hershel told him. "Is there anything we can help you with?"

Rick's eyes moved to mine and for a moment I wasn't sure who he was seeing. Then his eyes were on Hershel. "I saw something. Lori. I saw Lor – I'm seeing Lori." He said and paused. I nodded at him, feeling for him. "Look, I know that it's not really her. But there's got to be a reason. It's got to mean something, you know."

"Was it her on the phone?" Hershel asked.

Frowning, I didn't know what he was talking about, but Rick did.

"Yeah. Shane too at the town."

I knew that moment. That was right before he shot me. He was hallucinating. I can't say I'd had many hallucinations but I did have phantom feelings all the time.

"Do you see them now?" Hershel asked. "You're looking for them."

"I'm waiting."

"For what?"

"I don't know. Something. There's an answer. I know it doesn't make sense. Well, it does, it can make sense. I mean, I think in time it will make sense."

"It's never going to make sense." I told him softly, getting him to look at me. "Rick, it'll never make sense and what you're waiting for will never come." He just frowned at me. "I know where you are, Rick. I'm there, too. I waited, too, Rick. But no one is coming. She's gone and she isn't coming back. Even though you see her, she's just haunting you. She isn't going to give you any answers."

"She might." He told me matter-of-factly. "She might."

"Rick…? Come on in. You need rest. It's not safe out here."

"You do need rest." I told him. "But you also need to talk about it. For your own sake. For your sanity."

"I can't. I can't."

He turned away, going across a makeshift bridge that led across the river.

"Rick." I called after him. "Rick, please, I can help you."

"I don't need any help." He replied.

"You do, Rick. Let me help you." I called after him.

In the next moment there was gunfire and I swiftly pulled Hershel to the ground. Looking up, the Governor had arrived. Keeping close to Hershel, I pulled my gun out, starting to fire on anyone I saw. The others started to fire back as well. Lifting myself out of the tall grass, I saw Michonne by the bus, her sword drawn and ready. Then my stomach dropped as a big truck came barreling down the road, breaking through the gates. They parked it in the yard and opened up the back, letting the dead spill from inside of it.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I said as I looked at them. "Do you have a gun?"

"Yes." He said pulling it out.

Taking a deep breath, I met his eyes, "Let's bring it." Gunfire kept going off, aiming anywhere we were firing from. "Hershel." I said as the dead started to wander our way too.

"I'm sorry, Linny." He told me.

"I'm not asking for an apology." I shot at him. "Just be ready."

"Hershel! Linny! Get the hell out of there!" Rick yelled.

Shooting the dead, they had fanned out, seeming to come from every direction. Hearing trucks moving away, I looked to see the Governor and his men leaving, nearly hitting Glenn as he raced back onto the prison grounds.

Getting up, I looked down at Hershel, "Stay down. I'll kill as many as I can. Don't show yourself unless you have to."

"Linny." He said with worry, looking up at me.

"I've got this." I smiled at him.

Then I was moving, shooting the dead until I ran out of bullets. Pulling my knife free, they were coming from every direction, making me stab at a continuous rate, trying to stay alive and kill as many of them as I could. Swinging my arm, I knew I was going to be too late, seeing the walkers' teeth about to bite down on me. Only then it's head was blown away. Looking back toward the prison, Carol was breathing hard as I spotted her. Laughing, I nodded at her.

"Linny!" Michonne yelled, cutting down two before she was to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I told her. "Hershel." I said and was running back toward him. Between me and Michonne, we managed to cut several more down before we got to him. "Come on, Hershel." I told him, getting him onto his feet.

Then Glenn was there, pushing the door open as Michonne and I got him inside of it. Jumping into the truck bed, Glenn took off back toward the prison. Maggie and the others met us when we finally stopped, the girls rushing to their father.

"Thank you." I told Carol.

She nodded at me, "You're welcome."

Looking out at the yard, it was swarming with the dead. Feeling like we'd killed several, it didn't seem to matter. They were everywhere. Looking around, everyone was grateful that everything was okay. At the same time I could see the disappointment on all their faces. They'd all worked so hard to clear the yard and make a home here only to have it reversed in just a matter of minutes.

"We'll clear it again." I said and looked at Maggie.

Then Rick was walking toward us, Daryl and Merle was with him. Daryl greeted everyone. They were all so happy to see him, Carol practically in tears at the sight of him. It made me wonder about them. But then he met my eyes and he smiled and nodded at me.

"Linny." He said stepping up to me.

"Daryl." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Last time I saw you, you were saving my life."

"Yeah. Sorry. I thought I belonged somewhere else."

I let him go, "Bullshit."

He lifted his chin, nodding lightly, "And what the hell are you still doing here?"

"I found where I belonged." I smiled.

He pulled me against him again. "Glad you're okay."

"You, too." I said squeezing him tightly.

"Well, well, well, princess. You're looking a little hellish." Merle said showing himself.

In the next second I'd closed the distance between us, punching him hard across his jaw. Screaming at him, my waist was grabbed and I was forced away from him, struggling to reach him. Merle now looked almost afraid as his brother pushed against his chest.

"I was there, too, princess. I helped save you." He told me.

"You've tried to kill me more than once. Sorry if I don't believe that you would ever try to save me." I shot back at him.

"It's okay." Rick told me softly.

"It's not okay." I told him, shrugging out of his embrace, going back inside. "Nothing about this is okay."

Everyone moved inside, gathering to decide what our next move was. Michonne and I hung just outside of the group, not feeling like we had a say in anything. Not yet. We listened as Hershel filled him in on what he had missed while he was searching for something that just wasn't there.

"We're not leaving." Rick stated.

Hershel looked annoyed, "We can't stay here."

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asked. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds."

"We can't even go outside." Beth added.

"Not in the daylight." Carol added next.

"If Rick says we're not running, we're not running." Glenn stated. He didn't want to run any more than Rick did. Any more than I did.

"No, better to live like rats." Merle said as he looked up in the recreation area between the bunks and hallway.

"You got a better idea?" Rick shot at him.

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night and lived to fight another day." Merle told him. "But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of the prick." Daryl stated.

Laughing lightly, I ran my fingers through my hair, "You should be."

"I'm with her." Merle stated, pointing at me.

"I don't need your help." I shot at him.

"Calm down, princess."

"Shut the fuck up, Dog." I spat at him.

"You're a real piece of work." He said pointing at me.

"Get to the point." Rick interjected.

Merle nodded, looking at Daryl who had shifted just a little closer to me. "The truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground about this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

Rick looked at me, I sighed and nodded.

"Let's put him in the other cell block." Maggie said as she glared at him.

"No. He's got a point." Daryl said defending his brother.

She looked at Merle, "This is all you. You started this."

"What about her?!" He yelled and pointed at me. "She worked for him, the same as me."

"She helped save our lives." Maggie shot back.

"What difference whose fault it is?" Beth interrupted. "What do we do?"

"I said we should leave. Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here." Hershel told us.

"We know your opinion." I said with annoyance. "I'm sorry." I added quickly. "But it's too late for that." Then Rick was walking away.

"Get back here!" Hershel yelled at him. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

He kept walking. Sighing, I turned and left, following the sound of Rick's retreating steps. Hearing steps behind me, I glanced behind me to see Carl following. Catching up to Rick, I found myself in one of the areas where shipments were received. Pallets were put up against the sides of it. It wasn't much cover but it was still better than nothing.

Stepping next to him, we took in the walkers that were snarling and roaming the yard. They were attempting to get into the main area of the prison. The Governor had struck again. Carl stepped onto my other side and I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing, but I knew what he was feeling. I knew that emptiness. I knew what it was like to see someone who wasn't there anymore. If they were going to go up against the Governor – if _we_ were – then he needed to find some sort of peace or he would risk everyone he was trying to keep alive.

"Do you see her?" I asked him. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Do you see her now?" He shook his head. "I know what it's like, Rick." I told him softly. "I know what it's like to have your world crash down around you and you have no power over the outcome. It all just…ends." He bowed his head. "But it's not the end. You have people here who need you. They are looking out for you but now they are clearly looking for you to lead them. They want you to make the right choice and you're out here looking at walkers in the yard."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He shot at me.

"You don't know the first thing about me and I'm not trying to know the first thing about you. All I'm telling you is that if you want to go up against the Governor you need to make that decision now. You need to get out of your head. You need to let your dead wife go because even though she's gone she will still take everything from you."

"You don't know me." He frowned at me. "You don't know her."

"You're right. I didn't know her." I said crossing my arms as I faced him. "But I know grief, Rick. I know what it looks like. I know what it tastes like. And I know the destruction it can cause."

"You don't know me." He repeated.

Nodding, I stepped away from him. "You're right. I'm just a stranger who you may or may not let into your little family. Because I'm going to ask you to let us stay. Michonne and me. I'm going to ask that of you and in turn I will fight like hell to help you out of this mess with the Governor."

"I'll take that into consideration." He nodded at me.

Sighing, I looked at Carl who was looking at me like I was the enemy. Offering him a small smile, I nodded at him, "I'm really sorry about your mom."

"I am, too." He replied.

Turning, I walked away, hearing only silence from behind me. Going back into the cell block, everyone looked like they were on a mental overload. Everyone knew what the Governor was capable of and they were afraid. They had every right to be afraid.

"You okay?" Michonne asked me.

I nodded at her, "I feel surprisingly good actually."

"What did you say to him?" She asked.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair, "Nothing that he wanted to hear or appreciated."

"He's been through more than one person should." Hershel told me with a small smile.

"So have I!" I unintentionally yelled at him. "Look at me! You have no idea what I've been through. What I've done. Who I've lost. You don't know me. And I don't know you." I went on looking at them all. "I don't know the first thing about any of you and yet I'm willing and able to fall in line. I'll do whatever I can to help you fight the Governor but I will not stand by a leader that may not have any business being one anymore." Breathing hard, I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry. But I know what they'll come here to do. We have two options. Which one are you gonna choose?"

There were steps again and I looked over my shoulder to see Rick. He was looking determined, "We fight."

Falling in step behind him, he moved further into the cell block, "What's your plan?"

"You fought for him. What do you think?" He asked.

"What do I think?" I frowned at him. "Why are you asking me what I think?"

"Because you fought for him." He told me slowly.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair again, "Fine." He motioned toward me to say something. Looking at everyone, their eyes were all on me. "Okay. They are going to come in with guns blazing. They are going to break everything down and they are going to blow this place to shreds. Merle was right, the truck was just him ringing the doorbell." I said and paused. "They have the weaponry for it and they will not hold back. The Governor is ruthless and he will come here and kill all of you. He's not used to losing. So if you want any chance at winning we need to outsmart him. It'll take a lot of work and we will have to fight it out to make the best plan possible."

"But you think we stand a chance?" Maggie asked.

Looking at her, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before I nodded, "I think we do."

"What about Caesar?" Merle piped up. "What about Karen?"

Looking at him, I clenched my jaw, "We aren't going after Woodbury. We're going after the madman who leads them. And you should be going down with him."

"Linny." Daryl said stepping toward me.

"No." I said glaring into his face. "You have no idea what's he's done."

He nodded, "I know. But he's my brother."

Sighing, I put my hand across my forehead, meeting his eyes with dampness in mine. "You don't understand." I told him softly.

"Then tell me." He replied softly.

"No." I said and gently pushed him away from me. "Right now we need to fight the Governor. Not each other."

He nodded but stayed near me.

Rick nodded, looking at Maggie, "Take watch. Eyes open, head down. Field's filled with walkers." Then he addressed everyone. "I didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep Maggie on watch."

"I'll get up in the guard tower, take out half them walkers, give these guys a chance to fix the fence." Daryl added.

"I'll help him." I added.

"Or we use some of the cars to put the bus in place." Michonne added.

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets." Hershel stated.

"So we're trapped in here." Glenn told us. "There's barely any food or ammo."

"Been here before." Daryl told him. "We'll be all right."

"That's when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest."

"Man, we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it."

"Hey." Rick shot at them.

"All y'all."

"Seriously, Rick, I don't think Merle living here is really gonna fly." Glenn stated.

"I'm with him on this one." I said stepping closer to him. "I have lived with him and it wasn't fun. Sleeping with one eye open gets really old."

"I can't kick him out."

"I wouldn't ask you to live with Shane after he tried to kill you." Glenn countered.

Looking at Rick, he met my eyes but didn't say anything.

"Merle has military experience. He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother."

"What if we solve both problems at once? Deliver Merle to the Governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce."

"That won't work." I said shaking my head. "You're right that Merle will officially be labeled a traitor. The Governor isn't going to care what happens to him anymore. He'll kill him along with the rest of us. He's not going to make a truce and if he does it will only be a front to something worse."

"She's right." Merle agreed, smirking at me.

"Look somewhere else." I shot at him.

"Enough." Rick said stepping toward me.

Sighing, I nodded ta him, "Sorry."

"Don't be." He told me. "I get it."

The group slowly dispersed, leaving me standing there alone with Rick. The only people I could really hear were Daryl and Carol talking above us. Little Judith was cooing as her favorite person rocked her. Crossing my arms, I looked at Rick, not really sure what to say. He just nodded and walked away from me. Sighing, I scuffed my shoe against the floor.

"You okay?" Michonne asked as she stepped up to me.

"I don't know." I told her. "Maybe we just don't know each other well enough to make this work."

"Which 'we' are you talking about?" She frowned.

"All of us." I replied before walking away.

Finding myself on the catwalk, I sat down, leaning my back against the fence, looking out at the still zombie-infested yard. Planning our next move was harder than I thought it would be. I had a clear idea of how I wanted it to go down. I was here because I knew the Governor and what he was capable of. Rick was stubborn and he clearly still wasn't sure about me, and that was fine. He didn't have to be sure about me. I only wanted to help save him and his people. I let him shoot me for god's sake.

Before long, steps approached and I raised a brow, sighing as Michonne sat next to me, "We know each other well enough."

"Which 'we' are you referring to?" I smirked back at her.

"We know each other well enough." She repeated with furrowed brows.

Sighing, I nodded, "Maybe it's time we move on."

"To where?"

"I don't know."

"We can't leave. We may not know these people well enough yet but I feel like we need to see this through. With them."

Nodding, I looked at her, "And you don't want to leave Andrea just yet."

She shook her head, "I'm not ready."

"I'm ready." I told her sadly. "I'm so ready to leave all of this behind. Go to the other side of the world and try it there. Here there are just too many memories."

"You're not alone in that." She replied. "I'm pretty sure Rick is losing his mind."

"I know what that feels like."

She gently rubbed my back. "I know."

We were silent for a few minutes before there was commotion. Looking at Michonne, we both got to our feet and were running. Moving through the prison and out the doors, Rick was letting Andrea through the gate. As soon as she was through, Rick rushed to her, pushing her toward the inner gate.

"Hands up! Turn around." He shot at her.

"What?" She said clearly surprised.

"Turn around now!" He told her. She did, all of us watching as he searched her, throwing her to the ground. "Get down on the floor. I asked if you were alone."

"I am." She replied.

He tore her pack from her body, tossing it aside before leaving her on her knees. She was defenseless and clearly afraid.

"Welcome back." He told her before yanking her back onto her feet. "Get up."

Moving to Daryl's side, I gripped his wrist. "Do you all know her?" I frowned.

"She's one of us." He nodded.

"She's his now." I told him with a dark expression.

He took my hand, "Come on."

We reached the others as Andrea and Carol were reuniting.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead." Carol told her.

Andrea just hugged her tightly before turning to the rest of them. "Hershel, my God. I can't believe this. Where's Shane?" She asked Rick who shook his head. "And Lori?" Rick just scoffed.

"She had a girl." Hershel told her. "Lori didn't survive."

"Neither did T-Dog." Maggie added.

Andrea looked devastated. "I'm so sorry. Carl."

Looking around the room. Everyone was being cold to her. She might have been one of them but they clearly thought she had betrayed them. She was with the Governor and he was looking to kill them. She was a part of it.

"Rick, I –" She started. Rick didn't say anything, averting his eyes from hers. "You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block." Glenn told her.

"There?" She pointed to the door, starting to walk toward it. "Well, can I go in?"

Rick shook his head, "I won't allow that."

"I'm not the enemy, Rick."

"We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."

"He said you fired first."

"Well, he's lying." Rick frowned.

"Bullshit." I shot at her in the same moment.

"Linny." Rick said with authority.

"What is she even doing here?" Andrea asked as she motioned to me.

"That's really none of your concern." I shot at her.

Rick stepped toward me, "Please?"

Sighing heavily, I nodded at him, "Sorry."

"It's alright."

"He killed an inmate who survived in here." Hershel told her.

"We liked him. He was one of us." Daryl added.

Andrea looked she almost didn't believe us, "I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."

"That was days ago." Glenn stated.

"I told you, I came as soon as I could." She repeated, all of us just looking at her. Then her eyes were on Michonne. "What have you told them?"

Michonne frowned, looking at me before her, "Nothing."

"Are you two ganging up on me?" She shot at us.

"No." I replied. "We don't have to."

She just shook her head, circling us, "I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed Caroline. He would have killed us." Glenn told her.

She pointed at Merle, "With his finger on the trigger. Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?" She said and paused. No one said anything. "Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done."

I laughed lightly, "Philip."

"But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out." She went on.

"There's nothing to work out." Rick told her. "We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will."

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you."

Merle chuckled, "You know better than that."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I told her, actually floored that she would think he would let us in. "You can't be this naïve."

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?" Hershel asked next.

"No."

"Then why did you come here?" Rick asked her. It was obvious that he truly wanted to know.

"Because he's gearing up for war." She replied. "The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

Laughing, I was feeling the anger building in my chest. Pacing away, Daryl gripped my arm, stopping me.

"I'll tell you what." He told her. "Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye."

"We've taken too much shit for too long." Glenn told her with conviction. "He wants a war? He's got one."

Andrea was starting to look defeated. "Rick. If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"You want to make this right, get us inside." He replied.

"No."

"Then we got nothing to talk about." He told her and walked away.

I looked around the group, "I got us in once. I can do it again."

Andrea's eyes were on me so quick, judging and glaring. "You're the reason people are dead. You got them in and people were killed."

"You weren't doing anything about it." I shot back.

"I didn't know." She retorted.

Scoffing, I nodded at her, "Exactly, Andrea. You didn't know. You think you sit at the right hand of the devil but you're not even in the same room. If you don't do something soon, you're going to just be another casualty of the shit he will rein down on all of us."

"You think you're some tough shit." She said stepping closer to me. "You think that because you lived there and left there that you have some inner knowledge of what's going on. But you're even below me."

Laughing, I took a step closer. "I may not have been in his inner circle, but I was sleeping with someone who is. I know more than you do. I know more than you think I do. I know things, Andrea. That's how I know you're going to die."

"Linny." Michonne said from behind me.

"Unless you do something soon. You are going to die." I added and walked away.

Finding myself back on the catwalk, all I wanted to do was be alone. A few minutes of peace and quiet so I could think. Andrea was a fool for thinking she could sway him. She was signing up for death by staying with him. She had no idea what she was getting into. What made it worse was that she actually thought she was helping. Bridging the gap between us and them. It wasn't going to happen. He was going to kill us if we didn't kill him. And I wasn't ready to die.

"Sorry." Rick said making me jump. "I'll leave you alone."

"I can be alone with you here." I told him gently.

He met my eyes, nodding at me before he came and stood next to me. He gripped the fence while I stood with my arms crossed taking it all in. I understood that he wanted to give her a chance. But I just didn't trust her. She was being manipulated. It was only a matter of time before she realized that. But by then she'd probably already be dead.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

Scoffing, I shook my head, "You don't want to know what I'm thinking. You'll still do whatever you want."

He shifted his feet, "I still want to know."

Meeting his eyes, I held them for a long moment, "I think we need to act. She isn't going to be able to sway him. He'll use her and then he'll kill her and he'll still come for us." He nodded. "What do you think about that?" I asked him.

"I think you're right." He replied. "But she's one of us. At least she used to be. We gotta let her try."

"Okay." I told him.

"You'll be ready for anything." He stated.

"I will."

"I'm gonna…" He started but stopped, dropping his eyes. "I'm gonna try and count on you. You know the way he works. You know what to expect."

"I do."

He met my eyes again. "I'm gonna try."

Smiling, I nodded at him. "It's okay to let people in, Rick. No matter how hard you want to push them away."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"Yes. And I haven't let anyone in for a long time."

"So how do you know it's okay?"

"Because I'm trying, too." I told him sadly.

He nodded and walked away. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. A fight was on the horizon and I couldn't help but feel exhausted already. This world would chew you up and spit you out if you weren't careful. But at some point enough had to be enough. I was a fighter. I would keep fighting. But I was tired.

"Hey." Daryl said softly as he walked toward me.

Smiling, I relaxed a little, "Hey."

"How you holding up?"

I shook my head, taking another deep breath, "I'm worried."

He nodded. "We'll be okay. We're all gonna make it."

"I know." I replied quickly. "I didn't nearly kill myself to die now."

"Do you wanna die?" He asked.

"Regularly." I replied nonchalantly.

"I'm serious." He stated with an air of annoyance.

Meeting his eyes, I repeated, "Regularly."

He stared at me, his brows furrowed as he worked his jaw a little. "How come?"

"When you lose everything, your life is all you have left, and sometimes it just seems easier to give that up, too." I replied.

"It's not."

"Still doesn't change the fact that sometimes I long for it."

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked gently.

I laughed lightly, shaking my head, "No. But thank you."

We stood there in silence until we heard voices, knowing that Andrea was leaving. Staying with Daryl, we walked to the entrance, seeing Glenn drive up and get out, leaving the engine running. Then he pulled out a gun, checking it before handing it to her. I don't know what he expected but neither a car or a gun was going to save her. It was wasted effort.

As soon as she was gone, it was obvious that her visit had done more than I'd expected. Everyone seemed sad and anxious. Merle and I seemed to be the only ones who didn't give a fuck what happened to her.

"Do you feel coldhearted?" Merle asked as he stepped up to me.

"No." I replied.

"Me neither." He added. "We're more alike than you think."

Glaring up at him, I was about to comment when Daryl stepped just in front of me, "Leave her alone, man. It ain't gonna happen. I ain't gonna let it."

Smiling, I pressed myself against the back of his shoulder. "What he said."

Merle just smirked and walked away. Daryl looked down at me, getting me to raise a brow at him. "He might be my brother, but there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna see you with him."

"I appreciate that." I smiled. "But it was never going to happen anyway. He's been coming on to me since the second he saw me. I've successfully kept him at bay so far. Also, he's tried to kill me more than once." I lifted my shirt, showing him the stitches in my side.

"That was him?" He asked pointing after his brother.

I nodded, "Yeah, but don't hold it against him. He's your brother after all." He frowned down at me. "Isn't that your biggest defense?" Putting my hand on his arm, I walked away.

"Caroline." He said from behind me, making me turn to him. "You're one of us now. You'll be treated the same."

Feeling anger again, I stepped up to him again, "And you left after you knew that he was the one to capture and beat Glenn and Maggie. So please don't tell me that your allegiance lies more with Rick and the group than with your own brother because you've already chosen him over them."

"Over us." He corrected. "I realized my mistake and I came back."

Nodding, I sighed, running my fingers through my hair before crossing my arms, "That's a start."

"It is."

Looking up at him, I narrowed my eyes, "You seem to have taken to me more than the others. Other than Maggie. Why is that?"

"You're a fighter." He replied, smirking before he walked away.

Smiling, I laughed lightly, shaking my head as I rolled my eyes. Seeing Michonne, I stepped up to her, knowing that she would be hurting right now. She was hoping to save her friend and now it would seem that she was going to lose her.

"How you holding up?" I asked her.

"I'm fine." She replied.

I put my hand on her forearm, her arms crossed in front of her, "You're not alone, Michonne."

"I know." She smiled.

"I know you know but I need you to still hear me. You are not alone. We are all in this together."

She wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you, Linny."

"No. Thank you." I replied.

Everyone was pretty quiet, the same thoughts going through everyone's head. The outcome was different for everyone but everyone was still thinking about the same thing. Except for maybe Judith. I was pretty sure that she was thinking about food and comfort and the smile on people's faces.

Finding myself sitting against the wall, we were all in a large circle, just sitting with each other. The sun was setting and the prison was growing dark. We had a fire lit, illuminating the room so we could watch each other's silent expressions. Looking up, Daryl was leaning on the second floors railing. Smiling up at him, he just nodded toward me. Sighing, the silence was feeling heavy, only then Beth started to sing. She had a beautiful voice. Knowing the song she was singing, I joined in on the second verse, getting people to look at me. But I didn't care. It was calming and I actually enjoyed singing. Despite how bad I was at it. Beth smiled at me, making me feel just a little more connected to her. It was a small reprieve from what was about to happen, but was welcomed and needed. We needed it more than we thought.


	14. Bonding

**Chapter Fourteen: Bonding**

It was still early, leaving the prison quiet, the only sound coming from the walkers in the yard. Having woken to crying, when it didn't stop, I got up to check on Judith. Rick was still sleeping soundly and no one else had gotten up to take her. Knowing I shouldn't, I couldn't help myself. She was crying and I was awake. Softly moving to her crib, I picked her up, cradling her as I took her away from the others so they could sleep. Something told me that it was going to backfire on me when he woke up to find her gone. To make it worse, I was holding her outside of the prison, having told no one where I was or that I had the baby.

I suddenly regretted my decision, only then I looked down at her, taking in her smiling face. The moment passed and I simply swayed with her, smiling as I cooed back at her. "You are going to grow up so strong. You've got a great daddy and an amazing brother. Not to mention a family that will take excellent care of you." The sound of the walkers was loud in the quiet. "You are completely un-phased by all this." I said softly.

"Hey!" Rick yelled, making me jump and immediately pull her against my chest.

Letting out a breath, I relaxed, "Jesus, Rick."

"What do you think you're doing?" He shot at me, taking his child. She started to cry and he started to rock her a little too hard.

"For already having a child, you clearly don't remember how to take care of a baby." I frowned at him. "She was perfectly safe. She hadn't woken you up yet and I thought I'd let you sleep."

"I already asked you not to touch her." He shot back at me.

"I'm not the enemy, Rick. The sooner you see that, the sooner I can help you." I told him angrily.

"I never asked for your help."

"Doesn't mean you don't need it."

He just glared at me, "Stay away from my daughter."

"Judith." I told him. "Her name is Judith."

Not replying, he turned and walked away. Feeling annoyed and guilty, I crossed my arms, looking out over the yard. I shouldn't have picked her up, but she was a baby for god's sake. I never thought I'd see another baby in my life. Now that I had, I just wanted to hold her and protect her and take joy in the fact that happiness was attainable. Only then I couldn't help but think of her mother. Lori. She died bringing her into this world. Without hospitals and proper medical care, even the beauty of childbirth was a risk.

"Hey." Daryl said as he stepped out.

"You seem to always be around." I smirked at him.

"Gotta keep tabs on everyone." He replied.

Smiling, I shook my head, "Pretty sure that that is not your job." He just shrugged. "I don't think that man likes me much."

"He likes you just fine." He replied, making me raise a brow at him. "Considering."

"Liar." I smiled at him. He just shrugged.

Going back inside, Maggie handed me breakfast, smiling at me as if she already knew what I'd done. Raising a brow, I sighed, nodding at her. Glenn stepped next to her, offering me a smile. Maggie had become a quick favorite of mine and Glenn was the sweetest. He was doing his best to help with everything that was going on. I respected and admired that. They truly were a family. Supporting one another. Looking out for each other. Proven every time they were in the same room. Even now as everyone slowly started to gather, breakfast was being enjoyed despite the looming danger.

"We need more weapons than what we have." Rick was telling the group. "I'm going to go try and find some more. I'm taking Carl with me."

Raising a brow, Daryl nudged me. Frowning up at him, he nudged me again. Sighing, I took a step forward, "If you want help, I'll go with."

"I don't." He replied shortly. "But you can come along if you'd like."

"Michonne?" I said looking at her.

"Yeah." Rick interjected. "She's coming, too."

Turning to Daryl, I handed him my partially eaten breakfast. "If this blows up in my face, I'm blaming you."

He smirked and nodded. Turning to the cell they'd been letting me use, I grabbed my gun and knife, strapping the knife holster around my thigh before placing my gun in the back of my pants. Looking at Michonne, she had her sword, putting the strap over her head. Smiling and nodding at her, we both walked from the prison, waiting outside for Rick and Carl to come out.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked me.

"No." I told her and laughed lightly.

When Rick came out, he didn't even pause as he passed us, "Let's go."

Following him, I ended up falling in step with Carl, catching him looking up at me. Smiling down at him, he just walked faster. Clearly I'd made a huge impression on both of them. I only risked my life for them and they still held me at arm's length. Well, most of them did.

Going to a car, Rick got in the passenger seat, with Michonne sitting behind the wheel. Carl and I exchanged a look before we got into the back. Looking at the boy next to me, he was looking out the window. Sighing, I met Michonne's eyes in the rearview mirror. She raised a brow at me before starting us out.

Everyone was quiet, making it awkward, wanting to break it but unable to think of something to say that would actually start a conversation. I didn't feel much like divulging any information, so we were quiet. Even when we came across a hitchhiker on the road, we simply drove past him. Part of me felt bad for him and that I should advocate for him. But I didn't.

Coming across wreckage in the road, Michonne slowed to a stop, looking at a man who was pinned underneath a truck that was on its side. We all exchanged a look before she attempted to move again, only to have the tires spin, sinking into the mud.

"Great." I said and was about to open the door when the dead started to slam against it, making me instinctively put my arm in front of Carl.

He pushed my arm away from him, making me clear my throat and take it back. Looking at Rick, he pulled out his knife, getting me to nod at him. Rolling the window down just far enough, we all started to stab the walkers in the head. As soon as they were dead, I moved to get out of the car again, only to have Rick stop me.

"No." He told me. "Wait here."

"Wait for what, Rick?" I shot at him.

"Carl." He said and both of them got out of the car.

"Is this a man verses woman thing?" I called out to him. He just looked at me through the window. "Well, this is fun." I told Michonne.

"They can handle it." She replied.

"I know this sucks, but you could at least pretend to be a little happier."

"They may still kick us out, Linny." She told me. "Rick may still kick us out."

"He needs us." I replied. "Whether he realizes it or not, he needs us."

"You're giving him more credit than he deserves." She retorted.

"No." I replied. "I'm simply putting trust in him."

She sighed, "Maybe you shouldn't."

"That's not fair." I frowned at her. "His wife is dead. He's grieving. We both are familiar with that. We have to give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Yours is a lot fresher than mine, Linny. No one gave me the benefit of the doubt."

"I will." I told her. "When we lose someone – because you know we will – I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

"You, too." She smiled at me over her shoulder.

I smiled back at her, "Thank you."

"Okay." Rick said patting the top of the car. "Let's go."

She lightly hit the gas, feeling traction before she drove out of the mud. Settling back into the backseat, Carl got in, looking at me with annoyance. Raising a brow at him, he just nodded and looked out the window. Rick motioned us forward and we were moving again.

Making it into town without anything else happening, it turned out that it was where Rick had lived before the outbreak. He had been a deputy. Driving to the Sherriff's station, we went in with bags for whatever guns we found. Going into the back where the armory was, we found the door ajar and the room was completely empty.

"This doesn't bode well." I stated, kicking around a shell on the floor.

"Are there any more?" Michonne asked.

"No." Rick stated.

Picking up a casing, I looked at Carl, getting him to look at me. Raising a brow at him, I tossed it at him. He caught it, smiling, before tossing it back. Grabbing a few more, I started to quickly toss them at him as he did the same. Ducking behind Rick, he did the same to Michonne, both of us blocked as we tossed them back and forth. About to throw another one, my wrist was grabbed and Rick pulled me from behind him. He raised a brow at me.

"Sorry." I told him sheepishly.

"I know a few places that might have a gun." He said and started to leave, though it was obvious that he was a bit discouraged.

Michonne punched my arm as we left, "What?" I asked her.

"That's not helping." She replied.

"It's helping me with Carl." I smirked at her. "And we all need to learn to have a little fun."

"Now's not really the time."

"Too bad. I'm gonna have a little fun regardless." I told her.

She sighed and hit me again, making me laugh and follow at the rear, looking over my shoulder, just in case something was following us. The building was clear but there was always a constant fear that a walker would be right behind you. Too often they appeared out of nowhere and it was too easy to become reckless. That's how people got killed.

Walking into town, it was as quiet as every other town I'd come across. That earie feeling that you were being watched. More often than not you were being watched by the dead. At time you were being watching by the living. More often than not, being watched by the dead was better than finding people. Though, sometimes it wasn't. My eyes drifted to Rick and Carl and I knew that sometimes people were better. They were good people. They were better.

My steps slowed as we passed some building ruins, inside of it there was a pile of burned bodies. I didn't like it. There was writing on the walls. _Clear_. What the fuck did that mean? There were even arrows on the ground. Coming round a corner, we all slowed, taking in the eelaborate booby-traps that someone had put up. Spears were jutting out everywhere, meant to skewer walkers, luring them in with distractions and sound.

"Looks like somebody already made this theirs." Michonne stated.

"Doesn't mean they found what we're looking for. Couple of the places are just up ahead. Let's get in and get the hell out of here." Rick stated.

"This doesn't seem like a bad idea to you?" I asked, reluctantly following them.

Rick looked at me but didn't say anything. We kept moving, attempting not to bump into anything.

"There. Tyrell's." Rick told us. "A shotgun and two handguns. License issued to Tyrell Debbs."

Hearing something, Carl pointed out a walker that was following us. Michonne moved to take care of it but Rick stopped her. "Wait. She'll get caught."

Watching, the walker came closer and we got to see the effectiveness of the booby-trap. She had skewered herself onto one of the spears. Only in the next second there was a gunshot, hitting her in the head. We were immediately running, my hand gripping Carl's shoulder, pulling him against me.

"Hands!" A man yelled, appearing on the rooftop with a gun pointed at us. We stopped and showed him our hands, though one of mine remained on Carl's shoulder. "Now you drop what you got and you go. Your guns, your shoes, and that sword. All of it. 10 seconds."

"Run for the car now." Rick told us.

"And leave you?" I frowned at him.

"10…" The man said.

"Dad."

"We need that rifle." Michonne added.

"…nine, eight…"

"I think I can get up there."

"You think?" I shot at her.

"…seven…six…"

"Carl, go." Rick told him, then met my eyes.

Nodding, I gripped Carl's shoulder harder as we moved, Rick returning fire as we moved for cover. Silence once again filled the street. Rick stepped away, looking around before looking up at the roof. He met my eyes again, shaking his head. Sighing, I felt anxious, keeping Carl against me.

"I'm fine." He said attempting to break away from me.

"Too bad." I said gripping him tighter.

In the next moment the man was in the street, shooting at Rick.

"Rick!" I yelled, pulling my gun free, ready to lie down cover fire. Only then there was another shot, hitting the man in the chest at close range. "Carl!" Rushing to him, I took his shoulder, making him face me. "What were you thinking?" I shot at him.

"I had it under control." He told me.

Rick put his hand against his son's shoulder, "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"I told you to run for the car. I didn't want you to have to do that."

"I had to." He replied.

"Next time listen to your dad." I shot at the kid.

"I don't have to listen to you." He told me.

My jaw clenched and I was ready to ream the kid out, but I didn't get the chance to.

"She's right." Rick told him. "And don't talk to her like that."

"Thank you." I told Rick, still frowning at his kid.

Rick bent down, checking the man, "He's wearing body armor. He's alive."

"Do we care?" Michonne asked.

It was a good question. Stepping up behind Rick, he took the helmet off of the man. It was obvious that he knew him.

"Yeah." He replied.

Looking around, there was an entrance nearby. He pointed to it. Nodding, I was already at the man's other side.

"Keep an eye out for booby-traps. Looks like he's gotten pretty creative so far."

"I thought we were just gonna get in and get the hell out of here." Michonne frowned.

"Michonne." I frowned up at her.

"I'm not leaving him on the street." Rick told her.

"Look, I know you said he helped you –"

"He saved my life." He shot at her. "He wasn't like this then."

"When did you say that?" I frowned.

"Linny." He said with annoyance.

"Why do you always say my name like I'm one of your kids?" I shot at him.

"I'm sorry." He told me. "Okay? Jesus, he has a son."

Michonne looked at the building, "You think he's in there?"

Rick moved forward, thinking and assessing what to do next. He looked at me, motioning toward the man again. Michonne played looked out, stopping us from stepping on the welcome mat. She pulled it back, showing barbed wire underneath it. Looking at Rick, he took a deep breath before we started up the stairs. Michonne went up first stopping us again as she discovered a trip wire at the top of them. Looking up, I saw the axe that would have hit us if she hadn't stopped us.

"Rick?" I said.

"Linny?" He replied.

"If I get axed, I'm going to turn and bite you."

"Fair enough." He smirked at me.

We slowly moved over the wire and into the space. Moving into a living room, my jaw dropped as we took in the weapon store that this guy had built. Carrying him to the cot he had, we laid him down as gently as possible before Rick zip-tied his wrists and ankles.

"Jesus." I said looking around.

"I showed him that weapons locker last year."

"And it had all of this in it?" Michonne asked.

"No, not even half. He's been busy."

Grabbing bags, Michonne, Carl, and I started to load up bags with as many weapons as we could. Not just guns but grenades and smoke bombs. I made sure to grab arrows for Daryl. He had everything here. This was amazing. This was everything we would need to fight the Governor.

Smiling, I was going to say something to Rick when I saw him looking at the walls. Slowly moving toward him, there was writing all over it, the word CLEAR written over and over and over again. Other words that didn't make sense. It looked like gibberish. Moving closer, Rick was standing in front of one of the few things that did make sense. DUANE TURNED. He stared for a long moment before he moved to a chest, opening it, rummaging around before he pulled out a radio. It was obvious that it triggered something in him.

"Rick?" I said softly.

"We're gonna wait for him to wake up. Make sure he's okay." He told us.

"He tried to kill us." Michonne frowned.

"He told us to go. He didn't know who we were."

"He tried to kill us and we didn't leave him for the walkers. He's had a good day. He doesn't need half of these guns. We do."

"We're waiting for him to wake up. That's it." Rick stated.

"Have you taken a look around this place? The axe, the spikes, the walls."

"You think he's crazy?"

"No. I think he's dangerous."

"Michonne." I said not wanting her to take it too far.

"I know him. He wasn't like this then."

"He already said we're waiting for him to wake up." I told her. "So we wait."

She frowned at me, but nodded. Stepping up to her, I sighed, glancing at Rick and Carl. They were standing in front of a well-drawn map that the man had made with chalk. It was the entire town. He really had been busy.

"Wouldn't you want to wait if it was someone you knew?" I asked her.

"I left my person behind and I got you." She told me. "I don't think I'd wait. I think I'd run before something worse happened."

I nodded, "I know. I can't say I'd wait either. But Rick clearly knows him and is connected to him. Something has been triggered and we need to let him go through it."

"I'm not arguing." She stated.

"Yet." I smirked.

Picking up a box of cereal, she motioned it toward me. Smiling, I was overly excited about it, taking a handful before she sat down and started to eat it.

"We're eating his food now?" Rick frowned at us.

Michonne shrugged, "The mat said welcome."

Laughing, I was about to make a comment but then Carl interrupted.

"I'm going on a run."

Rick frowned at him, "Where?"

"I thought maybe the one thing people didn't loot was cribs and there's that baby place that Mom's friend Sara ran. It's just around the corner." He replied.

"Carl."

"Dad, it's just around the corner. And there's all those walker traps."

"You're gonna need some help carrying the box." Michonne told him.

"What?"

"If you're gonna get a crib, you have to get the box. It's big and heavy. You're gonna need help carrying the box. You are getting a crib, right?"

"That's what I said."

"Then I'll go with him."

"Right there, that's the deal." Rick told him, getting a nod in response. "You get into trouble, you holler, okay? I'll hear it from here."

"Okay."

I stepped up to Michonne, "Be careful."

"I will."

"Both of you." I added, looking at Carl.

"I will." He said with annoyance before they both left.

"You didn't want to go with them?" Rick stated.

"If I did than who would look after you?" I smirked back at him. He scoffed, smirked, and nodded. "I clearly missed the story with this guy. Care to tell me again?"

"His name is Morgan. He saved me. He was the first person I saw when I woke up."

"Woke up?" I asked.

"I was in a coma after suffering a gunshot wound while on the job."

"Deputy, right?" I asked as we both moved around the apartment. He nodded. Laughing lightly, I smiled at him, "That makes sense."

He smirked, "Yeah." We kept looking until he broke the silence. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What's your story?" He asked.

Looking at him, meeting his eyes, I smiled, averting my eyes, "Not yet."

He nodded, "Okay."

"Thank you." I told him.

"For what?" He asked.

I smiled at him, "For not pushing."

He smiled, still looking at the home Morgan had created. "I'm sorry this happened to you." He told his friend.

"You'll fix it." I told him, stepping next to him.

He met my eyes, both of us smiling before there was a sound. Rick frowned, both of us turning, only to break apart as Morgan lunged at us. He backhanded me before attacking Rick. He swiftly defended himself, letting him fall to the ground.

"Do you know who I am?" Rick asked him. "Do you see who I am?"

"People wearing dead people's faces!" Morgan yelled attacking him again.

Rick forced him down, "Morgan, listen to me."

"No, I don't know you!"

"You do know me."

"I don't know you!"

He got up and lunged at Rick, a knife in hand, only I stepped in between them, taking the hit. Pain ran across my shoulder, though in the next second, Morgan was forced off of me, Rick spinning him into the wall.

"You saved my life, Morgan. You know me. Look at me." Rick told him.

Morgan hit him, shoving him away, making him fall onto his back. Rushing forward, I shoved Morgan out of the way, stepping in front of Rick. Morgan cried out and attacked me, his knife slashing toward me, leaning out of his way; he punched me, feeling pain against my side before he shoved me away from him. Then he was on top of Rick, attempting to stab him.

"You don't clear, man. You turn. You just die." Morgan was telling him.

Rick tried again, "You know me!"

"I don't know anyone anymore! You don't clear!"

Then his knife was in Rick's shoulder. Rushing forward, I kicked him in the face as hard as I could, forcing him off of Rick.

"Rick." I said kneeling next to him.

He gripped my shoulder as I pulled the knife out. He got to his feet, aiming his gun at Morgan. "You know me. You know me. You crazy son of a bitch."

"Please. Please kill me." Morgan told him with tears in his eyes.

Looking at Rick, I grabbed rope, once again tying Morgan's hands behind his back. As soon as it was done, I stepped away from him, shaking slightly as adrenaline coursed through me. Looking at Rick, I sighed, stepping up to him. He didn't say anything as I moved his shirt taking in the stab wound.

"Take this off." I told him, gently tugging on his shirt. He nodded while I found a first aid kit. Going back to him, he was struggling, only making it about halfway. "Here, let me help you." I told him.

Gently gripping the fabric, I couldn't help the grazing of flesh, my fingers running along the muscles of his shoulders. Not hating it, my cheeks flushed as I gently gripped him, pulling his shirt off of his wounded arm without moving his shoulder.

"Sit." I told him gently.

Rick was glaring at Morgan. "He's a completely different person."

"Can you blame him?" I asked with a smile. He looked up at me. "He lost his son, Rick. He's broken. You can understand that."

He nodded, wincing as I started to clean the wound. Using the alcohol, he handled it well, not making a sound as I cleaned in and around the wound. Bending over, I nonchalantly gripped his good shoulder, straightening with the gauze in my hands. Meeting his eyes, he cleared his throat, averting them from mine.

"Thank you." He said softly.

"You're welcome." I told him. "There." I added making sure the bandage was secure, running my hand along his chest, smoothing it out. "All done."

"You're turn." He said standing up, putting his shirt back on.

I waved him off, "I'm fine."

"Linny." He frowned.

We both looked at Morgan who was muttering to himself.

"He needs more help than I do." I told him. Only then I froze as I felt his fingers against the base of my shirt. "Rick."

"You showed me more the first time I met you." He smirked.

Smiling, I nodded, pulling my shirt over my head. I couldn't help but shudder as I felt his fingers run along the slash on my back. My hand moved to my side, covering the wound there as he dealt with the first. He didn't say a word while he cleaned it. His touch gentle. He poured the antiseptic over it, making me flinch. I only allowed the one before keeping just as silent as he had despite the pain that was pulsing through my back. Then he bent over, his fingers moving to my side, his touch making me jump a little, my skin tingling.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I told him, putting my hand against his back as he prodded it. "Mmm."

"Sorry." He told me as he started to gently clean it.

"It's fine." I told him, holding my breath.

Groaning a little as he pressed the bandage across it, unintentionally gripping him tighter, his thumb brushed it before he straightened. I let my breath out, smiling at him. He gently took my face in his hands, his thumb touching a cut against my brow.

"You'll be okay." He told me matter-of-factly.

Smiling, I tilted my head at him, "That's a relief. I was starting to think I was a goner."

He chuckled, helping me back into my shirt. As soon as it was in place, he put his hand against my arm before he turned back to Morgan. Putting my hand against my side, I stayed close to him, just in case Morgan attempted anything else. The man was completely defeated. I could understand why but this…this was different. He was going mad.

"Just kill me. Just kill me. Just kill me. Just – just kill me." Morgan kept repeating.

"You found me last year in my front yard, Morgan. You and – you found me. You fed me. You told me what's happening. You saved me. My name is Rick Grimes. You know me. I'm not wearing a dead man's face." He picked up the radio, showing it to him. "I gave you this. I said I'd turn it on every day at dawn do you could find me."

Realization finally started to cross Morgan's face. "Rick?" He frowned. "I know you. Oh, man. Damn it, I – I know you. I know who you are." He told him, making relief cross Rick's face. "You said you'd turn yours on at dawn. That's what you said. I mean, I hadn't worked up to it yet, and – then I did. On the roof every morning for days." He said, going back there. "For weeks, me and my boy. And then…me. Just static, though. Nothing but static. And then nothing but nothing. You weren't there. You were never there."

I could feel emotion creeping in.

"I was." Rick told him.

"No, not when I tried. I mean, you said you would turn on your radio every day at dawn."

"Morgan, I –" Rick started.

"You said that you would turn on your radio…"

"I did!"

"…every day at dawn and you were not there!"

My nose was pricking with trying to keep everything in. Rick was clearly hurt by his words. Squatting next to him, I put my hand on his shoulder, looking at Morgan, I felt so goddamn bad for him. He needed Rick and he wasn't there. So could I really trust him? Was he as good that I thought he was?

"Rick." I said softly.

"I kept getting – I kept getting pushed farther out. I had to. I didn't have a choice. I found my wife and my boy. I had people. I had to keep them safe." Rick tried to explain. "We kept getting pushed back deeper into the country. I swear to God I didn't have a choice."

"You can have your radio back 'cause it looks like I finally found you. You found your wife and your son. That's what happened, right? You found them." He said looking at him with disappointment. Rick nodded. "And did they – did she – did your wife – did she turn?"

"No, she died." Rick replied. Squeezing his shoulder, he looked at me.

"So you didn't have to see that, then. Of course not." Morgan said and chuckled. "Not like me." Then he laughed. It was not a kind laugh. It was a laugh of someone who had seen too much. "No. Not like me. Not like my wife. You remember what happed to her? You remember what she was? Yeah. Oh. You gave me the gun. You tried."

"What did I try, Morgan?" He asked him. "What did I try?"

"You tried to get me to do it 'cause I was supposed to do it." Morgan replied. "I was supposed to kill her, my Jenny. Knew I was supposed to, but I let it go. Let it go like there wasn't gonna be a reckoning." He said and paused. The first tear fell down my cheek and I stood, pacing away from them. I didn't want to listen to his story. At the same time I couldn't turn away. "We was always looking for food. You know, it always came down to food. And I was – I was checking out a cellar and I didn't want Duane to come down there with me. And then when I came up…she was standing there right in front of him and he had his gun up and he couldn't do it." He went on.

"Jesus." I said moving back toward them. I wanted so badly to reach out to him. But I didn't know this man. I was simply familiar with his pain.

"So I called to him and he turned. And then she was just – just on him. And I see red. I see red. Everything is red. Everything I see is red. And I do it. Finally. Finally was too late. I was supposed to. I was selfish. I was weak. You gave me the gun. Hey, your boy – is he dead?

"No."

"No? He will be. See, 'cause people like you, the good people, they always die. And the bad people do, too. But the weak people, the people like me…we have inherited the earth."

Tears were streaming and I had to get away from him. Going into the next room, I paced before going to the wall, sliding my back down it, screaming into my hands to muffle the sound. There was nothing left of Ben and Hannah to allow them to turn. I didn't have to see that. But I'd seen the change. I'd seen the first bite, the dying, the turning…I'd seen it all. I knew what Morgan had seen. I could clearly imagine what Morgan had gone through. He saw his family with dead eyes, hungry for his flesh. I'd seen that. But I hadn't had to hear it or think about it for a long time. Only now all those thoughts and feelings came crashing back…it was too much. No one should have to go through it. No one should have to see it. But he went through it. He had to see it. No wonder he was broken. No wonder he was the way he was. Who wouldn't be after something like that? The woman he loved. His child. Both bitten and turned…

"Caroline?" Rick said appearing several minutes later.

My eyes were burning and puffy, snot still falling from my nose, saliva making my mouth feel sticky. Swallowing, wiping my nose against my wrist, I looked up at him. He furrowed his brows, sitting next to me, his arm brushing mine.

"Don't ask me, Rick." I whispered to him. "I can't. Not yet." I added, my nose stinging again. "I can't – not after hearing –" I said before meeting his eyes. "Not yet."

"I wasn't going to ask." He told me, reaching his hand over and putting it against my arm. "I wasn't going to say anything."

Nodding, the tears started to flow and I felt like I'd lost them all over again. All of them. This world was going to kill us. Maybe not right away, but it was going to take us eventually. One by one. Pain and loss. Hopes dashed. What was the point? I felt like I did back in the woods, curled up and ready to die. What was the point of all this suffering when there was nothing we could do about it?

"It's gonna be okay." He told me kindly.

"You don't know that." I said shaking my head, wiping my nose against my wrist again. "You don't know that, Rick."

"I've gotta believe it or I'll end up just like him. So will you." He replied.

Laughing lightly, I met his eyes, "I'm already there, Rick. I may not seem as crazy as he does, but I'm there."

"You willingly put yourself in danger to protect me." He stated.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Why?"

Meeting his eyes again, I sighed, "Because I care."

He smiled and nodded, "You're not there yet, Linny."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm not either." He replied.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, putting my hand over his. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He nodded and got up. "Now come on."

Smiling, I took his hands as he offered them to me, letting him help me to my feet. We walked into the other room, once again taking in Morgan. Rick stepped up to him; he had a look as if he'd decided something.

"I'm not gonna kill you." He told him. "I don't think that's what supposed to happen. I think you're supposed to come back with us."

Morgan laughed as Rick cut him free, "After all that? After me trying to blow your head off, stab your heart out, happily ever after together?"

"You couldn't kill me, I couldn't kill you. I'll take that as a sign."

"What about her?" He asked. "I was going to kill her too."

"But she didn't kill you. Another sign."

"Huh." He replied.

"We found a prison." Rick told him. "The fences can keep 'em out."

"Is that where your wife died?" He asked. Rick's look gave his answer. "Just go. Don't go back. Don't stop. Just get yourself some more time."

"Look, I can help you. You can come back with us. You can heal."

"You're taking a lot of guns, Rick." Morgan stated. "No, I'm just saying that that all is a lot of guns. Why do you need the guns, Rick? 'Cause if you got something good, that just means that there's someone who wants to take it. And that is what is happening, right?"

"We're gonna win." Rick told him with certainty, only to get a chuckle in return. "You can be there. You can help."

"You will be torn apart by teeth or bullets. You and your boy. Her. Your people, but not me. Because I am not gonna watch that happen again. Man, you take the guns."

"You know there's a chance. That's what you can't square. That's what hurts. You know there's a chance."

"I don't think you heard a damn word that I said."

"He did." I frowned. "We both did."

Rick nodded at me before looking at Morgan. "We both started out in the same place. Things went bad for you, things went bad for me. But you're not seeing things right. I don't blame you, what you've lost, what you've been through. You're not seeing things right, but you can come back from this, I know you can. You have to. This can't be it. It can't be. You got to be able to come back from this."

He said it like he was trying to convince himself as well as him. I couldn't blame him. Hell, even I wanted to be convinced.

"No."

"Morgan, please."

"No! I have to clear. That's why I didn't die today. That's the sign. I have to, man. I have to. I have to clear."

His mind was set. There was going to be no changing it. Not right now. But we knew where to find him if Rick wanted to try again. I wanted to believe that he could come back from this. I wanted to believe it for myself. I may not wish for death as much as I used to, if at all, but I couldn't say that I'd healed, that I wasn't still grieving. I was and I had no idea when that feeling was going to go away.

Looking at Rick, I sighed and started to pack a bag with guns. He nodded and started to help me, grabbing anything that would fit inside of it. Morgan didn't say anything; he simply left the apartment, going down to the street. As soon as the bag was packed, I walked to the window, seeing him already starting to clear.

"He made his choice." Rick told me.

"I know." I replied stepping back up to him. "I'm not arguing with you or with him. I only wish there was something we could do." Then I looked off in the distance, adding softly, "I know where he is."

There was a pause before Rick put his hand against my shoulder, "He'll be okay. We all will."

Pretending as if nothing happened, I smiled at him, "Things are definitely looking better with all these guns."

He frowned at me, but didn't ask anything, he simply nodded. "Like I said, we're gonna win."

"I know." I smiled.

"Let's go." He said and we made our way carefully down to the street.

Looking up and down the street, there was still no sign of Michonne and Carl. Putting the bag by the door, we both leaned against the wall, watching Morgan work. He wouldn't even look at us.

"Should we be concerned?" I asked him, staring down the road.

"Not yet." Rick told me.

"I'll go look for them." I said and started to walk.

Rick gripped my wrist, stopping me, and gently pulled me backward. Sighing, I met his eyes, "Let's give them a few more minutes."

Sighing, I crossed my arms, standing in front of him, "Fine."

He smiled, "They'll be okay."

"I know." I shot at him. "Michonne is trustworthy. She won't let anything happen to Carl."

"I know."

"Unlike leaving you with me." I added and raised my brow. He just smiled at me. "What?" I frowned.

"I can take care of myself. I don't need your protection." He told me.

"Not the point." I replied.

He smiled again, "I appreciate the effort."

Smiling, there was the sound of steps, looking to see Michonne and Carl.

"It's about damn time." I told them. "You found one." I smiled as I saw the crib they were carrying.

"Hey. We were just about to look for you." Rick added.

"Sorry." Carl told him.

"It's all right. You're here now." Rick replied, seeing Carl look at his shoulder. "Oh, it's nothing."

"You okay?" Michonne asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah." She raised a brow at me. I smiled at her, "Later."

"What's later?" Carl asked.

"Nothing." I said tapping the rim of his hat.

"He's okay." Michonne said looking at Morgan.

"No. He's not." Rick replied and looked at me.

Nodding, I picked up one of the bags, Rick taking the other and we started toward the car.

"Hey, wait." Carl told us. "Hey!" He called to Morgan.

"Carl." Rick said trying to stop him.

"Leave him alone." I told him gently.

Carl looked up at me before calling out to him again, "Morgan. I had to shoot you. You know I had to, right? I'm sorry." Then we started out again.

"Hey, son." Morgan called. "Don't ever be sorry."

Going to the car, I handed the bag to Rick when he reached out for it, hardly looking at him as I kept my eyes in Morgan's direction.

"Everything okay with her?" I heard Rick ask Carl.

"I think she might be one of us."

"What?"

"Everything went okay."

"Hop in. I'll throw this in the back."

Looking at Rick, he looked back at me, nodding. Smiling, I nodded back at him. Then Michonne appeared with the other bags of guns and a crossbow.

"You see something?" She asked him. Sighing, I averted my eyes, knowing the answer to that. "I know you see things. People. I used to talk to my dead boyfriend. It happens."

"What about Linny?" He asked softly.

I pretended not to be listening, far enough away from them to pull it off.

"She's been through something. She gets it." Michonne replied.

There was a pause before Rick spoke again, "You want to drive?"

"Yeah." She replied.

"Good. I see things." He told her, hearing the smirk in his voice. "Linny." He said making me look at him. "Let's go."

Nodding, I went to the car and got in the backseat with Carl. Slouching down, ignoring the pain, I looked out the window, enjoying the silence of the car. No one else was saying anything either. We hadn't gone far when we saw remains spewed across the road. It was the hitchhiker. Stopping the car, Michonne backed up and Carl jumped out to grab the pack he had been wearing. Handing it to me, I set it between us, smiling at him. He offered one back, making me smile wider at him. We both looked at the pack, wondering what was inside of it. Not that it mattered. We needed all the help we could get.


	15. Crossing the Line

**Chapter Fifteen: Crossing the Line**

Moments.

Moments were what this new world was made of. Holding on to the good while trying to let go of all the bad. Life was officially too short to be worrying about all the little things, the petty things, and all the things you couldn't change. The world we knew was gone and it was up to us to create a world that we could live in. A world that also included the dead walking among us. The dead that we could join at any moment. The second you stopped breathing you risked turning. The window so small of being saved and when you couldn't be, you'd become one of the walkers we were so desperately trying to survive against.

I wanted to keep breathing.

I wanted to keep living.

I'd do anything to make sure I stayed alive. More than that, I wanted the people I cared about to stay alive. I was new to the group and yet I wanted everyone under our roof to survive. They were all good people and if there was anything that this world needed it was good people.

Standing in the courtyard, I listened to the walkers as they roamed the yard. We needed to clear them. Clear. Morgan. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to shake the sadness that meeting him had brought on. Looking down at the cup of coffee in my hands, I tried to focus on the good things in my life. I'd been lucky enough to have had coffee in Woodbury and now at the prison I was still lucky enough to enjoy a delicious cup of my life's blood. It was one of the things I had the hardest time living without when the world went to shit.

"Hey." Carl said appearing at my side.

"Hey." I replied, doing a double-take. He hadn't talked to me since our little trip. "How's it going?"

"Anything happening?" He asked.

"Nope." I said shaking my head. "Nothing but walkers." He nodded at me. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing." He said just standing there with me.

Smiling, I kept enjoying my coffee, letting silence fall. But I had to admit that it was nice to have the company. I'd always liked kids, wanting three of my own, but I never found the guy for me. Now that the world was shit it was probably never going to happen. Having a child in this world would be a gift and a curse.

As the minutes went by, I couldn't help but wonder why he was standing here. Either way, it was nice. It made me miss Hannah. She had been younger than him and far more innocent. I missed talking to someone as innocent as she was. Her outlook on life hadn't been tainted. Carl could remember what life was like before the outbreak. He knew. I hated that he knew so much about death. What he'd had to do was unspeakable and no child should ever have to do though anything like that. Now he had an unstable father and a baby sister that he had to take care of. He felt responsible. It wasn't fair.

"Were you big on comics or videogames?" I asked him.

He shrugged a shoulder, "I guess."

"Ever play Kingdom Hearts?" I asked, getting a look from him. Laughing, I nodded, "I guess that might be too girly for you."

"Only a little." He stated with a smirk.

"Do you like to read?"

He nodded, "I do."

"Any favorites come to mind?"

He shook his head, "Not really."

"I'd tell you mine but they're probably too girly for you, too." I told him, nudging him.

"Let me guess. Harry Potter?" He smiled up at me.

"I'll have you know," I told him with a British accent, "that being immersed in the magical world was one of the highlights of my life."

He laughed and shook my head, "You look like someone who'd like that."

"Hey." I said with mock shock. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." He said, shrugging, but was still silently chuckling about it.

Pausing a moment, I scoffed a little, "I had one book with me when I was out there on my own. Wanna take a guess as to what it was?"

He thought a moment before he asked, "What was it?"

"World War Z." I smiled at him.

"What was it about?"

"Zombies."

"Zombies?" He frowned.

I nodded, "Very similar to our Walkers."

"Was it good?"

"I liked it." I told him. "I read it to my boyfriend's daughter. Not appropriate since she was five, but she seemed to enjoy it."

"Where is she?" He asked.

Taking a deep breath, I was going to respond, but before I could, there was a hand on my shoulder, making me jump. "Rick." I said, wiping the coffee that had splashed onto my shirt. "This was my last clean shirt."

"We can help with that." He told me.

"Not the point." I told him with a raised brow.

He smirked at me, looking at Carl. "You should be helping the others."

Carl nodded and smiled up at me before he went back inside. Rick moved next to me, looking out at the yard. "Were you gonna tell him?"

"Tell him what?" I asked as I took a drink of my coffee.

He just shook his head. "You can trust us you know. Carl. Me."

Looking at him, I smiled, "Thank you."

He put his hand on my shoulder, "I trust you."

I couldn't help my jaw from falling slightly open. He just smiled and walked away. "That was unexpected." I told myself.

"Told you so." Daryl said coming up from behind me, making me jump, more coffee splashing onto my shirt. Clenching my jaw, I wiped at it for a second time. "Jumpy much?"

"Not usually." I shot at him, sighing heavily. "What do you want?"

"That's not very nice." He retorted faking being hurt. Raising a brow at him, he just chuckled at me. "What are you doin' out here?"

"Thinking." I told him.

"About?"

"Everything."

He put his arm around me, pulling me into his chest. For a split second I melted against him. I forgot how nice it was to be pressed against a chest. An arm wrapped around me protectively and caringly. It was nice. But then it passed and I quickly pulled away from him, dumping the coffee as I dropped my arms, swiftly walking away from him.

"Linny." He called.

Moving faster, I walked past everyone as I moved to my cell. Going through the few belongings I had, I tried to find something that was clean. But nothing existed. Then a shirt was tossed onto the bed. Looking at it, I sighed, swiftly removing the one I had on and put the clean one over my head. It was a simple black tank-top, nothing fancy, but hugged my figure so I didn't feel too baggy.

"Thanks."

"You okay?" Michonne asked.

Shrugging my shoulder as high as it would go, I shook my head at her, "I don't know if I can do this."

"Since when?" She frowned.

"These are good people. Genuinely good people." I told her.

"And?"

"And they bring up so many memories that I've been trying to forget." I replied as I sat on the bed. "I've been running from what happened. Being here makes me think that everything I had before is possible again. That and more."

"That's a good thing." She smiled, sitting next to me.

"It's also debilitating and completely terrifying."

"Why?"

Meeting her eyes, I couldn't help the tears in mine, "What if I lose it all over again?"

She sighed, wrapping her arm around me, pulling me to her so she could rest her head against mine. "One day at a time, Linny. And I don't think we're going to lose it. Not this time."

Taking her hand, I relaxed against her, "Okay."

"Incoming!" Someone called, making Michonne and me look at each other before sprinting from the cell.

"Caroline." Hershel said as he crutched behind everyone.

Quickly moving to him, I put my hand against his arm, looking him up and down, "You okay?"

He smiled, "Stay here with me."

"Of course." I nodded, feeling anxious.

Everyone else had left us and it was just me and him. Pacing, I waited for the others to come back, freaking out about what could be happening outside. He knew it too, smiling and watching me as if I was supposed to be learning something.

"What are you trying to do?" I finally asked him, crossing my arms as I frowned at him, a small smile on my lips.

"Nothing." He smiled back at me. "I just think you could use a little distance from this fight."

"What are you talking about?" I frowned harder at him, my smile gone.

"Maggie may have told me something." He replied.

Sighing heavily, I felt anger bubbling to the surface, "She had no right to say anything."

"It was an accident and she didn't actually say anything." He replied. "I may have guessed and she simply didn't deny it."

"Fine." I told him. "But I'm not saying anything either."

"Can I make a guess?"

Keeping his eyes, part of me wanted to let him. A game of twenty questions would probably be entertaining, but I couldn't. Not yet. "No." I told him and turned, meaning to rush from the room, only to run into a chest.

"You all right?" Daryl asked.

"I think people need to worry less about me. I'm fine." I told him and moved around him, practically running into Glenn.

"You okay?" He asked.

Sighing, I moved around him, accidentally hitting Carol's shoulder, had to bend myself around Carl, shifted out of Maggie's way and then came face to face with Rick. Sighing as loudly as humanly possible, I dipped my chin before meeting his eyes. He simply nodded at me before stepping around me. Swiftly moving forward, I went outside to see Michonne watching as a car pulled away from the prison.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"Andrea." She said sadly.

"What did she want?" I frowned.

She met my eyes, "She set up a meeting for Rick and the Governor."

Laughing, unable to do anything else, I paced away from her. "Of course she did." She nodded. "Is Rick gonna go?"

"Rick is gonna go." Rick himself interrupted.

"Why?" I asked him. "Why would you risk it?"

"For peace." He stated. "Now come help me plan."

Sighing, I nodded at him, "Okay."

He shifted his feet, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Laughing lightly, I smiled at him, "I want to help, Rick. I'm just a little anxious about it all."

"You know him better than all of us." He told me. "I would appreciate any help you have to offer."

Looking at Michonne, she nodded at me. Meeting Rick's eyes, he blue of them were always a little shocking. Stepping closer to him, his eyes were almost all I could see. "And you'll take what I have to say objectively?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"And you won't get mad at me?"

He smiled, thinking a moment, "I can't promise you that."

Smiling, I nodded, "Didn't think so."

"I'll listen to you, Linny. We all need to do this together."

Smiling wider at him, I nodded again, "Maybe Michonne is right."

"About what?" He asked.

I looked at Michonne, offering her my hand, "Come on."

"About what?" Rick repeated as he followed us.

When the time came to go, there was a basic plan that would hopefully solve all our problems. It was simple. Maybe a little too simple. Each of us takes a side of the river and we never cross paths. There was plenty of places to scavenge on either side. More than enough resources. Both communities would be able to survive. This didn't have to end in bloodshed. But after everything that had already gone down, I didn't think the Governor was going to have it end any other way. We still had to be prepared for anything. We needed to be able to fight. We needed to be able to win.

My arms were firmly around Daryl as we approached the meeting point. I'd never ridden a motorcycle before. I had never felt comfortable about riding something that didn't have four walls. Turns out…it was fucking fantastic! I couldn't help the release that came with it. The wind flowing over me. The smell of the earth. It was amazing. It offered a release that I hadn't felt in a long time.

"How you doin' back there?" Daryl asked as we slowed down.

I rested my chin on his shoulder, "Fantastic."

He chuckled, "Better than a car?"

"Much." I said and pressed a kiss against his cheek. "Thank you."

"Welcome." He replied. "But it's time to get serious. We're here."

Sighing, I hugged him tighter, "This better work."

"I've got your back." He stated.

"I've got yours, too." I told him.

Stopping, we both got off and I pulled my gun from the back of my pants. Hershel stopped the car that he and Rick were in, our leader getting out, moving toward Daryl and me. Nodding at him, we started to move around the perimeter, making sure everything was safe. We came across several dead walkers. Someone had already been here. Making our way to the barn, we could hear tapping. Going in first, my gun raised, Rick was right behind me while Daryl stayed outside.

"I'm a little surprised to see you here." The Governor said appearing from the back of the barn.

Scoffing, I smirked at him, "Shows your level of intelligence."

"Hello, Rick." He replied looking around me. Rick didn't say anything. "Linny, would you be so kind as to leave us alone?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shot at him. "I have no idea what your twisted plan is so I think I'm going to stay right here."

"Linny." Rick said putting his hand on my shoulder, sliding it down my back, and around my side. I could feel his chest against my shoulder. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." I replied, tightening my grip on my gun.

"Linny." Rick repeated with his lips against my ear. "I'll be alright."

Glaring at the Governor, I thought about pulling the trigger, but I knew that it would only cause more blood to be spilled. "Fine." I said lowering my gun. Turning to Rick, I met his eyes, "Don't do anything stupid."

He smirked at me, "I'll be careful."

Nodding, I put my hand against his chest, trailing it across it as I left the barn. Joining Daryl, he put his arm around me, walking to the car as Hershel pulled up.

"He's already in there. Sat down with Rick." Daryl told him.

"He wouldn't let me stay." I added with annoyance.

Hershel looked around, "I don't see any cars."

"It don't feel right. Keep it running." Daryl told him.

"I should go back in there."

"Nah." Daryl said gently gripping my arm. "Stay close."

Meeting his eyes, I smiled at him, "Always."

Hearing a car approaching we turned toward it, waiting to see who it was.

"Heads up." Daryl warned.

The truck stopped and Martinez, Milton, and Andrea got out. My stomach sank but I couldn't help but feel slightly giddy at the sight of Caesar. He was a good man.

"What the hell?" Daryl frowned at him. "Why's your boy already in there?"

"He's here?" Andrea said surprised.

"Yup." Daryl replied.

She scoffed and started to go in but I gripped her arm. "They want to be alone."

"I don't listen to you." She said jerking her arm from my grip.

I laughed lightly, calling after her, "It's about time you start."

Looking around, the two groups were segregated, tenseness flowing off of everyone. Caesar had barely looked at me and everyone else was on edge, waiting for something to happen.

"Maybe I should go inside." Hershel said breaking the silence.

"If anyone should go in there it's me." I frowned at him.

"The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately." Milton replied.

"Who the hell are you?" Daryl shot at him.

"Milton Mamet." I stated. "The Governor's little lap dog."

"Great. He brought his butler." Daryl scoffed.

Caesar chuckled, and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"I'm his advisor." Milton corrected.

"What kind of advice?" Daryl asked.

"Planning. Biters." He replied before frowning at him. "Uh, you know, I'm sorry. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the henchmen."

"You better watch your mouth, sunshine." Daryl shot at him.

In the same moment, I had stepped forward and punched him, "Shut the fuck up, Milton."

Then my arm was grabbed and I looked at Caesar. "Stop, Linny." He told me, then addressed Daryl. "Look, if you and I are gonna be out here pointing guns at each other all day, do me a favor, shut your mouth."

"Knock it off." I frowned at my ex. "Daryl." I said spinning and putting my hands against his chest. "Don't."

"We don't need this. If all goes south in there, we'll be at each other's throats soon enough." Hershel told us.

Looking at him, he was right. Pacing away from everyone, I heard steps and turned to see Caesar slowly walking up to me.

"Hey." I smiled at him.

"Hey." He said, distance in his expression.

"I'm sorry about all this." I told him.

"I'm not." He replied with a smirk. "You made your choice."

I furrowed my brows, "Don't be like that."

"How do you want me to be?" He shot back. "You left me to join a different group who intends on destroying mine with your help."

"The Governor needs to fall. Even you know it. You just don't want to admit it." I frowned at him before softening my expression. "And you also know that we were never going to work. You have to have known that my heart wasn't in it."

"But mine was." He told me sadly. "But yeah, I knew that yours wasn't." He added. "I just ignored it because I wanted you with me."

"I know." I smiled. "But it just didn't go down like that. I needed to get out."

"And now you sit at the right hand of a different leader."

"I was never on the right back of the Governor. Let alone Rick's. I'm just someone who knows the Governor and his people. I'm here just in case verification or anything else is needed."

"You've turned into a lapdog?" He frowned.

"No." I frowned back. "I'm simply helping these people not be killed by a fucking unstable madman." He laughed and shook his head. Sighing, I stepped closer to him. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's fine." He told me. "I knew that you were hurting. You needed someone. I tried to keep it casual but I couldn't."

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thank you for everything."

He hugged me tightly, "I'll miss you."

Taking his head in my hands, I kissed him, "I'll miss you, too."

We both turned as we heard steps, Andrea appearing from the barn. She looked pissed, sitting against the side of it. Looking at Daryl, he was tenser than I'd ever seen. Putting my hand against Caesar's face, I smiled at him before moving back to Daryl, putting my hand against his shoulder. He met my eyes, nodding at me.

Smiling, I moved closer to him, gently gripping his fingers. "Everything is going to be okay." I told him softly.

"Ya think?" He replied.

"I do." I stated. "Even if they don't make the deal, we're all going to be okay. We're all going home." He nodded, momentarily pressing his forehead to mine.

"There's no reason not to use this time we have together to explore the issues ourselves." Milton interrupted.

"Boss said to sit tight and shut up." Caesar told him, purposely not looking at me.

"Don't you mean the Governor?" Daryl spat at him.

"It's a good thing they're sitting down, especially after what happened." Milton went on. "They're gonna work it out. Nobody wants another battle."

"I wouldn't exactly call it a battle." Daryl stated.

"It was a slaughter, you asshole." I shot at him.

"I would call it a battle and I did. I recorded it." Milton stated.

Laughing, I started to pace, "You are such a – you know, I don't even know."

"For what?" Daryl asked him.

"Somebody's got to keep a record of what we're gone through. It'll be a part of our history." Milton replied.

Hershel nodded, "That makes sense."

"I've got dozens of interview –" Milton started, only then metal clanging reached our ears.

Walkers were coming.

Looking at Daryl, we rushed off, Andrea and Caesar quickly following. Coming around a corner, there were four coming our way. The men were in front, just standing there.

"After you." Daryl told Caesar.

Caesar smiling at him, "No way. You first."

I looked at Andrea, "Seriously?"

She smiled and then we both moved around them, stabbing the walkers, letting them fall to the ground. Turning, Caesar had a bat in hand, crushing the skull of a walker. Moving together, Daryl shot one with his bow before throwing a knife into the face of another before Caesar could take care of it. Laughing, I watched as Daryl pulled a pack of cigarettes from one of the bodies, looking cocky.

"Why are you really here?" Andrea asked me as we started to head back to the barn.

"I'm here because Rick asked me to be." I told her.

"Why though?" She asked with a harder tone. "He hardly knows you."

"He knows he can trust me. That's all that matters." I replied. "And I can trust him."

"He's a good man." She stated.

I nodded, smiling at her, "He is. I wasn't sure but I think he is one of the good ones."

She grinned at me, "I'd say there is an attraction there but Daryl is clearly attracted to you."

"He's a good man, too." I smiled. "And so far he's always been there. He let me in first."

She laughed lightly, "Then it's mutual."

Laughing loudly, I gently shoved her, "Stop. I haven't been around long and I'm not going there with anyone."

"Still hung up on Ben?" She asked sadly.

My smiled disappeared. "Not hung up." I replied. "I'm just not ready to go there with anyone. I fell in love and look what happened."

"It's not the same, Caroline."

"It could be." I nodded at her. "And I haven't healed from the pain of the last one. I don't really feel like putting myself in the position to feel it again."

"Not yet." She said gently. "But you will be."

Then an arm draped across my shoulders and I looked up at Daryl, "You okay?"

Wrapping my arm around his waist, I nodded, "Yeah, of course."

"Good." He said before moving ahead of me, looking from side to side.

I looked at Andrea who was grinning at me. Smiling, I shook my head. "Not yet."

As soon as we were back to the barn, I moved to Daryl as we once again segregated ourselves from each other. There was an invisible line and we all had to pick which side we were going to stay on. I'd picked mine, seeing Hershel go and talk to Andrea. She was the only one who was standing with one foot on either side. She could choose either one. But she had to do it soon. If she left with the Governor, she was more than likely going to die.

"You doin' alright?" Daryl asked.

"I'm trying to." I smiled at him, crossing my arms. "What do you think is going on in there?"

"I don't know." He replied. "I don't like it."

"Me neither." I sighed.

Just standing there in front of each other, we waited for Rick to come out. Hopefully with good news. When they finally did, Rick glanced at me, his head down, making my stomach turn. Everyone was looking at them.

"Rick?" I frowned at him, moving toward him.

"Martinez." The Governor said before pointing at me. "Take her."

"What?" I frowned.

"What's going on?" Caesar asked.

"She's my consolation prize." He stated. "Until I get what I really want."

Daryl gripped my arm, "I don't think so."

"Martinez." The Governor said with authority.

Caesar looked at me before moving to my side, gripping my arm. "Sorry."

"No." Daryl said gripping me tighter.

"Daryl." Rick said gripping his arm. "Let her go."

"Rick, what did you do?" I asked him. He barely met my eyes before avoiding them. "Rick, what did you do?!" I yelled as Caesar started to pull me away from them. He still didn't look at me. In the next second Hershel was hitting Caesar with his crutches. "Hershel." I said blocking Caesar with my arm, the crutch hitting it.

Hershel attempted to hit Caesar again only then a shot rang, pain searing in my shoulder blade, dropping me to my knees. Fighting against them would only bring more death to people who couldn't handle any more death.

"Caroline!" Hershel said reaching for me.

"Don't!" I yelled at Caesar as he moved to strike against Hershel, getting to my feet. "Leave him alone." Then I turned to Hershel. "It's fine."

"Rick, do something." He shot at his leader.

Rick still wouldn't look at me. "It's done."

I nodded at him before meeting the old man's eyes again, smiling, "I'll be fine."

My arm was grabbed and I was spun before I was on my knees again, the side of my face stinging, my vision momentarily speckling. Now Rick responded.

"Hey!" He yelled. He dropped in front of me and I couldn't help but glare at him. "I'm sorry." He told me. I just scoffed at him. Taking my head in his hands, he brought his face close to mine, "Fight." I furrowed my brows at him. "You're a fighter, Linny. Keep fighting."

There was an almost knowing look in his eyes. "I'll fight." I told him. He smirked and gave me a nod.

Then I was grabbed and brought to my feet, being practically dragged toward one of the other trucks.

"What the hell is this?!" Daryl yelled at Rick, raising his bow at Caesar.

"Daryl, don't." I told him harshly. "Lower it." He did, keeping his eyes on mine. "It's fine. I'm gonna be fine."

"Bullshit." He said glaring at the Governor. "Rick?"

"Let them take her." He nodded at him.

Being put into the back of the truck, I flinched as Caesar pushed against the bullet wound, not looking back at them. I would see them again. Or I wouldn't. The Governor was probably going to kill me, but he would wait for the opportune moment to cause the most pain for everyone.

"Caroline!" Daryl yelled.

The sound of him made me look over my shoulder. Rick was holding him back, seeing him finally pull away from him, pacing as he watched us get smaller. I'd been with them shorter than any people I've ever been with and I felt more connected to them than anyone. Parts of me felt more connected to them than even Ben and Hannah. I longed for that connection and now it was shrinking before it disappeared altogether.

The ride back was extremely quiet. No one said anything, though the Governor kept glancing at me over his shoulder. Glaring back at him, I knew what my future held. I wouldn't be the first or the last person to be tortured for simply pissing the man off. My shoulder blade was throbbing and I could feel the blood trickling down my back. Unafraid to rub it against the back of the seat, I met Caesar's eyes in the rearview mirror. Offering him a smile, he did the same, clearly torn as to what to do.

When we reached the gates to Woodbury, I couldn't help the pounding of my heart, feeling it pressing against my ribcage. Breathing felt harder as I attempted to keep control of myself. I'd finally decided to live and I was still going to die. I'd been bartered over like a damn cow. I'd been handed over to the enemy and they were going to do whatever the hell they wanted with me.

 _Damn you, Rick._

Caesar parked the car, getting out and opened the door to me. Just sitting there, I knew I had to move but just couldn't seem to bring myself to do it. I didn't want to be here. This wasn't a choice. If I'd willingly given myself up, I'd deal. But this…this was Rick's decision. I had no say and no matter how hard he wanted me to fight, it was still all on him.

"You know where to take her." He told Caesar as he pulled me from the car.

"Boss." Caesar told him.

"Martinez." He said turning to face the man.

They had a momentary stare down before Caesar nodded at him. Looking at me, his grip tightened as he took me toward the warehouse that held their holding cells. People were looking and whispering as we passed. Then there was a flurry of activity and Karen came screaming around a corner, a look of horror on her face.

"Martinez!" She called. "Caroline!"

"It's fine." I said holding out my hand. My arm was streaked with blood. "Just stop and turn around, Karen."

"What's going on?" She asked, her expression fearful.

"Nothing." I smiled. "Just go."

"Care." She said shaking her head.

"Go."

She didn't go but she didn't follow us either. Being led into the warehouse and to one of the rooms, there was a fun looking exam chair. A floating table with tools already on top of it. I'd never seen the inside of one of these rooms and I hoped I never would. But here I was, about to die in one.

Two more men appeared, attempting to force me into the chair, I fought hard against them. Kicking one, freeing my arm to punch the other, I momentarily was set free, darting from the room, hitting the Governor on my way past him. Caesar was behind me but he didn't say anything. Part of me felt like he was going to protect me and hide me, not wanting me to die. But the other part of me was telling me he was waiting for me to make him react. I wasn't going to.

Hitting a chest, I looked up, feeling a measure of relief, "Shumpert."

"Caroline." He said wrapping me in his strong arms.

"Help me." I whispered into his ear. "Please help me."

"Shumpert!" The Governor yelled. "Do not let her go!"

"What's going on?" He asked, his arm firmly around me.

I looked up at him pleadingly, "They're going to kill me. Please."

He moved his arm in front of me. I gripped it tightly. "No they're not."

Only in the next second I was grabbed from behind, Screaming and thrashing as I was taken to the ground. Managing to wound two, Shumpert screamed and I faltered, looking up to see him on the ground. My arms were forced behind my back, a knee digging between my shoulder blades. My bullet wound was searing with pain, making me cry out as their knee shifted.

Being jerked back onto my feet, my hands were bound and I was brought to the room again, being forced into it, my ankles being tied to the small foot rest while my hands were tied to the arms. As soon as it was done the Governor strode in, backhanding me so hard I thought I was going to lose consciousness, blood trickling from my mouth as I bent over. Finally straightening, I glared at him. He hit me again against the other side of my face, making me bend the other way, feeling blood drip from my brow, hitting my cheek.

He hit me once more before smiling down at me, "I may not have Michonne yet, but I think I'll be perfect happy with you for a while." Letting blood fill my mouth, I spit it in his face. He laughed, wiping it away, looking at his fingers. "You've always had spirit." Then he looked at his men. "Have fun with her boys. The sky's the limit."

Looking at the men, my stomach dropped and I knew that I was going to suffer before I died. Attempting to harden myself, I glared at them. I wouldn't go down without a fight. I would fight them until my last breath.


	16. Fighter

**Chapter Sixteen: Fighter**

Cowering in a corner, I was curled as far into myself as I could get. My body was pulsing with pain. A steady beat that let me know that I was still alive. One might think that a blessing but right now it felt more like a curse. They had taken the Governor's words to heart and they had reached for the skies. The only thing I could be grateful for was that I hadn't been raped, fingers had been placed but they had been surprisingly gracious considering I was going to die anyway. But the beatings and water boarding was enough to send me over the edge. The rubbing of their bodies against me, the feeling of my breasts, but I hadn't truly been raped. They kept their cocks in their pants unless they decided to take a fucking piss on me.

I'd lost time after the first day or so. Waiting to die but at the same time I felt like I was alive because he still wasn't done with me. He wanted my death to be painful and if he could use me against the prison then he would. But I hadn't been with them long enough to mean anything to them. I meant nothing and if I did than fine but I wasn't expecting to be saved. But Rick had told me to fight. Maybe he was going to come for me. Maybe he would let Daryl. Maybe – just maybe – I did mean something to them. Maggie had told me I was one of them. Would she convince them to come for me?

My expectations were low, not caring if I lived or died, feeling more like death with every passing moment. But if they were going to come for me than I had to keep fighting. It would be a fucking miracle but I would keep fighting if there was even a sliver of hope. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't want to die. I found people that I could be a part of. I found people to care about who cared about me. I wanted to live. I wanted to see them again.

When the door opened, I looked up to see two of my regular visitors. "Please." I said shaking my head.

They didn't say anything, they simply stepped up to me, gripping my arms and dragged me to the chair as my bare feet skidded against the concrete floor. They slammed me into it and tied my arms and legs, stepping aside as someone else stepped in.

"What do you want?" I shot at him.

The Governor smiled, "I thought I'd let you know that today's the day."

"For what?" I frowned.

"For you to die."

Scoffing, I nodded, "It's about damn time."

"And you won't be alone." He stated. "You can listen to each other's screams." He stepped aside and from the room across from me, I saw Andrea handcuffed to a chair identical to my own.

"Andrea!" I called.

Her head shot up. "Caroline! You're alive?" She said with confusion.

"Surprisingly." I smirked.

"Jesus." She said as she took me in.

"Good luck." I told her.

She nodded, smiling at me, "You, too."

Her door was shut, leaving me to stare at the metal door. Then mine was shut as well, leaving me alone. He had a new toy to play with. One that would be much more fun to him. It was amazing what he was willing to do to someone he had let share his bed. He truly was a madman. Unfeeling and able to kill on a whim. Bile rose in my throat as I thought of how I had been just like him. I was unfeeling and would kill anyone. I didn't want to be that person anymore. I was going to be a better person. I was going to turn everything around and be as good a person as I used to be. But I needed Rick and his group to do that. I needed to get out of here.

When the door opened again, I felt emotion start to build. Shaking my head, Caesar stepped forward, tears were on his cheeks. It was time. He came to say his goodbyes. Stepping up to me, he took my head in his hands and kissed me deeply and repeatedly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." He told me depressingly.

"It's okay." I smiled at him.

"It's not." He said and I felt him slip something into my hand.

Recognizing the feel of it, I held it tight against the arm of the chair. "Thank you." I told him, kissing him again. "Don't die."

He smiled, kissing me one last time, "I'll see you again."

"You're a good man, Caesar. Don't let him ruin you." I told him as a tear slid down my cheek, hitting his hand.

He pressed his forehead to mine, taking a deep breath before he turned and left. I didn't get a chance to breakdown before someone else came in dragging Joe into sight. I'd talked to the man a few times, taking him on runs. Blood was staining the front of his shirt and he was already looking weak.

Damn it all to hell.

"This isn't as poetic as what is going to happen to Andrea, but I think it's a fitting end." The Governor said as he appeared.

"Fuck you." I shot at him.

He laughed, "Never gonna happen. One traitor is all I can handle."

I laughed back at him, "You're going to die. Rick is going to kill you."

He smiled at me, "Or I'm going to kill him."

"Not likely."

He just gave a short laugh before he left. Joe was shoved to the corner and the door was closed. Looking at him, I knew that they had mortally wounded him. He would die, turn and I would be left in here with a walker. But thanks to Caesar, I had a way out.

"How you doing, Joe?" I asked gently.

He took several labored breaths before he replied, "Not so good."

"Why did they do this to you?" I asked him.

"I tried to get a couple of the guys together and get you out of here." He smirked at me.

I frowned, "Why the hell would you do that?"

His smile grew, "Because you were good to us, Caroline. When we went on runs. When we had to track people down. You were a good leader. Even when you were playing the role of follower. You're fair and kind."

"Kind?" I shot at him. "When was I kind here?"

"More often than you think." He told me, his eyes rolling up before he looked at the wall. "If you have a plan, I'd execute it soon."

Shifting the small blade into my fingers, I took a deep steadying breath. It was a spare box cutter blade, small, thin, and easily droppable. Two of my nails were missing, still able to feel the stinging as they'd sprinkled salt over the fresh wounds. I was a fucking mess and if I dropped it then it would all be over. Starting to cut the rope, he was watching me and I could see that he was fading. Keeping my eyes on him, I'd watch his chest rise and fall. The length between breaths got longer and longer. Too soon did I watch his chest still, making me panic when he didn't take another, his head lolling forward as his body fully relaxed. I'd only made it through half of one rope. He was gone. Panic was roaring through my veins as I attempted to cut faster, but it was awkward making it almost impossible to speed up the process.

Thinking it thin enough, I gripped the blade tightly in my hand and jerked against the rope. Doing it again, there was a slight give, jerking once more and I was free. Swiftly taking the blade I started to cut through the ropes on my other wrist. It was faster, though I froze when I saw his foot twitch, then his hand, his head raising, showing me the deadness of his eyes.

"Damn it." I said and tried to work faster. Rushing, I tilted the blade too much, making it catch and jerk from my grasp, the clink of it echoing as it hit the floor. "No!" I screamed watching Joe get to his feet. "God fucking damn it!" I yelled, pulling as hard as I could on the ropes.

It wasn't going to give.

This was it.

My hope was gone.

I was going to die.

"Joe!" I yelled but knew that he couldn't hear me. "Joe!"

He was staggering toward me, his teeth slamming together as he cocked his head back and forth, slowly moving toward me. Jerking against the rope, it wasn't budging. Praying he didn't stumble and attack my legs, part of me felt like I still had a chance. Hope that was probably being wasted. As soon as he reached me, his hands gripped my shirt and he attempted to bite my face off. Putting my hand against his throat as I attempted to keep him at bay. He was fresh and stronger than me. I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep this up long. Building strength, I shoved him away from me, starting to bite at the ropes, tearing at it with my teeth. He was on his feet faster than I thought possible for one of the dead.

"Come on." I growled, tasting blood as I continued to gnaw on the ropes.

Joe neared me again, making me pause and grip him again. Shoving him away, I kept gnawing and pulling on the ropes. My lips and nails were torn, blood covering more of me than anything, and I was losing energy. When he reached me a third time, I pressed against his chest as his hand gripped my hair and the other my shoulder. His mouth was coming closer and closer to my face, my arm shaking as I attempted to keep him at bay. But it was no use. I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes.

"Please." I said to Joe, knowing that he was no longer him, but I couldn't help myself.

My grip was failing.

Only then the door burst open and I gasped as an arrow appeared through Joe's head. Shoving him away, I took in Daryl.

"Oh thank god." I told him.

"Caroline." He said before rushing forward.

Wrapping his arms around me, I embraced him, gripping him tightly and I shook and started to cry against him. His hand found the back of my head as I buried my face in his neck, bringing my hand to the top of his head. Letting me go, he quickly untied me, pulling me into a proper hug.

"Thank you." I told him.

He let me go, nodding, "Every time I see ya, you're bleeding."

Laughing, I threw my arms around his neck again, "I'll work on that."

He let me go, smirking down at me, "I don't gotta carry ya outta here again, do I?"

"No." I smiled. "I'm not that bad off."

"You sure look it." A voice said from behind him.

Looking around him, I nodded, "Rick."

He stepped inside, looking at me up and down, "You're a mess."

"I am." I confirmed as I raised a brow.

He smirked, "Come on."

Nodding, I'd only taken a step when there was a gunshot. Looking at the door in front of me, I looked at Rick. He nodded, his hand finding my back as he led me from the warehouse. The town was quiet, a group of survivors huddled together by the entrance.

"Karen?" I said as she came into sight.

She turned and threw herself at me, "You're alive!"

Laughing lightly, I hugged her back, "Somehow I keep escaping death." She laughed and hugged me tighter.

"Linny?"

Letting her go, I turned to see Michonne. My tears were renewed as I took her in, rushing to my friend and hugged her tightly. She just lost Andrea and I knew that that would hurt her. She was her person and now she was gone.

"The Governor?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "He escaped after killing his army."

"What?" I frowned. "He killed everyone?"

She nodded, "Karen was all that was left from the group he attacked us with."

"Attacked?" I frowned at Karen.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." She told me.

"We all did." Tyreese added as he appeared next to her. "We're sorry."

Nodding, I smiled at them before turning to Rick, "What now?"

He looked around at everyone who was looking at him, expecting him to have all the answers. Stepping up to him, I cocked my head, smiling at him. For a long moment he just looked at me, then he broke a smile and nodded at me.

"Alright."

Smiling, I nodded back at him.

"Let's go!" He called. "To the bus!"

Starting to move toward it, I fell behind quickly, unable to keep up. Michonne stopped and smiled at me, waiting for me to catch up. Her arm found my waist and she attempted to take some of my weight from me. Smiling at her, Daryl had stopped as well, raising a brow at me.

"I said no." I told him.

In the next second my legs were scooped from under me, only the pain that accompanied it made me scream and struggle in his arms.

"Put me down." I cried before forcing myself from his arms, landing hard on the ground. Daryl was immediately in front of me as I moved to my knees, sitting on my heels. "I'm sorry." I told him, putting my hand against his bicep. "I'm sorry, Daryl."

"What did they do to ya?" He frowned at me.

"Just about everything." I smirked at him.

"Linny?" Rick said coming to my side. "Come on."

"I can't." I told him. "Just get everyone back to the prison. I could use a few minutes on my own."

He nodded at me before squatting and taking my waist, pulling me onto my feet. "Hold on to me."

"Rick." I said with pain.

"Hey." He said putting his hand against my face. "Let's go home."

He blurred as tears filled my eyes, "Okay."

He pressed a quick kiss against my forehead, moving me toward the bus. Michonne helped me up the steps and to the nearest seat. Leaning against the window, I looked out of it, knowing this was going to be the last time I saw Woodbury. Michonne sat next to me, gently putting my hair behind my ear, moving closer to me.

"You're gonna be okay." She told me.

I turned my head and looked at her, "I know."

Tears filled her eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"Me, too." I replied, tears filling my own. "I'm so sorry about everything."

"Shhh." She said running her fingers through my hair.

Starting to cry again, I rested my head against her shoulder, crying until everything fell away. Sleep took me and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe, the motion of the bus comforting. The feeling and warmth of Michonne next to me was more than I could have asked for. I should've died. I should have died in that room and yet they came for me. I was alive and was going to be okay all because of this group that I stumbled upon to deliver formula to. Because of them I felt like I could be happy again.

Being woken slowly, I groaned as I shifted, crying out a little as my muscles protested. Michonne ran her hand down my face, her thumb wiping a tear from my cheek. Looking at her, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Shifting, I realized that we were the last on the bus. Sitting up, I groaned, my stomach turning and my head spinning.

"Do you need help?" She asked me.

I simply groaned and nodded. She disappeared, the silence of the bus was unsettling. Leaning back again, I cried out before a soft sob broke from me. Everyone was dead. There were good men fighting for the Governor. Caesar was with him. Just one more person lost to this fucking world. Shumpert. Paul. Good men.

Hearing steps, hoping it would be Daryl, I was mildly disappointed when Rick came into view. Raising a brow at him, he simply smirked and sat next to me, slouching down in the seat. He shut his eyes and just sat there. Sighing, I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Regretting your choice at taking in all these people?" I asked him.

"No." He replied with his eyes still shut.

"What are you thinking then?"

He opened his eyes and met mine, "For the first time in a while, I'm not thinking anything."

I smiled at him, "Nothing at all?"

"Well, I was thinking that you really do look like shit." He stated and started to laugh.

Laughing with him, I nodded, "Yeah, I do. But that's because you gave me to them."

His smile fell away. "I'm sorry." He said and I knew that he meant it. "I'm sorry, Linny."

I frowned at him, "Like you said. I'm a fighter."

"I know." He said and sighed at me. "I knew you could do it."

Smiling, nodding, the tears came back, making me slouch down next to him. "If Daryl hadn't barged in when he did I would dead right now." I told him, seeing him frown at me. "They beat me, Rick. They cut me. They drowned me. They…"

"Did they…?" He said sitting and leaning toward me.

"No." I replied, meeting his eyes. "No. That's the one thing they didn't do. Not really. They touched but they didn't…" I said and trailed off.

"Jesus, Linny." He said angrily.

Anger started to fill me. "I want to see past it, Rick. I do. But the only reason they had the opportunity to do what they did is because of you." Forcing myself up, I looked down at him. "Move."

"I'm sorry."

"Move!" I yelled at him.

"Linny…" He said but moved.

"This is all your fault." I told him, moving from the bus.

Sliding down the stairs, I attempted to walk into the prison, grateful to see Daryl moving toward me with Michonne. Opening my good arm to him, he collided with me, scooping me up into his arms. It hurt like a bitch but now I was so angry I didn't care anymore. Holding tight to him, I was brought inside, being set on a table so Hershel could take a look at me.

"Is this going to be a habit for you?" He smirked down at me.

"God I hope not." I smirked back. Then he touched me and a scream erupted from me so fast it took my breath away. "Jesus."

"How is she?"

"Maggie." I said looking for her from where I lay.

"Maggie, I'm going to need a few things." He told her.

She nodded, "I got it."

"Daryl." Hershel said. "She may struggle so I'm going to need you to be ready to hold her down. Michonne, too."

"Hershel." Rick said appearing.

"Go away." I told him.

"Linny." He said looking down at me with a sad expression.

"Go away!" I yelled at him. "This is all your goddamn fault!"

All eyes were on Rick. He simply nodded and stepped back, "I'm sorry."

"You gave me to them." I said softly. "You gave me to them and this is what happened. I fucking hate you, Rick." I told him with conviction. "Get the hell away from me."

"Linny." Michonne said softly. "He did what he thought he had to."

"I don't care." I said staring at the ceiling.

Then Daryl's face was hovering over mine, "You're gonna be okay. He knew that."

"The only reason I'm okay is because you came in when you did. Otherwise I'd be dead right now."

"You're gonna feel like death for a few days." Hershel told me. "It'll give you plenty of time to think." He added before meeting my eyes. "And to forgive."

Laughing, I shook my head, "Ever the religious one."

Then I was screaming.

When I woke up, I was once again in a cell, looking up at the same bunk I had before. I was afraid to move. I was so sick of being in pain. Physically and mentally. I was so tired. I was just so tired.

"Linny?" A voice said from next to me.

"Why are you here, Rick?" I frowned, shutting my eyes again.

"How are you feeling?" He asked feeling his hand against my hair.

Tears ran from the corners of my eyes, "Get your hand off of me."

He did, sighing, "You're gonna be okay."

"Okay."

"It was touch and go. You stopped breathing but…uh…you know, Hershel took care of that." He told me sadly.

"He's a good man." I replied, keeping my eyes shut. "I'm tired, Rick."

"Yeah. Right." He said. Opening my eyes, I looked up at him. He nodded at me, "Get some rest."

Shutting my eyes, I didn't say anything to him. He sighed and left, hearing his steps fade. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, drifting back to sleep. Only this time my mind was plagued with everything that I'd been through, waking me with a start.

"Has she woken up yet?" I heard Maggie ask.

"For a few minutes." Rick told her.

"How is she?"

He scoffed, "She hates me."

"She should." Maggie shot at him, making me love her even more. "You handed her right over to them, Rick. And look what happened to her."

"I honestly didn't think they'd hurt her as much as they did." He replied. "She was one of them."

"She was one of us." She told him harshly. "She stopped breathing, Rick. They nearly killed her."

"I know." He replied. "But she's a fighter. She's been fighting."

"She's struggling, Rick." She shot at him. "Just like you are. You don't know her story but it's surprisingly similar."

"Are you gonna tell me?" He asked.

"No." She replied.

"Get the hell outta here." Daryl interrupted. I couldn't help but smile. "Give her a little goddamn space. She has a right to hate you. You handed her over like she was nothin'. You were gonna do the same to Michonne."

There wasn't a reply but the retreating of steps. Another set started to move away as well, and then someone entered the cell. Meeting Daryl's eyes, he smiled, sitting against the wall next to me. For a long moment we just looked at each other. I'd never be able to repay him. He'd saved my life more than anyone else. I owed him everything.

"You look like shit."

I laughed lightly, "I probably smell like it, too."

He smirked, shaking his head, "Nah. I've smelled worse."

Laughing harder, I stopped, groaning, but the smile stayed on my face. "Thank you, Daryl. For everything."

"It's what we do. We look out for each other." Nodding, I attempted to sit up, only to have him stop me. "I don't think so."

"Daryl." I frowned.

"You were up too soon before. Not this time."

Sighing, I smiled, "Okay."

He moved closer to me, taking my hand, bringing it against his chest, "One more day."

"Do we have one more day?" I frowned at him.

He smiled, rubbing the top of my hand, "We have all the time in the world."

Days passed and slowly but surely I got better and better. It sucked and I spent more time in pain than anything else but it started to ebb away, letting me move around more and more. For a while I was never without an escort and I had to admit that it was so fucking obnoxious that I wanted to scream. Most of the time it was either Maggie or Michonne but then it was Hershel and Glenn. It was Daryl. It was Carl at times. It was always someone. God forbid I fall over once or twice while I healed. But then they lengthened their leash on me, letting me wander around without being constantly watched.

It was in the moments where I was finally alone that I would find a small dark corner and cry until I couldn't anymore. Sobbing where no one could hear me. Letting out all the pain and agony that I was feeling. I had finally started to feel better. After Ben and Hannah and Mozzie, I'd finally found a place to call home and then I was handed over like a piece of meat. Rick thought that he didn't have a choice. He thought that somehow I held enough sway that they wouldn't hurt me.

Such fucking bullshit.

Gently playing with my nails, they'd scabbed over, knowing it would be months before they would grow back. A shiver ran up my spine as I remembered what it felt and looked like to watch my nail separate from my finger. Not something you see every day. Sniffling, attempting to rein in my emotions, I let a few more stray tears fall before I took a deep shuddering breath.

Getting to my feet, I made my way back into the prison. Moving to where the water basins here, I splashed water against my face, running my hands across my neck. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. Shutting my eyes, I tried not to think about the cell and the men. Tried not to think of Rick so nonchalantly handing me over to the Governor as a fucking consolation prize.

A hand touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin, spinning to face who it was. "Jesus."

"I'm sorry." Rick told me softly, holding up his hands.

"Don't touch me." I told him shuddering. Then I shoved him away from me. "Don't ever touch me again!"

Rushing away from him, he jogged after me, skidding in front of me, "Linny, please."

"Don't." I said trying to go around him.

"Caroline, please." He repeated, continuing to try and move in front of me. "Just listen to me."

"You've done well to stay away from me. I suggest you keep it up." I retorted.

"Care."

"Where's Daryl?" I asked as I moved out of the prison.

"He left for a run." He replied.

I stopped and looked at him, "He what? Without me?"

"You don't need to go."

"Don't you dare try and tell me what I need, Rick." I shot at him, pointing my finger at him. "Don't you dare."

"I'm sorry." He said softening his tone. "Caroline, please, just let me talk."

"I don't want to hear what you have to say!" I yelled at him. "Why can't you get that through your head?"

Rushing off again, he was still following me, "Caroline."

"Jesus, Rick! What the hell is the matter with you?!" I yelled.

"Caroline." Tyreese said stepping up to me, eyeing Rick.

Rick looked at him, putting his hands on his hips. Then he looked at me, nodding before he walked away. Feeling tears, I leaned over, putting my hands on my thighs as my stomach turned. I hated him. I just couldn't see past it. He gave me up. Straightening, I looked up at Tyreese, biting my lip.

He nodded at me, "I know, baby. Come on."

Wrapping my arm around him, he led me to where people were killing walkers along the fence. There wasn't too many yet, but their numbers were building all the time. We stepped up to Karen who stopped and looked at me sadly. Nodding, I ran my fingers through my hair. She stepped forward, wrapping her arm around my neck, careful not to touch me with the gloves she was wearing. Hugging her tightly, I pressed my face into her shoulder.

"Is it getting any better?" She asked.

"Not really." I replied.

"Just when you thought you were getting past your family…" She smiled at me sadly.

Laughing, I nodded at her, "The nightmares are the worst."

"You should have someone share your cell so you're not alone." She replied.

"No." I retorted harshly before I quickly changed my tone. "I'm sorry. But Michonne is with me. She needs her bunk when she gets back."

"She never stays, Linny."

"I know." I nodded. "But when she does she's going to need it."

She sighed and nodded at me before looking at Tyreese, "Baby, will you take her to get something to eat and drink?"

"I'm not a child, Karen." I frowned at her.

She smiled, "I know, sweetie. But you don't eat enough and you don't get enough water."

Sighing, I knew she was right. "Do you need any help out here?"

"Not from you."

Scoffing, I nodded, "Okay."

Tyreese leaned down and kissed Karen before he put his hands on my shoulders, "Come on, trouble maker, let's go."

Sighing, I was annoyed and yet couldn't tell them that they were wrong. Going back up to the prison, he made me sit at the picnic table outside, telling me to stay before he disappeared. Sighing, taking in the nice breeze, I smiled.

"Linny." Carl said softly.

"Hey, sweetie." I smiled at him.

"Can I sit?" He asked.

I nodded, "You don't have to ask."

He nodded back, "I know. But I like to make sure."

"You don't have to walk on eggshells around me either." I stated with annoyance.

"I think everyone is after what happened."

"I know." I nodded. "But they don't have to."

"You just seem so sad and angry all the time."

"I am sad and angry all the time." I grinned at him. He just looked at me with a sad expression. Sighing, I shifted closer to him. "I'm sorry, Carl. But after what happened it makes trust and happiness a little hard to come by. It's only been a few weeks."

"I know." He replied. "I just want to help."

"You know what helps?" I asked him getting him to shake his head at me. "This. You talking to me helps."

"Then I guess I'll keep talking to you." He smiled.

"Good."

Tyreese came back with a sandwich and vegetables, setting the plate in front of me. He looked down at me, crossing his arms with authority. Smiling, laughing lightly, I started to eat while Carl started to animatedly talk about the comics he had been reading. It didn't take long for him to get me to agree to read them with him. Tyreese joined us, as well as Sasha before Maggie and Glenn came by as well. Our little family seemingly to always stick together.

When I finally got up after being monitored and cleared for a satisfactory intake of food and water, I moved toward the watchtower, wanting to do something productive. Climbing the ladder up, I let myself through the hatch to see Carol looking down at me.

"Hey." I smiled at her.

"How you feeling?" She asked.

"Better all the time." I replied.

"Here to take over?"

I nodded, "Yes, please."

"Good." She smiled.

Grinning, I nodded at her, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not babying me like everyone else."

She laughed lightly, "Everyone else has had to deal with your wrath. You're scary when you want to be. Lately that's been often."

I sighed and nodded. "I'm working on that."

"You have to forgive Rick. That's what will help you heal."

I shook my head, "Could you just forgive him?"

She smiled, "I know him well. I think he deserves forgiveness."

"I know." I replied. "I actually do know that. But it's hard, Carol. It's really hard."

Touching my wrist where there were scars from the ropes, she took it from me, holding it in both her hands, running her thumbs across the marks. "It is hard, Caroline. I was abused for many years. But the moment I let it all go and forgave Ed for everything he did…I felt better."

Smiling, I nodded, "I'll try."

She gently tapped my nose, "Good girl."

Laughing lightly, I took a breath, "Thanks."

She nodded, handing me the rifle before she let herself down. Circling the tower, I kept watch for anything out of the ordinary. Watching the people below me, our numbers were rising. It wasn't just those from Woodbury anymore. It was people that had been found and brought in by Rick and Daryl. They were all good people and everyone contributed to our lives here. Everyone had a job to do. That's what Hershel always said.

Hearing the ladder, when the hatch opened, Rick appeared. Rolling my eyes, I wasn't ready to talk to him. I told Carol I would try but I didn't mean right now. He smiled at me sweetly, making me glare at him. He shifted, attempting to meet my eyes but seemed nervous about it.

"Carol? I asked. "Already?"

"She works fast." He smirked. "Just yell at me, Linny. You have hardly talked to me. Just yell and get it off your chest."

"Why do you care so damn much, Rick?" I shot at him. "You didn't even want me here."

"I do now." He replied softly.

Laughing, I paced away from him, taking deep breaths. Stopping, I looked at him, holding my breath until I screamed, rushed to him and punched him as hard as I could. He fell backward against the railing, falling to the floor. Breathing hard now, I didn't realize I was going to hit him again until I did. Again and again and again. Hitting him as I screamed. All the while he simply let me, not saying a word or even trying to defend himself. Screaming, hitting him once more, I fell to my knees, crying.

"It's okay." He said softly.

Looking up at him, his lip was dripping blood, his cheeks and jaw red, and his brow was swelling. Shaking took me over, as well as guilt, and then I had his head in my hands, brushing the hair from his face.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "Rick, I'm sorry."

He brought his hands to my neck, smiling at me, "Shhh, Linny, it's okay."

"It's not okay." I told him, shaking my head. "It's not okay, Rick. I'm not this person anymore. I'm just so… _mad_ at you."

"I know." He replied. "I know, Linny. I'm mad at me, too."

Throwing my arms around his neck, I hugged him tightly, sobbing into him. He held me just as tightly, holding me until I started to cry myself to sleep. Realizing what was happening, I swiftly moved away from him, moving so there was several feet of space between us.

"Better?" He asked gently.

"Better." I replied.

We didn't say anything else and he eventually left, leaving me alone. Sasha was up next, taking over as the sun started to set. We talked for a while before I left, ready for dinner and bed. Going inside, Maggie walked toward me, holding a bowl of food. Smiling, I took it, starting to devour the venison stew that Carol had made.

"This is amazing. Thank you." I told her as we sat at the table.

"How are you feeling?" She smiled.

"Better." I told her. "Did he tell you or could you hear me?"

"Both." She replied.

Sighing, I nodded, "It felt good but it didn't change anything, Maggie."

"He's sorry, Linny."

"And I'll forgive him." I added. "You know, eventually."

She laughed lightly, shaking her head at me. "Someday you'll forgive him and it'll feel so damn good you won't know why you waited so long."

"You're probably right." I smiled.

It seemed my hatred for Rick was a constant topic of conversation. But along with that we learned just about all there was to know about each other. We truly were a family. And with nothing else to do, getting to know each other was the most excitement we had sometimes.

"Hey." I smiled at Carl when the prison was starting to get quiet.

"It's about time." He smiled back.

Laughing lightly, I stepped into his cell, "I know. I'm just a horrible person to keep you waiting like this."

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

Rushing forward, I leapt over him, "So, what are we reading?"

" _Invincible_." He said showing me the cover.

"Oooo." I grinned at him. "Sounds exciting. Start reading."

He looked at me, "If I'm reading then you're holding the flashlight."

"Deal." I told him, grabbing the light.

Getting comfortable, he started to read and I couldn't help but relax as I listened to him. He even did the voices, making it that much more entertaining. Carl wasn't perfect but I loved the shit out of him. He was amazing and with the help of his father he had still gotten to be a kid. He needed that. We all did. The more I listened to him, the more relaxed I became, finding myself drifting off. It was probably the most relaxed I'd been in a while. I hoped that it was finally a turning point for me. Maybe I was getting over it. Maybe I could finally start to forgive.


	17. Calm Before the Storm

**Chapter Seventeen: Calm Before the Storm**

The woods were quiet, making the sound of the birds and the trees that much more peaceful. There was no growling. There was no running and screaming. No one was after us or looking to take our home. We were safe. Following a familiar trail through the woods, I couldn't help but sigh as my mind went through my memories of the past. A past that was about to help our future. We were out here to bring some good back to the prison. Our numbers were growing and we needed to grow and breed and do whatever we had to do to survive. We were making it. We were surviving and it was one of the best feelings in the world.

"Are we close?" Daryl asked me.

Smiling at him, I nodded, "Very."

Moving forward with purpose, the remains of the cabin were barely a quarter of a mile away. Rick was the only other person who knew where it was but, so far, he'd kept his distance. I'd been disappearing, coming here regularly, but I never brought anything back with me. There were still so many things to figure out that I didn't want to offer up everything only to lose it if something fell through. But as soon as Rick made it clear that we were staying and that we needed to farm the land and make something of ourselves, I knew that I couldn't keep them out here anymore. I brought it up to Rick who swiftly approved of the plan, I'd made preparations and now it was time to bring everyone in.

When the trees gave way, the remains of the cabin were in front of us, looking just as horrible as I remembered it. I couldn't help the ache in my chest, making me swallow hard as emotion started to ebb into it. For a second I could picture Mozzie and Hannah playing in the yard. I could hear Ben's laugh as he stood in jeans and a white tee, dirt smeared across him. He always smelled so natural. It was actually kind of gross at times. That was one of the things that made me realize that what I felt for him was real. I was in love with him. We lived here. We had a life here and this is what happened to it.

"What if this is what always happens?" I asked Daryl softly.

"It's not, Linny." He replied, wrapping his arms around me from behind. "It's been months and nothing has happened. We're safe. We're surviving."

"He's still out there, Daryl." I said sadly, leaning into him.

He sighed, pressing his face into my shoulder, "I know. But we'll find him and we'll kill him."

Turning my head, I pressed my forehead against his temple, sighing heavily. "Okay."

"Let's do this." He told me.

Smiling, I nodded, momentarily gripping his fingers before moving around the remains, seeing the fence. Jogging forward, the mare came up, bobbing her head before she put her nose in my hands. Laughing, I swiftly threw my arms around her.

"Good girl."

"How are we going to get all of this back?" He asked.

"Any way we can." I replied.

Spending the rest of the afternoon fixing up a broken wagon to be able to be pulled, we were well on our way to success. I spent more time chasing chickens than anything, getting Daryl to laugh more than I'd ever heard. He was an amazing person, locked inside of a foul mouthed redneck. But I adored the shit out of that man. He had been the rock in my recovery and had been one step behind me ever since. Or vice versa. I was behind him in everything. Even when I shouldn't be.

"This beats searching for survivors." I smirked at him as I put the final chicken in the makeshift cage I'd fashioned for them.

He scoffed, "Nah, I like bringing them in."

"I know." I nodded, stepping up to the stallion. "We lost a couple goats." I told him.

He nodded at me, "We have enough."

Sighing, I looked at the cabin before triple checking the saddles, placing the last few things in the saddlebags. Feeling Daryl's eyes on me, I did a double-take, seeing the sad expression on his face. Offering him a small smile, he nodded, mounting the mare with heavy hesitation. I was still surprised that he'd gotten on one at all. If it went poorly, I was confident that he would never get on one ever again. Making sure he was okay, I moved to the stallion and swiftly pulled myself onto the saddle. Looking behind me, I scanned the area for anything we missed, before making sure the wagon was secure. Taking a deep breath, I nodded to myself before we started to move. We were just past the fence when I stopped, needing to take one last look at the remains of my old home. I knew that it would be the last time I saw it.

"It makes it real." Daryl said when we were about halfway home.

"What does?" I asked.

"Seeing the cabin." He replied. "All of this."

"What about it?" I frowned at him with annoyance.

He met my eyes, "It makes your story real."

Sighing, I nodded at him. "That's because it is real, Daryl." I frowned. "I told you my story because I felt like you could relate."

"You were also drunk." He smirked.

Laughing lightly, I nodded again, "Yeah, I was definitely drunk."

"I'm glad ya told me." He added.

"You earned it." I smiled.

We were silent the rest of the way home. A completely comfortable silence. Home had grown loud with all our members, making this quiet time very much needed. Not only that, but Daryl was the expert on being silent. He spoke more in what he didn't say than what he did. And when he did have something to say it was always important to listen to him.

"What?" He asked when he caught me staring at him.

"Nothing." I replied softly.

"Then why ya staring?" He asked next.

Grinning, I shook my head, looking away from him. "Is it so wrong that I like looking at you?"

He smirked at me, "Yeah. It's creepy."

"Whatever, Pookie." I teased him.

"Shut up." He said and shoved me lightly.

I laughed and shoved him back, making him have a minor panic attack. It only made me laugh harder. Carol's nickname for him was one of the highlights of my life. Using it against him was both agonizing for him and it annoyed her. For some reason, we hadn't quite bonded the same way I had with the others. Not really sure why, but part of me felt like it was because of Daryl and how close we were. Or maybe it was just because she wasn't my favorite person. But she made it obvious that I wasn't one of hers either.

When we reached the prison, we were quickly let through, making our way to the makeshift barn that already held a horse and a pig. We had done well for ourselves. This was just one more reason to be happy that we had survived. We had livestock. We had created a way for endless fresh water. We had a roof and beds. We were _living_. If this was the only contribution I could make, it would be enough.

"You're back." Rick smiled stepping up to us.

Daryl nodded, "It took a little longer than we thought but we managed."

"Need help getting everyone settled?" He asked.

"No." I replied quickly. "We've got it."

"Daryl!" Carol called from the main yard. "I need your help with something!"

I scoffed, "Yeah, getting her jollies on."

"Stop." Daryl smirked at me.

Laughing, I shoved him, "You know she has a thing for you."

"Stop." He said shoving me harder, making me slam into the cow.

Laughing harder, I shoved him again but he was already moving toward her. I would never understand those two. But they had history that I would never get in the middle of them. They had a bond that was hard to find and I would never want to harm that.

"I can help." Rick told me.

"I don't care." I shot at him. "You can go."

He smirked, "You sound like you should be running the place."

"Maybe I should." I shot at him.

"Linny."

"Shut up, Rick." I told him. "Don't think that me doing this changes anything. I did it for everyone. Not just you."

"I know." He nodded. "Let me help anyway."

Clenching my jaw, I knew he wasn't going to give up. He would keep pushing until I agreed or got fed up and walked away. Deciding that I wouldn't leave the animals I'd known for months, I started to unload everyone, putting them in their respective pastures. The chickens had a separate coop and it took ages to get it to where I thought they would be safe. The horses, cow, and the last two goats could share the fenced in area we'd made for them. The barn had been fun to build and it offered enough shelter for everyone with plenty of room for expanding.

"I need you to take a look at the pig." Rick told me when we were done.

I was standing with the cow, hugging her head as she put it over my shoulder, "What about her?"

"I don't know. I just want you to take a look at her."

Meeting his eyes, I knew what he was doing, "No, you want to keep me out here longer since we're officially done."

"You're the vet tech. I feel like something is wrong with her." He replied.

Sighing, I kissed the cow's cheek before following Rick to the other pen. They got one all to themselves. Going to the sow, I checked her from head to toe, spending ample time palpating her abdomen. Straightening, I walked to the small storage area, washing my hands in the small basin there.

"Well?" He asked.

"She's pregnant." I told him.

"Good." He smiled. "That's really good. One more source of food we don't have to worry about."

Nodding, I made my way up the hill, ready for a shower and a late dinner. Hoping he would finally catch the hint, he didn't, following me all the way up. He followed me until we reached my cell, grabbing clean clothes.

"Linny." He said softly. "Eventually you're going to have to forgive me."

As soon as he said it, my shoulder blade twitched with phantom pain, making me reach over my shoulder and rub it. He knew what was happening, looking at me sadly. Holding out my arm, I ran my fingers along scaring that I had received from when he'd given me to the Governor and his men. Frowning, he simply nodded and stepped out of my way.

He'd been trying since the second I woke up. He wanted to make amends. He wanted me to not hate him. But I did. I hated him. I would probably hate him for a good long while. It wasn't some irrational hatred toward him. He was the reason I nearly died. He was the reason I was beaten and water was poured down my throat till I nearly drowned and the reason I had ended up tied to a chair with a walker attacking me and no way of defending myself. It wasn't irrational. It was earned. He earned my hate.

"How'd it go?" Maggie asked when I found her in her cell after I'd cleaned up.

"It went well." I told her, dropping onto the bed next to her, braiding my wet hair over my shoulder.

"You okay?" She asked.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, thinking of how I wanted to answer that. "Yeah. I'm just…frustrated."

"Rick?"

"He keeps showing up and talking to me like nothing happened." I replied quickly, frowning.

"He knows what happened, Linny. He knows and he's sorry."

"I know." I told her sadly. "I know he's sorry. I know that he didn't mean for anything like that to happen. He truly believed that I could handle it." Pausing, I scoffed. "Maybe that's what bugs me the most. I thought I could handle it too and I couldn't. I knew he was going to come for me. I knew he was but at the same time, he let it happen. He let me get taken and if you were there you would have thought he decided it without thinking about it. He just handed me over to them."

"He was scared, Linny." She replied softly. "He was scared for you the whole time. He was also considering giving Michonne up in exchange for you. That was how guilty he felt."

"He was going to give her up, too." I frowned at her. "He let Merle take her."

"And Merle gave his life to save her." She replied softly.

Sighing, I felt emotion building, "He finally turns into a good guy and he gets himself killed." I told her and scoffed. "It sucks."

"Yeah." She replied. "You hungry?"

"Starving."

Going out to the dining area, Tyreese was still cooking, Karen right next to him. They were adorable. He'd been sweet on her for a while, and with the right motivation, she had come around. I was happy for them.

"Hey, friend." Karen grinned at me.

Tyreese gently gripped my arm, leaning down and pressed a kiss against my cheek, "Caroline."

Smiling, I momentarily wrapped my arms around him, pressing myself against his chest. He chuckled, hugging me tightly. Letting him go, he handed me a plate with meat, potatoes, and veggies on it.

"Thank you." I smiled up at him.

"I made sure there was some left for you." He replied.

Grinning, I nudged him, "You're a good man."

Turning around, my eyes fell on a nearby table where only one person was sitting. Sighing, I looked at Maggie. She smiled and took the plate from me. Taking a deep breath, I nodded, moving toward table. There was a young woman sitting there. She was tall and lanky with straight dark hair; big eyes and an attitude that made me want to commit murder.

"Hey, Ray." I told her. "Behaving?"

"I'm fine." She replied nonchalantly.

"Not what I asked." I replied with annoyance.

She let out a heavy sigh and looked up at me, "Yeah. I'm behaving."

"Yeah?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

She met my eyes, "You don't have to hover. I'm fine. No one asked you to look out for me."

"You know that's not true." I frowned at her. "But fine, I won't hover."

"Please, go do whatever the hell you were going to do." She shot up at me.

Laughing lightly, I shook my head, "Fine. But when something happens – and it always does – don't come crying to me. Pretty soon I won't give a shit about you."

"Finally." She muttered.

Trying not to let her get to me, I walked to where Maggie was sitting. Taking a seat, I shook my head at her. "She drives me crazy."

"I know." She replied. "But you're all she's got."

"No. _We_ are all she's got. We're a community. We're all in this together. I am not her mother."

"I know." She nodded.

"So, moving on." I replied a little harsher than I meant to.

Sighing, I started to eat, relaxing as I enjoyed the food. The only drawback was how much I missed ketchup. Something so simple and yet was a staple in my life. It made everything delicious. As if reading my mind, two glorious little packets were dropped next to me. Lighting up, it immediately faded as I looked up to see Rick. Sighing, I was almost going to refuse them, but I couldn't. Raising a brow, I picked them up, opening them and put them over the meat. Venison. Daryl had done well for us.

Rick sat down across from me, watching me as I actively ignored him. Instead I simply smiled as I devoured the food, drooling as the ketchup hit my tongue. Feeling Rick's eyes on me, I finally looked up at him.

Sighing, I nodded at him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He told me.

"Linny." Carl said coming up to me.

"Carl!" I exclaimed happily.

He sat next to me, "You told me to find you when you got back."

"I did." I smiled. "Wanna go on a run with me tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He said with excitement. "I'd love to."

"Carl." Rick said frowning now.

He looked at his dad, "What? I'm safe with her."

"I know." Rick nodded. "But there are other things you could be doing here."

"I asked, Rick." I told him as kindly as I could muster. "It would be nice to get out of here for few days."

"A few days?" Rick frowned.

"Yeah." I retorted.

"What are you looking for?"

Scoffing, I shook my head, "Do I have to be looking for something specific? Maybe I just want to see what else is out there."

"It's too dangerous for something like that." He stated. "The Governor is still out there."

"I know." I told him. "But I'm not going to be looking for him. I just…need to get away and thought Carl might, too."

Rick was clearly annoyed, scoffing, laughing lightly before he got up and walked away. Watching him go, I felt a twinge of guilt. But it passed quickly, looking at Carl who was clearly excited about it.

"He'll be okay." I told him. "And we're going to have fun for a few days. Maybe we'll even find some hidden treasures that we can bring back with us."

"I'm excited." He beamed up at me.

"Get some rest then, we're going to be leaving early." I told him. He hugged me before getting up and quickly walked away. Smiling after him, I saw Maggie giving me a look. "What?"

"Don't do this just to spite him." She told me.

"I'm not." I told her. "I honestly just want a few days away and feel like Carl could use a little space from his father."

"Rick won't even let him use a gun." She stated.

"He won't have to." I retorted. "I'm not going to be leading us into danger. I just want to get away."

"You've been on several runs since you've been healed enough to travel. You've been away. Why can't you just stay home for a while?"

"You don't need me here." I told her. "And being here is harder than being out there."

"Because of Rick?" She asked softly. Sighing, I nodded. "What about Daryl?"

"He's been with me more than anyone." I smirked at her. "Next to you and Michonne."

"And Rick."

"Stop pushing him on me." I shot at her. "I don't have to like him. I just have to listen to him."

"But you don't."

"I do when it matters." I retorted. "When it's personal, than no, but if he demanded something than you know I would do it. I'm not stupid. Rick is our leader. I get that and I respect him for his leadership. Just not his decisions."

"I know."

"Can we not talk about him anymore?" I frowned.

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Thank you."

Michonne appeared next to me, sitting down, "Rick looked pissed, what happened?"

Slamming my hand against the table, I looked at her, "Seriously?"

"What?" She asked.

"I'm gonna go pack." I told her and walked away.

Going back to my cell, I pulled out my rucksack, starting to put in a few clean shirts inside of it, two knives, my gun and all the clips I had. I wasn't planning on needing a quarter of this but I didn't want to be caught off guard either.

"Hey." Michonne said appearing in the doorway. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." I told her, putting my notepad and pen in the bag.

"Linny." She said softly.

Sitting on my bed, I sighed and looked up at her, "I just need to get away, Michonne." She smiled and sat next to me. "You've been gone a lot too but he doesn't seem to care about that."

"He does." She replied. "He just hasn't wronged me the way he has you."

Laughing, I stood and started to put things into my bag again. "Yeah, he changed his mind before you could be given up to the Governor."

"He changed his mind when it came to you, too." She replied. "But with you it was a decision he had to make on the spot. He needed to buy time and the only way he thought he could do that was by giving you to him."

"I know." I told him. "I know, okay? It doesn't change the fact that it happened."

"I know."

I knew why he did what he did. I understood the reasons. But it didn't change the way I felt and having everyone keep pushing me to make peace was getting insufferable. I swore every five minutes it was either people wanting me to forgive Rick or it was because Ray had done or said something. I wanted a little goddamn space to just be in my own head and with people who weren't going to push or complain. I could do that with Carl. We'd talk and read comics and just… _relax_. Something we both desperately needed.

"Have you had any luck out there?" I asked her.

She sighed, "No. But he's out there. I'll find him."

Smiling, I nudged her, "Yes, you will."

Staying in, the day was spent and we were more than content to stay in our little home. We laughed and talked until the prison grew quiet. I needed sleep and I knew that she never got enough of it. Especially with all her comings and goings. Lying on my bunk together, we fell asleep, feeling warm and safe with her next to me. She had been more supportive than anyone. She understood me in a way that everyone else didn't. She made me feel strong when I felt weak. She was kind of amazing.

Waking early, the prison was alive with the sound of everyone sleeping. Noises coming from the surrounding cells, drifting through the halls. Smiling, I got up, getting a drink of water before finding myself some breakfast.

"Hey." Maggie said appearing next to me.

"Hey." I smiled at her. "Here to talk some sense into me?"

"No." She smiled. "Here." She said and handed me a small box.

Opening it, I saw a suture kit, antibiotics, bandages, and coban wrap. "Thank you." I told her.

"I know you have supplies but you can never have too much."

"I appreciate it." I smiled at her.

She shrugged, "It's a practical gift."

"It's still very much appreciated." I told her.

"If you insist on going out there, you might as well be prepared."

Hugging her tightly, she hugged me even tighter. "Thank you."

"And don't worry about Ray. I'll keep an eye on her." She smiled.

Sighing, relaxing, I nodded at her, "Thank you."

"Maybe you should take her with."

Laughing, I shook my head, "No. I don't trust her outside the gates. And I need a few days away from her, too. I just need to get away, Maggie."

"Okay." She smiled, gently playing with my hair.

"Thank you." I told her again.

"What's going on?" Glenn asked coming up to us. "You left."

"Sorry." Maggie said leaning into him as he put his arm around her, kissing him sweetly.

Smiling as I watched them, a pit fell in my stomach, thinking about the men from my past. All of them were dead. It sucked. "Go back to bed." I told them. "I'll see you in a few days."

Leaving the prison, I walked down to the barn, feeding and watering the horses before I started to tack them up. Attaching my bag to the back of the mare, I eagerly awaited for Carl to be up and ready. I wanted to just get out of here and just enjoy ourselves. I didn't think I could be any more excited. Not only to be riding for a few days but to be spending time with Carl. It was going to be nice spending time with a person who wasn't as jaded as everyone else. I could just let loose and be myself. If I made a fool of myself in front of him, all he would do would be to join in with me. I was so ready for some good honest fun.

Hearing steps, I smiled, "It's about time." But when I turned around my smile disappeared. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm going with you." Rick smiled.

"Where's Carl?" I asked next.

"Not coming." He replied.

"Rick." I said with annoyance, making the mare nudge me. "Are you serious about this?"

"Three days." He replied, looking a little anxious now. "Just you and me."

Sighing loudly, I pressed my forehead against the mare's cheek. I knew there was no stopping him. Looking at him, I caved, "Fine. Whatever. Let's go."

He smiled and went to the stallion, "Have you named them yet?"

"No. I was going to let Carl name them." I smiled but my tone was cold.

Mounting, waiting for him to tie his bag down before I started toward the gate, seeing both Daryl and Carol manning it this morning. Daryl stepped up to me, his hand finding my leg. "Good for you."

"Stop." I frowned.

"Linny." He said making me look at him. "Good for you."

I leaned down to him, "Not by choice." He just smirked, smacking the mare's ass, making her jerk forward. "Not nice!" I called after him.

Rick was quick to come up next to me, looking comfortable in the saddle. Attempting to not look at him, I took in the woods, listening for anything and everything. I could feel his eyes on me. I didn't know what the hell he was waiting for but he needed to stop. He was only going to annoy me.

"When I started out, I had my work car, but when I ran out of gas I found a farm up the road. They happened to have a horse in their pasture and I rode it all the way to Atlanta." He told me.

He was opening up, I was sure he expected the same from me. "Fascinating." I replied blandly.

"Where were you when it started?" He asked.

"Atlanta." I replied.

"Really?" He said surprised.

Looking at him, I frowned, "Really."

"Glad you made it out before it got too bad." He smiled.

Scoffing, I shook my head, "Yeah, Rick, it was a walk in the park."

He shook his head, smiling at me, "I just can't say a damn thing right, can I?"

"Nope." I smiled back at him.

He sighed, "Linny, I didn't mean for what happened to happen. I thought we'd have gotten you out before anything could go wrong. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Does that change what happened?" I asked. "Does it make it okay?"

"No." He frowned. "It doesn't make it okay. But you can't make me feel worse than I already do. I am sorry, Linny."

Looking at him, I knew he was sorry. He felt guilty. He never meant for it to happen. "I know." I told him sadly. "I know you're sorry, Rick. I know it and I get it. I accept it. But when my phantom pain flares up and I look at the scars, I get angry. I look at you and all I feel is anger and betrayal. You handed me over and it was like you didn't even care. I thought I could trust you and look what happened."

"You can trust me." He replied.

"Can I?" I frowned. "Because I thought I could and then I was shot and beaten because you handed me over to the enemy." He bowed his head, nodding before looking in any direction but mine. "I was broken before and thought I was going to be put back together. Then you let them take me." I went on, emotion coating my words. "That's not a forgive and forget sort of situation."

"I know." He nodded, meeting my eyes again. "But it's been months, Linny."

"And it may still be months." I replied.

"Fine." He said with annoyance. "I shouldn't have come."

"No, you shouldn't have." I stated.

The day was agonizingly long. We stopped at a few small buildings to see if we could find anything. I got a little over excited about a bag of gummy bears that I had found. Even more excited about a new pair of headphones. And a little bit ridiculous over some instant coffee. Every time I lit up, Rick would watch me with a fond expression and a smile on his face. He stared so hard that it made it awkward, my happiness diminishing. I didn't want to share it with him. If Carl were here he would have joined in. Hell, we would've danced it out and laughed till our stomachs hurt. We would have had fun. Instead, I got his father who just watched me. I could feel emotions flowing off of him. I just couldn't bring myself to care. Not yet. I was still so damn mad at him.

When it was getting dark, we found a secure location where we could set up traps and make sure that both us and the horses were safe. Once that was done, all there was left was to make a fire and get some sleep. Though I was pretty sure I would have gotten more sleep if Carl were here and not Rick. Clearly I was dwelling.

"You should sleep." Rick told me.

"You first." I smirked at him.

He smiled, "You don't trust me enough to even sleep first?" I shrugged at him. "But you trust me enough to lead the group you're in?"

"That's a different sort of trust." I told him.

He nodded, "Yeah, I guess it is."

"However." I added, rolling my eyes. "I'll try."

He smiled and nodded, "Okay."

Lying down, I turned my face to the fire, hating when my nose was cold. Shutting my eyes, I cracked them open to see him watching me. Frowning at him, he just smiled back. Shutting my eyes again, I listened to him for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep, sleeping far better than I thought I would.

When I woke up, Rick was sleeping, looking awfully peaceful. Sighing, I got up and checked the horses, making sure everything was okay. Grabbing an apple, I ate it as I fed them, smiling as I trailed my fingers along their bodies as I moved around them. Grabbing my notebook, I jumped up onto the mare's back, lying on my stomach, starting to write, using her butt as a table. She shifted but didn't care, enjoying her breakfast. My hand was moving across the paper at a steady rate until there was a twig snapping. My head shot up, as well as the horses.

"There you are." Rick said appearing at my side, but not in the direction that I'd heard the snap.

My hand flew to his shoulder, "Shh."

He put his hand on my wrist, turning his head in the direction that I'd heard the noise. After a few long minutes of nothing. I finally relaxed, looking down at Rick. He smiled, only then the mare reared, a growl filling the air as the sound of cans rattled. Rick grabbed me, pulling me free of her, his arms moving firmly around my waist. Looking at the walker that was reaching for her, I freed the knife from my thigh, rushing forward and stabbed it in the head. The woods became quiet again.

Turning to Rick, he put his hand against the side of my head, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded as I pushed his hand away from me, "of course." Going to the mare, I calmed her before looking at him, "We should go."

He nodded and we swiftly packed up the camp before heading out again. We couldn't know how many walkers were attracted by the noise we had made. It put me on edge though. It was only one walker but it only took one. It took only one and being caught off guard and you'd be dead. Not the way I wanted to start my day.

"What happened to the horse?" I asked him after hours of silence.

He looked at me for a long moment before he replied, "I was caught in a hoard of walkers. They took it down, feeding on it as I escaped."

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I can't imagine what that was like."

"I met Glenn right after that." He smirked. "He's the one who got me out of the situation I was in."

Smiling, I met his eyes, "He's good like that."

"Then I met part of his group." He went on. "We went to his camp and there I found Lori and Carl. As well as Shane."

"Your best friend." I nodded.

He turned his head, meeting my eyes, "Yeah. At least I thought he was."

"I was told the basics on what happened." I admitted.

He smiled, "Yeah, I figured you'd have heard something."

"Everyone's story gets passed around eventually." I stated.

"Except yours." He said with furrowed brows. "Yours is still a mystery to just about everyone." I nodded at him. "Maggie knows. Michonne. Hershel. Daryl I'm sure knows."

"Glenn." I stated, getting a look from him. "I don't expect Maggie to keep secrets from him." He nodded. "But that's it. It's not something I talk about regularly."

"I know." He told me. "Is it that bad?"

"For me it is." I replied. "It's not a happy story, Rick. If you think yours is bad than mine is ten times worse."

He nodded, "I'm here though. If you want to talk about it."

"I talk to Michonne and Maggie." I nodded at him. He looked hurt by that. "But thank you."

"You're trying." He nodded.

We were quiet again, tossing food back and forth to each other as we continued down the road. Coming across a small town neither of us had been to before, we started to move from building to building, looking for anything useful. Finding a few more guns and several knives, as well as a box of ammo, we were feeling pretty good. And who wouldn't? We needed all the help we could get.

"Not bad." I smiled as we packed everything away. He smiled and nodded at me. "What?"

"You may have been right about coming out here." He replied.

Grinning, laughing lightly, I nodded at him, "I may not have been looking for anything but I'd say we made out okay so far."

He looked behind us at a large old house. "One more?"

"One more." I smiled.

A gate surrounded the property, realizing that it spread further back than it looked. Passing through the creaking gate, the walkway was a little intimidating. The large Victorian had clearly been abandoned a while ago, but sometimes that was where the most treasure was. Stepping into the foyer, it was massive and surprisingly impressive. There was a winding staircase and the whole bit. It was amazing. In its prime it would have been a sight to see.

"If the world hadn't fallen apart, I would so want to live here." I told him.

He nodded, "Can you imagine cleaning this place?"

"I'd hire someone." I smirked at him.

He chuckled, "Clearly you're rich in this fantasy world."

"Damn straight I am." I grinned at him. "Should we split up?" I asked next.

"No." He replied shaking his head. "Let's stick together."

Moving closer to him, we cleared the bottom floor before moving to the second. There were small creaking sounds but we both chalked it up to it being an old house. Clearing half the floor, I was starting to feel slightly discouraged. Hearing something, I held my knife out, moving toward the sound, Rick moving behind me. Pushing open a door, expecting a walker, I was met with bats flying in my face, making me jerk backward and right into Rick. He wrapped his arms around me, bending as they swooped around before finally moving down the hall.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said realizing I was gripping him tightly. Letting him go, I put my knife back, once again gripping my gun. "Sorry."

"It's fine." He said brushing my swooping bangs from my eyes.

Nodding, I moved forward, one room left at the end of the hall. Rick moved in front of me, momentarily reaching back, touching my arm before pushing the door open, swinging his gun from side to side in case of walkers.

"Anything?" I whispered from behind him. He didn't say anything. "Rick."

He relaxed, turning to me, "Look for yourself."

Moving past him, he flipped on a light switch to show a pile of goods stacked in the corner. Moving forward, I took in all the canned goods, practically going to my knees as I spotted a bag of cheese popcorn among the random bags, letting a laugh out.

"Holy shit." I said with awe.

Rick appeared at my side, "Yeah."

Looking at each other, I couldn't help but grin at him, putting my hand against his arm. He laughed lightly, yanking me into him. Only our happiness was cut short where there was a bang, making both of us look toward the door to our right. Rick took a tentative step toward it, me only a step behind him. There was another bang, making us both tense but we still moved forward. My grip on my gun was almost painful, staying close to him. He paused when there was a third bang and the cracking of wood. Looking back at me, I put my hand on his shoulder, shaking my head at him. He looked at the food, frowning before turning back to the door.

He reached his hand out but before he could grip the knob, the frame burst, walkers spilling out onto the floor. Falling backward, Rick did the same, shooting the walkers as they fell forward. Doing the same, I gripped the back of Rick's shirt, attempting to keep hold of him, still shooting the walkers. It seemed like they would never end. The floor jerked, a crack accompanying it. Rick looked at me and then the floor gave way. He gripped my arm as he fell through the hole, my shoulder jerking painfully as I held tight to him. Lying on my stomach, I gripped Rick with one hand, still shooting the walkers as best I could. They were falling through the hole, hearing them break apart as they hit the ground. One gripped Rick's leg as it fell through, making him jerk, his hand slipping down to my wrist. Swiftly shooting it, my stomach dropped as walkers started to make their way around the hole.

"Let me go." Rick told me.

"Are you crazy?!" I yelled at him.

"Linny!" He said making me meet his eyes. "Let me go."

Giving him a determined look, I kept shooting them, "No." He brought his gun up, shooting as he swung back and forth. As soon as they were all dead, I smiled down at him. "And you wanted me to let you go."

He chuckled, "Well, you didn't listen to me did you?"

"When do I ever listen to you?" I smirked.

Setting my gun aside, he put his away, gripping my other arm as I offered it to him. Attempting to pull him up, a walker staggered from the hole in the wall, falling forward. It latched onto Rick's back, yanking him from my grip. Screaming his name, he fell toward the debris. At the same time the floor underneath me gave way. Attempting to grip anything, I managed to hold tight to a piece of wood, slowing my fall before I swung, the board breaking free, sending me to the ground. Landing on my back, the air was forced from my lungs. I couldn't breathe. But in this moment it had nothing to do with the fall and everything to do with Rick being in the rubble filled with walkers.

"Rick!" I yelled rushing forward. Pulling my knife free, I stabbed a walker in the head as I scrambled up the pile. "Rick!" I yelled again as I started to shift the debris. There was a sound before I could see the white of Rick's shirt. "Rick!"

Reaching him, I pulled him up as he gripped my wrist tightly. When he was free, I practically threw him down the pile, dropping next to him and quickly started to check him. If he had been bitten than we needed to act immediately. I could save him. He would be okay.

Finding him unscathed, I threw my arms around his neck, "You scared the shit out of me. Never do that again."

He hugged me tightly, "I won't."

Leaning away, I met his eyes as he smiled at me. Sighing, I took his head in my hands, pressing my forehead against his. "Let's go." I finally told him, removing myself from him.

"And leave all that food?" He asked as he got to his feet.

"Let's just go, Rick." I told him pleadingly.

He smiled, briefly putting his hand against my face, "We're not leaving here empty handed."

Feeling anxious, I followed him as he walked back toward the stairs, "Rick."

"Linny." He smiled over his shoulder. "Are you telling me you don't want that cheese popcorn?"

"Of course I do." I replied. "But it's not worth our lives."

"We'll be fine."

Smirking at him, we spent the remainder of the day slowly transferring all the food downstairs. As soon as it was done, I looked at the pile. It was far too large for us to load onto both the horses.

"We clearly have a problem." I stated.

He nodded, shifting feet, "Yeah. Ideas?"

Going outside, I circled the back, finding a few walkers as I moved through the dying and overgrown garden. Coming across a shed, there was a small cart sitting next to it. It was meant for flowers and such but I figured we could finagle a way to make it work. Smiling, I pulled it to the front, calling to Rick. He came out and was immediately smiling at me, nodding his satisfaction.

Sitting around a small fire, night had fallen, the cart had been loaded, and now all we had to do was wait for morning before we headed home. With my back against my saddle, I wrote down everything that had happened. Just one more chapter on what it takes to survive in this new world. Maybe fifty years from now, after a few generations have been born into this fucked up world; someone will read these and learn. Maybe I'd even pass them down to my own children.

Children.

Scoffing at myself, I quickly finished and set it aside, slouching further down, staring up at the stars. Hearing Rick move, I frowned as he moved next to me, starting to settle down. Moving over, he slouched next to me, his arm pressing against mine. Looking at him, I relaxed my face, sighing. He didn't say anything. He simply looked up into the sky.

"What do you keep writing down?" He asked finally breaking the silence.

"I'm chronicling my life since all this started." I replied honestly.

He nodded, "Does it help?"

I looked at him, "Yeah, it does."

There was a long pause before he met my eyes, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving my life." He replied.

Smiling, I shook my head, "I really didn't do much. You would have been able to get yourself out of it."

"Yeah." He stated. "But I'm still glad you were there."

Sighing, I hooked my arm through his, resting my head against his shoulder, "I'm glad you didn't die."

He smiled, moving his arm around me, my head moving to his chest. It was awkward but the closeness was nice. Emotion started to fill me and I felt my wall coming down. He knew what I was feeling. He knew the pain. He knew.

"I met Ben and Hannah months after it started. I had been on my own with a dog I'd rescued from work." I started. "I tried not to get involved but Ben wouldn't leave me alone. He'd been alone and I was a fucking mess." I went on. "He took me in. He made me see that the world wasn't a gone as I thought it was."

"You loved him?" He asked.

"I did." I replied. "I loved him more than I ever thought I could in this world. But before that, I'd been killing just about everyone I'd come across. I had no hope for people. People were the bad guys, not the dead. But he showed me I was wrong."

Pausing, he gently rubbed my arm, "You can tell me."

Sitting up, I looked at him, keeping his eyes. "I know."

"Okay." He replied and looked up at the stars again.

It took a few long minutes before I started to talk again. He'd earned my trust back. He wasn't a bad guy. He'd just made a bad decision. Telling him my story, he was quiet, silence filling the space between us before he started to talk. He told me about his marriage. He told me about the accident and when he woke up. He told me his story.

"Thank you." I told him when he was done.

He met my eyes, "Thank you."

Slouching down, he stayed at my side, falling asleep quickly. I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep. Every noise the woods made, made every inch of me stand on end. Him sleeping was enough for me. I could sleep when we got home. We'd been successful and had only nearly died once. I preferred less eventful outings, but it had turned out okay.

He made a noise, making me look down at him. He sighed, his head turning toward me. Smiling, I couldn't help but take him in. His hair was getting a little long and his beard could use a trim but he was a handsome man. Nothing I would have gone for but now that we were thrown together in this world, it was nice to be around him. He was a good man. Maybe even a great one. He would do right by his people and we would survive.

Sighing, I put my hand against his arm, keeping my eyes moving back and forth, listening to the horses for any sign of danger. As the hours ticked by, nothing happened. I honestly wasn't expecting anything to happen, but it didn't matter, I wasn't going to be getting any sleep tonight. Something I was used to. I wished I could just shut down and sleep, but the last time I'd done that outside in the open like this was when the walkers came and nearly killed me on the porch. Walls helped. Without them I just couldn't be at ease enough to sleep.

"Did you sleep at all?" Rick asked as we tacked up the horses.

Smiling, I shook my head, "I felt better keeping watch."

"We were safe." He stated.

Grinning, I folded my arms on top of the mare's rear. "Tell that to the pile of walkers in the mansion."

He came around, sighing as he stepped in front of me. "Everything worked out, Caroline."

"Still felt better keeping watch." I told him again.

He nodded, "Okay."

"Okay." I smirked before gently pushing him away from me, mounting the horse.


	18. Finally Home

**Chapter Eighteen: Finally Home**

The ride back was tediously long as we pulled the makeshift cart behind us. It would be worth it, but I was more than ready to get home. Our saving grace was that the silence that had filled the space between us on our way out here was now filled with talking and laughter and even a few tears. The tears were from me, of course.

"It's your turn to sleep." Rick told me as we made camp for the night.

"Maybe." I smiled as I set the traps to warn us of walkers.

He stepped up to me, sighing with concern, "You need sleep, Caroline."

"I know." I nodded. "I just – I don't sleep well out in the open anymore."

"Anymore?"

Nodding again, I smiled up at him, "I used to sleep like a baby when I was out here all alone. It was just me and Mozzie. Only then I met Ben."

"What changed?" He asked.

Sighing, I started to put together a small fire, "I had a family again. I focused so hard on keeping them alive that sleep took a backseat. I needed to protect them and I'd do whatever I had to."

"It's not like that anymore." He told me as he brought over a can of baked beans.

"Isn't it?" I asked him. "There are still people who need to be protected. People who can't defend themselves as well as they should." I went on. "People that I've grown to care about."

He nodded, "We can look after ourselves."

"I know." I smiled. "I do know that, Rick. But it still doesn't change the fact that I want to watch over and protect people."

He smiled, "You found yourself."

"I did." I told him. "I went dark but with the help of Ben and Michonne and Daryl and Maggie and you," I added and grinned at him, "I found myself again. Who I'm supposed to be."

"Good." He nodded. "That's good."

"It is good." I replied.

Once the fire was going, we heated some of the beans, eating fruit while we waited. There were even a few boxes of granola bars that we had decided were our consolation prize for going through what we went through. Then as the sky started to darken, we were quiet as I started to journal for a while, writing all my thoughts down until I couldn't concentrate anymore. Fatigue was starting to set in and I caught Rick smiling at me more than once.

"Fine." I finally smiled at him. He raised a brow at me. "I'll sleep."

He chuckled lightly, "It's about time."

Settling down, I rested my head on my arm, looking at Rick across the fire. "Thank you, Rick."

"For what?" He asked.

"For not being the asshole I really wanted to think you were." I smirked at him.

He laughed moving across the fire and sitting next to me. "Go to sleep."

Curling into myself, I sighed and shut my eyes, falling asleep quickly.

Waking to the rattling of cans, I shot up, grabbing my knife from the sheath at my thigh. Rick was already on his feet, his knife in a walkers head. Another one was moving toward him, reaching its arms out. Darting forward, I stabbed it through its temple, letting it fall as I readied myself for the next one. Listening to the woods, it was quiet. Looking at Rick, I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. My eyes felt heavy and puffy.

"How long was I out?" I asked him.

"Not even an hour." He replied sadly.

Nodding, I went back to the sleeping bag, "That would explain the lingering exhaustion."

"Go back to sleep." He told me kindly.

"No, no, I'm good." I stated. "Maybe we should just keep going."

He smiled and stepped up to me, "Linny."

"Rick."

"You need to sleep." He stated. "If something does happen, I need you to be able to handle it."

Frowning, I crossed my arms, "I can handle anything. Even if I'm tired."

He smiled, "I know."

"So don't doubt me now."

He nodded, "Okay."

"Okay."

He chuckled before he sat down, patting the bag next to him. Sighing, I sat down, narrowing my eyes at him. He simply looked at me with a knowing expression. Smiling, I laid down with my back against him. I twitched as he put his hand on my thigh, resting his arm across the length of me. Taking a deep breath, I shut my eyes, falling asleep again with more ease than I thought I would.

When I woke up, Rick's arm was around me, his chest pressed against my back. For a moment I tensed, not sure how I felt about it. His body heat was nice. I'd gotten the opportunity to grow accustomed to it, and it was definitely something I would miss if I didn't have it. But I didn't feel anything romantic toward Rick and it made me feel awkward letting us stay this way.

Putting my hand over his, I attempted to gently move his arm from me. Though as soon as I touched him, he was already waking up, momentarily gripping me tighter before he swiftly removed his arm, sitting up and running his hand down his face. Doing the same, I ran my fingers through my hair, offering him a smile.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked.

"Amazingly. Thank you." I replied.

He nodded, "Ready to get moving again?"

"Yeah." I nodded and got to my feet.

Handing him some jerky for breakfast, we started to load everything up, getting the cart ready. Mounting, I waited for Rick to finish whatever it was that he was doing, finally mounting next to me. Smiling, we started out again, happy to be moving. I loved riding. I always had. There was something about the movement of a horse that I found comforting.

Going a different way than we'd come, we passed a field and to our great surprise, we came across a field of cows. There were several carcasses but all in all everyone was looking pretty healthy. Stopping the mare, Rick was forced to stop with me.

"Seriously?" He asked.

"Meat. Milk." I stated. "And…" I said meeting his eyes.

"And what?" He smirked.

"There is something I've always wanted to try." I grinned at him. He just frowned at me. "Come on."

Dismounting, I rushed to the fence, dipping between the barbed wire before walking toward the nearest cow. They'd been eating well and I had no doubt that they would taste amazing. Not only that but we'd be able to get some milk out of them. Reaching out for one, I had to step back as it kicked at me. They'd been on their own so long that they had become skittish. Moving to another, I was met with the same results. I approached nearly a half dozen before I found one that wasn't going to run away or kick at me.

"Linny!" Rick called after me.

"Come on!" I called back to him.

He shook his head, making his way toward me, "Are you kidding me right now?"

"Nope." I beamed at him. "I'm going to ride a cow."

"You grew up on a farm and you're telling me you've never ridden a cow?"

"My dad didn't like the idea and when my sister tried and nearly got trampled, we were officially forbade from trying it ever again."

"Sister?" He replied.

"I'm the middle of three." I stated.

"That explains a lot." He nodded.

"Meaning?" I frowned at him, stroking the cows head, feeling drool going across my arm.

"You take care of people. You mediate." He replied.

I nodded at him. "But what you don't know is that I also know how to have a shit ton of fun." I told him, grinning again. "Now let's ride a cow."

He laughed and nodded. Shrieking a little with excitement, I went to the side of the cow and quickly leapt up onto it before it could move. Though the second after I'd made it up, I was lying in the mud. Laughter burst from him like I'd never heard before.

"It's not easy." I smiled getting up. "Now you try."

We both rushed to the cows nearest us and launched ourselves onto their backs. Being launched off repeatedly, I was once again sitting on the ground, looking up as Rick strutted over on top of a cow. A cow that seemed to be perfectly happy with its situation.

"How the hell did you beat me?" I grinned up at him, getting to my feet again.

"I'm just awesome like that." He smirked down at me.

Looking at him, I just grinned, "I don't think so."

Smacking the cow's ass, it bucked, sending him to the ground. Laughing harder than I had in god knew when, I stumbled as I moved to run from him. Looking over my shoulder, I was met with mud in the face, making me shriek before I was hit again. Stumbling, in the next second he had my waist, spinning me repeatedly before I felt him trip, sending us both to the ground. Bursting with laughter, I was on top, bracing myself on either side of him. Still laughing, I tipped my head back before meeting his eyes. He looked at me for a long moment, his hands gripping my arms.

Beaming down at him, I raised a brow, "We are not leaving until we successfully get on a cow and race across this field."

His hands gripped my sides, making me scream as they lit up, finding myself now underneath him. "Then what the hell are you waiting for?"

He got off of me and started to sprint toward a cow. Yelling after him, I got up, doing the same. Failing the first time, I finally managed to get on and stay on a cow. Finding it much harder than I had anticipated, I managed to lead it to one side of the field. Rick was already there looking rather cocky. I didn't care though. He was having fun. That's all that mattered.

"Ready?" I grinned at him.

"The real question is, are you?" He grinned back.

I dipped my chin, "I was born ready."

In the next second, we kicked them and they lurched forward, racing across the field, we were nearly to the other end when Rick's cow bucked and sent him to the ground. Reaching the fence, I threw my hands in the air.

"I win!" I called to the sky, laughing as I looked at Rick. Resting myself against the cow, I hugged it. "Thank you." Sliding from its back, I stepped up to Rick, putting my hands on my hips as I looked down at him. "I am officially cow riding champion."

He laughed and reached his hand out to me. "Well earned."

Gripping his arm, I helped him to his feet, "Okay. I guess we've had enough fun for one day."

He smiled, nodding, "Grab a couple and hit the road?"

"Yup. But not these guys. They earned their freedom." I told him.

He laughed and gently shoved me as we made our way back to the horses. Grabbing rope, I made two makeshift halters before finding two of the friendliest cows I could, leading them to the gate and out onto the road. Attaching them to either side of the cart, talking to them all the while, we were finally on the road again.

"Thank you." Rick told me after a few minutes.

"For what?" I smiled at him.

"Having fun with me." He stated. "I can't remember the last time I've had that much fun."

"Me neither." I told him, taking a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's a good day."

Despite how dirty we had become, it really was a good day. The sun was out. The sky was clear. Rick and I had finally reconciled. The only thing that could make it better was to finally be back at the prison. The anxiousness I felt to get there made the sight of it all the more relieving. Seeing it in the distance sent a sense of home flowing over me. This trip had started rough but ended so well that I thought I was actually going to be able to be happy. This was a turning point.

Rick stopped his horse, sighing before he looked at me, "Almost home."

"Finally." I smiled at him.

"Then you can get back to avoiding me." He smirked.

Laughing, I shook my head, "I think I can officially stop doing that."

"Good." He nodded. "Because I didn't like it."

"You weren't supposed to like it." I smirked at him.

He nodded, "I'm still sorry. I'll probably forever be sorry for it."

Sighing, I shook my head at him, "Let it go, Rick. That's what I plan on doing. Dwelling on the past won't help us in the future."

"That's a good way to look at it." He nodded.

"It is. I'm going to do my best to put it behind us. But I can't deny that there may be moments when I can't."

"I accept that."

Smiling, I cocked my head at him, "I feel a little more put together. Thank you for that."

"Me, too. Thank you." He told me.

Smiling wider, I stroked the mare's neck, "Let's go home."

Moving forward, as soon as the trees gave way, people were rushing toward the gate. Grinning, I was completely anxious and excited to get past them and to see everyone. We came back with a shit ton of food and with the cows, I'd say we were a hundred and ten percent successful.

"It's about damn time." Daryl said as he closed the gate behind us.

Passing through the second, I dismounted and turned in time to embrace him, laughing as he hugged me tightly. "I know. But we made a pit stop that was very much needed. Not to mention well-deserved after everything we went through and found."

He nodded, "Tell me all about it."

"Over a drink?" I replied as I wrapped my arm around his waist.

"Hell yeah." He smiled.

Looking at Rick, he smirked, helping me lead the horses back to the barn. Daryl followed, listen as Rick and I talked back and forth, actually laughing, watching as Rick and I unloaded the animals before recruiting him and others to help with the cart. When it was done, we finally made our way to our cell block, feeling like we could finally rest.

"We stink." I stated.

"You more than me." He smirked. "You were on the ground more than I was."

Laughing, I put my hand on his arm, nodding. "I'm ready to get cleaned up."

"Me, too." He said and disappeared.

Momentarily leaning against the wall, I went over the trip in my head, wrapping my head around the fact that I didn't hate him anymore. Carol had been right. A weight had been lifted and it felt amazing.

Grabbing clothes, I went to the showers, finding him already there. "As an upgrade, we should really build some more private showers."

He chuckled, the water running down his chest, "I don't know." He replied as he looked me up and down.

"Stop it." I smirked and shoved him.

"You weren't shy when I first met you." He smirked back at me.

"I'm still not." I replied. "Doesn't mean I want everyone looking."

He laughed lightly, turning away from me. Appreciating his discretion, I showered for as long as I possibly could, Rick having left several minutes before I was done. But showering made me feel like a million bucks after being coated with all that mud and whatever else was in the mud. Having finally finished and pulled on clothes, I went to find Maggie, ending up in one of the towers that she was keeping watch in.

"Not having fun with everyone else?" I asked her.

She smiled, hugging me, "It's getting crowded."

"It is." I smiled.

"You came back with a lot." She stated. "How was it?"

"It was annoying, then hard, then scary, and then…it was pretty damn good." I smiled at her.

"Details." She grinned at me.

Laughing, I nodded, telling her everything. Down to the very last detail. She was one of few that I could bare my soul to and would never be judged and always loved. Not to mention she had excellent advice and she was my best friend. I adored her with all of me.

By the time I was done, we were down by the fire, enjoying dinner with everyone else. It really was getting crowded but it wasn't a bad thing. Several cell blocks had been cleared, reinforced, and made into homes for those we had brought in. They were good people. All of them. They deserved a better life and if we could offer that than we would.

Conversation had died down, making it quiet, when Maggie nudged me, "I'm glad you two are doing better."

"Me, too." I replied. "It definitely makes me feel less bogged down. I finally feel lighter. I'm free." I told her, smiling fondly.

"Hey." Daryl said coming up to us with a bottle in hand, showing it to me.

"It is time for that drink?" I grinned at him.

"Get your ass up and let's go." He told me with that gruff voice of his.

Smiling at Maggie, I stood, "I'll see you later."

Stepping away from her, an arm moved around my waist, lips against my ear, "Don't have too much fun."

Laughing, I shoved Glenn away from me, watching him take his place at Maggie's side. Looking at Daryl, he nudged me as I fell in step with him. Walking to where we could be alone, not wanting to share, he made us our own little fire, settling down next to it.

"So what did you two do out there?" He asked.

"Looted. Found some goods. Played with cows." I smirked at him.

He nodded, taking a drink, "So are you two like…together now?"

"What?!" I exclaimed, taking the bottle from him. "No. Not in the slightest." I added with furrowed brows, taking a drink.

He nodded. "Good."

"Did you think I slept with him out there? Is that what you're getting at?" I asked. He didn't say anything. "Wow. I'm glad you think so highly of me."

"I didn't mean it like that." He replied as we passed the bottle back and forth. "You two were enemies when you left and best friends when you got back."

"Well, what about you and Carol?" I shot at him. "Have you two ever slept together?" He shot me a look back at me. "Same thing, buddy. Don't jump to conclusions."

"Sorry." He told me.

"It's fine." I told him. "And we're not best friends. Rick and I are in a better place. That's where it ends. It's not like I'm going to jump into anything with him."

"He likes you."

"He can like me all he wants. Doesn't mean I'm going to like him back."

He offered me a small smile, "Good."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You don't – you don't feel that way about me do you?"

"Nah." He smiled. "Doesn't mean I want you to be with anyone else either."

Laughing, I shook my head at him, "So possessive."

"I've lost enough people in my life. I just don't want to feel like I've lost you."

"Never, Daryl." I told him with seriousness. "Never."

"Alright." He said taking a swig before handing it over.

Taking a long drink, I smiled at him, "So, tell me what I've missed."

He shook his head, "Nothing. Same old, same old."

"Really?" I asked with a raised brow. "Nothing happened?"

"Nah, Linny." He replied. "I want to hear about your trip."

Smiling, I nodded at him, "We fought with each other. We fought some walkers. I finally told him my story. We rode some cows and now we're home."

He smirked, "You gotta do better than that."

Laughing, I nodded and told him a much more detailed version. I didn't know why he wanted to know so badly but he did. I wasn't about to deny him. Though, for wanting to know so bad he didn't seem to like the majority of it.

"You almost look jealous." I stated as I downed more of the liquor.

"Nah." He said and waved my comment off.

"Good." I stated.

"It's nice though." I told him softly, getting him to look at me. "Not hating him anymore. It definitely makes me feel freer."

He nodded, "I know."

"But you're my person, Daryl." I added. "You and Maggie."

He smiled and nodded at me, "Yeah. Same."

I smiled and shook my head, "A man of few words."

Come morning, I woke up pressed against Daryl's chest. His arm was around me, the sound of his steady breathing against my ear. His heart underneath it. Feeling warm, I sighed, nestling closer to him, only to fly out of my skin as my leg was hit. Daryl's arm was across me a second later, his knife out as we looked up at whatever was attacking us.

"Jesus." I said as I looked up at Hershel.

"Good morning, sunshine." He smiled.

"Hey." I said and rubbed Daryl's back, running my fingers through my hair before I got to my feet. "Nothing happened." I told him.

He chuckled lightly, "I wasn't assuming anything, Caroline."

"That's what makes you the best dad ever." I grinned and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

"Come on." He said. "Fill me in on what happened."

"Maggie didn't tell you or anything?" I frowned as we headed back toward the main part of the prison.

"I want to hear it from you."

"Why?" I asked. He shot me a look. "Sorry."

"Rick seems to have changed his whole mood around." He stated.

"We had a good trip." I told him.

Daryl appeared at my side, pressing a kiss into my hair before he moved past us, putting plenty of distance between us and him.

"What's going on with you two?"

"Which two?"

"Daryl."

"Nothing and you know it." I told him. "He's one of my best friends."

"Linny!" Michonne said coming forward.

Wrapping my arms around her, I made a soft noise, hugging her tightly. "It's good to see you."

"You, too." She told me.

Smiling, I tilted my head at her, "You're not going to make me retell my story a third time are you?" She laughed, only then I did a double-take as Patrick walked by us. "Hey." I said immediately gripping his arm. There were cuts, bruises, and scrapes covering much of his visible skin. His glasses were askew and dirty. "What the hell happened?"

"Nothing." He told me anxiously.

"Bullshit." I frowned. "Where is she?" He averted his eyes. "Patrick." I said exasperatingly as I dragged my fingers through his hair. "Why do you keep doing this?"

He just smirked at me, "She's amazing."

Sighing, I nodded, gently pushing him away from me. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Michonne. Shaking my head, I went from fine to pissed off in a matter of seconds, starting to walk toward the one place I knew she would be.

"Linny." Michonne said following me.

"I thought Maggie was going to keep an eye on her." I shot at her.

"She did." She replied. "But you know how she is."

Sighing, I nodded again, "I do know. I wish I didn't, but I do."

She laughed lightly, nudging me, "You know that's not true."

"Why is it that every time one of us brings someone in it's as if they are immediately our responsibility?" I frowned at her. "Can't they just be a part of the group? Why do I feel like I have to babysit every person I bring in?"

"Because that's who you are. You're a good person." She replied.

My anger started to ebb, only to intensify as Daryl moved toward us, gripping the arm of the most infamous teenager in the prison. "What the hell, Ray?" I shot at her.

"What?" She frowned, not meeting my eyes.

"I'm gone for a few days and you just can't keep your shit together?" I went on. She just shrugged at me. "No." I said gripping her arm and dragged her toward the gates.

All eyes were on me as I moved toward the gardens and animals. Shoving her toward the toolshed, glaring at her all the while, I watched as she gathered what she would need. She knew what we were here for. That was probably part of the problem. She knew what her punishment was and it didn't matter to her anymore. But I had to do something. She was only sixteen and the ending of the world had made her angry and bitter and just an unpleasant person to be around. I wanted to help her. I wanted her to get better and be an asset to the community. But all she wanted to do was shoot a gun and run off in the woods. She wanted to be an adult and she was the furthest from it. Mika was more of an adult than she was.

"Why do you keep making me do this?" I asked her with an edge of sadness.

"You clearly like it." She replied under her breath.

"Knock it off." I told her exasperatingly.

She was on the ground, pulling weeds, but got to her feet and frowned at me, "You're not my mom, Caroline."

Frowning back, I stepped toward her, "You're right, Ray. I am not your mom. Your mom was the woman I told that I would look out for her little girl. The woman who you lead into a walker hoard and got killed." She deflated and started to weed again. "Listen, I get that you're angry. I'm angry, too. You aren't the only one who lost someone out there. You aren't the only one who resents the way the world is."

"Yeah. Whatever." She replied.

I could feel my anger and frustration in my throat. I needed to step away. "I need to check on a couple things. Keep weeding. If I come back and you aren't here or if the job isn't getting done, there will be hell to pay."

"Gonna go get someone else blown up?" She retorted.

I couldn't take it anymore. Turning, I quickly walked away, going back inside and to my cell. Pacing it, shaking out my hands as I cracked my neck, I rolled my shoulders to try and calm myself down.

"You okay?" Rick asked, making me jump.

Frowning, I shook my head, "I am fed up, Rick. I cannot be responsible for her anymore. She is vicious and pushes every one of my buttons. I haven't had one happy moment with that girl and she is driving me crazy."

"There have been a few happy moments." He smirked at me.

Sighing, I dropped onto my bed. He came and sat next to me, his leg pressing against mine. "It's not getting any better, Rick. She's not getting any better."

"It's only been a month."

"Six weeks." I told him. "Six. Weeks. Most people come around in a matter of days. She's just…not."

"She's got you. She'll be okay." He said gently rubbing my back.

Looking at him, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "I'm not sure that's enough anymore."

He put his hand against my hair, pulling me to him as he pressed a kiss against my forehead. "It is."

Gripping his thigh, I nodded at him, "Maybe. Either way, today she's getting to me. Today her words hurt."

"Linny." Mika said rushing into view. "They need you in the field."

Giving Rick a knowing look, I stood and was running. Going back outside, there were several people in the field. Ray was screaming, attempting to swing the garden rake at Daryl. Maggie and Michonne were there as well, Hershel making his way. Passing him, Carl was close to me and I could see red on the side of his face.

"Carl!" I yelled, rushing around him, taking his head in my hands. "What happened?"

"I told her no." He replied.

Anger was free flowing now as I looked back at Ray. Rushing forward, pushing through the others, I gripped the rake as she swung it toward me. Her eyes met mine and for a moment I thought she was almost afraid and regretful of her actions. Only then she screamed and tore it from my grip, swinging it again. Leaping back, one of the spikes caught my shirt, ripping it open.

"Linny!" Daryl yelled, darting toward me only to drop as Ray swung it yet again.

"What is the matter with you?!" I yelled at her. "You're hurting people, Ray!"

She stopped, frowning at me, "What makes you think I care?"

"Because you're better than this." I told her. "You're not a bad person, Ray."

She just frowned harder at me, "Tell that to my mother."

She turned to walk away but I gripped her shoulder, "Don't walk away from me."

"Just leave me alone!" She yelled and spun again.

A gasp escaped me as I gripped the handle of the rake as it collided with my abdomen, the spikes imbedding in my skin. Then there was a flurry of action as I fell to my knees, almost immediately feeling hands against me. Ray was screaming but I couldn't concentrate on her as both panic and pain pulsed through me.

There were voices coming from all sides, only then my head was taken and I finally focused on the person in front of me. "Caroline."

"Told you so." I smirked at Rick.

"Linny?" Carl said from next to me.

Meeting his eyes, I smiled, putting my hand against his face, "I'm fine."

"Caroline." Hershel said and Rick moved from in front of me.

"It's not so bad." I told him, gripping his shoulder. "I think it just surprised me more than anything."

He gave me a look, "You have four spikes sticking in your skin."

I laughed, only to have pain move through me, "Ow."

"Linny." Rick said taking my hand.

Squeezing it, I nodded as he helped me to my feet. "It's not so bad."

"Let's get her back to the cell block. I can't treat her out here."

"It's superficial." I told him.

He nodded, "I'll decide that when we get back inside."

Rolling my eyes, I gripped the handle and yanked the rake from my body. I groaned but smiled as I handed the rake to Hershel. "I wish we had tetanus shots." Both of them were looking at me with both shock and concern. "Okay, I need to flush and disinfect." I said before looking at Rick. "Help me?"

He nodded and followed me, "That was stupid."

"Did Daryl take her to the holding cells?" I asked.

He nodded, "Where she belongs."

Keeping my hand over the puncture wounds, my blood was annoyingly warm and they were bleeding more than I thought they would.

Hershel caught up to us, frowning at me, "I wish you would have let me do that."

"They are superficial."

"And they tend to bleed more."

"Yeah." I said looking down at them, seeing the red on my hand. Rick's arm found my waist and he pulled me against him. "I'm not going to fall over." His grip tightened. "Rick." I said making him look at me. "I'm fine."

"Linny." Daryl said walking toward us.

"Is she okay?" I asked stepping away and swiftly moved to him.

He nodded, taking my face in his hands, "Are you?"

"Superficial." I smiled at him.

"Can't take you down that easily." He smirked.

"Nope." I grinned.

He wrapped his arm around my neck, pulling me to him, "Come on. Let's get you fixed up."

Wrapping my arm around his waist, I leaned into him, "Okay."

Sitting on my bed, I leaned back; taking a swig of liquor as Daryl meticulously flushed and put antibiotic ointment into each of the four puncture wounds. Only groaning a few times, I managed to take it without becoming a difficult patient. I only cried out when he started to wrap them, pressing against them to make sure it was tight enough.

"Phew." I smiled when he was done. "Help me up." Gripping his arms, I stood without bending my stomach, already annoyed. "Thank you." I said kissing his cheek. "Hey." I said as I practically ran into Hershel.

"Here." He said handing me pills and a bottle of water.

"Thank you." I smiled, kissing his cheek before taking the meds.

He nodded, "Let me know if you have any symptoms that should be concerning."

Smiling, I nodded, "Okay. Thank you, Hershel."

Moving past him, my hand was still against my abdomen as I strutted toward the holding cells. Daryl was right behind me as we reached them. Gently pulling on his hand, he looked at me, nodding before he hung back, letting me approach her cell alone. Opening the door, I crossed my arms as I leaned against the doorframe. She looked up at me, her cheeks wet with tears and her eyes were red.

"So, thoughts on today's events?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry." She told me and started to cry again.

All of me wanted to rush in and comfort her, but I stayed back, knowing that I couldn't do that. Not yet.

"I am so sorry, Linny." She said and met my eyes. "I don't know what to do."

I shook my head at her, "You don't have to know what to do. That's kind of what I'm here for. I will help you if you'd just let me, Ray. I want to see you through this but you aren't doing yourself any favors. You're only making it ten times harder. We're not your enemy here. We're trying to be your family but you won't let us."

"I killed my family." She said sadly, growing distant. "I don't want to get close to someone else only to lose them again." Sighing, I stepped forward, carefully sitting down next to her. "I'm so sorry, Linny." She told me again. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." I told her, leaning against the wall. "I know that deep down you're actually a decent human being." I added, smirking at her.

She laughed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Leaning against the wall next to me, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I know I'm screwed up." She told me. "I know it. I get it. I'd like to say that I can change, but…I'm just not sure I can."

"You can, Ray." I told her. "You just need to try."

She nodded, "Okay."

Then I was frowning at her, "And stop trying to hurt people. Whether you realize it or not your words hurt. They hurt people. Now it's grown from not only verbal but to physical. You hurt Patrick. You hurt Carl. You hurt me."

"I know." She nodded.

"I get wanting to hurt me. I'm nothing but a pain in your ass that won't let you get away with anything. But everyone else does not deserve your wrath. And I can tell you right now that if you ever lay a hand on Carl again I will kill you myself." I added, talking fast. "Do I make myself clear?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"Good!" I yelled, rolling my shoulders before taking a deep breath. "God, Ray. You frustrate the living hell out of me. Your words hurt and you push me away at every turn. I get not wanting to lose anyone else. I've been exactly where you are. I've been there, Ray, and I know what it feels like."

"How did you get over it?" She asked.

"By letting people in." I replied softly. "I let people in, Ray, and that's how I got past it. That's how I managed to move on and get better and grow stronger. People are what matter. People are how we survive this apocalyptic world. You just need to realize that and to try. Even if it's just a little at first. Do that and things will get better. Can you do that?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I can."

"Thank you." I told her, taking a deep breath again. "I would very much appreciate it."

"I'll do better." She repeated.

Patting her leg, I awkwardly got off of the bed, moving toward the door before I turned back to her. "You're staying in here until I say otherwise."

"Linny." She frowned as she stood. "Please."

"No." I told her, holding up my hand. "You need to think about your actions and make a new plan on how you're going to be a part of this group."

"Care." She said sadly.

Smiling, I shook my head, "Sorry, kid, but you're stuck here."

"Can I have something to keep me busy?" She asked.

"Nope." I told her. "Three days with nothing except food, water, and your own thoughts to occupy your time."

"Please?" She said pleadingly.

Frowning, I crossed my arms, feeling the wounds twinge, "How are you going to learn your lesson if I simply let you have what you want? How is giving you amenities going make you see that you can't keeping going on the way you've been going? How am I supposed to prepare you for this world when you refuse to let me?" I paused, taking in her defeated expression. "So, no, Ray. You do not get anything unless you can prove to me that you've earned it. I've been lax considering how you came to be here but I'm done. I'm done trying to be nice and kind and understanding. We both know I haven't been very nice or kind when it comes to you. But my god I've tried to be understanding and to show you the way. I'm done. I'm over it. Now, you can get the light side or the dark side of me. I can tell you that the dark is darker than you've ever seen."

She smirked at me, a tear sliding down her cheek, "Star Wars?"

"There is nothing wrong with Star Wars." I pointed at her.

She nodded, "I know."

"Good." I smiled. "Now get some sleep. I need to find some pain meds."

"I really am sorry, Linny."

"I know." I told her. "But whenever you decide to get all fired up, I'm going to lift my shirt and show you what you did. Rein it in, Ray. Rein it in or I'll do it for you. And that will be considerably less fun."

She laughed lightly, "Okay."

Stepping toward her again, I pressed a kiss against her forehead, "Rest."

She nodded. Smiling, I ran my hand down her hair before I left, closing her in. Taking a deep breath, I walked away from the door, looking up at Daryl. He smiled, nodding as he wrapped his arm around me.

"It's been a busy day and it ain't even noon yet."

"And I'm exhausted." I said resting my head against his chest. He laughed, pulling me tighter against him. "She's gonna be okay."

"I know." He said rubbing my arm.

Going back to my cell, I laid down, grabbing some jerky. I was alone for only a few minutes when I heard steps. Shutting my eyes I attempted to ignore them, feeling the bed shift as they rolled over me. Opening my eyes, I met those of Maggie, smiling as she smiled back at me. Grinning, I shook my head, taking another bite of jerky.

"Our lives are weird." I told her.

She laughed, "Yeah. They really are."

"She didn't act up while I was gone?" I asked her.

"Nope." She replied. "She always saves her outbursts for you."

Sighing, I shook my head, "Who knew because of one act of kindness I'd have to keep track of the most unruly sixteen year old in existence?"

"That's family for you." She replied, smiling at me. "Welcome home."


	19. Seeing Things Differently

**Chapter Nineteen: Seeing Things Differently**

The sun was barely up and the world was quiet. It was always quiet. If there was sound then something was happening. Thinking too much, I wasn't paying attention to my surrounding, nearly having a heart attack as the mare reared. Getting her under control, I looked at the fence, a walker gnawing on the metal. Sighing, I pulled my knife from the sheath at my thigh, stabbing it before slipping it back in place.

Making one more loop around the perimeter, I was making my way back when the mare got excitable, lifting her legs high and bobbed her head. For a second I thought that she was just anxious, only then she jerked forward before spinning. Smiling, I rubbed her neck, relaxing the reigns as I gripped her sides. Giving her a low whistle, in the next second we were flying across the fields. She raced as fast as she could, darting this way and that, letting out all the energy she had built up inside of her.

Turning her at the end of the field, I faced her so we had the longest stretch in front of us. Kicking her sides, she reared momentarily before she sprinted forward. The wind rushed past me, making sound mute in my ears and I was blissfully happy. Opening up my arms, I tilted my head back, taking it all in.

When she stopped, she was so much more relaxed, nickering softly as she shook her head. Smiling, I laid forward, wrapping my arms around her neck, telling her how good she was. Dismounting, I didn't have to hold the reigns to have her follow me. I'd spent every morning taking care of them and even more time just spending time with them. I loved the animals. If there was ever a break in the day, I was more than likely spending it at the barns.

Taking off all the tack, I put her back in the pasture, stroking the faces of the others as they came to greet me. Scratching chins and necks, I couldn't have been happier. This place truly did feel like home. Even the walkers had become a normal part of life, just something that we had to deal with every day.

"Morning, Caroline."

Looking, I smiled, stepping toward the fence. "Good morning, Rick."

Folding my arms on top of the fence in front of him, he put his hands on either side of me, both of us just looking at each other. Not realizing the girly smitten smile on my face, when I did I couldn't help but laugh, feeling my cheeks flush as I averted my eyes. He did the same and I could see a flush in his cheeks as well. Things had been so much better between us but now it felt like something else was forming and growing faster than I'd thought possible.

Laughing again, I met his eyes, "So."

"So." He repeated.

"Breakfast?" I asked. He nodded, only then his hand was against my hair, pulling a piece of hay from it. "Thank you."

"Maybe later we could go for a ride. Check the snares and such." He offered.

"I'd like that." I beamed at him.

"Do you need help with your bandages?" He asked as he pointed at my stomach.

Lifting my shirt, there was still one puncture that didn't want to close properly. Sighing as I took in the blood that was starting to come through, I couldn't help the tingle as Rick ran his thumb across it. There was a small spike of pain and I gripped his wrist, making a small noise. He shifted, taking my hand in his as he put his other against the side of my head, making me meet his eyes.

"I'm okay." I smiled at him.

"I know." He smiled back. Nodding at him, he pulled me into a hug. Sighing, I melted against him, taking in his comfort. Letting me go, he put his hands over mine as I gripped the fence. "She still in a cell?"

I nodded, "I'm going to go get her out before dinner."

"She doing okay?"

"She's still angry." I replied. "And guilt ridden. But I think that this might be a turning point for her. She's seeing and understanding that her behavior is hurting people. I think she's gonna come around."

"Good." He nodded. "That's really good."

"It is." I smiled. "I have hope for our relationship." I added and laughed.

He nodded again, "Yeah. But if she does anything like that again you know I'm gonna have to step in."

"And do what?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He replied, his eyes moving to my stomach. "But she doesn't get to hurt people without consequence."

"She's suffering the consequences, Rick." I told him softly. "I'll take care of her. Don't worry."

He smiled, "I know you will. Worry is just a natural part of it."

Smiling, I nodded, climbing the fence and dropped next to him, "I'm starving."

"Let's fix that." He replied, his hand brushing mine as we walked back up to our home. "First. Bandages." He said with a raised brow.

Putting my arm around him, he did the same, letting me go when we started to come across more people. Going to my cell, I sat down while Rick grabbed the gauze, bandages, antiseptic, and ointment.

"We're running low." He told me.

"Maybe we'll get lucky soon." I replied.

"Lean back." He told me.

Doing as I was told, he took the current bandaging off, being gentle as he pulled the gauze from the wounds. He had a very concerned focused look on his face that made me smile.

"Daryl wraps you too tight." He stated.

"He has this idea in his head that with enough pressure they'll just magically close." I replied and laughed.

"And restrict air from getting in and actually helping them."

"You do it whatever way you want." I grinned at him.

He smiled up at me, shaking his head. "I will."

His touch was warm, making my stomach flutter. He was gentle as he cleaned the wounds, put the ointment on, the gauze and then wrapped me up. I had to admit that it did feel a lot better when Rick helped. It was secure but not suffocating. I hadn't realized how tight Daryl made it until it was pointed out. Otherwise I never would have thought it was him.

"Thank you." I told him as he helped me up.

"You're welcome." He replied with his hands still on my hips.

Smiling, I took his hand, gently playing with his fingers before letting my hand fall away. Briefly fawning over Judith, talking to Beth, we went back outside to get some breakfast. I was starving and now that we had the means, I wasn't afraid or sorry to eat three meals a day. Maybe even a snack or two.

Finding Daryl already cooking, I smiled and went up to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind, pressing myself against his back. He chuckled and put his arm across mine, not saying a word. I think that was one of the things I liked most about him. He only said what he felt he had to say, otherwise he was more than happy with silence. Pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades, I moved to his side, starting to crack eggs as he fried bacon. Between the two of us, everyone who was up was getting fed.

"Morning." Carol said coming out to the grilling area.

"Morning." I smiled back. "Sleep well?"

She nodded, "You?"

"Getting better all the time." I replied. Daryl grunted and pressed a kiss into my hair. "I'm gonna eat."

Giving the utensils to Carol, I winked at Daryl, getting another grunt before he handed me a plate of food. Laughing, I pressed a kiss against his chest before grabbing another plate and went to where Rick was sitting with Maggie and Glenn. Pressing a kiss against both their heads, I set a plate in front of Rick as I sat down next to him, smiling. He smiled back and then he ran his hand along my thigh, suddenly seeming awkward about it as soon as it happened. Momentarily rubbing his back, I tried to focus more on eating then the feeling his touch had left against my skin. Looking up at Maggie, she was looking at me with a both curious and excited expression. Grinning, I just shook my head at her.

"Are we going on that run today?" Glenn asked me.

I had forgotten about it. Rick tried not to be obvious as he looked at me. "Um." I said trying to decide what to do.

"Babe, I'd really like it if you stayed here." Maggie told him. "Rick can go with her."

"Rick hasn't been big on making runs lately." He replied.

"We were talking about going for a ride today, just scout a little and check the snares." I told him. "Maybe we'll head the direction we talked about just to see."

"Okay." He nodded. "Sounds like a plan." He didn't seem phased by it. "We should discuss a few things before you go." He told Rick.

"I'm not in charge anymore, Glenn." He replied.

"I know." Glenn stated. "I'm on the council. I still just want to run a few things past you."

Rick looked at me and I smiled reassuringly. He looked at Glenn, "Yeah, okay."

As soon as they were done eating, the men walked away and Maggie was leaning toward me so closely I thought she just might kiss me.

"What?" I asked her.

"What?" She grinned. "You and Rick?"

"Nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen any time soon." I replied with a smile.

She just grinned at me, "But something is there."

Watching as Rick walked away, I admitted it, "Yeah, something is there." She just beamed at me. "Stop." I told her, feeling a blush in my cheeks. "And don't say anything."

"I won't." She smiled.

"What aren't we saying?" Sasha asked as sat down.

"Secrets?" Michonne smiled as she sat next to me.

Feeling ganged up on, I raised my brow at Maggie. "Nothing. No secrets."

"Liar." Michonne smiled.

Looking at her, I looked over my shoulder where Rick and Glenn were talking. Meeting her eyes again I raised a brow. She just looked at me for a moment before she smiled and nodded, "Good for you."

"Thank you." I replied.

"Now what am I missing?" Sasha asked with annoyance. She looked at Rick and then the rest of us. "Oh. Oh! Really?" She said leaning toward me.

I smiled at her, "Say anything more and I'm going to stab you with my fork." She laughed and nodded, handing me a piece of her bacon as a peace offering.

Helping clean up, checking up on Ray without letting her know I was there, I made my way back outside to see Hershel walking the fields. He'd been talking about farming and producing and hopefully growing and raising enough food so we wouldn't have to make runs anymore. If we worked together we could accomplish anything. I couldn't have been more for it. We needed this. We needed to survive and flourish. Maggie wanted a baby. If we could make this work then it would be the perfect home for her to create a family. Judith would always be safe. If we worked together we could do anything and anything and everything could finally be possible. No more running or hiding or killing. The walkers would be a part of our lives forever, but they were manageable. We were smarter than them. We could take them out one by one until they were gone. This place was home and we would defend it with our lives. A sense of the life we all used to have. We could have that again. I had to believe that.

"Ready?" Rick said as he appeared at my side.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "Yes, I am."

His arm momentarily found my waist, his hand against my hip before he let me go. Walking to the barn, I took care of the saddles while he put on the bridles. He was better at that than he was saddling. Something we both knew. When they were ready, we mounted and moved toward the gate. Sasha let us out, laughing as she winked at me. Nothing was happening. It was just a ride between two friends. We had purpose. We were going to walk the snares and maybe just take a little bit longer to just relax, but it wasn't like we were on a date.

"I'd hoped to take you on a better date than this." He told me with a sweet yet anxious smile.

My head jerked to him so fast my neck pained in protest. "Date?" I asked. "I literally just told myself that this was not what it was."

He met my eyes, "I guess you didn't catch on to that."

Laughing, I grinned at him, "I can't say I've been on a date in a long ass fucking time. I don't recognize what they look like anymore."

He grinned at me, "Not usually this."

"Well, we had to get Glenn to back off first."

"And settle for this."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked him.

"I was going to have Carol make us up a basket, hide it in the woods, invite you on a run and then surprise you with it." He replied.

For a moment I couldn't speak. That would have been the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. "Next time." I finally told him.

"It wouldn't be a surprise then." He smiled. "I'll have to wait till you're not expecting it anymore."

Laughing, I nodded, "I think it would be worth the wait."

"Yeah?" He smirked.

"Yeah." I smiled. "And if I'm being honest, I'm a little surprised that you'd do something like that."

"Why?" He asked, frowning now.

I shrugged, "You're just – more work than play. I just assumed that you don't do things like that."

"Can't say I do them often."

"So why me?"

He smiled, "You stopped hating me."

"So that automatically means we should date?" I asked next.

"No." He replied quickly, getting a brow raise from me. "I mean, I didn't think I wanted to until you stopped hating me. Not hating me left room for something else. Something…more."

"You never hated me." I stated.

"No, I've never hated you." He replied. "But I took in your hate and hated that you hated me. I can understand why, Linny. And I'll forever be sorry for what I did. But you smiling at me instead of glaring is…"

"Is?"

He laughed, "Is something I honestly didn't think I'd live to see. So call me crazy for wanting to do something nice for you."

"But a date?"

"Fine." He replied now sounding annoyed. "It's not a date. No dating."

Laughing lightly, I sighed and shook my head at him, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to diminish what you're trying to do. I'm just – I'm not sure – you know – that I'm there yet."

"You don't have to be." He told me softly. "I can't say I'm there yet either. It's just – it's nice – to feel something."

Smiling widely at him, I nodded, "It's very nice."

There were a few moments of awkward and nice silence before he broke it, "Where were you and Glenn gonna go?"

"There was a small residential area not far from here."

"We've been there."

"I know." I nodded. "But Glenn and I had a theory about rechecking it since it's been a while. Just because it was cleared before doesn't mean someone hasn't come in and may have already left or been killed."

He nodded, "I guess it can't hurt."

"Nope." I smiled.

Talking as we rode, we walked the usual route in the woods, gathering and resetting anything that was in the snares. Rick walked me through how to reset them, even though I was more than capable of setting them on my own. I'd been taught how at the beginning of all this. But if it made him feel like he was helping than I'd let him do it. And I couldn't deny that I did learn a few things, making me actually pay attention to him other than watching him speak. Then we were moving again, following the road to the small residential area that I'd mentioned.

Leaving the horses outside, creating a perimeter to keep them safe, Rick and I moved from house to house, finding little to nothing. My theory had been thwarted pretty quickly. It was the fifth or sixth house that we were searching before I finally found something. Behind a toilet there was a stash of ibuprofen and antibiotic ointment. Smiling, I put it all in my bag before I joined Rick in the kitchen.

Hopping onto the counter, I watched him, "Find anything?" He tossed me a peach. "Oh my god." I said and bit into it. "Mm." Rick took it from me, taking a bite before handing it back. "I love peaches."

He just smiled as he stepped in front of me, putting his hands on either side of me, "I know." Grinning, my stomach fluttered and I put my hand against his face. "Caroline." He said looking anxious.

"Rick." I smiled.

His hand found my thigh, only in the next second there was a bang on the window behind me, making me jump. Rick had me around my waist, yanking me off the counter as we looked at the walker that was outside the window. Looking at each other, we sighed, putting the bit of food in my bag as well before we left the opposite end of the house. Going outside, we made sure the coast was clear before moving back around front. We were nearly there when I heard the mare scream. Coming round the corner, several walkers were circling her. They had swarmed, flattening the line we had put around them, letting more of them approach her. She reared, attempting to kick or shove them away from her, but their boney fingers were gripping her.

Without hesitating, I rushed forward, hearing Rick call out to me. Pointing to the stallion, he went to him, getting him away from the walkers. Stabbing the walkers, thinking she was going to be okay, I watched one dig in to her neck, blood spilling around its mouth. She reared, making the walker fall forward. Her hooves came down on top of it, hearing the skull pop. Another started to bite into her flank; another was latched onto her back leg. Stabbing them as quickly as I could, I felt a hand grip mine, looking up to see a walker staring at as me it bit into her shoulder. Stabbing it, screaming, they were all dead, but they done their worst to the mare. I couldn't breathe as I watched her stagger before going to her knees, falling to the side.

"It's okay." I told her, rushing around her, stroking her face.

"Linny!" Rick said and then he was stabbing a walker that was behind me. Then his hand was against my back. "Linny."

"Damn it." I said with tears in my eyes. "It's okay. You're a good girl." I told the horse.

She let out a low nicker and then a soft groan of pain. Rick put his hand over mine against the horse's neck. Looking at him, he brushed my bangs from my forehead, pressing a kiss against my forehead. His expression was just as sad as mine was. Putting my forehead against his, I took a deep breath. Pulling my gun out, I put it against her temple.

"You should use your knife." He told me.

"No." I replied. "The sound will draw more of them. She'll give us a head start."

He nodded, "I'm sorry, Linny. I know you're very fond of her."

Laughing lightly, I met his eyes, "I love this horse. It's okay to love an animal."

He smiled, brushing his thumb against my cheek, "Yeah."

"Hold him." I said nodding toward the stallion. He stood and went to him, taking him away from us. Taking a deep breath, I sighed, leaning down so I could press a kiss against her cheek. "I'm sorry."

Putting my gun to her temple, I pulled the trigger. Sighing, stroking her neck, I let a few soft cries leave me. Then I took a deep breath before I nodded and stood, stepping toward Rick. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as he gently rubbed my back. It was comforting.

"Thank you." I told him, letting him go.

He sighed, putting his hand against my cheek. "Just one more loss we have to face."

Smiling, I gently gripped his shirt, staring up at him. A growl interrupted us, ruining the moment and made us quickly mount the stallion and move away, heading back home. Holding tight to Rick's waist, he pulled out another peach and offered it to me. Taking a bite, I offered him a bite as well, sharing it until I tossed the pit into the woods.

"I always wonder why we don't come across more animals." I told him.

"I think we've seen plenty." He smirked at me.

"I mean more dogs and cats."

"We don't need any more animals." He replied.

I gripped his side, making him jerk, "You sound like my mother."

"We'd probably get along then."

Laughing, I nodded, "Yeah. Too bad I have no idea where she is."

"Minnesota, right?"

"Yeah." I said putting my chin on his shoulder. "They're probably dead by now. All of them."

"Maybe not."

"Either way, I'm not going back there to find out." I replied, pressing myself against his back.

"Good." He replied softly, making me put my chin on his shoulder again. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I wouldn't want you to go."

Smiling, I pressed a kiss against his cheek, wrapping my arm higher against his chest. We were quiet the rest of the way, simply content with the way we were right now. Something was definitely there, making me both anxious and excited. It had been a long time since Ben and I had never really formed any feelings for Caesar. I didn't want him to die but I was never going to be with him the way I was with Ben. Being with Rick now felt different than when I was with Ben. It was different but I liked it. But I wasn't sure either of us were ready for anything. The few moments where we were close, he was always holding back. He wanted to be sure. So did I.

"Despite losing the mare, I had a nice day." Rick told me after we'd taken care of the stallion.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "I did, too."

Staring at each other, I put my hands on his arms, stepping against him. His hands found my hips before he wrapped his arms around me, his hands low and high on my back. Putting my hand against his face, I smiled, slowly bringing my face to his. At the last moment, I stopped, sighing as I leaned away from him.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"Don't be." He replied. "We've got time."

Laughing lightly, I nodded at him, "Yes, we do."

"Linny!" Daryl's voice drifted to us.

Rick sighed and looked at him before meeting my eyes again, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I told him, fixing the collar of his shirt.

He took my hand. "You and Daryl," he started, "do you – or does he –?"

Smiling, I shook my head, "No, Rick. He's become one of my best friends, but there's nothing else going on there."

"You two spend a lot of time together. You're in each other's cells. Go on runs together. Nights outside…" He said and trailed off.

Taking his hands, I ran my thumbs across the tops of them, "As friends. He's like a human security blanket." He nodded at me, clearly not reassured. "And the thing about security blankets is that eventually you don't need them anymore." I added. "Or you outgrow one and find one that you need more."

He smiled, his hand finding my face again. "Alright."

My stomach did a flip as I spoke honestly to him, "I want to kiss you, Rick. But I'm just not ready."

"I don't think I am either." He replied. "I just know that whatever is between us is something that I want to explore."

I couldn't help but laugh a little, "That's a little cheesy."

"I can be cheesy." He smirked at me.

Sighing, beaming at him, I nodded, "I want to explore it, too. Just…slowly."

He grinned at me, "I like slow."

"Where the hell you two been?" Daryl asked.

"Scouting."

"We're a horse short." He replied.

Sighing, I nodded, "We ran into a little trouble."

"Damn." He replied, hugging me tightly. "I know how much they mean to you."

"Thank you." I said hugging him tightly.

"Drink?" He said.

Laughing, I ran my hand along Rick's chest as Daryl led me away from him, his arm across my shoulders. "Trying to get me drunk?"

"Nah." He replied. "Even if I was it don't mean anything."

Turning, I pointed at Rick. He grinned and nodded at me, putting his hands on his hips. Waving, I wrapped my arm around Daryl as we walked back into the prison.

"Before that drink I have to go get Ray." I told him. He stopped and looked at me, crossing his arms. "You let her out." I stated.

"Linny!" Ray called and then her arms were around my neck.

"Ray." I said a little on the bland side, my eyes still on Daryl.

"Don't be mad at him." She said letting me go. "I fed him a sob story that he believed without even thinking about it." She explained, beaming at me.

"Really?" I frowned at Daryl. "She told you a story and you just assumed that it was true?"

He looked guilty, "It was a damn good story."

"See?" She grinned.

I raised a brow at her, lifting my shirt. She stopped smiling. "Stop manipulating people." I told her. She nodded. "Have we learned our lesson?"

"Yes." She replied. "I need to work on my anger and find healthy ways of letting it out."

Smiling, I nodded, "Good girl. See? You do have a brain." She raised a brow but smirked at me. She reminded me very much of me, making me laugh at her. "Hungry?"

"Starving." She said and was pulling on me.

Teenagers.

Getting something to eat, the three of us sat and talked until Maggie and Glenn appeared. Then Michonne. Sasha and Tyreese. Our whole little family. All but Rick, Carl and Judith. But I wasn't disappointed long as arms wrapped around my neck and Carl scooted in next to me. Ray looked annoyed but she didn't say anything as I raised a brow. She was going to be fine.

After dinner, I made the kids clean up, mediating until it was done. Ray swiftly returned to her cell in Cell Block D. She would want her things after three days of being without. Carl went to read comics and everyone else dispersed to do whatever it was that they did, leaving Daryl and me alone.

"Wanna do a perimeter run?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Daryl." Carol called.

"Every time." I smiled up at him.

"I'll be back in a few." Daryl called over to her.

"Alright." She replied, but her tone said the opposite.

Gripping his hand, I pulled him with me, "Come on. Just because she calls, it does not mean you have to listen."

"I know." He said but glanced over his shoulder. "What do you think she needs?"

"I have no idea." I stated. Stopping I looked up at him. "Daryl? Do you want to go?"

"Nah." He said. "She'll be fine."

I wrapped my arm around him, "You sure?" He looked back where she was. I sighed. "Go, Daryl. I can handle it."

"Nah." He said again and we started to walk again. "If it was serious she'd have sounded more annoyed."

"She just doesn't like the fact that you're with me." I grinned up at him.

"True enough." He replied.

Walking the grounds, we talked about whatever came to mind, telling him about my day and asked about his. Mine was easily more exciting, but he was busy doing his own thing. It was just nice that he came back in the same day. There were streaks of time where he would be gone for days. I hated it. We all did. But that was when he brought in the most people and people were important. Though he was only after one person and he had yet to be found.

When night had fallen, I found myself in Carl's cell, listening as he read. It was nice and I had to admit that it lulled me to sleep and I really enjoyed sleeping. I'd done so little of it since the world fell apart that having the opportunity now was priceless. I woke to silence, Carl having fallen asleep. Crawling over him, I got up, covered him, and then headed to mine. Pausing at Rick, I pulled the sheet back, seeing both him and Judith sleeping. He looked so peaceful and I almost let myself in, wanting to get a closer look. Only then I silently laughed at myself, stepping in just far enough to rub Judith's back, and then left to go to mine.

Yeah, there was definitely something there.


	20. The Opposite of Us

**Chapter Twenty: The Opposite of Us**

Having gotten up early, I made a mug of instant coffee, grabbing a protein bar before making my way outside. I sat in the eating pavilion, looking out over the fields. I could hear the animals making noise. Able to see the pigpen and stable that held the livestock that would sustain our people. It was the perfect temperature right now, making me just want to sit here all day. But I knew that people would start to wake up and roam out here for breakfast. I'd be forced into simple chitchat and be thanked for everything I've done for the community. I felt like I'd done nothing. I was just living.

Since I'd been here – a part of this group – it always seemed like that initial group was always revered higher than everyone else. As well as Sasha and Tyreese. Even Karen had climbed ranks. But Rick and his group, along with me and Michonne, we were held to higher standards and sometimes it felt impossible to hold them up. I was just me. I wanted to be just me. I didn't want to feel like I was responsible for anyone let alone everyone. But – like always – it would seem that I would never get my way. I had Michonne to look after. Maggie. Glenn. Daryl. Rick. Ray. The list was getting long. But thanks to Hershel, I was able to feel better about it. He had definitely been the light during a dark time. A time where the feeling of metal in my hand was the only security there was. That fighting and killing was the only options in the world. But it wasn't. I wasn't alone in that and it was the reason why I was out here now. I wasn't the only one who had to choose a different way. But the more time passed, I was feeling better. I felt like the old me again.

Thinking about the few weeks since mine and Rick's run; I was finally starting to feel peace once again settle on me. Being in a better place with Rick definitely made all the difference. I finally could be happy – truly happy – without the weight of my hatred weighing me down. Or the sadness I'd been carrying around with me.

Finishing my coffee, I stood, starting to walk toward the gate, only to be bumped from the side. "Morning." I smiled at Rick.

"Morning." He smiled back. "How are you feeling?"

I nodded at him, "I feel good."

"Need help changing the bandages?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied. "After chores are done I would appreciate it." I watched him splash water on his face from the barrel by the gate. "Though they're healed. I don't know why we're still worrying about them."

"You know what Hershel said." He replied.

Laughing lightly, I nodded, "I remember."

"Good." He said as we passed through the gate. "Here."

"What's this?" I asked as I took the iPod from him.

"Days get long working out here all day." He stated as he looked up at the sun. "I thought you could use a little distraction."

"Thank you, Rick." I smiled at him. "It means a lot."

He nodded, "I've, uh, had it for a while now. I was planning on using it as a way to break through but we managed without it."

Laughing, tipping my head back, I nodded at him, "That we did, baby. That we did."

Putting the buds in my ears, I looked through the music. Whoever had owned it before me had a broad taste in music. A wide smile crossed my face as I picked a song, the first notes making my hips swing.

It was going to be a good day.

Going straight to the animals while Rick headed down to the fields, I moved to the music, my audience of pigs weren't quiet as impressed as our horses were. Our remaining mare bobbed her head with me, walking in circles as I danced my ass off in the middle of their small pasture. I was breathing hard when I finally stopped, looking toward Rick who was still tilling the soil. He caught me, smiling as he waved. Waving back, I took a deep breath, starting to muck and clean and brush down and everything else that the animals required.

"Looks like you were having fun up here." He smiled when he was done, coming up to the fence, both his hands on top of it.

Laughing, I stepped up to him from the other side, putting my hands on the fence between his, "I was. I can't thank you enough. I feel pretty damn alive today."

"Good." He smiled. "That's good. I'm glad."

"I'm glad you're glad." I replied and laughed again, my stomach fluttering as he covered my hands with his.

"You didn't wake me up." Carl interrupted as he walked toward us.

"'Because I knew you were up all night reading comics with a flashlight." Rick replied.

"So was she." He stated and looked at me.

Rick smirked at me.

"Not all night." I defended.

"Yeah." He nodded. "You spend more nights in his cell than yours." He added and shook his head.

"So? We like comics. Sometimes it's more fun to read together than separately. It's not like we have two copies or anything."

"And you're too impatient to wait for me to finish them." Carl stated.

I just shrugged at him, "It's not like you're complaining."

"No." He replied, looking at the pigs. "What's up with Violet?"

"Carl, I told you not to name them. They're not piglets anymore. They're food." Rick scolded.

"I just thought, you know, until…" He started but stopped. "Okay."

"I don't know what's going on with her." Rick went on with a kinder tone. "Could be sick, could be nothing." Then he smiled, adding, "Feel better, Violet." We all laughed. "Well, what are your thoughts?" He asked me.

"I think she's sick." I told him. "But I'm hoping that it's just something she ate and nothing more serious. She was fine yesterday so I'm going to keep a close eye on her for the next few days. If she doesn't come out of it than we'll have to put her down. Can't risk it spreading to everybody. So far no one else seems to be sick."

"Okay." Rick nodded.

"And for the record," I told him, "we named them together. That's Herbert, Louise, and Harper."

He laughed lightly, shaking his head, "You, too?"

"I am the vet tech after all. I can't not name them." I stated.

"She's really good with them." Carl told his father.

Rick nodded, "I've noticed."

Watching him for a moment, I couldn't help but latch onto the compliment. It was nice.

"But what are you gonna do when it comes time to eat them?"

"Before this new world, I wouldn't have been able to do it. But now that it's eat or be eaten, Herbert is gonna taste real nice."

Both Grimes men laughed. Letting silence linger for a few minutes, we watched the pigs play. They'd grown up fast and I missed their piglet days. They were so stinking cute.

"I grew up on a farm, and even then, me and my sisters would name everything, giving them all a ceremony before they were butchered."

"And you ate them?" Carl asked.

"Oh, hell no." I told him. "We swapped meat with the neighbors so we wouldn't have to."

"Your dad probably just told you that to make you feel better. You probably ate all of them." Rick stated nonchalantly.

There was a horrible truth to that. "That…is a horrible thing to say." I replied, feigning horror.

"Yeah, Dad. Way to torture her."

"Linny knows I'm kidding." Rick said before smirking, "Sort of."

"Hey." I said and gently shoved him. "Not nice."

He laughed and met my eyes. "What are your plans for the day?"

"I don't know. There are so many things to choose from." I smirked at him.

He grinned, momentarily bowing his head, "Care to help with the gardening?"

"I would love to." I smiled at him. "Carl?"

"Yeah. Okay." He replied, bobbing his head.

Smiling at him, I wrapped my arm around his neck, "Good. You need a little more responsibility around here."

"And it's not like I've been given much of a choice." He added under his breath.

"True enough."

"Caroline." Hershel called from behind me.

"Good morning." I smiled, wrapping my arm around him as he stepped next to me. "Ready to teach."

"Only if you're ready to listen." He smirked.

"Hey, I know a thing or two about farming. I was raised on one."

"But you do not have a green thumb." He stated.

Laughing, tilting my head back, I nodded, "That is true."

Going to every growing plant, Hershel knelt down, gripping leaves that were being overshadowed by the rest of the plant. "These leaves are gonna be in the shade, so we won't get any good fruit from it. So we just pinch it off here. Things break, but they can still grow. These little bristles, they'll take root and we'll have a whole new plant."

"That made way more sense to me than when my dad tried to tell me." I stated.

"That's probably because you were disinterested at the time." Hershel replied.

Nodding, I smiled at him, "You know me too well."

"Where's Ray?" He asked. "I thought you were going to make her start helping."

I sighed, "She's been doing better. She's been participating in story time, helping Carol with all the kids. I can't make her change too quickly. So if she's putting effort in, I can't say anything."

He nodded, "I'm glad. She needs direction. Carol is a good person to help with that."

"Yeah. Since I've failed left and right."

"You haven't failed." Rick stated. "She's just more stubborn than you are."

"Ha-ha." I smiled at him.

Hearing a whistle, my stomach jumped, knowing exactly who it was. Looking to the gate, I was already running, the men with me as they opened the gate. Hearing hooves, Michonne came into view, riding up on the stallion.

"I've missed you!" I exclaimed as I stepped up to her and the horse. She opened her arms to me only to have me hug the horse's nose as he pressed his forehead against me.

"I see where I stand." She grinned at me.

"Kidding." I said and hugged her tightly. "You gotta stop spending so much time out there. Stay home for a change."

"That's why you're here." She smirked.

Rolling my eyes, Rick and Carl came up to us.

"We're glad to see you." Rick smiled.

"Glad to see you, too." She smiled back before looking at Carl. "Somebody hit the jackpot." She told him as she pulled out comics and handed them to him.

"No way." He said with awe. "Awesome! Thank you."

"I get to read 'em when you're done." She smiled at him.

"When _we_ are done." I stated.

Carl shook his head at me, "You just can't wait, can you?"

"Nope." I grinned at him.

"And I found this." Michonne added as she handed Rick an electric razor. "Your face is losing the war."

Smiling, I stepped next to her, "She's not wrong."

"You can't talk, Sasquatch Legs." He grinned at me.

My mouth fell open and then I was hitting him, "That was one time."

"And I remember."

"Asshole." I said shaking my head as I partially moved behind Michonne. She just laughed at me.

"You gonna stay a little while?" He asked her.

"Just a little while."

We were interrupted by Daryl's motorcycle approaching. "Damn. I forgot about the run."

He stopped and looked at Michonne, "Well, look who's back."

Michonne looked at him sadly, "Didn't find him."

"Glad to see you in one piece."

"I'm thinking of looking over near Macon." She told him, though he didn't look pleased. "It's worth a shot."

"70 miles of walkers. You might run into a few un-neighborly types. Is it?" He asked her, not getting a reply. Then he looked up at Rick. "I'm gonna go check out the Big Spot. The one I was talking about, just seeing."

"Yeah, I got to go out and check the snares. I don't want to lose whatever we catch to the walkers."

"I'll go." Michonne volunteered.

"You just got here." Carl complained.

She simply smiled at him, "And I'll be back."

Putting my hand on Daryl's shoulder, I met his eyes with a serious look, "Please be careful."

"Always am." He nodded, wrapping his arm around my waist.

Sighing, I nodded back, pressing a kiss against his forehead. "Be smart."

"Always am." He repeated, smirking now.

Smirking back, I put my hand against his cheek, "See you soon."

"Be good." He told me before revving the bike and moved forward.

Walking with Carl to the pasture, we put the horse back, taking the tack off and started to give it a good brush down.

"He'll be fine." Carl told me.

"I know." I smiled. "He always is."

Then Rick walked up, "You seem anxious."

"Now that I don't go with all the time, I'm always anxious when they go." I replied.

"Going to check the snares?" Carl asked him.

"I am. You're not. Do your chores. Read comics. Maybe some books, too. Hang out with Patrick. Maybe go to story time."

"Dad, that's for kids."

"Yeah. Now finish brushing him down." He told him. Then he looked at me, "Wanna come?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Daddy." I grinned at Hershel.

He smiled at me before meeting Rick's eyes. "Nothing wrong with staying close, Rick. Everyone understands. You're growing us enough food so we won't need to do runs soon. But we do have to find you a good pair of overalls. You need to look the part. A little piece of wheat out of the corner of your mouth. Maybe a bigger ass."

Rick laughed, "Yeah."

"Listen, the rest of the council – Daryl, Glenn, Carol, Sasha, all of them – they wanted me to talk to you. When you go out there, you got to take your gun."

My head shot up to Rick, seeing the stubbornness on his face.

"It's just outside the fence. I have my knife. I get in trouble, six bullets isn't gonna make the difference." He replied. "Plus, I'll have Linny."

"Rick." I told him gently. "Even I take a gun when I go."

Hershel nodded, "Rick, we want you to be safe. Bring your gun."

"Linny will have hers." He tried again.

"And if something happens to me?" I frowned at him. He shifted feet, meeting my eyes with a hard look. "Shit happens, Rick. Who knows what we'll run into? What if we get separated?" He sighed and nodded. "Thank you." I smiled at him.

"Only to ease your mind." He smirked.

Smiling, I gently shoved him, watching him walk off to get his weapon. Turning to Hershel, I put my hand on his arm, kissing his cheek, "We'll be back before dark."

"Take care of each other." He told me as he walked me to the gate.

"Always." I smiled at him. Looking up, listening to the voices in the pavilion, I could see Ray among them, sitting apart from the main group of people. "Will you keep an eye on her for me? If she gets out of hand force her to do whatever you want her to do."

He smiled, "I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"You ready?" Rick asked as he stepped up to me.

I nodded, "If you are."

He just smiled, his arm finding my waist before he spun me, making me face the woods. Moving into them, we followed the same path we had been for months, checking each trap, hoping that something was in all of them. Rick and Daryl had done most of them, but I had been learning, wanting to know as much as possible. Who knew what the future would bring? I wanted to be prepared for anything.

"Do you think Violet will be okay?" Rick asked.

"You're awfully worried about her." I smirked.

"She's big and she's a good mother. We should either attempt to breed her or butcher her when the others are bigger. If we do that, she'll feed a lot of people." He replied.

"All good points." I told him.

"If she's sick can we still eat her?" He asked.

"No." I replied quickly and seriously. "I do think she's sick and if that's the case we need to euthanize and burn her to hopefully kill whatever pathogen she might be carrying. Zoonotic diseases are nothing to play around with."

"Zoonotic?" He frowned.

"Diseases that can be passed from animal to human." I replied.

"That's a thing?" He asked next.

"Yeah." I nodded. "You were a deputy. I'm sure you've heard of rabies and cat scratch fever."

"Yeah." He nodded back.

"Both are zoonotic diseases. So is toxoplasmosis, worms, salmonella, Lyme's disease, e. coli, anthrax, giardia, listeria, the plague –"

"I get it." He told me with a frown.

"Sorry."

"You're just full of knowledge." He added with a smirk.

I raised my hand, "CVT." He laughed. "I didn't get the 'C' because I was stupid."

"I would never think you were stupid." He stated.

"And I appreciate that." I smiled.

Finding a rabbit, he walked me through resetting the snare before we moved on. Even though he already knew that knew exactly how to do it. Next we found a deer but it had been torn apart by walkers. It was fly ridden and smelled horrible. Though I found the scent of its rotting flesh better than that of a destroyed walker. They had a distinctive smell that you just can't forget. Like parvo. Ew.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked me as we walked.

"Of course." I replied, snapping a stick in my face. "Ow."

He laughed, putting his hand against my face, his thumb touching the line it had made. "How the hell have you made it this long?" He teased.

I laughed, "Sometimes I have no idea."

"I'm just going to call it a sign of happiness." He replied.

Grinning, I nodded, "Yeah. I think you'd be right." He smiled and then we kept moving. "You had a question?"

"No." He replied. "I think I already know the answer."

Hearing something up ahead, the snare came into sight, a big black boar stuck in it.

"Damn it." I whispered, hearing the way it was breathing. It was sick.

I was about to move to it, to assess it better, but before I could take two steps there was the sound of rustling. Rick gripped my waist, pulling me backward and behind a tree. He gripped me tightly as we watched a very emaciated woman come into view, kneeling next to the boar. She needed it more than we did. Rick motioned toward the way we had come. Nodding, we attempted to leave as silently as possible.

"Wait. Please." She called out to us. Her voice accented. "Please? Please help me."

She sounded so defeated. Turning back to her, she was hideous. She was filthy and skinny and her teeth were discolored. Her clothes were in rags and she was clearly suffering. It was sad. Gripping Rick's wrist, I felt a wave of emotion. This could have been me. This could have been us. This could still be us. This is what the world was now. Was this what we had to look forward to? No. No, we were going to be okay. We had a good life. We would keep it.

"I know you don't know me." She told us. "Okay, I know that. But can you please help me get this to my husband? We haven't eaten in days."

Rick stepped toward her, my hand slipping from him, pulling out the tinfoil of meat that he'd brought. "Here. Go ahead."

"Thank you." She said as she took it. "Do you have a camp around here?"

"Yeah."

"Could we possibly come back with you? We've been doing…very badly on our own."

Rick stepped back until his arm brushed mine, "We'd have to meet him. I need to ask him some questions, both of you."

"What questions?"

"Just three. When we get there." He told her getting a nod in response. "You have a gun on you?" She shook her head. "Can I make sure?" She nodded and he stepped forward, patting her down, only finding a knife. "Yeah. Look, I don't know you, so I'm just going to tell you this. You try anything – anything – you're gonna be the one who loses."

"I don't have anything else to lose."

"No." Rick told her. "You do."

"Rick." I said softly. He looked at me and nodded. "Okay." Keeping his eyes for a moment, I looked at the woman. "Lead the way." She nodded and quickly turned and started back the direction she had come from. "Will you tell us your story?" I asked her.

"We were going to Puerto Vallarta for our honeymoon." She started.

I immediately felt sorry for her. She had just gotten married. She was going to start a life with the man she loved. It sucked. God it sucked.

"When they shut down the airports, our connecting flight never connected. They wouldn't let us leave the terminal, so…we slept next to these huge marble sculptures from Zimbabwe. Then, on the fourth night, the things just came through. There were a lot of us and…now it's just Eddie and me. And I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for him. And it isn't that…he saved me over and over again or that he showed me the things that I had to do or…to be willing to do. If he wasn't still here…I – I couldn't be. I just – I couldn't."

Rick looked at me, anxiousness filling him, "What were they?"

"What?" She asked.

"The things you had to be willing to do?" I replied softly.

"Um…eating whatever we could find – animal carcasses and rotten fruit – and…leaving people behind. Hiding from people who needed my help. Unlike you." She replied.

"You don't know what we've done." I frowned at her.

"This is not charity." Rick added, his fingers briefly brushing mine. "You have to have numbers. People are the best defense against walkers or people. We help each other."

"You call them "walkers"?"

"What do you call them?" I asked.

She never replied, making an awkward silence fall between us as we kept walking. I gave Rick a look and he offered me his hand. Reaching for him, I tripped and slammed to the ground. He grinned, attempting not to laugh as he helped me back up. Brushing myself off I sighed at him. He offered me his hand again and I took it, holding it only a few minutes before letting it go again, settling for intermittently gripping the back of his shirt.

"I saw those sculptures at the airport once. My favorite was the kids playing leapfrog."

The woman glanced at him, "Mine, too."

"All the animal ones were my favorite." I piped up. "Except for the ants. Those were creepy."

Rick smiled at me.

"What Eddie and I had to do, did you do things like that? Did you? Do you think you get to come back from them?"

Rick looked at me before replying, "I hope so."

"Yeah? I hope we answer your three questions to your satisfaction." She told him with a glimmer of hope.

Coming out into a small clearing, their camp came into sight. The woman moving just a little bit faster. "It's just ahead." She told us. "Eddie. Oh, thank God you're still here. This is Rick. He's gonna help us." She said as she knelt in front of a wooden box. "Everything's gonna be okay. Everything –" She was breathing heavily.

"Rick." I said as I looked in the tent.

It looked like it was only for one. Looking around, I would think only one person lived here. Looking back at the woman, you could hear the sounds. Eddie was here all right, only from what I could tell, it was only his head. Rick and I looked at each other, only then there was the sound of a blade scraping. I felt my eyes grow wide as Rick turned just in time to deflect the woman as she attempted to stab him. We both pulled our guns out, aiming them at her.

"What the hell?" I said as I looked down at her pitiful form.

"Damn it!" Rick yelled.

She was sobbing on the ground. "I wanted to take the boar. I just knew – I knew I'd get you here so much quicker. He's starving. He's slowing. He needs something alive."

Rick moved toward the box while I kept my gun trained on her. Afraid to even blink in case she tried something else.

"Please, I told you, I can't be without him." She said as she got to her knees. "And so I kept him. It was wrong. I can't do things like this. And – and you have to do things like this. Let me be like him. Don't stop it. Don't end it after."

She raised the knife and I jerked toward her, "Wait!"

"No." Rick said.

"Let me be with him."

"No!"

It was too late. I gripped her arm a second too late as she stabbed herself. Even with my hand against her she stabbed herself again. I was too shocked to stop her, staring wide eyed as she fell to the side. My hands were shaking as I looked up at Rick. He was staring down at her with tears in his eyes.

Looking back at her, I gently moved the hair from her face, "It's gonna be okay."

"Don't stop it."

"I won't."

Rick bent down next to me, "Hey."

"What were…the questions? The three questions?" She asked as she started to struggle for breath.

He looked at me and I quickly put my hand on his arm, nodding at him, "How many walkers have you killed?"

"Eddie – Eddie killed – killed them all. Until…"

"How many people have you killed?"

"Just me." She said and gasped. "Just me."

The last question he pushed out with difficulty, "Why?"

"You don't – you don't get to come back. You don't get to come back from things. You don't…"

Then she died.

Shutting my eyes, tears slid down my cheeks, putting my hand against her arm. Hearing Rick, I looked up, seeing him already swiftly walking away. Looking back at her, I nodded, running my hand down her hair before I stood and slowly started to follow him.

"Rick." I said as he kept a fair distance between us. "Rick, stop." He shook his head and seemed to pick up his pace. "Rick!" I said and jogged after him, spinning in front him, putting my hands against his chest, forcing him to stop. "Please." He just met my eyes. "It wasn't your fault." I told him shaking my head. "She was too far gone. She kept her husband's head for God's sake." He just nodded at me. Taking his head in my hands, I stepped closer to him, "There was nothing you could do, Rick. Some things are out of your control." He sighed, lowering his eyes. Taking another step toward him, I pressed my forehead to his, "It's okay, Rick. It sucks but it's okay."

He gently gripped my wrist, leaning away and met my eyes. Nodding, he pulled me against him, wrapping me in his arms. Doing the same, I gripped him as tightly as I could. Gripping his hair, I sighed, feeling him press his face into my neck. He leaned away and his eyes met mine again. Smiling, I put my hand against his face, rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

"Let's go home." I smiled. He smiled, sighing again. "Come on."

Starting to walk again, I unintentionally made another branch smack me in the face, making me jerk back. Rick laughed, his arm finding my waist, moving me behind him. Gripping the top of his pants, I followed him, tripping before finally moving next to him. He laughed, making me just grin at him, happy to see him smile.

We still checked the other snares before we made our way back to the prison, conversation flowing freely along the way. When we got there, I stayed unusually close to him, feeling like he needed comfort, before I finally veered off. I wanted to check on Violet, hoping with all of me that she had bounced back. Grinning, ready to greet her, I stopped, seeing her lying in the mud.

"Damn it." I said and jumped over the fence, rushing to her. Checking her, she was dead. "Damn it." I repeated.

"Linny?" Rick said, making me look at him.

"She's dead." I told him, looking at her babies. They still looked okay. "We should take care of her right away." I added as I scooped her into my arms.

"Caroline, hand her to me." He told me.

"Just get the gate." I shot at him.

He sighed and opened it. Moving away from the pen, going to where the dead would be buried, there was little grass. Rick followed with a container of gasoline and a lighter. Setting her down apart from the graves, I put my hand against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I told her.

"Linny, step back." Rick said as he came up behind me.

I stood and turned to him, "Let me."

"No." He told me. "Just let me handle it."

"Rick." I said with a hard tone. "Let me."

He sighed and handed it over. I didn't hesitate to pour some of the gas over her, quickly lighting it. Stepping back, I watched her burn. Rick stepped next to me, staying quiet for a moment before I felt him staring at me.

"Is this where I tell you that there was nothing you could do?" He said softly, smiling at me.

Meeting his eyes, I cracked a smile, "Yes that would help."

"Linny." He said stepping in front of me, taking my head in his hands. "There was nothing you could have done. It wasn't your fault."

Laughing, I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thank you."

Walking back up to the prison, I went to my cell, changing before showering quick. Not saying a word, when I went back to the cell, Ray looked down from the top bunk. She followed me with her eyes, her brows furrowed but so far she hadn't said anything.

"You okay?" She finally asked.

I sighed, "Violet died."

"Really?" She replied without feeling. "What a waste of meat." I glared up at her. "Sorry." She added quickly. "I know you like the animals."

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Linny?" Maggie said appearing in the doorway.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Do you have a minute?" She asked.

I was immediately on edge, "Of course." I looked up at Ray, "You good?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

Putting my hand on hers, I smiled before following Maggie. She led me back outside and back down to the pens. She looked at them, frowning before she looked to where there was smoke in the air.

"What happened?" She frowned.

"Violet died." I told her. "What's up?"

She smiled before letting it fall, "I'm not pregnant."

I sighed, frowning at her, "I'm so sorry, Maggie. I know you wanted to be."

She nodded, "I did. But Glenn didn't. It's better this way."

Smiling, I hugged her tightly, "I'm still sorry."

She sighed and relaxed against me, "Thank you."

It was a short talk before we went back up to the prison. Dinner was being made and I was eager to fill my stomach and to just go to bed. Taking my plate of food back inside with me, I was nearly to my cell, smiling as I saw Daryl leaning against the frame of it.

"Hey, handsome." I grinned. "What are you up to?"

He sighed and gave me that look. Setting my food on the small table, I turned and pulled him into me, hugging him tightly. Gripping his hair, I pressed my face into his neck. He just gripped me tighter, making it almost painful.

"It's okay, Daryl." I told him. "You did everything that you could."

He scoffed and let me go, "You don't even know what happened."

Smiling, I nodded, "No, but I know you."

He nodded, looking defeated. "I'm sick of losing people."

"I know." I told him. "Eat with me and then let's just crash for the night. Sound good to you?"

"Very." He replied.

Eating, we talked, trying to keep each other's minds off of the day's events. I didn't feel much like talking about it and neither did he. People died today. A good pig died today. He wasn't the only one who was tired of losing people. After, he laid down, making me roll over him, my back pressed against the wall as I nestled against his side. He stared at the ceiling but I shut my eyes, liking the warmth of him as I swiftly drifted off to sleep. There were definite perks to him being a man of few words.

* * *

 **Another chapter down and a hundred to go! Hope you all are enjoying it! I'd love any feedback you may have. Things that work and don't or if something doesn't make sense or needs further explanation. I do love the editing process! And I do know I can get carried away with things. =)**

 **Lots and lots of funness ahead!**

 **THANK YOU!**


	21. Panic

**Chapter Twenty-one: Panic**

Waking to Daryl leaving, I sat up, gently gripping the base of his vest as he left, feeling his fingers against me. Rolling my neck, feeling a blissful crack, I stood up and rolled my shoulders, stretching before stepping out of my cell. Rick was making Judith breakfast and I smiled as I walked up to them.

"Morning, sweet pea." I beamed as I took her from her father. "You are looking scrumptious this morning." I told her and nibbled at her neck, making her shriek.

Rick chuckled and grinned at me, handing me her bottle. Grinning back, I nestled her in the crook of my arm, offering it to her. She gripped it with one hand while the other gripped mine, cooing as she drank. She was the cutest damn thing in the world. Looking at Rick, he put his hand against my back, leaning in and pressed a kiss against his daughter's cheek. Then he walked to Carl's cell.

"Carl. Carl. Come on." He said softly to him.

"Morning, Linny." Beth said as she stepped up to me.

"Morning, Beth." I smiled. "Ready for another fun filled day of babysitting?"

She smiled at me, "I like taking care of her."

"Good." I said, meaning it. "And it is much appreciated." I added, smiling at Judith before handing her over.

"Are you ready for another fun filled day in the fields?" Beth smirked.

"I am." I told her. "I like taking care of the animals. I like making sure we have food to eat."

"Good." She smiled.

Looking at Rick, I put my hand on his shoulder before moving from the prison. Michonne was already with the horses, tacking up the chestnut mare. Jogging down to her, I ran my hands along the horse's neck before looking at her.

"Stay, Michonne." I told her. "We need you here."

"No, you don't." She smiled. "You're doing fine. Everyone is fine." Then her smile fell, adding, "And you know why I'm going out there."

"I do." I nodded, taking the horse's reins as we walked toward the fence. "I just miss my friend."

She smiled, putting her arm around my neck, hugging me tightly, "I miss mine, too. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Good." Rick said as he stepped up to us. "Be careful out there."

"Always am." She smiled as Carl stepped up to her. "Any requests? Books? Comics? Some stale M&Ms?"

"You're the one that likes stale M&Ms." Carl stated.

Michonne grinned, "Then I'll definitely be looking for some. I'll look for some stuff you like, too." She said before growing serious. "Why don't you wear your hat anymore?"

"It's not a farming hat." He smiled. "See you soon?"

She nodded, "Pretty soon."

Rick and Carl moved toward the compost pile. It was time to feed the pigs. Sighing, I watched Michonne mount up; making sure her foot was firmly in the stirrup. Looking up at her, I forced a smile.

"Make soon sooner than usual." I stated.

She smiled, "You'll be fine without me."

"Oh, I know." I smirked up at her. "I'm more worried about you being out there alone."

"You can always come with me." She countered.

I looked over my shoulder, "I could."

She laughed lightly, "But you can't."

"Responsibilities and all."

"Caroline." She said shaking her head. "I think you may have finally found your place."

"My home." I grinned up at her. "It could be yours too if you just stuck around for a while."

She nodded, "It is home. But I can't stop. Not until I find him."

"I understand." I told her. "So get going so you can come home."

She nodded, moving through the gate as I opened them up for her. As soon as she was headed down the road, I turned and walked toward Rick and Carl. Pausing, I looked at the fences. The walkers were pushing against them, making them start to bend. It was only a matter of time before they started to give. We needed to get it under control.

"Linny!" Carl called. "You coming?"

"Yeah!" I called before going to them, grabbing the already full compost bucket, walking back toward the pigs.

"You okay?" Rick asked as he and Carl came with the second.

"Yeah." I told him. "I just wish she'd stay."

He nodded, looking in the direction she'd gone, "Me, too."

Creaking from the fences made us all look at them, only now I noticed something else. Stepping closer, I cocked my head as I took in the trails of blood that were coming from the walker's eyes.

"I see it, too." Rick said softly as he stepped next to me.

I shook my head, "Something doesn't feel right about that."

His fingers found mine, "Come on."

"They only took out one cluster yesterday." Carl stated. "Probably gonna need more people today. Maybe we could help."

"I got other plans involving dirt and cucumbers and keeping people fed."

"Well, if you don't want to, maybe I could." Carl said softly. "Could I?" He asked. "Linny could come with me."

Rick looked at me before his son, "We have other plans. That's what I should have said."

Rick dumped the second bucket of compost into the pig feeder. They were already coming in to eat. "Come on in. There we go."

"Dad…?" Carl said gently. "I'm sorry. I've been trying."

"Yeah, I know. And I'm proud."

"Dad, when can I have my gun back?"

"Carl." I frowned.

Rick didn't answer, he simply switched the subject. "Worms will give them some extra protein."

About to put in my two sense, there was the sound of gunfire, making me spin toward the prison before starting to sprint. Leaping over the fence, Rick and Carl were right behind me, rushing up into the main yard.

"Help! Help!" Lizzie yelled.

Mika was right behind her, "Please, come quick!"

"Cell block?" Maggie yelled from the tower.

"I don't know!" He yelled back up to her. Then he looked at Carl, "Get in the tower with Maggie. Don't argue, go."

"Rick!" I yelled as we ran to the gate.

Glenn ran into sight, yelling as he passed us, "Walkers in D!"

"No." I said and was running again.

"What about C?" Rick yelled from behind me.

Rushing to Cell Block D, I tore a handgun out of a woman's trembling hands, turning toward the infected. "Ray!" I screamed.

"Caroline!" I heard her yell.

Looking up, I moved for the stairs only to have my ankle grabbed. The walker pulled on me, making me skid down the stairs. There was pain but it lasted only a second as I shot it in the head. Swiftly getting back onto my feet, I moved up the stairs, rushing to Ray's cell, seeing her door shut. A small wave of relief hit me, though a walker was standing in front of it, reaching through the bars. Stopping, raising my gun, I shot him through his head, rushing forward.

"Ray." I said looking at her cowering in the corner. "Move, Ray!" I said throwing the door open.

She lurched forward, gripping my arm. At the same moment, a walker appeared, taking us both to the ground, the gun being knocked from my hand. My hand was against the woman's neck, holding her at bay as her fingers gripped me. Then a shot rang and she fell away. Ray had her back pressed against the bars of a cell, the gun shaking in her hands a she looked at me with wide eyes.

Nodding, I took the weapon from her, getting to my feet before pulling her to hers. She gripped me tight as I looked over the edge, seeing the chaos below. Seeing a walker moving behind Rick, I shot it, getting him to look up at me. Nodding, I started to shoot any walker in sight, knowing each person's name as I shot them down. These were members of our family. But I watched as the bullets passed through their heads. Blood spilling. Bodies falling. And for as horrible as it was, my hands remained steady, my eyes clear, feeling like the monster I thought I'd put to rest.

When they all lay dead, quietness filling the cell block for just a moment before the cries started. Loved ones were lost. Looking at Ray, she gripped my arm tightly as we moved toward the stairs. Then Rick was in front of me, taking my head in his hands.

"You okay?" He asked urgently.

I nodded, gripping his hands, "Yeah. Are you?"

He nodded, pulling me against him. Feeling the first wave of emotion hit me, I gripped him tightly. Taking slow deep breaths, I tried not to cry. He let me go, his hand moving to Ray, looking at her with a silent question. She smiled and nodded at him.

"Go to my cell, Ray." I told her. "I'll be there soon."

"Can't I stay with you?" She asked me.

"No." I replied matter-of-factly. "Go to my cell."

"I should help with the others." She stated. Giving her a look, she nodded at me. "Okay. Please don't be too long."

"I won't." I smiled, running my hand down her hair before I watched her leave. Then I looked at Rick, "What the hell happened?"

"Something happened." Daryl told me. "But it wasn't a breach. It was something from the inside."

Nodding, I followed as we stepped up to a dead walker. Sighing, Rick bent down and looked him over. Other than the shot to the head that killed him, he was unscathed.

"No bites. No wounds. I think he just died." He told us.

Then Caleb was next to him, "Horribly, too. Pleurisy aspiration."

"That's not good." I said looking at Hershel who had arrived as well.

"Choked to death on his own blood." He stated. "Caused those trails down his face."

"I've seen them before on a walker outside the fences." Rick stated.

"I can confirm that." I replied, crossing my arms.

"I saw them on Patrick too." Daryl stated.

Caleb elaborated as to what was going on, "They're from the internal lung pressure building up – like if you shake a soda can and pop the top. Only imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat are the top."

Feeling a hand against my shoulder, I looked up at Bob, "It's a sickness from the walkers?"

"No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain." Caleb replied.

"In other words: we're screwed." I frowned.

"Someone locked him in just in time." Hershel stated.

"No, man." Daryl corrected. "Charlie used to sleepwalk. Locked himself in. Hell, he was just eating barbecue yesterday. How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?"

"Linny and I had a sick pig, it died quick. We also saw a sick boar in the woods."

"Pigs and birds." Hershel nodded. "That's how these things spread in the past. We need to do something about those hogs."

Caleb tried to be optimistic, "Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it."

"Doubtful." I said looking at Daryl.

Bob seemed to feel the same, "Haven't seen anybody be lucky in a long time. Bugs like to run through close quarters. Doesn't get any closer than this."

"All of us in here, we've all been exposed." Hershel stated as he looked from person to person.

Nodding, I sighed, "Now we wait to see who's immune or not."

Looking at Rick, I was already moving. I needed to get to the kids. I needed to get to Ray. She was in here. She was exposed. I didn't break through that thick skull of hers just to have her get sick and die on me. Not like this.

Leaving the cell block, I saw Maggie, Michonne, and Carl. "Oh, thank god." I said rushing forward. Carl met me halfway. I knew I shouldn't touch him but I couldn't stop myself. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Dad." He said and rushed toward his father. Rick tried to stop him but Carl already had his arms around his waist. "Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come out."

"It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine. But back away." Rick told him.

"Are you okay?" I asked Michonne.

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Maggie." I said gripping her arm.

She smiled at me, "I'm good."

Nodding, I took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Good. I need to check on Ray."

"I had to use one of the guns by the gate. I swear I didn't want to." Carl told his father, making me turn to him.

"I was coming back. I fell. They came out and helped me." Michonne defended him.

"Are you all right?" Rick asked, getting a nod in response.

"What happened in there?" Maggie asked.

"Patrick got sick last night. It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block." He said and paused, looking at Carl. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people." Then he was looking at Maggie again. "Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there. You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while. Carl. All of you."

"I need to check on Ray." I repeated and moved toward the cell block.

"Linny." Rick said but I didn't stop. "Linny!" He said following me.

"No, Rick." I shot at him. "I need to check on my kid."

"Caroline." He repeated.

I spun, making him stop abruptly. "She was exposed too, Rick. I sent her to my cell. I need to check on her and get her out of there." He nodded at me. "Judith is in there." I added softly. "I won't touch her. Or anyone. But I need to go see Ray." He nodded again with a furrow in his brows. I sighed and started to play with my fingers. "What's the plan?"

"Maybe we're all okay." He replied.

Laughing, I nodded before turning away, jogging back toward my home. Rushing inside, all eyes were on me but I didn't say or look at them. Rushing to my cell, Ray was standing there, pacing. As soon as she saw me, her arms were around me and she started to sob into my shoulder.

"It's okay, Ray." I told her. "Come on."

"To where?" She cried.

"We've been exposed." I stated. "We need to leave this cell block."

Her eyes grew wide, "Judith."

I nodded, "Let's go."

Taking her back outside, I sat her at a picnic table, sitting across from her. Rubbing my hands together, I realized that they were bloody. My shirt was bloody. I could feel my skin sticking from the blood that was dried against it. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair, my mind repeating what happened over and over and over again.

"Are you okay?" Ray asked me.

Looking at her, I nodded, "I'm fine. I just thought we were over things like this happening."

She nodded, "Thank you for saving my life."

"Hey." I smiled at her. "For all intents and purposes, you're my kid. I'll always come for you, Ray."

She smiled, "I know. But I wanted to say it anyway."

Reaching across the table, I put my hand against the side of her head, "We're gonna be okay."

She covered it with hers, "I know."

Taking a slow deep breath, I looked at her, standing, "Okay. I'm going to go help clear D out. Stay here and wait for me. As soon as I know what our next move is I'll come for you."

She stood quickly, "Let me help."

"No." I frowned. "Hell no, Ray."

"I've already been exposed. I can help, Linny."

Looking at her for a long moment, I sighed and nodded, opening my arm to her. She rushed to me, holding tight as we moved back toward the cell block. Rick gave me an odd look when he saw us but he didn't have a say when it came to her. Or to me. I made the decisions. For me and for her. I would never put her in harm's way and I wouldn't have let her be there if I thought it would make a difference by keeping her out. She was right. She'd been exposed. Whatever was going on, it was already on her. On all of us. If she wanted to help, who was I to deny her.

When all the bodies had been moved, being piled up, ready to be buried, I sat on the stairs, breathing hard. I forgot how much work it was to move bodies. Finally leaving the cell block, I took a deep breath of the fresh air, looking out at the field. Seeing Daryl digging alone, I looked at Ray, nudging her as I made my way out to him.

"You're exhausted." Ray told me softly.

"There is still work that needs to be done."

"You need to rest." She went on.

"No, I don't. I need to help. I need to – I need to do something – anything – other than rest." I replied meeting her eyes. "I'm not a sit-on-the-sidelines type, Ray. I act. I do. I can't just do nothing. I can't…"

"I know." She said. "I'm sorry. I just don't want you to overexert yourself. Especially if there is a chance that you'll get sick."

"I'm fine." I shot at her. "Jesus, Ray. If I thought I was infected and getting sick, I wouldn't be out here right now."

"I know." She repeated. "I'm sorry."

Sighing, I took her hand, "I'm not mad, Ray. I'm just tired of losing people. I'm tired of moving bodies and digging graves. You're right. I'm just…tired."

She offered a small smile, "Than I'll do what I can to help."

"I know you will." I smiled at her.

She followed me as we moved toward Daryl. He was just like me. He did things. He acted. He didn't just sit and wait or watch. He made things happen. If any of us truly needed a rest, it was him. He did more than anyone and didn't say a word. He wasn't looking for a pat on the back or recognition for the things he did. He was just him. I loved him. He was amazing.

"Linny." Daryl said as we stepped up to him.

"Daryl." I said and dropped into the hole he was in, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He hugged me tightly, "You all right?"

"Sure." I replied. He nodded at me. "What's been decided?"

"One of the blocks is gonna be used as isolation."

"Death row." I said raising a brow. "Fitting."

He nodded again, "We'll isolate anyone who is showing symptoms."

I nodded, "Smart."

"Move all the young and old to the professional building to keep them as far from it as we can." He went on.

"Good." I told him with furrowed brows.

"Linny." He said with concern.

Getting out, I grabbed a shovel and started another hole. "I'm fine, Daryl."

"All right." He nodded as we started to dig.

Ray took up another shovel, starting yet another hole. We needed to bury our dead. We needed to give them peace. Burning was easier, but that's why we buried. We felt the pain. We put in the effort. Their deaths were not in vain. They had to mean something. The more I thought about it the more it hurt. People had died. A lot of good people. Children. They died because of something we might have been able to control. I knew Violet was sick. I knew there was a chance that she could spread something to everyone else. I didn't want to jump to conclusions and kill her prematurely and to waste all that meat. But now there was a chance that others were infected and this could happen all over again. Tears filled my eyes and I started to cry as I dug. No one said anything. They just let me get it out. And I did. My tears mixed with the dirt and I could feel the tracks they were leaving down my cheeks. I dug and I grieved. They deserved better than this. Only there was no better. This was the world. We had built a good life and they had lived it. They didn't deserve to go out like this but they had been given everything they could possibly need. Nodding to myself, it helped, it made it better. They had had a good life. Now we had to worry about everyone else.

"Please, God." I whispered. "Please, oh please, oh please."

"Caroline." Daryl said sadly.

"They're gonna to be all right." I nodded at him, sniffling as tears continued to fall. "Everyone is going to be okay. This is the worst of it. Nothing bad is going to happen." He nodded at me but his expression was telling. "What is it?" I asked him. He just looked at me. "Please, Daryl."

"Karen and David are sick. They've been put in cells until we can see how bad it is." He told me.

Taking a shuddering breath, I nodded at him, answering with mostly air, "Okay."

Getting out of the shallow grave, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. Repeating 'okay' over and over again as I walked toward the fence lined with walkers. I didn't even register Rick coming toward me until I'd hit his shoulder, meeting his eyes before I kept moving. Then a hand slipped into mine, making me look next to me, seeing Ray smiling at me. Nodding, I repeated 'okay' again, squeezing her hand tightly as we kept walking.

Letting her hand go, I picked up a cane that's end had been pointed, starting to stab the walkers in the head. One after the other, over and over and over again. Others were there trying to keep the walkers at bay. Stabbing them, I could hear a scream in the distance, only then I was spun, realizing that the sound was coming from me.

"Caroline." Maggie said with a worried expression.

"I'm sorry." I told her, tossing the cane to the ground and started to walk away from her.

"Hey." She said and gripped my wrist. "I don't think so." Meeting her eyes a tear slid down my cheek. "Talk to me."

"Maggie, I –" I started, but before I could say anything more, the fence gave a loud creak and we looked up at it, seeing it start to cave. "Jesus."

Maggie looked at me before the men, sprinting toward them, "Rick! Daryl!"

Picking up the cane again, I stabbed them as quickly as possible, convincing myself that if we killed just enough than we could save the fence.

"The noise drew 'em out and now this part's starting to give." Maggie told Rick as he appeared.

Looking at him, Glenn and Sasha were still stabbing them, Tyreese as well. Rick picked up another cane and started to stab them, Daryl quickly joining. Rick's eyes met mine and for a second I thought I was going to cry again. Nodding at him, I kept stabbing.

"This isn't working!" I yelled as I kept going.

"Get back!" Rick said as the fence bowed in.

"Damn it." I said and gripped Ray's arm. Looking at Rick, he looked at me for a long moment. "You know what to do."

He nodded, "Daryl, get the truck."

I jerked a little as Daryl gripped my arm as he ran by. Momentarily putting my hand against Rick's neck, he nodded and started to run. Continuing to stab, we could hear the truck, seeing it come round the fence. It was only a matter of seconds before there was the sound of a pig squealing. The tears started again and I screamed, my hatred for walkers coming out. They were to blame for everything. They were to blame for every bad thing that had happened to me. I had been content with my life. It had been what I had chosen. Then they happened.

The trick with the pigs worked and soon they had either wandered off to chase pigs or were lying dead against the fence. Dropping to my knees, I looked at them, feeling disgusting. Looking down, I saw rat corpses. It looked like they had been gnawed on. Heads here missing. Looking up at Sasha, she simply nodded at me. Shaking my head, I stood and started to walk away from them. How could things have gone from so perfect to shit overnight? How were we going to bounce back from this?

Going to the pigpen, it all had to come down. Whatever Violet had was in the soil and on this wood. It all had to come down and it all had to be burned. Violently taring the pallets down, I started a pile. Before long, Rick appeared. He didn't say a word, he simply started to help me. Piece after piece we made a pile. Both of us silent and brooding. Though I couldn't help my expression softening when both Carl and Ray stepped up to us.

"Not this time." Rick told them.

"Not another step." I added.

"Think the pigs made them sick?" Carl asked.

Rick looked at me before replying, "Or we made the pigs sick. I think we should stay away from Judy a while. Just in case."

"Okay." He replied.

Looking at Ray, she nodded, making me smile at her.

"I don't like it, but –"

"We have to protect her."

"Yes, we do."

"We have to protect everyone." I added softly.

There was a pause before Carl broke it, "Hey, Dad."

"Yeah?"

"Carol's been teaching the kids…how to use weapons. How to kill. Their parents don't know and she doesn't want you to know. I think you should let her. I know you're gonna say that it's not up to you. But it can be."

"She's what?" I frowned.

"You know it's the right thing to do." Ray stated. "Especially after what just happened. It's the right thing to do."

Sighing, I nodded at her, watching as Rick doused the wood in gasoline.

"Dad?"

"Thank you for telling me."

"Yeah."

Looking at Rick, I nodded at him, getting one in return. He looked at his son, "I won't stop her. I won't say anything."

He lit the pile, watching as it went up in flames.

"Carl?" Rick said and his son stepped up to him.

He handed Carl his gun. It was time. I felt my throat clench as I watched Rick put his gun belt on, checking the chamber before putting it in its place. Frowning, he handed me mine as well. For a long moment I just looked at it, frowning up at him. He nodded, his hand steady as he lifted it just a little higher. Sighing, I took it, putting it in the back of my pants. He nodded at me.

"We're covered in blood." He stated. I nodded at him. "We should burn our shirts."

Unable to hide a smirk, I looked at him, "You want me to take my shirt off?"

He smirked, his cheeks flushing, "Yeah."

Laughing, lightly at first, it got harder and harder. He joined in with me. The awkwardness faded and I nodded at him. Pulling my shirt over my head, I tossed it into the fire. There was a slight release that came with it. Despite knowing that Karen was sick, I felt a little better by simply burning a shirt.

Doing a double-take, Rick was staring at me, "Rick. Your shirt." He blinked repeatedly before nodding, taking off his shirt and tossed it into the fire. "Good boy."

He just smirked at me. Sighing, I stepped closer to him. He opened his arm to me, letting me wrap my arms around him. Pressing myself against his chest, I shut my eyes, hearing his heart beating beneath my ear. The heat of the fire kept me warm, as well as Rick's chest. Taking a deep breath, I was going to say something to comfort him, knowing that this day sucked for him as much as it had for me. Only when I went to talk, all that came out was a string of coughs. Leaning away from him, I met his eyes, my stomach turning as another coughing fit hit me.

"Damn it." I said and stepped away from him.

"Linny." Rick said moving toward me.

"No!" I unintentionally yelled. "No, Rick." I said more calmly. "I have it."

He rushed forward, gripping my arms, "And I've already been exposed."

"You don't need any more exposure." I frowned at him, my hands against his chest.

"Linny." He said sadly, putting his hand against my face.

Shaking my head, I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Letting him go just as quickly, I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "You need to take care of Ray." I told him. "Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"Caroline." He said taking my face in his hands. "You're going to be okay."

"People are dying, Rick." I stated. "It's fast-acting. I don't think the odds are in our favor."

"We'll figure it out." He told me with certainty.

"How, Rick?" I asked him. "How are we going to figure this out?"

He nodded, stepping closer to me, a smirk crossing his face, "Let's start by getting you a shirt."

Laughing, I nodded, "Okay."

"Okay." He said and pulled me into him again.

* * *

 **Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews! They definitely make me feel awesome and that this story is being enjoyed. There is so much left to tell and hopefully a few surprises that you won't see coming. If anything it'll be interesting! Lol. Keep it up and I can't wait to see what you all think as it moves forward!**


	22. Life is Short

**Chapter Twenty-two: Life is Short**

Sitting in the corner of a cell, there was the constant sound of coughing and crying. Moans filling the air as people writhed, their insides trying to become their outsides. It had been hours and more and more people were being brought in. More and more people who were sick and we had no way of making them better. We didn't have antibiotics. We didn't have enough fluids for everyone. We didn't have what we needed and that meant people were going to die.

Rick had told me that we'd figure it out. I wanted to believe him. But I couldn't. There were too many factors that were moving against us. Fourteen of us had died already and that number was only going to rise. But I had also decided that I was going to survive. I had people to think about. People who were counting on me. I would hold on. I would fight. And I wasn't the only one. Glenn was sitting with me in a cell on the upper level. Both of us just staring as we felt worse and worse with each passing moment.

"Are we having fun yet?" I smirked at Glenn. We both started to laugh, only ending up in a coughing fit. "Sorry."

"No, no, laughing is good." He told me.

"I should be helping Hershel." I told him. "Other people need help and as long as I'm able I should be helping him. I know just about as much as he does."

"Caleb's got it." He replied.

"He's sick too, Glenn." I frowned at him. "We're all sick. All but Hershel. He needs my help."

Getting to my feet, I staggered toward the door. I'd barely made it three steps when my legs gave out, making me fall forward. I didn't have the energy to catch myself, unable to stop my head slamming into the railing, making my world go black.

When I woke up, I was lying on a bed. Glenn was still sitting on the floor just outside the cell. Hershel was with him. He was looking rough. I could only imagine what I looked like. Slowly sitting up, I swung my legs over the edge, feeling nauseous, throwing up before I looked at them. Hershel looked up and then was moving to me. He tilted my head back, looking at my eyes before probing my head and my cheekbone.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

I smirked up at him, "Is that a real question?"

He smirked back at me, "Worse than before?"

I frowned, shaking my head, "I feel weird."

He frowned at me, kneeling down, "Caroline."

"My head hurts." I told him, putting my hand against his shoulder.

"Caroline." He repeated with worry.

Taking several deep breaths, I nodded at him, "I think I'm okay. As okay as I can be."

He let out a relieved breath, "You have to hang on, Linny. People are counting on you."

Laughing, I nodded, "Yeah. I'll do my best."

He sighed, putting his hand against my face. "Daryl's been asking for you. Rick, too. Ray. There's an observation room where you can see and talk to them."

"No." I told him with seriousness. "I don't want them to see me like this. Especially Ray. She's already lost enough. She doesn't need to see me like this. She can see me when I get through it."

He smiled and nodded at me. "You know that won't stop any of them, right?"

Laughing lightly, coughing, I nodded at him, "Yeah. I know."

Sasha stepped into the cell, sitting down next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. Sighing, I did the same, taking her hand. She made a soft noise, smiling as she relaxed against me. Smiling back at her, I embraced her, hugging her as tightly as I could without shaking.

"Daryl's at the observation window." She told me. "He wants to see you before he leaves on his run."

"The possible useless run that will take people away from home when the people they care about are probably going to die before they get back." I told her coldly.

She simply smiled and took my hand, forcing me up and out of the cell. Letting her, when we got to the small hallway that led to the observation room I paused. I wasn't sure I could face them. She stopped and looking at me, smiling and nodded before she gently pushed me down it. Sighing, moving from side to side, unsteady on my feet, I paused in the doorway, seeing Daryl on the other side of the glass. He was pacing, chewing on his lip like he usually did. Smiling, I staggered forward, tripping on a chair before I moved toward the glass.

"Care." He said and moved to where I leaned against the frame of it, looking up at him. "Jesus."

"I know, right?" I smirked at him. "I'm looking pretty amazing."

He nodded at me, "Always."

Laughing, I shifted backward, finding a chair, "This is selfish of me but…don't go." He froze and looked at me. "I said it was selfish."

"You need medicine. Everybody does." He replied. "Hershel made us a map. There's a vet school that could have the meds we need. Someone needs to go."

"I know." I nodded, tears in my eyes. "And I know you're the best guy for the job. I just…I don't want to never see you again. I don't want to die without you."

"Then I guess you should fight." He told me. "Fight, Linny. I'll see you soon." He didn't say anything else, not hesitating to walk away.

"Daryl." I said standing, moving to the window, pressing my hands to the glass. "Daryl!" Then I hit my hand against it. "Daryl, please!" Hearing someone, Ray came into view. "Hey."

She nodded. "I'm going with him."

"No." I frowned at her. "No, honey, stay here."

"And do what?" She asked. "Wait for them to tell me you're dead? I can help, Caroline. I can help you and you need to let me."

Keeping her eyes for a long moment, I finally nodded, "Take care of him for me."

She just smiled at me, "I will."

Smiling, I motioned her to go, "Get out of here."

She nodded and left, leaving me there alone. For a long moment I just stood there, looking through the glass. Only then my emotions got the better of me. Dropping to my knees, I pressed my forehead to the wall, starting to sob it quickly turned to coughing, leaving me barely able to breathe. Gasping, I felt my lungs protest. It didn't take long for my coughing getting the better of me, and the taste of blood filled my mouth. Forcing myself to calm down, I rolled, sitting against the wall, trying too hard to take a deep breath.

Hearing steps, I looked up, seeing Hershel. "It's starting." I told him.

He sighed and stepped forward, sitting in a chair. "How bad?"

"Just a little blood coming up." I replied, shaking my head.

He nodded, "Don't give up yet, Caroline."

I smiled at him, "I'm not, Hershel. I'm gonna fight. It's just…"

"You've been ready to die for a long time." He finished for me.

I felt relieved to have him say it, letting my shoulders drop. "Yeah." Only then I frowned at him. "Only I'm not anymore. I'm not ready." Tears started to fall again, a cough coming on, making me swallow a mouthful of blood. "I'm not ready, Dad. I'm not ready."

He smiled at me with his proud dad expression. "I know, sweetheart. I know."

Getting to my feet, I reached for him, letting him pull me to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I sobbed into him. "I love you."

"I love you, Caroline."

Leaning away, I wiped the tears from my cheeks, feeling extremely lightheaded. "Enough of that. I'm sure work needs to be done."

"I do have rounds to make." He smiled.

"Good." I nodded, wiping tears again. "I'll help."

"Are you up for that?"

Smiling, I nodded at him again, "I am. I need to do something. I can't just wait to die."

"Okay." He said and stood. "Let's go."

He led me to a bucket on the table, handing me a cup. "Before we start, drink this."

I took it, looking in it tentatively, "What is it?"

"Elderberry tea." He replied. "Should help keep your fever down."

Laughing, I ended up coughing, waiting for it to pass before downing the cup as quickly as possible. He handed me another and I leaned against the wall, sipping it slowly, trying to swallow as slow as possible so it coated my throat on the way down. My mouth and throat felt so dry it was starting to throb. My head and face hurt and I couldn't remember exactly why. Shutting my eyes, I took slow deep breaths, trying to will myself to feel better.

Going through the motions, Hershel and I moved from cell to cell, checking on everyone, giving them tea, doing anything and everything to keep them alive. We lost one, forcing me to stab him through his head before we moved him from the block. After we were done, Hershel made sure I got back to my cell, handing me a cup of tea before demanding that I get some rest. Not fighting with him, I laid back, shutting my eyes and thought of those I cared about. They would be okay. I'd be okay. We would all be okay.

It took an agonizingly long time but I finally fell asleep, feeling like it was only a second before I was rudely awoken my Hershel yelling in my face. I cracked my eyes open to see his so close to mine that I jumped.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked him. He took a relieved breath, making me frown at him, "Hershel? You okay?"

He nodded, "I am. Here." He said handing me a cup of tea.

"Are you trying to drown me?" I frowned as he helped me sit up. "All I've been doing is drinking tea."

He laughed and nodded at me, putting his hand against my forehead. "Do you feel worse than before?"

"About the same." I told him. "Not as weird though."

"Good. You need to keep resting. Be sure you let me know if your symptoms radically change."

Looking at him I smirked, "If I start coughing up blood again I'll be sure to find you." He smiled but shook his head. Turning serious, I met his eyes, "How many have died?"

"You don't need to worry about that." He replied.

"Hershel, there is a good chance I'm not getting out of here. I'd like a ballpark of how much time I have left."

"Why?" He asked. "Going to finally let the people who care about you see you?"

"Maybe." I smirked, then added, "Daryl and Ray saw me briefly."

"And you think that's enough?" He frowned at me.

My expression grew somber, "I think I'm dying and I don't want to be watched or badgered while I do it."

He sighed and nodded at me, "I can understand that, Caroline. I really can. But I'm here to tell you that that is not going to happen. People care about you. They love you. You need to let them. You need to see them or you'll never forgive yourself."

"It won't matter if I'm dead." I smirked at him.

"You're impossible."

I smiled wider at him, "I do have my moments."

"Well, I love you, Caroline. I love you and I am not going to let you die alone and without seeing the people you love. Even if you think it's to save them pain." He told me with certainty.

Smiling, I wiped a tear as it slid down my cheek, "I love you, too."

"I know you do." He smiled.

There was a long moment of silence as I attempted to swallow the large lump that had formed in my throat. Then I sighed and looked up at him, more tears falling, "I want to save them pain. I'm not giving up, Hershel. I'm still going to fight. It's just that…I'm tired. I'm tired and I'm scared and I have no control over anything that's going on."

"Then let go, Caroline." He smiled at me. "Let go and keep fighting and help where you can."

"Am I helping?" I asked him. "I mean, I want to help and I feel like I am, but…is anything we're doing actually helping?"

"Yes." He told me matter-of-factly.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "Okay."

He nodded, "You up for it?"

"Might keep me going longer."

"Or kill you faster." Glenn piped up.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine. You're positivity is astonishing."

He smirked at me, "Shut up."

I agreed with him completely, fighting through my own thoughts and feelings. Standing, I was steadier than I thought I would be. I downed my cup of tea and moved to the door. "Let's do this."

Focusing on other people helped me focus less on myself. Moving from cell to cell, starting on opposite ends of the block, Hershel and I reassessed all the patients. Setting up IV's for those who desperately needed the fluids. Part of me wanted one for myself but I hadn't gotten that selfish yet. Drinking as much tea as I could stomach, it didn't seem to matter. I felt thirsty constantly. Dehydration would kill me just as quickly as being sick. The thought made me anxious but I kept moving, kept assessing, kept thinking of all the reasons I needed to get out of here alive. One minute it worked, the next it didn't, but I kept moving forward. I'd keep moving for as long as I could.

Sitting on the floor against the wall, the observation window was above me. I could hear his breathing but neither of us had said anything yet. I was okay with simply being silent. Words only complicated things. This was one of those moments where you express all your deepest feelings just in case something happened and you never got another chance. Well, I wasn't about to pour my heart out or to say things just to make him feel better. The only thing that would help would be to live.

So far, so good.

"Say something." He finally said, breaking the silence. "Let me know you're still there."

"I've been thinking." I replied softly.

There was a long pause before he asked, "About what?"

"Philip." I stated. "Woodbury. Death. You."

"Linny." He said sadly. "Don't do this."

"Don't do what?" I asked him. "Think about the past?"

"We moved on from that."

"And it feels like we jumped into something else just as fast."

"It's not going to work." He told me matter-of-factly.

"Forgiving you changed things but I can't forget what you did."

"Don't do this." He repeated.

"You think you know what it felt like."

"Linny."

"You think you can understand what I went through."

"Stop."

"All because of you."

"Stop!" He yelled and slammed his hand against the glass.

"An emotional response." I smiled.

"We're not going back to that."

"Where are we going then, Rick?" I asked him. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to my grave."

"Linny." He said sadly. Looking up, I could see his hand against the glass. "Linny." I just looked at his hand. "I made a mistake."

I laughed, "A mistake."

"Why now? After everything, why bring it up again? Why start hating me again?"

"Did I say that, Rick?" I asked him.

"What are you saying?" He asked clearly frustrated.

Sighing, I felt tears start, "I don't know, Rick."

"No more games. Just talk to me."

"When I die, it'll be easier if there are no attachments." I replied, feeling everything grow distant.

"You're not going to die."

Laughing again, it turned into a harsh coughing fit, tasting the iron in my mouth. "I really am, Rick."

"I don't believe that."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a fighter."

"You've told me that before."

"Is it always going to come down to that?" He asked. "It may be the biggest mistake I've ever made but I did it because I thought I was doing right by my people."

"Would you do it again?"

"Never." He replied quickly. "Never, Linny."

"Never?"

"I would never do that to you again. I shouldn't have done it the first time. I have to live with that guilt."

"Good."

"But…"

"But?"

"I need you." He replied. "I think I need you."

Smiling, I reached my hand up, pressing it against the glass. He moved his over mine. Rolling onto my knees, I slowly stood, bracing myself against the small ledge of the window. Meeting his eyes, I simply continued to smile at him. He smiled back, nodding at me sadly. Shrugging, I shook my head at him. His brows furrowed and he lowered his eyes, nodding again.

"You picked a really bad time to start something." I teased.

He nodded, "But I'm gonna finish it."

Laughing lightly, I put my hand against the glass again, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I just figured if I picked a fight, it wouldn't hurt as much."

He nodded, "It would hurt, Linny."

Smiling, it quickly turned into a sob, "I'm scared, Rick. I'm so scared."

He swiftly put his hand against mine, "I'm here, Linny. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay." I told him.

"You're not either."

"Okay." I repeated.

"Linny," He said with seriousness, "you're gonna be okay."

"Okay." I repeated again, more air than sound.

"You gotta be." He added. "For Ray. I haven't been in charge of her long and she's already driving me crazy."

"I thought she went on the run with Daryl." I frowned at him. "That's what she told me."

"I convinced her to stay." He replied.

"Why?"

"For you. For her. I didn't think she'd be able to forgive herself if you died and she wasn't here."

Sighing, I nodded, "So what is she doing?"

"Helping reinforce the fences." He replied. "And talking. Lots and lots of talking." I laughed and nodded at him. "Does she ever shut up?"

"She talks when she's anxious. I've learned that. Silence is indifference. Talking is anxiousness." I paused to take a deep breath, my chest painful. "She's scared, Rick. You gotta reassure her."

"I'm trying." He nodded. "But it's hard to reassure her when I can't reassure myself."

Laughing lightly, I cocked my head at him, "Like you said, I'm gonna be fine. We all are. We're holding on. We're fighting."

"Good."

"But it sucks, Rick." I told him with seriousness. "It hurts. All the time. My throat is like sandpaper. I'm coughing up blood. And when the bleeding starts to reach my ears, eyes, and nose, there is a small window before you choke to death on it."

"Linny." He frowned.

"I've dealt with one since I've been in here, but I've passed out a couple times and I'm pretty sure I nearly gave Hershel a heart attack." I went on, getting a nod in return. "What did he tell you?"

"You went south pretty fast before you bounced back. Your face is all bruised from hitting the railing."

Nodding, I sighed, "That would explain the headache and pain when I raise my eyebrow." Touching my right one, I waved it off. "Whatever. I'm fighting, Rick. I'm helping. So are Glenn and Sasha. We're doing the best we can."

"I know." He nodded. "I'd expect nothing less."

"Even if it seems a bit hopeless and pointless."

"Don't let it break you." He told me. "Just keep going."

I nodded at him, "Okay."

"Linny." He said looking so sad.

Just looking at him for a long moment, I finally nodded, averting my eyes, "You should probably go."

He nodded, "Yeah." He didn't move, making me smile and shake my head at him. "I'll see you soon."

"You will." I smiled. "One way or another." He frowned, nodding before he swiftly walked away. "Be safe." I added though he was already gone.

Turning, I went to move to the hallway, only to have my head start to spin, my vision blurring. It was hard to breathe, a coughing fit taking me over before I fell to my knees. Gasping and coughing, blood was starting to build up on the floor. When I finally got control of myself, I sat on my heels, taking slow deep breaths.

"I'm okay." I told myself. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay."

"Linny." Sasha said as she stumbled toward me, falling to her knees. "You okay?"

I nodded, "Of course I am."

She looked at the blood, "Of course you are."

Smiling, I pushed myself up onto my feet. Holding my hand out to her, she gripped it, pulling herself up. "We all have jobs." I told her. "Mine is to help where I can. Right now I need to help Hershel."

She nodded, smiling, "Me, too."

We staggered down the hall into the cell block. Looking up, I was about to call out to Hershel when there was a sound from next to me. Turning, I put my hands up, pressing against a hard chest as Steve attempted to bite my face off. I wanted to push him away from me. I wanted to take care of it. But my legs gave out and I fell backward, my arms shaking with the weight of him on top of me. Crying out, I thought this was going to be the end, only then there was a knife in his head and he was pushed off of me. Looking at him, emotion filled me and I scrambled away. Feeling an arm around me, I momentarily panicked before I recognized who it was.

"It's okay, Linny." Glenn told me, his embrace tight. "You're safe."

Gripping him tightly, I started to cry, coughing taking hold. Feeling my eyes role into the back of my head, I attempted to get air into my lungs, but nothing was working. Everything was getting quiet. Then there was force against my back and blood spattered from my mouth. Gasping, I took in several breaths, feeling cold and shaky as I felt myself start to stabilize. Opening my eyes, I was still in Glenn's arms, his hand continuously running down my hair. Hugging his arm to me, I relaxed in his arms, letting him comfort me. Sitting up, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as I gently gripped his hair.

"Thank you."

"We're gonna be okay, Linny." He told me.

"I know." I smiled as I leaned away, putting my hand against his face. "If I let you die, Maggie would kill me."

He smiled, pulling me against him, "She'd kill me if I let you die, too."

Laughing lightly, I slowly got to my feet, holding my hand out to him. He took it and I used too much energy to help him up, momentarily swaying on my feet. Then Hershel had his hands on me. Meeting his eyes, he smiled at me, making me do the same.

"You're tough. I'll give you that." He told me.

Grinning, I coughed a few times, nodding at him, "I'm also kind, adorable, self-sufficient, loud, but most importantly…extremely stubborn."

He laughed lightly, nodding at me, "Good."

Taking care of the body, the three of us made rounds with Hershel, once again helping in any way that we could. Drinking as much tea as I could, I was still planning on surviving this. I had to. Ray was counting on me. She'd already lost everyone in her life. She didn't deserve to lose anyone else.

Hearing something odd, I looked up, someone was choking. Darting up the stairs, Henry was on the ground choking on his own blood. Rolling him, blood poured out of his mouth. Hershel was there a second later, as well as Glenn and Sasha.

"How do you move that fast?" Glenn smirked at me.

"You can move as fast as you need to when you have purpose." I told him.

He nodded, "I'll have to try and remember that."

Holding him as still as possible, Hershel intubated him, attaching an ambu bag, forcing air into his lungs. The danger passed for the moment, making me look around. We all looked like hell. My plan to survive seemed to quickly be imploding. As much as I wanted it didn't mean it was going to happen. Any of us could go at any moment. I wasn't sure we were going to get out of this. Sure, we could hold it at bay, but in the end I felt like this would be all of us.

Sitting against the wall, we were all catching our breath, though my head was spinning and for a moment my eyes rolled into the back of my skull and I fell to the side. For a moment there were only muffled voices, but then I opened my eyes to see Glenn and Hershel hovering over me.

"I'm okay." I told them. "Take note, Glenn, moving that fast is not a good thing." He chuckled and leaned down, pressing a kiss against my forehead. Sitting up, I smiled at them, "This is fun."

"I think we need new rules." Hershel told us, still breathing for Henry. "Spaghetti Tuesdays every Wednesday." He said making me grin at him. "But first we need to find some spaghetti."

Laughing, I ended up coughing, blood spilling from my mouth without permission. Taking gasping breaths, I was gripping Hershel's arm with a shaky hand while Sasha squeezed the bag keeping Henry alive.

"You need to rest." He told me. "And drink more tea."

"I don't think there's enough tea in the world that is going to make me better, Hershel." I replied sadly.

He looked at me with more concern then I wanted to see. "You need to rest."

Looking out into the cell block, I could hear the coughing and crying with the scent of blood and death in the air. "I'm afraid that if I lay down to rest that I'm never going to wake up."

"I won't let that happen." Hershel told me.

"You won't have a choice." I smiled at him sweetly.

"Caroline…" He frowned, shaking his head.

"I know, Daddy." I grinned at him, tears in my eyes. "I love you, too."

He pulled me into a tight hug, telling me softly, "You're not allowed to go anywhere. You hear me?"

"I hear you." I replied, hugging him as tightly as I could.

"I love you, Linny."

"I love you."

"Now than. You need to rest and I'll come check on you in a few minutes."

Nodding, I stood and staggered to my cell. Lying down, I listened for several minutes, still afraid to shut my eyes. Finally closing them, I was asleep in seconds. I was so tired. But I didn't want to die alone. I wanted to see Rick and Daryl. I wanted to see Ray. And Maggie and Michonne. I wasn't ready to die yet.

Waking to blood in my mouth, coughing it up, I rolled out of bed, landing on my hands and knees as it strung from my mouth to the floor. Gasping, for a second I thought this was the moment I was going to die. But then air filled my lungs and the panic started to ebb away. Getting to my feet, I fell out of the door, looking up and down the cells.

"Hershel?" I called as loudly as I could. Nothing. "Glenn?"

Staggering onto my feet, I gripped the bars, falling backward as a walker slammed against them. We were dying. We were losing the fight. Daryl and the others had to come back soon or it was all going to be. Making my way to the observation room, I could hear Hershel talking, seeing Glenn just outside the room. Sighing, I took a tentative step forward, running my hand down Glenn's hair as I passed him.

"Linny." Maggie said, a broad smile crossing her face.

"Maggie." I said and rushed to the glass as fast as I could muster, falling against it. "I'm so happy to see you."

"You're looking…." She started but trailed off.

I nodded at her, "I know. I look like shit. I don't have much time left. How long has Daryl been gone?"

"A couple days." She replied.

Frowning, I looked at Hershel, "How long was I out?"

"About sixteen hours." He told me.

"Huh." I replied with a frown. "I don't feel like I slept at all."

He smiled, rubbing my back, "But it did you good."

"I woke up to a coughing fit, chocking on my own blood. I managed to get it out but…"

"Linny." Maggie said sadly.

"I'm going to be fine." I told her matter-of-factly. "Maggie, I'm going to be fine. Glenn is going to be fine." She nodded and started to cry. "Don't, Maggie. Please. If you start then I'm going to start and I just…I need to see you smile." She forced a smile and nodded at me. "Thank you."

"Well, I have rounds to make." Hershel said pressing a kiss against my cheek.

"I'll help you."

He pointed his finger at me, "You stay and visit with Maggie."

I smiled, "Yes, sir."

He walked away, leaving me alone with Maggie. Wrapping my arms around myself, I was unsteady on my feet. She put her hand against the glass and I quickly put mine against hers. Tears started to fall and I couldn't do anything other than shake my head, my shoulders bouncing as I cried. She joined me, putting her other hand against the glass.

"It's going to be okay, Linny." She told me. "Daryl will come home and he will have the medicine we need to fix this."

"I don't have that much time, Maggie." I told her.

Coughing, unable to stop, I fell against the glass, blood streaking it as I fell to the ground. It was starting. This was it. I could hear Maggie yelling but it was muffled in my ears. Then Hershel was above me, saying something but I couldn't make it out. For a moment I was amused as I thought of Charlie Brown's teacher. I liked thinking about that more than the fact that I was dying. I would never see Rick again. There were so many things I wanted to say. So many people that I wanted to see. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I wasn't supposed to die like this. But I knew I was going to as blood filled my mouth, spilling over but there was no air getting into my lungs. My vision started to fail and sound was getting quieter.

This was it.

Time to go.

Good luck.


	23. Fleeting Moments

**Chapter Twenty-three: Fleeting Moments**

Dying wasn't any fun. It was painful and I was sure I looked completely like shit while doing it. There was nothing peaceful about it. No last words to make everyone feel better. No words of wisdom to pass on. No smile before death. There was simply disgusting mucous and blood that clogged up everything and suffocated me to death. No romanticized view of anything. It just plain sucked.

I blame the movies.

Opening my eyes, Ray was sitting next to me looking rather exhausted. Reaching my hand out, I put it on her arm, making her jump out of her skin. Laughing, I coughed a few times but there was no blood. No grossness.

I was alive.

"Linny." She said putting her hand against my hair. "Oh my god!"

Then she was gone.

"Good to see you, too." I told the air. Slowly sitting up, my chest hurt a little but my lungs felt surprisingly well. "Oh, shit." I said as I swung my legs over. "Come on, self. You're alive. Get your ass up and moving." Jumping as someone skidded into sight, "Jesus Christ!"

"Linny."

I was on my feet and to him faster than I thought I could be. "Rick."

He laughed and hugged me tightly, "You're gonna be okay."

"I sure as hell am." I smiled, putting my hand against his face.

He laughed again taking my face in his hands. "Good."

"Linny!"

Looking, I was running, slowly, but I was running. "Daryl!" Throwing my arms around his neck, he lifted me off the ground. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well, I kinda like you." He told me with his usual serious expression.

Laughing, I hugged him tightly, "Good. I kinda like you, too."

"She's out of the woods." Hershel added as he stepped into sight.

"Daddy." I grinned and was hugging him as tightly as I could. "Everyone else?"

"Doing well." He smiled, cupping my face in his hands.

Letting out a relieved breath, I nodded at him, my hand finding Rick's. "Good. That's good."

"Now you shouldn't be moving around just yet." He commanded. "You need to rest."

"She will." Rick stated as he pressed his shoulder against the back of mine.

Looking at him, I nodded at my father-figure. "I will."

Everyone left, but Rick's hand didn't move from mine and soon it was just me and him. Only then Ray was standing there with a smile on her face. Laughing, I wrapped my arm around her, keeping Rick's hand firmly in mine. Letting her go, I gently played with her hair. She just kept looking at me like she might never see me again.

"She needs rest, Ray." Rick finally told her.

"Right." She replied. "Right. I'll just go…find something to do."

"Help Hershel and Maggie. Make sure everything is getting done." I told her softly.

"Of course." She said hugging me again before she disappeared.

As soon as she was out of sight, Rick's arms were around my waist, pulling my back against his chest as he buried his face in my neck. Resting my face against his, I brought my hand up, slipping my fingers into his hair. Sighing contentedly, I turned in his arms, wrapping mine around his neck. Staring into his eyes, he was looking at me as if he were memorizing me. Smiling, I stared at his mouth. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so fucking bad. But I didn't. I may be out of the woods but that didn't mean I was completely healed. There was still a chance and I wasn't going to risk it until I'd had at least one more round of antibiotics. Maybe even two. I was never going to risk him. Not ever. He was too important.

"You should be resting." He told me, pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Mm-hm." I replied, shutting my eyes, leaning against his chest.

"Come on." He said softly, leading me back to my cell.

Lying down on the bunk, he opened his arm to me. Smiling, I laid down, pressing against his side, my head against his chest. He wrapped his arm around me, the hand of the other gripping my arm as I nestled as close to him as I could get. He trailed his fingers up and down my arm, pressing his lips to my forehead. Making a soft noise, I took a deep breath of him as I shut my eyes, ready to go to sleep. It didn't take long to fall asleep, even though I was more than happy to just lay with him. We hadn't been this close yet and it was nice, making me feel amazing and all I wanted to do was enjoy him. But I slept, sleeping harder than I had in quite a while.

When I woke up, I was alone, covered and warm. Sad that Rick left, I swung my feet over the edge, getting a feel of my body now that I'd slept some more. I actually felt pretty damn good. Getting up, I made my way back toward my home, ready to have my bunk and things. More than that I really wanted a fucking shower.

Making it to my cell without being stopped, I enjoyed the smiles and waves. Gathering my things, I was about to go to the showers but paused when I heard Daryl. He was pissed. Going up the stairs, he was being very short with Rick. Something that wasn't common and I had clearly missed something. Stepping up to them, they stopped, looking at me sadly.

"What's going on?" I smiled at them.

Rick met my eyes, shifting feet as he put his hand on his hips, "Linny, there's a few things I haven't told you yet."

"Okay." I frowned. "What is it?"

"Why don't you shower first and then we'll take a walk and I'll tell you."

Daryl looked pissed as hell.

"Tell me now." I told him, my smile gone.

"Linny." Rick said softly.

"Karen is dead." Daryl told me, making my eyes dart to him. "David, too."

"What?" I frowned. "She was in a different cell but…" Now my eyes were on Rick. "What happened?"

"Carol killed them and burned their bodies in one of the solitary exercise yards." He told me.

Shaking my head, anger and grief were starting to take hold. "I – I hadn't seen her or talked to her – in a – in a while." I said as I tried to process this. "She was sick and I didn't…" I looked up at Rick. "Where is Carol?"

"He took her to a residential area and just left her there." Daryl replied, waving his arm at Rick. "Like she doesn't even matter."

"She killed them?" I said trying to get my head around it. "And you took her away?"

"Yeah." Rick nodded.

"She's a part of the family, Rick." Daryl shot at him.

"She killed people. And she wasn't sorry." Rick stated.

Nodding, I turned and went down the steps, rushing to the showers, hearing both men say my name as I went. I simply held up my hand and moved as fast as I could. Tears were already in my eyes and I just needed to wash this all off of me. Pulling a curtain around me, I momentarily put my hands against the wall, taking deep breaths.

Carol killed Karen.

And she wasn't sorry.

It didn't make sense. Carol loved it here. She loved our family. She wouldn't have done it lightly. She had to have had a good reason. She would have done it for us. Starting the water, it didn't take long for Rick to appear, standing outside the curtain. He didn't say anything, he just stood there. As soon as I was done, I wrapped a towel around myself, swiftly moving back to my cell. He stood outside of it. I could see his silhouette through the sheet. Getting dressed, I reached through, taking his hand before pulling him inside.

"It's Carol, Rick." I stated with crossed arms. "Daryl is extremely close to her and you just sent her away?"

"She wasn't sorry, Linny. She would have kept killing people if she thought it would make a difference." He replied.

Nodding, I sighed and started to comb my hair out, braiding it over my shoulder. "I get it. I'm not entirely sorry that she's gone. But that's not the point. She's family. I just…she used to be so soft and kind and now she's hard and…dangerous."

"I couldn't have her under the same roof as my children." He replied. "I just…"

"I get it." I said taking his hand. "Daryl does, too. But it sucks."

"I know." He said and pulled me against him.

Gripping him tightly, I gently played with his hair, feeling him press his face into my neck. Taking his head in my hands, I ran my thumb across his bottom lip. He smiled at me, pulling me flush against him. Tipping my head back, I decided that it was his turn to make the decision as to kiss me or not. He simply smiled and leaned in, our lips brushing before we jumped, Rick's name being yelled.

He sighed, brushing my bangs out of my eyes, "We'll try again tonight."

Grinning, I nodded at him, "I'd like that."

"You can be in charge of setting the mood." He told me, smacking my ass lightly as he walked away.

My heart was racing and it took all of me not to run after him. It had been a long time since I felt like this. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to be uninterrupted and just…perfect. So I would find some good smelling candles and make Ray keep watch so we weren't interrupted. She would hate it but I could guilt her into it. I had no doubt of that.

Thinking of Daryl, I strapped my knife to my thigh, feeling the need to have a weapon with me. Leaving my cell, I went back upstairs to his. He was sitting there looking more sad than I'd ever seen. He was a good man. He didn't get attached to people often and now the one person he was closest to was gone.

"Daryl?" I said softly.

"Go away." He replied coldly.

"No." I told him, sitting next to him.

He scoffed and stood, starting to pace, "You didn't even like her."

"She wasn't my favorite but I didn't hate her and don't want her to be gone. But she did something horrible, Daryl. Do you expect her to just be forgiven after she murdered two of our own?"

"No." He replied softly. "It just…"

"Sucks." I finished for him. "I know, Daryl. But Rick wasn't in the wrong. He's wrong about a lot of things but not this."

"I know." He replied, gently playing with my braid.

Running my fingers through his hair, I pressed my forehead to his, "I love you, Daryl. Don't go disappearing on me now."

"I won't." He told me.

It was a nice moment, interrupted as an explosion made the prison shake. Looking at each other, we were on our feet and rushing outside. Rick and Tyreese were rushing toward us, too. Sasha and Carl as well. Gripping Carl, I looked out seeing a group of people outside the fences. There were trucks and a fucking tank. My blood ran cold and I took in the one man we knew.

"Oh my god." I said softly.

"Rick! Come down here. We need to talk." The Governor called up to us.

Rick looked at the others then met my eyes before turning back, "It's not up to me! There's a council now, they run this place!"

"Is Hershel on the council? What about Michonne? Is she on the council, too?"

"Rick." I said stepping closer to the fence, seeing Michonne and Hershel be brought out and put on their knees.

"I don't make decisions anymore!" Rick yelled.

"You're making the decisions today, Rick!" He called back. "Come down here. Let's have that talk."

Rick turned to his son, "We can do this. All right?" He looked at me, putting his hand against my face, "All right?"

"You're not going alone." I told him.

He nodded, taking my hand briefly before we walked down to the field. I was glued to his side, looking in every direction. I kept touching my knife, wishing that I had a gun on me. Rick had his, that was something and it would have to be enough.

"Let 'em go right now. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let 'em go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages." Rick told him.

My eyes kept moving from Hershel to Michonne, fear flooding my system. I was shaking only it was more out of anger than of fear. If the Governor wanted to go for round two than fine. We won against him once already, we could do it again.

"I do. This is just to show you I'm serious." The Governor told him. "Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here or they die."

"I don't think so." I said finally looking at him.

"It doesn't have to go down this way." Rick added.

"I got more people. More fire power. We need this prison. There it is. It's not about the past. It's about right now." He told us.

"There are children here. Some of them are sick. They won't survive." Rick told him pleadingly.

"I have a tank. And I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about?"

"We beat you once, we can do it again." I told him. "This is our home and we will defend it."

"Caroline." He smiled down at me. "How the hell are you still alive?"

"By fighting like hell."

He laughed, "It's funny how you survived and no one else did. Not Shumpert. Not Caesar."

Anger was flooding me, making me want to jerk forward. Rick gripped my wrist, looking so unsure of what to do next.

"I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that." The Governor went on. "But we'll win and you'll be dead. All of you. Doesn't have to be like that. Like I said, it's your choice.

Walkers were starting to come out of the woods. The Governor shot them, using too many shots.

"Noise will only draw more of them over. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get out of here. You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packing." He told us, but we just stood there. Rick was starting to freak out. "The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for you to get out of here."

"We're not leaving." I shot at him.

"We can all – we can all live together. There's enough room for all of us." Rick told him.

"More than enough. I don't think my family would sleep well knowing that you were under the same roof."

"You killed your family." I told him coldly.

Rick put his arm around the front of me. "We live in different cell blocks. We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready."

Hershel spoke next, his voice calm and gentle. His voice was always so comforting. "It could work. You know it could."

"It could've. But it can't. Not after Woodbury. Not after Andrea."

"You said it wasn't about the past!" I hollered at him.

"Linny." Michonne said softly.

I shook my head at her, putting my hand against Rick's shoulder. He looked at me before the Governor. "Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don't think we have a choice."

"We don't. You do."

"We're not leaving. You try and force us, we'll fight back. Like you said, the gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison or none of us can."

Proud of him, I nodded, watching as the Governor jumped down from the tank and took Michonne's sword, stepping up to Hershel.

"Hershel." I whispered.

"We'll fix the damn fences." The Governor muttered.

"Don't." I told him.

Rick was looking panicked, trying to stop this from happening, turning to the people he'd come with. They didn't have to do this. If they didn't stand behind him then we could end this. All they had to do was stop him.

"You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want? Is this what any of you want?" Rick asked a young woman. She looked terrified.

"What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, assholes." The guy in the tank hollered down at us.

"Fuck you." I shot back at him.

"Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates…you're one of us." Rick told them. Some of them looked like they were actually listening to him. "We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know…we all can change."

Slipping my hand into his, I smiled up at him, looking at Hershel to see a proud expression on his face. Smiling at him, I was still holding his eyes when the Governor pulled back the sword, sliding it into Hershel's neck. A scream broke from me and I scrambled forward, gripping the fence as I watched him fall to the side, blood spilling from him.

"No!" Rick screamed from behind me.

He fired at the Governor, hitting his arm as the others started to shoot. Michonne rolled away, attempting to take cover. I didn't have a gun. I couldn't even avenge Hershel as he squirmed to get away from his murderer. My arm was gripped and I was yanked backward, finding Rick's arm around me as we ran from the gunfire. Rick cried out, falling as a bullet tore through the side of his leg. Holding tight to him, I looked over my shoulder as the tank came bursting through the gates, those on foot following, firing against us.

Taking Rick's gun, I turned and shot as many as I could. One snuck up behind me, hitting me hard, making me fall to the side. Rick picked up his gun as I dropped it. Punching the man who hit me, I pulled my knife free, thrusting it up and into his brain. Taking the handgun that was on him, I turned back to Rick only to find him gone.

"Rick!" I called but I couldn't see him.

Being tackled to the ground, I shot them pointblank in the head, rolling and shooting another. They were pouring into the field only it wasn't just the people anymore but walkers as well. Firing all the bullets I had, I started to run back toward the prison. I need to get the kids out of here. The bus was our backup plan and we needed to get everyone onto it and it needed to get as far from here as possible.

Running, I slid, falling backward as I saw Rick and the Governor. Rick was losing. He was getting the shit beat out of him. Panic filled me as I watched in horror. Attempting to race over to him, I was clotheslined, completely flipping, land awkwardly on my side. Then I was being kicked, seeing the barrel of a gun in my face. In the next second his head was missing and I looked up to see Michonne running past me. I got to my feet, darting forward, watching as she put her sword through the Governor's back, the tip sticking out of his chest. Pushing myself harder, I finally reach Rick, dropping to my knees next to him.

"Rick." I said as I took his head in my hands. His breathing was labored. "Rick." I repeated, my voice thick with emotions as tears filled my eyes. He gently gripped my wrist, nodding at me. Nodding back, I stood and threw my arms around Michonne, hugging her tightly. "Thank God." I told her softly, taking her head in my hands. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

Smiling, I nodded back, hugging her tightly before turning back to Rick. "We gotta move." He nodded; putting his arm around my shoulders I moved mine around his waist. Hoisting him to his feet, Michonne disappeared, seeing her walking toward the fighting. "Michonne!"

She didn't even look at me. Rick stumbled, nearly taking me to the ground with him. He leaned into me, hunching over. His breathing was horrid, blood was still falling, and we were still surrounded by enemies and walkers. Attempting to bounce him higher against my side, he gasped, dropping to his knees. Dropping next to him, I lifted his shirt so I could see his side. It was already discolored and spreading around him. They were more than likely broken or fractured, definitely heavily and painfully bruised. Hearing a growl, my head snapped up and I stood, killing the walker before putting Rick's arm around me again.

"Rick, move." I told him attempting to get him up. "Please, Rick." Yanking him onto his feet, I cried out as my muscles started to shake, my back pulsing with pain. Looking around, all hell had broken loose. Our home was being destroyed. "Damn it."

"Carl!" Rick yelled, the name jumbled from the blood and swelling. He leaned hard against me, "Where is he?"

"We'll find him." I stated, putting my hand against his face so he looked at me. "I promise you, we'll find him."

"Linny." He said with tears in his eyes.

I smiled at him, "I know, baby. But we're gonna be okay."

He pressed his forehead to mine for a moment and then we were moving. It wasn't just Carl that we needed to fine. We needed to find Judith and Ray and everyone else. Where was Daryl? Maggie? Glenn? Sasha? Tyreese? Everyone? We needed our family.

Looking around, the tank had done a good job at bringing the prison down. There were bodies and rubble everywhere. Walkers were starting to wander inside. We were in trouble. We made it to the courtyard, both of us now yelling for our kids. No one came, but then I heard my name being screamed from inside.

"Ray." I said as my heart started to pound against my chest. Stepping away from Rick I took his head in my hands, "Rick, I have to go to her."

"Linny." He said with wide eyes as he gripped my shirt.

"I know." I told him. "Find Carl and Judith. I'll be right back."

"Promise – promise me." He frowned, gripping my shirt tighter.

Staring into his eyes, I nodded, "I promise you, Rick. I promise."

He reluctantly let me go, nodding, "Go."

He was hurt. His voice was hoarse from the Governor's hands being around it. He was broken and bleeding and scared. I didn't want to leave him. Taking his head in my hands, I rubbed his cheeks. He gently gripped my wrist and I could feel him shaking. Hearing Ray scream my name again, I pulled away from him, quickly turning and running. If I didn't run than I wouldn't be able to leave him.

Racing into the prison, I almost immediately ran into a walker, its boney fingers gripping me. Freeing my knife, I stabbed it up through its chin, yanking it free and watched it slump to the ground. Yelling out to her, I heard her name above me, looking up to see her pinned to the wall as she kept pushing against three walkers. The look of terror on her face was enough to make me fly. Striking down two more, I raced for the stairs. My ankle was grabbed but I freed myself, kicking its head against the step until it broke open, spilling its brains down the stairs.

Rushing up them, I shoved a walker over the railing, making it to the top and darted around the corner. Coming up behind them, one turned, its teeth snapping next to my shoulder before I stabbed it. The other two were turning toward me but I swiftly killed the pair of them. Looking at Ray, I grinned at her. She just smiled, laughing lightly as she shook her head at me.

"Take my hand if you want to live." I told her, holding my hand out to her.

"Seriously?" She laughed. "Terminator?"

"Shut up. Let's go." I shot back at her. "And the Terminator is awesome."

She reached out for me, her fingers touching mine, but before she could grip it a walker fell forward out of a cell, tangled in a sheet, slamming into me and sent us both over the railing. Ray screamed and for the briefest of moments I felt air, then I slammed into the ground, pain searing through my left shoulder, making a scream tear from my throat. Scrambling away from it, my eyes were darting around for my knife.

"Linny!" Ray yelled and then a knife was falling toward me.

Gripping it, I stabbed it under the chin, seeing the blade as it passed through its eye. "Take that you son of a bitch." I told it with gritted teeth.

Momentarily lying back, gripping my shoulder, my vision speckled. Then Ray was there, pulling on my good arm.

"We gotta go." She told me.

Nodding, I got up, gripping my knife as she handed it to me, taking up hers. Leaning into her, we moved toward the door. My shoulder was screaming with pain. Looking down, I could see a circular bulge in my skin. Feeling on the verge of tears, my mind immediately went to Rick and his kids. I needed to find them.

Leaving the prison, walkers were storming and Rick was not where I'd left him. Frantically looking around, I attempted to move from Ray's side. "Rick!" I screamed.

"We need to go." Ray told me.

"Not without him." I said meeting her eyes, feeling the fear coming off of me in waves.

She looked at me sadly, "We can't stay here, Caroline. We need to leave. He wouldn't have stayed."

Tears welled and I stared at her with wide eyes, "I promised him. I promised I would come back."

She smiled, brushing my bangs out of my eyes, "We'll find him, Caroline."

Nodding, I took a deep breath, then I was shoving her with my bad arm, stabbing a walker through its temple. "Let's go."

Moving away from the walkers and what was left of the Governor's people, we didn't come across anyone from our group. At least none that were alive. We'd lost many. Too many. Tears threatened and I stumbled, falling to one knee as I watched a walker eating the people I had gotten to know and care about. Ray was stronger right now, yanking me back onto my feet, a cry escaping me as my shoulder shifted.

Making it to the trees, we kept moving until there was no sound around us. Finally stopping, I dropped to my knees, my arm resting in front of me. It made it feel mildly better. Ray paced back and forth, listening for anything that might be following us. Shutting my eyes, my mind was reeling from everything that happened. We had just gotten over a fucking pandemic and then the Governor fucking showed up. Hershel was dead. Rick was hurt and missing. Tears filled and fell, streaming down my face as I screamed, letting out all my grief. Michonne left. I had no idea where Maggie and Glenn were. I was weak and hurt. What the hell were we supposed to do now?

Looking up at Ray, emotion was spilling from her but she was trying her hardest to keep it all in. I knew that I couldn't make her be the adult here. She needed me and I needed to be what she needed. Taking deep breaths, I stood and looked at her, gripping her arm.

"I'm sorry. We're going to be okay." I told her. She simply nodded at me. "We will, Ray. We will find the others and we will be okay."

"Okay." She nodded. Turning to a tree, I lined my shoulder up to it, taking a slow deep breath. "What are you doing?"

"My shoulder is dislocated." I told her. "I need to pop it back into place."

"Caroline." She said with shock.

Looking at her, she had grown a shade paler. "Do you want to pop it back in for me?" I smiled at her. She frantically shook her head. Laughing lightly, I nodded, "Didn't think so."

Taking another deep breath, she clamped her hands over her ears, shutting her eyes and spun away from me. Building up the strength to do what I had to do, I ran the few steps and slammed my shoulder into the tree. Screaming bloody murder, I spun from the force of it, ending up on my back. Looking at my shoulder, it had moved but it wasn't quite in the socket yet.

"Goddamn it." I said and got to my feet.

Attempting it a second time, I just didn't have the energy to use as much force as I needed to. I ended up on the ground, screaming as pain filled my entire being. Tears were streaming from the corners of my eyes. Ray was still standing there with her eyes shut and her hands clamped over her ears. Seeing a walker moving toward her, I got to my feet, slowly walking to it, stabbing it through its eye socket. Looking around, walkers were staring to gather, making me deflate, knowing that we had to move.

Gripping Ray, she looked at me before my shoulder. Shaking my head, I sighed, starting to walk. Keeping an eye over my shoulder, the walkers were coming but we were still moving twice as fast as they were. Both of us were quiet as we walked. Ray kept watching me, and I couldn't blame her. I felt like crap. My shoulder was throbbing, my head was pounding, and my stomach was turning. Stumbling, I tried to get back up but I simply stumbled again.

"Linny." Ray said swiftly moving to me, kneeling in front of me.

"I need to rest." I told her, putting my hand on her leg.

She nodded, "Okay."

Attempting to shift my shoulder, the pain that shot through my made my vision speckle and I leaned over, throwing up bile onto the grass. "Ray, I need you to help me."

"What?" She said with a shocked expression. "No. I can't."

"You can." I told her. "I need you to."

"No, Linny."

"Ray." I said putting my hand against her face. "I really, really need you right now. I need you to help me pop it back in. I'm just going to get worse and my arm will never be the same. I need you to help me. I need you, Ray." She looked at me for a long moment before she finally nodded. "Thank you." I told her with relief.

Looking around, for now the coast was clear. I knew it wasn't going to stay that way so we had to do this as quickly as possible. Slowly stretching my arm out, I could feel bone against bone. It was almost there. It wouldn't need a lot of help to pop back into place.

"What do I do?" She asked nervously.

"Grip my arm as high as you can and still get a firm hold. With your other hand I need you to put it against my ball joint and kind of guide it into place."

She furrowed her brows, shaking her head, "What?"

"You have to pull on my arm with one and guide with the other."

She just frowned harder at me, "What?"

Laughing lightly, I smiled at her, "You can do this, Ray. I believe –" I was cut off as she yanked my arm, feeling the bone pop back into place. "Oh my god that's amazing." I told her, shutting my eyes. "Thank you."

She fell onto her back next to me, "I can't believe I did that."

"You did good." I smiled at her, gently probing my shoulder. There was still some pain but it was ten times better than it was. "Now I just have to try and be nice to it for a while."

She laughed, "Like hell that's going to happen."

Laughing with her, I nodded, "I know." Hearing a growl, I tilted my head back to see a walker staggering toward us. "Time to go."

She got to her feet and helped me to mine, putting her arm around me as we started to move again. The pain had diminished to a dull throb, making it far more tolerable. Able to use it more as well, as the walkers started to close in on us, I was able to kill them without hindrance. Together we made an effective team, taking down as many as we possibly could before we started to run again.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay! I am usually far better at updating than I have been for this story. I will attempt to do better in the future! Hope you are all still enjoying it! Lots of story left to tell!**


	24. Separated

**Chapter Twenty-four: Separated**

Run. Keep running. It was all we could do to stay ahead of them. We ran as fast as we could for as long as we could. Only, we got winded. They didn't. Soon our breathing grew labored and our legs felt like they were turning to Jell-O. To top it off, we were starting to smell just as bad as the dead. Something that might actually benefit us. Our bodies were covered blood and guts. It seemed as if for every walker we killed three more would appear. We had attempted to take to the trees and let them just pass us by but it wasn't working. Their numbers simply grew and we had no choice but to get back onto the ground and keep running. It was exhausting.

"I can't run any more." Ray told me, taking heaving breaths as she shook next to me, both of us on our knees.

"I know, sweetie, but we gotta go." I told her.

"I can't, Linny." She cried.

Looking over my shoulder there were easily a dozen still moving toward us. Putting my hand against her shoulder, I got to my feet, "We don't have a choice."

Pulling her onto her feet, we started to move again. Walking as quickly as we could, they seemed to be gaining ground. If only we could find a road or a sign of our family. But there had been nothing. It made me terrified that the worst had happened. We didn't see anyone escape but we also hadn't seen any bodies. They were alive. They had to be.

It was a few hours later when we finally stopped. The woods were quiet and for now we appeared to be alone. Falling to our knees, Ray fell to her stomach, crying into the ground. Putting my hand against her back, it only fueled her tears.

"Quiet, Ray. We don't want to attract anything." I told her softly.

She nodded and pushed herself onto her knees, looking at me, "What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know." I told her. "We just need to keep going and we need to find Rick and the others."

"What if they're dead?" She asked.

"They're not dead." I frowned at her. "They got out of there."

She nodded, "I know you care about Rick but, what are the chances that he made it?"

"What are the chances that we made it?" I frowned harder. "They aren't dead, Ray. I won't believe it until I see it."

"Okay." She told me.

"Get up." I commanded. "We need to keep moving. Find a road or anything that will lead us to our family."

She nodded and got up. We walked until the sun started to set, telling me that we needed to make camp before we lost enough light to see by. Stopping Ray, meeting her eyes, she nodded and we started to look for anything that might keep us covered or at least offer a way to detect if they were getting close.

"We have nothing to use as an alarm system." Ray stated when we'd both failed at coming up with something.

"I know." I shot at her.

"Then what should we do?" She asked. Looking at her, I sighed, shrugging before I looked up into the trees. "Seriously?"

"It's the only fool proof thing I can think of." I told her.

"It already failed." She replied.

"I know!" I yelled at her. "I know, Ray! I do. I know that it failed. But I am lost on what to do next. Our home has been destroyed. Hershel – Hershel is dead. Our family is scattered and we aren't doing very well."

"I need you to tell me what to do!" She yelled at me. "You've done this before. You've lived in the woods. You know how to survive."

Tears sprang to my eyes and I shifted back and forth as I shook my head at her, "I don't know what to do this time, Ray. I just – I don't know what to do."

She was to me faster than I thought she could be. "Get a grip, Caroline!"

Scoffing, I paced away from her, "Is it so hard to you to get that I don't always have the answers? I'm not god, Ray! I don't have all the answers and we have nothing. _Nothing_." She just looked at me. "Look, we're both exhausted. Night is coming and we need to find a tree that will allow us to get some sleep. We'll take shifts."

She was mad at me. I couldn't blame her and yet I needed her to support me right now. I was hurt and scared and I didn't have all the answers. I wanted to find Rick and the others. I wanted to keep moving until we found somebody. _Anybody_. But so far that wasn't happening. We had each other and we had no idea how long we would be on our own. We couldn't fight each other. Not now. Not if we wanted to survive.

Sitting around the small fire, my shoulder was dully throbbing, shooting off sharp pains if I attempted to move it too much. Ray was sitting across from me, her face sullen, emotion filling her eyes. I didn't know what to say to her. We were stuck out here and I had no idea what we going to do. I needed to find Rick. I needed to find Michonne. Daryl. Maggie and Glenn. I needed my family.

"What are we gonna do, Linny?" She asked softly.

"I don't know." I replied.

There was a short pause before she repeated, "What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know, Ray." I shot at her. "I already told you. I don't have all the answers."

We were both quiet and for a long time we just stared at the fire. I'd already found a tree that looked wide enough to make falling off unlikely. Making the decision, I told her to keep the fire going while I attempted to find us something to eat. Moving as silently as possible, I came across a few rabbits but they moved too quickly for me. Looking up, a squirrel was pitching a fit, its tail going crazy as he chattered at me. Taking out my knife, I gripped the blade, staring up at it. It wasn't as afraid as it should be. Tossing it, it grazed the animal's rear, sending it to the ground but didn't kill it. Racing after it, I slid from side to side, slamming into the ground more often than I would have liked, finally gripping it. It gnawed violently on the outside of my wrist before I gripped its head and snapped its neck.

Sitting on my heels, I held it in my hands, tears once again in my eyes. My shoulder was screaming and all I could think about was Rick and Daryl. The days spent with snares or hunting. I knew what to do but without them I just felt a little defeated and helpless. I knew what I needed to do and I had to get over it and be what I needed to be for Ray. Taking a deep breath, attempting to will the pain away, I searched for my knife, finally finding it before I returned to Ray.

"I was getting worried." She told me anxiously. "Thought you might have left me."

"Never, sweetie." I frowned, going to her. "I will never leave you."

She nodded, "Okay."

Pressing a kiss into her hair, I set to finding sticks to cook the squirrel on. As soon as I had, I skinned it, cleaning it out before skewering it onto the stick. It seemed to take forever for the small mammal to cook. I turned it and check it and would have eaten it raw had I not been worried about the ramifications. When it was finally done, I ripped it in half, giving the bigger end to Ray. She simply smiled and took it.

"This reminds me of the summers my family and I rented cabins on the lake." I told her. "We made s'mores every night."

"I don't like marshmallows." Ray stated.

"Me, neither." I replied. "But it was still nice." She nodded. "What about you? Did your family make s'mores?"

"No." She replied. "I was spoiled and ungrateful. Even when the world fell apart I made my parents feel guilty. It got my father killed. Then my mother." She scoffed and looked at me. "I'll probably get you killed, too."

"No, you won't." I smiled at her. "You're stuck with me for a good long while."

She smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"No, really, Linny." She said making me look at her. "Thank you. You saved me. You've taken care of me. I didn't think I'd ever have that. Not in a motherly type way."

"I know." I smiled. "But you do, Ray. You have me. And I'm not going to let anything happen to you." The air between us felt better.

"How's your shoulder?" She asked.

"It's fine." I lied, forcing a small smile for her. "You worked a miracle on it."

She scoffed and shook her head, but she smiled at me, "I'm just awesome like that."

Laughing lightly, I nodded, "You really are."

"You should sleep." She replied.

"There is no way in hell I am sleeping. You go ahead." I replied.

"You've been up for hours."

"I know."

"So sleep."

"You sound like Rick." I smirked.

"He's a smart man." She replied. I nodded, swallowing a lump in my throat. "He's okay, Linny. He'll be okay. We'll find him."

I nodded, "I know."

"You don't." She nodded. "But you can't grieve him yet. You don't know that he's dead. He's just…lost. We all are."

I couldn't help the tears in my eyes, smiling at her, "I want to be found."

Dropping my head into my hand, I started to cry. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to show her that everything was going to be okay. But I couldn't. Not right now. I just needed a moment of weakness. Hearing her move, she sat next to me, wrapping her arm around me, and gently rubbed my back as I cried. It didn't take long for her cries to join mine as she pressed her face into my shoulder.

When I finally calmed down, I wrapped my arm around her, letting her cry. She eventually fell asleep and I sat there, listening for trouble, hoping to give her a least a few hours before I was forced to wake her. It was well into the night when she woke up, both of us moving to the tree I had decided to sleep in. Climbing into its branches, I laid across a branch on my stomach, Ray sitting with her back against the trunk of it. Watching her briefly, I shut my eyes, swiftly falling asleep.

Waking up, I felt rested. There I had been no nightmares and there was something familiar and comforting about sleeping in a tree. I'd done plenty of that when I had been on my own. Hoisting Moz up with me. He was better at moving from branch to branch than I was. He was amazing. Remembering him was comforting. He had been such a good dog.

Sitting up, I stretched, reaching my arms high above my head. My shoulder complained but it didn't hurt as bad as it had last night. Smiling, feeling pretty damn good, I turned, opening my mouth to say something to Ray, only to find her gone. Frowning, I looked in every direction, listening, but there was nothing.

Dropping from the tree, I looked at the ground, searching for the direction she may have gone. Squatting, I shifted leaves, smiling before moving away from our little camp. Finding a stream, I saw a foot impression on the other side. Kneeling, I drank my fill, splashing water on my face and neck. Submerging my hand in the water, I didn't remove it until it was turning numb, putting it against my shoulder. There was a lot of heat and it felt so fucking good. Doing it twice more, I finally stood and jumped to the other side, continuing to follow my kid.

Hearing something, I stopped, listening. It was running. Definitely running. Turning toward the sound, Ray was rushing toward me, terror written across her face. Frowning, I started to rush toward her, only she raised her hand to stop me. Skidding to a stop, there was a raspy sound, making me pull my knife free.

"What the hell, Ray?" I asked her softly.

"I found a hoard." She replied, pulling on me.

"Let go, let go, let go." I told her as quietly as possible. She did. "Bad shoulder." I frowned.

"Sorry." She replied.

"It's fine." I stated. "Let's just get out of here."

Running, the sounds weren't going away. The walkers were everywhere. I hadn't heard anything. Nothing had happened that would draw them together. It didn't make any sense. But here we were, running through an ever shrinking pathway of walkers, seeing them closing in. Running faster, both of us were breathing hard, my legs already burning.

"We're not gonna make it." Ray said with fear.

"Yes we are." I told her with determination.

Feeling fingers against my shoulder, I spun, stabbing it without losing a step. Passing behind Ray, I stabbed another one, making sure she wasn't touched. Darting back and forth, I made sure Ray was safe from the danger that was starting to come at us from all sides. Seeing a break in the hoard, I gripped her, practically yanking her off her feet. Sprinting forward, we both felt air as we found ourselves running downhill. Scrambling up the other side, I knew that they would be behind us but the hill would slow them down. Running further, the woods were starting to grow quiet, finally making us slow and stop. Both of us bent over, our hands on our knees as we took deep breaths.

Looking at her, I started to laugh, "We fucking made it out of there."

She laughed with me, "Honestly didn't see that happening."

We laughed louder before we started to move. Only then something caught my eye, making me freeze. "Ray."

"What?" She said and started to look around.

It was as if everything was moving in slow motion. The walkers weaving in and out of the trees. Passing in and out of sight like ghosts. "Ray."

"Linny." She said and I could see the panic on her face.

"Run." I said, pushing her as we started to move.

Racing through the trees, something felt different about this. Why the hell was there so many of them? Was it because of the prison? Had what happened drawn so much attention? I thought we'd outrun the hoard. There was a break. Nothing about this made any sense. They never swarmed like this. They didn't gather on things. Something happened. Something else happened and that was why they were here. There was no other explanation. None.

"Linny." Ray said with panic in her eyes.

"Get down!" I yelled, swinging my knife as she dropped to the ground, slicing into a walker head. Gripping her, I practically tossed her away from me. "Run, Ray!"

"Linny, no!" Ray yelled as she got to her feet.

I stabbed several walkers before I faced her, "Get out of here!"

"Not without you!" She yelled.

I cut down more, turning to her, "Please, Ray. Live!"

Looking at her for only a second, I focused on the walkers again, knowing that this was the moment where I would die. I kept thinking of Rick, hating myself for never kissing him. God how I wish I'd just kissed him. But now I would never know what it felt like. But Ray would be alive. She would tell him. Just for a moment I could imagine her alive and having found out family, smiling and happy and safe. That was all I really wanted.

In the last second, my shoulder was grabbed and I was yanked backward, falling hard. Screaming as pain shot through my arm, I watched as Ray stabbed a walker, terror filling me as I watched a walker bite into her shoulder. Screaming in agony, I got to my feet, my arm nearly being bitten before I yanked it back.

"Ray!" I screamed.

She turned her head and looked at me, blood spilling from her, a smile on her face, "Find him, Linny. Be happy. God knows you deserve it."

" _Ray!_ " I screamed.

"Go, Linny." She said as another started to tear into her neck. "RUN!"

Getting to my feet, I staggered backward, darting around a few walkers before I sprinted away from her. There was no sound coming behind me. She didn't scream. She didn't say anything. Running, my breathing loud in my ears, I wanted to stop and cry and scream but I couldn't get my legs to stop moving. One step after another I just kept running and running and running. There was nothing I could do. It should have been me. I should have died. It should have been me. It was supposed to be me.

Finally stopping, fell to my knees, I screamed on the top of my lungs. Screaming until it felt like my throat was tearing in two. Screaming until no sound would come out of my mouth. She was gone. Ray was gone. My kid was gone. I was supposed to watch over her. I was supposed to protect her. I promised her mother that I would. I was willing to give my life to make sure that she kept hers but…she didn't let me. She should have let me. There were so many things we never said. Things that I should have told her, taught her, showed her. There was supposed to be more time.

Sobbing, I fell to the side, curling into myself as grief once again folded me in its tight embrace. Filling my entire being as I grieved the loss of someone I loved. I loved her. She may have driven me crazy but that was family. She was family and now she was gone. I was once again lying on the ground, waiting for death to take me. Once again not caring if I lived or died. Death was the easy way out. There were better ways to make me suffer. Let me get bit. Let me turn.

Crying myself to sleep, I woke up shuddering, night having fallen around me. Uncurling myself, my body ached. Rolling onto my back, I stared at the sky, tears filling and falling from the corners of my eyes. Forcing myself to get up, my shoulder was throbbing, my head once again pounding, my chest feeling tight and painful. I felt like shit. The worst part was that I was utterly alone.

I was alone.

Starting to move, I staggered forward, not able to see anything. If a walker came for me now than I would be done for. I was almost wishing for it to happen. End my misery. End the curse of everyone I've ever cared about getting hurt because of me. I knew that it wasn't _me_ but I still seemed to be more unscathed then them. Where was everyone? Why couldn't I just wake up from this nightmare? I would give anything to just go back to my boring little life in my boring little apartment and my underappreciated job. I just wanted to rewind time. I was okay with being alone then. I thrived on being alone. But now? I hated it. I couldn't stand how alone I felt. I had a family. I had found people who I loved who loved me back. I had people and now I had no one.

I had no one.

When dawn broke, I was still moving, staggering forward, shifting from side to side. It took several minutes to realize that I wasn't alone. Walkers were flanking me on both sides, behind me, and in front of me. There were few enough that I felt like I could get out of here if I needed to. If I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I simply kept walking, even bumping into a few as we all swerved in and out of the trees. I must have looked and smelled horrible if I was still alive. I didn't feel alive.

Stopping at a stream, I started to drink from it. I was thirsty and my body was running on autopilot, making me do things that didn't matter to me. Life. Death. None of it mattered anymore. Sitting on my heels, I was staring at my reflection. I really did look like hell. Blood and body parts were covering me. My hair was crusty and greasy and gross. My eyes looked sunken. I was so sick of looking like I had more in common with the dead than the living. Sighing, I glanced up, doing a double take as I saw someone standing across from me.

"Michonne?" I frowned, not sure if I was hallucinating or not.

"Caroline?" She replied as if thinking the same thing as me.

Then I was moving, stumbling in the stream, falling into it before I managed to make it across, staggering to my feet and threw my arms around her neck. We both started to sob, gripping each other as tightly as possible. Pulling her away from me, I took her head in my hands, just staring at her.

"I thought you were dead." She told me.

Laughing lightly, I nodded, "I did, too. But I hoped that you and the others made it out of there." She nodded. "Have you been alone this whole time?"

She nodded again, "I found tracks but I didn't follow them."

"When?" I asked frantically. "Where?"

"A side road a ways back." She replied. "Have you been alone?" Tears started to flow again as I shook my head at her. "Rick?" She asked. I shook my head. "Ray?" I nodded. "Where is she?" I just shook my head and started to sob again.

She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me as tightly as humanly possible. When walkers started to notice us, she wrapped her arm around my waist and started to lead me in a different direction. Following her, I still felt very detached from the world, stumbling more often than not.

The sun had barely started to go down when she stopped, looking around for a place to camp. Frowning, I watched her, trying to figure out what she might be thinking. There was a lot of day left and if she had found tracks I wanted to get to our family as soon as possible. We didn't have time to stop.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"You need to rest." She told me.

"I'll rest when we find the others." I frowned at her. "We need to keep moving."

She looked at me with a sad expression. "Caroline, you just lost your kid. You need to rest."

"She wanted me to run!" I yelled at her. "She wanted me to find Rick!"

"Linny." She said sadly. I was shaking and tears were falling down my cheeks again. "Let's just stop. We'll find them in the morning."

Nodding, I dropped in front of a tree, leaning against it. Staring at her as she made a small fire, I was so happy to see her and yet all I could think of was Ray. She had been trying to help and now she was dead. Her only mistake was running into too many walkers and the result was death. She was dead.

"It should have been me." I whispered to myself though it was out loud. "It should have been me."

Michonne stepped up to me, taking my hands, "Caroline."

I lifted my eyes and met hers, "It should have been me, Michonne. I was ready to die. I was going to save her but she wouldn't let me."

She smiled, running her hand down my hair. "She saved you instead."

I furrowed my brows at her, "It should have been me."

"She wouldn't have wanted that. You were everything to her." She replied.

"And she wasn't everything to me." I frowned at her. "She wasn't, Michonne. I have you and Rick and Maggie and Daryl. I have people but she only had me. She died for me."

"You would have died for her." Michonne replied sadly. "You would of."

"Would you have looked after her?" I asked.

"Of course." She told me.

I nodded, "She shouldn't have done what she did."

Michonne just sighed, running her hand down my hair. Lowering my eyes, I simply stared at the ground. She shouldn't have died for me. She was just a child. I'd lived. I'd fought and I was ready to die for her. Instead she made a rash and stupid decision. She killed herself to spare me. Why would she do that?

 _Find him, Linny. Be happy._

She thought I deserved it. I didn't deserve it. Not if this was the cost. She deserved it. She'd been through so much. She was the one who deserved happiness. I had been so hard on her, wanting her to be able to survive in this world. I wanted her to survive. I'd done my part. I'd already survived. I passed it on. She could have lived. But she didn't. She died.

"Here." Michonne said holding out a piece of the squirrel she'd just cooked. I shook my head at her. "Linny, you need to eat something. Build up your strength." I shook my head again. "She would want you to eat."

Meeting her eyes for a long moment, I finally nodded and took the food, eating it slowly. We were quiet after that. She ate and kept watch, letting me doze in and out, unable to stay asleep for very long. It was late when I finally stood and told her to get some sleep. She didn't hesitate, trusting me enough to shut her eyes and relax. She shouldn't. I couldn't be trusted. All I did was bring death to the people in my life.

Pacing, I was finally starting to piss myself off. It wasn't my fault. I had no control over the walkers or those who came to destroy us. I didn't let her wander off and lead those walkers back to us. I didn't have any power and yet I still felt like it was my fault. I should have done more. I should have been more prepared. I should have. I just – I just should have.

Waking Michonne as soon as it was light enough to see our surroundings, we started to move again. Not saying anything, Michonne was itching to break the silence. All I wanted to do was find Rick. He was my focus now. Ray was gone. I had Michonne. The next person I needed was Rick. Along with Carl and Judith. I needed to find him. I needed him. I needed them.

"What happened, Linny?" She finally asked me.

"No, Michonne." I frowned at her.

"Please?"

"Why?" I shot at her. "Why do you want to know? She's dead. It happened. It should have been me. What else is there to say?"

"It might help." She stated.

"No." I told her, shaking my head. "Just…no."

"Okay." She nodded at me. "I'm here whenever you're ready."

"I know." I told her, softening my tone. "I know you are, Michonne. Just like I'm here for you if you need anything."

"I know." She smiled.

Smiling back, I nodded at her, gently nudging her. "Thanks."

She led me back to the road where she'd seen the tracks. Both of us took them in, looking at each other before starting to follow them. Now that we had purpose, I was focusing so hard on finding them, picking up the pace as we kept moving. Both of us had our eyes on the ground, making sure we were still on track. Up ahead, there was a strip of houses, making me practically start to run, finding a giant can of chocolate pudding lying in the road. Picking it up, it was empty.

"They're here." I said and rushed to the house closest to me.

"Linny."

"Look." I told her.

Moving from house to house, we peered inside hoping with all of us to find our family. Feeling discouraged, I turned to look at Michonne, seeing her standing in front of a window, grinning and crying. My stomach turned and then I was moving. Rushing to her, I practically ran into her as I looked inside, seeing both Rick and Carl. Immediately starting to cry, I threw my arms around her neck, laughing and sobbing before going to the door. She beat me to it, knocking on it lightly. It took a long moment, hearing things being moved before the door opened. Carl immediately had his arms around Michonne, hugging her tightly. Then his eyes were on me. Grinning at him, he simply nodded and looked back inside.

"It's for you, too." He told his father.

There was a long pause before Rick stepped into view, meeting my eyes.

"Hi, Rick." I beamed at him.


	25. Reunited

**Chapter Twenty-five: Reunited**

Staring at each other, the look of relief on his face mirrored my own. In the next second I was in his arms, crashing my lips against his. Kissing him passionately, I gripped his hair, pressing myself as close to him as I could get. His lips moved effortlessly with mine. He tasted sweet and yet earthy. He sent a spark through me and all I wanted to do was keep my lips against his. Hearing soft laughter, I leaned away from him, pressing my forehead against his as I shut my eyes, running my hands across his hair. Meeting his eyes again, I smiled, kissing him again before I moved around him, pulling Carl into my arms.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you." I told him, taking his face in my hands.

"You, too." He said wrapping his arms around me again.

"Linny." Rick said pressing against me, his hand moving to my hair as he pressed his forehead to my temple, his other hand around his son.

"Rick." I said wrapping my arm around him. "I knew you couldn't be dead."

"Can't kill me that easily." He smirked.

"You weren't there when I came back for you." I frowned at him.

He nodded, running his hand down my hair, "I know. I'm sorry."

"It was my fault." Carl told me. "He was hurt and we needed to move."

I put my hand against Rick's face, "You were hurt. You're looking a little better."

"I got some rest." He smiled. Smiling back, I leaned in and kissed him. "Did you get Ray?"

My smile faltered and I nodded at him, "I did."

"Where is she?" Carl asked.

Sighing, I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes. I couldn't speak, settling for just shaking my head. Carl bowed his head while Rick once again pulled me into his arms. Burying my face in his shoulder, I cried into him. I was so happy to see him and yet was still grieving Ray's death.

"We should go inside." Michonne said softly.

Nodding, I let Rick go. He kept my hand as we walked inside. I looked around, not seeing much of anything. It was quiet.

Turning back to Rick, I frowned at him, "Where's Judith?" Both of them just looked at me in the same way I'd just looked at them. "No." Rick nodded, not meeting my eyes. "No." I said as grief started to settle on me again. "No." I repeated, bending over, not able to breathe. "Rick."

"I know." He said taking me in his arms again.

"Rick." I repeated, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"Me, too." He said as he buried his face in my neck. "About both of them."

Nodding, I continued to cry, so happy and sad at the same time. Finally letting him go, I took a deep steadying breath. Carl stepped up to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, pressing his face into me. Kissing the top of his head, I took another deep breath, looking at Michonne. Even she was struggling with keeping it together. If there was ever a moment to not keep it together it would be now. We'd lost two kids and there were no words for it. No easing that kind of pain.

"You two should go get cleaned up." I told Carl before looking at Michonne.

"What about you?" Carl asked.

I smiled and furrowed my brows, "I'm gonna talk to your dad for a few minutes."

A smile crossed his face as he moved toward Michonne, "You mean you want to make out with him some more."

Grinning, I couldn't help the blush that came to my cheeks, making me gently shove him, "Go away."

He grinned, nodding at me before Michonne gripped his shoulders, leading him upstairs. As soon as they were out of sight, my smile disappeared and I turned to Rick. He nodded, both of us just standing in front of each other.

"Tell me what happened." He said softly.

"She was trying to find breakfast. She came across a hoard and she tried to run but it just led them back to us. We tried to outrun them but in the end it was going to be either us or them." I told him and paused. "In the end I was going to give my life to save hers." I went on, seeing him flinch. "She wouldn't let me. She pulled me out of danger and put herself right into it. They tore her apart right in front of me." I finished, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Caroline." He said softly as he put his hand against my face.

My hand flew to his wrist, moving my thumb back and forth across the top of it. "I know." He nodded. "And Judith?" I asked with difficulty.

He sighed, "I found Carl and when we went looking for her we found her carrier. There was nothing but blood in it."

My stomach was turning and I couldn't say anything. I simply nodded and then took his face in my hands. He gently gripped my wrists. Just looking at each other, we were saying everything that we needed to say. He nodded and put his forehead to mine. Shutting my eyes, I listened to him breathing, loving the feel of my skin against his. Then I parted my lips, kissing him slowly. It took only a moment for him to reciprocate, wrapping his arms around me as I did the same, deepening the kiss until neither of us could breathe.

"Despite the loss of Ray and Judy." I told him softly. "I've never been happier to see anyone in my life."

He smiled, kissing me again, "I know the feeling."

"I needed to find you." I added.

He kissed me again, "And you did. Don't leave me again."

Smiling, I brushed my nose against his, "I promise."

"Are you done yet?" Carl asked as he came back downstairs.

Grinning, I ruffled his hair, "For now."

"Let's get some food." Rick told us.

"You sit." I told Carl, my hands on his shoulders as I moved him toward the table. "We'll get breakfast."

"Okay." He said sitting down with a comic.

"We'll take up reading again later." I smiled at him, wrapping an arm around his neck.

"Yeah, okay." He smiled.

"Good." I stated and placed a quick kiss against his cheek before he could lean away from me. Looking at Rick, we both headed toward the kitchen.

"Linny?" Carl said, stopping me. "I'm okay with it." He told me. "You and Dad. I'm happy for you."

Grinning, I nodded at him, "Thank you, Carl."

Going out of sight, I wrapped my arms around Rick's waist from behind, "We got the Carl stamp of approval."

He chuckled and turned his head, kissing me quickly, "I accept that."

Bringing cereal to Carl, I rejoined Rick as we shared a can of fruit. Hearing Michonne, she sat down with Carl, hearing them talk. Rick and I smiled at each other when Carl started to laugh. Only then Judith was brought up and it got quiet. A chair moved and then Michonne came into the kitchen. Smiling sadly at her, I put my hand on her shoulder as I passed her by, heading upstairs. Looking around, I heard pages turning and I followed the sound into a kid's room that had a small separate room, finding Carl sitting on a reading bench.

"Hey." I told him softly.

"Hey." He replied.

"Can I sit?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah."

Sitting down, I looked around, feeling safe and happy. Not saying anything, I simply sat with him. He must have figured I wasn't going to say anything, starting to read some more. Leaning my head back against the window, I shut my eyes, listening to him. I knew there was nothing I could say. So did he.

"You stink." He said breaking the silence.

I looked at him, starting to laugh, getting him to laugh with me. "Yes. Yes I do."

"You should probably shower." He stated.

"I should." I nodded. "I should find some clothes."

He nodded, "Yeah. You should."

Running my hand across his hair, I pressed a kiss against it before getting up, "I kind of love you, you know."

"I know." He smiled. Nodding, I walked away, "Love you, too."

Stopping I turned to him, smiling and winking before I walked away. Going to the bedroom that clearly belonged to adults, I found that most of it was too big, finding a tank-top that would fit and a pair of jeans that sat loosely on my hips. Stripping, I took a long shower, feeling like a whole new person as the blood and dirt and everything else slid off of me. I felt like I was shedding my skin.

When I was done, I managed to find a complete outfit, taking my clothes back downstairs. Finding the wash machine, there was a pile growing on top of it. Adding mine to it, I went back to the others who were all standing at the door.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"They're going to go try and find some supplies." Rick told me. "We'll need it if we want to make it very far."

I nodded, scratching my shoulder, "Okay. Be safe."

"Do you wanna come?" Carl asked.

I smiled, "No. You and Michonne go. Have a fun yet safe run. I'll stay here."

"So you can make out some more?" He grinned at me.

Laughing, I shook my head at him, "Are you going to keep bringing it up?"

"For a while." He smiled.

"Go away." I told him.

Michonne grinned at me, putting her arm around my neck, "Be good."

"I'm exhausted. You guys are going to do the hard work." I smiled at her.

She smiled and shook her head, smiling at Rick before the pair of them left, leaving me and him alone. Looking at him, he still looked like he was a mess. Gently tugging on his shirt, I faced him.

"It's your turn to shower. Then I'll throw our clothes in the wash." I told him.

He nodded, "Okay." He started up the stairs, stopping and looking down at me, "You coming?"

Smiling, I followed him, "I already showered."

"I know." He smiled.

Going to the bathroom, I started to unbutton his shirt, running my hands along his muscles as I pushed it off of his shoulders. Reaching for his pants, he took my face in his hands and started to kiss me. Running my hands up and down his chest, I wrapped my arms around him, hugging his shoulders to me as he deepened the kiss.

Hearing the shower, I took his clothes to the washer, putting it all in and started it up. Finding him something to wear, he was the luckiest of us. The clothes I found him would fit just fine and once ours were clean and blood and dirt free, we could rest, recover, and get the hell out of here. There were still plenty of family members that we needed to find.

Going to the bedroom, gently touching the clothes I'd put out, I went and grabbed two bottles of water and two books. There were plenty of them around here and if we were just going to relax then we could just read and rehydrate and…maybe a few other things. Sitting down, I waited for the shower to turn off, trying to decide whether I should just go join him. He took so long that I was almost getting worried about him.

Only then the water turned off.

Taking a slow deep breath, I stared at the door, waiting for him to come in. When he did, his hair was wet, curling over his forehead. He wore just a towel around his waist and my imagination was running wild. He stared back at me, smirking before he pulled the towel free, dropping it onto the floor. My breath caught and I couldn't help but grin at him. He was amazing. He was…perfect.

He stepped up to me, looking down at me with a lustful gaze. Standing, I pulled my shirt over my head, keeping my eyes on his. Moving to my pants, I must have been taking too slow, Rick gripped them and clumsily yanked them down. Laughing, I shrieked as I felt his teeth at the top of my underwear. Forcing them down, I unhooked my bra, tossing it aside so we were both standing there naked in front of each other. His hands were already on me and mine were on him.

The happy moment faded and then my pulse started to race, still running my hands along his skin. Sitting down, I moved myself backward, keeping his eyes. He watched me with lust still in his eyes. He crawled over me, his lips meeting mine, his hand running up my stomach and between my breasts. He attempted to position himself on top of me but he fumbled, accidentally kneeing me in the groin. Letting out a sound of pain, I attempted to shift myself, my head colliding with his before I accidentally kneed him right back. He groaned and fell off of me.

Laughing, I put my hand against my forehead, "Well, this is awkward."

He grinned at me, "I had definitely pictured this going better."

"Me, too." I told him and laughed again, looking at him. He met my eyes, looking as handsome as I'd ever seen him. "Try again?"

He nodded, "You're on top."

Laughing, "I'm on top only if you want this to be even more awkward."

"I already screwed it up. It's your turn." He replied.

I had never felt this nervous before sex. I didn't want to ruin this. I didn't want to make this any worse than it already was. Growing serious, I rolled onto my side, caressing his face, running my fingers through his hair, staring into the blue of his eyes. He was amazing. Leaning in, I started to kiss him. Slow and gentle at first. Then I deepened it, slipping my tongue into his mouth, tasting him. Smiling, I rolled over him, continuing to kiss him, reaching down and started to rub him until he was hard.

Meeting his eyes, he brushed my bangs out of mine before he started to kiss me again. Smiling, I gripped him, shifting so I could slide him inside of me. As soon as he was, I shuddered, shutting my eyes as I relished the feeling. Pausing for just a moment, I met his eyes, then I started to rock against him. Just like my kisses, I was slow at first, getting a feel for each other. His hands ran along my sides before moving around my ass, smiling up at me. Grinning, I attacked his mouth with mine before I rocked harder. Rocking as we both started to breathe hard making me rock faster. He leaned up, kissing me passionately before he rolled me underneath him, taking over as he pushed deeper inside me, making me moan with pleasure. My head was already spinning, making me shut my eyes.

He pressed his lips against my ear, "Look at me."

My eyes shot open and I was once again staring into the blue of his. Rocking harder yet, I wrapped my arm around him, my hand finding his face. Kissing him, our mouths were open against each other's as I tightened around him, both of us climaxing. He rested himself on top of me, both of us laughing lightly before we were kissing each other again.

"Hi." He told me sweetly.

I laughed, "Hi."

"Again?" He grinned.

Laughing loudly, I ran my hands up and down his body, kissing him, "I'd love to."

Making love again, even moving to the shower, by the time we actually found ourselves in clothes again, knowing that Carl and Michonne were going to come back eventually, we were both exhausted. Crawling back into bed, I laid on my stomach, partially on top of him, nestling my face into his neck. I took a deep breath of him, happiness moving through me. Putting my hand against his face, I ran my thumb back and forth across his cheek.

"I'm happy you're here." He told me, his arm wrapped around me, his other against my arm, running his fingers up and down.

"I am, too." I replied. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long."

He smiled and pressed a kiss against my forehead. Shutting my eyes, it took all of a few minutes for sleep to take me. I felt happy, safe, and satisfied. I couldn't help but fall for this man. He'd been a beacon of hope and I wanted to hold on to him for as long as I could.

Jerking awake, frowning, I lifted my head and listened. Hearing a bang, a man grunted. My pulse immediately started to race and I started to shake Rick. He opened his eyes and I put my finger to his lips.

"You're a coward." A man said angrily.

"No, I'm sorry."

"You're a lying coward. That's all you'll ever be."

"No, please, I'm sorry. Don't do this, please."

"What the hell'd you say to me?"

"I said don't do this."

"This ain't your business."

"I'm sorry, man."

"Aw, shut up."

They were bantering back and forth. One was clearly anxious about the other. He was afraid. Who the hell were they?

"I'm so sorry. No, don't."

"It's gonna happen."

"We can work this out. Please, don't do this."

"It's gonna happen."

"No, no, no, please. Please don't. Please!"

There was the sound of someone being hit and then one of the men screamed. Apparently there was reason for his fear. Then other men were laughing.

The man is still screaming. "Oh, God!"

"You plan on finishing the job?" A different man asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm getting an earache and I know he's just gonna let his ass squeal." Yet another man complained.

How many of them were there?

"After what he did, the man deserves to bleed."

Rick rolled out of bed, silently moving toward the door. Moving onto my knees, I reached for him but he was already too far away. Trying to hide the shuddering in my breathing, I put my hand over my mouth.

"Y'all stay down there if you want."

Rick looked at me and then pointed to the book and water. Both of us gripped them and then he pointed under the bed. Nodding, I swiftly dropped, moving under the bed. Feeling his arm around me, he pulled me tight against his side, both of us making sure none of us was showing.

"This will be our abode for the evening. Clean up your mess, Harley."

Covering my mouth to keep them from hearing my shuddering breaths, we heard steps, a man entering the room. Rick put his hand on the top of my head, bringing me into his chest as the man dropped down onto the bed, the springs hitting us. Hearing another set of steps, I gripped Rick tightly as he started to argue with the other that was on the bed. They kept talking about claiming and since the sleeping man hadn't, the bed was fair game.

A fight broke out and both Rick and I stared as the first man was being killed right in front of us. His eyes met ours; growing wide, but he couldn't say anything. Then there was a crack and he was still. The winner fell onto the bed, the springs hitting us harder. Waiting, he fell asleep quickly, snores coming from him. Rick looked at me and gently pushed me toward the edge. Gripping his shirt, I looked at him with wide eyes. He nodded, gently pushing me again. Sighing silently, I nodded, pressing my lips to his for a moment before I was moving. Flattening myself to make it under his foot.

As soon as I was free, I rolled and got to my feet, waiting for Rick. Staring at the man, I reached for Rick as he slowly got to his feet. As soon as he was up, he had my hand and we moved to the bedroom across the hall. It was where Carl had been reading. Trying the windows, they wouldn't open, leaving us trapped in this room. Hear steps, we both flew to the sides of the doorway, flattening ourselves against the wall. Looking at him, he met my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I smiled at him. He smiled back before both of us stopped as there were yet more steps and the sound of a ball bouncing. My heart started to pound as the ball hit the top of the wall in the small room we were in. We could see his arm as he repeatedly tossed the ball, catching it again. Then he was gone.

Letting out the breath I had been holding, I turned into the room, Rick right behind me as we moved from it. He grabbed a trophy and then we moved out into the hall. Hearing the men downstairs talking about the clean laundry, I felt my stomach drop. Rick took my waist and swung me into the bathroom, coming in behind me, closing the door. Only we both looked at the toilet, seeing a man sitting there. Jumping back, the man charged Rick, tussling with each other. Attempting to stay out of the way, I grabbed a pair of scissors that were on the counter, stabbing the man so Rick could get the upper hand, strangling him.

Keeping the scissors, Rick took the man's gun as I turned and opened the window. Climbing out of it, I watched Rick crack open the door, grab the man's jacket, and then he was following me. Moving away from the window, I dropped to my stomach before swinging myself over the edge of the roof, dropping to the ground. Rick was right behind me as we circled round the house. Crouching, we moved toward the porch, hearing steps. A man came out of the house, eating food that we had found. Frowning, pissed off now, I was going to move when Rick grabbed my wrist, moving around me and made a face as he shifted the gun into my line of sight. Raising a brow, he smirked and handed me the gun. Smiling, I took it, taking a slow deep breath, hardening myself before I was about to move. Only as soon as I started to come out of my crouch, there was screaming from inside. The man had turned.

Rick was now moving, gripping my hand as we started to run. Michonne and Carl were walking toward us, talking and enjoying themselves. As soon as we saw them, we motioned for them to stop, both looking at us with confusion. Gripping Carl, we started to sprint down the road before anything else could happen.

"You okay?" Michonne asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"There's blood on your hand." Carl stated.

Looking at it, I quickly stopped and attempted to wipe it off in the grass, "We had to fight a little."

Moving toward the tracks, Michonne took out a can of crazy cheese. As soon as I spotted it, I couldn't help but grin and laughed a little, running my hand across Carl's back as he turned to her.

"Crazy cheese?" He smirked.

"I like crazy cheese." Michonne smiled.

"Me, too." I stated.

Coming to the tracks, there was a banner with a map underneath it. SANCTUARY FOR ALL. COMMUNITY FOR ALL. THOSE WHO ARRIVE SURVIVE. Stepping up to it, I looked at Rick who was studying the map.

"What do you think?" Michonne asked.

He looked at me, getting a smile, before he looked at Michonne, "Let's go."

"Let's go." I repeated.

With a new found sense of direction, we started down the tracks. It could be nothing but it could be something. If the rest of our family had seen the same sign, we could be reunited in just a matter of days. Hope was alive. Hope of a safe place as well as the thought of seeing our family again.


	26. Unknown

**Hello my lovelies! Hope all is well with each and every one of you. Here is the next chapter. I attempted to break it up but couldn't figure out a good spot so instead, you now get a super long chapter. It'll be dipping into some of the canon a bit before we branch off from it. Still exciting and good! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-six: Unknown**

Following the tracks, they seemed to be never ending. At every station there was a new sign and another map. The big question was: who put them there? There were a million possible answers. The speculations were ongoing, everyone having their own opinion on who they were and what we were going to find. Though we did veer off long enough to find supplies, since we'd never make it to the end of the map if we didn't; we even managed to find a decent amount of water, but food was scarce and we were all feeling the effects.

Finding a reasonably safe place to sleep, I stood watch while the others slept. Carl was pressed against Michonne while Rick was just apart from them. He was on his side where he had been pressed against mine. Sleep was trying to take me when I finally moved from his side, stepping away from them. Going to the tracks, I looked up at the sky, seeing the stars. I used to love to just watch them. Lie in fields and stare at the sky. Since the world ended it was hard to find a calm enough moment to appreciate something so simple.

The stars were bright and welcoming. The moon was vivid and the sky was clear. Smiling, I took a deep breath of the night air, shutting my eyes as I took it all in. Though I heard a twig snap and was immediately alert and ready for anything. Staring at the trees I waited for something to happen. When nothing did, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Linny?" Rick said softly.

"I'm right here." I said walking back up to him, kneeling at his side. "Everything is fine." I added as I put my hand on his thigh.

He nodded, rubbing his eyes before he looked at me. Smiling, he gently gripped my chin, leaning in and kissed me sweetly. Grinning, I put my hand against his face, kissing him deeper. Leaning away, I met his eyes, gently rubbing his beard. Putting my hand against his chest, I leaned in and kissed him again.

"You should sleep." He told me softly. "I'll take watch."

Nodding, I kissed him once more, "Okay."

Lying down, for a moment he pressed himself against me, kissing me deeply before resting his face against mine. Smiling, I ran my fingers through his hair, wrapping my arm around him. He brushed his nose against mine before he was kissing me again. Laughing lightly, he finally moved away from me. Rolling onto my side, I watched him run his hand down his face, rolling his shoulders as he woke up. My eyes felt heavy and then I was asleep.

Waking to Rick pressing against my back, I smiled, taking his hand in both of mine as he wrapped his arm around me. Pressing my lips against his hand, I sighed, falling back asleep with ease, feeling his lips against my neck.

"We need to go." Michonne said, waking me softly.

"She's exhausted." Rick replied. "Just give her another ten minutes. Twenty even."

Rolling over, I got up and walked toward them, "Not needed."

"Sorry." Michonne smiled, putting her hand on my arm.

I just smiled at her, "Who needs sleep anyway?"

"You do." Rick replied.

"Thank you, baby." I smiled, putting my hand against his face. "But I'm good. I feel rested enough." He nodded at me.

"Linny?" Carl said softly.

"Yeah, sweetie?" I said turning to him. He just looked at me. "What is it?"

"You need to eat something." He told me.

Smiling, I wrapped my arm around him, pressing a kiss into his hair, "Have you eaten?"

"Yeah." He said and handed me a granola bar.

"Thank you." I told him softly.

Rick nodded before shifting his feet, "We should head out."

We all packed up camp and started out. Gravitating to Rick's side, we moved out, listening to Michonne and Carl talking behind us. Getting back on the tracks, Rick handed me water, which I graciously took, smiling at him the whole time. He looked behind us, seeing the pair of them distracted before he pulled me to him, kissing me.

"They don't care you know." I told him.

"I know." He nodded. "I just doing feel like flaunting anything."

Wrapping my arm around him, I kissed him again, "I want them to see." He smiled and stopped me, wrapping me in his arms as he took my breath away. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled.

I gently ran my fingers through his hair, "I'm probably gonna need you to do that often."

He laughed lightly, "I think I'll be okay with that."

"Good." I smiled and kissed him again. Then there was a clearing of throats and we looked at Michonne and Carl. "What?" I asked them.

Michonne shrugged, "Nothin'."

"Yeah." Carl grinned. "Nothing."

Rolling my eyes, I yanked him to me, starting down the tracks again. We started a big debate on the comics we'd been reading, getting heavy when he started to go outside of where I was. Michonne joined until we went far outside of where she was, leaving her and Rick to entertain each other.

Carl and I were in our own little bubble, so enthralled with the conversation that we were oblivious to the rest of the world. We were probably yelling too loud and laughing too loud and just being everything we weren't supposed to be, but…we were happy. This was what it had felt like before the apocalypse. This was normal.

"Okay, you two, I can't take it anymore." Rick said pushing between us.

"Fine." Carl said and quickly hung back to talk to Michonne.

"I was having fun." I told him as I wrapped my arm around him. He just smiled at me. Laughing, I pressed a kiss against his cheek. "Fine."

"You two."

"I kind of like you." I told him sweetly.

He swiftly pressed his lips to my neck before meeting my eyes, "I know I like you."

Laughing, I gripped him tighter, "Good."

He let me go, staring at me for a long moment. The blueness of his eyes was mesmerizing and in this moment I couldn't get enough of them. He was such a good man and I felt so lucky in this moment. He was amazing and handsome and strong and everything I wanted. After Ben I didn't think I'd feel like this again. I didn't think it was possible. But here I was, looking at this man, realizing that even though the world was messed up, feelings like this were possible. It was possible to be happy. It was possible to find moments that felt normal and not so screwed up.

Life was possible.

Love was possible.

"I think we've got about a day's worth of water left. We're lucky it's cooled off a little bit, but…" He said and looked at me. "It's quiet." He said and we both turned around to see Carl and Michonne standing on the rails, balancing as they slowly walked along them. "What are you doing?" He asked them.

"And why didn't you tell me?" I added, smirking at them.

"Winning a bet." Carl replied.

"In your dreams." Michonne shot back at him.

"I'm still on."

"You spoke too soon, wise guy."

I laughed as she attempted to put him off balance. "This is fun."

"This might go on a while." Rick smiled. "Maybe we can speed this up."

I gently nudged him, "Let them have their fun."

"Yeah, you're right." Michonne told him. "Shouldn't be fooling around. We should probably – Carl!" She attempted to make him jump but put herself off balance, dropping off of the rail.

Laughing, I applauded Carl, grinning as Michonne stepped back over with a defeated expression.

"I win. Pay up." Carl told her. She pulled two candy bars out of her bag. Obviously trying to offer him one over the other. "Is that really the last Big Cat?" He asked, looking like he was going to go for it, only to take the other instead.

"Oh, come on." She said clearly disappointed.

"Hey, but you said winner's choice." He stated.

She just smiled at him, "Go ahead, take it. It's yours. You won it fair and square."

He did, breaking it in half, offering it to her. She attempted to decline but he kept his hand outstretched, "Come on, we always share."

"Fork it over." She smiled.

Laughing, I looked at Rick who was doing the same. Then we turned and started back down the tracks. We walked until the sun was low, knowing that we needed to make camp. Finding cover in the woods, setting everything up.

"We should set snares." Rick told me.

I nodded before looking at Michonne, "Keep an eye on things?"

She nodded, "Carl and I can debate about things while you're gone."

Laughing, I nodded, "He's gonna win."

Rick's hand found my lower back, "Come on. If we hurry we might catch something for dinner tonight."

Nodding, I ran my hand down Carl's hair before Rick and I moved into the woods. Following various trails, we set as many snares as we could. If we were lucky we'd have full bellies before the end of the night. I was hungry, but I'd been hungrier before. I'd been through worse and now that I had a family I knew that I could face anything and everything that this new world threw at me. We would survive.

"Good job." Rick told me when we started to circle back.

"I know what I'm doing. You know that." I smirked at him.

He nodded and stopped me, kissing me deeply, "I do know."

Keeping his eyes, I simply nodded at him. In the next second I was against a tree, his lips crashing against mine. Shuddering, his hand found my waist, running it around me before he lifted me off my feet. Turning, he laid me on the ground, moving over me as his hand slid under my shirt. Gripping him tightly, kissing him with all the passion I had in me, I pulled on his shirt. He leaned away from me, sitting back as I sat up, pulling our shirts from our bodies before working on our pants. The ground was cool against my skin, swiftly warming as the heat rose between us.

His hands were rough and wonderful against my skin. His touch sending a shock through me, making me want him more and more. His hand reached between my legs, rubbing me until I was shuddering beneath him. He simply smiled and then pushed up inside of me, making me moan with pleasure, my mouth open against his.

Both of us were smiling as we rocked, making love as if nothing else mattered. In this moment it was only me and him and he was amazing. He made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Connecting with him in a way I never had before. Not with anyone. He was so much more than I ever thought him to be. I knew that with him we could beat this world and we would find our family and come out of this stronger than ever before.

Hand in hand, we made our way back to camp, smiling at each other the entire time, talking about anything that came to mind. I was falling hard for this man. He was swiftly becoming everything to me. It was an amazing and yet terrifying feeling. I'd lost many in my life and to feel so strongly for one person made me vulnerable. But I would do anything to keep him alive and with me.

"Took you long enough." Carl told us when we finally returned to camp.

"Sorry, we just wanted to make sure we had the best possibility of catching something to eat." I replied as I sat next to him.

"Mm-hm." Michonne grinned at me.

"Stop it." I shot at her.

She just laughed. Sitting and talking, waiting anxiously for time to go by, stomachs were rumbling, we were thirsty, but at least we had each other. Nothing else was more important than that.

"How hungry are you, scale of one to 10?" Rick asked.

"Solid 8." I replied.

Carl nodded, "15."

"28."

Rick chuckled, "Yeah. Well, it's been a while. I'm gonna go check the snares."

"Thank god." I said and stood, grinning at him.

"Can I go with you?" Carl asked.

Rick's eyes met mine before he looked at his son, "Well, how else are you gonna learn?" He smiled while Michonne still sat by the fire. "Hey, you too."

She looked at me with a raised brow. I just shrugged and smiled, stepping toward our leader. He nodded at me before putting his arm across his son's shoulders, leading the way toward our snares.

"We'll stay another day or two. Get some more rest." Rick told us as we walked.

"Finish healing up?" Michonne asked.

"I'm almost there."

"I can attest to that." I smirked softly.

Carl looked up at him, "We're close now, right?"

"To Terminus?"

"Yeah."

"We are."

"When we get there, are we gonna tell them?"

Michonne frowned, "Tell them what?"

"Everything that's happened to us." He replied. "All the stuff we've done. Are we gonna tell them the truth."

I was going to say 'yes' when Rick replied. "We're gonna tell them who we are." He told him.

"But how do you say that? I mean…who are we?" Carl replied.

"We are survivors." I told him.

We stopped as we heard a walker, looking up to see it staggering toward us. Michonne quickly moved forward, killing it with her sword. We didn't say anything else as I kept walking coming across a few empty snares before we finally found on with a rabbit caught in it.

"There you go. It's a small one. It'll do." Rick told us. "So, this is just a simple slipknot." He explained while I kept watch on the woods. "Tie one on both ends, then you tighten one side to a branch." He explained. "Now, see how the ground here is sort of like a funnel shape?"

"It's a trail." Carl stated.

"That's right." Rick smiled. "That's where you want to set the noose. So you hide it with leaves. Then you put sticks all around it so any animals going by have to run this way right into the trap."

I liked him like this. When he was teaching. When he was acting like a human being and not a relentless crazy person who was on the verge of self-destruction. He was so much more than anyone thought he was. More than even he thought he was. But as happy a moment as this was, it was cut short when there was yelling.

"Help!" A man yelled. "Somebody help!"

Looking in the direction of his voice, Carl took off.

"Carl." I said grabbing him but he quickly pulled from my grip.

"Carl. Carl, stop! Carl!" Rick called as we all swiftly followed him.

"Get back!" The man yelled. He was in a field surrounded by walkers. "Back! Help! Get away! Get back! Help! Somebody help!"

Rick gripped Carl but Michonne had to grip me, both of us being stopped. Carl shouldn't help but we were adults. We were supposed to be helping people. If there was a chance of saving him then we should take that chance.

"There is nothing we can do." Michonne told me. At the same time the man was already being eaten before our eyes. "We can't save everyone, Linny."

"I've killed enough to know that." I shot at her and swiftly moved away. "Excuse me for trying to make up for that now."

"It's not your job." Michonne said following me.

"Not here." Rick told us. "Let's just move."

Without saying a word, we moved to the tracks, once again moving down them. Staying ahead of everyone, there was a group of walkers up ahead. Another man crying over the death of his loved ones. He was fine. He could survive. But he chose to end his life, shooting himself in the head. Anger took me over and I rushed forward, killing all the walkers before making sure the brains of the dead were damaged.

Without looking at the others, I started down the tracks again. We needed whatever sanctuary Terminus had to offer. I needed the hope that we didn't have to live this way. That there was a place where we could live like we used to. A place where the walkers weren't the main concern. Wanting there to be time to play and live and not dwell on walkers and death.

"Caroline." Rick said softly.

"No." I replied, walking faster.

He jogged to catch up to me, "Linny, stop."

"What?" I shot at him. "What is there to say? We need to get there sooner rather than later. We need walls and safety and our people back. We need to…" I said and trailed off.

He looked at the others before me, "You're making them anxious."

"So?" I shot at him. "They both know what's at stake here. We all know that not everyone can be saved. We all know the dangers of the world, Rick. None of us are exempt and the chance of any of us dying is higher than any of us want to admit."

"Stop." He shot at me. "What's with this attitude? You're the positive one. You're the one who holds us all together."

"Then why can't we save people?" I replied. "There are good people out there and we aren't doing enough to save them."

"You just said it yourself. Not all of us can be saved."

"That's not what I said."

"But it's what you meant."

Sighing, I dropped my face in my hands before running my fingers through his hair, putting my hand against his face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." He told me, taking my head in his hands. "I just need you to be you a little bit longer. We can't break now. And you're stronger than all of us."

"No, I'm not." I smiled at him. "I am just a girl who's trying to understand a fucked up world."

"You understand better than most." He nodded.

Sighing, I nodded, and he quickly pulled me into his arms. Hugging him tightly, I buried my face in his neck, taking a deep breath of him. He pressed his lips against my shoulder, squeezing me tightly.

"I know you want to save people. I do too. But we both know that sometimes that's just not possible."

I nodded, "I know." Leaning away from him, I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

He smiled and helped me, brushing his thumb across my cheek. He looked at the others before he lowered his voice to me. "You have me now. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"You have me, too." I replied. "I will never let anything happen to you again. You're more important than I am."

"Not to me." He whispered.

I laughed lightly, "You are, Rick. You are our leader. You're a father. You need to be careful."

"So do you." He said with a hard tone, moving his face closer to mine, his grip tightening. "You're not alone anymore, Linny. You're not fighting against anyone. We're family and I refuse to let anything happen to you."

Smiling, I nodded and kissed him, "Same goes for you. I didn't fall for you only to lose you."

"Never, Linny." He told me. "I fell for you, too." Then a smile crossed his face. "I keep falling all the time."

Laughing lightly, tears filling my eyes again, I started to kiss him. Kissing him as deeply as I possibly could. "You always know what to say."

"So do you." He replied. "We're kinda the same."

"And yet different." I smiled. "Just kiss me again and I'll be over it." He smiled and kissed me again, his arm moving around me. "Thank you." I said softly, leaning into him, staring into his eyes.

"Thank you." He smiled.

Smiling, there were arms around me from behind and I grinned, putting my hand against Carl's. Then Michonne was there, all of us embracing each other.

"Okay, okay." I said and we all separated. "Let's keep moving."

Doing just that, we needed supplies. We needed something to keep us going. But so far we hadn't come across anything that would help. It was discouraging but we still had a destination. There was still hope.

"Thought maybe there'd be some houses down this way." Michonne told us. "Maybe even a store. There's got to be some food around here somewhere."

"Hey, look." Carl said pointed at an abandoned truck, a walker nearby.

Stepping forward, I pulled my knife free, stabbing it in the head. Looking at Rick, he smiled and nodded. Smiling back, we started to set up camp. It was getting dark and this was as good a place as any. The truck would offer security so we could maybe get some solid sleep tonight. Or at least everyone else could. Out in the open like this always made me feel the need to stay awake and make sure everyone survived. I knew Rick would make me sleep, but I was starting to feel like the only way that would happen would be with him against me. He was my security and knowing that he was close made me feel better.

"Are you scared?" Carl asked me as I lay with him in the truck.

"Yeah, I am." I replied, gently running my fingers through his hair.

"Why?" He asked next.

"Because of what happened at the prison. Because of what might be waiting for us at Terminus. Because the thought of anything happening to you, or your dad, or Michonne, terrifies the living hell out of me. We've already lost so much and I can't lose anyone else."

"But that's impossible." He replied, making himself comfortable. "And you know it."

My chest clenched knowing that he understood that. Maybe even better than me. I knew that everyone couldn't be saved. I knew that. But it shouldn't be so black and white. There had to be some grey area where we could stop all the death. Stop watching people die and do something about it. There were bad people in the world. I knew that. They needed to be taken out. But humanity wasn't going to survive if we kept killing each other. People deserved a chance.

As soon as he was asleep, I left the truck, joining Rick and Michonne who were sitting around a small fire. Rick smiled at me, wrapping his arm around me as I leaned into his side. Michonne smiled at me and I reached across Rick and put my hand against her thigh.

"That was one small rabbit." Rick stated.

"It was something." Michonne replied. "Got to hand it to the thing. It traveled well."

Laughing lightly, I took my hand back, "It made the stomach pains stop."

"Have you noticed that's all we talk about anymore?" He replied. "Food. I forgot what this feels like."

"Me, too." Michonne replied. "I hope we get to forget again soon."

"We're close. Just got to make it through another day. If folks there are taking people in, they have to be strong. They have to have a system."

"If they're still there." I said sadly.

"They will be." Rick replied.

"I wonder if the whole thing's legit." Michonne added.

A branch snapped and we all shot up, looking in every direction. Nothing happened but my intuition was telling me that something was off. Rick sat back down.

"We let people in." Rick stated.

"We did. So did the Governor." Michonne replied, sitting back down as well.

"Yeah, it's always the same, isn't it?" Rick said. "Don't get to know until we know. Maybe this place isn't even there anymore."

"Rick?" I said only then there was the smallest whistle and I was on the ground, pain radiating down my arm.

"Linny!" Rick called, only a gun was pressed to his temple.

"Rick!" I called but a man was already to me, his foot against my chest.

"Oh, dearie me." A middle-aged man said with a smile.

Another had a gun on Michonne, her sword being kicked away from her. My hand was against my arm, blood warm against it. Looking at Rick, his eyes were locked on mine before they shifted toward the truck. Attempting to move the foot from my chest, he bent down, taking my gun and tossed it aside before he backhanded me.

"Caroline." Michonne said gently. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"You screwed up, asshole." The middle-aged man said to Rick. He was clearly the leader of the group, the rest of them coming out of the woods. "You hear me? You screwed up. Today is a day of reckoning, sir. Restitution. A balancing of the whole damn universe."

A disgusting man moving toward the truck caught my attention, my eyes locking on him. He slapped his hand against the truck window, seeing Carl sitting up. The man slammed his knife against the window with the other, smiling at the boy.

"Stay away from him." I shot at him with clenched teeth.

"Shut up." The man who had me pinned said and hit me again.

"Shit, and I was thinking of turning in for the night on New Year's Eve." The leader said. "Now who's gonna count down the ball dropper with me, huh? 10 Mississippi. Nine Mississippi. Eight Mississippi."

"Joe!" A voice called.

My head jerked toward the sound so fast I had whiplash. "Oh my god." I whispered. "Daryl."

"Hold up." Daryl said stepping forward.

"You're stopping me on eight, Daryl." Joe told him.

"Just hold up." Daryl repeated.

"This is the guy that killed Lou, so we got nothing to talk about." One of the men told him.

"The thing about nowadays is we got nothing but time. Say your piece, Daryl." Joe replied.

"These people, you're gonna let 'em go." Daryl told him. "These are good people."

"Now, I'd think that Lou would have to disagree with you about that." Joe retorted. "I'll, of course, have to speak for him and all 'cause your friend here strangled him in a bathroom."

"It was me." I shot at him.

"Linny!" Rick shot back at me.

"You want blood, I get it. Take it from me, man. Come on." Daryl told him, trying to get him to spare us.

"This man killed our friend." Joe told him. "With the help of his fucking woman. You say he's good people. See, now that right there is a lie. It's a lie!"

"Come on." Daryl told him.

In the next second he was hit, not just once, but again and again and again. Several of the men were circling him, hitting him and kicking him.

"Daryl!" I yelled, struggling against the man who had me pinned.

"No!" Rick called.

"Teach him, fellas. Teach him all the way." Joe called to them.

"What does that mean?" I asked. "What does that mean?!"

The disgusting man pulled Carl from the truck.

"You leave him be!" Rick yelled and attempted to move toward his son.

"Carl!" I yelled, still struggling.

Michonne moved and another gun was pointed at her. "You'll get yours. You just wait your turn."

"Listen, it was me." Rick told them. "It was just me."

"He's lying!" I yelled. "It was me. He's just protecting me."

Rick locked eyes with mine and I shook my head. Nothing could happen to him. He had his son to think about. I was not top priority for him. No matter what we felt for each other I knew that. I knew that Carl came first. He was his son. There was no question as to who needed to be saved. In this moment it wasn't me. We both knew that.

"See, now that's right." Joe said. He was sounding a little manic. "That's not some damn lie. Look, we can settle this. We're reasonable men." He went on, watching as Daryl kept being beaten. "First, we're gonna beat Daryl to death."

"No!" I screamed.

"Then we'll have the girl. Then the other girl. Then the boy. Then I'm gonna shoot you and then we'll be square." Joe finished. "You're a lucky man for having two women with you."

Carl was forced to the ground. His cries made panic run through me. He needed help. He needed help and so far there was nothing we could do.

"Let me up!" I screamed, thrashing as I kept my eyes on Carl.

"Let him go. Let him go." Rick was telling them.

Looking at Rick, I knew he was going to do something, opening my mouth to stop him, but he was already moving. He head butted Joe in the face, making the gun go off, clearly dazing him. Then he was moving, punching Joe before falling to his knees.

"I got him." Joe said, stopping the others from going after him. "Oh, it's gonna be so much worse now."

Looking up, Daryl was still being beaten. The man holding Carl was about to do something unforgivable. Something so vulgar that he deserved to be skinned alive for it. Michonne acted next, hitting the gun away from her face, making it go off. The man hit her, sending her to the ground, aiming the gun at her again. Rick was struggling to get up as well. All the while, the pressure against my chest was getting heavier, the man leaning down and pressed the barrel of the gun to my forehead.

"Come on. Let's see what you got." Joe smiled at Rick.

"You leave him be!" Rick yelled now on his feet.

"Huh? Right over here. What the hell are you gonna do now, sport?" Joe taunted him, putting his head next to Rick's.

"Rick!" I screamed. "Please! Don't hurt him!"

In the next second Rick bit into Joe's neck, blood spilling from his jugular. Looking up at the man who had me, I gripped his balls, twisting them, making him scream, the gun going off next to my head. Shoving him away from me, I scrambled for my gun, seeing Michonne shooting the one who had her, then the one who had Carl. Shooting those that had been beating Daryl, I looked back at Rick who was repeatedly stabbing a man in his gut. He was dead but he kept going.

Tears filled my eyes as I took him in, seeing the blood that was covering him. Looking at Michonne, she already had Carl in her arms. Nodding at me, she stood, still gripping Carl and moved him back toward the truck. Taking a step toward Rick, I watched Carl pull free of Michonne, rushing to me, and threw his arms around my center.

"It's okay." I told him softly. "We're all okay."

"You're shot." He told me.

Smirking, I nodded at him, "Yeah. But I've been shot before. Hell, your dad has shot me before. Should we see if the scars will match?" Taking off my jacket, I pulled my shirt down, lifting my shoulder until I could see the wound. It was about two inches higher than my preexisting scar. "Not quite." I smiled at him.

He smiled back, "Can I help?"

"Nah, I got it." I replied. Michonne put her hands on his shoulders. "Go with Michonne."

"What about Dad?" He asked.

"I've got him." I smiled.

He nodded, looking at his father before getting into the truck with Michonne. As soon as he was out of sight, I was near tears, turning to Daryl. He nodded at me and I swiftly moved to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Daryl." I whispered.

"Linny." He whispered back, hugging me tightly.

"Thank god." I said running my hand down the back of his head. "Thank god." I repeated before I was crying into him. "Daryl."

He hugged me tighter before letting me go, taking my face in his hands. Smiling, I did the same, pressing my forehead to his. Nodding at him, I kept his hand as I turned and looked at Rick. Stepping toward him, I knelt in front of him, taking his head in my hands as I met his eyes.

"You did what you had to do." I told him softly. "Baby, you did what you had to do."

He swiftly kissed me and I couldn't help but taste the blood that was on them. Then he wrapped his arms around me, shaking as he buried his face in my neck. Holding him tightly against me, I ran my hand down the back of his head, repeating that it was okay. That he did what he had to do. At the same time, it was horrible and I knew I'd never forget the taste of Joe's blood. A memory now seared into me.

When he finally calmed down, he moved to the side of the truck. The sun was barely starting to rise and Carl was sleeping in Michonne's lap. Daryl had motioned me away, leaving Rick to just sit there with an expression so distant that I wasn't sure what to do for him. Other than just being there for him. He knew I was. I wasn't going to abandon him. Not now. Not ever. He was stuck with me. But it was still unsettling.

"You and him?" Daryl asked softly.

"It happened when I found him after the prison." I nodded at him.

He nodded at me, "I knew it would happen eventually but…"

"I love you, Daryl." I smiled. "That will never change."

"Yeah." He said still nodding, chewing on the inside of his lip. "Where's Ray?"

I sighed, feeling emotion starting to take hold, pushing it down. "She was killed saving me from a herd of walkers." I told him.

"Linny." He said sadly.

Nodding, I shrugged, only he pulled me into his arms, pressing his lips to my forehead. "I know." I told him.

He took a deep breath, letting it out forcefully. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too." I said before letting him go. "Okay." I added wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I need to see to Rick."

He nodded, holding my hand before I was too far away for him to keep it. Kneeling next to Rick, I took his hand, holding it tightly against my chest. He met my eyes, squeezing my hand just as tight. Smiling at him, I gently ran my fingers through his hair, moving as close to him as I could get.

"It's okay." I told him. He shook his head. "It is, baby, it is."

"Linny." He said softly, emotion crossing his face. Only then Daryl was there with a rag and a bottle of water, pouring some onto it. His expression evened out as he looked up at him. "We should save it to drink."

"You can't see yourself, he can." Daryl told him, sitting next to him. I smiled at Rick as he wiped his face. "I didn't know what they were."

"How'd you wind up with them?" Rick asked. Taking the rag, I started to wipe the blood from his face, holding his chin in my hand.

"I was with Beth." He replied, both Rick and I looked at him. "We got out together. I was with her for a while."

"Is she dead?" Rick asked. My throat was tight and for a moment I couldn't breathe. "Linny." Rick said gently. Looking at him, I took a deep breathe, nodding at him.

"She's just gone." Daryl replied. I took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly to steady myself. He reached his hand out, putting it against my arm. I smiled at him, finishing with Rick's face. "After that, that's when they found me. I mean, I knew they were bad, but they had a code. It was simple. Stupid, but it was something. It was enough."

"And you weren't alone." Rick stated.

"Said they were looking for some guy. Last night they said they spotted him. I was hanging back. I was gonna leave." He went on. "But I stayed. That's when I saw it was you four. Right when you saw me. I didn't know what they could do."

"It's okay." I told him, putting my hand against his face. He quickly covered it with his own.

"It's not on you, Daryl." Rick told him. He clearly wasn't convinced. "Hey. It's not on you. You being back with us here, now, that's everything. You're my brother."

"Mine, too." I smiled, leaning in and pressed a kiss against his cheek, running my hand down his chest. "You're home."

There was a long pause before he spoke again, "Hey, what you did last night…anybody would have done that."

"No, not that." Rick replied.

I bowed my head. I couldn't tell him any different. What he did was vicious. It was brave and it saved us all from being killed but…it was something most wouldn't do. He was straddling a line between doing what was necessary and taking it one step too far. It was needed. He did what he had to do. I wouldn't hold it against him. I wouldn't talk to him about it. But it had been a little scary to watch. I'd done a lot of things, things I wasn't proud of, and even I had trouble stomaching that. The thought of tearing the flesh out of another person. I wasn't sure I could ever do that. But if I had to…would I?

"Something happened. That ain't you." Daryl told him.

"Daryl, you saw what I did to Tyreese." Rick replied. "It ain't all of it, but that's me. That's why I'm here now. That's why Carl is. I want to keep him safe. I want to keep her safe." He said and smirked at me. "That's all that matters."

There was a long pause where Rick and I just looked at each other. Smiling at him, I leaned in and kissed him sweetly. "We should go."

"Yeah." He replied.

Getting up, I tapped on the truck window and Michonne nodded at me. Starting down the road, I heard steps, looking to see Daryl following me.

"I'm fine." I told him, seeing the question in his eyes.

"You don't have to be." He replied.

Laughing lightly, I shook my head at him, "He did what he had to do."

"I know he did. But you still don't have to be fine."

Sighing loudly, I bit my lip as I attempted not to cry, "It was bad."

"Last night?"

I nodded, "That was bad. But it's not just that, Daryl. It's the prison. It's Hershel. It's having to watch Ray die and I couldn't do a damn thing for her. It's about nearly dying for what feels like the hundredth time. I'm tired, Daryl. I am so goddamn tired."

He nodded, wrapping his arm around me. Doing the same, I leaned into his side, resting my head against his shoulder. "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." He told me. "Where we're going might give us time to rest and feel like we can take a breath."

"And if it doesn't?" I asked.

"We'll deal with it then." He stated matter-of-factly.

Looking up at him, he pressed a kiss against my forehead, "Okay."

"Good girl." He smirked.

Smiling, I shook my head at him, "Seeing you made it all ten times better. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." He said and kissed my forehead again. "More than you know."

Still following the tracks, Daryl and I were talking while Rick, Carl, and Michonne still trailed behind. When we reached another station, there was yet another map next to the tracks. Looking at it, seeing where we were, I felt Rick's hand on my shoulders, pressing against my back.

"Hey, baby." I smiled as he pressed his lips into my hair. His slipped one arm around my waist, sighing an unspoken question. Turning, I put my hands against his chest. He just looked at me. "Everything's fine." He nodded, not looking like he believed me. "We're fine."

"We're getting close. Be there before sundown." Daryl told us.

"Now we head through the woods. We don't know who they are." Rick told us.

"All right." Daryl nodded.

Letting the men lead the way into the woods, I hung back with Carl and Michonne. After a while Carl moved up with them, talking to his dad. Smiling at them, I felt Michonne's eyes on me. Sighing, I knew what she was going to say and I didn't want to talk about it. Not right now.

"I'm fine."

"I know."

"There's nothing to talk about." I told her, raising a brow.

She smiled at me, nodding, "Mm-hm."

Smiling, I nodded, "It's fine."

"Okay." She replied.

Finding the perimeter to Terminus, we found it reinforced with spikes among other things. So far it looked empty inside. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Actually it was making me far more nervous than I wanted to admit. It took all of me not to tell Rick that we should just go. This didn't feel right.

"We all spread out, watch for a while, see what we see, and get ready. We all stay close." He told us before looking at Carl. "You want to stick with me?"

"It's all right." He replied, going off with Michonne.

He looked at me and I felt the overwhelming need to reassure him. "He's fine. The two of you are fine. He's just dealing with everything."

"Are you?" He asked.

For a long moment I just looked at him. "Yeah. I am." I told him honestly.

"What does that mean?" He asked.

Smiling, I brought my hand to the back of his neck, "It means that what you did was needed but was a little shocking." He nodded at me, lowering his eyes. "Rick, that's all there is to it. I will stand with you until the end. No matter what end that might be. I'm with you." He lifted his eyes and met mine again. "There is nowhere else I want to be." I added taking his hand. "I want to be right here with you."

He smiled and kissed me, pulling me against him, "Thank you."

"No." I told him. "Thank you."

Letting me go, we found a spot and dug a hole, taking out just enough guns for us before we buried it. Just as we were putting dirt on top of it, Daryl came back.

"Just in case." Rick told him.

Soon Michonne and Carl came back, everyone giving the same report.

It was quiet.

Rick led the way as we jumped the fence, refusing to even go near the main entrance. Swiftly and silently, we moved forward, letting ourselves in. It appeared to be deserted. There were buildings everywhere and evidence that people where here, but it was so quiet. Following the sound of a woman's voice, we slipped into a room, finally finding people. There were a handful of them, the woman who was the voice of the message, the others were creating the maps we had seen while following the tracks.

"Terminus – those who arrive survive. Follow the tracks to the point where all lines intersect. There are maps at the crossings to help guide you with your journey. Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive. Terminus, sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who s-"

"Hello." Rick said as we lined up in front of them.

They all looked up, and one man spoke. His voice was kind. He looked decent. "Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch." He stepped toward us. "You here to rob us?"

"No." Rick stated. "We wanted to see you before you saw us."

"Makes sense." He nodded.

He was tall and lanky. Built but I thought I could take him if something happened. It was sad that that was one of the first thoughts now when meeting someone new. Gauging them on your ability to take them out if necessary. Not only that but the vibe you get off of them. And this guy? I had a bad feeling about him.

"Usually we do this where the tracks meet." He went on, opening his arms to us. "Welcome to Terminus. I'm Gareth. Looking like you've been on the road for a good bit."

"We have." Rick nodded at him. "Rick." He said motioning toward himself, then to the rest of us. "That's Caroline, Carl, Daryl, Michonne.

"You're nervous. I get it." Gareth told us. "We were all the same way. We came here for sanctuary. That what you're here for?"

"Yes." Rick nodded.

"Good. You found it." He told us. Looking at Rick, I wanted to reach for his hand but I knew that this wasn't the time for that. Something still didn't feel right about this. "Hey, Alex." He called out to one of the others who stepped toward him. "This isn't as pretty as the front. We got nothing to hide, but the welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer. Alex will take you, ask you a few questions. Uh, but first, we need to see everyone's weapons. If you could just lay them down in front of you."

Looking at Rick, we waited for him to make the decision. He looked back before he nodded, "All right."

"I'm sure you understand." Gareth added.

"Yes, I do." Rick replied as we all set our weapons down in front of us.

Alex and one other came forward and patted us down, making sure we weren't hiding anything. Part of me wished I was, just in case, but we couldn't build trust by starting out with deceiving them.

"I'd hate to see the other guy." Alex said as he patted down Daryl.

Rick gave him a look, "You would."

"They deserve it?" Alex asked Carl.

"Yes." He replied.

"Anything else you want to know?" I shot at him, flinching as he touched my arm.

"Are you hurt?"

"No." I retorted.

"Just so you know, we aren't those kind of people, but we aren't stupid either." Gareth told us. "And you shouldn't be stupid enough to try anything stupid. As long as everyone's clear on that, we shouldn't have any problems. Just solutions. Okay?"

Our weapons were picked up and handed back to us. Looking at Rick, he just nodded at me.

Alex motioned to us, "Follow me."

Going out a side door, I moved closer to Carl, moving him closer to Rick with me. I was still uneasy despite their apparent kindness and willingness to help.

"So how long's this place been here?" Daryl asked him.

"Since almost the start." Alex replied. "When all the camps got overrun, people started finding this place. I think it was instinct, you know? Follow a path. Some folks were heading to the coast, others out west or up north, but they all wound up here."

Walking down a main street, we came to a courtyard, a grill in front of us, tables and various carts placed around it. There was a redheaded middle-aged woman who was manning the grill, turning meat that was cooking. It smelled amazing and all I wanted was to devour it.

"Hi." She told us. "Heard you came in the back door. Smart. You'll fit right in here."

"Hey, Mary, would you fix each of these new folks a plate for me?" Alex asked her.

"Why do you do it?" Michonne asked. "Why do you let people in?"

"The more people become a part of us, we get stronger." Alex told her. "That's why we put up the signs, invite people in. It's how we survive."

While they all talked, Rick's eyes were moving, taking in everything around us. Finally taking my eyes off of the meat, I did a double-take at Rick's expression. Something was wrong. Shifting closer to him, he met my eyes, nodding in a few different directions. Looking, my stomach started to turn. These people were wearing or carrying our family's possessions. Both panic and anger started to fill me. Then I saw Rick's expression go dark, his eyes on Alex. Following his line of sight, I felt mine do the same as I took in Hershel's watch that he had given to Glenn. There was no way in hell Glenn would part with that watch.

Still staring at it, Rick stepped forward and hit the plate of food out of Alex's hands, gripping him around his neck and yanked the watch from his pocket. My gun was immediately out and aimed at the people around us, ready to do what I had to.

"Where the hell did you get this watch?" Rick asked him with venom.

"You want answers? You want anything else? You get 'em when you put down the gun." Alex replied but he was terrified.

"I see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle." Rick replied. "How good's his aim? Where'd you get the watch? Where did you get the watch?!"

"Answer him!" I yelled.

"Don't do anything! I have this!" Alex called to his people. "You just put it down. You put it down! You want to listen to me. There's a lot of us."

"Where did you get the watch?" Rick asked him again.

"I got it off of a dead one. I didn't think he'd need it."

"Bullshit!" I yelled, not wanting to believe it. Not for a second.

"What about the riot gear?" Rick asked next. "The poncho?"

"Got the riot gear off a dead cop." Gareth replied as he came into view. "Found the poncho on a clothesline."

"Gareth, we can wait."

"Shut up, Alex."

Rick looked at Gareth, "You talk to me."

"What's there left to say? You don't trust us anymore."

"Gareth." Alex said a little panicked.

"Shut up."

"Gareth, please."

"It's okay. Rick, what do you want?"

"Where are our people?" Rick asked.

"You didn't answer the question."

Gareth's hand had been open, but when he shut it, Rick spun and gunfire went off, hitting Alex instead. I spun as well, shooting toward the sniper on the roof. The others were doing the same. Rick let Alex drop and then we were running.

Running down the main street, gunfire went off again, only it was at our feet. Turning into a warehouse, we ran through, letting ourselves back outside. Running as fast as we could we ran around cars and crates, gunfire once again going off, herding us in the direction that they wanted us to go. Passing shipping crates there was banging and yelling from inside of them. Something was very, _very_ wrong. Running into the nearest building there were candles that were elaborately placed.

"Rick." I said gripping his arm.

"I know." He replied. "But we have to keep moving."

"They're herding us, Rick." I frowned at him.

He took my hand, "Come on."

Continuing to move, we followed the route they wanted us to. They continued to shoot at our feet if we took a misstep. When it finally got quiet, we were all breathing hard, finding ourselves surrounded with nowhere to go.

"Drop your weapons! Now!" Gareth said from on top of a building. We didn't listen. "Now!" He yelled again. I looked at Rick and he nodded at us. We all put them down. "Ringleader, look to your left. The train car, go." He commanded. "You do what we say, the boy goes with you. Anything else, he dies and you end up in there anyway."

Rick looked at me before Carl, moving toward the train car.

"Now the archer." He said and Daryl went next. "Now the samurai." Michonne. "Now the mother." He said and I looked at Carl. He nodded to me. Moving to stand behind Michonne, as soon as I was there, I looked back at Carl. "Stand at the door, ringleader, archer, samurai, mother, in that order."

"My son." Rick called to him.

Gareth paused before he looked at Carl, "Go, kid." He watched him start walking. "Ringleader, open the door and go in."

"I'll go in with him." Rick retorted.

"Don't make us kill him now." Gareth replied.

Rick didn't hesitate to go up the stairs and open the door, stepping inside. Daryl did the same, Michonne, me, and then we all looked at the door anxiously while we waited for Carl. As soon as he was in the door was slammed shut. At the same moment I had Carl in my arms.

"Mom?" He said and grinned up at me.

Laughing lightly, I hugged his head against me, looking at his father.

"Rick?" A familiar voice said making my head jerk up.

Letting Carl go, I turned as Glenn came into sight. Maggie, Sasha, and Bob were behind him. As well as others I didn't know. "Glenn."

"You're here." Rick nodded. "You're here."

"Maggie." I said and she met me halfway as I hugged her as tightly as I could.

Then I was looking at the others, Rick as well. "They're our friends. They helped save us." Maggie explained.

"Now they're friends of ours." Daryl stated.

"For however long that'll be." A redheaded soldier-type stated.

"No. They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out." Rick said with certainty.

The soldier furrowed his brows at him, "Find out what?"

Rick looked at him, "They're fucking with the wrong people."

Pride swelled inside of me and I nodded at him, unable to look away. Rick was all we needed to get through this. And he wasn't wrong. They would be sorry before all of this was over. They truly had fucked with the wrong people. Unbeknownst to them, they reunited one of the most power families of the apocalypse, and if they thought they could get away with this, they were sadly mistaken. A mistake that would cost them their lives.


	27. Escape and Survive

**Chapter Twenty- seven: Escape and Survive**

Kneeling on the ground, I was attempting to pull nails from the boards in the floor. My fingers were bloody. My nails split as I continuously picked at the wood around them, trying to loosen them enough to pull them free. We all were doing our best to come up with a weapon. We had no resources, needing to make the most out of what we did have and he basically had nothing.

The nails were put through belts, the leather being wrapped around hands, ready to stab and slash at anything in our paths. The buckles were broken and put between fingers – another claw – with shoelaces being wrapped around hands, ready to strangle.

It wasn't much, but it would do. It had to. We were stuck in here with no idea what was happening on the outside. There was screaming, yelling, crying, but we had no idea why. What were these people doing to each other? Why were we herded like cattle and left in here? I could only think the worst. Emotion was starting to build up as I frantically picked at the nails in front of me.

"Mom." Carl said softly, kneeling in front of me. My head shot up at him. "Linny."

Sighing, I nodded at him, reaching my hand up but stopped when I saw the blood. Frowning, he took my hand and pressed it against his face. Smiling, I pulled him to me, pressing my forehead to his.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him.

"Don't be." He told me. "We're gonna be okay."

"I'm not so sure this time, Carl."

"We will." He told me. "You're the one who always says that."

Laughing lightly, I nodded at him, "Yeah, I know."

"So tell me now." He told me, fear in his voice. "Tell me now, Mom."

Meeting his eyes, I took a deep breath, letting determination fill me, "Carl, sweetie, we are going to be fine. We always are. We are going to figure it out and we will be alive and together at the end. We are going to be okay."

He smiled and nodded, "Thank you."

Laughing lightly again, I pulled him into my arms, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"They seemed nice enough, but I was ready to go." Abraham told us. "We just here, but, damn, it was time to go. When I told them about DC, a wink and a nod from the head asshole in charge, they pulled their guns and it was right back to our regularly scheduled shitstorm."

Looking at him, I nodded at Carl before starting to pick at the nails again. Carl started to help me.

"Before they put you in here, you didn't see Tyreese?" Sasha asked.

Michonne looked at her sadly, "No."

"Good." She replied.

"Black car with a white cross painted on it. I tried to follow it. I tried." Daryl told Maggie.

Stopping, I looked up at her. She simply smiled at him, "But she's alive?"

"She's alive."

Looking at Rick, he had already been looking at me. He nodded and continued to saw off a piece of wood with the zipper he had taken from his jacket. Getting up, I moved to him, running my hand down his hair before kneeling next to him. He looked at me, smirking. Wrapping my arm around him, I wanted to say something, but before I could, there was talking outside.

"What are you doing?" A man asked.

"Everybody shut up. Shut up!" A second man replied.

Daryl was looking out the crack in the door, "All right, got four of them pricks coming our way."

Rick was on his feet, me next to him, both of us moving into position. "Y'all know what to do. Go for their eyes first. Then their throats."

"Put your backs to the walls on either end of the car now!" A man yelled.

Taking a deep breath, I made sure Carl was behind me, meeting Rick's eyes as we prepared to fight our way out. But instead of the door to the car opening, a hatch above us opened and a canister dropped inside with us.

"Move!" Abraham yelled.

Then there was a bright flash and smoke billowed out of the canister. As soon as the smoke hit my lungs, coughing took me over. I could hear the doors open but the smoke was too thick, everything stinging as I attempted to breathe. I knew Rick was next to me. He had been with me. Only then he was pulled away, yelling filling the car until the door was slammed shut again. The smoke started to clear and I frantically started to look for Rick.

"Rick? Rick!" I yelled.

"Glenn!" Maggie yelled.

"Bob!" Sasha screamed.

"Daryl!" I yelled.

When I could finally see everyone, the four of them were the only ones not here. Both panic and anger started to fill me. Getting up, I turned and pulled Carl to his feet, taking his head in my hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Good." I said and turned to the door. "When I get out of here I swear to God every one of them is going to die."

Maggie appeared at my side, meeting my eyes with a hard look. Nodding at her, we all kept our weapons ready and waited for something to happen.

"What do you think is happening out there?" Michonne asked me softly.

I was holding my ground right in front of the door. "I don't know. It doesn't matter right now. What matters is getting the hell out of here."

"He'll be okay." She told me softly. I met her eyes. She smiled at me, "He always is."

It was meant to help, but it only made panic start to fill me. Just because he had been lucky up until now didn't mean that he would remain lucky. Luck ran out. It was just a matter of time. If that was now I wanted to be with him. I couldn't imagine leaving this car and not finding him alive. There's wasn't time to dwell, as gunshots were heard. Shot after shot. Then there was an explosion.

"What the hell is going on?" Abraham said, standing at the door next to me.

"Something hit them." Michonne replied.

Sasha looked hopeful, "Maybe our people got free."

"Excuse me." Eugene said moving to the door.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rosita asked.

He looked up at her, "I might be able to use this shell to compromise the door. From the sound of things, there may not be anybody left to open it."

Tara stepped forward, "Eugene, I'm sorry, but shut up."

"Okay."

"Hey. My dad's gonna be back. They all are." Carl told us.

"He's right." I added. "Rick would never leave us in here."

"They will be back." Maggie repeated. "And we need to get ready to fight our way out with them when they do."

Smiling at her, she smiled back, looking down at Hershel's watch. She stared at it for a long moment before she used the chain to start sawing through the wood of a post against the side of the car. Looking at Michonne, she was keeping watch through the crack in the door. I was about to turn away when there was growling and the dead stuck their fingers through it.

Now more than ever we needed a way to protect ourselves. We would be fighting the dead along with the living. I think I preferred fighting the dead. Moving back to where I had been, I was once again on my knees, picking at the nails.

"Stop." Carl told me.

"We need to be ready."

"You won't be able to hold a weapon if you don't stop."

Looking up at him, I nodded, sitting back on my heels. "He'll be okay, Carl. We all will. We're fighters. We're survivors."

"I know." He nodded, taking my hand.

Squeezing it tightly, I smiled at him.

"What's the cure, Eugene?" Sasha asked, making all eyes turn to them.

"It's classified."

Michonne frowned at him, "We don't know what's gonna happen."

"You leave him be." Abraham shot at her.

"We need to keep working." Maggie told them.

"She's right. We need to be ready when Rick and the others come for us." I added, now standing at her side.

"Yeah, but it's time to hear it." Sasha replied. "'Cause we don't know what's coming next."

"What's next is we get out of this." Tara stated.

"All the more reason to keep getting ready." I told them with a hard tone.

"Even if I told you all, even if I provided step-by-step instructions complete with illustrations and a well-composed FAQ and I went red-ring…the cure would still die with me." Eugene rambled off.

"I'm not gonna let that happen." Abraham stated.

"The best-case scenario, we step out into a hellstorm of bullets, fire, and walkers. I'm not fleet of foot. I sure as hell can't take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence." Eugene went on.

"Yeah, but we can and we will." Michonne told him.

"You don't owe us anything. Not yet. But we just want to hear it." Sasha said to him, emotion in her voice.

Rosita looked at Eugene, "You don't have to."

Eugene looked at her before starting to talk. He was high and mighty. He was smart but weak. He annoyed the hell out of me.

"I was part of a 10-person team at the Human Genome Project to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Pathogenic microorganisms with pathogenic microorganisms. Fire with fire. Interdepartmental drinks were had, relationships made, information shared." He said and paused. He had all of our attention. "I am keenly aware of all the details behind fail-safe delivery systems to kill every living person on this planet. I believe with a little tweaking on the terminals in DC, we can flip the script. Take out every last head one of them. Fire with fire." Abraham nodded while Sasha looked at him with a slight sense of awe, making Eugene smile. "All things being equal, it does sound pretty badass."

"So let's get back to work." Maggie told us all.

I nodded and turned toward her, "What do you think?"

"I think that no matter what he can do, we need to get out of this before any of that can happen." She replied.

"Agreed." I told her. "They will be fine."

"I know."

Then banging started at the door. It was being opened. We all faced it, ready to fight to the death. When it slid open, it was Rick and he was holding an automatic rifle.

"Come on! Fight to the fence!" Rick yelled at us.

"We do not leave his side!" Abraham yelled. "Go, go, go!"

But I didn't care about keeping Eugene safe. I gripped Carl, dropping from inside the car.

"Carl!" Rick called. He swiftly went to his father. "Linny." He said and put his hand against the side of my head. I nodded at him. "Let's go!"

Rushing toward the fence, I stopped at the nearest body, pulling a knife free from his waist, a gun from a few feet away. Rushing back to where Carl and Rick were, I started to shoot all the dead that came our way. The others were doing the same. Passing behind him, I shot a walker before bringing my knife down on top of another, the blade slipping easily into its brain.

"Let's go! Move!" Abraham yelled as we made it to the fence.

"Come on!" Rosita called.

Gripping Carl, I forced him over the fence, swiftly following him before I turned back for Rick. He was over a second later, momentarily gripping my arm before we were moving again. All of us were here. We were all alive. We headed back to where the guns were buried.

"Right here." Daryl said and tossed Rick a shovel.

Dropping to his knees, he started to dig. I did the same, my fingertips numb from the damage that was already done.

"The hell are we still around here for?" Abraham shot at him.

"Guns, some supplies." Rick told him. "Go along the fences. Use the rifles. Take out the rest of 'em."

"What?" Bob asked.

"They don't get to live." Rick shot at him, getting to his feet.

Glenn stepped toward him. "Rick, we got out. It's over."

"It's not over till they're all dead."

"They can't get away with this." I frowned at him. "After what they've done? You want to let them live?"

"It's over." Rosita repeated. "That place is on fire. Full of walkers."

"I'm not dicking around with this crap." Abraham stated with anger. "We just made it out."

"The fences are down. They'll run or die." Maggie told him.

"And if they run into someone else?" I frowned at her.

"This isn't you." Maggie said softly.

I nodded at her, "It is. And you know it." Then Daryl was moving and we all looked to see Carol standing there. "Oh, my God."

Daryl already had her in his arms, hugging her as tightly as humanly possible. Rick moved toward her. I knew he felt guilty for what he did. He embraced her happily.

"Did you do that?" He asked. She nodded at him. "Thank you."

"You have to come with me." She told him.

He nodded and then we were on the move. Going in the opposite direction of Terminus. Moving up a small dirt road, there was a shed up ahead. Keeping our eyes to the woods around us, all focus was drawn to the door as it opened and Tyreese came out. Only it wasn't just him. Judith was in his arms. Emotion filled Rick and both he and Carl rushed forward. Rick took her from his arms, sobbing as he held her against him. Sasha reunited with Tyreese. Nearly everyone was back together again.

Stepping up to Rick, he turned Judith toward me. "Hey, sweet pea." I beamed at her with glistening eyes.

"She's alive." Rick told me as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "We all are."

"She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I grinned, laughing as tears fell down my cheeks.

He looked up at the smoke, "I don't know if the fire is still burning."

Carol looked at well, "It is."

"Yeah." Rick said. "We need to go." He said taking Judith from me.

"Yeah, but where?" Daryl asked him.

He looked at him, "Somewhere far away from there."

Smiling up at Rick, I couldn't hide the happiness I was feeling. We were okay. We were still together. Judith was alive. For as bad as today was, it was ending on such a high note. Taking Judith back from Rick, I held her tightly as we headed back to the tracks. We didn't know where we were going but it wasn't here. When we got there, we all glanced at the sign as we passed by it. Rick stopped, making me do the same as he put mud on his hands, wiping out everything but SANCTUARY, putting NO above it. It had been a lie. A horrible lie that nearly got us killed.

"We're all okay, Rick." I told him.

He nodded at me, "I know."

"Good. As long as you know."

He put his hand against his daughters back as he leaned in and kissed me. "We're gonna be okay."

Putting my hand against his face, I gently ran my thumb across his lips. "We really are."

He smiled and kissed me again, pulling me tight against him. Then we turned and started to follow the others. No matter what happened. We would face it and conquer it together. We were family. We'd grown in numbers. We would be okay and we would continue to be okay.

We were survivors.

Walking for what felt like forever, everyone was in higher spirits now than they had been. How could the world not be brighter now that we were out of that place? Even if we didn't have a destination, we were still together. All of us.

"You sure you're okay?" Rick asked me.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine." I smiled at him, bouncing Judith on my hip. "I can take her."

"Only if you want to. Otherwise I am perfectly happy to hold on to her." I asked, my smile growing. He put his arm around me, pulling me into him, kissing me softly. Gently rubbing his beard, I kissed him again. "We're gonna be okay."

"I know." He smiled. "I've got you."

Laughing lightly, I shook my head at him, "I think it's the other way around."

He nodded, pressing a kiss against Judith's cheek before taking her from me. As soon as she was from my arms, there was a different arm around me, and I smiled and pulled Carl tight against my side.

"How you doin'?" I asked him.

"I'm okay." He nodded at me. "You?"

I nodded back at him, "I'm good."

"How's your arm?" He asked.

I shifted my arm, "Healing nicely." He nodded, looking worried about something. "What is it?"

He looked at his dad who was talking to Judith. Putting my arm around him, I sped up just enough to put some distance between us and them. Running my hand across his hair, I pulled him tighter against me, looking down at him.

"What's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" I smiled at him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek.

"What are we gonna do?" He asked.

"We're going to walk, we're going to scavenge, and we're going to survive. Just like always."

"About what Dad did…?" He said and looked up at me.

My expression turned serious, "He did was he had to do."

"You've done things. Would you have done that?" He asked.

Sighing, I had to think about how to respond to that. "I may not have done what he did, but I would have killed them. I would have killed all of them and not thought twice about it. Anyone that threatens my family is asking for death."

"You've never thought twice?"

I smiled and nodded at him, "I did at the beginning. But I learned the hard way that people cannot be trusted. I don't trust anyone easily anymore. It takes a lot. I need to know things."

"The questions?" He asked.

"Yes. The questions. People are unpredictable and we can't let our guard down. That's when someone dies."

"And we can't let that happen."

Smiling, I tipped his hat and pressed a kiss against his forehead, "No, sweetie, we can't."

Continuing to walk and talk, Rick caught up to us, falling into a fun and playful banter with him. Carl was smiling at us but it was nice to just talk and not feel the weight of impending doom on us.

Stopping when the sun started to set, I was standing in front of Rick, with Carl and Judith next to us. Carl was giving her a bottle and so far she'd been doing amazing. Looking around at our family, I saw a happy Maggie and Glenn. Carol with Daryl. A still apprehensive looking Abraham and Rosita, and Eugene…he was just fucking annoying. There was just something about him that I didn't like. Something was off about him. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. The only thing I was sure of is that I did not like him.

Then our misfit was coming toward us, making me quickly smile at her, "Tara."

She looked at Rick with heavy guilt. He nodded at her, "You didn't want to be there. That's why I tried to talk to you. Glenn told me you saved his life."

"He saved mine." She replied.

"That's how it works with us, right?"

"Right." She said and help up her fist for a pound.

Laughing lightly, I looked up at Rick who wasn't paying attention. "Hey."

Rick chuckled and pounded her fist, "Get something to eat. We'll start back at sunup."

"You, too." Tara smiled at me.

Laughing, I nodded and pounded her fist, probably a little too hard. She just grinned and moved to where Glenn and Maggie were. Rick offered me food and I graciously took it, making sure Carl got enough and that Judith was satisfied as well. Taking her from her brother, I sat with my back against a tree, smiling as she relaxed against my chest.

Shutting my eyes, I was starting to drift off. Judith had finally fallen asleep. I was nearly asleep when a twig snapped and I was up and nearly onto my feet when I realized that nothing was happening. Sighing, I sat back down, making Judith comfortable again. She briefly woke up but fell asleep again quickly. Sighing, I was frowning as my eyes searched for Rick, seeing him keeping watch with Michonne.

"You've got quick reflexes." Abraham said as he sat near me.

I nodded, "You have to in a world like this."

"What's your story?"

"I was in Atlanta. I got out. Had a bunch of shit happen to me." I told him and smirked.

He nodded at me, "Fair enough."

"What's yours?" I asked.

"The same." He smiled. "A never ending shitstorm that likes to explode more often than I'd like."

Nodding, I pressed a kiss against Judith's head, taking a deep breath of her baby scent, "Yeah."

There was a short paused before he smiled at me, "You're good with her."

Smiling, I rested my head against the tree, "I always wanted to be a mom."

"Never happened?"

"No." I replied sadly.

"Plumbing problems or prick problems?" He smirked at me.

I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not. Deciding that it wasn't worth it, I just smirked back at him, "Definitely a prick problem."

"Hey." Rick said squatting next to me.

My head jerked toward him, "Hey."

He looked at Abraham before he sat next to me, wrapping his arm around me as he leaned down and pressed a kiss against his daughter's head. Leaning back, I shifted myself closer against his side, resting my head against his shoulder. A moment later I felt his lips against my forehead, making me relax further into him.

"You should sleep." He told me.

"So should you." I replied softly.

He let out a soft chuckle, "The never ending fight."

"You need it more than me."

"No." He replied. "You need it so you can take care of your family."

I lifted my head and smirked at him, "I thought that was your job." I wanted him to kiss me. When he didn't I simply sighed and rested my head against his shoulder again. "You win."

"Finally." He whispered and pressed another kiss against my forehead.

Falling asleep, it felt amazing but was brief. Even after months of peaceful sleeping at the prison, now that we were once stuck without walls and security, I had quickly fallen back into my old sleeping habits. Meaning I didn't get any. Judith was still in my arms, Rick still had his arm wrapped around me, and now Carl was lying against my legs. I was officially unable to move. Sighing, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. I never could. Not when I felt so unsafe.

"Can't sleep either?" Abraham said, breaking the silence, my eyes drifting to him.

"Anything could be in these woods." I told him. "I just…don't want to be caught off guard."

He nodded, "I understand the feeling. Been there myself."

"No offense, but you don't know me. Or anything about me." I replied, gently shifting my men so I could get free.

Resting Judith in Rick's lap, he instinctively embraced her, making me smile as I stepped away from them, moving from the group. Going up to Tara, I relieved her for watch and told her to get some sleep. Keeping my eyes in every direction, I wasn't alone long before Abraham stepped up to me.

"Didn't mean anything by it." He told me.

"I'm not taking offense." I smiled at him.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." He replied. I just raised a brow at him. "To help pass the time."

"My story is not something I just give out to everyone who crosses our path." I stated. "And something tells me that you don't really want to tell me your story."

"No." He replied. "I don't."

Nodding, I walked from one end of the group to the other, dipping into the trees to make a circle around them. Everyone was sleeping but the two of us. Trust was hard to come by but our family wasn't lacking in that aspect. I just wished I could sleep as well as they were. I _longed_ for a good night's sleep.

"You should crash for a while." He told me as I came back around.

"So should you." I replied, raising a brow.

He smirked, "Yeah, well, I'm used to not sleeping."

"Me, too."

He laughed lightly, "You are stubborn."

"I'm a Taurus. Of course I'm stubborn." I smiled at him.

"Still." Abraham nodded, "You should sleep."

"Thanks but no thanks." I replied.

"Really, woman?" He grinned at me.

Laughing, I nodded, "I am more stubborn than anyone you'll meet. And I can be far more childish than I should be."

He nodded again, still grinning at me. He was tall and burly and red headed with those mutton chops that I would have loved to shave off. He had entertaining speech and was the type of person I would expect to survive in a world like this. He was military. He was fun and it was hard not to like him. At the same time I felt like he could be brutal. He had a plan and despite everything that had happened I was pretty sure he was going to stick to it.

Since neither of us was budging, we settled for making conversation. We were quiet, making rounds to keep our family safe, also not wanting to wake them. Sitting in the middle of the road, we were facing each other, keeping an eye in either direction. Nothing was happening but the dead could come at any moment. Or worse…the living.

"So, you and Rick, huh?" Abraham said with a smirk.

"So, you and Rosita, huh?" I countered.

He chuckled and nodded at me, "She's a good woman."

Looking over at her, she was sleeping. She was fair skinned with kind eyes and a slender build. She was beautiful. "She is."

"You agree but you don't know us very well." He replied.

"I've talked to her a little."

"When you can tear yourself away from Rick and his kids."

"Enough." I frowned at him. "Stop trying to make it sound like I'm doing something I shouldn't. I've found someone who I can fall in love with. Rick is an extraordinary guy and to have him even partially reciprocate those feelings is everything. The world is fucked and to have him and the rest of my family – our family – that he started and allowed me to be a part of. That is worth living for. That is worth fighting for. It's worth everything."

He smiled and nodded, "I think you're right."

"Thank you." I nodded at him.

"And I don't think he partially reciprocates anything." He added. "I'd say he's about as fond of you as a person can be."

Smiling, I shook my head at him, "I don't think we're there yet. But if we ever get there I'd feel pretty lucky."

His smile grew, "You're there."

He got up and walked away from me. Then I heard someone behind me and I felt my cheeks flush. Looking up, Rick sat in front of me. Even with his unkempt hair and his ever growing beard, he was still a handsome man. I could barely see his lips underneath the mess of his beard and yet all I wanted in this moment was to have them against mine.

"Hi." I smiled at him.

"Hi." He replied, smiling as he nodded at me.

He gripped my legs and pulled me to him, putting them on either side of him. There was hardly any space between us as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me even closer to him. Taking his head in my hands, I rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs, loving the crinkles at the corners of his eyes as he smiled at me. Leaning in, I slowly brought my lips to his, kissing him softly. He chuckled before his hand was against the back of my head, kissing me deeply and passionately.

"I wish we were anywhere but here." He told me softly. "Some privacy would be nice."

"At some point I'm not going to care anymore." I replied and laughed lightly.

"There's nothing partial between us." He added. "Okay?"

"Okay." I smiled and kissed him again.

It was still early and everyone was still sleeping. Abraham had moved to where Rosita was, sitting next to her. He looked exhausted, his eyes on us with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye. This was a rare moment. The world didn't allow many moments like this. Too much time was spent simply surviving that to be able to just be together felt like a gift. I was falling for this man and I wanted nothing more than to just _be_ with him. Him and his children and the family that he had successfully kept together. Even our home being destroyed, making us scatter to the winds, couldn't keep us apart. We were a family. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

I found love when I thought it was impossible.

A family when I thought they didn't exist anymore.

A home without four walls and a roof.

These people.

They were home.


	28. Respite

**Chapter Twenty-eight: Respite**

As soon as everyone was up, we all ate and drank, being sure we were rationing, before we started to walk again. Without a destination, all we could do was walk, and walk, and walk. It seemed never ending. The road just kept going and we just kept walking. I was thankful that the weather hadn't been overly hot since it made traveling easier. So far we weren't losing all our water to sweat and we hadn't come across any hordes of walkers. The ones we did come across were more than manageable. Taking turns so we didn't wear ourselves out. It left a lot of time to talk. Talking and walking. Two things I was more than happy to do. Especially now that we were all back together. It was proof that nothing was going to keep us apart.

"You're lyin'." Daryl smirked down at me.

"Why would I lie?" I smiled at him.

"I don't know. Sounds disgusting to me." He replied.

Scoffing, I raised a brow at him, "You asked. And you've done way more disgusting things."

"Nah." He replied. "I don't find pleasure it cutting into pus filled things just to watch them drain."

"Abscesses." I stated. "And you can't say it isn't fun until you try it."

"You're damn weird." He said and nudged me hard.

Laughing, nearly hitting a tree, he yanked me back to him. "And proud of it." He smiled and draped his arm across my shoulders. "Besides, I didn't become a vet tech because I couldn't handle gross things. I became one because I can."

He shook his head at me. "You're one of a kind, Caroline."

"I know." I told him and laughed, only this time he intentionally shoved me into the path of a tree. Hitting it, I slammed to the ground, laughing before I found myself being picked back up. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Tyreese smiled at me.

"Asshole!" I called after Daryl. He just turned and flicked me off. Laughing again, I shook my head.

Tyreese laughed as well, "At least you can find something to be happy about."

"What's not to be happy about?" I smiled up at him. "We're alive and together, aren't we?"

Another arm draped across my shoulders and I was pulled away from him. "Exactly!" Bob exclaimed. "That's what I keep saying. Everyone is trying so hard to be down about things, but…we are all alive." He beamed.

"Leaving no excuse not to be happy." I stated and laughed again. He turned and pointed at Sasha. She smiled and shook her head at him. Falling back, I hooked arms with her, putting my chin on top of her shoulder. "He is a keeper." I told her. "And he is head over heels for you." I added. "He makes you smile and that is a beautiful thing." She grinned and met my eyes. "A beautiful thing for a beautiful thing." I stated, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you." She told me.

"I only speak the truth." I grinned.

She laughed and nodded. "A gift and a curse."

"No words have ever been truer." I said and laughed.

Talking and laughing with her, Bob returned to occupy her time, making me move on. Seeing Michonne with Rick, Carol with Daryl, there was only two that were walking alone. Moving to Carl's side, I took Judith from him, wrapping my arm around his neck, pulling him to me so I could press a kiss against his cheek.

"Linny." He smirked at me.

"How are you holding up?" I asked as Judith bounced against my hip. Shifting her, she nestled against my chest. "You okay?" I added when he didn't say anything.

"Yeah, just…tired of walking." He replied.

Smiling, I nodded at him, "Yeah, but at least we all like each other." He gave me a look. "What?" I laughed and nudged him. "We do. This is the time we get to know each other."

"Just because you can talk to anyone doesn't mean we're all getting to know each other." He smiled.

"Well, maybe you should. Go talk to Abraham. He's an interesting guy." I told him. He gave me another look. "Take after me in this moment." I added. "Talk to everyone."

"Whatever you say, _Mom_." He smiled up at me.

Laughing, I nodded at him, "I thought that was kind of nice."

He put his arm around me, making me do the same, "I thought so, too."

"Not sure how your dad would feel about it, but…I liked the sound of it." I smiled at him. He smiled but bowed his head. "I know I'm not your mom, Carl. No one will ever be able to replace her."

"Well, you are with my dad." He stated.

I nodded, "I am. That still doesn't mean that I'm your mother and I would never pressure you like that."

"I know." He nodded and looked up at me. "I think I'll stick with Linny for right now."

Smiling, I rubbed his arm, "I'm more than okay with that."

"Someday maybe."

"Any day works for me." I nodded at him.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Then Rick was at my side, "It's like I haven't seen you all day."

"You've had company." I smiled at him.

He smirked at me, "Is that a tone of jealousy?"

Laughing lightly, I shook my head, "I trust you, baby."

He smiled and leaned in to me, kissing me quickly, "Good."

"Tell him 'one more'." Bob whispered in my ear. "Works for me."

Laughing, I looked at him, Sasha laughing and nodding at me. Then I looked up at Rick, "One more." He chuckled, his arm finding my waist, pulling me too him as he kissed me properly. "You're right. It works." I called to the couple behind us, hearing laughter.

"I'm gonna go hunting." Daryl told us before slipping into the woods.

I looked at Carol and she smiled sadly at me. Looking up at Rick, I pressed a kiss against his cheek, "I'm gonna go with him."

"Be safe." Rick smiled. "Though I will require more than five minutes later."

Grinning at him, I held his eyes for a long moment, "I'll be sure to give you ten."

His smile grew and I suddenly didn't want to leave him, but I also felt the need to take care of Daryl. He would never admit to needing it but we all needed to be taken care of. If we wanted to survive, we couldn't do it alone.

"Wait up." I told him, jogging to catch up to him.

"What are ya doin'?" He asked with a hint of annoyance.

"You can't always go off on your own." I told him matter-of-factly.

He sighed, "Sometimes it's nice."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're not out here just to hunt?" I frowned at him.

He stopped and turned to me, momentarily chewing on his lip as he looked at me. "Carol and I thought we heard someone in the woods last night."

"I didn't hear anything." I frowned at him.

"Well, we did." He countered.

Sighing, I nodded at him, "So we're looking for proof?" He nodded. "Then you might as well accept that I'm with you."

"Only you're not with me." He told me with a surprisingly cold tone.

"Hey." I frowned, gripping his arm, forcing him to stop. "What's with the attitude?"

"Nothin'." He said and pulled from my grip.

"Daryl Dixon." I frowned at him.

"Caroline Whedon." He smirked back at me.

Shoving him, we kept moving, looking for any proof that someone had been here. But I couldn't find anything. It didn't seem like he did either, though he did kill enough squirrels to put something in our stomachs. He was the reason we'd make it out here. He was the best hunter I knew. He was irreplaceable in so many ways.

"Ready?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I nodded, finishing filling up my water bottle. Offering it to him, he took a long drink. Refilling it once more, I stood and smiled at him. "Will you do me a huge favor and tell me what you're really thinking and feeling?" I asked him as we started to walk.

"I'm fine, Linny." He told me.

"You're not." I replied sadly. "Something is going on with you."

"Nah. Ain't nothin'."

I sighed, "You're annoying."

He smiled at me, "Almost as much as you are."

Grinning at him, I wrapped my arm around him, "I still love you."

"Good." He said and pressed a kiss against my forehead. "Love you, too."

Following the tracks and sounds of the others, we found them once again, nothing seeming to have happened since we left. Though we hadn't been gone as long as we could have been. Both of us moving toward Rick.

"Hey." Rick said wrapping his arm around me. "You two okay?'

"Yeah." I smiled up at him. "Everyone here?"

"Nothing happened."

"Good."

He gently rubbed my side before looking between me and Daryl, "We're going to find a road and head north until we can find a ride."

"Okay." I nodded at him.

Before anything else could be said, there was a man calling for help. "Help! Help, anybody! Help!"

"Rick." I said and looked in the direction.

"Dad, come on." Carl said as the man continued to scream. "Come on! Come on."

"Carl." I said and swiftly followed behind him.

"Linny." He said as I moved in front of him, putting my arm across him. "Come on."

"Anyone, help! Help!" The man was yelling, only the closer we got, we could hear the sound of walkers as well. "Help! Help! Help! Anybody, help! Help!"

The man kept screaming for help. Running now, Carl and I were the first to reach him, seeing a man on top of a boulder with walkers encircling him. Looking at Carl, he pulled out his knife. Nodding at him, I did the same, looking over my shoulder to see Rick and Daryl and everyone else coming up behind us. Rushing into the small clearing, I stabbed a walker in the head, the ones on either side of me now turning toward me. Shoving one, I stabbed the other, spinning to see an arrow imbed in its brain. Killing another, the others had taken out the rest, leaving the clearing now quiet.

"We're clear. Keep watch." Rick said, watching as Abraham and Rosita disappeared into the woods. As well as Bob, Sasha, and Tyreese. Rick looked up at the man. "Come on down." The man obliged, looking nauseous. "You okay?"

"Sorry." He replied. He was black, wearing all black, only he had a white collar. He was a fucking priest. "Yes. Thank you. I'm Gabriel."

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick asked him.

"Do I look like I would have any weapons?" The priest replied.

"Try again." I shot at him with a hard tone.

"We don't give two shot of curlies what it looks like." Abraham told him the same way.

"I have no weapons of any kind." Gabriel replied. "The word of God is the only protection I need."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Are you serious right now?"

"Sure didn't look like it." Daryl added.

"I called for help. Help came." He replied. We all just looked at him with skeptical expressions. I wasn't sure of him, let alone the rest of us. "Do you have – have any food? Whatever I – I had left, it just hit the ground."

"We've got some pecans." Carol told him, pulling some from her pocket, offering them to him.

It was a nice offer and Gabriel didn't hesitate to take them. "Thank you." Judith cooed in Carl's arms and Gabriel smiled at her, "That's a beautiful child." Rick just looked at him. "Do you have a camp?"

"No." Rick replied with a hard tone. "Do you?"

"I have a church." Gabriel replied.

Rick was clearly getting annoyed with him. "Hold your hands above you head." Gabriel listened and Rick started to pat him down. "How many walkers have you killed?"

"Not any, actually." He replied.

"Turn around." Rick told him, forcing him to. "How many people have you killed?"

"None."

"Why?" He asked taking a step back.

"Because the Lord abhors violence."

"What have you done?" Rick asked. Gabriel clearly was holding back. Even if he answered truthfully, there was still something he wasn't saying. He wasn't saying anything and he was clearly nervous. "We've all done something."

"I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day." Gabriel stated. "But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."

"We just saved your life." I stated.

Michonne was at my side, her hand finding my shoulder, "You said you had a church?"

Gabriel nodded and started to walk. Looking up at Rick, he nodded before the rest of us started to follow him. I didn't know what to think about this. For a man of God he seemed awfully secretive. Secrets would get us killed. For all we knew he was leading us to a hoard of walkers. I'd already played that game. Ray was killed because of it. I didn't feel like facing one again if I could help it.

"Hey, earlier, were you watching us?" Rick asked Gabriel.

"I keep to myself." He replied. "Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?"

Daryl looked at him, "Nah, people are worse."

"Agreed." I added with a raised brow.

"Well, I wasn't watching you." Gabriel retorted. "I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I've gone before today." He paused, a small smile crossing his face. "Or maybe I'm lying. Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's not church ahead at all. Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels."

I knew it was meant to be funny, but all it did was put me on edge, my hand gripping the hilt of my knife. Neither Rick nor Daryl looked amused in the slightest. Gabriel did a double-take at our expressions, instantly sobering.

"Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to be desired." He stated.

"Yeah, it does." Daryl replied.

Reaching the church, it was the typical white with a tiny porch and three steps leading up into it. It was 'T' shaped, the steeple coming to a point in the sky. I looked at the sign, reading: St. Sarah's Church Episcopal. The doors were the only part of it that was the natural color. It was quaint, but it would do. It was safer than the woods.

"Hold up." Rick told Gabriel as he moved to go in. "Can we take a look around first? We just want to hold on to our squirrels."

Laughing lightly, I stepped up next to him, pulling my knife free as I looked at Gabriel. He looked between us before nodding. Rick let us in, seeing rows of pews and several lights hung from the vaulted ceiling. Passing along the side with Glenn, we moved into an office with a bathroom. There was art on the walls. Amazing Grace in script form. The Last Supper. Moving to Glenn's side, we lightly paged through sheets of paper where Gabriel had been writing out the Bible. I ran my fingers along the words. I'd gone to Catholic school K-6. After that it was religious education. Confirmation. I'd been around religion all my life and yet I felt detached from it. How could you not with the way the world was?

"Come on." Glenn said touching my arm.

Leaving the room, I looked up at the stained glass behind the altar. There was a small barrier between it and the rest of the room, frowning as I took in an assortment of empty cans all along the floor. Glenn didn't follow and I went back to him, seeing hand drawn and colored pictures of something in flames. Bible pictures. Then we looked at a picture on the wall, reading: And let us not grow weary of doing good. For in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9.

Meeting his eyes, I smiled, putting my hand against his face and pressed a kiss against his cheek, "Come on."

We didn't find anything hidden or otherwise. The church was empty. Going back to Rick, he whistled and the rest started to come in. Carl was swiftly moving toward us, bouncing Judith in front of me as I grinned at her, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

"Linny." Rick said softly.

Looking up at him, I nodded, "I know."

He nodded back at me. He was anxious. So was I. This was either a gift or a curse. Either way, I didn't trust Gabriel in the slightest. Even if he had been honest with us. There was still something he wasn't saying.

"I spent months here without stepping out the front door." Gabriel told us. "If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising."

"Thanks for this." Carl told him kindly.

He was being very kind. He was so much kinder then he had been. I was proud of him. At the same time I was terrified for him. Rick moved to the entrance where some were still standing outside. I leaned against the railing just outside the door, crossing my arms as I watched everyone. There was mixed feelings, making me feel on edge.

"We found a short bus out back." Abraham told Rick. "It don't run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn't want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport. You understand what's at stake here, right?"

Rick nodded, "Yes, I do."

"Now that we can take a breath –" Michonne started.

"We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down." Abraham interrupted.

Michonne stepped toward them, "We need supplies no matter what we do next."

"That's right." Daryl added. "Water, food, ammunition. Short bus ain't going nowhere. Bring you back some baked beans."

"One way or another, we're doing what Rick does. We're not splitting up again." Glenn told him. He stepped up the stairs, pausing in front of me. "You okay?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"What is it?" He frowned. I just smiled at him. He nodded, bringing his hand up, brushing my cheek with his thumb before he stepped inside.

"What he said." Tara said following Glenn in.

"We want to roll with you, but…what she said." Bob told him next. Sasha smiled and nodded, following him into the church.

Abraham looked up at me, smiling, "I don't think I need to ask you where you stand."

"What if you're wrong?" I asked him. "What if you make the trip and all hell breaks loose and nothing changes?"

"It's worth the risk." He told me. "Don't you want things to go back to the way they were?"

I thought a moment, smiling at him, "No."

"No?" He asked with raised brows.

"I miss the internet. I miss my movie collection." I told him as I stepped down the stairs. "I miss my laptop. My bed." Pausing, I smiled at him fondly. "But the way the world was? Not so much. Don't you think the world was a bit broken before?"

"And this way is better?" He shot at me.

"No." I finally told him. "I guess not." Going back inside, I went to Rick, taking Judith from his arms. "Hey, sweet pea." I told her, pressing my lips to her cheek.

"You okay?" Rick asked.

"Yeah." I smiled at him.

He pressed his lips to my forehead before turning to Gabriel. "How'd you survive here for so long? Where did your supplies come from?"

"Luck." Gabriel replied. "Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me."

"Come here, Judith." Carl said softly, taking his sister from my arms.

"The food lasted a long time." Gabriel added. "And then I started scavenging. I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one."

"What kept you from it?" Rick asked.

"It's overrun."

"How many?"

"A dozen or so. Maybe more."

Smiling, I met Rick's eyes as he looked at me and the others, nodding, "We can handle a dozen."

"Bob and I will go with you." Sasha said stepping toward him. "Tyreese should stay here, help keep Judith safe."

"That'll be okay?" Rick asked Tyreese.

"Sure. You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I'm right here." Tyreese told him.

"I'm grateful for it. And everything else." Rick smiled.

Gabriel nodded, "I'll draw you a map."

"You don't need to." Rick stated. "You're coming with us."

The priest looked panicked. He was a coward. He's lucky we found him. He probably deserved to be dead. "I'm not gonna be of any help. You saw me. I'm no good around those things."

"You're coming with us." Rick stated matter-of-factly.

Everyone started to move, leaving Carl, Rick, and I alone for the moment. Sitting in the pew in front of Carl, Rick squatted in front of his son.

"I'm gonna stay, too." I told Rick.

He nodded, "I'm okay with that."

"You sure?" I asked as I ran my fingers through his hair.

He took my hand, pressing a kiss against my palm, "I'll feel better about it actually." Smiling, I leaned down and kissed him. Then he looked at Carl. "Listen, I don't trust this guy."

Carl frowned, "Why?"

"Why do you trust him?"

"Everyone can't be bad." Carl stated.

I raised a brow, "He has a point." But then I looked at Carl. "Though I don't trust him either."

"Well…I don't trust this guy. We don't." Rick added and looked at me. "And that's why I'm bringing him with me. But he could have friends. So I need you to stay alert and help Linny and Tyreese protect Judith, okay?" Carl nodded. "Now…I need you to hear what I'm about to say."

"Okay."

"You are not safe." Rick told him with seriousness. "No matter how many people are around or how clear the area looks, no matter what anyone says, no matter what you think, you are not safe. It only takes one second. One second and it's over. Never let your guard down, ever. I want you to promise me."

Carl looked up at me. I nodded, giving him a sad expression. He looked back at his dad. "I promise."

"Okay." Rick told him before his eyes were on me. "You promise me, too."

Smiling, I nodded, "I promise you, Rick."

He stood, leaning over and kissed me deeply. "Be safe."

"You just made me promise to never feel safe."

He smirked and cocked his head, "You know what I meant."

Laughing lightly, I took his face in my hands and kissed him passionately. "I promise you that we will be safe. I won't let anything happen to your children."

"I'm more worried about something happening to you." He replied, making me frown at him. "You're reckless. You're stubborn. You'll put yourself in front of them and I can't let you do that."

"You won't be here to stop me." I replied. His expression grew serious. "Baby, I will not risk myself. The only reason I would, would be for your kids."

"It won't happen." Carl said standing. "Okay?"

"See?" I said putting my arm around him. "We've got it all under control." He sighed, "We'll be okay, Rick. All of us will be anxiously awaiting your return."

He nodded and held his hand out to me. Taking it, he gently pulled me to him wrapping me in his arms as his lips met mine. Wrapping my arm around his neck, placing my hand against his chest, I leaned into him.

"Please be careful." I told him with seriousness. "Please, Rick."

"I will, Linny." He nodded.

"I really am going to be anxiously waiting for you to get back." I stated. "Please come back in one piece."

He kissed me sweetly, his lips lingering against mine, whispering, "I will, baby."

It took me a long moment before letting him go. He took a step away from me, staring. Smiling, I nodded at him, trying not to feel as emotional as I wanted to. Putting my arm around Carl, I took a deep breath before watching him start to walk away.

"Dad." Carl called to him. He turned back to him. "You're right. I am strong. We both are. But we're strong enough that we can still help people. And we can handle ourselves if things go wrong. And we're strong enough that we don't have to be afraid and we don't have to hide."

"That's right, sweetie." I told him softly as I pressed a kiss into his hair.

"Well, he's hiding something." Rick told him.

"We'll stay safe, Dad." He told him.

Rick nodded, "All right."

Watching him walk away, I twitched to follow him, stopping myself before looking down at Carl, nodding at him.

"Go." He smiled at me.

"What?" I frowned. "No. I said I was staying here."

"You want to go. So, go." He said and gently nudged me forward.

I just furrowed my brows at him, "You sure?"

"Go." He said and laughed lightly.

Smiling, I hugged him, pressing a hard kiss against his cheek before I was running from the church. Swiftly joining them, I threw myself against Daryl's side, gripping tight to his arm. He looked down at me for a moment before he attacked my neck, making me shriek and laugh loudly. His arm was firmly around my waist as I attempted to push him away from me. In the end, my arm was around him as well, laughing while he grinned down at me fondly.

Then I realized all the eyes that were on us, "What?" I asked.

Rick stopped, falling in step next to me as he looked at Daryl, "I thought you were staying behind."

"I changed my mind." I smiled at him.

"Why?" He asked.

Daryl scoffed and moved away from us, moving to where Carol was waiting for him. Moving my arm around him, I leaned into his side, "Is it okay that I came?"

He nodded, "Yeah. I just wasn't expecting you."

I smiled up at him, "As soon as you were out of sight I knew that I really didn't want to stay."

"Not even for the kids?" He smirked.

"I like being with you." I told him, leaning up and kissed him.

He smiled down at me, "I like being with you, too."

Stopping him, I wrapped my arm around his neck, my other hand against his face as I kissed him properly. "I'm deeming us better together than apart." I told him.

He kissed me again, "I'd agree with that." I leaned further against him. "But you know we can't always be together."

"I know." I told him, deflating a little.

"We need to be just as effective apart as we are together."

"I know." I repeated.

He nodded, wrapping his arm around me as we started to walk again. Catching up to the others, Gabriel lead us through the town. Like most others, there were a lot of brick buildings. A maze of alley's as we weaved through them. Staying close to Rick, Bob came up on his other side, a knowing look on his face.

"Hey. When you said they don't get to live, you weren't wrong." He told him. "We push ourselves and let things go. Then we let some more go and then some more. And pretty soon, there's things we can't get back. Things we couldn't hold on to even if we tried." He paused, his tone kind and yet certain. "Washington's gonna happen, Rick."

"I haven't decided if we're going." Rick told him.

"Yeah, I know, and that's cool." He replied. "But you've seen Abraham in action. He's gonna get there and Eugene's gonna cure all this and you're gonna find yourself in a place where it's like how it used to be. And if you've let too much go along the way, that's not gonna work. 'Cause you're gonna be back in the real world."

Smiling at him, I wanted him to keep going. I liked what he was saying. But I knew that Rick wouldn't see it that way. He had come to terms with the world and I didn't think he'd know what to do if it all went back to the way it was.

"This is the real world, Bob." Rick replied.

I knew it.

"Nah." Bob smiled. "This is a nightmare and nightmares end." Rick gave him a disbelieving look. "I'm sorry. I'm calling it. Washington's gonna happen. You're gonna say yes. Already too much momentum. You can't fight city hall. Maybe that's just one of those parts of not letting go."

Smiling, I couldn't help but stare at the man. He met my eyes and winked at me. "I think we need to find some radio and you need to repeat that like a dozen times a day." I told him. "That was beautiful. I'm gonna have to write that one down."

Bob laughed, "Just saying what I think."

"I like the way you think." I replied.

"I do, too." Sasha said and swiftly pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He looked down at her, "One more."

She beamed up at him affectionately before kissing him properly. Grinning at them, I met Rick's eyes but he was just looking at me like I'd gone mental. "It's a nice thought." I told him.

"Doesn't change anything." He replied. "This is the world now."

"Rick." I frowned at him.

"I'm sorry, Linny. But that's what I believe."

"Well, I don't." I frowned at him. "I may not fully believe Eugene but what Bob just said is nothing but truth. You need to accept that. Accept it or you are going to lose yourself and everyone else."

I moved away from him, falling in step next to Michonne. She smiled at me, hooking her arm with mine, "You don't look very happy."

"Did you hear all that?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yup."

"And what do you think?"

"I'm with you." She replied. "Now and forever."

Smiling, I momentarily rested my head against her shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you."

Still following the priest we slowed as we came up to a big white brink building. It was a food bank, which made sense for having supplies and that enough people would have been here to overrun it.

"We're here. This was the food bank. It served the whole county. All the cans at my church were gonna end up here." Gabriel told us.

We all pulled out our guns, ready for anything once we stepped inside. Going in, the entryway looked like it seconded as an office, opening up into a room that the goods had been stored in. Right now there was a shit ton of clothes.

Keeping moving, we came to a hole in the floor full of water and walkers. The worst part was the smell that was coming up from it. The sewer had backed up. We could see shit floating in the water. Meaning the walkers were not only waterlogged and rotting but they were soaking up shit and piss.

"Disgusting." I whispered to myself.

"If a sewer could puke, this is what it'd smell like." Bob stated.

Laughing, I nodded at him, "More like a giant bout of diarrhea."

He laughed and nodded. Michonne was looking up, making me follow her line of sight, seeing holes in the ceiling. "The water's been coming down that hole for a while. Slimed this place up good."

"So, this is what it looks like if you're in water too long." I frowned as I took in the walkers down below. They looked like they were melting, their skin sagging from their bones. "Thank God we're not going down there." I smirked.

"We can use the shelves to block them." Sasha stated.

I frowned at her, "We're going down there, aren't we?"

Sasha nodded, "Yup."

"Yeah, that's it, Sasha. There's our way. Down those shelves." Rick stated.

"Baby." I frowned at him.

"Afraid?" He smirked, starting to disarm.

Sighing, I set my gun down, pulling the other from the back of my pants, as well as all the magazines I had. "Of course not. I'm not a wuss. I simply don't want to smell like they do."

"Get over it." He smirked.

"Asshole." I smirked back.

We took all our weapons off, keeping a knife each. Gabriel watched us looking extremely uneasy.

"Hey. I said you're coming with us." Rick told him.

"Don't look so scared, priest." I smirked at him. "We won't let you die."

He just looked at me with horror, starting to shake as we all started to enter the hole, using the shelves as we lowered ourselves as quietly as possible. As soon as we were in the water, we pulled the shelves together, blocking the dead from reaching us. At the same time it felt like we were putting ourselves in a cage. I hated that feeling. I'd been in one too many cages.

"I see three here. You got it?" Rick said as we all got ready to kill them.

The walkers were reaching through the gaps in the racks. Gripping the shoulder of one, I stabbed it through its head, letting it fall back and grabbed another. Hearing the sound of knives entering and leaving skulls, there was a whimpering and the sound of small cries. Turning, Gabriel had moved out of the protection of the racks and the walkers were quickly noticing.

"Gabriel!" I called, moving after him. "Shit." I said as he moved toward the steps, gripping them only to have them break free and fall into the water. "Gabriel, stop." I said reaching him, he was freaking out. "Come on." Turning, the dead were moving toward us. "If we die I'm blaming you." I shot at him, holding up my hands, my knife ready.

"Linny!" Rick called.

A woman was moving toward us and from the whimpering coming from behind me, and the expression on his face as I glanced at him; it was obvious that he knew her. He gripped on to my arm as she got closer, making it hard for me to raise my arm.

"Let go, Gabriel." I told him as she got even closer. "Let go!" Watching as she came closer, I was starting to feel panicked.

In the next second, Rick had grabbed her, slamming her face into one of the shelf beams. It didn't take long before her face caved and he let her fall into the water. Gabriel let me go and I swiftly turned and punched him.

"What the hell?!" I yelled at him. Turning to Rick, he put his hand against my face. "I'm okay." I nodded at him.

Turning back to the others, it was quiet, making us feel like we got them. Moving toward Bob and the others, he smiled at me, making nod and return it. His smile grew, only then I watched him go under. Yelling his name, in the next second my ankle was grabbed and I was swiftly pulled beneath the surface. Reaching for anything, fingers were against mine before I was pulled away from them. Still holding my knife, I reached down, momentarily feeling a mouth, jerking my hand back before stabbing it through its head.

I was released, breaking the surface, an arm immediately around my waist and I was yanked backward, hitting Rick's chest. "Rick." I said as I turned and wrapped my arms around him.

"Linny." He said gripping me tightly.

Taking his head in my hands, I kissed him deeply, "I'm okay."

"You sure?" He asked with worry.

I nodded, turning to Sasha and Bob, "You guys okay?"

"Yeah." Sasha said gripping him tightly.

Rick nodded, "Let's load up and get the hell out of here."

It took longer than I was comfortable with, but we managed to get all the food out of the hole. Emptying plastic totes, we filled them up with food, finding carts to take them back to the church with.

As soon as we were all loaded, Rick moved to me, putting his hand against my face, "You sure you're okay?"

I nodded at him, "Yeah, baby, I'm okay." He nodded at me, still looking worried. "You can give me a thorough examination later."

He chuckled and pressed a kiss against my forehead, "I just might."

Then Gabriel stepped up to us, making Rick glare at him. "I'm sorry. I – I panicked. I told you I'm –"

"You knew her when she was alive?" He asked him, not getting a response. "Yeah, I get it. You only tell your sins to God."

Starting out, everyone was helping push the carts, making it as smooth as possible. The dirt roads weren't very friendly to the small wheels and there was plenty of weight on top of them, sinking into soft soil. But now we had enough food to last us a good long while. To last a journey like the one that Abraham was asking us to take.

"You really okay?" I asked Bob as I helped push.

He smiled at me, "Yeah, Caroline, I'm okay."

I nodded, smiling back at him, "Good."

"Are you?"

"Yeah." I nodded, looking at where Rick and Michonne were. "I'm better than okay."

He followed my line of sight, smiling wider, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I replied quickly.

"Don't let Sasha go hard." He said with his eyes locked onto her.

"Why would I have to worry about that if you're okay?" I asked him. He smiled down at me, his expression telling me all I needed to know. Sighing, I nodded at him, fighting the tears that were already threatening to fall.

"Please don't." He said with a whisper, the smile still on his face.

I took a deep steadying breath, nodding at him, "I promise."

"You have a good heart and a good sense of humor. She needs that." He went on, making me nod as I clenched my jaw, still trying not to cry. "It's gonna be okay." He said nudging me. "We can't all survive this."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, one tear managing to escape before I quickly wiped it away. "Yeah, but your death was supposed to be legendary. Not because of a food run."

He laughing lightly, "Legendary, huh?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "You were supposed to die in the heat of battle with some hilarious pun rolling off your tongue. You were supposed to go out in a blaze of glory."

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." He told me softly.

"Yes!" I exclaimed making everyone look at me. "Sorry." I said as I looked between everyone. "He just…said something that I liked."

Bob laughed loudly, shaking his head at me, "This is why I like you."

"I'm going down in a blaze of glory." I sang softly. "Take me now but know the truth."

"I'm going down in a blaze of glory." Bob sang back. "And, Lord, I never drew first but I drew first blood. I'm no one's son, call me young gun."

I beamed up at him, "You are my new favorite person."

He laughed and wrapped his arm around me, then he became serious though the smile remained on his face, "I don't think I have to ask you to keep what to know to yourself."

"Of course not." I told him. "I know you'll do what you have to do before it gets too bad."

"I just need a little time." He replied seeing Sasha stop and wait for him.

"You have it." I told him, nudging him before I stepped away from him, momentarily hugging Sasha as I passed her. Moving to Rick and Michonne, I wrapped my arms around them, leaning against Rick as I smiled at Michonne. "Hi." I smiled at her.

She smiled back, "Hi."

"You're in a good mood." Rick smirked at me.

Leaned up, I gently pressed my lips to his, "I am."

"Do you miss the sword?" Rick asked Michonne.

She looked at him, "Wasn't really mine in the first place. Found it in the very beginning."

"How'd you get so good?" He asked next.

"She's just awesome like that." I smirked, hooking my arm through hers before taking her place at pushing the cart.

She smiled and looked at Rick, "It was just me and them out here all day, every day, for a good long time. I don't know what that was, but it wasn't a life. Not like today. Stumbling around in three feet of slime for some peas and carrots, that's living." We all chuckled before she grew serious again. "I miss Andrea. I miss Hershel."

"I miss Ray." I added as I smiled softly at her.

"Yeah."

"I don't miss what was before." Michonne told him. "I don't miss that sword."

"I almost miss before." I told them, getting them both to look at me. "I didn't care about anyone back then. I didn't care about anything." Meeting Rick's eyes, I cocked my head, offering a small smile, "It was easier that way."

"Yeah, well, you have me now." He replied matter-of-factly.

"You have us." Michonne added with a smile.

I laughed lightly, smiling, "Yes, I do."

Talking on and off, listening to the woods, knowing that we couldn't let our guard down, we finally made it back to the church. Going in, I looked around and saw everyone but Carl. Rick was with Tyreese and Judith while I turned and left, seeing Abraham working on the truck. Walking over to him, I kicked his foot, narrowly missing his leg swinging out to trip me, laughing as I darted away from him, seeing Carl at the side of the church. Swiftly moving to him, I wrapped my arms around him from behind, hugging him tightly to me.

"Hey, sweetie." I smiled, kissing his cheek.

"Mom." He smiled back.

"I thought you were going to stick with 'Linny' for now?" I asked him.

"I like 'Mom' better." He replied. "It has a nice ring to it."

Laughing lightly, I let him go, gripping his shoulders as I looked at the side of the church. "Huh." I said with furrowed brows.

"Hey." Rick said joining us. "Tyreese said you were out back. Come on in. We found food. A lot of it."

"Good." Carl told him, both of us still staring at the wall.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Those scratches." Carl said touching them. "They're deep. Like knives or something. Someone was trying to get in." He looked up at his dad. "I found something else." He started to lead us to the back of the church. "I don't know what happened, but whatever it is, we can handle it. Doesn't mean Gabriel is a bad guy for sure, but it means something."

YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS was etched into the wood.

"Damn." I said and looked at Rick.

He was thinking the same thing, nodding at me. I nodded before looking at him sideways, shaking my head a little. He shifted and shook his head before nodding again. Putting my hand on Carl's shoulder, he looked up between the two of us.

"Guys." He said. "I can still figure out what you're saying even if you're not saying anything."

Grinning, I wrapped my arm around him, "You're so smart."

"S-M-R-T." He smirked.

Laughing, I gently shoved him, "Exactly." Rick just looked at us. "It's an inside joke thing." I told him.

"It's a mother and son sort of thing." Carl stated before walking away.

Rick stayed in front of me. I shrugged at him, "I didn't start it. That's on him."

"But you're okay with it?" He frowned at me.

I smiled, taking his face in my hands, "How could I not be? I plan on being with his father for a good long while."

He smiled and kissed me, deeply. "You sure?"

"Rick." I said running my fingers through his hair. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life." I told him. "For now at least." I added and smirked at him.

He gripped my side, making me jerk away from him, only to have him yank me back against his chest, his lips meeting mine. I didn't know if it was too soon or not but I felt like I was falling in love with this man. There was something about him and even though when I met him, I hated him, I let him in, and now I couldn't imagine my life without him. Not anymore.

Going back in, we all talked as we organized the food, digging into it as the sun started to set. All the baked beans, green beans, canned fruit, and the works, filling our stomachs until we couldn't anymore. To make it even better, Gabriel allowed us to drink the communion wine. I loved wine and I laughed my ass off as Carol told me of when Glenn got drunk off the wine in the CDC. I hadn't heard it before and it had me just rolling, Maggie along with me. We talked and talked and talked. Eating and drinking. Happiness was filling the room.

When the conversation started to die down, I moved to where Rick was sitting. Judith was in his lap and Carl was sitting next to him. Sitting down, I leaned against Rick as I took Judith's hand, grinning at her; she leaned forward, practically hitting her head against mine. Laughing, I pressed a kiss against her forehead, resting my head against her father's shoulder. He turned his head, pressing his lips against my forehead.

"I'd like to propose a toast." Abraham stated, breaking the quiet that had settled over us. "I look around this room…and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title." He went on, raising his glass. "To the survivors."

"To the survivors." We all said and raised our glasses, taking a drink. Setting my glass aside, I hugged Rick's arm to me.

"Is that all you want to be?" Abraham went on, his tone changing. I lifted my chin from Rick's shoulder and stared at Abe. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?" He asked and paused. "'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip." He paused again. "Eugene, what's in DC?"

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart." Eugene recited.

He always had an answer.

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there…who don't got nothing left to do except survive." He finished, looking at Rick with both anxiety and hope.

Looking at Rick, he met my eyes, chuckling before looking at Judith who had started to coo. "What was that?" He asked her before smiling. "I think she knows what I'm about to say." He went on, looking at Abraham. "She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in."

Grinning, I kissed his cheek before his lips as he turned his head and pressed them to mine. "You sure?" I asked softly.

"I am." He replied. "I want that for Judy and Carl. I want that for you, Caroline."

I nodded, kissing him again, "I want that for you, Rick. I want everything for you."

I only had eyes for him, talking and loving his lips against mine. He left me disappointed when he got up and walked away, leaving Judith in my lap and Carl pressed against my side. Talking and laughing and playing and drinking…this was perfect. If we could get the world back to the way it used to be, every day could be like this. Every single day could be spent feeling happy and safe and not feeling like we're in danger all the time. If by some miracle Eugene was right, we could end this hell and come out on top. No matter what happened, Abraham was right.

We were survivors.


	29. Never Enough Time

**Chapter Twenty-nine: Never Enough Time**

It seemed like just when something good happened to us, something else would happen that would threaten it. Every time we felt a little bit of peace, some sort of hell would rain down and destroy us. That's what I felt every time someone disappeared without a trace. I couldn't help the anxiousness that filled me as I held Judith, waiting for Rick and Tyreese and Sasha to come back with Bob. To top it off Daryl and Carol were missing as well.

Where the hell was everyone?

Where the hell would they go?

Stepping up to Maggie, she was holding a bible, looking at it longingly before setting it on top of a stack next to her. Everyone was quiet, sitting sporadically in the pews. Candles were lit on the altar, casting flickering light across the room. Hearing the door, I turned, seeing them come in. Bob wasn't with them. Neither were Daryl or Carol.

"Damnit." I whispered, bouncing Judith more than I had to.

"Mom." Carl said softly, taking his sister from me.

"Thank you, Carl." I told him, then I was moving to Rick. "Anything?"

He shook his head, "No."

"Where are they?" I asked with heavy worry. "Where would they go? Where would Daryl go?"

"I don't know." He replied. "But he can take care of himself."

I nodded, "I know. Doesn't mean I won't worry."

"Stop." Sasha said making me turn to look at her. She was talking to Gabriel. "Stop. What are you doing?" He didn't say anything. "What are you doing? This is all connected. You show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone."

"Sasha." I said going to her.

"No." She told me, turning back to the priest. "Answer me."

"I…I don't…I don't have anything to do with this." He told her. Her reaction was to pull out her knife. "Wait!"

"Don't!" Rosita called.

I turned to them, seeing Abraham grip her around her waist and pull her against him, moving her backward. Looking back at Sasha, I gripped her shoulder, "Not yet."

Tyreese was next to her now as well, "Sasha, put it away."

Everyone was moving toward her now. But she wasn't deterred. "Who's out there?" She stepped toward him but I moved with her.

For every one of hers Gabriel took one backward. "I – I don't have anything to do with this."

She swiftly got in his face, "Where are our people?"

"I don't have anything to –"

"Where are our people?!" She screamed at him.

I looked at Rick. He was just watching. Wrapping my arm around her, I spoke softly to her, "Sasha, I don't think this was him. He's too much of a coward to make a move against us."

"Please, I don't have anything to do with this. I –"

"Linny." Rick told me.

Looking at him, I nodded and forced her away from the priest. He replaced her, his expression dangerous.

"Why'd you bring us here?" He asked the priest.

"Please, I –"

"You working with someone?"

"I'm alone. I'm alone." Gabriel told him pleadingly. "I was always alone."

"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel? What did you do to her? "You'll burn for this." That was for you." He went on. "Why? What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel? What? What did you do? What did you do?!"

Gabriel shoved him away, his jaw taut and trembling with emotion. Gripping Sasha tightly, I glared at the man, knowing that if he touched mine once more I'd put him down. I wouldn't feel sorry about it either.

"I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always –" Gabriel finally replied, momentarily breaking down before he pulled himself together again. "They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were – they were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe." Emotion was starting to take hold again. I knew how this story ended. "And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see…it was my choice. But there were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women…children… Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy." He started to sob. "Begging me for mercy. Damning me to hell." He paused before going on. "I buried their bones. I buried it all." He paused even longer before looking up at Rick. "The Lord sent you here to finally punish me." He was sobbing again. "I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors."

Before any of us can say anything, whistling filtered in from outside. Gripping Sasha tighter, I looked at Rick. Glenn was the first to move, going toward the door.

"Glenn." I said softly.

"There's something…there's someone outside lying in the grass." He replied.

"Sasha." I said as she jerked away from me. "Sasha, wait." I added, attempting to stop her.

"Sasha." Rick told her.

We could hear walkers snarling as we got closer. Sasha went straight to the door, opening up and letting herself out. I swiftly followed her, hoping for the best. Only I slowed, my blood running cold when she started to yell.

"Oh! Bob! Bob." She cried and rushed to him.

Rushing to her, I stayed at her side as we both looked at him. He appeared to be unconscious. He was dirty and bloody but the worst of it was the blood soaked bandage where his leg used to be. Kneeling next to him, I started to feel the bandage, taking in how good a job they had done.

"His leg." Maggie said as she stepped next to me.

"Not yet." I told her quickly.

The walkers were starting come closer.

"Get Bob inside! We'll take care of them." Glenn told us.

"We gotta move him." I said and started to put my arm under his leg, moving my other under his shoulder. "Sasha."

"Yeah." She said meeting my eyes. "Thank you."

"Let's get him inside." I told her.

She nodded. Looking around, the others were killing the walkers, Tara making sure our path was clear as we rushed him inside. Setting him down at the front of the church, there was a gunshot that wasn't ours that came from outside. Rick and the others were still outside, making me feel the need to be with him. I heard him yell before they started to rush back inside.

"Rick!" I yelled.

"I'm right here." He said dropping to his knee next to me.

Putting my hand against his face, Bob's hand was in my other. Sasha was holding his hand as well, everyone starting to gather around him. He was conscious but clearly in a massive amount of pain.

"Who?" I said softly.

"I was in the graveyard. Somebody knocked me out. I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth. And five other ones. They were eating my leg right in front of me, like it was nothing, all proud like they had it all figured out." He explained, his breathing hard and his voice not as strong as it usually was.

"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Rick asked him, making me grip his hand tighter.

Bob shook his head, "Gareth said they drove off."

"Drove off?" I frowned and looked at Rick. Then Bob attempted to sit up. "Hey, hey, not so fast."

"He's in pain. Do we have anything?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah, my bag." I stated.

"I think there are pill packets in the first aid kit." Rosita added.

Sasha nodded, "Yeah."

"Save 'em." Bob told us.

"No." Sasha said on the verge of a breakdown.

"Bob, you need to take something." I told him, putting my hand against his face. "I'm going to need to take a look and it's going to be extremely painful."

"Really." He said and struggled to sit up, managing with a little help. "Damn." He said from the exertion.

Pulling his shirt aside, my hand flew to my mouth, shaking starting as I took in the bite. I knew he had it, but…and his leg…Sasha…

"It happened at the food bank." He went on. Sasha was completely devastated. Her lip quivering as she attempted to hide her pain, forcing a smile for him.

"It's okay." She told him.

"Bob." I said gripping his shoulder.

He nodded at me, "Remember what I said."

I nodded, gripping him tighter as he passed out, lowering him to the floor. "I remember." I whispered.

"Bob?" Sasha said, tears falling. Then her eyes were on me. "What did he mean?"

"Sasha…" I said putting my hand against her face.

"What did he mean?!" She yelled at me.

"There's a sofa in my office." Gabriel interjected, getting Sasha to look up at him. "I know it's not much, but…"

"Thank you." She told him.

Tyreese stepped forward, bending down, "I got him."

Sasha frowned at me as we both stood. I took her head in my hands. "I'll explain. I promise. Just…go get him comfortable."

She nodded and followed her brother. Turning to Rick, he was stepping to up Gabriel. "Do you know the place Bob was talking about?"

"It's an elementary school. It's close." He replied.

"How close?" Rick asked. He didn't reply. "How close, Gabriel?"

"It's just a 10-minute walk through the woods from here, due south of the graveyard." Gabriel told him, seeming to do so unwillingly.

Judith started to cry, making me turn toward her. Taking a step in her direction, Carl was already there, picking her up from the basket that was her bed. He shushed her softly, bouncing her as he took her to the altar.

"Does he have a fever?" Rick asked Maggie.

"He's just warm." She replied.

Glenn stepped up to us, "Jim lasted almost two days before we left him."

"I've seen it take less than a day." I told him. They all looked at me. "What?"

"Who?" Rick asked.

"We don't have time for that right now." I retorted.

"No. Time for a reality check." Abraham stated. "We all need to leave for DC right now."

"Daryl and Carol are gonna be back." Rick shot at him. "We're not going anywhere without them."

"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier." Abraham replied. "So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways."

He turned and started to walk, Rosita following him. I started to move after him, "Abe."

"You leaving on foot?" Rick asked him, making him stop.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves." He said with his back to us.

Rick moved toward him, "There are a lot more of us."

"Rick." I said turning to him, putting my hand against his chest. "Please."

Abraham turned around, "You want to keep it that way? You should come."

"Carol saved your life. We saved your life." Rick retorted.

"Now I am trying to save yours! Save everyone's!"

"Abraham." I said looking at him. "You guys, this isn't helping."

"We're not going anywhere without our people." Rick stated matter-of-factly.

"Your people took off." Abraham stated.

"And they are coming back." I shot at him. "They would never just abandon us. Something happened. But they will be back."

"To what, picked-over bones?!" He yelled at me.

Rick gripped his arm, "You're not taking –"

Abraham quickly hit his arm away, "Do not lay hands!"

"Abraham!" Rosita called.

"Guys!" I yelled as Abraham shoved me from between them.

I looked at Glenn who swiftly pushed himself between them. "Hey, hey, stop! Now!" He yelled and looked at Abraham. "Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah." He replied before looking at Rick. "Yeah."

"What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together." Glenn told him.

Tara stepped toward them, "I have an idea. If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what." She turned to Rick. "Okay?"

"Glenn and Maggie, too." Abraham stated.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shot at him. "You try and I will put you down."

"Caroline." Maggie said softly.

"No!" I yelled at her. "You're not going anywhere."

Rick looked at Abraham, "What she said."

"Good luck, then." Abraham stated. "I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear."

"Abraham –" She started.

"Now. Eugene, let's go." He told him, only Eugene didn't move. "Eugene. Move it."

Eugene didn't look at him as he replied, "I don't want to."

Abraham looked annoyed, "Now."

"Okay." Eugene said and got up.

"You don't have to go." I told him.

The room was quiet as the three of them walked toward the door, then Rick spoke, "You're not taking the bus."

Abraham stopped, clearly pissed off, trying to rein it in before he turned halfway toward him. Swiftly moving to Rick's side, I pressed myself against the back of his shoulder. I didn't agree with what was going on. We needed them, yes, but we couldn't force him to stay.

"Try to stop me." Abraham finally told him.

They just stood there for a long moment before Rick started to move toward him.

"Rick." I said attempting to grip his arm. I looked at Abe who had handed his gun to Eugene, turning toward Rick. "You don't have to do this."

They marched toward each other, Glenn rushing between them, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" They pushed against him. "Hey, hey, hey!" He called, looking at Rick before Abraham. "You stay – you stay and help us, and we will go with you."

"No." Rick said shaking his head.

"It's not your call." He told Rick before looking at Abraham. "You stay, help us."

"Half a day." Abraham replied. "Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop."

"And we will leave with you." Maggie told him.

"Maggie." I said gripping her arm.

Abraham nodded, "12 hours. Then we go."

Watching him take his gun back, I looked at Rick who was looking betrayed. He looked at me and swiftly moved around us, jerking his arm away when I tried to grip him. "Maggie." I said turning back to her. "You can't do this. You can't split us up. Not now. Not when things are so screwed up. Bob is dying. We can't stay here forever. You can't go." I rambled, feeling tears start.

She swiftly wrapped her arms around me, "Everything is going to be fine, Linny. I promise. But we don't have a choice. We need them tonight."

"I don't care about that." I shot at her. "I need you with me, Maggie."

She smiled, taking my head in her hands, "I'm always with you."

Starting to cry, I swiftly embraced her, hugging her as tightly as humanly possible. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Hey." Glenn said putting his hand on my back.

Letting his wife go, I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, "I love you."

He sighed, relaxing, and hugged me tightly, "I love you, too."

Letting him go, I looked at Rick who was looking back, clearly waiting for the room to be his. Raising a brow at him, I stayed close to Maggie as we all moved closer to him, ready for him to tell us what we were going to do next. He started to talk and the more he talked the more confident I became. At the same time I was terrified for what would happen if it didn't work. There was only one way to find out. We just do it.

"They think they're in control. We're in here and they could be anywhere. But we know exactly where they are." He stated.

"Plan's got stones, I'll give you that." Abraham told him.

"Make our move before they do." Glenn nodded.

"That's right." Rick nodded. "They're not counting on us thinking straight."

"Are we?" Rosita asked. "I'm just making sure. It's a big play."

"I have to admit that I'm kind of with her." I added. "If it works, yay us, but if it doesn't…"

"Remember what these people are capable of." Rick stated. "Tyreese."

"Yeah?" He replied.

"You up for this?"

Sasha came out of the office. I hadn't thought she was listening, but here she was. "I'm coming with you." She stated.

"Sasha." I said going to her.

"You should stay with Bob." Tyreese told her.

"No, I want to be out there. I want to be a part of this." She replied.

"Are you sure?" I asked her, gently running my fingers through her hair.

She met my eyes, nodding, "I'm sure."

I nodded back, "Okay." She smiled and leaned against me, the side of her head meeting my forehead. "Okay."

She smiled at me before going back into the rectory with Bob. Tyreese moved to follow her, his hand finding my arm, smiling at me. Doing the same, I gripped his hand as he passed by.

"Linny." Rick said moving around me and going to the door. I followed him, crossing my arms as I faced him. "You can do this."

"I know I can." I told him matter-of-factly. "I've been doing this longer than you have, you know." I added with a smirk.

He smiled and nodded as he took my head in his hands. Gently gripping his wrists, I rubbed his hands with my thumbs. "Don't worry."

I laughed lightly, "I'm kind of a worrier. Always have been."

"Hidden behind a smile, a positive attitude, and sarcasm." He smiled.

Laughing harder, I nodded at him, "So far it's worked well for me."

He nodded again before he was kissing me. Wrapping our arms around each other, I kissed him as deeply as I could, not wanting him to go. But he was going to be safer than I was. But it was a good plan. It would work.

"Be safe, baby." I told him.

He kissed me again. "You, too."

Glenn stepped up to him, putting his hand on his shoulder. Rick looked at him, nodding before kissing me again, gently moving me away from him. Running my hand down his arm, I turned and rushed back up to the altar, turning Carl toward the office. Going inside of it, the others started to file in as well. Rosita came to my side where I was with Carl and Judith. Tyreese was in front, standing and waiting as the rest of us attempted to stay down and silent.

Hearing the others leave, the door was shut loudly, I looked at Gabriel, seeing nothing but a terrified man, waiting to be protected by the people who saved him. He was a coward. He didn't deserve to live and yet here he was. I would protect him. I shouldn't. But I would. My thoughts were interrupted as we heard the door bang open. It hadn't taken long and now they were here.

"Well, I guess you know we're here."

"Gareth." I whispered. Of course he survived.

"And we know you're here. And we're armed. So there's really no point in hiding anymore." There was a long pause and we could hear soft steps moving through the room. "We've been watching you. We know who's here." I looked up at Tyreese. He took a slow deep breath. I nodded at him. "There's Bob, unless you've put him out of his misery already. And Eugene. Rosita. Martin's good friend Tyreese. Carl. Judith. Caroline." He said and paused again. "Rick and the rest walked out with a lot of your guns. Listen, we don't know where you all are but this isn't a big place. So let's just stop this before things get more painful than they need to be."

The doorknob rattled, and I got to my feet, my gun out and ready for them. Tyreese put his hand on my arm, giving his head a shake. I clenched my jaw but nodded back at him. We both turned our eyes to the door as the fucker started to talk again.

"Look, you're behind one of these two doors and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. Can't imagine that's what you all want." A gun cocked. "How about the priest? Father, you help us wrap this up, we'll let you walk away from this."

I looked at Carl, watching as he raised his gun, ready.

"Just open the door and you can go. You can take the baby with you. What do you say?" Gareth told us.

Judith started to cry and my stomach dropped, making me swiftly move to her, Carl and I both kneeling over her, trying to shush her. The damage had been done but she still needed to be quiet.

"I don't know. Maybe we'll keep the kid. I'm starting to like this girl. It's your last chance right now to tell us you're coming out."

I glared at the door, moving forward only to have Tyreese stop me again. I shot him a look but he just looked back at me.

"Are we done?" Another voice asked.

"We'll hit the hinges." Gareth told him.

Taking a deep breath, we all made sure we were clear of said hinges, raising our guns. But they never came in. We heard grunts and a body fell to the floor. Then another. Then a wave of relief moved through me as I heard Rick's voice.

"Put your guns on the floor." He told them.

"Rick, we'll fire right into that office. So you lower your gun –" Gareth started before there was another gunshot and he was screaming.

"Stay here." I told Carl as I opened the door.

Rosita was right behind me as I left the office, seeing Gareth's fingers on his left hand blown off. Rick stepped out of the shadows. We stayed in the doorway, waiting for the inevitable.

"Put your guns on the floor and kneel." Rick told him.

Gareth looked at him for a long moment before he lowered himself to his knees. "Do what he says." All but Martin did. Knowing who he was from his beaten face. I looked at Tyreese but he just looked at me. "Martin, there's no choice here."

"Yeah, there is." Martin replied.

Then I smiled as Abraham came up from the side with his rifle aimed at his head. "Want to bet?"

Martin looked at him before he lowered his gun and moved to his knees. The rest came out with their guns, Rosita and I doing the same, all our guns trained on them. Gareth was gasping from the pain as Rick moved in front of him.

"No point in begging, right?" Gareth stated.

"No."

"Still, you could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that."

"We didn't want to waste the bullets."

"We used to help people. We saved people. Things changed. They came in and –" He paused as he groaned. "After that…I know that you've been out there but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry. You don't have to do this. We can walk away. And we'll never cross paths again. I promise you."

I looked at Rick and he glanced up at me, nodding as he looked back at Gareth. "But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise." He pulled his machete out of its sheath.

"No!" Gareth yelled.

It was too late. Rick sliced his throat open. Michonne killed the woman, hitting her repeatedly with the butt of her gun. Abe and Sasha both took on one, beating them to death. Lowering my gun, I watched the brutality of their deaths. They deserved it and I didn't feel sorry for them. At the same time, Rick was once again covered in blood. Looking at Michonne, she stepped up to the woman, pulling her sword from the woman's back. Smirking, I nodded. She would be whole again.

"It could have been us." Rick stated as he looked at everyone.

"Yeah." Sasha told him.

Gabriel had come out, seeing all the carnage. "This is the Lord's house."

"No." Maggie told him. "It's just four walls and a roof."

Looking around, everyone seemed shaken. The second we thought we were safe someone was coming after us or one was us was killed or bitten. Moving to Rick, I took his head in my hands, looking at the blood that was on his face.

"Hi, baby." I smiled at him. He nodded before he was kissing me, wrapping his arm around me as he buried his face in my neck. It was warm and I could feel and smell the blood. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Leading him to the bathroom, I sat him on the toilet, wetting a towel before I started to clean the blood from him. He watched me the whole time, seeming to relax but I knew he was tense. Smiling, I started to press kisses against him, running my fingers through his hair, straddling his lap when I was done.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He sighed and pressed his forehead to mine, "Yeah, Linny, now I am."

Grinning, I kissed him deeply, "I'm glad."

"Are you?" He asked, leaning away and met my eyes.

I nodded, "You're here with me. So, yes, I am okay."

He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tight against him, "I'm happy you're here, Linny."

"I am, too."

"Don't leave me." He whispered.

Pulling him against my chest, I hugged his head to me, frowning, wondering where that was coming from. But when I spoke it was gentle and non-telling of my thoughts. "Never, Rick. I'm with you for always."

"Promise?" He frowned.

Taking his head in my hands, I frowned back, "I promise, Rick. Where is this coming from?"

"I just…" He started, rubbing my back.

"You just what, baby?" I asked gently.

"Dad?" Carl's voice drifted through the door.

"Yeah." He said and held me tight as he stood, keeping his arm around me as he opened the door. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Carl said with Judith in his arms.

"Good." Rick said as he put his hand against his son's cheek.

"He was brave." I smiled, putting my hand against his arm.

"So was Mom." Carl stated.

Rick looked at me before his son, "Don't you think it's a little early for that?"

"With the way the world is, I don't think there will ever be too early for anything. We could be dead tomorrow." Carl told him. Wise beyond his years.

Rick looked at him, "You're right." Then he looked at me, pulling me tight against him as he did the same to Carl, Judith in the middle of us. "Caroline." He said with seriousness.

"Yes?" I said softly, my stomach fluttering.

"I am in love with you." He told me. "We've known each other for a while and I can say without a doubt that you make this life better. You make me better. Us." He said and looked at his children. "You're capable and can handle this world. I love you and…" He paused, shifting his feet. "I'm hoping that you might love me too."

Smiling, I nodded, leaning in and kissed him passionately. "I am in love with you, too." He smiled at me. "I love you, Rick." Putting my arm around him, kissing him repeatedly, I had my other arm around Carl and Judith. The little happy family that I always wanted. "I love you guys, too." I told Carl, kissing his cheek before Judith's forehead.

"We love you." Carl told me. Judith cooed and reached out for me. Laughing lightly, I took her. "Judy loves you, too."

"Hi, sweet pea." I smiled and blew a raspberry against her neck, making her laugh.

"We should join the others." Rick told me gently.

"Yeah." I said nodding as Judith pressed her forehead to mine, bouncing in my arms. Laughing lightly, I stepped toward Maggie who swiftly smiled and gripped the baby's hand. "How are you?" I asked her.

"I'm okay." She replied. "Are you?"

"Yeah." I told her, meeting her eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay. Is Sasha with Bob?"

"Yeah." She replied.

"Wanna hold her?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded, taking her from me. Pressing a kiss against Maggie's cheek, gently tucking her hair behind her ear, she smiled at me, momentarily leaning against me before I moved away from her. Going to the office, I stood in the doorway, seeing Sasha sitting with Bob as he slept. She was clearly crumbling and was trying so hard to keep herself together.

Moving forward, I put my hand against her back, "What do you need?"

"More time." She replied.

"Want me to close the door?" I asked her softly.

She nodded, "Yes, please."

I could hear the emotion, tears falling down her cheeks. Hugging her from behind, I pressed a kiss against her cheek. "You are loved, Sasha. We will see you through this."

"I know." She said more air than sound.

"I love you." I told her, before quickly leaving, closing the door.

Agreeing on a watch rotation, I settled down with Rick, Carl and Judith at the head of the church. Carl held tight to his baby sister as Rick and I laid face to face, staring at each other. Smiling, I trailed my hand from one side of his face to the other. He smiled leaning in and kissed me sweetly. I felt so warm and happy. I was in love with him and it was ten times more potent than anything I'd felt before.

"You should sleep." I told him. "It's been a long day."

"So should you." He replied, pulling me closer to him.

"And yet I just want to look at you." I smirked, laughing lightly.

He chuckled, "It's funny, the same is for me."

"Puppy love." Michonne teased from nearby.

Laughing, I put my hand over my mouth, feeling his lips against my forehead. Looking up at him, he kissed me before pressing his forehead to mine. "Go to sleep."

"Yes, baby."

Falling asleep, I was perfectly happy in his arms, breathing him in with every breath I took. I slept sounder than I had in quite a while. We were safe. The world was still screwed up but at least we had each other.

Being gently shaken awake, I looked up into Abraham's face. He looked at me sadly. Sitting up, I was alone, making me frown. He sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Sighing, I rested my head against his shoulder, bringing my knees up as I turned against his side.

"Is it time?" I asked.

He sighed, "Yes, I dare say it is."

Wrapping my arm around him, I rested my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "It's not fair."

"Nothing in this godforsaken world is." He replied.

Sighing, I stood, looking down at him, "Thank you for waking me up."

"Rick wanted you to sleep as long as possible." He stated as he got to his feet.

I smiled up at him, "You're a good man, Abe. Continue to be a good man." He smirked at me, winking in response. Going to the office, I took Glenn's hand, seeing Maggie with Bob. "Hey."

"Hey." He said resting his head against mine.

"You'll always be with us. Part of us." Maggie told our dying friend.

Feeling like I was last to show up, I stepped forward and sat next to him. "Hey, handsome." I smiled at him.

He just grinned at me, "Hey."

"You're a good man and an even better friend." I told him. "I'm going to miss you."

"Just remember, Linny." He told me.

I nodded, "Don't worry. I remember. I made a promise and I'll see it done."

"Thank you." He smiled at me.

"Love you, Bob." I said and leaned down, pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Be at peace."

Getting up, I smiled at Rick, putting my hand against his face before I left the office. Maggie and Glenn were getting ready to leave. As soon as Bob was gone, they would leave and move toward DC. Moving from the church, I stood on the small porch, looking at the bus that was going to take my family away. Where the hell was Daryl and Carol? What the hell were they doing that made them stay away so long?

"Am I interrupting?" Rick asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"No." I smiled, putting my arm across his as I brought my other hand up to his neck. "You okay?"

"I'm going to miss him." He replied with a sigh.

"Me, too." I said turning my head and pressed a kiss against his temple.

"What promise did you make him?" He asked.

"That I wouldn't let Sasha grow hard." I replied. "To try and make her laugh after he's gone."

He sighed and pressed his lips to my neck, "You're a good woman."

"I'm trying to be." I smiled back.

It wasn't long before Sasha came out looking more devastated than I'd ever seen. Following her, she picked a spot and started to dig a grave. Helping her, Rick attempted to take over for her but she refused him. She even started to yell at me, forcing me to step back and let her do it herself. She was grieving. She was going to be grieving for a while. Rick and I watched over her and when it was done, Tyreese brought Bob out, laying him in it. Sasha buried him and then set to making him a cross to mark it. He deserved to be buried but I doubted we'd ever come here again.

"This is our route to DC. We'll stick to it as long as we're able. If not, well, you got our destination." Abraham stated as they stood outside the bus. "Once Eugene gets to the big brains left up there, things are gonna bounce back. This group should be there for it. You should be there for it."

"They will be." Maggie smiled.

I nodded, "We will."

Rick and Michonne repeated the words. This was bittersweet and I found myself clutching Maggie with all the energy I had in me. Glenn put his hand on my back, making me hug him next. He looked at Rick who stepped forward and gripped my waist, pulling me back.

"Let's go." Abe told them.

We all looked at each other, afraid that this would be the last time. We had no idea when we'd see each other again. It was obvious that none of us wanted to leave anyone behind, but we couldn't leave without Daryl and Carol. We wouldn't. But it was just as hard watching them drive away. Even though we did just that. Staring until we couldn't see them anymore.

Turning back inside, I sat in a pew, staring at the cross and the stained glass. If there really was a God then what the hell was he planning? What end game could he possibly have for a world like this? He created us and now he was destroying us. Had we done something so wrong to bring this hell down on top of us?

"Hey." Michonne said sitting next to me.

"Hey." I replied, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"We'll see them again." She told me matter-of-factly.

I nodded, "I hope so."

"I know so." She smiled back at me.

Looking at her, I smiled, "I know so, too."

When night had fallen, Rick's back was pressed against my side. Judith was in his arms while Carl lay on my other side, everyone sleeping soundly. Looking around the room, I felt like I'd been cut in half. I wanted nothing more than to have Maggie and Glenn here. They were family and to have them gone left an unfillable hole.

I'd listened as Michonne went outside, knowing that she wanted to be alone and yet felt the need to follow her. It didn't take long for me to see movement and watched as Gabriel disappeared as well, once again hearing the door. Him being alone with her made me anxious. He wasn't a good man though I knew Michonne could handle anything.

When I couldn't handle the silence, knowing that people were awake, I slowly removed myself from the Grimes sandwich I'd found myself in. Going to the door as silently as possible, I let myself out. At first I didn't see anyone, making me frown. Only then my name was said and my head jerked up.

"Daryl."

* * *

 **Almost thirty chapters in and so many more to go! Hope everyone who is reading is enjoying it! Nothing like a little Walking Dead to make the day a happier one!**


	30. To Be Together Again

**Chapter Thirty: To Be Together Again**

Staying close to Daryl, I found it extremely hard to put any distance between us at all. He'd disappeared with Carol only to come back with a complete stranger instead of our friend, telling us that Beth was being kept as a hospital in Atlanta and that Carol had been hit by a car and was going to end up there as well. In theory that didn't sound horrible, only the boy he had with him – Noah – had painted quite the horror story about the place they were at. We needed to get our people out of there. We needed to finally reunite with them and then find Maggie and Glenn. Beth needed her sister. So did I.

Following Daryl inside, he loaded my arms with the pipes from the organ, loading his own before we went back outside. Slamming them into the ground, what happened only solidified our need to reinforce the church. Our hope of moving on was dashed with what they told us. We'd have to stay here a while longer. Something that I was okay with and yet I just wanted to leave.

"Are you going to take the cross too?" Gabriel asked us.

"If we need it." Daryl told him.

Keeping working, Noah was helping board up the windows as Sasha took an axe to the pews. Keeping close to Daryl, the distance between us got smaller and smaller, and I had to fight the urge not to tie him to me to keep him here.

"I'm not goin' anywhere." He finally told me.

"No." I shot at him. "You already did."

He sighed and looked at me, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know." I replied. "But you weren't here. They came for us. Bob is dead. Maggie and Glenn are gone and you weren't here."

"You don't need me, Linny." He said as he kept working.

"I do actually." I replied. "I may not need you to do what I have to do. To survive. But as for me – _me_ – I do need you."

"You got Rick."

Scoffing, I shook my head at him, "I do. I'm in love with Rick." He shot me a look. "But I love you, Daryl. You're my brother, my family, and I need you just as much as I need him and the rest of our family."

"Nice speech." He said and moved away from me.

"Don't be an asshole." I shot at him. "I want Carol back just as much as you do. Be with her if you want to; stop trying to make me feel bad about being with Rick."

"I don't want to be with her." He shot at me. "But she's…"

"I know." I nodded. "I know what she is. You need her, Daryl. I get that. But I need you in the same way."

He nodded, "I get it."

"Good."

"Linny." Rick said moving toward me. I turned to him. "We need to talk."

I frowned at him, "That doesn't sound good."

He nodded and I swiftly took his hand, following him as we stepped away from the church and everyone else, moving just far enough away to be alone. Stopping, he looked uneasy and I hated when he felt uneasy. It usually meant that something was about to happen and that I was more than likely going to be left out of it.

"We need to go after Carol and Beth." He told me.

"I know." I nodded. "I'll go with you." He was silent, meeting my eyes. I sighed and nodded slowly. "I guess I'll be waiting for you here."

He smiled, taking my head in his hands, "I need you to stay here."

"Okay." I told him.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." I replied with annoyance. "I just don't want to stay behind while you go out there and face god knows what."

He smiled, rubbing my cheeks, "Always the worrier."

"It just means that I care." I smiled at him.

He brought his face to mine, parting his lips, letting them rest against mine before kissing me deeply. Pressing myself against him, I took his head in my hands as well, deepening the kiss as much as possible.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

Grinning, I kissed him again, "I love you."

"So you're okay with this?" He asked.

"No." I laughed lightly. "I am not okay with staying behind. I'd really prefer to be with you. But I trust you, Rick, and you've always let me make my own decisions. It's only fair that I do the same for you."

He smiled, nodding at me, "I trust you above all others. And you're right; I let you make your own decisions. You're your own person, Caroline. I'm not going to try and take that from you. Even if I don't agree."

"Likewise." I smirked and kissed him again.

He took my hand, leading me back to the church and inside. He took Judith from Carl, pacing back and forth with her. He was worried. He should be but still…I hated seeing him worry. That was my job. I was okay with taking on all the worry. Especially now that we knew where our people were and it wasn't going to be easy to get them out. We also knew that they couldn't waste time. It was early and if all went well then they could be there and back before the sun went down.

"All right." He finally said and handed her to me, kissing me before looking at his son. "We'll be back soon."

"I know." Carl said looking up at him.

"Be safe." I told him.

He leaned in and kissed me, letting his lips linger against mine before kissing me again, swiftly leaving the church. I watched as everyone filed out, taking a slow deep breath, meeting Michonne's eyes and offered her a smile. She smiled and nodded back. Sighing, I handed Judith to her brother, following Michonne to the door, nailing it shut with boards.

As soon as it was done, I went to Carl, pressing a kiss against his forehead before taking Judith from him. Sitting in one of the pews, I slouched, putting my feet against the back of the one in front of me, setting her in my lap. She gripped my fingers as she bounced her butt, making happy sounds as I beamed at her, making noises and blowing in her face. She shrieked, bounced, smiled…she was the reason we needed to fight. She was the future. She was everything.

"Pick one. You need to learn how to defend yourself. We can teach you." Carl said, making me look up.

Gabriel had been trying to clean the blood from the floor. There was no point. It was a stain and would be there unless it was cut up and replaced with clean wood. Only now Carl was standing in front of him having laid out a row of weapons.

"Defend myself?" Gabriel frowned up at him. "They said they would go."

"They were liars and murderers." Carl replied.

I raised a brow, watching them, though Judith smacked me in the face, making me turn my attention back to her. But I was listening closely.

"Just like us." Gabriel stated.

"We protected ourselves." Carl stated. "They wanted us dead. You're lucky your church has lasted this long. You can't stay in one place anymore. Not for too long. And once you're out there, you're gonna find trouble you can't hide from. You need to know how to fight."

He wasn't wrong. That was exactly how the world was now. I looked at Michonne and she looked back at me sadly. Sighing, I nodded at her, attempting to pull Judith against me but she was too awake to cuddle, even if that was all I wanted from her right now. Looking back at Gabriel, I watched him pick a machete.

"Good choice." Carl nodded. "But you're not holding it right. You've got to be able to drive it down 'cause sometimes their skulls aren't as soft and you need to be able –"

"I'm sorry. No." Gabriel said getting up. "I need to lie down."

We all watched him go to the rectory and shut the door. Carl looked at me but I simply shrugged. He picked up the weapons and put them back in the bag. Then he came and sat next to me, slouching down as he gently played with Judith's foot.

"You tried." I told him softly.

"I know."

"That's all we can do, Carl. You can't make him try if he doesn't want to."

"He took the knife."

"He did." I nodded. "I just hope he doesn't hurt somebody with it."

He smiled, "Probably will."

Laughing lightly, I shook my head at him, "Not nice."

"You saw him with it. He doesn't know the first thing about holding a knife."

"No, he does not." I replied. "He'll probably end up hurting himself."

"Now who's the not nice one?" He smirked up at me.

Talking for a while, Michonne came and sat with us, playing a few rounds of twenty-questions before we got bored of it. Singing to Judith, she was finally starting to settle down. Michonne was watching the rectory door. No sound had come from it since he'd gone inside. She looked at me and I nodded, knowing she was curious as to what the hell he was doing. She stood up and went to the door, knocking lightly.

"Yes?" He asked as he cracked the door open.

"You, uh…you said you weren't feeling good. You doing okay?" Michonne asked him gently.

"Yeah, I was just resting."

"I know all this is new to you. All of it. I just wanted to tell you, for you to know…the things that we do…they're worth it."

"I already took the machete. What more do you want from me?" He asked, sounding annoyed.

"I don't want anything from you. I'm just trying to help."

"Thank you."

He shut the door and she came and sat down again. I looked at her, "That wasn't suspicious at all."

"He's struggling."

"So you think he's okay?"

She nodded, "As okay as he can be. We came in here and destroyed everything he had. Can you blame him?"

"I don't blame him. But I also don't trust him in the slightest."

"Give him a chance." Carl told me.

"Why?" I frowned down at him.

"We gave you a chance."

Sighing, I nodded, "You did."

"Think of it as a pay-it-forward kind of thing."

I raised a brow at him, "Definitely not a pay-it-forward kind of thing. We do that and we'll end up one of the dead."

"Fine." He said sounding slightly annoyed with me. "Just do it for me then."

"Fine." I replied.

He looked at Michonne.

"Fine." She smiled and wrapped her arm around him.

Starting to talk to pass the time, we were actually enjoying ourselves, laughing, when we heard screaming. Looking at Michonne, I thrust Judith into Carl's arms and we both darted for the windows.

"Please! Let me in! Please! Let me in! They're close!" Gabriel screamed.

"How the hell did he get out?" I asked as I moved to the door, attempting to pry the nails loose with a hammer.

"Help! Please don't leave me out here! Please! Don't leave me out here!" Gabriel was screaming. "Caroline! Carl! Michonne! I had to see it! I know now! Let me live with it!"

Not succeeding, Michonne touched my shoulder and I quickly stepped back as she took an axe to them. He was still pounding on the door, screaming all the while. When we finally got them open, the dead started to flood in. Gabriel rushed past us and Michonne and I stood there, watching them. Pulling my knife free, I looked at her as she pulled free her sword. We started to cut them down, attempting to push them back. There were too many of them. Gripping Michonne's arm, we rushed backward. Michonne grabbed Judith who was in her backpack.

"The rectory, come on." Carl said and we all rushed toward it.

Attempting to slam the door shut, the dead were already there, sticking their fingers through the door. Pushing as hard as possible, they started to pile up, the force of them making it impossible to make it shut entirely.

"Ideas?" I asked Michonne as we both struggled to keep the door shut.

Then I jumped as Gabriel slammed into the space between us. He motioned behind us, looking to see a hole in the floor. "That's how I got out. Crawl under to the back. Just go. Take the little one and go."

I didn't hesitate as I turned and pulled Judith from Michonne's back, handing her to Carl. Dropping into the hole, I swiftly crawled out of it, turning to see Carl with Judith right behind me. Pushing him against the wall, I waited for Michonne, gripping her and quickly pulled her free. Staying, I went against my best judgment and waited for Gabriel. He froze when he saw me standing over him. Offering him my hand, he took it and I helped him to his feet.

"Come on." Michonne told him.

Gabriel shook his head, "I can't run any more."

"We're not running." Michonne stated.

Smiling, I looked at Carl, "No more running."

Circling back to the front, Michonne and I killed the stragglers that were left outside, barricading the dead inside. Stepping back, we waited to see if it would hold. Seeing if any of them would make it out. When nothing happened, we finally relaxed a little, moving backward and standing at the fence. Carl had Judith on his back now. I sat on top of it, making faces at the baby as she leaned against her brother.

"Where did you go?" Michonne asked Gabriel.

"The school. I had to see. I had to know."

Then we all looked to the church, they were starting to break through.

"Damn it." I said as I dropped to my feet.

Carl looked up at me, "Where do we go?"

Before I could reply, there was the sound of a vehicle approaching. Looking, a fucking firetruck roared up with Abe behind the wheel. Starting to laugh, the door opened and Maggie dropped from inside of it. I didn't think twice to throw myself at her, hugging her tightly as she did the same. Then she was hugging Michonne.

"What the hell?" I asked Glenn as I hugged him.

"You guys okay?" Maggie asked.

Michonne smiled, "Yeah."

"Better than okay now." I beamed at her.

"You're back." Michonne said as more of a question.

"Eugene lied." Glenn told us sadly. "He can't stop it. Washington isn't the end. Where is everybody?"

"We have news." I smiled and looked at Maggie.

Michonne was already stepping up to her, "Beth's alive. She's in a hospital in Atlanta. Some people have her, but the others went to get her back."

Emotion immediately started to spill from her. She looked at me and I nodded. "Do we know which one?"

"Grady Memorial."

"Oh, my God."

She turned to her husband and embraced him. You could feel her relief. Beth was alive and by the end of the day the sisters would be reunited. They were all the blood they had left. We all may be family, but blood was blood. If I knew my family was alive, I couldn't say I wouldn't go after them.

"How you holdin' up?" Abraham asked.

"Better now." I smiled.

"Let's blow this joint, go save your sister." Tara smiled at her.

Loading in, we started out, Rosita and Abraham in the front, the rest of us bouncing along in the back of the cab. Maggie couldn't stop smiling and I couldn't stop looking at them. They were here. They were here and we were going to get Beth and Carol back. Our family was going to be whole again. But as happy as I was to be together again, I couldn't help but feel the betrayal that Eugene had dealt. He had put my family in danger over a lie just to save his own skin.

"He's not worth it." Maggie told me.

"I still think yelling at him would make me feel better." I smirked at her.

"It might." She replied. "But it's still not worth it. He was trying to save himself. That's all any of us are trying to do. Survive. He's sorry, Caroline. He wants to be a part of the group. He wants to do the right thing."

"He should have thought of that before he made you and Glenn take off with them." I told her angrily.

She just smiled at me, "We made the decision." I couldn't help but glare at her.

Then Glenn was leaning toward me, "We're home now, Linny. We're not going anywhere."

"But you did." I told him as tears filled my eyes. "You did leave and…" I had to stop.

"It's okay." Carl said softly from next to me.

Looking at him, I shook my head, leaning forward putting my forearms on my knees, bowing my head as I tried to rein my emotions in. We were back together but I was still pissed about Eugene and how he had risked them over a lie. I was mad and yet we were on our way to reunite with the rest of our family. I was feeling everything. We would still have the church if Gabriel hadn't been so stupid. Things could have been so different and yet now it felt like everything was falling apart again.

"It's okay." Carl told me again.

I looked at him, leaning against his side, "I know."

Maggie took my hands, "We're here now, Caroline. I'm sorry for everything but we're here now. I love you."

Meeting her eyes, I smiled, "I love you, too."

"Me, too." Glenn said putting his hand over ours.

"Me, too." Michonne said doing the same.

Then Carl and Judith who smacked the hands that were in reach. Looking at Tara, I smiled, nodding at her and she too put her hand with ours. Embracing each other, there was smiling and laughing, knowing that we weren't alone. Maggie was right. No matter the circumstances, we were together again.

When we got to the hospital, everyone's anxiousness was tangible in the air. As soon as the truck stopped, we were out and moving toward the door. It looked like FEMA had set up camp outside of it. The parking lot littered with bodies, movement still inside the tents. Ignoring them, my eyes were locked on the door, seeing it open. Rick was the first out and I couldn't help but grin at him, rushing forward and threw myself into his arms. He gripped me tightly, letting me go and took my head in his hands. Meeting his eyes, they were glistening. Something happened.

Looking over his shoulder, I saw Sasha, then Tyreese who was helping Carol. Then my heart sank, my hand covering my mouth as Maggie's scream filled the air. Daryl was the last out, holding Beth in his arms. There was a hole through her head. Maggie continued to scream as Daryl stepped toward her with her dead sister in his arms, tears on his cheeks. Gripping onto Rick, I started to sob against him, watching as Glenn embraced his wife.

It took a long time for any of us to move. We had to move. Abraham and Rosita were taking care of the dead, knowing that none of us were in a position to do it. We had held on to hope that we would all be together but, as always, something got in our way. When were we going to stop dying? When would we just be able to live?

"Linny." Rick said softly as we attempted to find a running car.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not." He replied.

Laughing lightly, I nodded at him, looking in a car, "You're right. I'm not fine. Beth is dead. Maggie is destroyed. Carol was hit by a fucking car. So, no, I'm not fine."

"Caroline." He said softly.

Nodding to him with furrowed brows, I moved on to the next car, checking it. "For some reason I can only think of a damn movie quote. I love movies. I always have. I spent an enormous amount of time watching them during my single life. And right now all I can think is how fine stands for: freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional."

"Care."

Laughing and nodding again, I moved on to the next, sighing as the engine came to life. "It's true though. Every time we say we're fine those four things are true. It's what we say when we don't want to talk about it. When talking seems either too painful or obsolete. So, yes, Rick. I am fine." Getting out, he got in, turning it round to bring back to our family.

Finding a place to bury Beth, the only sounds were sniffling and crying as we all grieved her. She had been the best among us. Innocent and yet strong. She had saved Daryl. She would be missed. I'd been missing her for a while now and as I stood in front of her grave all I could hear was her voice as she sang. She had a beautiful voice. I only remembered the words to one of the songs she loved to sing. The others had already started to turn back toward the cars. But I couldn't leave her without giving her one final song. Something I knew that she would have given to any of us if we had gone first.

Starting to sing The Parting Glass, it didn't take long for Maggie to appear at my side, singing along. Taking her hand, squeezing each other's tightly, we sang it till the end, then I hugged her as she sobbed into me. I let silent tears fall but it wasn't just for Beth but for her as well. She was what mattered in this moment. The rest of us could wait. She once again had to grieve a family member, the last one she had. I couldn't imagine how she was feeling right now. I didn't want to.

"We should go." Rick said softly.

Nodding, we followed him to the trucks, all of us getting in without saying a word. We remained silent out of respect for the dead. Out of respect for the living.

"Whoever did this." I said softly. "Are they dead?" I asked, looking at Rick. He nodded. I looked back out the window. "Good."


	31. Dashed Hope

**Chapter Thirty-one: Dashed Hope**

Stopping to take a break, we hadn't been on the road long. We didn't have a destination and yet we all wanted to get as far away from that place as possible. Leaning against the truck, Rick was next to me, Noah as well, he was talking but my mind was everywhere but here, though I forced myself to concentrate when he mentioned Beth.

"She was gonna come with me."

"How far?" Rick asked him.

"Outside Richmond, Virginia."

Rick looked at me and emotion started to swell again, feeling it start to flow over. "It was what she wanted." I told him. "Her dying wish." I grinned and laughed lightly before biting my lip to stop the tears.

He nodded and offered me his hand. Taking it, he nodded at Noah before going to where the others were, telling them what Noah said. I was with him. I was with him no matter what he decided. I was just worried about what everyone else thought. But if all went well than we could all have what we wanted most.

"It was secure. It has a wall, homes, 20 people. Beth wanted to go with him. She wanted to get him there. It's a long trip, but if it works out, it's the last long trip we have to make." Rick told them.

"And what if it isn't around anymore?" Glenn asked.

"Then we keep going." Rick replied.

Michonne adding, "Then we find a new place."

Heading out, Noah, Glenn, Michonne, and Tyreese were in the car with Rick and I. We drove in silence for a long time before we finally pulled over, making sure the rest of our people were secure before we went on alone. We didn't want to risk everyone. Not wanting to lose anyone else.

"You should have stayed back." Rick told me gently.

"I'm fine, Rick." I stated with and edge of annoyance.

"And you've already told me what that means." He replied.

Smiling, I reached out to him, running my hand down his arm before resting it against his forearm, "Baby, I'm okay. I promise you that I am. I'm just a little sad is all. But we're doing the right thing. Not just for Beth and Noah but for all of us."

He looked at the road shifting toward me. Smiling, when he turned his head, I was already waiting for him, kissing him before taking his hand as his eyes were once again on the road. He smirked, glancing over at me.

"How far out?" He asked Noah.

"Five miles."

Rick let my hand go, picking up his walkie. "Hey, Carol."

"I'm here."

"We're halfway there. Just wanted to check the range."

"Everyone is holding tight." She told him. "We've made it 500 miles. Maybe this can be the easy part."

"Got to think we're due." He smiled and looked at me. "Give us 20 minutes to check in."

"We don't hear from you, we'll come looking."

"Copy that."

"This is definitely going to be the easy part." I smiled at him. Then I gasped with mock surprise, "Maybe there will even be a bed we could use. An _actual_ bed. With pillows and sheets and the whole bit."

He laughed lightly, once again taking my hand, "I don't think everyone else wants to hear what we would do with a bed."

"I do." Noah smirked. "Live vicariously and all."

Laughing, it felt amazing, making me nudge him. There was the sound of chuckling and everyone had a smile, but there was definitely a lingering melancholy. Deciding that now wasn't the best time to make a bunch of jokes or anything, I remained silent. Keeping Rick's hand, I brought it to my lips, pressing a kiss against it before trailing my fingers up and down his arm. I loved him. If this really was our last big trip…we all could finally be happy. That was what we wanted most. After protection and safety. Happiness was definitely something we wanted.

"I've been wanting to tell you something." Noah told Tyreese.

"What's that?" He replied.

"The trade. It was the right play. It worked. It did work. Just something else happened after."

"It went the way it had to. The way it was always going to. "

"I never wanted to kill anybody before."

"I've wanted that. But it just made it so I didn't see anything except what I wanted. I wasn't facing it." He replied sadly.

"Facing what?"

"What happened, what's going on. My dad always told Sasha and me that it was our duty as citizens of the world to keep up with the news. When I was little and I was in his car, there were always those stories on the radio. Something happens 1,000 miles away or down the block. Some kind of horror I couldn't even wrap my head around. But he didn't change the channel. He didn't turn it off. He just kept listening. To face it. Keeping your eyes open. My dad always called that paying the high cost of living."

Looking at Rick, he smirked and rubbed my hand. I was happy my father never did that. I was raised away from all that. I was an avoider of the news. If I didn't know bad things were happening then I didn't have to feel guilty for not having any power to stop it. At the end of the day we were very small in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, if we all banded together we could do amazing things. But individually we had no power. We were weak. That's why we needed people. We needed family because together we would survive this world. It was when we were on our own that we kept failing. We kept dying.

"I lost my dad in Atlanta. I think he would have liked yours. Still got a mom and a couple of twin brothers. I hope."

"I hope so, too."

"Two more miles."

"All right." Rick said. "Let's pull into the woods. We'll go on foot. Stay off the road."

Noah frowned at him, "We don't need to."

Rick looked at him, "Just in case."

"It's better if we see them before they see us. We don't want any surprises and we have no idea what we're walking into." I added gently as Rick pulled off the road.

Getting out, we looked at the two cars that had crashed here, all getting ready for anything. There were walkers in the cars, hitting the glass as they looked at us.

"This is good. Through the trees, it might just look like part of the wreck." Rick told us.

"It's this way." Noah said as he motioned us forward.

Following him, we moved at a steady pace, making it feel no time at all when we got close to the wall. However we were stopped by wire that had been strung between the trees as a barrier. It looked like it would be very effective against the walkers.

"Your people do this?" Michonne asked.

"Wanted to. Must have." Noah stated.

"It's nice." I smiled as I plucked one of them.

Rick smirked at me, getting me to shrug at him. "Come on." He said and started to maneuver his way through.

As soon as we were on the other side, Rick pulled out his machete and I followed suit; pulling out my own, momentarily feeling the gun in the back of my pants. Spinning the hilt in my hand, I liked the feeling of it in my palm. Waiting for everyone else to come through, Noah let out a sound, making me grip him. He'd cut himself.

"You all right?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah." Noah replied and kept going. "Yeah."

"Let me see." I said reaching for his leg.

He took a step away from me, "It's just a scratch."

I gave him a stern look, "Let me see."

He returned my look, "It's fine, Linny. But thank you."

He once again took the lead as we kept walking. It was quiet. There was no sound of the living or the dead. That was never a good sign. Glancing at Rick, he just nodded and picked up the pace. When we finally saw the wall, we stopped at the tree line, assuming that there would be somebody keeping watch. We couldn't see anyone and there was nothing but a field between us and the wall.

"They have spotters? Snipers?" Rick asked.

"We built a perch on a truck. Sometimes it's out front." He replied.

Glenn was looking back and forth across the field. "Not today."

Stepping next to him, I looked as well, meeting his eyes. Taking a deep breath, we started out across it, guns and knives ready. Just because we couldn't see anything didn't mean nothing was there. We had to hold on to our hope. At least until we were inside. It could be a whole different story inside. Reaching the gates, there was debris on the road and there was no sound coming from inside. Silence like that was eerie. If there were people there was usually sound.

The gates were locked and Noah clanged on them, listening. There was still nothing. Looking at Rick, his expression was anything but hopeful. Only then there was a small sound. Only it wasn't something that the living made.

"You hear that?" Noah asked.

Glenn held up his hand, "Just wait."

Following close to Glenn, I watched as he climbed up to look over the wall. As soon as he looked inside there was clear disappointment on his face. He looked at us, shaking his head. Deflating, I looked at Rick. He stepped up to me, putting his hand against my face before he moved to the wall. Scaling it, we all dropped onto the other side. Looking around, it was deserted with debris and bodies everywhere. Noah immediately started to panic, rushing away from us. Following him, it looked like a house had been blown up. It was ruined. Everything had been destroyed.

"Noah, hold up." Rick called. Only Noah started to run. "Noah!"

"Noah!" I called rushing after him as well.

We all followed him until we reached a crossroads. Bodies and walkers were visible in nearly every direction. Noah circled before he started to break down. Looking around, I frowned at the words that were painted on a short wall: Wolves Not Far. Sighing, I turned back to Noah, kneeling behind him, gently embracing him.

"It's okay." I told him. "I'm so sorry. But you're gonna be alright."

"She's right." Tyreese told him. "You're gonna be with us now."

Looking around, still comforting him, it was gone. It was all gone. We knew that. It was obvious. There couldn't be this much destruction and still have hope that the community had somehow survived. Hearing a walker, we all looked toward it.

"I'll get him." Michonne told us, emotion clear in her voice.

Rick kneeled next to us, looking at Noah, "I'm sorry, Noah. I truly am." Then he stood. Hugging Noah, I let him go, standing as well. "We should see if there's anything we can use and head back."

"Then what?" Michonne asked, making Rick frown at her. She simply frowned back, moving toward the walkers. "They see us."

"We can make a quick sweep." Glenn stated.

Tyreese nodded, "I'll stay with him."

Rick brought the walkie to his mouth, "Carol, you copy?"

"We're here."

"We made it. It's gone." He told her, emotion creeping into him as well.

Sighing, I moved past him, starting down the road to the nearest house. Rick followed, as well as Glenn and Michonne. Passing through the debris on a driveway, I headed into the garage, taking a look around. Hearing glass break, I looked over my shoulder to see Michonne pull out a baseball shirt from the frame it used to be in. Rick touched her arm and she looked up at him.

"Clean shirt." She told him.

"We'll figure it out." He replied.

"We will. There's some garbage bags in the garage."

She stepped up to me, keeping my eyes for a long moment. Sighing, I nodded, putting my hand against her face as I pressed my forehead to hers. "I know."

Grabbing the bags, we set to looking through everything, putting anything useful into them. Truth be told it wasn't much.

"You didn't think it would still be here?" Rick said to Glenn.

"Did you?"

"After it happened, right after with Beth in the hospital. I saw that woman Dawn. She didn't mean to do it. I knew it. I saw it. But I wanted to kill her." He told him. "I remember I just wondered if it even mattered one way or another. Didn't have a thing to do with Beth." He went on, pausing again. I turned toward him. He hadn't told me that. I couldn't decide if that annoyed me or not. "I don't know if I thought it would still be here. But Beth wanted to get him here. She wanted to get him back home. This was for her. And it could have been for us, too."

Glenn nodded at him replying, "I was thinking about that guy in the storage container. Back at Terminus. How I made us stop. After the prison, on my trip, I got Maggie back. Things went okay." He stated as he bent down and picked up a baseball bat. "Losing Washington…losing – losing Beth right after just finding out that she was alive. I hadn't caught up with you yet. If it were now…I wouldn't make us stop. We'd run right by. And I would have shot that woman dead. Right or wrong."

Feeling tears, I wrapped my arms around myself, Michonne stepping toward them. "We need to stop. You can be out here too long."

"She's right." I said wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Let's go." I told Michonne.

They didn't say anything as we separated to cover more ground. Michonne and I stayed closer, never farther than the house next door. Grabbing all the food we could find. I also grabbed useable clothes, and whatever ammo and weapons I could find as well. When we'd covered what we said we would, Michonne and I stood in a driveway, the men moving toward us from different directions. Their bags were full. It wasn't much but it was something. A small win after losing all the hope we had.

Michonne looked at me before Rick, "We could put some of the garage doors together against the break. Park a car against them until we can brick it back up." Rick looked at what she was talking about. "It can work."

Looking at Rick, I knew what his answer was going to be. Turning toward him, I moved closer to him, "It could work, Rick. We could make it work. We've done harder things."

He looked at me for a long moment, looking back at the wall in question. I hadn't swayed him. I didn't think I would. "This place is surrounded by a forest. There's no sight lines. Whoever, whatever would be on top of us without us even knowing it. That's probably what happened."

"That's what happened to us." Glenn stated.

"Glenn." I said sadly.

"It was." He replied.

Michonne wasn't going to give up, not yet. "We could start taking down the trees. We use them to build the walls up." The men didn't look convinced. I wanted to support her but she was reaching. "Look."

She was trying so hard to convince them. She started to walk to where the wall was broken, wanting them to see what she did. Only as soon as we reached it we could see the bodies. There was several of them. Bits and pieces of them everywhere. They'd been blown up, turning to see scorch marks along the outside of the wall. Looking at Michonne, she deflated, shaking her head at me. Moving to her, I put my arms around her, pulling her against me.

"It doesn't matter." Glenn said breaking the silence.

Rick looked at him, "What?"

"You said you wondered if it even mattered if you killed her or not." He elaborated. "It doesn't matter if you had done it, or if I had, or that Daryl did. It doesn't matter."

"Washington." Michonne stated. "Eugene lied about a cure, but he thought of Washington for a reason."

"But he was lying." Glenn frowned at her.

"Michonne." I said softly.

"About the cure, but he did the math and realized that Washington was the place where there'd be a chance. We're close." Rick sighed at her. "What if there are people there? Huh? What if it's someplace that we can be safe? We're 100 miles away. It's a possibility. It's a chance. Instead of just being out here. Instead of just making it. Because right now, this is what making it looks like." Rick just looked at her. Looking back at him, I still held on to her, smiling at him as if to say 'please'. "Don't you want one more day with a chance?"

He nodded a little, "We should go."

"It was a good speech." I told her softly as us and Glenn started to walk away.

"It's 100 miles away." Rick stated, making us stop and turn to him. "We should go to Washington."

Grinning, I moved to him, taking his face in my hands before wrapping my arms around his neck. "Good for you." He just chuckled and held me tightly.

Hope had been restored. Only in the next second there was the sound of Noah yelling. Letting him go, we all turned toward the sound of his voice, starting to run toward it. He was yelling as loud as he could. We found him pinned down by walkers on a porch. Leaping up and over the railing, I stabbed one while Glenn came up the stairs and took care of two others.

"It's Tyreese." He told us.

"Where?" I asked him, my stomach dropping.

"My house. He's been bit."

Not again.

This could not be happening again.

It was too soon.

Following him, we reached the house, barreling in and down the hall to the room where Tyreese was.

"Ty!" I screamed, seeing him under a desk.

"Get him out of there." Rick stated as he moved him.

Helping, we got him out, and I swiftly moved behind him, supporting him as I wrapped my arms around his chest. "You're gonna be okay. You hear me? You're gonna be okay."

"You got him?" Rick said and I nodded frantically. He pulled out his arm, the bite having made a mess of it. "One hit, clean! Go!" He called to Michonne.

In the next second his arm had been several from his body. I immediately put my hand over the stump, pressing my palm against it as Rick yanked off Tyreese's belt, tying it tightly around his arm. The warmth of it was spilling down my arm, making everything wet and slippery.

Rick and Glenn swiftly took his arms and I moved around him and picked up one of his legs. Michonne took the other and then we were running. Noah was ahead of us as we raced to the back gate. Now we could hear the dead on the other side. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. We set Tyreese down, the others going to the gate as Noah and I stayed with him. As soon as the gates were opened, the dead started to spill inside. Knowing there was too many, I got to my feet, rushing forward, and started to stab them. Pulling out my gun, I started to shoot them as well. We needed our path cleared and we needed it cleared now.

"Ty." I said rushing back to him, taking his head in my hands. He looked weak and pale. We needed to move faster than we were. "Let's go!" I yelled at the others.

Once again picking him up, we started to follow the path we'd taken. Panic was flowing freely and I was panting with the weight of him as we tried to move as swiftly as possible. Reaching the wire, for a moment I thought I was going to breakdown. How the hell were we going to get him through that?

Michonne and I went first, the men turning and flipping him so he could go through headfirst. When it came time for Rick and Glenn to come through, I couldn't help the cry as my muscles strained from the effort of supporting him. Only it wasn't just me. Looking at Michonne, she felt the same. Finally getting through, we once again attempted to run. He was losing blood and would lose consciousness before long. We needed to cauterize the wound. I needed a fire. But there wasn't time for that. Rick called ahead to Carol, telling her what happened.

As soon as we were back in the truck, the tires squealed as Rick took off. Tyreese was against the back window looking out of it. I had wedged myself between the seats, my hands attempting to hold his blood in his body. Shock would be setting in and if we didn't get him treated soon then that would be what killed him.

"Tyreese, you gotta listen to me, okay?" I told him. "Ty!" He moved his eyes to meet mine. "You have to live. You understand me."

"It's better now." He whispered. "It's okay."

"What?" I frowned.

"It's okay." He whispered.

"Rick!" I screamed. He couldn't go any faster without risking a crash, but at the same time, we weren't going fast enough. "Ty, please." I cried, putting my hand against his face. "Please, Tyreese. Sasha needs you. You can't die. Not now."

He smirked at me, "It's better now."

Bowing my head, I started to sob, lifting my head to meet his eyes again. He was looking out the window. Then his eyes started to drift shut. "No! No, Ty! Stay awake. You have to stay awake! TY!" He started to relax. Then he stopped breathing. "RICK!"

The truck stopped and Rick got out, opening the back, we took him out. I followed, falling from the truck, landing hard on my hands and knees. Scrambling to Tyreese's side, I attempted to revive him. He didn't get to die. I'd seen people survive. People survived. Sobbing, I breathed into him and compressed his chest, feeling weaker and weaker, knowing that he was gone.

 _It's better now._

It wasn't better now.

Arms were around my waist and I was pulled away from him. "No!" I yelled. "No, please! I can do this!"

"Stop." Glenn said softly in my ear. "Linny, just stop."

"Please." I sobbed, hugging his arms.

"Linny." He said and I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, sobbing into it.

He was gone.

Getting to my feet, I moved to the side of the road, vomiting before falling to my knees. I was going to drop my face into my hands but stopped at the sight of the blood that covered them. It only fueled my tears, sobs breaking from me as my hands started to shake violently. Staring down at them, the tears dripped, swirling the blood against my skin. Shutting my eyes so I couldn't see it, I continued to sob. We'd lost someone else. It wasn't fair. Nothing about this was fair and all I wanted to do was to wake up from his horrible nightmare. Finally managing a little control, I slowly got to my feet, wiping the tears with the back of my wrists, hoping I wasn't smearing blood across my face. Turning, I slowly walked back to Tyreese, kneeling at his side, putting my hand against his chest as I started down at him.

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." Rick stated as he stepped back toward us. He had paced away but came back, only now he had his knife out.

Looking up at him, the tears came faster, my shoulders bouncing. Taking a deep breath, I quickly calmed myself. "Let me do it." I told him, holding out my hand. He just looked at me. "Just let me do it, Rick." He nodded and handed me his knife. Taking another deep breath, I leaned down and pressed a long kiss against Tyreese's forehead. "I'm sorry, brother." I whispered to him. "Until we meet again." Slipping the blade into his temple, I paused before pulling it out again, wiping the blade on my pants before handing it back to him. "Let's get him home."

Getting him back into the truck, I held him the entire way back, silently crying the entire way. I was dreading having to tell Sasha that she lost another person that she loved. Bob wanted me to make her smile and laugh. He didn't want her to become hard. I think she would have survived if it was just Bob, but now it was Tyreese as well. Her boyfriend and her brother just days apart. She wasn't going to be able to survive this. No one would. This was going to break her and I wasn't sure what I could do because there was _nothing_ I could do.

Bob.

Beth.

Tyreese.

Who else were we going to lose?

Who else would we have to say goodbye to?

Rick parked the truck and all eyes were on us. He had told Carol what happened and by the look on Sasha's face, she already knew. Still holding tight to him, I buried my face in his neck, sobbing, the sound muffled against him. Taking several deep breaths, I attempted to calm down, my lip quivering as I blew out each breath.

The door behind me opened and I turned to see Rick. He pressed his forehead to mine before his arm moved around my waist, pulling me from the truck as Glenn and Daryl supported Tyreese. I had hoped to keep myself together but as I watched them pull him free, I couldn't stop the sobs that came from me.

Rick wrapped me in his arms, talking softly in my ear. Looking at Sasha, Maggie had her arms around her, sobs breaking from her as well. I suddenly felt guilty for crying so much when it was her brother who had died. Turning in his arms, I wrapped mine around him, crying into his neck. He held me tight as Glenn and Daryl brought him toward his grave that had already been dug for him.

Letting Rick go, I took his hand, hugging his arm as we started to follow. Ty was laid to rest in the grave. A place we would more than likely never be again. That was the worst part. Losing people and never getting to see them again. Not even the place they were laid to rest.

"I'm so sick of this." I told Rick softly.

"I know, baby." He said softly, pressing his lips into my hair.

Gabriel was already there with a bible in his hands. Tears were still hot against my cheeks, my jaw taut from trying to keep myself together. Looking at Sasha, she looked to be doing better than I was. She was in shock. She deserved to be.

"We look not at what can be seen, but we look at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary…but what cannot be seen is eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. In the heavens."

Sasha put the first shovel of dirt onto her brother, holding it out as she stood. Rick quickly took it and she walked away. For a long moment, I watched him, wanting to give her space. It didn't last long before I was following her. I didn't want to say anything. I just didn't want her to be alone. She was tying together wood for his cross.

"I'm so sorry." I told her softly. She paused but didn't look up at me. "I'm so sorry, Sasha. I tried." Now she looked up at me. I was shaking and his blood was still covering me. "I tried." She stood and faced me, nodding before she had her arms around me. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed into her.

For a long moment we stood there and sobbed together. When she finally let me go, we took the cross to Tyreese's grave, putting it in the ground, his hat over the top of it. Standing there, I knew she wasn't ready to go and I couldn't say that I was ready. This hurt.

"Rick said you tried to save him. That's what you meant." She said softly. I nodded at her. "Have you done that before?" I nodded again. Then I felt her eyes on me, turning my head to meet them. "Thank you."

Smiling, I nodded at her, wrapping my arm around her. We stood there for a while before we finally moved, making our way to the others that were at the vehicles. They all looked defeated. And we were. We'd lost a lot in just a short period of time. It wasn't fair. But we all knew that nothing in this world was fair.

It was time to move on.

We didn't have a choice.

We moved or we died.

Right now there was a thin line between which one was the lesser of two evils.


	32. Before Part I

**Chapter Thirty-two: Before Part 1**

Sleeping soundly, I was warm and comfortable in my bed. The ceiling fan adding just enough of a breeze to make it that must more comfortable. When my alarm went off I couldn't help but groan. I didn't want to move. Hitting snooze, I was more than happy to lay there for as long as possible. I knew I could get away with two before I risked being late.

Finally dragging myself out of bed, I shuffled to the kitchen, opening the fridge for my breakfast shake. Nothing fancy. Just enough to make me not hungry until lunch. Preparing coffee, I shuffled back to my bedroom, stripping before I went to the bathroom, turning on the water. They were never long and yet woke me up in the most amazing way.

Exiting the shower peppier than when I'd got it, I sang to myself as I dried off, wrapping my towel around my hair. Brushing my teeth, dancing around the bathroom, I rinsed and spit before pulling the towel free, flinging my hair from side to side as I continued to enjoy my morning entertainment. Combing my hair, I put product in, leaving it to dry before I'd inevitably pull it up to stay out of the way.

Dancing back into the bedroom, I pulled on whatever bra and underwear I saw first, throwing on a long sleeved shirt before I put on my scrubs, nearly falling over in the process. Looking at the clock, I swore under my breath before I jogged out to the kitchen fixing my mug of coffee the same way I did every day. Grabbing my keys, I spun toward the door, opening it, making sure to lock both locks before I rushed down the hallway.

Getting in my non-fancy car, I drove the short distance to work, swiftly parking, realizing that I had actually made it there early. Smiling to myself, got out, making my way toward the employee entrance and let myself in. I was always the second to arrive. Ashely was always first. The kennel attendants always were. Ashely was our latest version, seeming to not be able to hold on to one for more than a few months. But Ashely had lasted over a year so we were hopeful that she'd be around for a while.

"Morning, Caroline." She smiled.

"Morning, Ash." I smiled as I turned on all the lights, taking a look at the schedule for the day as I sipped my coffee. "Doesn't look like anything exciting today." I replied.

"Nope." She replied before I heard her go into the boarding room.

Moving to where the hospitalized animals were, I started to check them over. They all looked pretty happy this morning. Two cats who had been spayed. A dog that had been in for a bee sting.

"Hey, Oliver." I smiled at the chocolate lab. He squinted his eyes at me happily. "Look at you!" I said with enthusiasm. "You look _so_ much better."

He had come in with a muzzle three times the size it should be. He learned the hard way that bees are not for eating. After some fluids and antihistamines, the swelling started to come down. We made sure to keep him overnight to make sure there weren't any complications. Just to be on the safe side.

Taking him outside, I went into the other hospital room, tending to two other dogs that had stayed the night. They'd been spayed and everything was looking good. No heat, or redness, or swelling. Everyone would be going home today. Hearing a soft noise behind me, I turned and came face to face with a big beautiful German shepherd.

"Morning, Moz." I smiled at him. "How are you doing this morning?" His tail thumped and he licked my fingers as I stuck them through the door.

"His family called again." Ashley told me. "They were vague but they don't think they'll be picking him up for a few more days."

"I'm okay with that." I told her. "I like this one."

"He likes you." She replied. "Not so much everyone else."

"You can't show him that you're afraid of him, that's all." I smiled up at her.

She just nodded at me, "Yeah, but you've never seen his teeth."

Laughing, I opened the door and he came out, sitting on my feet as he leaned against my legs, lifting his head as high as it would go as his tail thumped and he lapped at the air. Leaning down, I kissed his muzzle before letting him outside. Going out with him, I took a deep breath of the air, loving the smell of the morning.

As soon he was done, I put him back, going back into the main room, pulling out packs for the surgeries that would be going on throughout the day. Hearing the door, I knew who it was, knowing that my day was about to get interesting. As interesting as every other day.

"Morning, Dennis." I smiled at our most senior veterinarian.

He was a middle-aged man with sandy blond hair. He was barely taller than me with glasses and a rather unimpressive build. He was nothing amazing to look at and he always made sure to make me feel like I didn't know anything.

"Caroline." He smiled before going into their office.

Hearing Denise and Barb, one of our receptionists and our clinic manager, I was always happy when more people started to file in. Then I heard the door open again, laughter following. Grinning, I loved to laugh and if we came in laughing then it was bound to be a good day.

"Care!" Sean exclaimed as he came around the corner.

Laughing, I grinned at him, "Good morning."

"Care!" Rachel said doing the same.

"Rach!" I exclaimed back.

"She gets an exclamation but I just get a good morning?" Sean complained.

Laughing again, I just looked at him, "I like her more than I like you."

"Bullshit." He said and shoved me.

He walked away, leaving me and Rachel there alone for a few minutes. "Just fuck him and get it over with."

"Stop." I shot at her, looking at the man. "He's married."

"Unhappily." She stated. "We both know that you could make him happier than she ever has."

"Not the point." I told her. "I like to think that I'm not the affair type."

"You're not." She replied. "But still, for him I'd still be considering it."

Looking at him, I sighed, "I consider it every day."

It was the same talk we'd been having daily for a while now. If anything did ever happen I would blame her. She put the idea in my head and now I couldn't get it out. I'd had a good fantasy or two – hell I'd had a hundred – about him and it made me stare sometimes. He was your average guy. He was tall with the start of a beer belly. Older than me by more years than I would think I'd like but found that I didn't care in the slightest. He kept his salt and peppered hair short and had a constant five-o'clock shadow that made him all the more handsome. He'd shave every once in a while but there was something about the slight beard that made him so damn sexy to me. But what I loved most was that he was kind and funny. He was a good listener and he always smelled amazing. He always knew what to say. He had warm brown eyes that when you looked into them you couldn't help but melt. He made it easy to fanaticize.

Getting to work, we all moved around each other, doing what we did. Dennis was the only one in today and I was lucky enough to have drawn the short straw and had to room for him all day. I liked it better than being in surgery with him but Sean was gracious enough to take on that task today. Rachel was the luckiest. She was taking care of the in house patients and was on instrument and pack duty. We all participated in the charting since vet medicine was slightly behind the times when it came to electronic charts. It all still started on paper and we had to type it all in. We took bets on the words we couldn't figure out and would eventually have to ask Dennis. I always lost. Sean usually won but that just meant more dinks on him. Even though we hardly ever went to get any. His wife didn't approve.

Over all, the day had been uneventful, finishing everything up before helping Ashely with all the boarders. She always seemed to be lagging and I didn't mind helping. I'd do just about anything for dogs. Even the ones that I didn't like still got more time than they deserved. Part of my motivation was so I could spend ample time with Mozzie. When I finally put him to bed, I made my way to my car, ready for the leftover pizza in my fridge and a good beer.

Getting home, I used my code to get into the building, using my key at the second door before I was in the main lobby. It was a nice private building. It made me feel safer knowing that people couldn't come and go as they pleased who didn't live in the building. Taking the two flights of stairs, I moved to the end of the hall, letting myself into my apartment. It wasn't anything fancy. It was a smallish two bedroom apartment that was probably a little too big for me, but I had always thought someone would come visit me. My parents. My sisters. But it turned out that going across the country was not something that any of them wanted to do. So, I had an extra room that hadn't been used since I'd moved here.

In fact, I couldn't remember the last time I had someone in my home other than me. Not that I wanted anyone's pity or anything. I was more than happy with my solitary life. I didn't need to worry about anyone else. I could do whatever I wanted. There was an amazing sense of freedom in that. At the same time I still had a fantasy in the back of my mind where I had a husband that I adored. We had children that I could both dote on and torture as my mother did me. A family. I would love to have a family.

Someday.

Someday I'd have the husband and the kids and dogs and a white picket fence to keep us all protected. We'd live in a nice big house that had so many windows it was impossible to escape from the sun. Maybe even on a farm somewhere.

And I'd be happy.

For a few short seconds I inserted Sean into that fantasy, smiling at myself before I shook my head, removing the thought from my mind. Turning on the TV and DVD player, the movie inside of it started to play from where I'd left off, listening to it as I putzed around, doing the few dishes by the sink before finally grabbing the pizza and beer.

"I know what you must be thinking." I talked with the TV. "What is a place like me doing in a girl like this?" Grinning, I sat down, enjoying the movie.

My favorite.

For as simple as my life was, I couldn't imagine it any other way. I was happy with my movie collection and my laptop. I had an affinity for fanfiction and was more than happy writing in my spare time, watching movies and just being alone. My imagination was far more fun than whatever was outside my home. Though when I thought too much about it I realized how depressing that was. I needed to get out more. I needed to find a man who complimented me and I could have that life that I had stowed away at the back of my mind.

The next day started the same as the one before. I was a creature of habit and once I had it, I rarely deviated from it. Going into work like normal, it didn't take long for us to become shorthanded. It was only a couple people. Only then it was three days is a row as it was two, three, or more. We didn't have a lot on staff at a time but this was just weird. It wasn't normal for any of us to miss work. Maybe a day or two but it wasn't just that it was the lack of communication. Something that was unheard of here.

On that third day we you could feel the unease. We hadn't heard from one of our receptionists for two days and so far she hadn't been answering the phone and no one had seen her since the other day. It wasn't necessarily worrisome but it was definitely not normal. I was used to normal. Not to mention that I kept showing up and pulling work for two got old after the first day.

"Think we should stop and check on her?" Sean asked as we cleaned instruments. It was another slow day and we tried to find anything to keep ourselves busy.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, "Probably."

"You're distracted." He stated. I didn't say anything. "Care." He said nudging me.

"What?" I asked with annoyance, looking up at him. My eyes met his and for a long moment we just looked at each other. "I'm sorry." I told him averting my eyes. "I am worried. Whether I should be or not. And I just have a weird feeling."

He nodded, putting his arm around me. "Me, too."

Looking up at him again, he smirked at me, bringing his other hand to my face, brushing his thumb gently across my cheek. Relaxing, I leaned into him, keeping his eyes. He slowly lowered his face, bringing it closer to mine. Only at the last second, there was a crash from the office, followed by a string of coughs.

Sighing, I put my hand against his arm as I moved around him, going to the office. "Dennis?" I said softly, letting myself in.

"I'm fine." He told me even though he was on his hands and knees.

"What happened?" I asked as I moved to help him up.

"I'm fine, Caroline." He stated.

Ignoring him, I gripped his arm, helping him up, "Clearly."

"It just hit me like a ton of bricks." He stated as he sat on the edge of his desk.

"Think you can drive?" I asked him.

He seemed to ponder that for a minute before he shook his head, "No."

"Everything okay?" Sean asked as came in. "You okay?" He asked Dennis.

He shook his head. Smiling at him sadly, I looked at Sean. "I should drive him home."

"Nah." Sean replied. "If he's sick we should just call it a day. He's on the way home for me. I'll take him."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded.

Looking at him for a long moment, I finally nodded, "Okay. I'm going to hang around with Ash to make sure everything's taken care of."

He nodded, "If you need me to, I can come back and help."

"I think we've got it." I smiled as Dennis started to hack up a lung again.

"Pretty sure my wife got me sick." He told us.

Sighing again, I hoisted him up and handed him over to Sean. He took him, looking at me with a slightly expecting expression. I smiled and shrugged at him. His brows furrowed and he nodded at me. Putting my hand on his arm, I swiftly leaned up and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

"You sure you don't want me to come back?" He asked softly.

"Can we just go?" Dennis complained.

"Yeah." Sean replied and started to lead him out.

He was already around the corner and down the hall when I rushed after him, "Sean."

He stopped and looked at me. I smiled at him, nodding. He smiled, nodding back at me. "See you soon."

Watching them leave, I couldn't help but grin, feeling pretty damn good. I knew I shouldn't encourage anything but we would be alone and most of me wanted to know if there was anything there. Maybe it would just be a one-time thing and he'd go back to his wife and I'd go home alone as usual. I just wanted to know.

Helping with the dogs, Ashley had been gone for a while and the clinic was quiet. Sitting in Mozzie's kennel with him, his head was resting on my lap, dozing as I continuously stroked him. I waited there for hours but Sean never came back. Letting the dogs out once more, I decided that it was time to leave. No point in waiting for something that wasn't going to happen.

Texting him on my way to the car, I let him know that I was leaving. I waited another ten minutes just in case he was coming back, but when he didn't reply, I sighed heavily, driving home far more depressed than I should've. Going inside, I felt the need for some comfort food. Deciding to make hamburger hotdish, I pulled out what I would need. Turning on the frying pan, I waited for it to heat, opening the fridge and looking between the beer and the bottle of Riesling. Grabbing a beer, I took a long drink from it before putting the meat in the pan, enjoying the sizzle of it. My mouth watering as I thought of the finished product.

I was happily browning the meat when my phone started to go off and I picked it up to see a picture of my dad, smiling, I answered, "Daddy!"

"Hey." He replied.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"I'm alright." He stated but there was something in his voice.

"Everything okay?" I asked next.

There was a long pause before he replied, "I want you to come home."

"What?" I frowned. "Why?"

"Something…" He said and trailed off. "Something is happening and I want you to come home."

"Dad." I said feeling like he was just trying to get what he wanted. He wouldn't say it, but he had wanted me home since the moment I left.

"Have you been listening or watching the news?"

"You know how I feel about the news."

"Turn it on." He stated.

I continued to cook, sighing into the phone, "I don't even have cable and am running low on data on my phone. Tell me what's going on."

"There are stories of cannibalism across the country. Our neighbors have been disappearing one by one. Mr. Paulson was sick and Mary came over yesterday asking for some help. We did, we went over to help him but he had already died. I told her to call the police but she couldn't get through. Then late last night there was screaming. I went over to see if they were okay this morning but they were gone. There was blood on the floor but that was it. Everything else looked like it was untouched."

"Creepy." I told him, adding the rice and soup and set it all to simmer.

"Something is wrong and I would feel better if you were here." He replied.

"Dad, I'm sure everything is fine. People are just freaking out and that gets everyone else to freak out. Nothing is happening around here." I said trying to reassure him.

"No one is sick?"

"Well, Dennis was sick today but it doesn't seem serious." I replied.

"Come home, Caroline."

"Dad."

"Please."

Sighing, I wrapped my arm around myself, "I'll think about it. If anything starts going down here, I'll head home."

"Tonight."

"Tomorrow." I smiled into the phone. "If I let everything freak me out and scare me home, I'd be there now."

"This isn't a joke, Caroline. Something is happening and I need you to come home. Now."

"Daddy, I'm going to be fine. You taught me well."

"You still have a gun?"

"I have the Glock 19 you gave me for my going away present." I smirked into the phone.

"You've been taking care of it?"

"Always."

"Have you practiced?"

"Not for a while."

He sighed before talking to me sternly, "Get it out. Get it ready. And from what I've heard…go for the head."

"Okay." I told him, feeling anxious now.

"Promise me that you'll come home at the first sign of trouble."

"I promise, Daddy."

"I love you." He told me.

"I love you, too." I replied. "So much."

"I'll keep in touch for as long as I can."

"Likewise."

"Love you."

"Love you."

He hung up and for a long moment I just stood there, staring at my phone. I couldn't deny that it didn't rattle me. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on but everything around here had been quiet. Nothing was going on that struck a chord of fear in me and I wasn't just going to pick up and leave just because my father told me too. If I was a good daughter, I would, but I wasn't there yet.

Finishing, I turned on a movie and ate, enjoying a few more beers before I went to bed. Everything seemed to be normal. I even stood in my bedroom and listened for several minutes just to make sure I couldn't hear anything weird. Finally crawling into bed, it took a long time to fall asleep, thinking about what my father had told me. I trusted him more than anyone else in my life, making me feel like I should pack and go. But I didn't. I simply rolled over and went to sleep. I slept soundly until I was woken by something. Frowning, I listened but didn't hear anything, rolling over and sighed into my pillow. Only then it came again. Only this time it didn't stop.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

My eyes shot open and I listened intently. After a long moment, nothing happened. Shutting my eyes again, I rolled onto my other side, hugging my pillow to my chest. Then there something else. A sound that made my skin crawl. Pushing myself up, I shifted toward the sound. It was like a hoarse growl, mixed with a voice that was trying to speak but couldn't.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Sitting up, I listened again, only now there was nothing. Getting up, I started to pace my apartment, listening and looking out the windows for anything that was wrong. Making a second round, I looked out the patio doors to my balcony, seeing a man walking down the street. He was staggering around, not really paying attention to anything around him. I watched him hit a car and go down. Then he got back up and started down the direction he had come. He was more than likely drunk. That's wasn't new.

Waving it all off, I went back to bed. The banging had stopped and I couldn't hear anything else. Everything was as quiet as it usually was. Hugging my pillow again, I was awake for maybe another half hour before I fell asleep again. Sleeping soundly until my alarm went off.

Getting up, my morning routine went down like it always it. Today I decided to play some music as I got ready, leaving nothing else to distract me. Making my coffee, I turned everything off, sipping it as I moved to my door. I was about to open it when something banged against it, making me jump. Looking through the peephole, I saw no one there but there was blood smearing across the wall across from me.

"What the hell?" I whispered.

About to turn the knob, there was screaming and a man ricocheted back and forth across the hall, leaving more blood. Shudders entered my breathing as I watched a woman walk by. She was slow and making the same sounds that I'd heard last night. As soon as she was out of sight, I stood there, listening. Now there was the faint sound of screaming.

I was unsure but still not convinced that something was going on. Opening the door, I stepped out, locking the door before moving down the hall. Whatever I'd heard was over now. Everything was as quiet as it ever was. I was maybe halfway down the hall when car alarms started to go off. There was the sound of sirens. A lot of them. Thinking that I'd run into a multiple car pileup, I didn't think past that until I made it to the stairs.

Stopping, there was blood everywhere. All along the wall and on every step down to the first landing. There were two people on the landing. One was just a body. It was the man. The woman was kneeling next to him with his entrails in her hands and I could hear her chewing on them. The sound of slick flesh being pulled through teeth. I couldn't help the gag that left my throat. She froze before she looked up at me. Her eyes were grey and half her face was missing. Then she resumed her chewing, still gripping the intestines as she started to make her way back up the stairs. She stumbled but was managing. Taking a step backward, there was a snarl, making me lurch backward, narrowly missing the man who had been about to bite my face. He hit the wall, falling backward, knocking the woman as he fell. They tumbled down and there was an audible crack. The woman got up again, the man as well, only his head was lolling to the side. It was clearly broken, lolling around as he followed the woman back up the stairs.

They were halfway up when I finally turned and ran. I hadn't made it home yet when there was screaming and a woman came flying out of her apartment. She swiftly gripped me, screaming and yelling so loud and fast that I couldn't figure out what she was saying to me. Her arm was slick with blood and there was an obvious bite mark. Before I could do anything, her teenaged son appeared behind her, pulling her back as he sunk his teeth into her neck. She screamed and gripped on to me so tightly, practically taking me down with her as she dropped to her knees. Managing to pull free, I turned and sprinted to my door, fumbling with the key. There was another moaning sound and the old man next door fell into the hallway, his legs mangled but he was still managing to crawl toward me.

"Come on." I told my keys. "Come on, come on, come on!"

Finally getting it, I opened the door, falling into my home as bloody fingers gripped the doorframe. Kicking the door, it slammed against them but didn't break his hold. Kicking it twice more, the door slammed shut only I had four fingers lying in front of my door. Scrambling onto my feet, I locked the door, stepping away from it with shock. Turning toward the patio, I slowly stepped toward it, looking out to now see utter chaos. It was no longer quiet. People were stumbling through the streets. There was screaming and the constant sound of sirens. Whatever my father was afraid of…it was here.

 _Get it out. Get it ready._

Turning, I raced to my bedroom, taking out my gun from underneath the bed. I'd cleaned it maybe a month ago. It should be fine. Making sure the safety was on, I slipped a clip into it, putting one into the chamber. Putting it in the back of my pants, the feeling of the metal against my skin was cool and reassuring.

Grabbing all the ammo I had, I pulled down my shoulder bag and started to rush around grabbing whatever survival gear I happened to have and that wasn't much. Putting a candle and lighter inside of it, taking the knives from my woodblock and set them in the front pocket. Opening the fridge, I took the leftover hotdish and put it next to it. Grabbing the unperishable food I had, I dropped it all in as well. Then I grabbed all the bottled water I could fit, adding a few beers as well. I already felt like I needed one and if this was the last time I was here then…

Looking around, I went to the door, gripping the knob for a long time. Then I turned and rushed back into my bedroom, grabbing another pair of jeans and several shirts, as well as a sweatshirt. I was going to go home to my family. On my way out, I grabbed my computer, stared longingly at my movie collection and then was at the door again.

Once again gripping the knob, I stood there, thinking if I needed anything else. Turning yet again, I grabbed my phone charger, stuffing it into my bag. I felt like I had too much but if what my father said was true, then I needed to go home. I would start today and could be home by tomorrow. Everything else I needed was in my car.

Going to the door for a final time, I looked through the hole and couldn't see anything. Where was the man and the woman? I had to give myself a pep talk to make me even start to turn the knob. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and rushed out, locking it out of habit. Maybe I would be back after this all blew over. But judging by what I'd already experienced, I wasn't sure it was something any of us were ready for.

As soon as I was outside, there was smoke in the air, the yelling and screaming intensifying. Running to my car, I put everything into it, getting in and slammed the door shut, locking them. Pulling out of the parking lot, my first stop was the gas station. There were people everywhere but I managed to jerk into an open spot. Shoving the pump into my car, there were still a few empty gas cans on the ground. Sprinting to them, I ran back to my car, narrowly being hit before I stood between the pump and my car, shaking as I took in everything around me.

"This can't be happening." I whispered to myself. "This is unreal. It can't be – it can't be happening. What is happening?"

As soon as the car was full, I filled the containers, putting them into the back. I was just about to close the hatch when it was grabbed and a man was standing there with a frantic look on his face.

"Please, help me." He told me. "I just need one of those cans. Please! I need to get my family out of here. Please! Please help me!"

The look on his face was one of desperation. I didn't have the heart to tell him no. Nodding I handed him one, "Here. Get your family out of here."

"Thank you." He said gripping my arm tightly.

Watching him take off down the street, I slammed the hatch and got back in, putting it into drive and left as quickly as possible. I was already heading out of town, the traffic was horrendous, when the clinic popped into my head. The animals would just be left there to starve and die. Trying to convince myself that it wasn't my problem, I swore under my breath and got off the main road, rushing back to the clinic. Going to the back door, I opened it and let myself in, hearing glass breaking and the sound of voices.

Rushing into the back, I saw Ashley and her boyfriend filling bags with bandages and pills. "What are you doing?" I asked them.

"Caroline." Ashley said with fear. "We gotta go."

"I know." I told her. "But I couldn't leave the animals in their cages."

She smiled at me, "Of course you couldn't."

I smiled back at her, "Toss me some shit."

She smiled and tossed me packages of gauze and vetwrap. Grabbing bottles of lidocaine and opening the cupboards, I grabbed the doxycycline, antibiotic ointments, and carprofen. Rushing to the safe, I opened it and took out the tramadol, tossing some to Ashley before putting it in my bag as well.

"Help me with the animals." I told them.

They nodded and then we were moving. Opening all the kennels, we took them all, letting them into the main room before going to the back door. Ashley's boyfriend – what's-his-face – opened the door as we herded them all out. It didn't take long before it was just the humans.

"Be safe." I told Ashley as we were getting ready to go.

"You, too." She said and hugged me tightly.

Watching her go, I rushed to my car to see Mozzie sitting outside of it. "Yeah?" I asked him. He stood and barked, jumping up on the side of it. "Let's go."

Opening the door for him, I set my bag in the back before shutting the door. Turning to rush around to the driver's side, I came face to face with a man whose cheek was torn out of his face. His eyes were clouded and he lurched toward my neck, tilting his head to get better access. Shoving him away from me, he came back with dead weight, falling on top of me. Mozzie was barking frantically in the car as I held the man away from me. He kept snapping his teeth, growling at me, jerking toward me like a turtle does when it's eating. All my weapons were in the car. Screaming, my arms were already starting to shake from the exertion of holding him back. For a second my grip failed and his mouth came dangerously close to mine. But in the next second he was yanked off of me. I watched him get slammed onto the hood of the car, a knife being thrust under his chin.

I was on my feet faster than I thought possible, throwing myself into his arms as he turned to me, "Sean!"

"I knew I'd find you here." He told me.

"Thank you." I told him.

He just smiled at me, "You can thank me later. Get in."

Laughing lightly, I ran to the other side. Getting in, Mozzie moved to the back as Sean slid in, slamming the door shut. Looking at him, I just smiled and started it up, burning rubber with how fast I tore out of the parking off. Flying down the road, I was heading back to the main highway, hoping it would be less backed up.

"No." He told me. "Double back. We need to get on the side roads and go from there."

"Okay." I said and did as I was told.

For a few blocks there were narrow misses but nothing horrible. Not yet. But it was only a matter of time. Finally having to slam on the breaks, several people were moving toward us. All of them had various injuries. All of them seeming to be dead and yet alive. It didn't make sense. Powering through the group of them, we made it almost out of town when we were stopped. We had to maneuver around a cluster of cars, making it all too easy for people to cluster around us.

"What do we do?" I asked Sean.

He sighed as he gripped the hilt of his knife, "You keep driving. I'm going to get out and clear them."

"How?" I asked. "They're surrounding us."

He smiled at me, "I can handle it."

Nodding, completely unsure of this plan, I watching him push on the door hard enough to throw them off of it. He slammed the door and then he was moving, stabbing people in the head as they moved toward him. For a few agonizingly long moments he was out of sight.

"Sean." I said softly to myself. "Come on, Sean." Mozzie was whining in the backseat, pacing back and forth. Making it into the open, I was still rolling forward as I waiting for Sean to come back. "Come on, Sean."

Looking over my shoulder, I couldn't see him, only then the door flung open and he slid inside, slamming the door shut again. "Dive fast." He told me.

Flooring the gas pedal, we lurched forward, leaving them all behind us. Glancing over at him, there was blood on his arms and chest, lines and splatter against his face and neck. "Are you okay?" I asked him with worry.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"Sean." I said gently.

He looked at me, offering me a small smile, "I'm okay, Caroline."

Nodding, I reached over and took his hand, "Good."

"If we see any more people don't stop. Leave them behind or drive right through them." He told me.

Nodding, I attempted to drive quickly and yet safely. We weren't quiet outside the city and there were still people that were falling in and out of the streets. It didn't take long for us to leave the city behind, making it down a lesser used road. We made it to the next town only to find that it was worse on than the city. People were running through the streets. The damaged and the living. Sean kept yelling at me to keep driving. People were asking for help but Sean kept telling me to keep driving. He gripped my shoulder telling me that it was okay, that it was necessary. I couldn't help the undeniable guilt I felt as I drove through people who were asking for our help. Some fell and the car bounced as the car drove over them. It made my stomach turn and more than once nausea tried to take over. In the rearview mirror you could see the damaged people devouring the ones that we'd just murdered. Sometimes they didn't die and their screams would fill the air.

"We have to, Caroline." Sean told me. I nodded at him. "We can't take them with us. They'll overrun us and then they'll take the car and everything inside of it. Okay?"

Nodding again, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "I know. It doesn't make it any less hard."

"People are crazy." He said as a woman plastered herself against the window. Her arm was missing and we could see her ribs. "Damn it."

"We're almost through." I told him.

Stepping on the gas as there was a break in the action. We passed another group of them wandering along the side of the road. Limbs were missing and dangling. A man with his jaw detached on one side, swinging back and forth.

"How?" I asked softly.

"I don't know." He replied. "It doesn't matter right now." He added as he looked behind us. "Just keep driving."

Taking road after road, I attempted to bypass any other cars we saw, my mind moving a mile a minute. All of it kept flashing through my head, making everything else start to fall away. When I couldn't take it anymore, I went down a rather unbeaten road before I stopped. My hands were shaking and I had no idea what to think. Mozzie reached his head up, licking my cheek. Then a hand was over mine and I looked over at Sean. Forcing a smile, I leaned over and hugged him tightly, bringing my hand to the back of his head.

"You're okay." He told me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, leaning away as I put my hand against his face.

He smiled, "I came back for you."

"Why?" I asked. "Where's your wife?"

"She left." He replied. "She wouldn't come with me to get you so she went one way and I went another."

"Sean." I said and pressed my forehead to his.

In the next moment he was kissing me. I didn't know what I had been expecting but it felt ten times better than I had imagined. I'd imagined it so many times it almost felt like it had happened before. Now that it was, it was so much better.

"Let's get out of here." He told me.

"I was going to Minnesota."

He smiled and kissed me again, "Then let's go."

Smiling, I kissed him again, letting my lips linger against his. Just the touch of his lips, hearing that he came for me, it all made me feel so much better about this whole thing. I couldn't help but just grin at him before putting it in drive. Starting out again, we managed to find our way back to a road more traveled, then to a paved one. Driving till the sun set, we pulled off to the side, staying in the car and leaned our seats back.

"I'm exhausted." Sean told me.

"Do you think it's safe to sleep at the same time?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He replied.

Looking at him, I took his hand, "I'm happy you're here."

"I am too." He replied, leaning over and kissed me sweetly. "Go to sleep."

Shutting my eyes, he was the first to go to sleep. For a long time I listened to him, jerking at every sound. Looking in the back seat, Mozzie was sleeping soundly, a smile on his muzzle. If he was sleeping, I found it hard to believe that anything bad was out there. Sighing, I shut my eyes, going to sleep quickly.


	33. Before Part II

**Chapter Thirty-three: Before Part 2**

Weeks had gone by. We were officially out of gas, food, but were surprisingly lucky with our water supply. It was amazing how fast time went even though there was nothing to do. No job. No home. No car. Nothing like the world we used to live in. Only, nothing had turned into walking and surviving. Sean and I never made it out of the state. Things hadn't gone our way from the start. We had run into a herd of the dead that made us take alternate roads that led us in a big circle. We ran into a few people, some who wanted to help and others that wanted to hurt. In the end, we ended up on our own in the woods. We knew that anywhere populated would bring us closer to the dead. The woods seemed safer, coming across fewer numbers of both the living and the dead. Not to mention that there were plenty of places to hide.

"Orion." I pointed as we lay under the stars.

"Big Dipper."

"Little Dipper."

"And," He replied, "that is pretty much all the constellations I know." Then he laughed and looked at me.

Laughing, I nodded, "Me, too." Rolling over, I put my hand against his face, rubbing his cheek as I stared into his eyes. "I can't be sad that the world has ended when I get to spend it with you."

He laughed and brought my face to his, kissing me deeply and passionately. "I have wanted this since the second I laid eyes on you."

Smiling, I brushed my nose against his, "What took you so long?"

"I was trying to be faithful to my wife."

"Then she was the one who left you."

"And I was free to leave and find you."

Grinning down at him, I kissed him repeatedly. Reaching for his pants, about to show him a good time, there was the rattling of cans and my head jerked up toward the sound. Pushing against his chest, I got up and picked up the knife that was next to me. Moving toward the trap, I could hear it. I didn't hesitate to stab it through its head, shoving it away from me. Making sure the line was intact; I went back to Sean, cleaning my blade before dropping onto my stomach next to him.

"You're getting good at that." He commented.

"I have to be. We have to be." I replied. "There are no second chances with the dead. You have one chance. I'm not going to die and become one of them. I'm not going to let you. So I will master the knife and the gun and whatever else I have to in order to keep us alive."

"You're kind of amazing." He smiled, trailing his fingers across my arm.

"Thank you." I smiled. "I am aware but it's nice to hear."

"I think you're better than me."

I rested my arm on his chest, leaning against him, "You've taught me a lot about surviving out here. Thanks to you I think we'll survive this apocalypse and help repopulate it when it's over."

Laughing, he pulled me tight against him, "I'd follow you anywhere, Caroline."

"Good." I said and kissed him. "I'd follow you anywhere, too."

Falling asleep, we had not only the can alarm system but Mozzie was more than affective at letting us know when danger was near. He made it okay to fall asleep even though we were in the open. He made a lot of things easier. He helped us find and catch food. He could smell out nearby water sources. If any of us were amazing it would be him. Together we all made a very affective team.

When morning came, we packed up, checked the snares from overnight, and headed on our way. We were lucky enough to have caught three rabbits and the meat would keep our stomachs full for at least a few days. As long as we didn't get too carried away. Rationing was hard when you were used to eating what you wanted when you wanted. It was hard to adjust knowing that you could literally starve to death if you weren't careful.

"What I wouldn't give for a big, cheesy pizza right now." I told him as we walked.

"Beer." He replied. "I want an ice cold beer and an oversized comfy chair."

Moaning with longing, I nodded at him, "And cheese popcorn."

He laughed, "You and your damn cheese popcorn obsession."

"I'm sorry." I told him. "It's just so damn delicious."

Hearing cracking of sticks, Mozzie's hackles rose and we pulled out our knives. Hearing the first sound of the dead, there was only one. Looking at each other, we moved on. One wasn't enough to make us to go out of our way for. One you could escape and it wasn't worth the risk of something happening.

"After we're done refilling, I think we should find shelter for the night." He told me as he squatted at the stream.

"There's a few hours of daylight left." I replied.

He nodded, "I know. But I'm ready to stop for the day. It's not like we have a destination in mind."

I couldn't argue with that. "Someday we'll come across a place we can call home. We should just make a cabin out here. We could build four walls that would protect us."

He smiled, "Would you like that?"

I smiled and nodded, "I would like that. I'd like that very much."

"And just be with me for the rest of your life?" He asked. "You don't think you want to find a group of people that we could call family?"

"That would be nice, too." I told him. "But at the end of the day, all I really need is you." Then Mozzie was pressing against me, asking for attention. "Yes, of course. You, too." Petting him, I looked at Sean who was giving me quite the adoring look. "What?"

"Why couldn't I have met you years ago?" He asked. "I would have gotten out of my marriage, been with you, and we would have been together a lot longer."

"I don't know." I told him. "I'm just happy it happened. Every day with you feels like we've been together forever. And I'm happy."

"Me, too." He said and pulled me to him, kissing me deeply. "You make me happy."

Grinning, we continued to kiss until Mozzie started to give his own, making us separate. Finding a spot that would do well for camp, we set up the traps, started a small fire, set the rabbits to cook, and sat on our blanket. I was between his legs and he was holding me tight against him. I felt like I could fall asleep, safe and happy in his arms. Only then Mozzie started to growl. It wasn't a walker kind of growl but a human one.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A man's voice spoke from behind us.

We looked up but before we could do or say anything, we were both grabbed, being hoisted onto our feet before being forced onto our knees. A rope had been thrown over Mozzie's neck, making him bark and flail before one of the men managed to pin him to the ground. There were five of them, four men and one woman. They looked like they'd seen better days but they were bulky enough, and the woman was smiling a knowing smile.

"Sean." I said softly.

"It's okay." He replied.

"Is it though?" The man spoke again. He was young and looked like he used a lot of drugs in his day, but he looked strong. "Is it okay? I'm thinking the opposite might be more accurate."

"What do you want?" I asked him with as much bravery as I could muster.

"You two appear to have been quite lucky. You have food and water. Weapons. A fucking dog for protection." He replied. "I'd say you two are very well off."

"If you promise not to hurt us, we'll share what we have." Sean told him.

The man looked at his comrades. "Yeah, you see, that's not really how we do things. In this world, there isn't a whole lot of sharing. You take so you can survive. Kill or be killed."

"You don't have to kill us." I stated quickly.

"You're right." He nodded. "I don't think I do. You seem like decent people so I think I'll let you live. However, you'll have to work hard since we're going to take all your shit."

"You don't have to –"

I was cut off as I was hit over the head. Falling forward, Mozzie was barking frantically and Sean kept saying my name. Only then there was a grunt, the sound of laughter, and before everything fell away, there was the sound of a thud as he fell next to me.

When I woke up, I was still on my stomach. It took my vision a long moment to gain focus and with it came the sound of walkers. I could see them ahead of me and above me, lifting my head, there was easily a half dozen surrounding us.

"Sean." I said rushing to his side. "Baby." He was on his stomach and I swiftly rolled him over. "Sean." I said with my hand against his face. Leaning down, I started to shake when I felt no air against my cheek. "Sean!" Putting my head against his chest, there was no sound. "No, no, please."

Swiftly starting CPR, I looked around me as I compressed his chest. Everything was gone. Breathing into him, I kept going. The food was gone. The blanket. Mozzie. Everything. They'd taken everything. I breathed into him again. What had they done to him? What were they going to do to Mozzie?

"Sean!" I yelled, breathing for him again. "Please." I said taking his face in my hands. Starting compressions again, he coughed and rolled toward me. "Thank God." I said putting my hands on him. "You're okay."

"What the hell?" He said as he rolled onto his back again.

"Sean." I said taking his face in my hands.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Smiling, I nodded at him, leaning down and kissed him deeply, "Baby, are you okay?"

"Yeah." He said and sat up. Sitting on my heels, I held onto him as he looked around. "It's all gone."

"It's all gone." I confirmed. He leaned against my shoulder, resting his head. "We're gonna be okay."

"Thank you." He told me, meeting my eyes.

I smiled with tears in my eyes, "I wouldn't make it long without you."

He smiled, brushing my bangs out of my eyes, "You would."

"You don't get to die."

"Neither do you." He smiled and then kissed me.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, telling him, "We should move."

"Yeah." He said looking at the dead. "What are we gonna do about them?"

Picking up a rock, I launched it at one of the dead, hitting it square in the face. There was a crunching and wet sound as it slumped over the trap line. "What we have to do." I replied.

Tossing a few more rocks, I cleared our way, helping him onto his feet as we started to move again. Keeping him going for as long as I could, when we finally stopped to rest, he leaned against a tree while I stayed standing, scanning every direction for humans and walkers alike.

"Caroline, you need to rest." He told me.

"No, I don't." I replied without looking at him.

"Baby." He said getting me to look at him. "Come here." He added, holding his hand out to me.

Sighing, I took his hand and he pulled me down into his lap. Straddling it, I took his head in my hands, pressing my forehead against his. "Are you still feeling okay?"

He smiled, "My chest hurts a little where the love of my life saved me, but other than that I feel fine."

Laughing lightly, I started to kiss him, leaning as far into him as I could, "I love you."

"You are by far my most favorite person." He whispered.

Grinning, I was kissing him again, "And you're mine."

Walking till the sun started to set, we made camp as best we could. Making a small fire, Sean laid by it, letting out a heavy sigh. Smiling at him, I sat next to him, refusing to lie down despite how hard he was trying to make me. I was too anxious to sleep and I had an overwhelming need to never sleep again.

* * *

Staying awake all night, watching him sleep, nothing happened. There were no dead and no living. When the sun was up, I gently woke Sean, wanting him to sleep and yet felt the need to keep moving. Maybe we'd luck out and find a hunting shack or something. Anything to give us a sense of security.

"Did you sleep at all?" He asked me as we walked.

"No." I told him. "But I feel good. I'm okay."

He sighed and pulled me against his side, "You're not. That's two nights now."

"I know. And I am." I said looking up at him. "As long as we both stay breathing, I'll stay awake for as long as I have to."

"Tonight you sleep. In fact, it's nearly midday, we should stop and you can get an hour or two."

"No." I told him.

"Don't be stubborn about this." He told me kindly as he pressed a kiss against my shoulder. "Please, baby." Meeting his eyes, he kissed me deeply, "Please?"

Sighing, I nodded, making him pull me in front of him, kissing me properly. "I love you."

"I love you." He replied. "Now rest. It's my turn to keep watch."

"Okay." I smiled.

Lying down at the base of a tree, I tucked my arm underneath my head, watching him for a few minutes before I fell asleep. It felt so good to sleep. This new world offered little in the sleep department and now that the living had become as bad as the dead, it made me never want to sleep again. But I trusted him. I trusted him with my life.

"Caroline!" My name was screamed.

Slowly waking up, I cracked my eyes open, nearly coming face to face with a walker. Scrambling up, I fell backward, seeing walkers moving all around us. Looking at Sean, he had a rock in his hand, beating them as best he could. Getting to my feet, I grabbed the nearest rock, darting to his side, slamming it into the face of a walker that was about to bite him, I took his hand and started to pull him forward.

"Run!" He said as he took the lead, my hand firmly in his.

Moving past a set of trees, several walkers seemed to appear out of nowhere. Leaping backward out of the reach of one, I spun, hitting the temple of another with the rock. It fell and didn't get back up. Turning yet again, I gasped with how close the walker was, pushing against it as it took me to the ground. My hands were slipping against it, blood covering nearly all the skin I could see. I cried out as my hand slipped, only then there was another between us, forcing it back. It turned its head and then I heard Sean scream.

"No!" I screamed as I shoved it away from him. He fell to his knees, gripping his shoulder. "Get up." I said as I took his head in my hands. "Get up, Sean."

"Go, Linny." He smiled at me.

"Get up!" I screamed before pulling on him.

He got up and I put his arm around me, running. The dead were coming but we still had the advantage of speed. Stumbling, I jerked left before falling to the right, taking us both down a hill, landing in a stream. It was deeper than it looked, slipping and falling, being moved downstream before finally making it to the other side. Clambering up the embankment, I helped Sean, once again putting his arm over my shoulders before keeping us moving.

"Caroline, I need to stop." He told me, falling to his knees.

"Sean." I said with panic, looking around as I dropped to my knees in front of him. "We need to find shelter."

"I'm a dead man." He told me. "We both know it."

My shaking all but subsided. Glaring at him, I took his head in my hands, "You're not dead yet. Now move."

He smiled and nodded, using my shoulders to get back onto his feet. Moving forward we were both breathing hard, pushing ourselves as hard as we could. When the sun was getting low, and the woods became dark, I was starting to feel the fatigue and I was thinking far too much about the bite that was inflicted against the man I loved.

"There." He said pointing off. "Do you see that?"

Following his line of sight, I sighed, "Thank God."

Staggering forward, he let me go, leaning against the side of the shack as I searched for a decent sized rock. As soon as I found one, I looked at Sean, taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I slammed it against the door. No sound came but that didn't mean anything. Throwing the door open, I rushed in, the rock held high. Looking around, seeing a cot, an old worn table, and a few random items in the corner, I swiftly walked out, gripping Sean and helped him inside. There was a blanket on the cot and I swiftly set him down onto it.

"I'll find some water." I told him, running my hand down the side of his face. "Use the blanket for now. I'll start a fire when I get back."

"Linny." He said gripping my hand.

"Linny?" I smirked at him.

"Yeah." He said softly.

"Since when do you call me Linny?"

He smiled sheepishly, "It's what I call you in my dreams."

Smiling, I knelt, moving between his legs. Taking his head in my hands, I started to kiss him, loving him with all of me. In the next second he gripped me, swiftly laying me on my back. The heat between us rose so fast, everything but him seeming to blur. His hand reached for my pants, mine doing the same. All our clothes were lost and he made love to me with more passion than I'd ever felt before. Every inch of me was on fire, even though blood was dripping onto my shoulder from his. Kissing him as deeply and as passionately as possible, I flew higher than I ever had before, squeezing him as we arched together, moaning with pleasure before we started to come down.

"I love you more than anything." He told me with his lips against mine.

"I love you more than anything, too." I replied, running my hands up and down his chest, trailing my finger through the hair of it. Though a wave of sadness moved over me. "I can't lose you. I won't survive without you."

"You will." He smiled at me. "You will, baby. You're going to survive this whole damn thing."

Meeting his eyes, there was a glistening in them despite the smile on his face. Forcing a smile for him, he started to cry, dropping his face into my neck. I swiftly started to cry with him, holding him as tightly as I could, never wanting to let him go. When he started to calm down, I forced myself to do the same. I needed to be strong for him. I needed to be there for him.

"I love you." He told me as he met my eyes again. "Never forget that."

"Never, baby." I smiled, kissing him deeply, "I love you."

It was still a few minutes before we got up and started to get dressed again. Doing the same, I stopped him from putting on his shirt, taking a closer look at the bite. It was still bleeding a little, veins of infection moving outward from it.

"How do you feel?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He smirked. "I can't decide if I'm actually feeling something or if it's just psychological since I know what's going to happen."

Smiling, I helped him put his shirt on. "Maybe a little bit of both."

"Maybe." He smiled and took my face in his hands, kissing me again.

"I'm going to go find you some water." I told him.

"I'm fine, baby. I don't want you to leave right now."

"Sean, you need food and water. At least water. You need something before it gets too far and we don't really know how quick that'll happen."

"I don't want to die without you." He told me.

"You won't." I frowned at him. "Baby, I am going to be with you for the rest of your life." His brows furrowed and he nodded, dipping his chin. "Sean, I will never leave you. No matter what happens."

He nodded at me, "Find a weapon."

Swallowing a lump in my throat, I nodded, leaning up and kissed him again, "I'll be back soon."

"Okay." He smiled.

"Rest." I commanded. "Please be here when I get back."

"I will be." He nodded.

Kissing him again, he wrapped his arm around my neck, keeping my lips against his. "Love you."

Forcing myself away from him, I swiftly left, knowing that if I didn't I never would. Looking in every direction, I moved away from the shack, making sure I was far enough away before I stumbled to my knees. Screaming and sobbing, I dug my hands into the ground, letting all my agony out where Sean wouldn't see. I couldn't show him how much this hurt. He was the one who was bit and was going to die. He was the one who was going to be hurting far more than me.

Sobbing for a good long while, I finally got to my feet, my cheeks were burning and tears still fell, but I needed to find water. I needed to find him something that would help him. Even though we both knew that there was no help for him. Bending over, I started to cry again, straightening, continuously blinking to keep my vision clear.

Coming across a stream, for a moment I was excited, then I realized that I had nothing to carry it back to him with. Dropping to my knees, I started to sob again, screaming again, needing to get it out. Needed to release the emotion that was pouring out of me.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked aloud. "What am I gonna do?!" I screamed.

Looking up and down the stream, I hoped to find something that had been dropped. Hell, I'd take a body right now that I could loot. A water bottle. A flask. Anything. I would literally take anything right now. Only there was nothing. I didn't find a goddamn thing. My desperation went as far as trying to hold a mouthful of water with a leaf. I couldn't make it more than a few yards without losing over half of it. Sitting and silently crying, I didn't make my way back to him until the sun was nearly down. I lost my way more than once before I finally found the shack again.

Taking a moment outside to compose myself, I went inside to see Sean sleeping on the cot. Leaning against the door, I rested my head against it, letting silent tears fall from the corners of my eyes. Finally moving toward him, I side sat on the floor, putting my head in my hand as I stared at him. Gently touching his forehead, he was warm. Biting my lip to stop myself from crying, I got up and started look for anything usable. In the corner of the room was some sort of pot, not one for cooking yet not flower-like either. Picking it up, a smell hit me that made me hold it as far away from myself as I could. Going outside, I dumped out some gross ass shit, getting as much of the liquid out as I could before starting to shove as dry a grass as I could find as well as small branches.

Digging out a small space on the ground, I set to making a fire, smacking the rocks together so much that my thumbs were cramping up. But finally I managed to get a few flames. Setting other sticks on fire, I dropped them into the pot. For a while there was a lot of smoke, no matter how hard I blew into it, but after a while it finally started to ignite. Adding enough so it came out the top a little, I took it back inside with a small group of twigs.

"You're here." Sean said as I set it down on the small worn table.

Smiling, I went to him, "I am."

"Did you find water?" He asked.

"I did." I nodded. "Only I have no way of getting it to you."

He laughed a little, coughing lightly, "Yeah, neither of us thought that one through."

Grinning, I leaned down and kissed him, "We'll be all right though."

"You will." He said gently brushing my bangs from my face.

Sighing, attempting to hold it together, I ran my fingers through his hair. It had gotten longer since the world had ended. So had his beard, but I didn't mind. I'd take him any way I could.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked him.

"Survive." He replied with conviction. "Promise me, Linny. Promise me that you will survive. You're not allowed to die because I did. Promise me that you will go on. You'll find someone so you're not alone. You'll fall in love again."

"Sean." I frowned, shaking my head.

"You will, Linny. You will fall in love again and that's okay." He smiled. "Promise me."

"I promise." I told him, the words sticking in my throat.

He laughed lightly again, "You can do better than that."

"How can you ask me to promise you something like that?" I frowned at him. "I've wanted you and only you for months and we only got weeks together. _Weeks_. How can you ask me to fall in love when I've barely begun loving you?"

"Because you have a bigger heart than anyone I've ever met." He smiled. "You need someone to face the world with, Linny. I'm giving you permission to fall in love and make that happen."

"That's not fair."

"It is fair." He laughed. "You're too amazing to not have someone. A counterpart. A lover. The love of your life."

"Sean."

"I'm not the love of your life, Linny. If I was, I wouldn't be leaving you. But you know what it feels like now. You'll know it when you find it. When you find _him_ , whoever he may be."

"I don't want him. I want you." I cried.

"And you'll have me until I die." He smiled. I nodded. "Promise me."

"I promise you, Sean." I told him even though my heart wasn't in it. "I promise I will survive and fall in love again."

"Don't let this world destroy you." He frowned. "You are the kind of person we need in this world."

Laughing, I shook my head, "I think the fever is getting to you."

"Caroline." He frowned harder. "Please. I'm serious. You are amazing and kind and I know that this world will make you hard but you still have to hold on to who you are."

"The world won't make me hard." I told him. "You dying. Losing you. That is what will make me hard."

He smiled, caressing my face, "I am in love with you and I know that this is going to be hard but you are strong enough to handle it. Just…think of me every now and again, and when you meet the love of your life, I hope he reminds you of me. Find me again, Linny. I'll be waiting for you."

That did it.

Goddamn that did it.

All I could do was nod before sobbing took me over again. I sobbed into him, my chest hurting with the effort and yet I couldn't stop. He couldn't die. I needed him. I needed him far more than he thought I did. I had so much more to learn and experience with him. He may think me strong but right now I was anything but.

Having cried myself to sleep, my head was against his chest and I could hear his heart and his breathing, wanting to memorize the sound. I woke to him coughing, hearing the liquid in his lungs as I opened my eyes. Swiftly getting up, I sat on the edge of the cot, looking down at him. He looked sick. He was getting worse.

"I'm sorry I slept." I told him, dabbing his forehead with my shirt.

"Don't be." He smiled. "If I could save you from watching this I would. But we both know that you won't listen to anything I have to say on the subject."

I shook my head, "Hell no."

He laughed before coughing. Then he gripped my arms and I helped him sit, watching him vomit something disgusting onto the floor. He laid back again, shutting his eyes as I wiped his mouth clean.

He took my hand, "Thank you."

"You're thanking me for wiping vomit from your mouth?" I smirked at him.

He cracked his eyes open, "Will it stop you from kissing me?"

Smiling, I leaned down and kissed him deeply. Whatever it was tasted gross and there was the hint of blood. Feeling emotional again, I smiled at him, "Nothing will stop me from kissing you."

"Good." He replied. "Keep going."

Laughing, I started to kiss him again. He brought his hand to my face, his thumb running along my cheek as I did the same. Even though I knew every line of his face, every sound and every move that he made…if felt as if there wasn't enough time to engrain it in my mind. I didn't want to forget one thing about him. I wanted to carry him with me. I wanted him so engrained in my mind that I could easily imagine his face and the sound of his voice. He may be leaving me physically but I wanted him to be with me mentally for the rest of my life. Was that so much to ask?

"It's too quiet." He whispered as I stared down at him.

"I thought you were sleeping." I said softly as I pressed a kiss against his forehead.

He coughed a little, "I was, but I felt you watching me."

Grinning, I leaned down and kissed him, "I was staring quite intently."

"Fill the silence, baby." He told me softly, starting to drift off again.

We'd done this before. I knew what he wanted and I would never understand why. I didn't have a good voice. Just because I loved singing, it didn't mean I was any good at it and didn't mean that I wanted anyone other than myself to hear me.

"Please." He whispered.

Sighing, I shook my head at the ceiling, grinning down at him. Then I started to sing, "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping. While you're far away dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure."

Continuing to sing softly to him, he fell asleep quickly, and I kept singing. If that was what made him feel better then I'd go through all the ballads I knew to comfort him. I wasn't the one who was dying but if my selfishness was enough to keep him alive than I would continue to be selfish.

I watched him die for the next two days. We talked and we laughed and we shared things that mattered most to us. We told each other what we wanted the other to know before it was too late. Then I watched him slip away one gasping breath at a time. I knew I should have ended his suffering sooner but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was still being selfish. I sang to him at the end, per his request, staring at him until he took his last breath. I'd remember it forever. There was a sense of relief in it. It was over. He wasn't in pain anymore.

I sobbed over his body for hours until I felt the twitch of his fingers as I held tight to his hand. My other was against his face and I felt the twitch of his cheek as he came back to life. I stared even then, watching in horror as he took a breath, only he wasn't actually breathing. He didn't need to breathe anymore. It was an involuntary response to whatever brain activity was brought back. Then I watched him open his eyes. They were now white and muddy. They weren't the chocolatey brown that made me melt every time I looked into them.

They were dead.

He was dead.

I knew I couldn't leave him like this. In the hours where he was sleeping, I had managed to sharpen the end of a stick, knowing that I would have to do what he had asked of me. He didn't want to roam the earth as one of them. He wanted to stay dead. I knew I had to do it. Lingering too long, he was starting to knead my forearms as he started to growl. Attempting to pull himself up.

It was time.

I didn't let him sit up. Pulling my arm free, I took the stick, stabbing him though his eye. I knew it would be soft enough so the stick wouldn't break. He stilled immediately, his arm falling off the edge of the cot. I'd never be able to forget the feeling of it. The sound it had made. The smell of death that was lingering in the room. It was too much. No one should have to do this. No one should have to see or hear or smell what I just had to see and hear and smell.

Sobbing into him for god knew how long, I once again cried myself to sleep. My body and mind needing a reprieve as I drowned in my grief. When I woke, the smell of death was stronger, making my eyes water. Pushing myself up, I looked down at him, unable to stop staring at the hole I'd put through his eye. I shifted my gaze to the stick that was laying on the ground. Grabbing it, I screamed as I broke it into as many pieces as I possibly could. It was easier to blame the stick than myself.

My fit of rage went further than the stick as I destroyed the table, tearing at the walls, feeling my nails bend and break. Using all my energy, I ended up on my knees, breathing hard as I took in my bloodied hands. Tears were hot on my cheeks as I lifted my eyes to Sean. Sobbing once again took me over as I scrambled across the floor to him, taking his hand, hugging his arm to my chest as I rocked.

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed. "I am so, so sorry. Sean! Please! I am so sorry!"

Continuing to sob, I pressed his hand against my cheek, the coolness of his skin feeling good against the heat of mine. When the sobs finally stopped, I still held his hand, rocking as I stared at the floor. My mind was now moving through everything I could have done differently. It was my fault. There had to be have been something I could have done that would have prevented this.

"I shouldn't have slept." I whispered. "If I hadn't slept, I would have been awake to help him."

Looking up at him, I knew that I had to bury him. It would only get worse the longer I waited. Forcing myself to move, my body ached, making it hard to steady myself. Staggering outside, I looked for a patch of earth that looked like it would be easier to dig into. Settling on an area underneath a large red maple, I tore large pieces of bark from a stump in an attempt to help dig the hole. When that didn't work, I went for the pot, only that was worse. In the end, I did it mostly with my hands. They were already beaten only now all of my nails were bent, broken, bloody, and dirty. There were scrapes littering my hands and arms. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and my arms felt like Jell-O. But it was done. It was shallower than I would have liked, and the thought of animals coming for him made my stomach turn, but I couldn't make it any deeper. I just…I couldn't.

Going back into the shack, I spent a long time just staring at him again. My body needed a rest and I just wasn't ready yet. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready to keep going without him. I had lost everything. I lost my love. I lost my dog. I lost everything we'd accomplished along the way. I lost _everything_. And now he expected me to just keep going. He expected me to find people and fall in love and live a life worth living.

THERE WAS NO LIFE WORTH LIVING!

Not anymore.

But I made a promise to him. I made a promise and I knew how disappointed he'd be if I didn't keep it. At the same time, it seemed so much easier if I just ended it now. There was no life without him. There was no life worth living when I was all alone. Nothing was guaranteed and I couldn't even imagine how I was going to find others out here. I had no direction. I was lost. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Falling to my knees, I couldn't stop the sobs from starting again. "I can't do this." I sobbed. "Sean, I can't do this without you. It's too hard." Doubling over, I let my head fall into my hands. "I can't do this. I don't want to."

Sobbing, I didn't stop until the sound of growling caught my ears. I was making too much noise. I was bringing them in. Turning, the walker staggered over the threshold. Staggering to my feet, I felt like one of the dead. He didn't want me to turn hard. But I already felt like I was gone too. I watched as it moved toward me. Its jaws snapping. It was missing an arm. The other was hanging from nothing but tendons, swinging as it attempted to walk a straight line. Its teeth were exposed, part of its scalp torn and flapping.

It was getting closer.

Part of me wanted to just let it bite me. Spill my blood and devour me and then it would all be over. I'd be with Sean again. I'd be happy. This life wasn't worth living if this was what happened. It wasn't fair. Nothing about this was fair and it was killing me. Why not just let it end here?

The walker had closed the distance between us, falling forward so it could latch on to me. In the last second, I shoved it backward, screaming as I fell to my knees from the effort. It sat up, but I didn't let it stand. Moving behind it, I took the collar of its shirt and dragged it outside and away from where I was going to bury Sean. Throwing it down, it tried to sit up again but I slammed my foot into its face. Gripping the trunk of a tree, I slammed my foot down onto its head over and over and over again. Even after it was torn apart, I kept crushing it, finding a measure of relief as I destroyed what made it keep living.

I was once again feeling drained when I finally moved back to the shack. But I didn't stop and stare this time. I lifted his torso up, hooking my arms underneath his before I started to drag him from the room. It seemed easier for some reason. I was exhausted and yet he seemed lighter than I had thought he would be.

Reaching the grave, I gently lowered him into it, making sure he was comfortable. The thought made me laugh. He was gone. He didn't need comfort anymore. But my laughs soon turned to tears and seeing him lying in the ground sent a new wave of grief crashing down on me and I once again stared and sobbed. I'd never felt anything like this before. This…this was something no one should have to feel.

Burying him, I felt the most defeated I ever had in my life. I didn't know I was able to feel this low. Kneeling at his grave, I stared at the dirt. I stared at the tree above him. I stared at my hands. I couldn't seem to make myself blink. I was so exhausted. Needing to make some sort of marker for him, I gathered rocks, digging them up if I had to, and placed them in a cross over the fresh dirt. Gathering smaller ones, I wrote his name with them above his head.

Lingering for a time, I finally forced myself to walk away from the man I loved. He couldn't follow me where I was going. Not anymore. Even though I had no idea where that was. I had no destination. I had no home. No partner. I was truly and completely alone. The weight of it ebbing and flowing as I walked. Tears streamed and in this moment I wanted nothing more than to die myself. More than once it became more than a thought as I actually considered it. But I kept going back to the promise I had made. Sean made me promise him and it was important to keep it. He was right to ask what he did and yet it felt so impossible. What would the world be if we lost all our humanity? Those who still had it needed to hold onto it as tightly as possible. Sean used to tell me that. At the same time the world was already ruined so who gives a flying fuck if we survived? No one would remember me anyway. I never made it home and if they were dead than everything I ever was, was gone. I just didn't see the point of it. Not anymore.

Living sucked.

Despite hating life and wishing myself dead, I kept walking. My mind repeating everything over and over and over again. Living seemed to become an unconscious act. My mind was lost while my feet just kept moving. One step at a time. I didn't eat. I didn't drink. I hardly slept. Part of me wanted to just fall asleep and be eaten without being able to try and stop it.

Late one night, I sat in the dark, listening to nature as I stared off at nothing as I dwelled on Sean. Shutting my eyes I pictured his face, my fingers running up and down my arm as I remembered his touch. Then the tears would start and I once again grieved the man that I had lost. It wasn't fair. Nothing about this was fair and I knew that the world didn't deal in fairness but…how could it start the way it did and then end like this? Why was I alive and he was dead?

It should have been me.

Anger didn't take long to set in. I needed someone to blame. For a while I blamed myself. Only then it shifted and I started to blame those who had attacked us. The people who took everything, even our dog, and disappeared into the woods. Focusing on that anger, I went back to where it happened. I looked at the ground and thanks to Sean, I knew what I was looking for. I could figure out what direction that they went and I could set out to find them. I didn't know how I was going to pull it off but I knew that I was going to kill them. I would do whatever I had to, to get Mozzie and our belongings back. Sean was in those bags and it would be another way of keeping him with me.

I would get it back.

I'd get him back.

It took nearly a day just to figure out which way they went. I was inexperienced and I wasn't thinking straight. All I knew was that I needed to find them. Once I finally found a trace of people, nearly a week went by as I tracked them down, moving back and forth, giving up before setting out again. I couldn't leave Mozzie to suffer them. I couldn't let them get away with what they did. I wouldn't. They would pay.

I was roaming after dark, not having any way of protecting myself from the walkers. Now that I had a mission, I didn't long for death anymore. Not my own. I longed for the death of those who had wronged us. Hearing the crackling of a fire, I slowly moved toward the sound. As I got closer I could hear talking and laughter followed by growling and a yelp. Mozzie. It was them. My blood started to boil and it took all of me to keep my calm. Moving up behind them I couldn't just charge in. If I did then I'd be dead and Mozzie would have no one to help him.

Circling their little camp, I sat and waited, watching as they pulled things in and out of my bag. Seeing Mozzie muzzled and tied to a tree opposite of where they were. He was too much in the firelight for me to get to him. Clenching my jaw, I sat crouched, waiting for one of them to move. At one point the wind shifted and I saw Mozzie's head jerk up, his ears turned in my direction. It took all of me not to say something or to show him that I was here. He knew but he wasn't sure. Not yet.

Keeping quiet, I watched and waited. And it paid off. The woman stood and started to move away from the camp. Silently moving to follow her, as soon as she had dropped her pants, I grabbed her around her throat, squeezing tightly so she couldn't make a sound. Swiftly checking her for a weapon, I pulled my knife from her belt loop.

"Rookie mistake." I told her, showing her the blade. "Are you ready to die?" She attempted to struggle and there was the sound of liquid hitting the ground. She'd pissed herself. "Good." I told her with disdain. "I want you to be afraid. This is for what you did. This is for Sean."

Stabbing her several times in her stomach, I held her tight until she couldn't hold herself up anymore. Leaving her there, I moved back toward the camp, waiting for another to get up and move. As the minutes ticked by, it didn't even seem like they were concerned about their friend. She was gone and they were just sitting there, laughing and talking.

It seemed to take forever for one of them to get up, only before I could move to follow him, there was a sound from behind me and I turned to see the woman moving toward me. Swearing under by breath, she hadn't been bitten or scratched. I'd simply killed her and yet she had risen. Only in the next second I realized that she could be very useful. Moving behind her, I gripped the back of her shirt, leading her forward. She was slow and clumsy and it took all of me not make a sound.

When I finally was close enough, I shoved her at the back of one of the men and watched as she latched on to them, digging into their neck. I ducked down as they started to panic, one pulling out a gun and just started firing. He hit not only the woman but his friend as well. Another had his gun up, clearly not sure what to do. Coming up behind him, I swiftly took the gun from him, shooting out his knee before the shoulder of another, a stomach, and then through the head of the woman and the man she had latched on to.

"This is mine." I told the man I'd taken if from.

"Jesus." One of the others said.

"You left us for dead." I smirked. "Well, guess what? I didn't die. But you sure as hell are." Shooting him in his gut, I turned to the man I was standing next to. He was holding his knee. "You will die in agony. You will bleed out and I will smile as I watch it all happen."

"Oh God!" One of the others was carrying on.

Shooting the one next to me in the chest, I went to Mozzie, releasing him and unbound his mouth. "Good boy, baby. You're such a good boy." I told him.

"Who are you?" One of them asked.

I stood and looked down at him, watching as he coughed up blood. "Thanks to you, I am your own personal nightmare."

"We didn't kill you." He cried.

Frowning, I stepped toward him, "No, you simply left us defenseless in hopes that the dead would take us. Well, you got one of us. My boyfriend is dead."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." I shot at him. "But you will be." Shooting him in his groin, he started to scream bloody murder. "That's better." I smiled at him. "Like you said. This world is all about taking. Kill or be killed. Well, now you're on the other side of that. How does that make you feel?" His screams nearly drowned out my words. "I'd watch it, buddy. All that noise is gonna bring walkers right down on top of you. They are going to eat you while you're still alive." As if on cue, there was growling from the woods. "Speak of the devil." I said and swiftly started to gather everything up. Putting it all in my bag, I put it over my head, letting it rest against my lower back. "Come on, Moz." I told him and slipped into the woods.

Bypassing the dead, we could hear the screaming as we moved away from them. For a few glorious minutes I felt like I had avenged Sean. I had made the ones responsible pay with their lives. A life for a life. But then that faded and I fell to my knees, vomiting the bile that was in my stomach. Then the tears started yet again and I just felt disgusted with myself. Five people. I'd just killed five people. I'd never killed anyone before and I did it with a smile. I _enjoyed_ killing them. What kind of person does that? Who was I becoming?

At the same time, that was what this world was doing to us all. Turning us into murderers and thieves. We did what we had to do to survive and killing was going to be a part of that. I understood that. At the same time, Sean's voice was in my head: Don't let this world destroy you. Killing would destroy me. He knew that his death would make me hard but had he foreseen this? What kind of monster was I?

Either way, I kept moving. I had survived. I would survive. I'd do it for him. And I wasn't alone. He wanted me to find people but people were the enemy. I had Mozzie. I wasn't alone. And I loved that dog and him me. I was loved. I wasn't alone. For all intents and purposes as long as I lived I'd fulfilled my promise. I loved Sean. I didn't think I'd ever feel anything like that again. Not in a world like this. Everything was fucked up and I was prepared to do what I had to do. As horrible as it was, I knew I would kill again. I knew that I would defend myself at the expense of another's life. I just couldn't see it any other way.

Death was a way of life.

Death was what I would become.

Death was what I was.


	34. Just Keep Moving

**Chapter Thirty-four: Just Keep Moving**

Squatting down, I put my elbow on my knee, resting my cheek against it as I poked and prodded the dead frog with a stick. They'd been dead long enough to make them inedible; as well as to let me know that there was no water here. Just to make sure, I'd already dug a few holes, looking up as Sasha appeared from around the bend. She looked at all the frogs, attempting to bury one by kicking dirt over it. She looked at me and I shrugged, getting a sigh in return before she moved toward me. Standing up, I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her against my side.

"We'll find some." I told her gently.

Hearing rustling, we looked up to see Maggie and Daryl standing on top of the bank. We shook our heads at them and they turned away with disappointment. Sighing, I tried not to be discouraged. Water was out there. We just had to hold out until we found it. We would find it.

Attempting to climb the bank, Sasha made it just fine, only I used a root that snapped and I was sent slamming down onto my back. To make it worse, there was an audible crunching sound, feeling liquid soaking into my shirt.

"Great." I said. "Just bloody fantastic."

"Linny?" Sasha said looking down at me. "You okay?"

"Oh yeah. I'm great." I told her finally rolling onto my feet.

"That's disgusting." Sasha said before actual laughter broke from her.

Trying to look at the damage, I reached behind me and I could feel a foot. Groaning, I peeled the frog from my back, holding it in front of me. "It's a fucking pancake."

She laughed harder before quickly sobering, "Come on, goofball."

Sighing, I managed to succeed the second time, taking her hand as she helped me the final few feet. Rejoining Maggie and Daryl, we made our way back to the road and to where we had planned on meeting up with everyone else. We'd split up in hopes of finding water. So far, we'd come up empty. I just kept my fingers crossed that the others had been luckier than us.

Staying close to Maggie's side, I bumped her every once in a while, until she finally sighed so loud that you couldn't mistake her intention. "I'm not going to break." She told me. "You can stop watching me."

"I know what grief does to people, Maggie. I've been there just as many times as you have. More even." I told her. "I know how not okay you are. So, do me a favor and stop pretending that you're coping with this. Both you and Sasha." I was starting to raise my voice, sounding angry. "You both think that you're coping with your loss but you're not. I'm hardly coping and they weren't my blood. They were yours. Both of yours. God damn it!" I yelled and moved away from them, putting as much distance between me and them that I was comfortable with.

"Hey." Daryl said coming up from behind me.

"No." I shot at him. "I don't want any comforting or words of wisdom. I just want people to deal with shit. They are going to get themselves killed if they don't."

In the next moment I was spun, coming face to face with Maggie. "This has nothing to do with you, Caroline. It was my sister. Her brother. My father. Her boyfriend. Everyone deals with grief their own way. You can't expect people to be as strong as you are all the time."

"I don't." I told her calmly. "I'm not any stronger than you are."

"You are." She said. "And I'm sorry but I lost everything."

"No, you haven't." I retorted. "You have Glenn. You have me. You have us. We're family."

"I know." She said softly.

I nodded at her, "Good."

She smiled before wrapping her arms around me, "I love you, Linny."

"I love you, too." I told her. "So much, Maggie. And I care so much about you and Sasha and everyone. I hate seeing you hurting."

"I know." She said letting me go. "But you gotta let us work through it in our own time. In our own way."

I nodded, feeling tears, "I know."

"Okay." She said gently. "Come on."

Keeping my arm around her, I rested my head against hers as we walked, letting silence fall between us. When I finally let her go, feeling like any distance was too much, it took only a second for Daryl to appear at my side.

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I didn't mean to…" I started but stopped.

"I know." He said.

"All that goes for you too, Daryl." I told him sadly. "You need to feel it and work through it."

"Is that why you came with us?" He asked. "The three damaged ones?" Now he was starting to sound angry. As least it was better than the indifference he had been showing. "We don't need you to fix us."

"You need someone, Daryl." I told him softly. "If you won't let that be Carol, then you need to let that be me. I'll always be here for you."

"I know." He told me.

"Good."

Walking in silence, for a while I took his hand, much to his displeasure. He was strong. So much stronger than me but even he needed help sometimes. He couldn't do this alone. None of us could. He deserved someone to survive this world with. Sasha did. Maggie had Glenn. But Daryl and Sasha had that within reach and it had been torn away from them. It wasn't fair. I knew that life wasn't fair but I still felt like it ought to be a little fairer in the grand scheme of things.

I finally felt like I had a partner in this world. Rick was my partner in every way. I counted on him like he counted on me. We were in this together. We were still our own people, letting each other make our own decisions, but at the end of the day we were together in everything. That was what mattered most to me.

"Oh, shit." Maggie said as we approached the others. They were all sitting down, some back to back, all looking defeated. We were tired, hungry, and thirsty. "It's been a day and a half. They didn't find any either."

"How do you know?" Sasha asked.

"I know." Maggie told her.

I couldn't argue with that. It was obvious. Luck hadn't been on any of our sides.

"Hope's not lost yet." I smiled up at Daryl. He just nodded at me.

"How much longer we got?" Maggie asked Sasha.

"60 miles." Sasha replied.

Maggie paused before stated, "I wasn't talking about that."

Looking over my shoulder at her, both of them looked like if they fell down they'd never get up again. Feeling a little desperate to get back to everyone, I picked up my pace. Rick turned toward me, moving to meet as I collided with him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

"I like you with me." He told me softly.

"I was trying to help." I replied.

He nodded, running his fingers down the side of my face, "I know."

Loading into the cars, we started down the road again. Everyone was quiet. Not a lot to say when everyone was feeling about as low as we ever have. Even when I was dying we still had water and food. Even in the woods with Ray we had managed to find water and food. Why couldn't we find any now? And when the hell was it going to rain?

"We're out, just like the other one." Abraham announced as the truck came to a stop.

"So we walk." Rick said as he got out.

Getting out, I took Judith, putting her on my hip as we started down the road. Everyone else followed suit, making our way down the road. The sun was hot, the air dry, and we were walking with very little water to keep us going. Looking behind us, everyone was quiet and they all looked defeated. Looking at Maggie it was like she wasn't even here anymore. I just wanted to help but there was no help for her. Or for Sasha. Grief had its hold on them. Looking at Glenn he was watching her with worry. To make the situation even worse, there were walkers following us. They were several yards behind us but they were still there. An ever present danger just looming over us.

"We're not at our strongest." Rick stated as we watched them. "We'll get 'em when it's best. High ground, something like that. They're not going anywhere." Daryl just nodded. "It's been three weeks since Atlanta. I know you lost something back there.

Daryl touched Judith's foot, "She's hungry."

Rick took her from me, smiling at her, "She's okay. She's going to be okay."

"We need to find water, food." Daryl stated.

Rick nodded, "We'll hit something in the road. It's gonna rain sooner or later."

"I will dance in the rain when it happens." I smiled tilting my head back. Rick smiled and wrapped his arm around me. "Will you dance with me?" I asked him.

He looked behind us before kissing me, "I just might."

"One more." I smiled. He smirked and kissed me again. "That's better."

"I'm gonna head out." Daryl said softly but I could hear the sadness in his voice. "See what I can find."

"Hey, don't be too long." Rick told him, getting a nod.

"I'll go with you." Carol said moving after him.

"I got it." He told her.

She just smiled at him, "You gonna stop me?"

"Be careful." I called to them as they disappeared into the woods. We kept walking and I couldn't help but think of him, looking behind us at Maggie and Sasha. "They're not okay." I told Rick. "We're broken, Rick. What are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna keep going." He told me. "We're not going to give up."

Smiling, I reached my hand up, gently running my fingers through his hair before gripping his beard, "You need a good trim."

He grinned, rubbing his beard, "Yeah. Who knows the next time I'll get that."

"You're starting to look like a mountain man." I teased and laughed.

"Fitting for out here then." He smiled back.

We talked on and off as we walked, wanting a distraction from the heat and yet it was hard to ignore as it beat down on us. Playing with Judith a little, getting her to laugh, Rick and I passed her back and forth as we walked. She went to whoever she decided in that moment and sometimes it was thirty-seconds apart. She would giggle and the game would continue. But the sound of her laughter was ten times better than anything else that was going on. At one point, I'd just passed her to her father when I tripped and went down, getting laughter from both her and Rick. She shrieked as I pulled myself back onto my feet, gabbing her belly, and making her throw herself against Rick's chest. Then she was reaching for me again, bouncing against me with a big grin on her face. We shouldn't have been making so much noise but I couldn't help it. She was happy. She was the only one of us who was truly happy. She was too young to be jaded by the world and she would be raised in this world, happy with it because it was all she would know. She was everything we needed to preserve.

"Now you're tired, aren't you?" I said softly to Judith as she draped herself over my shoulder. Looking at Rick, he looked over his shoulder, a serious expression crossing his face. Doing the same, I sighed and looked up at him. "Is it time?"

He nodded, "They're getting closer."

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

He looked around, looking ahead, there was a bridge coming up. He nodded, still thinking as he looked at everything. Then he looked at me, "All we have to do it push them down. Any hill on either side of that bridge will keep them busy for a while."

Nodding, I looked behind us, "Anything simple would be good for us right now."

"Yeah." He said looking back as well. When we reached the bridge, he looked on both sides before he turned to the group. "Line both sides on either end. It's time we deal with the walkers. Don't waste energy by killing them. Just redirect them down the bank."

Splitting up, I gave Judith to her brother, telling him to keep her safe. As the walkers got closer, we didn't use any more energy than we had to. We didn't have to touch them, but simply shift to the side as they lurched, their own body weight sending them down the banks. It was almost a little fun. It was different then charging forward and making noise and causing a frenzy. It was quiet and manageable. Smiling at Rick, he nodded at him.

Before we could fully take care of them, there was noise and I turned to see Sasha charging them, killing them as she moved into a group of them. They all turned toward her – toward us – as she made noise and continued to stab them, slicing them without caring. Abraham went to stop her and she spun, her knife catching his arm.

"Sasha." I said and wanted to move forward but there were too many walkers in front of me.

It wasn't just her she was risking; Michonne had been right next to her. She's angry. We knew she was angry but now she was losing it. She wasn't caring about herself or anyone else. All she wanted to do was kill them. I understood revenge. I'd been there. But this was too much. It wasn't just her. It was all of us.

When we got them under control, I turned again to see Michonne having knocked her to the ground. "I told you to stop."

"Michonne." I said rushing to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She replied and turned away from Sasha.

She got to her feet, looking at me angrily before starting to walk again. "What the hell was that?" I asked as I followed her.

"Nothing." She replied.

"Bullshit. You could have gotten us all killed. What were you thinking?"

She spun so fast that I nearly ran into her. "It's none of your business. I wish you'd stop trying to make it your business."

"You know all I want to do is help." I told her sadly.

In the next second I was hit, going to the ground. There were people yelling and I looked up at her as she stood over me.

"Well, stop." She said and walked away.

"Well, that was fun." Abraham said as he hooked me under my arms and hoisted me to my feet. I nodded at him. "You good?"

I touched my face, tasting blood where my teeth had cut the inside of my cheek. "I'm good."

"Linny." Rick said rushing up to me.

"I'm fine." I told him.

"Mom." Carl said.

"I'm good." I said raising my hands. "I'm all good. Let's just go."

No one said anything as we kept walking. When I got sick of swallowing it, I started to spit the blood from my mouth. It was bleeding more than I thought it would. Only now it kept pooling on that side. Daryl and Carol came back but they didn't have anything and didn't say anything. They simply joined in and we simply kept walking.

My feet hurt. My face hurt. And I hated to admit it but so were my feelings a little. All I wanted to do was help and I knew that it wasn't always appreciated but at the same time if we didn't push they'd just get farther and farther away. I just…I wanted them to know that they weren't alone. None of us were. We were family and we couldn't survive without each other. Only now I was pretty sure backing off of everyone might be a good idea.

"Dad, look." Carl said as we came across a group of cars in the road.

"Maybe they'll have water or something we can use." I said to him, getting a smile and a nod.

"I'm gonna head into the woods, circle back." Daryl told us.

"May I come with?" Carol asked.

"No." He replied. "No, just me."

He went into the woods and I looked at Rick, "I'm gonna follow him."

"Caroline." He said with concern.

I shook my head at him, "I need a break, Rick. I want to just step away for a few minutes. I can do that with him. I won't be alone."

He nodded, "Be careful."

Kissing him quickly, I turned and moved to the woods, touching Carol's arm as I passed her by. He was struggling and I was sure he'd think I was going to give some speech to make him feel better but I honestly just wanted his silence. Silence in the woods was different than the silence with everyone else. It was lighter out here. I didn't think he should be alone but I didn't want to interfere either. I was capable of taking a step back. Sort of…

"What are you doin'?" He asked when I'd caught up.

"I'm keeping you company." I replied.

"I don't need any."

Sighing, I shook my head, "I don't want to talk, Daryl. I literally just want to accompany you. I needed a break."

"If you minded your own business you wouldn't need one. You wouldn't have been hit neither." He told me coldly.

"Being an asshole isn't going to get rid of me." I shot back at him. "So knock it the fuck off."

He just looked at me but didn't say anything. I followed in his footsteps, going with him wherever he went. But I'd kept my word. I didn't say anything. I made no effort to make him open up and let his feelings out. All I wanted was an escape from the group. We'd been together for a long time and with limited food and water, emotions were getting high and pretty soon they were bound to spill over. I was starting to feel like a lot of it was going to be onto me. I could handle it. At least I thought I could. But being with them had made me a little soft. I wasn't as hard as I used to be. I gave more chances than I'd ever had. I wanted humanity to survive. I wanted to be who I used to be. Before the world ended before…before I was too jaded to care anymore.

"Hold up." He told me.

"What is it?" I asked.

He moved forward before looking at me. Stepping next to him, I took in a deer with its back eaten out. You could clearly see the spine. It was gross and yet I was intrigued. Kneeling next to it, I touched the bones, taking in the carcass from head to toe.

"Fascinating." I said softly.

"You're weird." He told me but when I looked up at him he was smirking.

"I know." I replied standing up again. "It's part of my charm."

Then we saw the walker that was dead against the trunk of a tree. He looked at me before motioning me forward. Following him, we maneuvered our way through, circling back like he had said he was, but we didn't find anything. We needed rain. Why the hell couldn't it just rain already?

"How did you make it this long?" Daryl asked as I got back up from tripping for the zillionth time.

"I do okay when we're running from something. It's when nothing's around that my clumsiness takes hold." I told him, wiping off my pants. He didn't say anything, making me look up at him. He was smiling at me. "What?"

He pulled me into him, hugging me tightly, "Nothin'."

Hugging him just as tightly, I took his head in my hands, pressing a kiss against his forehead, "I love you, Daryl."

"Love you, too." He said as he buried his face in my neck. "Let's get back."

"Should we make a bet on how many times I trip on the way back?" I asked and laughed, getting smacked by a tree.

"Yeah, I'll make a bet." He smirked.

Laughing, we were quiet as we walked back, but I felt better. He was good for that. He was the best person to just be silent with. Making it back up to the road, the others were sitting in the road resting. Rick looked at us, shaking his head. Daryl shook his back and I simply smiled at him. I almost didn't mind being apart from him because he always looked so good when I saw him again. Joining him, I sat next to him, putting my hand against his face.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Hey." He smiled back. "You okay?"

I nodded, "I am. Are you?"

He sighed and pressed his forehead to mine, "Yeah."

"I almost believe you." I smiled.

"I'm sure you can think of something to make it better." He said softly.

I brought my lips to his, "I'm sure I can."

Kissing him deeply, I leaned into him. He leaned away, brushing my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Much better."

"So all we found was booze?" Tara piped up, making me look at her.

I sighed as I watched Abraham take a long drink off of the liquor he had found.

"Yeah." Rosita replied.

"It's not gonna help." Tara replied.

Rosita didn't even look at him, "He knows that."

"She's always sticking up for him." I told Rick softly.

"Wouldn't you if he were me?" He asked.

I met his eyes, kissing him again. "Yeah, I would."

"It's gonna make it worse." Tara went on.

"Yes, it is."

Then Eugene piped up, "He's a grown man. And I truly do not know if things can get worse."

Rosita looked at him, "They can."

As if on cue there was rustling and growling as four dogs came out of the woods. They started to bark and growl, baring their teeth as they moved forward and back. Getting up, I moved forward, crouching as I held my hands up.

"Easy." I said softly to them. "It's okay. We won't hurt you." One growled and lurched toward me but I didn't move. "It's okay." I told them. "Good dogs." The shepherd stopped growling, reaching out to smell my hand. "That's it." I smiled. In the next second they had all been blown away, making me fall backward. An arm wrapped around my waist and I found myself against a chest. "What the hell is the matter with you?!" I yelled as I looked up at Sasha.

"They were a threat." She stated. "And we're hungry."

"Jesus, Sasha." I said pulling free of Daryl's arms and moving down the road.

It didn't take long for steps to follow, "Linny."

"What?" I asked Daryl.

"They were gonna attack." He stated.

I turned around to face him, "Maybe not all of them. Do you know how useful it is to have a dog on the team?"

"Caroline."

"I do." I stated. "They help with hunting and with finding water. Water, Daryl! They could have helped us find the one thing that we need most right now." I shot at him, shoving him halfheartedly. "They offer protection and warmth. They offer a lot more alive than they do dead." I went on, getting a nod from him. Looking back at the others they were starting to gut and skin the dogs. "You should help them." I told him, crossing my arms as I scuffed my shoe on the pavement, staring at it. "But I can't watch them do that. I can't be a part of it."

"Alright." He said and walked away.

I listened as they started fires and I knew that they were roasting those dogs. I was hungry. But I just wasn't hungry enough to eat dog. That wasn't me. That wasn't what I did. All I could think of was Mozzie and how a German Shepard was one of the dogs on those spits. I couldn't do it. It made my stomach turn.

Staying away from the group, I paced back and forth, wanting to be far enough away so I couldn't smell it. Images of the cabin flashed in my mind. Mozzie. Ben. Hannah. Burned flesh. My body twitching with their memories, fighting against them as the images and their voices danced in my mind. Shaking my head, I was starting to feel bile rise in my throat, making me look up at the darkening sky trying to swallow it down.

Glancing at the others, they were enjoying the food as if it were a five star restaurant. We hadn't eaten in a while and a full stomach would feel amazing, but all I could do was feel annoyed. Eugene was chewing with him mouth open and I couldn't help but glare at him. Then my eyes fell on a bloodied collar in the road. Shaking my head, I kept pacing, trying to ignore it all.

"Hey." Rick said walking up to me. "Here. You need to eat." He said holding out a piece of meat.

"No." I said shaking my head. "I can't, Rick."

He sighed, "You need to eat something."

"I know." I replied. "But I can't eat that."

"Caroline." He said with a hard tone.

"I save animals. I don't slaughter them. Not dogs. Not even in this world." I told him. "I'm just not wired that way."

"You need to eat. This is what we have." He stated. "Take the meat, Linny."

"No." I told him and walked into the woods.

"Linny." He called. "Caroline!"

The tears started and I found myself tripping over anything and everything, picking myself up every time. Moving over a large fallen tree, my foot got snagged and I found myself on my hands and knees, a stick jabbing me into my palm. Sighing, I sat on my heels, looking at it.

"Caroline." Maggie said appearing from nowhere. I hadn't even heard her coming. "You're hand."

"Is fine." I stated as I moved into a seated position.

"Caroline." She repeated as she sat next to me.

I looked at my hand before yanking the stick from my palm, watching blood pool in my palm, tipping it and watched it pour onto the ground. Maggie sighed heavily, making me look at her. Raising a brow, I ripped a piece of my shirt off and proceeded to tie it around my hand.

"Let me help you." She said softly.

"I got it." I replied and finished tightening it with my teeth.

There was a long moment of silence, my wrists draping over my bent knees, making me stare off into the distance. Memories were just flooding my mind and I couldn't shut them off. They just kept going on and on and on.

"I'm sorry." She told me. "I didn't mean to be cold to you earlier."

"Sure you did." I replied nonchalantly. "I'm known for overstepping and caring too much and trying to help when I should just leave well enough alone." I rambled.

She nudged me, "Just one of the many reasons we love you."

Scoffing, I shook my head, "Whatever, Maggie. I'm not really in the mood for a pick me up."

"I'm trying to apologize." She replied.

"And this isn't about you." I shot back at her, making her look at me sadly. I sighed and shook my head, rubbing my injured palm. "I'm sorry. And I'm incredibly sorry about Beth and my heart aches for Sasha but…this has nothing to do with you or her or them." I hated that I liked throwing her own words back at her. I got what she was trying to telling me. More in this moment than any other. She didn't say anything. "Just go back, Maggie. Alone seems a lot better right now." We both looked up as we heard a walker coming our way. She stood and moved toward it. "Leave it." I told her. She looked at me with frustration. "Just leave it, Maggie. Go back with the others."

She just turned back to it, killing it before sitting next to me again. "I'm not leaving you out here alone."

I couldn't stop the laughter from rolling out of me. "God, Maggie, I've been alone more of my life than I've been with anyone. I can handle being alone. It's being with people that makes everything foggy."

"Stop." She frowned at me. "What's going on?"

"You told me to mind my business." I replied. "Sasha, too. I'm just trying to do that."

"But that's not like you."

"I'm just like everyone else." I shot back at her. "Sometimes I need a minute."

She was quiet for a few agonizing minutes before she broke the silence that I longed to keep, "Why did killing the dogs bother you?"

"You know why."

"I don't." She replied. "Not really."

"You do." I shot at her. "If you don't remember than that's on you. But I told you how I started this world. I told you what I did and what I had. That's all the explanation you need."

"Tell me again." She said softly.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to talk about it!" I yelled at her. "You won't talk to me so why the hell should I talk to you?"

"That's not fair."

I laughed, breaking apart a small stick. "Life isn't fair, Maggie. You know that."

"This isn't you." She told me softly.

"You don't know everything about me, Maggie."

"What don't I know?" She asked.

"Nothing I'm willing to tell." I told her and stood. "Let's go."

"Care." She said as she followed me.

I didn't say anything, ducking under a branch. My cheeks felt hot and I wiped more tears from my cheeks, taking a deep breath to attempt to calm myself. Maggie wrapped her arm around me, making me shrug and move away from me.

"Caroline." She said with a hard tone and sat on a fallen tree.

"Let's go." I told her.

"I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me." She replied and crossed her arms.

Sighing, I turned toward her, "Now's not the time or the place. We should get back to the others." She just raised a brow at me. "Maggie." I said with annoyance. She didn't budge. Sighing loudly, I dropped onto the tree next to her. "What exactly do you want to hear, Maggie?"

"Tell me again."

"I started this world setting dogs free. I started this world with a dog as my companion. I lost him. He was as much a part of my family as any of you. I've lost, too, Maggie. I've lost everything. Just because I found something doesn't change that." I paused, feeling her eyes on me. "Seeing those dogs was just a reminder of what I lost. And knowing what you all did to them doesn't make it any easier." Pausing again, I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. It wasn't just Mozzie. It was… _him_. It was the one person that I kept more private than any part of my life. All that pain had been buried but every once in a while it would rise up and hurt all over again. "A lot of memories are going through my head right now."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are." I told her and stood. "Now, let's go." She nodded and stood. "Are we done talking about it now?" I asked with an air of coldness.

"Only if you'll drop the attitude." She replied with the same tone.

Stopping again, I looked at her, "My attitude is justified. Whether you think it or not." Tears were welling again as my past reared its ugly head. "What's going through my head right now, is justified. What's going through your head right now, is justified. Like you said, we're all going through things and we need to do it in our own time in our own way. What happened brought up my past. I just need a little while to bury it again." She just looked at me. "We're all grieving, Maggie. Every one of us. Your grief is the freshest because she meant the most to you. Sasha is next. Only…I'm grieving, too. I'll always be grieving."

She nodded, "Me, too."

"I know." I nodded back at her. "So, forgive my attitude. It happens every once in a while."

She started to cry and I couldn't help but cry with her. Soon we both were sobbing gripping each other as if we'd never see each other. It was depressing and yet it helped more than anything else had. I didn't like being angry but today had seemed unusually hard and I just needed a good cry. I missed my dog. I missed my family. I missed…

Pulling away from her, I wiped the tears away again, "I'm sorry."

"Me, too." She replied.

"We good?" I asked.

"Of course." She told me matter-of-factly. "We're family."

Feeling the tears well again, I hugged her again, "Thank you, Maggie."

"Thank you."

"I love you." I told her with a thick voice.

She replied with the same, "I love you."

Letting each other go, we both took a deep breath, smiling at each other before we kept moving. Coming out onto the road, there was barely enough light to see the others by. Walking back toward them, I didn't say anything as I sat against the base of a tree, leaning my head against it.

"Linny." Rick said as he sat next to me.

"I'm tired." I told him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

Looking up at him, my eyes met the penetrating blue of his and for a split second I wanted to tell him that I was thinking of a man that wasn't him. But I couldn't do that to him. Instead, I leaned closer to him, parting my lips before kissing him deeply. Then I rested my head against his chest and shut my eyes. He didn't say anything. He didn't question it. He simply held me close and I fell asleep to the sound of him breathing and to his heart beating.

I woke up to the sun shining through the trees. Opening my eyes, Judith was lying next to me, grinning and cooing as she kicked her feet. Beaming at her, I reached out and took her hand. She kicked harder, shrieking a little as she drooled. Laughing, I leaned forward, blowing a raspberry into her neck and made her shriek even louder. Then there was light laughter and Michonne stepped up to us. She squatted down and put her hand against my hip and her other against Judith back.

"How are you feeling?" She asked me as she smiled at the baby.

"Better." I smiled, rubbing Judith's hand with my thumb.

"Hungry?" Rick asked as he stepped up to us.

Frowning up at him, I got to my feet, picking Judith up with me. "Don't start."

"I'm just worried is all." He replied.

"Truth be told, I'm starving." I told him. "I just don't want to eat dog."

"I'm sorry." He told me. "I just don't know what's going on."

"What's going on is that I don't want to eat an animal that I've called family in the past. It feels a little like cannibalism." I attempted to explain.

He nodded, bringing his face closer to mine. "I'm sorry."

Smiling, I leaned in and kissed him deeply, whispering, "I love you."

He smiled and pulled me tightly against him, "I love you."

Then he was kissing me again. For the briefest of moments he let his walls down and continued to kiss me in front of everyone. Grinning at him, I brushed my nose against his as I gently rubbed his beard.

"Thank you." I whispered to him.

"I kind of have a thing for you." He smiled. Laughing lightly, I nodded as I pressed my face against his.

"Caroline." Daryl said making me look at him.

My eyes lit up and I wanted to kiss him as he held up a rabbit. "Daryl." I said as I rushed to him, throwing my arms around him. "Thank you."

"Showing me up." Rick smiled as he hugged him next.

Daryl gently shoved him, "Can't let her starve."

Rolling my eyes, I was already building a fire. Only it wasn't just me who ate. Everyone had breakfast, even if it was a meager one.

"Here." Abraham said handing me half of his rabbit portion.

"No." I told him. "Eat."

"Take it."

"Abe."

"Take it."

Smiling, I did as I was told, "Thank you."

"Here." Glenn said doing the same.

"I'm good, guys." I stated as Daryl did the same. "Men." I smirked at them.

"Deal with it." Daryl told me. "Now eat."

Devouring the food, I was happily full; the only thing missing was a decent amount of water to wash it down with. Daryl sat next to me, nudging me as he met my eyes. Smiling I put my hand against his face, leaning in and kissing his cheek.

"Thank you." I told him.

"Alright." Rick said to the group. "Let's get moving. We're getting close."

Standing up, I swiftly moved to his side, slipping my hand into his. "Wanna walk with me?" I smiled at him.

He wrapped his arm around me, "Always."

"Will you do me a favor?" I asked as I drew lines against his stomach.

He nodded, "Yeah."

I leaned into him, "Kiss me, baby." He smiled and gently gripped my chin, kissing me deeply. "I love you, Rick."

"I love you, Caroline." He smiled and kissed me again.

"You're getting better at the PDA's." I teased.

He looked around us and nobody was even looking at us, "Still…"

"Still nothing." I replied. "In a world like this, if I want to kiss you I will. Life is too short, baby. I love you. I'm not afraid to show it."

"I'm not afraid. I've just been more private in my personal life." He replied.

I shot him a look, "There is no privacy in this world. And the moment we find some, I plan on doing so many things to you." He laughed and I saw his cheeks turn red. "You're adorable." I told him and laughed.

"And I can hear everything." Carl said as he passed us by.

Laughing harder, I gripped Rick tight before taking his hand, ready to face the day. My melancholy was at bay for now, though I couldn't stop the memories from going through my head. All the people who had died…all the people I'd loved…feeling a little alone despite the hand that was still firmly in mine.

"Is there something you haven't told me?" Rick asked as we walked.

I laughed lightly, "There's a lot of things I haven't told you."

"Like what?" He asked.

"Rick." I said softly. "We've known each other for months but that still doesn't mean we know everything about each other."

"I don't hide anything." He told me.

"I don't hide much." I replied and laughed.

"Do you think I can't handle it?" He asked.

"I think you can handle anything." I told him honestly. "It's me who can't handle the telling."

"Something worse than Ben, Hannah, and Mozzie?" He asked. I looked away from him, trying to hide the emotion, going as far as letting go of his hand. "Linny?"

"Yeah, baby." I told him. "Yeah it is."

"When you're ready." He said wrapping his arm around me.

Looking up at him, I leaned against his side, "Thank you."

"I don't want to push you." He told me.

Smiling, I kissed him, "I appreciate that."

"I'm going to push." Maggie said coming up on my other side, a frown on her face. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm going to push to because that's what family does, Linny. We don't have secrets. We help each other through everything." She paused, speaking softly. "People die, Linny."

My head jerked toward her, "I know people die, Maggie. We all know it. It's still very fresh for all of us."

"We need to learn to let them go." She told me sadly.

Laughter started to roll out of me and you could feel the air get tense, "You of all people shouldn't be saying shit like that. Your family is gone. How are you doing at letting them go?"

"Caroline." Rick said from behind me.

"No." I shot at him. "If she wants to talk about death and letting people go then fine, let's talk about it." She started to cry again, silently, trying to hold it back. Sighing, I stepped closer to her. "I'm damaged, Maggie. You're damaged. We're all damaged and I want to rally. I want to let the dead go and just keep moving forward. It's hard. We all know it's hard and we have each other, we do, and that means the world to me. I have Rick and you and everyone. But sometimes I need to feel the pain of the past. It's a reminder of what I'm fighting for. What I'm looking for. Who I am striving to be. That pain is what grounds me. Sometimes it turns me into a bitch. Most of the time though…it helps me be a better person. You know that's what I want. I want to be better and I want you and everyone because no matter how many times I say I want to be alone or try to be alone I – I don't want to be alone."

"I know." She told me.

"So push me." I told her. "I'll let you. But don't expect me to back down because I won't. Some things are better left unsaid and some pains can't be verbalized. I feel it. It's there. Doesn't mean I want or have to share it. It's my pain and I'd like it to stay with me." I paused, sighing again. "People have secrets, Mags. They do. I do. I think they're needed even more now because people suck. Look at fucking Eugene who's lie brought them across the country where countless people died for a lie that he told. He's a horrible person and I kind of hate him." Then I had to stop. Knowing that I had officially come full circle. Sighing again, I smiled, "Damn, Maggie." She just smiled at me. "Fine. No secrets. Only I get one."

She wrapped her arm around me, "One."

"One."

Sticking with her, we didn't say anything else, we just walked.

And walked.

And walked.

And walked.

It was hot and we were all tired. I fell in and out of step with just about everyone in the group, feeling up and down, wanting to just stop but stopping meant death. I watched as the little water we had was passed between each other. Glenn fighting with Maggie to make her drink. I listened to her talk about Beth and how she never thought she was alive. She hoped she was alive and out there safe, but to come so close to her and then to have her die…it obliterated her. I understood that. She understood what she was feeling but the sadness of it all was so damn hard to shake.

Abraham tried to offer Sasha the bottle of booze but she shot him down. She was in worse shape than Maggie. I felt like I couldn't help anyone and that was all I wanted to do. Helping them helped me. If we were all drowning in grief then none of us were going to make it. If we let defeat take hold then we were not going to make it. We needed something – anything – to break out of the funk we were in. I'd settle for a little goddamn rain.

"Do you think if we all think about rain hard enough it might _actually_ rain?" I asked Sasha. She didn't say anything. "I do believe in the power of positive thinking. So if we all –"

"You never told me." She interrupted.

"What?" I frowned.

"You never told me what you promised him." She replied. "Bob." She clarified. "You were going to tell me but you never did."

Sighing, I attempted to put my arm around her but she shifted and shrugged out of my embrace. "You're gonna have to let me touch you if you want me to tell you." I stated. She looked at me with heavily furrowed brows. I just looked back. She sighed and nodded, letting me wrap my arm around her. "He loved you, Sasha. He loved you something fierce. And it was because he loved you that he was terrified to leave you." She looked at me sadly. "He knew what it would do and he couldn't stand the thought of you turning hard and never smiling or laughing again."

"You still haven't answered my question." She frowned.

"He asked that I don't let you go hard. That I make you smile and laugh every once in a while."

She nodded, cracking a smile, "He would want that."

"He would." I smiled. "And I think I could have done a really good job at making you smile."

"Could have?" She asked.

Sighing, I nodded, "My job just got a lot harder. After Tyreese and Beth and everything else? Laughing is probably not going to be high on anyone's list."

"You manage to laugh more than the rest of us." She stated.

"Yeah, I'm just a kid in a grownup body. I can't help myself. You should see me in a candy shop." I smirked at her.

She smiled, "You like candy?"

"No, not really." I said and laughed lightly. She shook her head and gently shoved me. "I'm more of a salty kind of person. Bring me to a place with popcorn and I'll be all over that."

"What flavor?"

"Cheese." I stated.

She laughed and nodded, "Yeah. That sounds good."

"You know what else sounds good?" I asked. She just looked at me. "Not smelling like a homeless person and having some goddamn toothpaste to get the fuzz off my teeth."

She laughed lightly, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled back, keeping my arm around her.

I knew it wouldn't last but it was something. One baby step at a time. One distraction at a time. Since it was time that would heal all wounds. I tried to think of some saying that I used to know. About time healing all things but I was still waiting…something like that. I didn't think we'd ever truly be healed. We'd just learn to live with the pain.

Walking in silence, I watched as Daryl moved into the woods. Swiftly moving after him, I touched Glenn's arm as I passed him, only before I could make it past the tree line, my arm was grabbed.

"He wants to be alone." Carol told me.

"I know he does." I replied. "But we're family. We don't do things alone. Not anymore."

She smiled and let me go, "Take care of him."

"You do it best but I'm an okay substitute." I smirked at her before disappearing after him.

He disappeared quicker than I thought he would, not catching up to him for several minutes. As soon as I spotted him, I hung back, just walking with him, letting him have his space. I knew that he was aware that I was here. I knew that he was probably not happy about it. But I didn't care. He shouldn't be alone. No matter how much he wanted to be.

"Why are you here, Linny?" He asked me.

Closing the distance between us, I gently nudged him, "I don't want you to be alone right now."

"Or ever." He stated.

Sighing, I looked up at him with annoyance, "I am well aware that you can take care of yourself and anything that gets thrown at you. That's not the point, Daryl. The point is that people died and they meant something to you – to us – and all you want to do is try and run away. You need to face it, Daryl. Just like the rest of us."

"What's your secret?" He responded.

"What?" I frowned.

"I heard you and Maggie." He stated. "You're hiding somethin'."

"I am but that has nothing to do with what's going on now." I retorted.

"It does if it's affecting you now."

"Daryl, it's the past." I frowned at him. "It was a long time ago."

"But it still means something, Linny." He stated. "If the past didn't mean anything then why would it matter if Merle died or Ben or any of us? If it doesn't matter then that would mean that they didn't matter."

"They matter, okay?!" I yelled at him. "Jesus, Daryl. They matter but we also can't let their deaths control us. I'm allowed to have a weak moment or two just like the rest of us. We're all weak right now."

"Just go back, Linny." He told me.

"No." I stated. "You can tell me whatever you want to, Daryl. I'm not leaving you."

He didn't say anything. It was annoying. If he was trying to piss me off it was working. But I still wasn't going to leave him. He was having just as hard a time as the rest of us were. He was just better at hiding it, making it seem like he was put together. He wasn't. He was going to break and I didn't want him to be alone when that happened.

Coming out of the trees on a dirt road, I stayed a few paces behind him, not feeling much like being right next to him. Looking at my feet, I was picking at a stick, trying not to dwell on everything that had happened. Then I ran into him and he swiftly took my hand. Looking up at him, he was looking ahead. Following his line of sight, I saw a cabin just down the way. He walked toward it, stopping before sitting at the base of a tree. He held my hand the whole way and I followed suit.

Letting my hand go, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I sighed and frowned at him but he just raised a brow before lighting one up and starting to smoke it. He took a few drags and I could tell that the feelings inside of him were building. He took one last drag before he started to put it out on his hand. Taking it from him, I put it out in the dirt next to me. Looking up at him, he swiftly pressed his forehead to mine. Then the sobs started to come from him. Pulling him against my chest, I held tight to him as he cried. I didn't attempt to quiet him or comfort him. He needed to let it out and I'd hold him until he was ready for me to let him go.

"Thank you." He told me as we headed back.

"You're welcome." I replied, taking his hand. "I'd do anything for you, Daryl. You're my best friend. So don't try and push me away. Don't think that you need to do anything alone. You're not alone."

He smiled, "It's kinda funny to hear you say that."

"Yeah, well, Maggie set me straight. She keeps setting me straight." I replied.

"What about Rick? Doesn't he?"

Smiling, I felt a slight blush, "Yes, Rick sets me straight, too. But he lets me just be me. Maggie doesn't."

"That's family for ya." He replied, squeezing my hand.

"I'm happy that we're family." I told him. "Even if I don't seem like it sometimes."

"Me, too."

When we got back to the others, we stepped onto the road to see everyone in a circle. Rick turned and looked at us, swiftly stepping up and holding out a piece of paper. We both read it: From a Friend. Daryl immediately pulled out his bow and started to move around the group. I reached for my gun but Rick stopped me.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Someone left water for us." He replied and we moved back to the group.

"You okay?" Maggie asked.

I nodded, "I'm fine." Daryl appeared at my side and looked at me. "Any thoughts?" Rick shook his head. Taking his hand, I put mine against his arm. "Do we trust it?"

"Of course not." He smirked at me.

"What else are we gonna do?" Tara asked.

"Not this." Rick replied. "We don't know who left it."

"If that's a trap, we already happen to be in it." Eugene stated. "But I, for one, would like to think it is indeed from a friend."

Counting them out, there were four jugs and ten water bottles. We needed water and here it was staring us in the face. "Rick." I said looking up at him.

"No, Linny." He replied.

"What if it isn't?" Carol added. "They put something in it?"

Eugene stepped forward and grabbed a water bottle.

"Eugene." Rosita said as if scolding a child.

"What are you doing, dude?" Tara asked.

"Quality assurance." He replied and opened the bottle. Before he could take a drink, Abraham slapped it out of his hands without saying a word.

"We can't." Rick told him.

"We need water, Rick." I stated softly.

"I know, baby, but we can't trust this and you know it."

Meeting his eyes, I nodded, "I do. I'm just thirsty. More so now that it's within reach but the risk is too high."

He put his hand against my face, lowering his to look me in the eye, "We're going to be fine, Caroline. We've been through worse."

Putting my hand over his, I nodded at him. He smiled and kissed me quickly. As if by some miracle, thunder rumbled and we felt the first drops of rain. Then it got harder, pouring down on top of us. You could feel the relief flowing off of everyone as we tilted our heads back and opened our mouths to the sky. Nothing had tasted sweeter. Only then Rick had me in his arms, kissing me properly. Laughing, I gently tugged on his beard as he leaned away, kissing him again.

"I love you." He told me.

"I love you, Rick." I replied and kissed him again. "Dance with me."

"Right now?" He asked, his brows slightly furrowing.

I put my mouth to his ear, gently biting his lobe as I ran my tongue along it, "Dance with me, baby."

He took my hand as he put his arm around my waist, holding me tightly against him as we started to move. Everyone else fell away and it was just me and him, dancing in the rain. We were soaked and it felt amazing. But the moment didn't last long enough. He needed to see that our empty bottles were being filled and that everyone was taken care of. He was the leader and even in this world that meant those closest to them felt slightly neglected.

"I've got you." Carl said and wrapped his arm around my waist.

Laughing, I put my arm around him, "Why thank you, kind sir."

Our moment was cut short again as the thunder and lightning intensified, making me jump and grip him tighter. Looking at the others, Carl went to Judith, holding his hat over her as we scrambled to get water.

"Let's keep moving." Rick stated.

I looked at Daryl and he nodded, "There's a barn!"

"Where?"

Grabbing everything we could, Daryl lead us back to it, the men going in to check it out. No place was safe and we had to assume that somebody or some _thing_ was inside of it. Staying with Carl and Judith, Maggie slipped inside and it didn't take long for the sound of a walker to be heard, only it silenced just as quickly.

Rick whistled and we all filed in, taking in the spacious place. Everyone seemed to disperse to their own little corner of the barn. Our family huddled together in front of a small fire. All of us but Maggie. She was lying apart from us, still weighted down by grief. Sasha and Abraham seemed to be segregating themselves as well.

"I'll try." Glenn said as he moved toward the fire. We had tried to make it bigger but the wood was too wet to make it any bigger.

"No, too wet." Rick stated.

"It'll do." I stated as I ran my fingers through Carl's hair. It didn't take long for him to lie down and fall asleep with Judith.

"He's gonna be okay. He bounces back more than any of us do." Carol stated as both Rick and I watched him.

"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this." Rick replied. "But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them."

"This isn't the world. This isn't it." Michonne stated.

"It might be." Glenn stated, getting a look from her. "It might."

"That's giving up."

"It's reality." I shot at her, getting a smile from Glenn. "Eugene lied. This may be exactly what the world is now. We need to accept that or surviving is just going to get harder."

"Hey." Rick said putting his hand on my thigh.

"Sorry." I told him.

"Don't be." He replied. "Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with." He added and paused. I wrapped my hand around his, smiling at him. "When I was a kid…I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so…I asked him if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself "Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war." And then after a few years of pretending he was dead…he made it out alive." He paused again. "That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves…that we are the walking dead."

Smiling, I let his hand go, gently running my fingers through his hair.

"We ain't them." Daryl stated. He got up and put more wood on the fire.

Rick looked at him, "We're not them. Hey. We're not."

Daryl stood up, "We ain't them."

Sighing, I watched him grab his bow and walk away. Looking at Carol, she smiled and shrugged. I nodded, taking Rick's hand again, wanting the comfort of just touching him. Trailing my fingers up and down his arm, I pressed a kiss against his shoulder. I shut my eyes as he pressed his lips to my forehead.

We all settled down for the night. I laid down next to Carl with Rick next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and I couldn't help but feel safe and warm. Despite the storm that was ragging around us, I fell asleep quickly, and more content then I thought I would. We got something to drink. We'd gotten to eat. We had shelter. That was about as much as we could ask for right now.

I woke to a blast of thunder, opening my eyes to see intense lightning illuminating the barn. Hearing something, I sat up, seeing Daryl, Maggie, and Sasha attempting to hold the door shut. Shaking Rick, he woke up, getting up as I moved over him, rushing to the door. Slamming my hands against it, the dead were pushing back with such force that I put my shoulder into it. Rick was at my side a second later, then other hands as everyone came together to keep the dead out of the barn. Our feet kept sliding against the mud as the dead kept pushing against us. Carl was with us as well and for a moment I panicked as I thought of Judith. But I couldn't move right now, fingers reaching through the crack in the door. The wind was howling and rain was spraying through. Meeting Rick's eyes, he nodded at me, covering my hand with his. Nodding back, I took a deep breath, still pushing as hard as I could.


	35. New Comers

**Chapter Thirty-five: New Comers**

Come morning, the storm had passed and the barn was still quiet. Everyone had finally fallen asleep. Sleep that was well earned after the night's events. Having fallen asleep pressed against Rick's back, Carl was against mine, and Judith was safely nestled in her father's arms. Wrapping my arm around him, I felt a little hand take mine, and I couldn't help by smile, pressing a kiss between Rick's shoulder blades. Needing to move, I slowly and carefully removed myself from the Grimes sandwich I had been in.

Seeing Daryl sitting against the back wall, I slowly made my way over, sitting next to him. Taking his hand, I held it as I rested my head against his shoulder, letting out a heavy sigh. He made a soft noise before resting his head against mine. Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Hearing steps, I opened my eyes to see Maggie, smiling as she sat on his other side.

"You should get some sleep." She told him.

"Yeah."

"It's okay to rest now."

I couldn't help but feel emotion start to fill me, all of us looking to where Sasha was sleeping against the wall.

"He was tough." Daryl stated.

"He was." Maggie stated.

"So was she. She didn't know it, but she was."

Maggie smiled and nodded as I kept my head against his shoulder. He shifted and picked up the music box, handing it over to her. Carl had given it to her. I didn't know why but it was a nice gesture. Especially given the recent events.

"The gearbox had some grit in it." He told her.

Maggie smiled up at him, "Thank you."

She got up and went to Sasha, waking her up. We watched them slip from the barn, the door being shut behind them. Sighing, I hugged Daryl's arm tighter, leaning into him. He pressed a kiss against my forehead, resting his head against mine.

"We're gonna be okay, right?" I asked him.

"We are, Linny." He replied. "We are."

Looking at Rick, I suddenly felt the need to be near him. Smiling at Daryl, I leaned up and pressed a kiss against his cheek. He nodded, pressing one more kiss against my forehead. Putting my hand against his face, I just smiled at him before I stood and moved back to where I had been; once again putting myself between the most important people in my life. Propping myself up, I wrapped my arm around Rick. Leaning down, I pressed my face into his hair, then his neck before I pressed my lips against his cheek.

"I love you." I whispered to him, running my hand down his arm. I felt him smile as his cheek moved against my lips. Grinning, I hugged him tighter, "It's true, you know. I love everything about you. Even your beard that is trying to take over your face." I said and laughed, hearing him laugh as well.

He took my hand and kissed my palm, "I love you."

"And your hair that it threatening to be longer than mine." I added.

He laughed harder, rolling so he could look at me, "That's not dramatic at all."

"I'm never dramatic." I said and laughed.

Laughing, his lips met mine and all words left my mouth, wanting to never part from him. If we moved right now then the reality of our world would sink in and we'd have to deal with the fact that we had nothing and were going somewhere that might not make a damn bit of difference.

"Caroline." Michonne said from behind me.

Groaning, I kissed him once more before looking up at my friend. "Yeah?" She just looked at me. Sighing, I looked back at Rick, telling him softly, "Sleep a little longer, baby."

"We should get ready to move." He replied.

Kissing him slowly, I smiled down at him, "All we have is time. Sleep, baby. You need it."

"So do you."

"And I slept great." I said and rubbed his beard, putting my lips next to his ear. "Just being near you makes everything better."

"Where did you come from?" He asked me.

Laughing, I stared down at him, "I don't know. Space, probably."

He laughed and put his hand against my face, "Probably."

"I should probably go. I can feel Michonne's eyes burrowing into the back of my head." I told him.

"Go, baby." He smiled. Leaning down, I kissed him once more. "Be safe."

Pushing myself up, I turned to Michonne, swiftly leaving the barn. As soon as we were out, the shock of what had happened last night set in. The trees were uprooted and thrown around. Walkers stuck in the wreckage.

"Holy shit." I said as I took it all in.

"This should have killed us." Michonne stated as she did the same.

"But we're alive." I smiled at her. "And we're together."

She smiled, "Always."

"If I was gay I'd totally be in love with you." I told her, laughing as I nudged her.

"Same." She laughed before wrapping her arm around me.

Following her, I didn't know what we were doing, but I followed her. I would always follow her. "What are we doing?"

"We haven't been alone together for quite a while." She told me. "We haven't talked in a while."

I nodded, "Things have definitely been more exciting as of late."

"Can I ask you what you're hiding?" She asked.

"You can but I'm not going to tell you." I smiled at her.

"Linny." She said softly.

"No, Michonne. I love you and respect you and think of you as my sister but I've divulged all the information I'm willing to give. You know me better than anyone, better than Rick, better than Maggie, better than anyone. Can't that be enough?" I asked her.

"It is enough." She replied. "It just seemed like maybe you did want to talk about it."

Laughing, I shook my head, "No."

"Okay." She smiled.

"How are you?" I asked her. "I know it's kind of a given but…"

"I've been good." She smiled. "Despite where we are and what's going on. I've been good."

"You look amazing." I smiled at her. "You must be working out a lot."

"Once or twice a week." She smiled.

"It's really paying off."

She laughed and nudged me, "And how are you?"

"I…" I started but paused. "I am amazing." I finally told her. "I might fall down from time to time but I am happy. I have an amazing guy, amazing pseudo kids, and an amazing family that I cannot live without. So, I am a happy person right now."

"You seem happy." She replied.

"I am. Rick…he's kind of everything."

"I'm happy for you."

Smiling, I wrapped my arm around her again, "I am, too. Are you happy?"

"I am." She smiled. "Everyone I love is alive and safe."

I nodded, "Almost everyone."

She sighed, resting her head against mine, "Yeah. Almost."

Hearing a sound, I stopped, making her stop with me. Putting my finger to my lips, I moved forward, seeing a rabbit eating not far away. Pulling out my knife, I crouched, crab-walking till I had a clear shot. Looking at Michonne, I nodded and she made a soft noise, making the animal turn toward her. It was distracted so it didn't notice me pulling my arm back, letting the knife fly, hitting the animal in its head.

"You're good at that." She told me as I started to clean it.

"I've had a lot of practice."

"Daryl teach you?"

I looked at her and smiled, "No. I learned it at the beginning."

"From who?" She asked.

She was fishing. Sighing, I smiled, "From practicing."

She smiled, "You're good at teaching yourself things."

"I have to be. We have to be. It's the same for you and the sword." I replied. "Practice makes perfect. Not to mention that eating is still a necessity."

She grinned and nodded, "Sadly."

Going back to the barn, I started a small fire, cooking the rabbit before walking it around the group, letting everybody take a piece of it.

"Here." I told Rick, who was the last.

"Have you had any?" He asked as he took a piece, eating it happily.

"Of course." I smirked at him.

He smiled and stepped closer to me, "You're lying."

I shrugged a shoulder at him, smiling, "Maybe."

He sighed and rubbed my arms, "Eat, baby."

"Yes, baby." I replied and took a piece of it.

Turning back to the others, I called to all of them, telling them to come pick off of it. Everyone crowded and I found myself in a tight circle of family, everyone eating and laughing and talking as we enjoyed a meal. Who knew when we'd have another one? Thank God rabbits reproduced at such a rapid pace. All the animals would thrive in this new world. At least I hoped they would. If we wanted to survive they had to.

"Nice job." Daryl told me.

"I'm not half bad with a blade." I smirked at him, licking the grease from my fingers. Something that I would normally never do. I had a horrible dislike for animal fat. It was something that I had to get over if I wanted to survive. "Gotta keep up my skills."

"You never lost them."

"There was a stint there where I wasn't hunting as much." I replied.

"You've always been amazing." He stated.

I smiled at him, "You're a little biased."

"Also a little jealous." He replied. "Michonne said it was a head shot."

"You did just call me amazing." I smiled and laughed at him.

He just looked at me for a long moment. "You always have a smile on your face." I shrugged at him. "You have your moments but…"

"I can't help it." I told him. "Despite everything I can't find a reason not to smile. I like to smile. I like to make people smile. Life's too short, Daryl." He pulled me against his chest, hugging me tightly. "I love you, brother."

"Love you, Linny." He said and briefly buried his face in my neck, my hand moving to the back of his head before he leaned away from him. "Don't ever change."

"Never." I smirked at him, furrowing my brows. "I've tried."

Putting my hand against his face, I leaned up and pressed a kiss against his cheek. Going to Rick, I wrapped my arms around him from behind, pressing myself against his back, taking a deep breath of him. He put his hand against mine, turning his head to look over his shoulder. Pressing a kiss against his cheek, I started to help him gather everything. We basically had nothing. A few weapons but no real belongings. Not anymore. Maybe we'd find a home in Washington. Maybe we'd find more people. Maybe we could live a semi-normal life like we had at the prison. Maybe we could find walls and safety. Maybe…

Those damn maybes were back.

I was sick of maybes.

I didn't want to live off of maybes anymore.

Maybe I'd live.

Maybe I'd die.

"What is it?" Rick asked me.

I looked at him, "What?"

"Something is bothering you."

Smiling, I shook my head, "Just a bunch of maybes going through my head."

He nodded, "And?"

"And I don't want to live off of maybes. I want to be sure of things. I want to know things. I just…don't want maybe to become my life." I told him honestly. "Maybes aren't actions. We need action, not maybes."

He stopped and looked at me, "Something that you've thought a lot about?"

Smiling, I crossed my arms and faced him, "It wasn't long after the beginning that I spent every day going over all the maybes of my world. I hated it but that was life. Maybe I lived. Maybe I died. Maybe I found people. Maybe I learned to trust again. Maybe I would feel safe someday." Sighing, I shook my head. "Maybe one day the maybes would stop, and they did."

"When you met Ben?"

Smiling wider, I nodded, "Yeah. Ben made the maybes stop because I had answered my maybes. I was content with my world." My smile faltered. "Then my world was shattered but I didn't return to maybes. I simply prayed for death but couldn't bring myself to actually die."

"Linny." He said softly.

"Then I met Michonne. I met Daryl. I met you." I grinned. "God, I met you, Rick, and I felt connected to you. I mean, I hated you for a good long while, but you were still the one who helped me put the pieces back together. Everyone did but you broke through and hating you and then not hating you was…amazing." Pausing, I looked at him, seeing his expression. Grinning, I laughed lightly. "And I'm rambling."

"I like when you ramble." He smiled and kissed me. "I always learn something."

Grinning, I kissed him again, "Good. Because I'll never stop rambling."

"I don't want you to."

Gearing up, we were ready to move and yet okay with just taking our time. Sitting with Rick, Judith sitting in front of him, we talked and laughed, engaging with her as the rest of us did the same. Only our happy moment was interrupted as the barn door opened and Maggie came in looking uneasy.

"Maggie?" I said as I got to my feet, Sasha coming in behind her looking the same way. Then a man came in behind her. "What the hell?"

"Hey." Maggie said softly. "Everyone…this is Aaron."

Everyone was on their feet now, looking at him as if he were the plague. Daryl rushed out of the barn, making sure the coast was clear. You couldn't trust anyone these days and there was no telling what or who he had with him. Guns were cocked and everyone was instantly on edge.

"We met him outside. He's by himself." Maggie told us. "We took his weapons and we took his gear."

Daryl forcefully patted him down, as Tara closed the door, a concerned look on her face. Everyone was staring at Aaron, guns being aimed at him. We couldn't take any chances so no matter what move he made me would be ready for it.

"Hi." Aaron said nervously.

Judith started to cry and Rick looked at Carl who quickly took his sister from him. Putting my hand on Carl's shoulder, I took a step forward, making sure I was in front of them. Rick was right next to me, looking at Aaron like he was the enemy. But I didn't see an enemy. He looked kind. His voice was kind. He was dressed casually, not like someone who was on their own. He was clean and kempt. He didn't looked like the enemy. My instant reaction was almost to trust him. But I knew better.

"It's nice to meet you." He went on, taking a step forward as if to reach out his hand. Even more guns were cocked and they took a step toward him, making him stop.

"You said he had a weapon?" Rick said to Maggie. She handed him Aaron's gun. He checked it before putting it in the back of his pants. "There something you need?"

"He has a camp nearby." Sasha told him. "He wants us to audition for membership."

"Audition?" I frowned, now feeling a little uneasy.

"I wish there was another word." Aaron smirked. "Audition makes it sound like we're some kind of a dance troupe. That's only on Friday nights."

I frowned up at Rick before looking at him again. Whether it was meant to be funny or was the truth, everyone just looked at him. None of us were amused. Aaron looked more and more nervous and I could only imagine what he was thinking about all of us.

"Um, and it's not a camp. It's a community. I think you all would make valuable additions." He started to explain. "But it's not my call. My job is to convince you all to follow me back home." All of us shifted. "I know. If I were you, I wouldn't go either. Not until I knew exactly what I was getting into. Sasha, can you hand Rick my pack?" He asked and she obliged, handing it to him. "Front pocket, there's an envelope. There's no way I could convince you to come with my by just talking about our community. That's why I brought those. I apologize in advance for the picture quality. We just found an old camera store last –"

"Nobody gives a shit." Daryl shot at him.

"You're absolutely 100% right." Aaron told him.

He was being very accommodating. It was either true fear or excellent manipulation. Pulling out the pictures, I showed them to Rick. Taking in the wall, I looked up at him, my stomach fluttering with the possibilities. Then Aaron started to talk again.

"That's the first picture I wanted to show you because nothing I say about our community will matter unless you know you'll be safe. If you join us, you will be. Each panel in that wall is a 15-foot-high, 12-foot-wide slab of solid steel framed by cold-rolled steel beams and square tubing. Nothing alive or dead gets through that without our say-so. Like I said, security is obviously important. In fact, there's only one resource more critical to our community's survival – the people."

Looking at him, I couldn't disagree with him. Everything he was saying was almost a dream come true. All my maybes would be blown out of the water. All of it could disappear even if he was half right about all this. I felt Rick's eyes on me and I looked up at him, giving him a small nod. He looked at Michonne as well, gaging what the rest were thinking.

"Together we're strong. You can make us even stronger. The next picture you'll see inside the gates." He went on as Rick swiftly approached him. "Our community was first construc –"

"Rick!" I called as I watched him punch Aaron in the face, knocking him out flat.

Rushing forward, I swiftly checked him, Daryl on his other side as Maggie knelt down, shocked about what just happened. Michonne looked at Rick with annoyance. I did the same, finding Aaron okay but out cold.

"So we're clear, that look wasn't a "let's attack that man" look. It was a "he seems like an okay guy to me" look." Michonne told him.

"What the hell, Rick?" I said moving toward him. "Mine wasn't either. I believe him."

"We got to secure him." He replied.

"Rick." I frowned.

He looked at Carl, "Dump his pack. Let's see what this guy really is."

It was Michonne's turn, "Rick."

"Everybody else, we need eyes in every direction. They're coming for us. We might not know how or when, but they are."

"You don't know that." I shot at him. "Daryl. Carol." I said as I watched them tie Aaron's hands behind his back. "Rick, we don't know that anyone is coming. He seems like a decent human being."

"So did the people at Terminus." He stated.

That was hard to argue with but at the same time this wasn't the same. "Terminus felt off. He doesn't."

"Me and Sasha, we didn't see him." Maggie told him. "If he had wanted to hurt us, he could've."

"Anybody see anything?" Rick asked the barn.

"Just a lot of places to hide." Glenn replied.

"All right, keep looking."

Rick just looked at me before going to where Carl was, seeing what he found in his pack. "What did you find?"

"Rick, we need to talk about this." I told him as I followed.

Looking at the table, I picked up an empty flare gun. There was toilet paper. A bottle of water. A jar of honey and another of applesauce. The music box and a rat type thing. Nothing in there was remotely dangerous. None of it was used for defense. There was no reason to believe that he was a threat with a pack full of this kind of shit.

"Never seen a gun like that before." Carl stated.

"It's a flare gun." I told him. "It's used to let people know where you are when you're in trouble."

"Oh." He nodded as he looked at it.

Looking back at Aaron, Maggie was dabbing his face with a damp cloth, watching as he slowly came to.

"That's a hell of a right cross there, Rick." He stated.

"Sit him up." Rick commanded.

Maggie spoke softly, "I think it's better if –"

Aaron interrupted her, "It's okay."

"He's fine. Sit him up." Rick said motioning for them to do it.

I frowned at him, "He might not be, Rick." I moved forward, kneeling behind him, helping Maggie sit him up. "Dizzy?" I asked him.

"Not bad." He smiled. "Thank you." Then his focus was on Rick again. "You're being cautious. I completely understand."

"How many of your people are out there?" He asked him. Aaron didn't reply. "You have a flare gun. You have it to signal your people. How many of them are there?"

Aaron sighed, "Does it matter?"

"Yes. Yes, it does."

"I mean, of course, it matters how many people are actually out there, but does it matter how many people I tell you are out there? Because I'm pretty sure no matter what number I say – eight, 32, 444, zero – no matter what I say you're not going to trust me." He went on.

Sighing, I looked at Rick, knowing that he was completely right. Normally we wouldn't believe a word out of his mouth. But there was something about him that I trusted and I wanted Rick to trust that, too. More than that we _needed_ to trust it. Michonne was right. We'd been out here too long and we needed this. If what he was saying was true then we needed it. We needed to believe him. We needed to trust him and to have him show us his home. His community. If there was even a _fraction_ of a possibility that it could become ours as well, we – we had to try. We had to trust. Just once. We had to put trust into a stranger.

"Well, it's hard to trust anyone who smiles after getting punched in the face."

"How about a guy who leaves bottle of water for you in the road?"

"That was you?" I frowned over his shoulder. He nodded.

"How long you people been following us?" Daryl asked him.

"Long enough to see that you practically ignore a pack of roamers on your trail. Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other. You're survivors and you're people. Like I said, and I hope you won't punch me for saying it again, that is the most important resource in the world." Aaron went on.

Smiling, I nodded, meeting Rick's eyes. Him and Daryl still looked unconvinced but the rest of us seemed to be warming up to him. Why wouldn't we? I couldn't remember the last time someone talked as sincerely as he did. I wanted to know more.

Rick stepped forward, looking a little dangerous, "How many others are out there?"

"One." Aaron replied and Rick was clearly not convinced. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. If it's not words, if it's not pictures, what would it take to convince you that this is for real?" He asked, pausing. "What if I drove you to the community? All of you? We leave now; we'll get there by lunch."

"I'm not sure how the 15 of us are gonna fit in the car you and your one friend drove down here in."

"We drove separately. If we found a group, we wanted to be able to bring them all home. There's enough room for all of us."

"And you're parked just a couple miles away, right?" Carol asked him.

"East on Ridge Road, just after you hit Route 16." He replied. "We wanted to get them closer, but then the storm came, blocked the road. We couldn't clear it."

Rick nodded, "Yeah, you've really thought this through."

"Rick." I said shortly. He didn't even look at me.

"Rick, if I wanted to ambush you, I'd do it here." Aaron went on. "You know, light the barn on fire while you slept, pick you off as you ran out the only exit. You can trust me."

Rick just looked at him. He was thinking but I didn't think he was going to make the right decision without a little help.

"I'll check out the cars." Michonne told him.

"I will, too." I added right after her.

Rick looked annoyed, "There aren't any cars."

"You don't know that." I told him.

"And there's only one way to find out." Michonne added.

"We don't need to find out." Rick stated.

"We do." Michonne told him. "You know what you know and you're sure of it, but I'm not."

"Me neither." Maggie stated.

"I'm sure as hell not." I told him. He shot me a look. "We need to know, Rick. We can't just let this one go."

"Your way is dangerous, mine isn't." He said looking between the three of us.

"Passing up someplace where we can live? Where Judith can live? That's pretty dangerous. We need to find out what this is. We can handle ourselves. So that's what we're gonna do." Michonne told him.

Stepping next to her, I met my boyfriend's eyes, "This is happening whether you agree with it or not. We need to know."

"Then I will, too. I'll go." Glenn told him.

Rick was clearly unsure about it all. He needed someone to agree with him or make the vote unanimous that we needed to know.

He looked at the ginger, "Abraham."

"Yeah." He replied. "I'll walk with them."

"Rosita?"

"Okay."

"If there's trouble, you got enough firepower?" Rick asked Glenn.

"We got what we got." He replied.

He handed him Aaron's gun. "The walkies are out of juice. If you're not back in 60 minutes, we'll come. Which might be just what they want. If we're not in here, we're a target.

"I've got the area covered." Daryl told him.

"All right, groups of two, find somewhere safe within eyeshot." Rick told the ones that remained.

Moving toward the door, Rick gripped my arm, making me turn to him. "Don't fight me on this." I told him dangerously.

"Be safe." He told me, letting me go.

"I will." I told him. "Be nice to him. I believe him and if this all pans out then we might have a home again."

"Or we might be dead." He stated.

"Baby, you need to learn to trust. Just a little bit. Not a lot. Just enough to make the right decision." I told him, kissing him before going out the door.

Walking down the road, my mind was moving a mile a minute on what this could mean for us. I knew Michonne was with me. And Maggie. But I wasn't sure about Glenn, Rosita, and Abraham. Glenn would more than likely take Maggie's side. But the other power couple was here for security. I didn't know how they felt about it all. I for one trusted Aaron. If we didn't take a chance then we'd never find what we were looking for. It took me a long time to think that way and I didn't want to regress.

"Eyes open, everybody." Glenn told us. "Weapons up. You see someone coming at us, you fire."

"Copy that." Abraham stated.

"You're kidding right?" I frowned at Glenn.

Michonne frowned at him, "So if we see someone, we just shoot them?"

"It's a good question." Maggie added.

"What if they're someone like us?" Michonne asked. "What if Aaron is telling the truth? What if they're someone who had nothing to do with this?"

"We're five people walking with guns. No one's coming up to say hello." Glenn replied.

"But that's exactly what happened." Michonne stated.

"If it's someone like us, we should be afraid of them." He stated.

"Glenn." I frowned.

"He said he was watching us, right? It means he saw us yesterday. And after everything we've done, why would he want us to join his group?"

"People like us saved a priest. Saved a girl who rolled up to the prison with the Governor. Saved a crazy lady with a sword."

"And a murderer who'd crossed over to the dark side." I smiled at her.

"He saw that." Michonne nodded.

Glenn shook his head, "I don't know what he saw."

"This could be our chance, Glenn." I told him. "If he's right, then we have the opportunity to stop looking over our shoulders. We could have safety and security back. Can you really risk losing that?" I asked.

He sighed, "I don't know, Linny."

"I think you're too quick to trust." Abraham told me.

"I think you're too quick to not trust." I frowned up at him.

"I didn't take you for the reckless type." He shot at me. "Trusting too easily will get you killed."

"And not trusting at all will kill us in the end." I shot at him. "We trusted you."

"Yeah, and the jury is still out on whether you should."

"Bullshit." I shot at him. "It was easy to trust you because you're a good person. There are other good people out there. Like Aaron. We don't know his story. We're being smart and checking it out. But we'd be stupid to not think about this. We can't be so dismissive all the damn time."

"And if we all get killed because a bunch of women decide to give him a chance?" He retorted angrily.

"Those are fightin' words." I glared at him.

He stopped, "Think you can take me on?"

I turned to him, looking a long moment before handing my gun to Michonne as I marched up to him, punching him as hard as I could. There was a sense of pride as he went down on one knee. Then I was leaping backward as he moved to hit me.

"You come down on me when you nearly killed Eugene because he lied to you. You trusted him and he was the worst of us all." I told him as I dodged two more hits.

"And I'm paying for it!" He yelled before he finally made contact.

His fist was in my stomach, lifting me off the ground and then I was on my stomach, throbbing moving through my cheek. Rolling as his foot came slamming down, the others were yelling at us but I was already rolling, getting to my feet.

"You can't belittle us for wanting something better because you're officially jaded and too damn scared to trust again." I told him, kicking his stomach before punching him again. "Take it out on Eugene, not us."

Bending over, I swung under his arm, swiveling as he tried again. He had a lot of muscle and one of these hits was going to put me out. Leaping backward again, I was feeling winded and he looked like a fucking bull. He charged toward me but before he reached me, he was punched from in front of me.

"Thanks." I nodded at Michonne.

"Enough!" Glenn yelled. "We can't start fighting each other."

Both Abraham and I were glaring at each other, breathing hard. He moved toward me and I held myself high, keeping his eyes. He closed the distance, pulling me into a hug. Sighing, I shut my eyes, burying my face in his shoulder as I hugged him back. Taking a deep breath, I let him go, smiling up at him.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"You fight like a fucking monkey on steroids." He replied.

Laughing, I nodded, "That really the best you could come up with?"

"Yeah." He smirked.

"I'm a fucking Ninja." I said and shoved him, laughing again.

He grabbed me around my neck, yanking me into his chest. Laughing again, I shoved him, feeling Maggie's arm as she moved it around me. Looking at her, she turned me toward her, gently probing my cheek.

"It's gonna bruise pretty damn good." She told me. "Some capillaries are broken." She added, frowning as she touched the corner of my eye.

"I'm good." I told her.

She frowned, "I've seen what he can do."

"He's a fucking beast." I smiled, looking at Abraham. "No hard feelings, Abe." He nodded but didn't look convinced. Sighing, I stepped up to him. "I started it and I shouldn't have. I apologize. We're family. We shouldn't be fighting each other."

He nodded. "I'm sorry for continuing it."

"Just tell me that I'm not completely wrong."

He sighed and nodded, "You're not completely wrong."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"We just need to be careful, Linny." He told me with seriousness. "Don't jump on the trust train so quickly."

I nodded, "I know. I just liked what he had to say." He nodded back, smiling at me.

"Alright, let's keep moving." Glenn told us, leading the way.

Reaching the trees that Aaron had talked about, we found the cars. They were here just like he said they'd be. Glenn was on edge, ready to fire on whoever or whatever might appear. My gun was in my hand but I was holding it at my side. Maggie had hers out but she too wasn't taking aim on anything.

"He was telling the truth." Michonne stated.

"Yes he was." I smiled.

There was a car as well as an RV. He was right. We all would fit and there was nothing ominous about them. He was simply looking for people to help protect his community. Smiling at Michonne, my head jerked as I heard cracking and rustling in the trees. Now our guns were up and ready.

"Not one step closer, asshole!" Glenn yelled into the trees.

Michonne gripped my arm as we moved to take cover, waiting for whoever it was to show themselves. The rustling got louder and two walkers appeared. There was a sense of relief. It was just walkers. It was kind of scary to think that they were becoming something that weren't as scary as they used to be. As they should be. Abe and Rosita moved forward and took care of them. Staying outside, the RV was cleared, and there was a happy sound coming from inside. Looking, Abe was holding a can of spaghetti rings.

Moving around the RV, Abraham was in the driver's seat, taking us back to the barn. Looking through the cupboards, I practically burst into tears as I gripped a can of pears. Holding it as if it were the most important thing in the world, I smiled down at the can.

"Are you gonna eat them or just stare at them?" Michonne grinned as she stepped up to me.

"Think we can spare it?" I asked her. Her brows were furrowed but she was smiling, nodding at me. "You don't think we should wait and share?"

"You can share it with me right now." She grinned at me.

Laughing, I opened it, both of us pulling out pieces and moaning as we devoured them. "So good."

She laughed and nudged me, "Should I leave you two alone?"

Laughing harder, I nudged her back, "I can't help it. I love pears."

"I know." She smiled. Grinning, I just looked at her. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing." I told her. "I'm just…happy."

"Things are looking up." She nodded.


	36. Unexpected Setback

**Chapter Thirty-six: Unexpected Setback**

Getting back to the barn, I sat at the table as everyone else filed out. I'd looked in the mirror and knew that I had some explaining to do. But I wasn't the only one. I'd left my mark on Abe, only I felt like his would be accepted while mine would require unfounded worry.

"I'm alright." I told Rick as he took my face in his hands. "It was just a…misunderstanding."

"Who?" He asked and then did a double-take at Abraham. He met my eyes again, "Really?"

I shrugged a shoulder at him, "He pissed me off."

He smiled and shook his head. "Yeah."

"Aaron was right." I told him. He nodded and bowed his head. "Everything was where he said it was and it has preserves on it." He met my eyes again. "Take a look."

Following him, we started to unload everything that was in the RV. There were cans of vegetables, fruit, spaghetti rings, pineapple juice. Food that would last us a while. And with juice we wouldn't be as thirsty as we had been. We piled it all up on the table at the back of the barn. Rick stood in front of it, clearly thinking.

He turned to Aaron, motioning toward the goods, "This, this is ours now."

"There's more than enough." Aaron told him.

"It's ours whether or not we go to your camp." Rick clarified.

"What do you mean?" Carl asked. "Why wouldn't we go?"

"Excellent question." I frowned, crossing my arms.

"If he were lying or if he wanted to hurt us…but he isn't…and he doesn't." Michonne told him. "We need this. So we're going, all of us. Somebody say something if they feel differently."

"I don't know, man." Daryl told him. "This barn smells like horse shit."

Rick looked at me. I stepped closer to him. "This is a good thing, baby. Michonne is right. We need this. We're going."

"Yeah." He nodded. "We're going." Then he turned to Aaron. "So where are we going? Where's your camp?"

"Well, every time I've done this, I've been behind the wheel, driving recruits back." He replied. "I believe you're good people. I've bet my life on it. I'm just not ready to bet my friends' lives just yet."

Michonne stepped up to him, "You're not driving. So if you want to get home, you'll have to tell us how."

I moved to him, squatting down in front of him. "I know that you're uneasy. You should be. You're one against all of us. But I am going to ask you to just tell us what we need to know." He just looked at me. "I want to trust you. I really, really do. But you need to help me. Meet us halfway."

"Linny." Rick said.

Looking at him, I stood and moved to the side. He pulled out a map and was looking at Aaron expectantly.

Aaron sighed and reluctantly answered, "Go north on Route 16."

"And then?" Michonne asked.

"I'll tell you when we get there." He replied.

Rick looked at the map before pointing at a road, "We'll take 23 North. You'll give us directions from there."

"That's – I don't know how else to say it – that's a bad idea. We've cleared 16. It'll be faster." Aaron replied.

"We'll take 23." Rick stated. "We'll leave at sundown."

"We're doing this at night?" Sasha frowned at him.

Rick turned toward everything, "Look, I know it's dangerous. But it's better than riding up to the gates during the day. If it isn't safe, we need to get gone before they know we're there."

Sighing, I nodded and ran my fingers through my hair. He had a point but at the same time I had a bad feeling about this. If Aaron thought 23 was unsafe then I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust that he wouldn't send us to our deaths. If he did that then he would die as well. What would his motive be? What would be his plan to get away?

"No one is going to hurt you." Aaron told us. "You're trying to protect your group, but you're putting them in danger."

Rick turned toward him, "Tell me where the camp is, we'll leave right now."

"Rick." I said sternly. He just looked at me. "Aaron." He looked up at me but didn't say anything. Sighing again, I paced away before coming back to them.

"It's going to be a long night." Rick stated. "Eat. Get some rest if you can."

I watched him as he walked from the barn, Michonne moved after him and I was only a few steps behind them. Reaching the barn door, she was just standing there, watching him as he started to search the car.

"I'm thinking you, me, Linny, and Glenn drive with that guy. Carl and Judith are safer in there." He said looking at the RV. She didn't say anything. "You okay?"

"When you said that we were going…was that for real?" Michonne asked him. "Or are you just trying to get this guy to tell you where his camp is?"

He stood, "We're going."

"Whatever it takes to get there." She told him. "Just as long as we get there."

"When you first came up on the walls outside Woodbury…what did you hear?" He asked her.

"Nothing." Michonne replied.

"And Terminus?"

"Nothing."

He nodded at her. "Sometime tonight, we'll be outside his camps walls. And without seeing inside, I'm gonna have to decide whether to bring my family in. He asked me before what it would take for me to believe it was real. Truth is…I'm not sure if anything could convince me to go in there. But I'm gonna see. I'm gonna see." He confided in her.

"It doesn't mean anything." Maggie said from over my shoulder.

"What?" I asked her.

She smiled at me, "You were wearing a very jealous expression."

"They're close. They were close before we were." I stated.

"Where's this coming from?" She asked.

"I don't know." I told her. "Sometimes I wonder."

Michonne and Rick came back, Michonne slipping inside while Rick didn't hesitate to put his hand against my face, snaking his arm around me as he kissed me deeply and passionately. He took my breath away and I leaned into him, putting my hand against his face as I wrapped my other around his neck.

"Wow, baby." I told him.

Then Maggie whispered in my ear, "No need to wonder. He's all yours."

Grinning, I shoved her away from me. Rick shifted me to the side of the barn, leaning against me, pinning me. Running my fingers through his hair, I smiled at him, unable to stop staring at him. He leaned in and kissed me again. Slowly this time, parting my lips with his tongue, brushing it against mine as he deepened it.

"I saw you." He smirked at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"Watching me talk to Michonne." He replied. He brought his face to mine, feeling his lips brush mine but he didn't kiss me. "I find you really sexy when you're jealous."

Laughing, he joined me, kissing me again. Taking his face in my hands, I continued to kiss him, wanting to do more. "If this pans out and we get our own room, we are not coming out for days. I am going to be selfish and we are going to just spend time together."

"I think I can handle that." He nodded and then was kissing me again.

Making out for a while, when we finally stopped, I pressed my forehead to his, once again taking his face in my hands. "I am in love with you." I whispered to him.

"Me too, baby." He whispered back. "I love you."

Everyone was starting to settle down, splitting off into smaller groups. There was whispering and glancing before some started to fall asleep. I wasn't sure how I felt about sleeping. I wanted to and yet was a little to wired to. I'd slept good after the storm and felt awake enough despite the traveling we'd be doing tonight.

"Here." I told Aaron, offering him a drink of water.

He took it graciously, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled at him. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah." He replied.

"Does your head hurt?" I asked next.

"A little but nothing unbearable."

I nodded at him, smiling, "Good."

"You seem like a good person." He told me. "You all do."

I laughed at him, "No we don't. Some of us have seen too much. Been out here too long. And I'm right along with them."

"You're a good person." He told me with a hard tone.

Meeting his eyes, I nodded, "I like to think I am. But you don't know us, Aaron. You might think you do because you've been watching us, but you don't." He nodded. "You seem like a good guy." I smiled at him. "And I want so very much to believe you and trust you and go with you. But I'm also terrified of being led to our death. I've trusted before and it hasn't panned out."

He smiled and nodded, "I'm telling you the truth."

Keeping his eyes for a long moment, I nodded, "I think you are."

"Linny." Rick said from behind me.

I looked at him and nodded. Looking back at Aaron, I put my hand against his face, "It's gonna be okay. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Are you like…co-leader or something?" He smirked.

"Or something." I smirked back before standing and going to Rick. "You okay?"

He nodded, "Yeah. I just am still unsure about him."

"I'm not." I smiled at him.

He smiled and nodded again, "You do tend to be a decent judge of character."

Laughing, I wrapped my arm around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of it, "I like you."

He chuckled and brought his face closer to mine, "Took you long enough."

"You sacrificed me, remember?" I smirked at him. "Kinda legit when it comes to reasons to hate someone."

He sighed and nodded at me, "Yeah. Never again."

"Good." I smiled and kissed him.

"Linny?" Carl said from next to me.

"Sweetie?" I said putting my hand against his face. Seeing the seriousness in his eyes, I nodded, "Wanna go for walk?" He nodded at me. "We'll be back." I told Rick, putting my hand on his arm.

He nodded, "Be careful."

"Of course, baby." I smiled at him.

Wrapping my arm around Carl, we walked from the barn. We made it down the road, nothing but the sound of nature surrounding us. I didn't know what he wanted to talk about and I wasn't sure if he did either. It might have just been an excuse to get away for a few minutes.

"You should be sleeping." I told him. He nodded. "You okay? You called me Linny and you haven't done that for a while." He nodded again. "You gonna say anything about what's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" I asked rubbing the hat on his head as a gently pushed him away from me.

He smiled, "I want to believe him. I want to trust him."

"Me, too."

"I know." He nodded. "But Dad doesn't want to trust him. But he's going along with it because the rest of us want to go."

I sighed and nodded, "He is. But he knows it's for the best. He might be leery about it but he knows that we need to know. We need to see this community."

He nodded. "I want to see it."

"Me, too." I beamed at him. "God, Carl, what if it's all true and we can have a home again? Walls. Safety. That's all we've ever wanted and that's all I want for you and Judy and your dad and everyone."

He nodded again, "Me, too."

I grinned at him, "You and your dad nod a lot."

He laughed and nodded, "I've noticed."

Laughing, I nudged him before wrapping my arm around his shoulders, pulling him into me. We walked and talked, enjoying each other's company. We even came across a few walkers that we dealt with, almost feeling like we needed to keep up the practice of taking them down. Something that was a necessity and yet the thought of being able to take a break from them was so tempting I could cry.

"Thanks, Mom." Carl told me as the barn came back into sight, he arm firmly around my waist.

"Any time, Carl." I replied, taking his hat off so I could press a kiss against his hair before putting it back on again. "Remember that. No matter what, I'm here for you. Even if it'll make me mad or if you think it sounds crazy. I'm here for you."

"I know." He told me, looking up at me.

Meeting his eyes, I couldn't help but swell with pride as I saw the trust in his eyes. The feeling that he looked up to me the way I was sure he looked up to his mother. Then I felt a sudden wave of guilt. I hoped she would be okay with him calling me 'mom'. I hoped that she would be okay with me loving him like he was my own. Loving her husband. Loving the life that she should have had.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me.

Looking at him, I sighed, "I was actually thinking of your mother." He just looked at me questioningly. "I was hoping that she would be okay with everything that's happening. With you and your dad. And Judith."

"She would." He told me. "She'd be relieved to know that we had someone who was looking out for us."

"Good." I smiled. "I hate that she's not here though."

"Me, too. But…we can't change what happened."

"I know."

"I know you know." He smiled. "You've lost people, too."

My mind went through the list of them, making a long moment pass before I replied, "Yeah."

When we reentered the barn, it was quiet, nearly everyone sleeping. Going to Aaron, I sat next to him, leaning my back against the post that he was tied to. Rick frowned at me but I simply raised a brow and smiled at him. Carl laid next to me, resting his head in my lap. Putting his hat over his face, I wrapped my arm around him, shutting my eyes, falling sleep to the rise and fall of his chest underneath my arm.

Being shaking awake, I looked up to see Daryl. Smiling, I put my hand against his face, shutting my eyes again as I felt his lips against my forehead. Making a soft noise, he nodded at me. Waking up Carl, we both got to our feet. Daryl was still in front of me, pulling me against him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hugged him tightly. He took my face in his hands and brushed my bangs out of my eyes.

"You okay?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Yeah."

Smiling, I took his head in my hands and pressed a kiss against his forehead, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just anxious about this whole thing. How it's gonna go down. What we're gonna find."

"We're gonna find a home." I smiled at him. He smiled and hugged me again.

"Let's move." Rick announced to the barn.

He stepped forward and gripped Aaron, getting him on his feet. Turning to him, I took Aaron's arm and smiled at Rick. He nodded and let go of him. Taking him to the car, I made sure he was buckled in before I got in next to him. Michonne was next, getting in on my other side, leaving me in the middle. Glenn sat behind the wheel and it seemed to take ages for Rick to come. I hadn't even said anything to Carl or the others. Every time we were split up could be the last time we saw each other. But that wasn't the case. Not this time. We were going somewhere where we could finally live and thrive. I was so excited. I felt like a kid again.

We started out and Rick started to look through the car. He opened the glove compartment to see several license plates, showing them to Glenn before he looked over his shoulder at Aaron.

"Um, I'm trying to collect all 50 states. Put them all on a wall in my house." Aaron told him with a smile.

I looked at him with awe, smiling as I looked at Michonne. She asked the question we were all thinking, "You have your own house?"

"Mm. See for yourself." Aaron told her kindly.

I took the pictures from his pack, leaning closer to Michonne as we started to go through the ones we hadn't seen. They had solar power. Houses with yards. Streets. We looked at the walls again. They had…everything.

"Why don't you have any pictures of your people?" She asked him.

"Oh, I took a picture of the whole group, but I didn't get the exposure right." He told her. "When I tried to develop it later, it just –"

"Did you ask him the questions?" Michonne interrupted him.

"I didn't even think about it." I frowned.

"No." Rick replied.

Michonne looking at Aaron, "How many walkers that you killed?"

He frowned at her, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Answer her." I told him.

"How many?"

It took him a long time to reply, "I don't know. A lot."

"How many people?" She asked next.

"Two."

"Why?" I asked him.

"Because they tried to kill me." He replied.

Smiling, I nodded at him, seeing Rick shifting up front, "What is it?" I asked him. He held up a sound enhancer. "Are you serious?" I said and looked at Aaron.

"You were listening to us?" Glenn shot at him.

"I already said I was watching you." Aaron stated. "Yes, I was listening."

"It means his people could have one, too." Rick stated. "They could've heard our plan. This isn't safe."

"Damnit." I said and ran my fingers through my hair. "There goes that trust."

"Shit!" Glenn yelled as we all braced ourselves.

There was a hoard of walkers in the road. There was no time to stop, barreling through them as fast as we could.

"Glenn!" Rick called.

"They were right behind us." He stated. "They would have hit us. Now they can get out."

Looking behind us, I couldn't see the RV. It made me anxious and yet happy, hoping that they got away okay. Either way, we were still barreling forward, blood covering the windshield so thick that it was impossible to see out of it. There was carnage as well, having hit so many walkers that we finally skidded to a stop.

"Rick." I said reaching for him as he got out of the car. "Damnit." I said and pushed against Michonne. "Go. Go!"

Getting out of the car, we looked behind us. There were no lights. The RV was gone, leaving us alone with a car full of walker and several still coming toward us. Looking at Rick, he was staring at the darkness behind us.

Quickly moving to him, I gripped his arm, "They got away. They're fine."

Glenn got on top of the car, "She's right. They got away."

"All right, we'll circle back and find them. Let's go." Rick told us.

Aaron looked concerned, "They're okay?"

"Yeah." Michonne told him.

Glenn rushed to the front of the car, starting to scrape the walker blood and gore off the windshield before he got back in. The rest of us got back in, Rick pulling out the map, looking for a way to get us out of here.

"All right, we can take a left a couple miles up 23. Jefferson Avenue." Rick told Glenn.

"Jefferson Avenue." Glenn repeated.

"We gotta get out of here." Aaron said a bit frantically.

Glenn tried to turn the engine over but it wouldn't start.

"We gotta get out of here." Aaron repeated louder.

"Let me see what I can see." Michonne said getting out of the car.

I sighed, "Me, too."

"Linny." Rick stated.

"She shouldn't be alone." I told him and slid out.

Michonne was at the front of the car and I swiftly joined her, pulling limbs and gore out of the grill to try and get air flow. Yanking an arm out of the hood of the car, I fell backward, looking into the sky as a flare shot into it. My heart started to race, Michonne going back to the open door, only to watch her get knocked backward. Getting to my feet, I rushed toward her as Aaron came out and took off into the woods. Looking at Michonne, she was fine, not hesitating to rush after Aaron.

"Aaron!" I called, following the sound of him. The woods grew silent, making me stop and listen. "Shit." I whispered, pulling my knife out. "Aaron?" I said softly.

Moving forward, I kept moving in the direction we had seen the flare, knowing that he was going to be moving toward it. His arms were tied behind him. He wouldn't be able to defend himself against the dead. Taking a deep breath, I kept moving, hearing a sound and swiftly moved toward it. Aaron was attempting to fight off a walker, keeping it at bay, but he wouldn't be able to for long. Rushing up behind it, I stabbed it, yanking it away from him.

"You okay?" I asked putting my hand against his face. He nodded frantically at me. "Turn around." I commanded and he swiftly spun. I cut the ropes that had bound him, turning him back toward me. "You sure you're okay?"

He nodded, "Yes. Thank you."

"Linny!" Glenn said, my arm being grabbed.

"Glenn." I said gripping him back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded. There were gunshots and both Glenn and I turned toward the sound. "We gotta go."

Glenn looked at Aaron, "Run if you want. I got other things to worry about."

"We can make it together." Aaron told him. "But we can only make it together." Glenn frowned at him. "You said that. I was listening."

Looking at Glenn, I gripped him, "We gotta go."

He looked at me before Aaron, "Let's go."

Rushing toward the gunshots, my heart was racing. Nothing could happen to Rick. Or to Michonne. We couldn't lose anyone else and when the gunshots stopped, I felt like my legs were going to fall off with how fast I was attempting to move. When movement finally caught out eyes, we could see Rick and Michonne, surrounded by walkers. Pulling my gun out, I started to shoot them, being careful not to get too close to my family.

"Rick." I said and rushed to him.

"Linny." He said taking me in his arms. Then he let me go and looked at Aaron.

He put his hands up and put the gun he had been using on the ground. "If you really wanna tie me up again, that's fine, but hurry up."

Rick picked it up, "There's no time. We're going that way."

He put his hand on the side of my head before we were rushing down the path. We eventually came out onto the road. Looking at the closest sign, Route 16 was printed on it. Looking both ways, we had no idea which way to go.

"Where are they?" Rick asked.

"I don't know." Aaron replied.

"If this is a trap to get us back where you want us, your people are gonna die tonight." He threatened as he started down the road again. The rest of us swiftly following him. "The flare was toward the water tower."

"Rick." I said with worry.

He nodded at me, "I know."

He took my hand, keeping it for a long while as we jogged down the road. We kept our eyes out for any walkers or danger that might be lurking in the shadows. Reaching the water tower, Rick started to whistle, all of us listening intently for a response. When one finally came, I ran faster, coming round a corner, darting down the road as Daryl stood in the middle of it.

"Daryl." I said throwing myself into his arms.

"Caroline." He said holding me tightly.

"Dad!" Carl yelled and rushed to his father.

"Carl!" He said embracing his son. "Your sister okay?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, we're fine."

"Eric? Eric?" Aaron said rushing inside. We followed him, watching him dart into the back. "Eric?"

"In here." A new voice called back.

"Eric!" Aaron called and rushed toward the sound of his voice.

Rick moved to follow him. "Hey." I said gripping his arm.

He looked at me and went anyway. Following him, we both stopped in the doorway, seeing Aaron at his friend's side. He had been hurt, his leg elevated as he was propped up against some cushions. There was a small wood stake that was acting as a splint for his ankle.

"I'm okay. It's like a volleyball injury." Eric told Aaron. "It's a broken ankle. At least that's what Maggie said. I like her." Aaron looked like he was going to breakdown. "It's not a big deal."

"Oh, my God." Aaron said with shock.

He knelt down, bending over and touching Eric's leg. "I'll just go to the infirmary when we get back."

"Oh…"

Then Aaron was kissing him, making me grin at him, "That explains a lot." I whispered to Rick. He just looked at me.

"When I saw that flare go up, I – I thought…" Aaron started.

"You were worried, were you?"

"Yeah."

"This is your fault, you know?" Eric grinned at him.

"Is that so?" Aaron said laughing lightly.

"Because I love you. And because when I'm worried, I do stupid things. And when I do stupid things, I wind up underneath a rust bucket surrounded by roamers who roll a rear passenger tire onto my left ankle." Eric explained.

Smiling, feeling like I was now intruding on their happy moment, I put my hand against Rick's shoulder before we rejoined the rest of our group. Going to Maggie, I wrapped my arms around her neck, hugging her tightly.

"You good?" Abraham asked as I let her go.

"Yeah." I smiled before looking at Rosita, putting my hand on her arm. "You good?"

She smiled, "Yeah."

"Excuse me. Excuse me. Everyone." Aaron said as he came back into the room. "Thank you. You saved Eric. I owe you. All of you. And I will make sure that debt is paid in full when we get to our community. When we get to Alexandria. Now, I'm not sure about you, but I'd rather not to any more driving tonight. Maybe we can hit the road tomorrow morning."

"Agreed." I smiled, feeling a little relieved, looking at Rick.

"That sounds fine." He nodded. "But if we're staying here for the night, you're sleeping over there." He said pointing in the opposite direction of Eric.

"Rick." I frowned, shaking my head.

"You really think we gotta do that?" Maggie asked him.

"It's the safe play. We don't know you." Rick replied.

"The only way you're gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me." Aaron told me.

"We're not going to shoot you." I said taking a step in front of Rick.

He moved around me but Glenn swiftly stopped him, "Whoa. Rick, he told us where the camp is. And he really was only traveling with one other person. They're both unarmed. One of them's got a broken ankle. I want us to be safe, too. I can't give up everything else. I know what I said, but it does matter."

Rick looked at Aaron and nodded, "All right."

He disappeared and we all looked at each other. Everyone was already starting to settle down. Grabbing one of the bottles of water, I went back outside and started to rinse as much blood from my skin as I could. It didn't take long for Rick to appear, sighing heavily as he stepped up to me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him.

"I'm still unsure about all of this." He told me.

Nodding, I shook my hands to dry them, moving closer to him. "I know, Rick. But this is a good thing. This is something that we all need. I know that you think your way is safer and will keep us alive longer, but it also keeps us segregated and in a constant state of survival. This might mean a life for all of us." He nodded. Taking his face in my hands, I moved even closer to him, "I really need you to give this a chance. Please, baby."

He wrapped his arms around me, "I will."

"Thank you." I smiled and kissed him.

"Let's get some sleep." He told me.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to get any sleep tonight?" I smirked.

He sighed, "Always worried about everyone else."

"We need to be safe and I've gotten pretty good at not sleeping." I told him.

"I know." He replied. "We need to work on that."

"We can when we get to Alexandria. Aaron has his own house, Rick. A house!" I told him excitedly. "What if we get to have our own home? Just imagine how amazing that would be. It would mean everything to us. An actual roof over our heads. Supplies. Safety for our family." I couldn't help but feel a little high at the thought. "I just…can't even wrap my head around what that would mean."

He smiled, "I like when you get excited."

"I wish you'd get excited more." I smiled back at him. "Baby, this could be a turning point in our lives. In our story of survival. This could be everything we ever wanted. This is amazing!" I said getting even more excited. He nodded, clearly not buying into my excitement. "Look, Rick, if anything goes wrong you know we can get ourselves out of it. But Michonne is right when she says that we need this. We owe ourselves to see what's out there." He nodded again. "Aaron is a good guy. Eric is a good guy. Most gay guys are." He actually chuckled at that. "If anything, we can see what kind of decorating they've done."

He smiled and shook his head, "You always make light of things."

"I always make you smile." I corrected him. "We all need a few more smiles and a little less seriousness. If we can't find a reason to smile then what the hell are we saving ourselves for?" I smiled, running my hands up and down his chest.

He smiled and kissed me, "Thank you."

"I love you."

"The bloods gone. Let's get some rest." He said running his fingers through my hair.

I leaned up, brushing my lips against his, whispering, "I can think of something else we could do." He laughed, his hand slipping under the base of my shirt as he pressed his lips against my neck. "We have a bed right here."

"And what about the others?" He asked, his lips moving to the other side of my neck.

His beard was rough and yet sent tingles through me as he gently sucked my skin, feeling his tongue run up to my jawline. He gently bit me before taking my mouth in his. I could hardly remember to breathe let alone find the words to answer him. He just laughed and walked me to the camper door, opening it with his lips still against mine.

Stepping backward into it, I pulled him with me, pulling him to me as we moved backward to where the bedroom was. Laughing, he closed the door clumsily, lifting me into his arms. Wrapping my legs around him, I had his head in my hands as he laid me down, his hand warm against my back.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He told me.

"Nope." I smiled as I ran my fingers through his hair.

He grinned, "You're a bad influence on me."

I arched against him, "God, I hope so."

He laughed and then his lips were against my neck again. Moaning, I just wanted him against me. I wanted him naked and I wanted his cock inside of me. It'd been too long and I wanted to not only just enjoy him, but take his mind off of everything. A little endorphin release would do him good right now. Not to mention all the other happy feelings that sex could bring on. As a side note, we might actually get some sleep afterward.

Pulling his shirt over his head, I did the same, lying back as his lips found my stomach. His hands gripped my ribcage, his tongue trailed as his lips made their way back up my body. Shuttering underneath him, I gripped his hair, so ready for what was about to happen. We were both breathing hard as he fought against each other's pants, laughing before we finally got the job done. Lying naked on top of each other, he paused, staring down at me. Smiling, I trailed my finger from one side of his face to the other.

"I love you." He told me.

"I love you, baby." I replied.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"For what?" I whispered back, kissing him gently.

He smiled and kissed me deeply, "For being you. For not letting me grow hard. For…everything."

Grinning at him, I arched against him, my body pressing against his, "I can think of a way you can repay me."

He laughed before he was kissing me again. Our arms and legs were entangled as he finally pushed inside of me. We both shuttered, moaning in sync as we moved against each other, our lips never parting. Breathing each other in, he rocked against me as I remained locked against him. His hips rubbed against mine. Sweat making every movement fluent and more amazing than the last. Climaxing, he came right after, resting himself on top of me. The coolness of the air made steam start to lift from our heated skin. Knowing that we'd be cold before too long.

Once we'd caught our breath, he propped himself up on his arm and looked down at me. I felt like I was glowing, bringing him to me so I could kiss him. He smiled and didn't disappoint, his lips moving with passion against mine. He parted from me long enough to find a blanket and then he was with me again. Tossing it over us, I was pinned between the wall and his side, not wanting to ever move. He was warm and the coolness of the wall felt nice. His arm was wrapped around me tightly as he stared at the ceiling. I could see that the glow of sex was already starting to wear off and our situation was coming to the forefront of his mind.

"Baby?" I said softly.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"Could you do me a _huge_ favor?" I asked.

He looked at me, "Yeah, baby, anything."

I smiled at him, "Could you just be here with me and not think about tomorrow or today or the past or the future. I want you right here in the present where you just had some damn good sex with an amazing woman who finds you irresistible and amazing and gorgeous and –"

I was silenced as his lips crashed against mine, making me laugh. He was grinning when he finally leaned away from me again. "I'm here with you, Caroline. I'm always with you. I just can't help but feel like I'm being slightly irresponsible for not being with the others."

"I think they'll understand." I smiled and laughed lightly.

"I think you're right." He smiled. "Wanna go again?"

Grinning, I rolled over him, ravaging his mouth as my hand slid down his body, reaching between his legs. "I'll go until neither us can walk anymore."

Knocking on the RV door woke us the next morning. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly as I nestled closer against Rick's side. Opening my eyes, I lifted my chin, looking at him. He was still sleeping. Sleeping possibly the soundest I've ever seen. Giving myself a mental pat on the back, considering it was me who was sleeping next to him.

"Baby." I whispered. He shot up, making me jerk backward, falling from the bed and hit the floor. "Ow." I said as my shoulder blade pulsed with pain. Sitting up, I picked up his belt, glaring at the buckle of it. "Bastard." I said and dropped it.

"Sorry." Rick smiled from the bed.

Looking up at him, his eyes were on my breasts. Leaning back, I shimmied slightly, speaking lustfully, "Like what you see, cowboy?"

He rolled out of bed, flattening me against the floor, "I sure do, ma'am."

Laughing, I wrapped my arms around him as he pressed his lips to my neck, biting it before running it tongue along the spot. Then the knocking got louder.

"Come on you two lovebirds! Time to move!"

"Okay!" I called to Abe. Rick dropped his face into my neck, groaning. "I know, baby." I said and combed my fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss against his temple. "Time to get back to reality."

Getting dressed, I erased our presence before sighing, looking up at him. He smiled and slowly leaned into me, opening his mouth and took mine. Kissing me passionately, I leaned against his chest, gripping his shirt as he pressed his lips to my forehead. Turning, he took my hand as we walked to the door, letting ourselves out. Stepping down, the day seemed brighter and I couldn't help but smile. Abe was standing there with crossed arms, looking at us as a parent would their child.

"I'm glad you guys got your kinky time in but, breakfast is in there and we're all getting hungry." He told us. "What are we gonna find inside?"

Smirking, I put my finger against his chest, "Of all the people here, I'd think you'd be high-fiving me and not chastising me."

He leaned toward me, whispering, "Secretly I am, but Rick's involved so somebody has to play dad."

Laughing, I shook my head at him, starting to walk away, "You're like third in line for that role."

"What?" He frowned. "Who's before me?"

"Glenn is first. Then Daryl. You? You're not top dog around here." I grinned as I walked backward.

"I might be!" He frowned.

"Go eat and stop pestering me." I laughed and turned around. Going inside, I swiftly moved to where Carl and Judith were. "There are my babies."

Carl smiled at me, "Have a good night?"

"Yes we did." I grinned as I took Judith from him. She shrieked and bounced against me. "How about you? You two get some sleep?"

"Probably more than you." He smirked.

I winked at him, "It was a good night."

He laughed, "Gross. But good."

Pulling him into a hug, I pressed a kiss against his hair. "You all ready to go?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "While you two fooled around, the rest of us made sure we were ready."

Laughing, I nodded, "Alright, alright. Let's eat and get moving."

Doing just that, we enjoyed the feeling of full bellies before we all loaded ourselves back into the cars. We didn't look back as we started out, making it a ways before the RV started to smoke and we ended up on the side of the road. We all got out, looking around as Abraham and Glenn talked about what they were going to do. Glenn clearly knew was he was doing. Now all we had to do was wait for him to finish.

Lying on top of the hood of the car, Rick was on one side of me with Michonne on the other. I was taking in the sun, trying not to let my anxiousness show. I wanted to get to Alexandria. I wanted to see the walls and meet the people. I wanted to see what we could potentially be calling home.

"The fight's over. You've gotta let it go." Michonne told Rick. "I know it's hard. After it's kept you warm and fed and…alive. But that fight…it turns on you. You've gotta let it go."

"That's what Bob was trying to tell me back at the church." Rick replied. "What to risk. When it's safe. When to let someone in." He sighed, his hand finding my thigh. I put my hand over his, rubbing his skin with my thumb. "The rules keep changing."

"They did for me." Michonne stated.

The RV was up and moving again. Sitting up, I slid from the hood, turning to my boyfriend and sister. "Ready?" I smiled.

"Before we get going, I gotta – I gotta take a moment." Rick stated, taking my hand as he moved away from the car.

"You okay?" I asked as I pressed my shoulder against the back of his. He nodded. "Still worried?" He nodded again. "Afraid of what we'll find?" He nodded again. "Afraid that it's going to be quiet and be just as big a letdown as every other place since the prison?" He stopped and looked at me. I took his other hand, smiling at him. "Baby, I know you're worried and afraid, but we have to hope that Aaron isn't lying and that what we find will be so much better than we could have imagined. We're gonna be okay, Rick. We are."

"How do you know?" He asked.

I smiled, moving closer to him, "Because we're together. You have me, Rick. You have me and I have you. We have Carl and Judith. We have our family. We'll deal with whatever gets thrown at us and we'll be okay."

He nodded and kissed me, "I love you."

"I love you." I smiled, kissing him again. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Lay all your doubts and fears on me, baby." I told him. "I can take it and I will make you smile and see you through everything because I love you. I love everything about you, even your faults."

He smiled, "Same is for me, Linny."

"Even when I'm mad at you, I love you. Even if I don't agree with you, I love you. Even if you are afraid of what we're about to do, I love you." I told him matter-of-factly.

He kissed me, wrapping his arm around me, "Thank you."

"I'd do anything for you." I stated. "If I haven't made myself clear yet, I love you."

He pressed his face into my neck, "I love you."

"Let's go." I smiled.

Going back to Michonne, she smiled at me, pulling me into a hug before we slid into the car again. This was it. The homestretch. Before the day ended we would reach Alexandria. A place that we might be able to call home. Looking over my shoulder, I looking at the RV, knowing that my family was in there. My kids were in the back seat and I smiled at Carl as I gently touched Judith. They were going to have a safe place to call home and be able to grow up in as normal a way as possible. This was it. Our moment.

My heart was racing as we rolled up to the gates. They were impressive. They looked sturdy and safe. Safe. Gripping Rick's hand, I took slow deep breaths to try and keep myself from completely freaking out. He was staring at the gates just as hard as I was. We were listening intently as we waited to hear something from the other side. There had to be something. This couldn't be like all the other places. There had to be –

There.

It happened.

The sound of laughter hit our ears. Playful screams accompanying them.

Children.

There were children here.

Then the sound of people talking filtered to our ears. Aaron had been telling the truth. He had a community where there were people and children and gates and safety. From right here, listening to them, it was almost as if the world had ended here. Looking at Rick, I felt him relax. He heard it, too. We did it.

"You ready?" I smiled at him.

He nodded, "Yeah. Yeah."

Getting out, my stomach was fluttering with anxiousness and happiness. This was it. This was the moment we had all been waiting for. The moment where our lives changed. We were going to be given the greatest gift anyone in this world could ever be given.

I moved to Rick, both of us listening to the life that was on the other side of these gates. I took his hand, being patient even though I wanted to run and see what was on the other side. Rick looked at me before opening the backseat, taking Judith from inside. He took my hand, looking at the gates again.

"Hey." I said to Carol, wrapping my arm around her as she stepped up to us.

"You ready?" She asked.

I beamed at her, "I don't think I've ever been readier."

She pressed a kiss against my cheek. Then she was looking at Rick. "Even though you were wrong, you were still right."

He nodded at her. Smiling, I hugged her tightly, resting my head against hers. She moved away from us, leaving the three of us together. Then I felt an arm around my waist and embraced Carl.

"Let's do this." I smiled, looking at Rick.

He nodded, smiling, "I'm ready."


	37. Alexandria

**Chapter Thirty-seven: Alexandria**

Walking forward, I took in the few broken down homes that were between us and the gate. It looked like fire had been involved. Some in ruins and others nearly there. I felt fingers against my hand and I looked at Carl. He was looking at one of the houses and I looked up to see a figure move from sight. Wrapping my arm around him, I pulled him to me, moving us forward as an inner gate was opened. There was a noise to the side, making us all jump. Daryl loosed an arrow, hitting a possum through its head. Letting out a relived breath, I smiled at Carl. We all stopped when the gate was fully opened. It was large and metal and looked sturdy.

Daryl held up the possum, "We brought dinner."

There was a guy standing there that looked taken aback by the sight of us. His eyes were too close together, his hair slightly long and scruffy, and looked a little on the nerdy side. There was something about him that made me instantly distrust him.

"It's okay. Come on in, guys." Aaron told us as he stepped forward.

He took the lead and the main gate was closed behind us, my stomach turning, feeling a little trapped. But I wanted this. I wanted to be here. It was just hard to be closed in. Though I was sure that I would be able to get used to it. I had to. We had to. We needed to make this work. That thought solidified as I took in the neighborhood that was in front of us. The well-kempt grass. The clean siding. The sound of children and the bark of a dog. It looked like the world hadn't ended here. There were solar panels meaning that that had power. With power came all the amenities we'd been living without. This was…everything. Everything we could have hoped for.

"Before we take this any further, I need you all to turn over your weapons." The guy told us. Even his voice was grating on the ears. "Stay, you hand them over."

"We don't know if we want to stay." Rick stated.

"It's fine, Nicholas." Aaron told him.

"If we were gonna use them, we would have started already." Rick added.

"Let them talk to Deanna first." Aaron told him.

"Who's Deanna?" Abraham asked.

Aaron looked at him, "She knows everything you'd wanna know about this place." Then his eyes were on our leader. "Rick, why don't you start?"

There was the sound of growling from behind us. We all looked to see a walker outside the fence.

"Sasha." Rick said.

She stepped toward it and shot it. The inner fence was closed.

Rick looked at Nicholas, "It's a good thing we're here."

Smirking at the man, Rick started to follow Aaron, the rest of us behind him.

"This is Deanna's home." Aaron told us. "I'll take you in one at a time to meet with her. She likes to meet with the new comers. To hear their story."

"What if we're not willing to share?" I frowned at him.

He smiled, "I know how you feel, Linny. But I'm hoping you'll feel differently when you meet her."

Frowning, I still held tight to Carl, turning him against me, wrapping my arms around him as he did the same.

"Okay." Rick said and handed me Judith.

"Hey, sweet pea." I smiled at her. Rick nodded and moved away from us. "Rick." I said making him stop. He looked back, smiled and nodded at me before he followed Aaron inside.

As soon as the door was shut, I kept standing there, staring at the door. I wasn't sure what I was hoping would happen but I stared none the less. When Carl finally pulled away from me, I stepped off the curb, taking a look at the house my man had just entered. It was safe to say that it was extravagant. It was a very big and impressive home. There was a large front porch and was two stories high. This was the type of home that rich people lived in. I imagined how fancy it smelled inside. How many belongings they had. I was already envious of them. Whoever this Deanna was. Whoever her family was. They had been living the high life while the rest of us were dying. We were slowly being starved to death. Dehydrated and sleep deprived. We were _dying_ and there were people who were living like this. I wanted to blame it on dumb luck but they had to have brains to go along with it. They'd been surviving. They had to have brains in order to survive this long like this. There had to be more too it.

Taking in as much as I could, I finally turned away, taking a deep breath as I paced up and down the curb. Shaking my head, what we were seeing was almost impossible to believe. This was a neighborhood. This was a residential neighborhood that had survived a world that was mostly dead. Within these walls people were living a normal life.

"This isn't possible." I whispered to myself as I tried to wrap my head around what I was seeing. "Not anymore." Looking at Judith, bouncing her on my hip, I bit my lip to attempt not to cry. "I don't know what to believe." I told her. "This is a lot."

"You doing okay?" Maggie asked me, making me jump. "Sorry." She smiled before she repeated, "You okay?"

I nodded, "Sure."

"What are you thinking?" She asked next.

"I'm thinking that this is impossible." I replied. "This is impossible, Maggie. People don't get to live like this anymore. And the fact that these people do and we've been out there dying…" I paused, shaking my head. "I am unsure. I am both terrified and excited to see what this place has to offer our family." I told her honestly.

"It'll be worth it." Aaron told me.

I nodded at him, "I hope so. Otherwise we'll be coming for you."

He faltered, forcing the smile to stay on his face, "Well, when you put it that way…"

"You'll be fine." I smiled at him. He look relieved, laughing lightly. "I like you." I told him. "No matter how this pans out. You did your part."

He nodded, "I believe in this place. We need you here."

"Why?" I frowned at him.

He looked around before he stepped closer to me. "We're not fighters. Most of us have never been out there. We haven't seen what you've seen or done the things you've done. We haven't had to survive the way you've survived. In the end it's that lack of knowledge that is going to get us killed. We need you to help teach us to survive. We can be the future. We just – we need help in order to see it happen."

Keeping his eyes for a long moment, I smiled and nodded, "We'll see."

"She's beautiful." Aaron smiled as he touched Judith's hand. "Tell me about her."

Smiling wider, I couldn't help but feel calm and safe with him. It was nice. Telling him about Judith – only the good parts – we were still talking when the door opened and Rick came out. He frowned at Aaron as he stepped toward us, his arm moving around my waist as he put his hand against his daughter's back. Looking up at him, I wasn't sure what he was thinking.

"I was just seeing how things were going." Aaron told him. You could hear the uncertainty in his voice. "You know – with Deanna."

"It's going fine." Rick replied, as he just stared at him.

"I'm going to go – you know – stand over there." Aaron smiled at him before he looked at me. "It was nice talking with you."

"You, too." I told him. Watching him walk away until he was out of earshot, I looked up at Rick, rubbing his side, "You okay?" He nodded, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Baby." I whispered to him, hugging his shoulder to me.

"Yeah." He said and nodded at me.

"Do I dare ask for a kiss?" I smiled up at him.

He smirked at me, "Later."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Caroline." Aaron said gently, making me look at him. "You're next."

Rick sighed and took his daughter from my arms. "It'll be okay."

"I know." I smiled up at him. Moving to Aaron, he lead me up the stairs. "Why am I next?"

"You're co-leader." He smiled.

I laughed, "I think I already said 'no' to that."

"Doesn't mean it's not true." He told me, opening the door. "Just around the corner to the right." He told me.

Nodding at him, I put my hand against his arm as I stepped into the house. Yup. It smelled as fancy as I thought it would. Holding myself high, I rounded the corner, crossing my arms as I stood in the doorway to a study. A woman was standing in the middle of the room. She was middle-aged, was short with auburn hair, and skin that was slightly wrinkled. She looked wise and the smile on her face seemed genuine. Though she could also be full of bullshit. I guess I was going to find out.

"Hello, Caroline." She said gently. Her voice was strong and yet kind.

"Hello, Deanna." I smiled at her.

"Care to take a seat?" She asked motioning to an arm chair. "And would it be okay if I filmed our meeting?" I stayed where I was, unsure about stepping into the room. If something happened I wouldn't have as many exits. "I can understand that you might be unsure about all of this. A new place. New people. But I can assure you that you are perfectly safe."

Slowly stepping forward, I stood behind the chair, "Can I just stand?"

"Of course." She said moving behind the couch. She turned on the camera and came back around, sitting on the couch. "How long were you out there?" She asked.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I leaned over on the back of the chair. "Since the beginning."

"And what did you do before?" She asked. I just looked at her for a long moment. "I'm not looking for information to use against you. I simply want to know a little about the people we let into our community."

Sighing, I moved around the chair, sitting on the edge of it, resting my forearms on top of my knees. "I worked as a veterinary technician in Atlanta."

"Were you ever with any other groups?" She asked next.

"I was with another community for little over a month." I told her. "It wasn't a good place. I met Rick and his people during that time. I chose them and have been with them ever since."

"When was that?" She asked.

Scoffing, I leaned back in the chair, crossing my legs, resting my arms along the arms of the chair. "Are these real questions or are you just fishing for something in particular? What do you really want to know, Deanna?"

She just smiled at me, "In this moment I really want to know about you."

"Knowing me is knowing Rick and our family." I stated.

"Rick got very quiet when I asked about you." She smiled.

I froze, meeting her eyes, not sure what reaction she was expecting from me. "Rick has more reasons than anyone to not want to share too much."

"Sounds like you do, too." She stated.

"You don't know me."

"You get defensive quickly." She smiled, leaning toward me.

I did the same, rubbing my hands together, "Listen, I want this to work. I've seen and done things you can never imagine. There was a time where I considered myself a bad person and never wanted to be trusted or let in. I didn't want to be with people."

"Why?" She asked.

"Because loss does that to people." I frowned at her. "And don't ask about what I lost because it's none of your damn business." I added with disdain.

"I wasn't going to." She smiled.

I bowed my head, still rubbing my hands together, "Good."

"Are you and Rick together?" She asked.

"Did you ask him that?" I countered.

"I did." She smiled. "It was the only time I saw a genuine smile from him."

I smiled, "But I bet he didn't say anything."

She laughed lightly, "No, he did not."

Grinning, I shook my head, "Yes. Rick and I are together."

"You can't be too bad if you won a man like him over."

"It's a long personal story." I stated.

"So you've been with him for a while."

"With his group, yes. The relationship we have is relatively new."

"What's relatively new?" She asked.

"Why does the length of our relationship matter to you?" I shot at her.

"Just curious." She smiled.

I looked at her and smiled, "It's been a month. Give or take a day or two." She just grinned at me. "What?" I grinned back at her.

"The puppy love stage is always the most exciting." She replied.

Laughing, I shook my head at her, "We've been on the run since we made it official. We haven't had a lot of time to be in any stage."

She nodded at me, "You're here now, Caroline. You get to go through all the stages in a place that is safe and where you are most welcome."

Smiling at her, I couldn't help but trust her. Not only did she seem to be trustworthy, but she had just told me something I had been longing to hear. I was so ready to just be with him. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to help raise his children. I wanted him and if we were here I could be with him without all the fear and blood and running and…everything else that came with being on the run.

"Thank you." I told her.

"Can I ask you a few more questions?"

"Of course."

"What do you want out of this place?"

"I want to feel safe. I want the security that Aaron said this place was about. I want to find a sense of normalcy with my family and finally find purpose other than just survival." I replied. "I want to watch those two kids grow up in a safe environment and watch us all flourish. I want to help repopulate the world with that amazing man out there." I grinned at her, getting her to laugh a little. "I want to not worry about my next meal. I want to know that the idea of safety is real in a community that works together to make this world the best it can possibly be." I paused, taking a slow deep breath. "Aaron made it sound attainable here. That's what I want."

She just grinned at me, "I want all that for you as well."

"Thank you."

"What can you offer us in return?"

"I'm good at hunting. I am skilled with knives and guns. I'm a good shot. And as a vet tech I know things when it comes to tending wounds and dealing with infection and helping with swelling and pain. I can do sutures and wraps. I can be an asset. And I'm hoping there's a dog or two around here for me to help."

She nodded, "There is."

"Yay." I smiled at her.

"I think you are already an asset."

Smiling, I just couldn't seem to stop, only then it did fade and she frowned at me. "I just want you to know that Rick is an amazing man and an amazing father. We're all alive because of him. He has his ups and downs but at the end of the day he's who I trust most. I'll support him in everything, even if I don't agree. So I do want you to know that whatever you do to him, whatever befalls him, comes with me too. I'll defend him with my last breath. I'll stand with him until the end. I need you to know and realize that."

She nodded at me, "I understand, Caroline."

"Good." I told her. "Because I am a pretty happy person. But if you mess with my family I will bring all the levels of hell down on your head." My tone turned dark and serious. Making sure she heard every word.

She smiled at me, "I'd expect nothing less."

"Then we'll get along just fine." I smiled at her, my tone light again.

She just looked at me again before she stood. "I think we're done here."

"Okay." I said doing the same.

"It was nice to meet you, Caroline." She said holding out her hand.

I took it, "You as well, Deanna. And you can call me Linny."

She just shrugged a little, "I think I like Caroline better. It's a beautiful name."

Laughing, I nodded, "Thank you. And whatever you feel comfortable with." Going to the door, I stopped and turned back to her, "It do realize that I didn't ask a damn thing about this community. You asked what I wanted out of this place but I – I didn't ask anything _actually_ about it."

She just smiled, "Rick can fill you in."

"Okay." I smiled.

Turning again, I let myself out, all eyes immediately looking up at me. Going down the stairs, Rick was there a second later, followed by everyone else.

"What?" I asked them.

"You were in there a while." Rick stated.

"Felt like five minutes." I replied.

"It was longer."

"Not any longer than you." I smiled.

"Yeah you were." Carol, Maggie, and Daryl all said together.

Laughing, I nodded, "Fair enough. But you all know how I can get a little wordy."

"One of the things we love about ya." Daryl smirked and wrapped his arm around me.

"Ha-ha." I smiled doing the same. "You're lucky I love you."

"Daryl." Aaron called.

We all looked at him, knowing it was time. Nodding, I smiled up at him, "Go get 'em, Tiger."

"Yeah." He said and momentarily buried his face in my hair before he walked away.

"It's not so bad." I called after him.

He just frowned at me over his shoulder. Smiling wider, I just shrugged at him. After him it was Glenn. Then Maggie. Carol. Sasha. One by one our family was interrogated in hopes of Deanna accepting us into her community. Honestly, it was a brilliant way to run a community. If you let just anyone in there was a good chance that someone would bring it down. Looking at Rick, I knew that he would do anything for our family. No matter the cost.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him as we waited.

He was bouncing Judith in his arms, "I'm thinking that I'm not sure."

"I'm sure, Rick." I replied. "I really do think that this might be the answer to all our prayers."

"You still pray?" He asked.

I nodded at him, "Every day. Even if no one's listening."

He sighed, "No one's listening."

My stomach sank at that. We were still alive and I had to believe that there was some higher power to everything. Even if some of us died. The ones that were left were left for a reason. We were fighters and yet we were still human. Something led us here and we were going to have a life like we used to. It might be hard but we could do it. We just had to believe. I needed Rick to believe.

When the last of us had gone in and come out, there was a sense of accomplishment. None of us seemed any worse for wear so whatever she was saying to them wasn't enough to spook them. A good sign. A very good sign. The only one seemed remoting unsure of things was Rick. It would take time but I knew he would come around. I'd help him.

"Alright." Deanna said coming out as well. "Let's move next door to the armory. We do not allow anyone carrying with the walls."

That made me nervous but we all followed her. There was a heavyset woman there with a kind face and glasses, looking awfully uneasy about us being there. Staying close to Rick, he was at the front of the group, watching with wary eyes as she pushed a cart toward us.

"They are still your guns." Deanna told us. "You can check them out whenever you go beyond the wall. But inside here, we store them for safety."

Rick looked at me. Smiling at me, I pulled my gun out and put it on the cart. I kept my knife in the sheath at my side and no one said anything to me. Other than that I'd been unlucky with how much weaponry I had. But I was more than capable of defending myself with a knife versus a gun.

Rick followed next and then everyone else stepped up and started to empty their pockets, pulling the guns from their shoulders and put them on the cart. They were ours and I hoped that that still meant something. I didn't want anyone else checking out our weapons just because we weren't using them. Not to mention that there appeared to be plenty of guns in there.

Watching the others, everyone looked okay with what was happening. When it came to Carol, I couldn't help was watch closely as she emptied her load. She was acting weird. It was like she had reverted to the simple housewife that she used to be. I'd never seen that side of her but right now that was all I was seeing. I wanted to say something but Rick nudged my arm and I looked up at him. Erasing the look from my face I just lowered my gaze.

"Hey." Aaron said stepping up to us. "Come with me." He smiled.

Rick and I looked at him before we followed, Carl coming as well, my eyes finding Judith in Carol's arms. No longer worried about her, I paid attention to where we were going, frowning as Aaron stopped in front of two houses. The left one was blue and the right was cream colored. The blue looked bigger and nicer. Both had a nice yard and were big enough to house our people.

"They're yours." Aaron told us.

"Both of 'em?" Rick asked.

Aaron nodded, "At your disposal. I'd call dibs on that one." He pointed at the blue one. My face hurt from the grin that was on it. "It's got more curb appeal." There were no words for this. Rick looked skeptical. "Listen, I know you're still feeling us out, but I'm glad you came. Anyway, Deanna's asked everyone to give you your space so they aren't all coming at you at once. Take your time. Explore. You need anything, you call me. I don't – we don't have phones. I – I meant…I'm four houses down." He said and started to walk away.

"Thank you." Carl told him.

"So…" Aaron said and kept walking.

Jogging after him, I gently gripped his arm. He turned toward me and I swiftly wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." He said hugging me tightly.

"Welcome to the family." I grinned and was racing back to Rick, launching myself at him, shrieking with excitement.

I looked at Carl and then was racing up the stairs. I was in awe as I walked down the porch. There were three doors to it. The front door, another side door, and then a set of patio doors. Who needed this many doors? At the same time I could already see us coming and going as a warm breeze swept through the house. Going back to the main one, Rick was already walking through, Carl behind him as I gripped his shoulders.

"This is outstanding." I grinned.

The entryway was small with a bench. There was still plenty of room for shoes and jackets. Right now there were empty picture frames on the bench. Touching them, I could see my family's smiling faces in them. Moving forward, I took in the open floor plan, the living room opening up to us on the left with a couch. There was a coffee table and a fireplace.

I could hardly breathe with how surreal this felt.

It was fully decorated with lamps and artwork on the walls. There was a nice floor rug that covered the beautiful hardwood floors. Then we were moving into the dining room and then the kitchen. There was a big island in the center of it with a small sink built in. Carl stepped up to it, turning on the water. It worked. Grinning, I spun and jumped, dancing around the kitchen, laughing as I turned back to Rick. He was grinning at me.

"This is it, baby." I told him. "This is our home. We have a home." He nodded, taking my head in his hands. "I know you're still unsure, but seriously, baby, this is amazing."

"It is." He told me.

Then I was around him. "A bathroom." I said looked at the full bath. "A shower. A toilet." I went on, flushing it. "No more leaves." I grinned and laughed.

Carl moved upstairs and I swiftly followed him. There was a room to the left and right and then at least one more down the hall. Maybe a fourth. Carl opened one and it was small but still more space than we'd have to ourselves in a while.

"This one is totally yours." I told Carl, shoving him in and shut the door on him.

Going to the next one, it was huge with multiple dressers and a big bed. Stepping inside, I touched the bed, grinning. Looking around there was even an attached bath, making me laugh with excitement. I was literally mesmerized by this place. Then I heard the shower downstairs. Rick. I wanted nothing more than to join him, but at the same time I wanted to see this place.

Our home.

Home.

Moving down the hall there was another bedroom and another full bath. Not to mention a linen closet. It was already more than I'd ever had. Going back downstairs, I looked in every door, finding a basement. Going down, there were two more bedrooms and another half bath.

"This place is huge." I told myself. "Babe!" I yelled as I went back upstairs. Letting myself into the bathroom, I started to undress. "Baby, this place is fucking gorgeous. And huge! If the other house is even half this size there is plenty of room for the whole family. Maybe we'll even get another house. I mean, there is 15 of us."

In the next second I was yanked off my feet and into the shower, shrieking before I was pinned against his chest. "Just shut up and kiss me."

Laughing, I didn't hesitate to press my lips against his, kissing him passionately. Then his hand was between my legs and I was moaning, my breath shuttering as I opened my mouth against his. His lips moved to my neck, making me lean further into him. He pressed me against the shower wall, his fingers making me quiver. His lips found mine again, supporting me as I climaxed, my head spinning. The happiness that was flowing through me was untouchable.

Meeting his eyes, I grinned at him, rubbing the line of his goin, feeling his hardened penis. "My turn."

He grinned as I trailed my lips down his body as I lowered myself to my knees. Taking him into my mouth, I grinned as I heard him moan. He was still shuddering as I trailed my lips back up his body until his lips were against mine. He grinned as he kissed me with more passion than I had kissed him.

"One room down." I told him. "Several to go."

He laughed and spun me under the water, his lips once again against mine. Running my fingers through his hair, I rubbed myself against him. He felt amazing and I just wished we had started this sooner. There were several fun places in the prison that we could have explored each other in. We finally slowed down, washing each other as I rambled on and on about this house, claiming the room upstairs next to the one I already claimed for Carl. We could pass Judith from one room to the other.

Getting out, I felt a little tainted as I put my dirty bra and underwear back on. Rick did the same, keeping his shirt off as he found shaving supplies in the drawer. I found some as well, happily getting rid of all the unwanted hair on my body. I felt like a whole new woman when I was done. Then I stood behind Rick, watching the transformation from the mountain man to the handsome man that was underneath it. I had never seen him clean shaven before. I thought I was prepared for what I was about to see. I wasn't. All I could do was stare at him. I'd felt his beard and the skin beneath it but I had been imagining it wrong. His chiseled jaw. The way his lips looked without hair surrounding it. The baby face that was hidden under all that hair. I couldn't help my lips parting as my jaw started to drop.

He grinned at me in the mirror, "Like what you see?"

I nodded, "Um – I mean – yeah, baby. I don't mind the beard but… _damn_."

He rinsed his face and turned to me, wrapping his arm around me as he kissed me passionately. It was different kissing him without his beard, laughing as I took his face in my hands, rubbing his now bare skin.

"You're laughing at me?" He smiled.

"No, Rick. I am definitely not laughing at you." I smiled at him. "I am just so fucking happy right now. This is like a dream come true in a world where horror is the norm." He nodded. "You're gonna try, right?" I asked him.

"Yeah, baby. I'm gonna try." He told me, running his thumb across my lips.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you, Linny."

Hearing knocking on the front door, Rick looked at me before slowly moving from the room. I swiftly pulled on my jeans and shirt, following him to see a woman at the door. She was pretty with dirty blond hair. She was holding a basket of basic necessities.

"Hey. I work in the pantry." She told him. "Deanna asked me to bring these over for you and your friends." He took the basket from her. "Hey." She smiled as I came up behind him.

"Thank you. We're just cleaning up." Rick stated.

"I can see that." She smiled. "You still have some shaving cream on your chin. I'm Jessie."

"Rick." He nodded. "And this is Caroline."

"Caroline." She smiled.

"Hi, Jessie." I smiled back.

"You know, I used to be a stylist. And 12 other things. I could give you a cut if you want." She told Rick. "Both of you."

Rick frowned at her, "You don't even know us."

"I can take care of myself." She smiled.

Rick looked at me. I shrugged at him, "You could use a cut."

"If I can than you can." He smirked at me.

I laughed, "And I am more than happy to let her. I like her." He frowned at me. "What? She's a good person. I can tell." I told him.

He nodded, "Alright."

"I'll be right back." Jessie said and disappeared.

Taking the basket to the kitchen, I was grinning, dancing in place as I took it all out. Happy to see more toilet paper and even happier to see the formula and bottles. "This is so amazing."

"You're amazing." He told me, his lips against my neck. "Are you sure you want to cut your hair?"

"Baby, it's super frickin long. I can lose a foot and it'll still be long." I told him.

He groaned and put his face in my neck. Grinning, I brought my hand to the back of his head, pressing a kiss against his forehead. Hearing the door again, I jogged to it, opening it for Jessie.

"Thank you for your offer. It's been so long I can't help but be overly excited about it." I told her as I followed her into the kitchen.

"You're welcome." She replied. "I gotta admit that it's nice to have a new woman around." She added. "Someone who isn't a housewife."

"Yeah, I'm definitely not that." I grinned at her.

"Okay, you first." She told me. Sitting in a chair, she combed her fingers through my wet hair. "How much would you like cut off?" She asked.

"How about just above my shoulder blades. Not too short. Not too long." I replied.

"Sounds good to me." She smiled.

"And layers!" I said excitedly. "I used to always layer it. All choppy like."

"Even better." She replied, feeding off of my excitement.

Grinning at Rick, I held still as she started to cut my hair. It felt so good to feel such a normal act as getting my hair cut. I shut my eyes, relishing the feeling. She might be a stranger, but if we were going to stay than she was just as much a part of the family as everyone else. She was putting herself out there for the new comers and I was going to accept her hospitality with open arms. She scrunched and cut, the silence not bothering me at all.

"So what did you do before all of this?" She asked.

"I worked as a vet tech in Atlanta."

"That sounds fun."

"It was. I loved it."

"There's a black lab, Cuppy, that Robbie owns. He walks him three times a day." She told me. "I'm sure he'd love you to give him a once over. He cut his paw a week or so ago. Pete fixed him up but animals really aren't his expertise."

"Like humans aren't mine." I smiled and laughed. "But I'd absolutely love to take a look at him. It's been a while since I've touched a dog. I started this new world with one." I told her. "He was a big beautiful German Shepard. His name was Mozzie. He was the best friend I could have ever asked for."

"What happened?" She asked.

"He died in a fire." I told her.

She paused, "I'm so sorry."

"It was a long time ago." I replied with a light tone. "And I've never come across another dog that wasn't savage from being out there too long. It doesn't just happen to people."

She cut my bangs and then pulled the towel from around me. Going to the bathroom, I looked at my reflection, grinning at the lightness of it. She re-layered it, my bangs the perfect length. Rushing back out to her, I threw my arms around her.

"Thank you." I told her.

She laughed, "You're welcome."

Turning to Rick, I took his head in my hands and kissed him. "Your turn."

He grinned and sat down, "Your excitement might be contagious."

"Good." I told him. "Because when we're done here, we're definitely going to go have a look around."

"You can go without me if you'd like."

"Shut up." I told him with furrowed brows. He just smiled at me. "I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Your kids are beautiful." She smiled at me.

"Thank you." I replied, not bothering to correct her.

"I have two boys, Ron and Sam." Jessie told us. "Ron's my oldest boy. He's about your son's age. I could introduce them. If that's okay with you and Caroline."

"No, that'd be – that'd be great." Rick replied.

"Good." She smiled.

"Electricity, showers, haircuts – I never thought I'd see those again." Rick stated.

"Come on. Haircuts were never going away." She teased. "It's okay if you're not okay with this yet." She added, running her fingers through his hair. "That's better."

"Thank you." He said and rubbed the back of his head.

"Really, Jessie, thank you." I added.

"You're welcome." She smiled. "I'll let you keep settling in."

I walked her out and turned to see Rick gone. Going to the bathroom, I smiled, crossing my arms as I leaned against the doorframe. He was taking himself in. He looked pretty damn amazing. I was a little bit shocked at his transformation, almost forgetting the stage between what he looked like this morning and what he looked like now. He was…everything.

He did a double-take as he looked at me, "What?"

"I'm just kind of in love with you." I told him softly.

He smiled and stepped up to me, gently taking my face in his hands as he kissed me. It was slow at first, deepening it as he slid his hand down and around to my lower back, pulling me tightly against him. Smiling, I gently rubbed his cheek with the back of my fingers.

"I love you, too." He told him.

Then the door was open and our family was coming in, checking everything out. Grinning at Rick, I turned and moved toward the door. Stepping out onto the porch, Daryl was sitting on the steps, cleaning the possum.

"Daryl." I frowned at him.

"What?" He asked.

I sighed, "These are our brand new steps and you're making a mess." He looked up at me with confusion. "This is home now. We need to take care of it."

He looked at Rick before me again, "I'll clean it up."

"Thank you." I said with slight annoyance.

He just grinned and shook his head. "Not even a day and you're already falling into this life."

"We've earned it, Daryl." I replied. "We wanted this. We need this."

"Yeah, yeah." He said pulling skin from the possum.

Sighing, I moved down the stairs, "Men."

"Women." Daryl shot back at me.

Turning, I grinned at him, seeing Rick looking a little uneasy, "What?" Then Carl was down the stairs with me. "Unlike you, we need to look around." I told him, putting my arm on top of Carl's shoulders. "We'll be back in a bit." He just nodded at me. I grinned at Carl. "Ready?"

"Ready." He grinned.

Then we were running down the road, taking in the neighborhood. It was the typical neighborhood with the typical neighborhood sounds. It was so surreal. The grass was cut. The houses and windows were clean. There were the sounds that anyone could expect to hear coming from any normal house. This was…insanely normal.

People were walking in and out of houses and down roads. They were laughing and talking as if there was nothing in the world to worry about. There was the sound of a dog barking, making me want to be the creepy person who seeks it out. Instead, we found ourselves back at Deanna's, looking at the garage that acted at the pantry.

"Hello."

"Hi, Olivia." I smiled at the woman from before.

The armory was attached to the pantry and she was in charge of keeping track of everything. That was all I knew, but I wandered in, looking at the sheet on the clipboard that was hanging at the entrance. Paging through it, they actually kept a really nice log of everything. Putting it back, I moved to the shelves, looking at all the various goods they had, smiling at several of it. A lot of it was the same as what was in the RV. Then I moved to the freezers where there was meat and chocolate and even ice cream.

"This place is amazing." I said softly as I took another loop.

"Mom!" Carl called.

"What, sweetie?" I said and turned toward him. He was walking from the pantry. "Hey, wait up!" I called after him.

"Caroline." Olivia smiled.

"I gotta get my kid." I smiled at her.

"Here." She smiled and tossed me a rucksack.

I caught it, surprised at its weight, "What's this?"

"We know what it's like to be a girl. Jessie stopped by and thought it would be nice. Deanna had already talked to me. As a nice gesture."

"Are you giving these to all the girls?" I smirked.

She smirked, "We're supplying you all with everything you could possibly need."

"So why do I get a bag?" I offered.

"Aaron mentioned something about –"

I swiftly held my hand up, interrupting her, "If you mention something about being co-leader I might just have to freak out on you and I feel like it's a little soon for that." She just smiled at me. "Thought so. But I don't see Rick getting any bags." I told her. She just kept smiling at me. "See you later, Olivia." Stepping out, I looked in both directions. My stomach dropped and my heart started to race. "Carl!" Nothing. "Carl!" I called again. "Get your ass over here!" He appeared around the corner. I pointed at the ground in front of me, "Now."

"Sorry." He told me.

"Just because we're inside the walls and with people who appear to be genuinely good, does not mean you get to just wander off and do whatever you want." I frowned at him.

"Sorry." He repeated. Sighing loudly, I ran my fingers through my hair. "I thought you trusted these people."

"I'm not saying I don't." I replied. "But none of us should be alone right now. We need to stick together until your dad makes his final decision."

He frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that I will still follow his lead. But he's going to try." I replied.

"Do you want to stay?" He asked.

I nodded, unable to suppress a smile, "Very much."

He nodded, "Okay."

"Come here." I smiled and pulled him into me. He wrapped his arms around me, pressing against my chest. "I love you."

"I love you."

"Caroline." Deanna called to me, seeing her walking toward us.

"Hey." I smiled at her.

"May I have a word?" She asked.

Keeping my arms firmly around Carl, I nodded, "Sure."

"He can come." She stated.

I smiled, "Good."

Taking his hand, I picked up the bag. Carl put his arm around my waist following me without complaint. She started to lead me down the road and to a nice home, opening the door into a homemade office space that had then been transformed into the infirmary. There was a nice island, beds, room dividers, IV poles, cupboards with supplies in it, and a couple doors. Otherwise, it looked like nothing else really happened here. I would think the rooms upstairs were there for patients if needed. Though monitoring them would be difficult and there was more than enough room in the main room we were in. There was a tall man there with sandy brown hair. I could tell by the way he was standing that something was off. He turned toward us with a broad smile on his face.

"Hello." He smiled and held his hand out.

"Caroline, this is Pete. He's our local doctor." Deanna told me.

"Hello." I smiled at him, taking his hand.

"It's nice to meet you." He replied. "Deanna tells me that you have medical background as well."

As soon as his breath hit me, I had to hold mine, attempting to keep the smile on my face, "Not quite the same as you but it's something."

"I'm giving you a job." Deanna told me.

I couldn't help but think of Hershel. _Everyone has a job to do_. "And what job is that?"

"You're going to assist him here at the clinic." She replied, clearly happy about this. "Rosita as well but I've given her a couple days to get settled."

"You don't think I wouldn't mind a couple days?" I frowned at her.

"Something tells me you don't like to sit on your hands if you don't have to. You're a hit the ground running kind of person."

"So is she."

"Well, let me put it this way, Pete is a doctor, you are a nurse, Rosita is an assistant."

"Harsh." I told her.

"But true." She smiled.

Nodding, I smiled, turning my attention back to Pete, "I look forward to working with you." He just nodded at me. "Thank you." I smiled at Deanna.

"No, thank you, Caroline." She smiled. "Well, Pete, we'll leave you to it. Expect her tomorrow."

Smiling, we left, Carl moving against my side. "Did you…?"

"Sure did." I told him, gently playing with his hair.

"I think you are going to do some real good here." Deanna smiled at me.

Nodding, I smiled back, "I plan to."

"See you later?" She asked.

"Sure." I replied, waving as she walked away.

Heading back home, I glanced over my shoulder to see Pete watching us. It made me feel very uncomfortable. Gripping Carl tighter, I didn't loosen it until we could see the house; feeling relief knowing that our family was right there within shouting distance.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked.

"I'm gonna take it one step at a time." I smiled at him. "Can't judge a book by its cover, right?"

"Right." He nodded.

"I know you've read some good books that had a shitty cover." I went on.

"And some that were exactly what I expected." He replied, stopping us.

Sighing, I nodded, "Yeah."

"That's what worries me." He stated.

Looking at him, I couldn't help but smile, "When did you get to be so grown up?"

He just smirked at me, "I don't know."

Laughing lightly, we kept moving, going up the stairs when we reached the house. I watched him go inside before moving to the railing, setting the bag at my feet before looking up and down the street as I listened and watched. Jessie and Pete lived on the other side of our second house and I couldn't help but wonder if she was as okay as she seemed. After smelling her husband's breath, I wasn't so sure. A pit forming in my stomach that told me I needed to worry about her. About her boys. It also made me think of Carol. Rick had told me about her past and if something was going on I was completely confident in saying that she wouldn't stand for it. She couldn't. Not after everything she'd been through.

"Hey." Rick said coming up next to me.

"Hey." I replied not looking at him.

He waited a long moment before asking, "What's bothering you?"

"Pete."

"Why?"

"He reeks of alcohol."

He nodded and looked down toward their house. Following his line of sight, Jessie was now standing on her porch with a mug, a small smile on her lips.

"I'm sure she's fine." He finally replied, leaning on the railing.

I laughed lightly, doing the same, "No you don't."

He smiled and nodded, "We don't know enough to pass judgement."

"I know." I told him. "I start helping in the clinic tomorrow." He jerked his head toward me. "I guess I'll keep an eye out for any signs that he's a bad guy." He nodded. "You know I can handle myself."

"I do."

"Have you got your job yet?"

He shook his head, "No. Neither has Michonne."

Sighing, I nodded, "We should all stick together tonight."

"Yeah." He said straightening.

Everyone filtered into the house, settling in in the living room. I'd gone upstairs taking the bag to the bedroom. Opening it up, there were several rolled up shirts and a pair of jeans. There was also deodorant, a large pick comb, and the best part being the toothbrush and paste that was with them. Taking them out, I ran to the bathroom, consciously not overdoing it as I squeezed the paste onto the brush. It didn't take long for someone to come in and I swiftly yanked Michonne to my side. She laughed as she held up her own brush, starting to brush with me.

"You know, before the end, I was a diligent two brushes a day kind of person." I told her, my mouth lathered with paste.

"I was three." She smirked at me.

Laughing, I nodded, slowly brushing, feeling like a whole new person. We were clean. Our teeth were clean. We had a roof over our heads. This was it. This was what we had been waiting for since the world fell apart.

I finished long before Michonne, going back downstairs to where everyone was. Walking to where Judith was in a playpen, I couldn't help the happiness that was radiating off of me. Feeling hands on my hips, I leaned against Rick, shutting my eyes as he pressed his lips into my hair. Looking at Maggie, she was smelling the clean blankets as she helped get everyone a spot for the night. Turning in Rick's arm, I kissed him before he could stop me, moving to where Maggie was, wrapping my arm around her as I rested my head against her shoulder.

"We have a home." I whispered to her.

She grinned at me, "We do."

"How long was I in there for?" Michonne asked as she came back in.

"20 minutes." Rick smirked at her.

"God, I could not stop brushing." She stated. Smiling at her, she was staring at Rick. Most had already seen his new look. "Huh. I've never – I've never seen your face like that."

"That's what I felt before and after."

Laughing, I gently tossed a blanket to where Rosita was sitting on the floor, "I almost miss the beard."

"Look…I get why we're playing it safe. We should." Michonne told us. "I just – I have a good feeling about this place."

"Well, I hope you're right." Rick told her.

Michonne looked at him sadly, "Yeah. Me, too."

There was a knock on the door and you could feel everyone go on edge. Looking at Rick, I moved toward the door only to have him grip my arm, moving in front of me. I sighed but he nodded at me, holding up his hand as he opened the door. It was Deanna.

"Rick, I – wow." She said as she took in his face. He simply grunted at her. "I didn't know what was under there." He smirked and I couldn't help but laugh. I was sure he was already sick of hearing that. "Listen, I don't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling." He stepped past the entryway and her eyes moved to the rest of our family. "Oh, my. Staying together. Smart."

"No one said we couldn't." He told her with slight defensiveness.

"You said you're a family. That's what you said. Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don't you think?"

"Everybody said you gave them jobs."

"Mm-hmm. Yeah. Part of this place. Looks like the communists won after all." She told him.

He smiled, "Well, you didn't give me one."

"I have. I just haven't told you yet." She told him. "Same as Michonne. I'm closing in on something for Sasha. And I'm just trying to figure Mr. Dixon out, but I will. You look good."

She looked from one of us to the next before she left. It took a few minutes after she left for everyone to start to settle down and start to fall asleep. One by one, the room got quieter and quieter. I was sitting against the wall, able to see all of them. Rick was standing with me before he went into the kitchen. When he remained silent, I stood and followed him, seeing him holding a knife.

Smiling, I walked up to him, putting my hand over his, "You don't need that."

"Just in case."

"Baby, nothing bad is going to happen. We're safe here. Deanna seems genuine and I truly think we can trust her."

"What if we can't?" He asked.

"Then we'll kill her and take over this place." I smirked at him.

He nodded at me, "Yeah."

"I was kidding." I told him, now slightly concerned. "Rick." I frowned.

"I want to be prepared for every scenario."

"That isn't one of them." I shot at him as quietly as I could muster. "These are good people. Aaron is a good person. We don't get welcomed in and then slaughter everyone because we might not agree with everything that's going on." He nodded at me. "Like you said, we don't know enough yet. You need to promise me that you're going to try to give this place a chance."

He met my eyes, "I promise, Caroline."

"Good." I said but wasn't convinced. "Don't make me do something that I don't want to do."

"Like what?" He smirked, setting the knife on the counter as he snaked his arm around me. "Are you going to move against me?"

"No." I replied, picking it up and slid it back where it belonged. "But I will stop you from doing something stupid. I will protect you. Not only you. I will protect our family from something horrible happening because one or more of us can't wrap our heads around this place. We need to make this work, baby. Plain and simple. But a lot of that falls on you. You are our leader and we will fall in line but…"

"But?"

I sighed, "I need you to try, Rick. I really, really, really need you to try."

He nodded, "I will, baby."

"Thank you." I said and kissed him.

"What about Pete?" He asked. "What are you gonna do if he turns out to be the bad guy?"

"I'll do what I have to do." I told him. "Just like always."

He smiled, "I love you."

Smiling, I pressed myself against his chest, bringing my hand to his hair, tangling my fingers in it, "I love you, too."

Going back into the other room, I settled down where I had been; my head against Rick's chest as he laid with me. It took a long time for me to fall asleep, listening to all the new sounds of the world around us. I knew Rick was going to get little to no sleep. But if I could at least keep him with me, then he wouldn't have a choice but to try.


	38. To Be Normal Again

**Hello, all! It's been awhile but this story is still going! I'm completely unsure of how much this story is liked but I'm still going to post. Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated no matter what they say. This is my favorite story to write and I'll keep doing it and I'll keep posting it. I just hope that everyone who is reading it is enjoying it. That's all that really matters. But feel free to drop a line! The excitement is just beginning!**

 **Now onto the next chapter. Alexandria is bound to be exciting!**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirty-eight: To Be Normal Again**

When I woke up, for a second I forgot where I was, shooting up and looking around the room. The sun was up and at least half of us were gone. Judith was standing in her playpen, making soft noises as she smiled at me. Smiling back, I stood and moved to her, picking her up as she gripped fistfuls of my hair, attempting to put it in her mouth.

"I don't think so." I told her, getting her to grunt at me. Laughing, I moved to the kitchen, opening up the cupboard where I'd put the formula and bottles. "Let's get you fed first."

"I can do that." Carol told me as she came in.

I smiled at her, "I'm more than happy to do it."

"Just thought you might be eager to get moving."

"No." I told her. "Not really. We haven't had to worry about jobs for a while and now we'll have start new routines."

She nodded, "How you holding up?"

"I'm good." I smiled. "I think." I added, tilting my head. "I mean. I am completely for this place and what it has to offer."

She slowly came to my side, "You're not worried about that fact that they have no idea what they're doing? They have no idea what the world is like. They live in a fantasy bubble and at some point it is going to burst."

"Isn't that why Aaron brought us here?" I asked. "And I think us being here will be what pops their bubble. They'll see. We'll teach them."

"Don't you think Rick and you would be better leaders for this place?"

"Why does everyone assume I want to lead at all? I'm not a leader."

"You are." She smiled matter-of-factly. "You've been leading a lot longer than you think."

I scoffed and shook my head at her, starting to shake the bottle. Judith was looking up at me from where she was sitting on the counter in front of me. "What are you looking at?" I shot at her. She just shrieked and bounced a little, clapping her hands together. Laughing, I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I don't want that kind of responsibility, Carol. You and Rick and Daryl appear to have a little co-leadership role thing going on. I'll follow you guys. Not me."

"You will." She stated. "You're true to yourself and you will always do what you think is best. Even if that goes against Rick."

"Where is he?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Upstairs, I think."

I nodded, "Okay."

Feeding my kid, I took her upstairs with clean clothes for the both of us tucked under my arm. Going into the bathroom, I shut the door, stripping us both down before I took her into the shower with me. It was large enough that she could just sit and splash around on one end while I cleaned up in the other. Then I knelt and scrubbed her clean, blowing raspberries into her stomach to make her shriek and kick. Her hair was getting long and I couldn't believe how fast she was growing. It wasn't fair. She had been so small and squishy when I met her. She was still squishy but the power of her kicks was nearly enough to give me a bloody lip.

Getting out, I dried us off, wrapping a towel around my hair as I brushed my teeth. She watched me, her little hands running along my skin as she entertained herself. As soon as I was done, I got us both dressed, feeling like I was fucking royalty in matching red underwear and bra, jeans, and a black t-shirt. Dressing Judith in a white onesie, followed by blue cotton pants and a purple cotton shirt. She looked adorable. Taking the towel from my head, I combed it out, braiding it over my shoulder. Picking her back up, I headed downstairs, my nose immediately attracted to the scents coming from the kitchen.

"Carol." I said airily as I saw the spread on the island.

"It's our first day. We can't go out there without a full stomach." She smiled at me. Nodding, she just stepped up to me, taking Judith from my arms. "Eat something." She ordered.

Nodding, I took a piece of bacon and ate it slowly. It tasted so good I thought I was going to cry. Diving into the eggs and toast and meat and fruit, I devoured far too much, afraid that it might actually come up. Daryl came in and started to eat with me, and then Michonne and Rick appeared doing the same. We all talked and laughed and ate, completely content with the world. How could this place be bad if we were provided food like this?

"I better get going." I told Rick as I stood, shoving the last piece of bacon into my mouth. I wasn't even sorry about it.

"To where?" Daryl asked.

"The infirmary." I replied. "My job is to assist Pete."

"Makes sense." He nodded.

I smiled, pressing a kiss against his cheek, "Yeah." Then I was looking at Rick, "Walk me out?"

Everyone just smiled as he swiftly got to his feet, following me. As soon as we were out of sight of the others, my hand was grabbed and I spun into his chest, laughing as his mouth crashed against mine. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him deeply, wanting to stay in with him. But we'd had our fun. It didn't last for days like I had wanted, but there would be time for that. We just had to get acclimated a little bit more before it could happen.

"Be careful." He told me.

"I will." I smiled. "This will be a whole different experience. Coming home from work and telling you about my day." I told him and laughed lightly.

He smiled and kissed me again, "Have a good day."

Sighing, I stared at him, "I really don't want to leave you."

He laughed lightly, nodding, "Yeah, well, I think we'll survive."

I nodded back at him, "Yeah."

"I don't want you to leave either." He told me.

Smiling, I kissed him again, "See you later."

Leaving, I stopped at the top of the steps, looking down the road. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining. Smiling, I went down the steps and started my short walk to the infirmary. I passed the second house that was ours. Jessie and Pete's were next, crossing the crossroads before moving across the street and stepped up to the infirmary door. Pausing for a moment, I pushed the door open to see Pete sitting at a desk, looking at some papers that were in front of him.

"Morning." I told him happily.

"Morning." He smiled in the same way. "How was your first night?"

"It was alright." I nodded.

He just chuckled, "It's weird, isn't it?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"But this place is worth it, I promise." He smiled as he stood, stepping toward me.

"I sure as hell hope so." I smiled back.

The space was nothing special. There was a medical exam table, a double bed in place of a hospital bed. Shelves were lining the walls that held all the supplies. It was basically just a house made to look like a clinic. There were a few partitions to add a little privacy. The bedrooms were lined with as many beds that would fit comfortably. A lot of bottled water. There was more in it than I thought there would be, but my mind was already racing with way of improving it. It was obvious that a man organized it. Though it gave me instant direction and that was an _amazing_ feeling.

"So, as you can see we do have quite a bit of storage in here. A closet over there that has a bunch of supplies in it. We have several beds and enough equipment to sustain a minor influx of patients." He explained. "It's been just me for a while so I'm sure you'll find that my organization skills are lacking."

"Yeah, well, you're in luck. I tend to be extremely organized and OCD when it comes to work. Home life is a completely different story but we won't get into that." I told him.

He chuckled and nodded, "I'm going over the drug inventory and a wish list. If you want to just look around and see what you'd like to change, have at it. I'd just appreciate a little bit of a heads up before you do too much. It might be a mess but I do know where everything is."

"Do you have an inventory for everything else in here?" I asked.

He smirked at me, "I will admit that I've been more concerned with the meds than anything else."

Smiling, I nodded, "Then I know I won't be bored."

He laughed, dropping his hand onto my shoulder, "I think we're gonna get along just fine."

"I think you're right."

Spending the next several hours going through everything in the infirmary, I wrote down what it was and how much we had of it. I actually was really enjoying myself, feeling very motivated to complete the task at hand. I hadn't even realized how much time had gone by until the door opened and Jessie came in.

"Hey." She smiled, holding two brown paper bags.

"Hey." I grinned at her. "How's it going?"

"Good." She nodded. "Ready for some lunch?" She asked.

"Lunch?" I frowned.

"It's nearly one." She smiled.

Looking at the clock, I was slightly shocked, "Huh. Time flies when you're having fun."

"Are you?"

"I am." I told her honestly.

"She is a Godsend." Pete said as he stepped toward her, leaning in a pressed a kiss to her cheek, "Hey, baby."

"Hey." She replied. "I brought you two lunch."

"Thank you." He smiled.

He went back to his desk and I took the bag she offered and opened it up. There was a PB&J sandwich, carrots, and an apple. "Thank you so much." I smiled at her.

"I know it's nothing special but I had a feeling you might be a little preoccupied." She replied.

I nodded, "I am. But I really like doing stuff like this. Once it's done we'll be far more efficient."

"I kept telling him that this place needed to be organized." She stated as we both took a seat.

"Yeah. Badly. But that's what I'm here for. He may have the brains by being a surgeon but I know a thing or two about running a practice."

"We're lucky to have you." She smiled.

"I'm glad. I don't think I want to be anywhere else. This place is amazing. And to have a job and purpose again? That's more than anyone can ask for in a world like this. None of you are falling apart. You're thriving. Though you all are the luckiest sons a bitches in the world."

"How so?"

"Because you've survived this long." I stated. "You're so lucky that no one has rolled up to your gates and taken this place over. None of you seem like you'd be very good in a fight." Looking at her, she was just smiling at me. "I am so sorry." I told her, feeling horrible. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just – I mean – I –" I tried but was only digging myself a deeper whole.

"It's fine." She said waving it off. "It's not like you're wrong. Aiden and Spencer I think are the most experienced and even they don't really know much."

"Jessie." Pete said from his desk, giving her a hard look.

"I'm just saying that we're better off now that they're here." She told him kindly. He just looked at her, glancing at me before he lowered his gaze. "I should probably go."

"Thank you for lunch." I smiled at her.

"Yeah, we should do dinner sometime." She smiled back.

"Do you have any wine?" I asked.

She nodded, "I do actually."

"Then I am totally there." I grinned and laughed lightly at her.

As soon as she was gone, I felt Pete's eyes on me. Finishing eating as quickly as possible, I disappeared into the closet, continuing to inventory without being in his line of sight. When five o'clock rolled around Pete called out to me, telling me it was time to call it a day. Sighing, actually a little disappointed, I stopped what I was doing, setting it aside and joined him by the door.

"Nice work today." He told me.

I nodded, "It might take me a few days to get everything squared away, but it'll happen."

He chuckled, opening the door for me, "I'm sure it'll look great when you're done."

"I'll write everything out and even make a diagram to make it easier for you to memorize. But as long as you know your alphabet, you should be fine. Though I am grouping certain things together, all the things that is alike. And I've started to write down things we might want to look for on runs."

"Slow down, Caroline." He laughed. "You just got here. It's been one day. Don't go overboard just yet."

"I'm just motivated is all." I said giving him a small smile.

"We've got time." He replied kindly.

Looking up at him, in this moment I thought he was an okay guy. He didn't smell at all like alcohol and he had been nothing but patient with me all day. "I know."

"Good. So, relax a little. It doesn't all fall on your shoulders right now. Let it fall on mine." He told me.

Taking a deep breath, I forced it out as I smiled up at him, "I'm not very good at that. I tend to take care of everyone and everything around me. If I can do it than I will. I don't ask for help when I should and I put everything on my shoulders."

He grinned, looking down at me, "I have a feeling I'm going to like having you around. Things will be a lot less stressful if I can share the weight a little."

"You're gonna feel pretty damn light." I told him and laughed.

"See you tomorrow?" He said when we'd reached his home.

I nodded, "Tomorrow." Walking to mine, I went up the steps and let myself in. "Hello, family!" I called to the house.

"Linny." Maggie said as she got up from the couch. It was obvious that she and Glenn had been taking a moment for themselves.

"Maggie." I smiled as I hugged her tightly.

"How was your day?" She asked me.

"Really good." I nodded. "I think I'm gonna like it a lot there."

"Linny." Rick said as he appeared.

"Baby." I beamed at him. I was in his arms a second later. "Mm, you feel good."

He put his face in my neck, pressing a kiss before he let me go, "You alright? Was Pete…?"

"No." I replied. "It was a good day. I'm still not sure if he's a good guy or not, but he did good today." He nodded. "How was your day?"

"Good." He nodded. "We took in the community for a while."

Smiling, I put my hand against his face, kissing him, "I'm glad."

In the next second arms were around me, making me laugh as I embraced Carl. Everyone slowly started to come back in. Abraham was going to help with construction to make sure the walls were secure. Maggie was going to be working with Deanna. Glenn, Tara, and Noah were to go on runs. Rosita would be joining me. Carol was to cook. Eugene was an engineer. Leaving Rick, Michonne and Daryl's jobs still up in the air. But everyone had something to do and it was going to make life around here quite different.

After enjoying a home cooked meal by Carol's hands, we once again crowded around each other in the living room. We talked about our days and what we had seen and heard and learned. We needed to piece everything together so we could make a final judgment on this place. But I couldn't help but be all for it. No matter what happened, this place needed us. They were ill prepared for – well – anything that came at them. Deanna realized this. Aaron did. The one who didn't was the man I had devoted myself to.

"Baby." He whispered as he came up behind me his arms moving around me as he pressed against my back.

"I love you." I whispered in response. I'd been standing at the window, looking and thinking, while everyone else was drifting to sleep.

He laughed lightly, "I love you, Linny."

"You need to sleep more." I told him. "We have a bed upstairs we should really be using."

He pressed his lips to my neck, trailing them along my shoulder, "I know. But I'm just not ready yet."

"I know, baby. But I think you should trust me and give this place a chance." I replied, bringing my hand up to the back of his neck, turning my face against his.

"You smell amazing." He replied, smiling as he sucked my neck, his tongue warm against my skin, making me shudder.

"Way to change the subject." I told him, though I was more than happy with what he was doing, goosebumps rising on my skin.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked as he tightened his hold on me.

Turning my head, my lips met his, whispering, "Never."

"Ahem." A voice said softly.

We both whipped around, relaxing as we looked at Michonne. Rick pressed his lips into my hair as she joined us. I gently nudged her, "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head, "Deanna hasn't given me a job yet."

"You want one?" Rick asked her.

"Yeah. Do you?"

"That's signing the papers. That's saying yes, this is how it is." He stated.

"Baby." I said softly.

"I know." He replied the same way, his lips against my ear.

"You afraid to do that?" Michonne asked him.

"Are you?"

"No."

"So then why are we all awake?" He asked. He put his lips against my neck. "I'm gonna take a walk."

"Rick." I said following him.

"Just a few minutes." He smiled at me.

"Can I come?" I asked.

He paused at the door, smirking at me, "Is that a real question?"

Grinning, I swiftly moved to him, waving at Michonne before we both slipped outside. The cool air felt amazing, taking a deep breath of it. Rick swiftly took my hand, leading me down the road. Everything was quiet. Still walking, we were nearly to the Monroe house when music started to drift to us. Grinning at Rick, I led him toward the sound, looking at him mischievously. He smiled, gently pulling on my hand. He knew what I wanted and he would never make it easy on me.

"Dance with me, Rick." I told him lustfully.

He sighed, dipping his chin as he smiled at me, "Right now? Right here?"

"Why not?"

"People could be watching."

"Then they'll be jealous." I grinned as I pulled him to me. "What woman wouldn't want a man who is willing to dance with her on a whim in the middle of the street?"

He chuckled softly, "Fine."

"Yeah?" I beamed at him.

He yanked me against his chest, his arm moving around my waist while he took my hand in his other. I was firmly against his chest as he started to dance with me, turning and spinning me to the music that was filtering through the open windows.

"You are kind of amazing, you know that?" I smiled at him, playing with his fingers.

"So are you." He replied.

"We never talk about before." I told him. "Did you dance with Lori in your living room?" I smirked at him.

He nodded, "At the beginning we did. But then as the years went by we stopped dancing. We stopped talking. We just…stopped."

Nodding, I ran my fingers through his hair, "I'm sorry."

"You never had anyone before the end, did you?" He asked.

"No." I replied. "Just after."

"I'm sorry." He told me. "You deserve everything."

I laughed and shook my head, "No, baby, I really don't."

"You were a good person before all of this."

"So were you."

"You're still a good person."

"So are you."

He grinned at me, "I'm never going to win this one, am I?"

"Nope." I grinned, gripping the back of his hair. Kissing him deeply, I pressed my forehead to his. "I want more moments like this, Rick. I want more moments where we're not afraid to have them. I want peace. This place will give us peace."

"Okay." He told me.

"Really?" I asked him.

He nodded, "Okay."

We danced for a little while longer before going back to the house. Letting ourselves back in, we found the area of floor that we'd slept on the night before. Lying down, I felt content as Rick wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tightly against his chest. Hugging his arm to me, I folded my arm underneath my head and fell asleep.

The sun's rays woke me the next morning. Rolling, I sat up, realizing that I was alone in the room. It was weird. Getting to my feet, I stretched from top to bottom, starting to feel annoyed that we weren't utilizing the bed that was upstairs. Even Judith was gone and I looked into the kitchen to see it empty as well.

"Rick?" I called to the empty space. "Michonne? Maggie?"

Nothing.

Sighing, I freshened up before moving toward the infirmary, figuring everyone else was doing whatever it was that they were supposed to be doing. Though I was wondering where the hell my kids were. There was going to have to be a talk later about leaving notes so no one was freaking out about where everyone was.

"Linny!" Carol called to me.

Turning, she was walking toward me with Judith in her stroller. "Thank God." I said putting my hand against my chest before jogging toward them. "I woke up and everyone was gone."

"I told Rick to leave a note." She smiled.

Sighing, I nodded, "Well, he didn't and I was trying very hard not to freak out."

"I guess there's a few things we need to get better at." She smiled.

I squatted in front of my daughter, taking her little hand, smiling at her, "You're the worst offender of them all." Pressing a kiss against her hand before her cheek, nibbling at her neck so she shrieked and laughed. "I'm glad everyone is okay." I told Carol. "I'm gonna head to the infirmary."

"Sounds good." She replied. "I'll do better at over communicating."

"Good." I said and gently nudged her. "Love you."

"Love you." She replied and kept walking.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before walking the rest of the way to the infirmary. Letting myself in, Pete was once again at his desk. I greeted him, waving, before I went to the closet where the door was open and the light was on. Stopping in the doorway, I leaned against it as I crossed my arms.

"Picking up where I left off?" I smiled.

"Morning." Rosita smiled back. "Your system is very straightforward and since I'm to help out too, I thought I'd just jump in. You got pretty far yesterday. You're making me look bad."

Laughing, I leaned my head against the doorframe, "I'm very motivated when it comes to my job."

"I can tell."

"I'll get started in the main room then if you're okay to keep going in here." I told her. "I want to draw out a diagram for it as well. Just let me know when the initial inventory is done. Then I want to reorganize and label everything."

"Overachieve much?" She smiled.

"Are you telling me it's a bad idea?" I countered.

She just smiled for a long moment, "Of course not. I'm just jealous that I hadn't thought of it first."

Laughing, I nodded, "I do like using my brain."

Going back into the main room, I rearranged a few things before pulling a standing table toward me, taking the tray from it and used it as I started to figure out where I wanted everything to go. It was all in my head but trying to make it a reality was something completely different.

Balls of paper were littering the floor when Jessie appeared again with lunch. We talked and laughed and she helped me reorganize my thoughts. She was smart and the fresh eyes were appreciated. Even Rosita added her opinion and before Jessie left, we had a pretty good idea of how it should be set up. Pete had done fine, but he was no designer. He knew medicine like the back of his hand, but the rest of it was a little foreign to him.

We were just talking when there was the sound of yelling from outside. Looking at Rosita, it took all of one second to rush from the room, racing toward the gates where people were starting to gather. Not stopping, I raced to where Daryl was on top of Nicholas.

"Daryl!" I yelled gripping him.

He shoved me, making me land hard on the ground. Then Rick was there, pulling him off. Carl was to me a second later, helping me to my feet. Aiden had a bloody nose from being hit by Glenn, and Nicholas was cowering away from Daryl.

"What the hell?" I said as I looked between all the men. "What's going on?" I asked Glenn. He shook his head at me.

"I want everyone to hear me, okay?" Deanna called to everyone who had gathered. "Rick and his people are part of this community now in all ways as equals. Understood?"

She looked at Aiden, who nodded, "Understood."

"All of you, turn in your weapons. Then you two come talk to me." She told Aiden and Nicholas. Then she was looking at Rick, "I told you I had a job for you. I'd like you to be our constable. That's what you were. That's what you are. And you, too." She said and looked at Michonne, then Rick again. "Will you accept?"

"Okay." He nodded at her.

Michonne looked proud, "Yeah, I'm in."

Then Deanna was smiling at Glenn, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For knocking him on his ass."

He nodded at her before walking away. Maggie was smiling after him. Looking between everyone, I stepped next to Rick. He met my eyes, nodding at me. Nodding back, I put my hand against his side, gently rubbing it. He smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead before he walked away.

The following morning, I sat on the bed, watching Rick watch the uniform in front of him as if something was going to happen. He looked uneasy but this was who he was before the world had ended. This is what he knew and he was good at it. It may not have ended well but it was still a part of who he was. He couldn't ignore it. It was probably the reason he was such a good leader. He'd been leading the people for years.

"Just put it on, baby." I smiled at him.

He smirked and did as he was told. I stood and went to him, helping him button up the shirt. He looked pretty damn official now. Helping him into the jacket, I smoothed it over his shoulder blades and he turned to look at me.

"Well?" He asked opening his arms to me.

"I think you look sexy." I replied and slid my arms between the jacket and his shirt. "I am so turned on right now."

We laughed before he started to kiss me, making me all warm and happy. It ended too soon though and he took my hand as we headed downstairs. All eyes were on him but he simply nodded and moved toward the porch. I stopped in the doorway as he looked at Daryl who was outside. He looked anything but impressed by Rick's decision.

"We good?" Rick asked.

"Yeah." Daryl replied. "You a cop again?"

Rick nodded, "I'm trying it on for size."

Carol came out one of the other doors, "So we're staying?"

"I think we can start sleeping in our own homes. Settle in." Rick replied.

"Yay." I said swiftly wrapping my arms around him from behind. He put his arm across mine.

"If we get comfortable here, we let our guard down – this place is gonna make us weak." Carol stated.

"We won't." I frowned at her. "We know better."

"Carl said that." Rick told her. "But it's not gonna happen. We won't get weak. That's not in us anymore. We'll make it work. And if they can't make it…then we'll just take this place."

"Rick." I said quickly.

He turned and took my face in his hands, "I'm going to take a walk around the perimeter, check things out."

"Baby, please." I said sadly.

He kissed me slow and deep, whispering, "I love you."

"I love you." I whispered back.

Then he was down the steps and swiftly moving from sight. I looked at Daryl who looked about as happy as I did about what Rick had said. I wanted to make it work. But we couldn't simply enter a community and take it over if we didn't agree with them. That made us just as bad as those who we fought to get here. It couldn't be that way anymore. But I knew that once he put his mind to something then that was the way it was going to be. I just had to be extremely passive aggressive to get him to change his mind. I'd do what I had to do to protect our family.


	39. Acclimating

**Chapter Thirty-nine: Acclimating**

Bustling around the kitchen, I had Judith on my hip, trying to make a bottle, cook eggs, and make toast all at the same time. We had split up between the two houses and I honestly didn't think it would make that much of a difference, but here I was, trying to do too much and be a mother to kids that weren't mine and a wife to a man who I wasn't married to. And I wouldn't have it any other way. For all intents and purposes, those two beautiful kids were mine and that amazing man upstairs was more than I could ask for.

"Carl!" I yelled. "Get your ass down here now!" I put Judith in her playpen and she almost instantly started to cry. "I know, sweet pea, but I need both hands." I told her as nicely as I could muster. "Rick!" I yelled. I heard the stairs and both Grimes men came into sight. "It's about damn time." I frowned at them. "Morning, babies."

"Morning." Rick smiled, wrapping his arm around me as he pressed his lips to my neck.

"Morning, Mom." Carl said as he dug into the toast.

I could already feel a routine starting. "Where's Michonne?" I asked next.

"In her room I guess." Rick replied as he took eggs as fast as I could scoop them onto the plate.

"Oh my God, stop." I frowned at him.

"I gotta go." He told me, kissing me quickly.

He shoveled food into his mouth, downing the glass of orange juice I'd squeezed for myself this morning, and then I heard the door as he left. I looked at Carl with a raised brow. He just shrugged at me.

"Do I get any orange juice?" He asked.

Laughing, I squeezed a glass for him, sliding it over as I got myself a glass of milk. As soon as he was done, I sent him to school, leaving just Judith and me in the kitchen. Jessie had been very helpful with filling me in on everything that happened in Alexandria. I couldn't have been more thrilled to learn that they had a school. Carl would still learn about the past while we build a future for him. He deserved that. At the same time, it was almost too much normal all at once. It had been a _long_ time since we'd lived a life this normal. It was honestly terrifying. Taking a deep breath, I looking at my daughter, she still had tears on her cheeks and she was looking at me with a very unhappy expression.

"Oh, stop it." I told her. "This is all new to me. You're gonna have to give me a break." She took in a shuttering breath before she fell on her butt, playing with a few toys that we had for her. "Thank you."

"Caroline!" Carol called as she came through the door.

"Carol!" I called back to her. She came into the kitchen with a smile on her face. "Thank God."

"What?" She smiled. "Can't handle one morning without a little help?"

"Do you know the last time I attempted to make breakfast for a family with an 8 month old on my hip and a man to get off to work and a boy to get off to school because I can tell you that it has been never." I rambled without take a breath. "I have never once in my life attempted anything like I did this morning. Am I expected to do that from now on?" I asked her, dropping my head onto the island.

She laughed and started to rub circles in my back, "I'm sorry I left you here alone. And no, I don't think that this will be expected of you."

"Good because it was exhausting." I told her straightening. "Actually, I'm sure I'll get used to it. But I feel like normal was just thrown at us and it's not normal anymore."

"Oh, Caroline." She said tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, yeah." I smiled at her. "I always have something to say."

"You do." She replied. "But you're still very much loved."

I pulled her into a tight hug, "You are, too."

"Okay, enough with the lovey-dovey stuff. You have to go to work and I'll keep an eye on peanut here."

"Thank you." I said and quickly kissed her cheek. "I'll be home by supper."

Jogging to the infirmary, I found it empty. Going to the supply closet, I couldn't help but double check everything. Rosita had written it all out and it was perfect, but I had to start my day off with something. Then I started to pull everything out into the other room, putting them in piles of like things that were going to be put in the same section. On top of that, I alphabetized them and made sure to label the shelves tediously.

"Morning." Rosita said coming in.

"Morning." I smiled at her.

She took in everything on the beds and tables, "Where can I help?"

"I'm fine for now." I told her.

She scoffed, "Come on, Linny. There has to be something I can help you with. I can't be bored all day."

I turned to her, smiling, "I am a little OCD."

"I've noticed." She smirked at me but her tone wasn't as pleasant as it was.

Sighing, I tried to let go of the reigns a little. I could accept her help. It would be hard. But I had learned that with most things, if I wanted it done right I was better off doing it myself. But I couldn't always be like that. I had to put trust and faith in the people I loved. I had to let go. Something I'd be working on probably for the rest of my life.

"I'm sorry." I told her. "It's not that I don't want help. I just don't know how to ask for it anymore. I've been pretty independent for pretty much forever. I find it hard to trust people."

She smiled, "I know. But you can trust me. I won't let you down."

"I know." I smiled. "Still hard."

"Baby steps." She smiled.

Laughing, I nodded, "Yeah. I'm labeling but if you want to start shelving, it'll get done that much faster."

"Then what will we do?" She smirked.

Breathing hard, my hands were on my hips as I looked around the room. I couldn't help the frown on my face. I didn't know what it was but there was something about this place that was bugging the shit out of me. Turning in a circle, I looked at Rosita.

"I don't know what it is, but this isn't right." I told her.

She nodded, "Yeah."

We'd rearranged the beds, moved the filing cabinets, and adjusted a few other things, only now it just didn't seem right. Sighing, I shrugged and we started to put everything back the way it was. Somewhere in the middle, we managed to find what felt right.

"Whoa." Pete said when he came in about midday. "You two have really gone all out."

"What do you think?" I asked him as I crossed my arms.

He looked around, going to the supply closet before making another circle around the room. He finally nodded, "I like it. It seems like it'll be more efficient."

"Good." I smiled. "That's the plan. If it doesn't seem to be working out then we can always put it back."

"No, no, I think it's gonna work." He said and smiled.

Smiling up at him, he stepped toward me, getting a little too close for comfort. "Good." I repeated and moved closer to Rosita. I was about to make an excuse on why we should be done for the day, but before I could, the door opened and Aaron and Eric came in. "Aaron."

"He's in a lot of pain." He told me.

"He should be healing fine." Pete stated.

Moving to Eric's other side, I nodded toward a bed, "Let's get him on a bed and take a look."

"He's fine." Pete smiled.

"Maybe a repeat x-ray? A new cast? Stronger pain meds?" I frowned at him.

"I haven't been taking any pain meds." Eric admitted.

"Eric." I frowned.

"That's what I keep saying." Aaron said as he met my eyes.

I smirked at him, "Men."

He laughed and nodded, "Stubborn mules."

"You said it."

Laughing, Pete was holding Eric's leg. "We can take the cast off and take a look but I think you just need rest and take some pain meds."

"This was a wasted trip." Eric stated. "No need to take the cast off. I'll just head home."

"We don't have a lot of other things going on today. You might as well let us take the caste off. And then I can practice on you." I smiled at him.

He just looked at me for a long moment before sighing, "Fine."

"Yay!" I exclaimed.

With Pete's help, we removed, checked, and replaced the cast on Eric's ankle. By the time it was done, it was bright pink, doodled on, and we all had been laughing so much there were tears on our cheeks. We had successfully wasted the majority of the day, deciding that it was enough and started to walk each other home.

"Thank you." Eric told me as I helped him onto the couch. "Full service."

"I take my job really seriously." I smiled at him.

Aaron wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest, "Thank you."

Relaxing against him, I hugged him tightly, "You're welcome."

"Alright." He said letting me go, looking a little sheepish. "You better be getting home."

"And if I don't want to?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

"We're just gonna be sitting around since he can't do much." Aaron stated.

I just smiled at them, "Do you guys play scrabble?"

They looked at each other, Aaron replying, "Yes, we do."

I looked at the clock, "We've got time."

Finally walking through the door to my home, I was thoroughly happy, having learned something and having beaten the pants off of Aaron and Eric in scrabble. It took so long that there was only time for one game, but it had been enough.

"Honey, I'm home!" I called to the house.

It took only a second for Carl to come down the stairs, wrapping his arms around me, "Welcome home."

"Thank you." I smiled, squeezing him tightly.

Then Rick was coming down, his hair wet from a recent shower. My eyes were locked onto him as he moved toward me. He didn't stop until I was against his chest, our lips meeting. Laughing lightly, I wrapping my arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"How was your day?" I asked him.

"It was good." He nodded. "How was yours?"

"Good." I smiled. "I learned something at the infirmary and played an excellent game of scrabble with Aaron and Eric. I'm also perfectly on time for dinner. So it has been a very good day."

He smiled, wrapping his arm around me as we moved toward the kitchen, "Can't wait to hear all about it."

I couldn't help the happiness that was radiating off of me. "We can do that now."

"Do what?"

"Talk about each other's days. I have something to tell you because you weren't there. We have jobs and a house and…a _life_."

He nodded and kissed me, "We do."

Talking and laughing over dinner, everyone was there. We all had different stories to tell, each one was music to my ears. This was what a family dinner was supposed to be like. I wanted every night to be like this. Safe. Happy. Together.

"Hey." Glenn said softly as I sat on the swing on the porch.

"Hey." I grinned as he handed me a cup of coffee. "Thank you." I said taking it. "Mmm. Very much, thank you."

"You're welcome, Yoda." He smirked.

Laughing lightly, he started to swing us, "I like it here. I think we can make it work."

I nodded, "I like it here, too." Looking at him, I knew there was something that was bothering him. "How are the runs really going with Aiden and Nicholas?"

He smiled, but was quiet for a long moment. "They really have no idea what they're doing." He finally replied.

"You haven't taken over yet?" I asked.

"I'm trying to be respectful."

Smiling, I nudged him, "You are respectful. You are a good man, Glenn. One of the best."

He laughed lightly, "I try."

"You succeed." I stated.

He met my eyes, "You're a good woman, Caroline."

It was my turn to laugh, "I try."

"You succeed."

Laughing, I shook my head, sighing, "Sometimes I'm not so sure."

"You're a good person." He replied. "You are amazing and smart and resourceful. You know when to fight and when to compromise. You know when to kill and when to let live."

I scoffed, "No, I don't, Glenn. I like to kill first and ask questions later."

He smiled at me, nodding, "You used to be like that. But not anymore. You've come a long way since we met."

I smiled at him, feeling emotion catch, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I kind of love you, you know."

He laughing lightly, "I kind of love you, too."

We talked until his wife and my boyfriend wandered out to see what had happened to us. Rick sat in front of me while Maggie sat on top of the railing in front of us. Bringing my hands to Rick's hair, I massaged his scalp from front to back, continuing the motion until he was starting to drift off.

"Ready for bed?" I asked him softly, running my hands down his chest as I pressed a kiss against his cheek.

He took a sharp intake of breath, nodding, "Yeah. Bed sounds nice."

Smiling, I pressed my lips to his ear, "I can wear you out even further once we're there."

He laughed lightly, bringing his hand up, burying his fingers in my hair, "I love you."

"I love you." I said and kissed him as he turned his face toward mine. Standing, I helped him to his feet, looking at the other pair. "You two should do the same."

They both laughed and watched us go back inside. I just hoped that they did. They were so in love and yet sometimes I just couldn't see it. But every relationship was different. Just because I enjoyed the touching and kissing and everything else, didn't mean everyone else did. Even Rick wasn't a fan of showing too much in public. But they were family. I just wanted to be myself. I really felt like we were able to that here. And I wasn't about to start hiding or changing who I was. Not for my family. Not even for Rick. So far he'd been perfectly happy with me. Something I was going to make sure he continued to be.

Coming morning, I felt lips press against my shoulder, I opened my eyes to see Rick smiling down at me. Smiling, shutting my eyes again, I took a deep breath, not ready to wake up. The night had been amazing and I wasn't ready to leave our happy little bubble just yet. Only then Judith started to cry, making me prop myself up on my forearms and look over my shoulder at her. Looking back at Rick, he gently rubbed my back as he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I'll get her." He said and tipped my head up, kissing me deeply.

Grabbing his pillow, I watched him put boxers and pants on before a white tee, walking over to Judith and picked her up. She kept carrying on, jerking to the side and her head turned, locking on to me. Sighing, I got up, pulling on clothes before stepping up to them. She reached out for me and I took her. She fell hard against my chest, still whimpering but not actively crying anymore. Rick smiled and pressed a kiss against her head, then against my forehead as I cradled her against me.

"She's lucky to have you." He told me.

"I'm lucky to have you." I replied.

He just smiled and kissed me again, pressing against me, sandwiching Judith between us. When he leaned away, she now had a fistful of his shirt in her hand. She leaned toward him and he took her back, now happy in her father's arms. There was a knock on the door, and I moved to it, opening it to see Carl.

"Morning, sweetie." I said wrapping my arm around his shoulders. "Ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah." He replied, wrapping his arm around my waist.

Afterward, Carl was sent off to school, Carol was with Judith and Rick was walking me to the infirmary.

"Rick. Caroline." Deanna called from her home. "Would you please join me for a few minutes? I'd like to go over a few things."

He nodded and looked at me, smiling, we walked toward her, going inside to find Michonne and Maggie were already there as well. Going to Maggie, I smiled, nudging her as I stood next to her.

"I'd like to go over the basic responsibilities that are expected of you now that you've taken your positions. Caroline, I see you've already taken the infirmary under your wing and I am impressed with the changes." She smiled.

"Thank you."

"As for you two," She said looking at Rick and Michonne, "you protect and serve. You patrol, walk the wall, watch out for the kids. If there's a conflict, you solve it. And people will listen to you."

"Because we're wearing windbreakers?" Michonne asked.

I couldn't help but laughing, getting a look from Deanna. "Sorry."

"Because they believe in this." She said to Michonne. "Because I'm telling them to. A police officer used to live here. So we had these jackets and I wanted to make it official. So it's official." She went on, a smile on her face. "There's gonna be a government here one day. That's why I want Maggie working with me. There's gonna be a police force. That's why I want you two to start it. We're going to have a functioning hospital. That's why I want Caroline with Pete. I see a vibrant community here with industry, commerce, civilization. Real lives. It might be horses and mills, but – what?" She asked looking at Rick. Doing the same, I could see the distraction all over his face. "Does that sound like pie in the sky?"

"No." Maggie told her.

Her eyes moved to Michonne, who repeated, "No."

"No." I told her when her eyes fell on me.

Then her eyes were on Rick. It took a long moment for him to respond. "No." He finally said and then he jumped in to work talk. "Can we talk security? We need a constant patrol along the walls. Not just looking for damage, but signs that anyone climbed in from outside. You can move right up the supports. That's what I'd do. People are the real threat now."

Moving outside, I started to move to the infirmary, but Deanna said my name, making me stop. "Walk with us."

"Okay." I smiled, falling in step next to Rick.

We walked the walls and it was clear on Rick's face what he wanted to do. Deanna knew as well. "Rick, I know you think that we should all be armed within the walls. I – I can't do that."

"That's fine." He nodded. "You make these changes, we won't need to."

"Excuse me." Sasha said stepping forward. "I want to volunteer to be one of the lookouts in the clock tower."

"There are no lookouts in the clock tower." Deanna replied.

"What?" Rick and I said together.

"Please tell me you're joking." I frowned at her.

"We saw someone up there earlier." Michonne frowned.

"That was an empty rifle my son Spencer put up there." Deanna told her. "He mans it sometimes, but not often." She took in our shocked expressions. "Look, there hasn't been the need."

"You have one now." I frowned.

"We need a lookout in that tower right now, 24/7." Rick stated.

"It's the only way we'll be able to see if someone's coming at us." Michonne explained.

"Okay, okay, we'll make shifts." Deanna replied.

"I'll take those shifts, as many as possible." Sasha offered.

Deanna looked at her, "Why?"

All eyes were on Sasha now. She wasn't saying anything. Moving to her side, I put my hand on her shoulder, whispering, "It's okay."

"Sasha's one of our best shots. She can do it." Maggie told her.

Deanna kept her eyes on Sasha, "I'm gonna put Spencer up there today. I'll consider you being our primary lookout, but I want something in return." She smiled at her. "Tonight I'm hosting a welcome party for all of you at my home. I want you to be there."

Sasha frowned at her, "Why?"

"Come tonight." Deanna smiled. "Then we'll talk about it."

Sasha glanced up at me. I shrugged at her. She gave the slightest uneasy smile to Deanna before she walked away. Looking at Rick and Michonne, I nodded, touching his arm before I started to head back over to the infirmary. Letting myself inside, I wasn't sure what to think about all of this. They had no idea what was out there or how to protect themselves from it. They had no lookouts. They were living under the impression that nothing bad was going to happen. That was a load of bullshit.

"You seem distracted today." Pete stated as I meticulously cleaned a set of instruments he had used for a minor procedure before I got here.

"I am." I smiled at him.

"You, uh, going to the party tonight?" He asked.

I scoffed, nodding, "Probably."

"It'll be fun to see you outside of your OCD bubble."

I laughed lightly, "I'm not any different than I am when I'm here. Yes, maybe less OCD but still me."

"Still like to be in control."

"Not in control." I shot at him. "I'm more than capable of following. But I will not do anything that I don't believe in. Rick leads our people. Even if we're here."

"They seem to listen to you just at much." He said leaning against the counter I was at, crossing his arms as he looked at me with an expression that made my stomach turn. "Is that because you're with Rick?"

"No." I told him. "And they don't look to me. I simply am known to have an opinion on pretty much everything."

"And what's your opinion on me?" He grinned.

I froze, looking at him with a small smirk. "Jury's still out on that one." I told him. It was too early to be causing rifts.

Managing to waste enough of the day to say I'd put in enough time, I left early, stating that I wanted to get ready for the party tonight. Pete didn't care, and I was more than happy with getting away from him. He was starting to make me feel uneasy about being there. He'd lean a little too close, sometimes asking questions that were too personal. It's one thing to get to know the people you would be working with, but entirely different when it seemed like it was all too personal.

No one was home when I got there, going upstairs and to the drawers that were pretty much empty. A party usually meant you wore something nice and I definitely didn't have anything that made me feel like I looked nice. Making a decision, I changed into jeans, t-shirt, jacket, and boots. Going back downstairs, I jotted a note for Rick, and then made my way to the armory. Letting myself in, I saw Olivia going over some numbers.

"Hey." I smiled. "I need to check my weapons out."

"Okay." She smiled back. "Leaving a little late, aren't you? The party will be starting in a couple hours."

"I know." I smiled. "I'll be back in time."

Putting my gun in the hoister on my right, my knife was firmly around my thigh, and a rifle strap was across my torso. Walking to a car, I opened the door, was about to get in, when I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Maggie!" I exclaimed and shoved her.

"Room for one more?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, of course."

"Be right back." She said and ran to the armory, coming back out with her weapons as well. I already had the car started and facing the gate as I waited for her. "Where to?"

"To find some clothes that we haven't worn fifty times already."

"Good." She said as she buckled. "I had no idea what I was going to wear to this party."

We talked all the way to town, finding the biggest clothing store we could. I wouldn't be surprised if everything that was functional was gone but I hoped there was something a little nicer left behind. Not many could say they had the opportunity to do something like this so I knew we should be grateful. And I was. I really, really was. I knew what we had and I knew that I was going to do everything in my power to make sure we kept it.

"I'm actually surprised by what they have left." Maggie stated as we walked through a clothing store at the end of a shopping mall.

"Apparently no one thought about it when they all took off." I replied.

"I suppose they figured there'd be time for that later." She added.

Stepping over several bodies, I moved toward a wall of sundresses. The world had fallen apart at a good time for warm weather. Not so much for cold, making any jackets and such important when you came across it. Warehouses where clothes were stored were always a bonus for anyone. Though some stores had been winding down with summer and getting ready for fall and winter. But those were usually picked over first, leaving little for anyone who came later.

"Options." Maggie said as she stepped next to me.

"A lot of them." I nodded.

Looking at each other, we both grinned, laughing lightly as we started to pull things down. Rocking out to the music in our heads, we ran through the racks, pulled stuff off walls, trying things on right there in front of each other. By the time we left, we had bags full of clothes. But not only for us but for our family as well. Even a couple bags to give to Olivia for whoever might need something. They had been generous and seemed to have little care packages ready for anyone who came, but we wanted to give back. It was the right thing to do.

As soon as we'd gotten back and dropped off stuff with Olivia – who had been grateful for the offering – we rushed back to our homes. Taking everything upstairs, I wanted to sort it and hand it off to those I'd gotten them for, but there wasn't time. Shoving them in a closet, I grabbed the dress I'd picked, and made my way back downstairs.

"You in a hurry?" Rick asked as he stepped from the kitchen with Judith.

"Yeah." I smiled. "I'm going to get ready with Maggie."

He nodded, "I've hardly seen you today."

"Weird, isn't it?" I smiled with furrowed brows. Rushing to him, I took his face in my hands and kissed him passionately, pressing against him. "I can't wait to see you later. We can talk then."

"As this rate you are going to be late." He smirked.

"I know." I told him. "But it'll be worth it."

"Are you even going to tell me where you were?"

"Were you worried?" I asked him.

"A little." He nodded. "I know what you can do. Doesn't mean I want you out there alone."

"I know, baby." I said kissing him again. "I love you."

"I love you."

"Wear something nice." I smirked, gently pulling on his white tee. I pressed a kiss against Judith's cheek before kissing him once more. "I'll see you soon." He nodded and watched me once again leave. Running down the stairs and next door, I let myself in, nearly running Glenn over in the process. "Sorry." I told him. "Maggie?"

"Upstairs." He said smiling as he pointed. "I've been kicked out."

"No you haven't." I said and kissed his cheek. "Just go next door and help Rick look decent."

He held up the clothes he was holding, "And apparently I have a new outfit."

"Go." I smiled and pushed him out the door.

Rushing upstairs, I let myself into her bedroom, shutting the door as I walked to the master suite. She was already starting to do her hair. Stepping next to her, I pulled mine out of the braid it had been in. It made my hair wavy, making me think that I could get away without doing much with it. Helping to curl hers, she did the same for me despite my saying that it didn't need anything. Then she happily pinned my hair partially up before I pulled a few strands of hers back, pinning it to the side. Standing in front of each other, we just looked and smiled.

"I feel like we're about to go to the prom or something." I told her and laughed.

"I never went." She replied.

"I went to my senior year snowball and prom. I told myself that I had to experience it at least once before it was all over." I told her and I stepped back into the bedroom.

"It was never something I wanted to do." She told me.

We undressed and slipped into the dresses we had gotten. Looking at her, I couldn't help but smile, feeling tears at the surface. It was a beautiful navy blue sleeveless party dress with a lace-appliqued V-neck bodice. I was surprised I knew those words. There was even tiny beading to accent it, spilling over the natural waistline of the skirt. It was figure-fitting, floating away from her hips. I imagined her and Glenn twirling to music, the dress just flowing around them.

"What?" She asked.

I shrugged, "You look amazing."

She smiled and stepped up to me, turning me toward the mirror, "You look pretty amazing yourself."

Looking at my refection, I guess I couldn't tell her she was wrong. My dress was black, a nice soft fabric, sleeveless with wide straps, a high back and a smooth waistband that accentuated my bust just enough. It also had a plunging V-neck and grazed my ankles as it flowed down my sides. It was lightweight and airy. Nothing over the top and yet I felt pretty spectacular.

"Yo!" Abraham called from downstairs. "Are you two nuggets done yet? Rosita and I are headed over to show our miserable faces."

"We'll see you there!" I called back to him.

Turning to Maggie, I pulled out shoes I had grabbed. Both pairs were black with high heels. One pair wrapped up around the ankle and Maggie quickly took them. Laughing, I slipped my feet into the simple black close toed heels, strapping it around my ankle.

"Ready." She told me.

"Ready." I smiled back.

Walking to the stairs, I nearly fell down them, making laughing burst from both of us before we'd even made it out of the house.

"Your boobs look great, by the way." Maggie told me.

"I know." I smiled. "So do yours."

"I know." She said and laughed.

She hooked her arm through mine as we went to the Monroe house, letting ourselves in. There were plenty of people who were all fancied up, though I still felt like we may have been a little overdressed. All eyes seemed to turn toward us and it took all of me not to turn around and leave again. This was not the sort of thing I did often, but at the same time if I was going to do it than I was going to go all out for it.

"Wow." Pete said coming up to us. "You look amazing."

"So does Maggie." I smiled at him. He glanced at her up and down, smirking. "We need a drink." I told him and swiftly moved Maggie around him. "He's a pig." I said softly as I grabbed a beer. She fancied the wine, but I loved beer. "Should we find our men?"

She lifted her glass; we toasted, took a drink, and walked around each other. I saw Judith first, in the arms of a stranger. I knew that I shouldn't be worried but at the same time I wanted to march over there and take her back. She was mine. I knew that. So I left well enough alone.

When I finally spotted Rick, he was wearing jeans still, but a nice button-up and he'd at least made his hair look decent. Grinning, I moved toward him, blushing as he did a double-take, his mouth slightly falling open. When I reached him, he immediately opened his arm to me, sliding his hand across my back as he pulled me tight against his side. I wrapped my arm around his neck, smiling at him as he took me in.

"You look… _amazing_." He told me lustfully.

Grinning, I leaned closer to him, putting my lips against his ear, "So do you."

"You smell amazing." He added as if in awe of me.

"So do you."

"You are stunning, Caroline." He kept going, taking a step away from me so he could look me up and down.

"Stop." I told him, putting my arms around his neck. "Just give me one kiss and I'll be happy."

He nodded and swiftly leaned in and kissed me. "You even taste amazing."

"Stop." I laughed but was flattered all the same. He didn't need to tell me that. He could tell me I looked ridiculous and I'd still love him. "But I'm happy you think so."

He nodded repeatedly, "I do. I really do."

"So you don't think I look good in just jeans and a t-shirt?" I teased.

"You look good in everything." He replied.

"Good boy." I laughed.

Then his lips were against my ear, "You look even better in nothing. I can't wait to take that off of you later."

Laughing harder, my cheeks were burning. "Have I missed anything?"

He shook his head, "Nothing that you'd be sorry about."

"Meaning?" I asked.

"Meaning we've been welcomed in with open arms. I'm apparently a remarkable man." He told me.

"You are a remarkable man." I smiled. "The best ever."

He smirked, "Yeah, well, you're a little bias."

"A lot bias." I said and kissed him sweetly. "Anything else?"

He shook his head, "Nah. Just some small talk."

"So, now do we have to mingle?" I smirked.

He laughed lightly, "That's your thing. And Carol's. Even Maggie's. She looks amazing too, by the way." His eyes were on her.

"We lucked out." I told him. "She does look amazing though. I don't think her and Glenn will be staying too long." I added and laughed.

"I don't think we are either." He said and surprised me by pressing his lips to my neck.

Doing the whole mingling thing, I tried to remember names but was finding it difficult. One of the women had decided that she was going to make a meal for each of us. Something that was our favorite. I attempted to turn her down but apparently that just wasn't happening. I finally gave in, telling her that I would love a good meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn. That was my favorite meal that my dad made and it would be something I'd thoroughly enjoy. But it did the trick, giving us an out to move on. It didn't take long to have talked to pretty much everyone in the room. Finding a section of wall that was currently not being held up, I stood with my beer, watching the room. Something in the window caught me and I saw Daryl there. Downing my beer, I smiled at him, moving toward the door.

Stopping, I searched the crowd for Rick, finding him talking to Jessie. Moving toward them, I put my hand on his arm, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "I'm going to go check on Eric."

"Now?" He frowned, putting his arm around me.

"I'm getting a little overwhelmed with all these people." I told him.

He nodded, "Okay. I'll see you at home."

Smiling, I just stared at him for a long moment, "You will." Then I looked at Jessie. "Don't let him get bored."

She laughed lightly, "Never."

The way she said it and the way she looked at him, I felt a little jealous and possessive of him. Pete seemed to be coming on to me. Jessie was getting all flirtatious with Rick. Something just didn't feel right. But I was sure that it was all in my head. Rick wouldn't cheat and neither would I. I had nothing to worry about.

"Okay, then." I said and looked at Rick. "Love you." I told him softly.

He smiled, his hand finding my face, "Love you."

Smiling at Jessie, I left, moving toward Aaron and Eric's house. I was about halfway there when the heels got the better of me. Nearly pitching over, I felt arms as I was caught before I could hit the pavement.

"Daryl." I smiled. "Thank you."

"What's with the getup?" He asked.

"It was a party." I told him. "I wanted to look the part."

"And kill yourself." He stated.

Smiling, I used him to steady myself as I took the heels off. Starting down the road again, he took them from me, looking anxious as we walked. "I saw you." I told him. He just looked down at me. "At least you thought about going in." I smiled.

He nodded again. "Did you have fun?"

"It was nice." I replied. "There was beer, so that helped. The people are nice but so naïve it's ridiculous. One of them is more concerned about cooking us all a meal of our choice then the dead that are outside the walls. Not to mention the people. They have no idea what's going on and this made that even more clear." Stopping in front of the house, I looked up at him. "Wanna come in with me?"

"Nah." He told me.

"Hey, guys." Aaron said. "Daryl."

"Aaron." I said going up the stairs.

"Caroline, you look…fantastic." He smiled as he held his hands out to me.

Taking them, I leaned up and kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

"Here to check on Eric?"

"I am."

"He's on the couch." He smiled.

Going back down the stairs, I took my shoes of Daryl, kissing his cheek as well before going back up onto the porch, letting myself inside. Going to the living room, Eric was reading with his leg propped up.

"Hey, trouble." I smiled.

"Linny." He said sitting up. "Wow."

"I know." I smiled, blushing again. "I look pretty damn good."

"You look okay." He nodded.

Laughing, I stepped forward and punched his arm, "Jerk."

He laughed with me, "You obviously have heard that a few times tonight. So if you want I'll tell you that you look like crap."

Grinning at him, I shook my head, "No. I actually have been enjoying it. It's been forever since I've felt this nice."

"So what brings you here?" He asked.

"You." I winked at him. He blushed and shook his head at me. "How's the leg?"

He nodded, "It's feeling pretty good now."

Moving around the couch, I lifted it before moving behind it, sitting down and cradled it in my lap. "That's good."

"Hiding?" He smiled.

I propped my feet up on the table. "I've never been big on parties. When I did go I usually always over did it and ended up miserable for the next day or two."

"You can do that here you know." He stated.

"No, I can't." I replied. "You don't get it, Eric. You've seen what it's like out there and you all still throw parties and cook meals for everyone and live like nothing can happen to you."

"Something already happened to me." He told me.

"Exactly." I told him. "Something already happened to you, Eric. Something small in the grand scheme of things."

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"Hey, guys, look who's staying for dinner." Aaron smiled.

"Daryl!" I exclaimed.

"Get gimpy over to the table." He told me.

Laughing, I looked at Eric, "Come on, gimpy. Time to eat."

Going to the table, Aaron and Eric sat across from each other, with me next to Aaron and Daryl next to Eric. He was like a celebrity here. Eric kept looking at him with this expression like he wanted to ask him a million questions.

"You have a very nice home." I told Aaron. "I'm happy you convinced us to tag along."

"Me, too." He smiled. "You seem to be settling in all right."

I nodded, "Yes, thank you. It's been a dream come true."

We smiled glancing at Daryl as he very noisily and messily ate the spaghetti. I was slightly embarrassed but he was just being him. Gently kicking him under the table, he just raised a brow and kept going just the way he had been.

"Despite our lack of knowledge of what's out there." Aaron said keeping the conversation going.

"You'll get there." I smiled. "We'll help."

"Thank you. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me, too."

Daryl finished off his food, looking at them, "Thanks."

"Mmm, when you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs. Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker." Eric told Daryl. "And we're all really trying to get her to shut up about it. I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something."

I looked at him awkwardly, both Daryl and I taking a drink of the wine, watching as Daryl sloshed it around in his mouth. I had to stifle my laughter. He truly was a man of the wild and not civilization. That was why he did so well out there. He was amazing. Even more so for his social ungracefulness.

"I really think she just wants something to talk about, so…if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to…" Eric kept going, despite Aaron looking at him with a very 'shut up' sort of expression. "I thought it was done." Eric said putting his wine glass down. "You didn't ask him already?" Aaron shook his head.

"Ask me what?" Daryl asked.

"Come with me." Aaron told him as he stood.

"We'll clean up." I smiled at him, picking up plates. "And by 'we' I mean me. Gimpy there can head back to the couch."

"Don't even think about it, Caroline." Eric told me. "Gimpy can handle it just fine. You're a guest. Go with them."

"You sure?" I asked him, giving him one more opportunity to accept my help.

"Go." He smiled.

Nodding, I at least helped clear the table before joining the boys in the garage. I opened the door to see a motorcycle and a large amount of spare parts and tools that one would need to restore and tune it up.

"When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment." Aaron told him. "Whoever lived here built them."

"It's a lot of parts for one bike." Daryl stated.

"Yeah. Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling…you already know what to do with it. And the thing is…you're going to need a bike."

Daryl and I looked at each other and I simply smiled at him while he looked at Aaron suspiciously, "Why?"

"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you." He replied. "I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore."

"You want me risking mine, right?" Daryl asked. I couldn't help but frown at Aaron.

"Yeah, because you know what you're doing." Aaron told him. I wanted to jump in and tell him off but was curious as to what he was going to follow with. "You're good out there. But you don't belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I. But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person." He finished and now I was smiling at him. All good reasons.

Daryl looked at me; I stepped next to Aaron, "He's right."

Daryl looked at Aaron again, "I got nothing else to do. Thanks. I'll get you some rabbits."

"Great." Aaron smiled.

I stepped up to Daryl, wrapping my arms around him as I looked up at him. "I'm proud of you. This is a good thing."

"Shut up." He told me but smirked.

"I'm gonna go." I said and turned to Aaron. "Thank you so much for dinner."

"It was her favorite." Daryl stated.

I smiled at him, "Yes it was."

"I'm glad." Aaron smiled. "I'll walk you out."

I pretty much adored Aaron. He was kind and thoughtful and was more chivalrous than anyone I'd met in a long ass time. He was definitely one of the good ones. And the fact that he was gay made me feel like I could do just about anything to him or in front of him and it wouldn't matter. Every girl needed a good gay friend. Especially a male one.

"Thank you, again." I told him. "I'll see you later."

"Thank you, Caroline."

"For what?" I frowned.

He shrugged, "For being you."

I laughed, "I've heard that before. Still not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Definitely a good thing." He replied.

"Thanks." Daryl told him as he came down the stairs. "Let's go."

Nodding, I waved at him once more before walking with Daryl. Hooking my arm through his, he took my hand, holding it tightly as we walked. "You okay?" He nodded. "I liked his offer. You'll be good at it." He nodded again. "I'm glad you took the job." He again nodded. "How about you say something to me."

He stopped and we turned toward each other. He took both my hands, his thumbs running along the top of them. He leaned forward and pressed a long kiss against my forehead. "You look beautiful."

Smiling, I cocked my head at him, "Thank you."

He pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me in a vice grip, pressing his face into my neck. Hugging him tightly, I slid my hand up his neck, my fingers disappearing into his hair.

"I love you, Daryl." I told him. "So much."

He let me go, nodding down at me, "Yeah, love you too."

"Come on." I said still holding his hand as we went back to our home. Going inside the house was quiet but there were sounds of people around. "Get some sleep."

"Night." He said and moved downstairs to where his room was.

Waiting, listening for him to close the door, I finally made my way back upstairs. I stopped at Carl's door, opening it to check on him to find him reading comics. Opening the door further, I let myself in, seeing Judith sleeping in her playpen. Smiling, I leaned over and gently rubbed her back.

"Have fun?" Carl asked, setting the comic aside.

Smiling, I sat on the edge of the bed, "I did. How was your night?"

"Good." He replied. "Where were you?"

"I was at Aaron and Eric's with Daryl. I wanted to check on Eric's ankle and they invited us to stay for dinner. How was the rest of the party?"

"Boring." He smiled. "Not really our kind of thing."

I scoffed and nodded, "Definitely not. We're more of a gladiator type group who has more fun killing walkers than being around real people." He laughed and nodded. "But we need to try and be a little more like these people." I added. "We will keep our skills up but I think we need to get a little more of our humanity back." He sighed, averting his eyes. "You don't agree?"

"I do, it's just…" He started.

"Just what?" I asked, brushing his bangs out of his face.

"I don't want us to get weak."

"You've said that before." I smiled. "But it's not going to happen. We're just going to get happier. Not weaker."

"Yeah." He said but didn't seem convinced.

"Don't you like it here?"

"I do."

"Good. Because I really, really want this place to work."

"Do you really think it can?"

I smiled and nodded, "I do. I really do. Now that we're here, these people have a better chance at surviving. We can make this place impenetrable." He smiled. "Doesn't sound so bad, does it?"

"No." He told me.

Leaning down, I pressed a kiss against his forehead, "I love you, Carl."

"Love you, Mom."

Smiling, I stared down at him, "I like that."

"Good. Because I'm not going to stop."

Smiling, I ran my hand across his hair, "Night, Carl."

"Night, Mom."

Getting up, I moved to the door, "Ready for lights out?"

"Yeah."

"Sleep tight."

"Mom?" He said stopping me. "You look really nice."

"Thank you." I smiled at him.

Letting myself into the room next to his, I smiled at Rick, he'd already fallen asleep. I walked to our en suite bathroom, undoing my hair and slipped out of the dress. Taking off my bra, I smiled, loving the feeling. Putting on a tank and sweat pants I went through my usual routine before I moved to the bed. Getting in, I rolled over, pressing myself against Rick's side. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tighter against him.

"I love you, Rick." I whispered to him.

"Love you, Linny." He replied.

Smiling, I tipped my head up, pressing a kiss against his cheek. He chuckled softly before pressing a kiss to my forehead. Nestling as far into him as I could, I fell asleep. It had been an amazing night, one of many more to come. Every day this place felt more like home. I couldn't wait to see what it would become.


	40. Unexpected

**Chapter Forty: Unexpected**

Walking up the stairs, I let myself in the front door, balancing the plate of food on my hand. I nearly dropped it, tripping as I caught it, and regained balance before sighing heavily at myself. Moving again, I went to the kitchen and set the plate down.

"Eric!" I called.

"Upstairs!" He called back.

Making my way up to him, I ran my fingers through my hair. It had been a long few days and I was eager for Aaron to come home to take over. Finding him in the bedroom, he was severely unkempt as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Sighing, I dropped onto the bed next to him, staring at the ceiling.

"Any news?" He asked.

"Nope." I replied.

"How long do you think they'll be gone?" He asked next.

"I don't know."

"It's already been three days."

"I know."

"Is that normal for Daryl?"

"Yes."

"What's the longest he's been gone?"

"A couple weeks."

"A couple weeks?" He frowned at me.

I looked at him, "They're going to be fine." He just sighed at me. "Daryl is far more capable than any other person here. He will bring Aaron back safe. You don't need to worry."

"I'm useless until my ankle heals. I should be out there with him."

"That was the point of having Daryl start recruiting. So you wouldn't have to."

"He doesn't get to make those decisions for me." He stated with annoyance.

Looking at him for a long moment, I knew what he was feeling, but he needed to see it from Aaron's point of view. "He loves you, Eric. He wants to protect you."

"I can protect myself."

"The world is different, Eric." I frowned at him. "Taking care of yourself doesn't mean what it did before the outbreak. Dying doesn't mean what it did before. Things are different and we should be afraid. We should worry and realize what it means to survive. Aaron is understanding more and more of what's at stake and he knows that he can't risk something happening to you."

"You go out there. Alone even. No one thinks twice about it." He stated.

"I know what the world is like. I understand it. I've lived in it longer than most. They know I know and that I can handle it." I tried to explain. He looked at me and nodded. "Also I'm super stubborn and worry far more about everyone else before myself. If I'm alone then people know I won't worry as much. Plus I know enough about the dead to survive. I've survived everything so far anyway."

"Not without help."

"I'm not saying I can survive on my own. I am saying that I was alone for a long time and survived."

"Yeah."

We were quiet for a while before I finally got up, "Alright, enough moping around, we're gonna take a walk."

"Not really in the mood."

"I don't care. You've laid around long enough." I said but he just laid there. "Up, up, up." I said pulling on him.

"Linny." He frowned.

"Up. Now." I stated yanking the covers back. "And you need a shower."

"Cast." He said holding up his leg and pointing at it.

Sighing, I turned and went back down to the kitchen, grabbing saran wrap. Going back upstairs, I wrapped the shit out of the cast to make sure no water would get in. Then I got him onto his feet and helped him into the bathroom. Leaving him alone, I waited outside the bathroom door, just in case he needed help. While he showered, I set clean clothes inside before I sat and waited again. When it finally opened he was dressed and looked much better. Getting the saran wrap off his leg, I handed him his crutches and we made our way downstairs.

Opening the door for him, it was a beautiful day. People were out and about, kids were playing in the street. Smiling, I was more than happy to just walk and take in the town, still unable to get enough of it. But when I looked at Eric, he looked as unhappy as he had been since Aaron left.

"Are you gonna mope around till the second he gets back?" I asked him.

"Aren't you worried about Daryl?" He countered.

"Of course I am."

"But you seem so okay with him not being back yet."

"It's not the first time he's gone off. He's our main hunter, forager, and scavenger. He's known to be gone for a while. He doesn't rush things and he makes sure it's done right. He thinks before he acts. He's smart and capable. He's pretty amazing. Aaron could not be in safer hands." I tried again to make him feel better.

We made two loops around town before we ended up back in front of the house. He still didn't seem convinced and was just a mopey as he had been when we'd started. Helping him back into the house, I went to the couch but he was already on his way back upstairs.

"Eric." I said softly.

"Thanks, Linny." He said kindly.

Only before I could say anything there was commotion from outside and I smiled up at Eric. He grinned before nearly falling down the few steps he'd gone up, quickly crutching toward the door. Opening it, he rushed out, swiftly going down the stairs and toward the gate. Making sure he didn't pitch over, I stayed close to him, seeing everyone starting to gather.

"They must have found someone." Eric said as he beamed at me.

Both excitement and anxiousness filled me. No one else had been brought in since we were and the first trip out for Daryl and they had successfully brought someone back with them. What would they be like? Would they fit in? I wasn't sure what to think. Only then I realized that it wasn't my place to think anything about it. This wasn't my community. It wasn't Rick's. It was Deanna's and she would make all the decisions.

Moving through the crowd, my eyes locked on Eric, when I finally looked up, I couldn't breathe. My heart started to race and for a long moment everything went out of focus, voices muffling in my ears. Only one thing was in focus for me. Then a voice started to reach my ears. Blinking repeatedly, Carl was repeating the same question over and over again.

"Do you know him?" He asked. "Mom, do you know him?"

My mind was moving a mile a minute. I looked at him and then I looked at the people around me, my eyes locking on Rick. He was already looking at me, swiftly moving toward me as he took in the expression on my face. I didn't know what to do. I reached for him when he stepped next to me, meeting his eyes.

"Do you know him?" He asked with a hard tone.

Looking back at the man they'd brought back, I nodded before slowly stepping forward. In the next second I was running, tears immediately streaming as I reached him, throwing my arms around his neck. Sobbing into him, I continuously ran my hands down the back of his head, squeezing his shoulder blades as I made sure that he was real.

"Ben!" I cried. "Oh god, Ben! I thought you were dead!"

"I know." He told me softly. "I know, baby. But I'm not. I'm right here. I never thought I'd have you in my arms again."

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed harder, feeling weaker than I ever have before. "I am so, so very sorry. I thought you were dead and I left. I just left you."

"You had no reason to believe that I was alive."

Letting him go, I took his head in my hands, "Hannah?" He shook his head. "No." I said as the tears were renewed. "No!" Wrapping my arms around his neck again, I once again sobbed. "I'm so sorry. Ben, I am so sorry. I should have been there."

"Linny, stop." He told me softly. "Stop, it's okay. It happened a while ago."

"What?" I frowned. "When? What happened? I swore I saw you all in the fire."

"Mozzie got us out." He stated.

"Where is he?"

He looked at me with heavy emotion, "He died with Hannah."

Covering my mouth, I sobbed, nodding at him, "It's how he'd want to go. He loved her."

"He loved you." He replied. "We searched for you. He had your scent, only then it, it disappeared."

"So much has happened, Ben. I have so much to tell you." I told him, smiling now. He was alive and he was here.

"Like why that man behind you is looking like I just stole his girl?" He smirked.

Looking behind me, Rick was staring at us, clearly unsure of what to think. But he knew who Ben was and what he had meant to me. Meeting Ben's eyes again, I nodded. "Yeah. There's a lot we need to talk about."

"I lost the girl." Ben smiled and laughed. "I came all this way. Lost everything. And I still lost the girl."

"Stop it." I told him, his head once again in my hands. "Stop. You being alive –"

"Means what? Does it mean everything changes?"

"Ben, you literally just got here." I frowned at him.

"I haven't laid eyes on you in months. Months! A lot can happen. I'm sure you grieved us for a while. But in this world, once someone is gone, you move on." He frowned back at me.

"That's not fair." I frowned at him. He nodded and stepped away from me. "Don't." I told him, gripping his hand. "Don't you dare walk away from me, Ben."

"Are you hurt?" Maggie asked him, stepping up to us. Her hand found my back and she smiled at me before looking at Ben.

"Not really. A few scrapes and bruises but nothing I can't handle."

"Let's get him to Pete anyway." Maggie smiled at me.

"First." Deanna said stepping toward us. "An interview. Unless you feel like you need medical attention first." She said looking at him.

"No." He replied. "I can handle an interview. I was told to expect one."

Deanna started to lead him away but she held up her hand, "Wait outside if you want to wait. Otherwise it'll be just me and him."

"But –" I started.

"No buts." She smiled. "He won't disappear."

Sighing, I nodded, following them to the base of the stairs. As soon as they were inside, I let out the breath I had been holding and turned back to my family. All eyes were on me now and I had no idea what to say. I had no idea what to feel or think or…anything. He was alive. I had left him and Hannah and Mozzie. I'd left them and then everything that had happened. I'd let him go. I'd moved on to both another group and with another man. What was I supposed to do now?

I hated to admit to it but this was a game changer. I was here because of him. If I had never thought him dead then I never would have left and we would have been together this entire time. I had already pledged myself to him a long time ago. Not pledged. But I'd committed myself to him and his daughter. I told her I wouldn't leave him. But then he left me only that wasn't what really happened.

Sitting down, I opted to not say anything. It was too fresh and since I had no idea what to say I figured silence was the best answer. Maggie came and sat next to me, Rick standing in front of me with a very upset looking Carl. I met Rick's eyes and smiled at him. I loved him. I didn't want to hurt him. He smiled and wrapped his arm around Carl, nodding at me before he walked away. I didn't know what he was thinking but whatever it was he must have thought I needed space. It was both true and also very wrong. I didn't want space. I was freaking out. But Maggie was here. I honestly wasn't sure I could handle more than one person at a time. Too much was going on in my head and I for one had no idea where to start to sort this all out.

Things were so different now. I had feelings for another man. I had grieved the one I lost and had moved on. Not right away. It had taken months for me to even consider it. But I had done it and we had just begun and now the man who I thought was the love of my life was alive and right in front of me. How did I just ignore that? How could I be with Rick and not feel like I was betraying him? What the fuck was I supposed to do?

"You okay?" Maggie finally asked.

"No." I replied honestly.

"How can I help?"

"Tell me what I should do." I told her on the verge of tears. "He's alive and he's here. But Rick is here."

"You love them both."

"I love Rick." I stated. "I loved Ben before and seeing him makes me so happy but does that mean everything I had with him is the same and that I just fall right back into that life with him? Because that life is gone, Maggie."

"But he's not. He's right here and I know that he meant the world to you."

"He did." I nodded. "Or does. I don't know. But things are different and I don't know what to do."

"Let's just wait till he's done. We'll get him checked out by Pete and then we'll go from there." She told me. "Sound good?"

I nodded, "Sounds good."

We were quiet as we waited and it seemed to be taken a hell of a long time for the interview to be over. We never heard any raised voices or anything, knowing that Ben was too much of a gentleman to make a scene in front of Deanna. The longer it took the longer I had to think and the more anxious I became. I wanted to know what he was telling her. I wanted to know what she was telling him. I just wanted him to come out of there and talk to me.

"Linny." Maggie said softly as I paced in front of the stairs.

"No." I told her.

"No?"

"I can't, Maggie. I just – I need to keep moving."

The door opened and both Ben and Deanna came out and stood on the porch. "It was very nice meeting you, Ben." Deanna smiled at him, shaking his hand. Then she was looking at me, "You can take him to the infirmary now if you'd like."

I nodded at her, "Thank you."

"I'm fine." Ben said as he slowly came down the steps and stood in front of me. "Don't worry about me."

"I always worry." I frowned at him.

He chuckled, "Yeah, I remember."

"So, infirmary. Now." I added.

He smiled and nodded at me. Taking his hand, I held it tightly, hugging his arm as tightly as possible so there was no chance of him moving away from me. He seemed relaxed despite the feeling I was sure he was losing in his fingers. Maggie got the door as I refused to let him go long enough to even grab the handle.

"Hey." Pete said with a frown as he took in my expression. "Hey, new guy." He said to Ben.

"This is Ben." I told him. "He needs to get checked out."

"I'm fine." Ben told him.

"Sit." Pete replied. "Caroline, you're going to have to let him go." He added with a smile.

Nodding, it still took Maggie's help to release him. He smiled at me as he worked his hand from the tightness my grip had been. "Sorry." I told him.

He just looked at me, keeping his eyes on me as Pete looked him over. Rosita came in as well, immediately starting to clean his visible wounds. I smiled my thanks to her and by the way she was looking at me, she had been told who he was. Staring at Ben, it was starting to feel surreal. Like if I blinked he would disappear. I didn't want him to disappear. I loved him. The longer I looked at him the more I felt it coming to the surface. Just like before, he was as entrancing to me as he ever was.

"He's good to go." Pete smiled. "He'll be fine. He's a little dehydrated so make him drink a bunch of water and he probably needs a good night's sleep."

"I'll make sure of it." I told him, not meeting his eyes.

"I'm fine." Ben told him. "I think I'll just be moving on."

"Enough." I shot at him. "You don't get to show up after all this time only to turn around and leave."

"You clearly have a different family now."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I frowned. "Did you want me to just be miserable for the rest of my life? I thought you were dead."

"I understand that." He frowned. "I guess I didn't think you'd latch on to whoever crossed your path." He shot back coldly.

Without knowing it was going to happen until it did, I slapped him. Tears were running down my cheeks, shaking taking me over as I stared at him. He looked ashamed, bringing his fingers to his cheek.

"I didn't mean that." He told me sadly.

"You have no idea how hard it was without you." I stated through my tears. "You have no idea what I've done. You have no idea, Ben. Just like I have no idea what you've been through or what you've done. But to imply that I didn't love you or grieve you or think about you every single day that's just – that's just cruel, and you're not cruel." I said scoffing as I shook my head, tears still streaming. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I would never do that. But you were dead and I did find people who I call family. But you have no idea how long it took me to get there. You have no fucking idea how hard every day has been without you."

He brought his hand up to my face but I flinched away from him. Turning, I fled the clinic, rushing back to the house and up to my room, slamming the door behind me. Only then it occurred to me that this wasn't just my room. It was Rick's. I shared it with the man I had fallen in love with. But I had fallen in love with Ben, too. How was I supposed to handle this?

Feeling dirty, I rushed into the bathroom, stripping and taking the hottest shower I could stand. I scrubbed my skin till it was red, sliding down the wall of it, sobbing into my knees as the weight of it all came crashing down. Ben was alive and well and here. I had been so ecstatic to see him and then he accused me simply moving on from him. Only it wasn't just that. The knowledge that both Hannah and Mozzie were now confirmed dead…I couldn't breathe. This wasn't how this was all supposed to end. I had already mourned them. I had already buried what I had of them for closer. I had let them go. I had to in this new world. I had to let them go. So I did. And now I come to find that I had been wrong the whole time. I'd left them and then Hannah and Mozzie were killed and I left Ben to face it alone. I'd left him behind and now he was back and he was alone and holding on to what we had only to come to find that I'd moved on.

How horrible was I?

Hearing the door, I looked up to see Rick. The sobs didn't stop as I dropped my head into my hand, shaking my head at him. I couldn't find the words. I listened as he took off his shoes and his jacket, his belt hitting the floor. Then he stepped into the shower. Sitting next to me, he put his arm around me, pulling me into his side. Resting my head against his chest, I wrapped my arm around him, the other around his knee as I sobbed. I didn't know what to do. It felt like I was living their deaths all over again. All but Ben's. I didn't deserve Rick being here with me. I didn't deserve his comfort. In this moment, all I wanted to do was leave Alexandria and disappear in the woods. Everyone was better off without me. I was becoming a source of pain, and I didn't want that. Not for anyone. I'd take my guilt and I'd leave.

When I'd calmed down, we finally got out of the shower, both silent as he changed and I got dressed. After, we both sat on the end of the bed, just sitting there. I wasn't sure if he was waiting for me to say something or if I was waiting for him to. All I knew was that I had no idea what to say to him. The only thing I could think of was to apologize. But I wasn't sure if that was fair or not to either of us. It was an honest mistake. I'd told Rick about him. We'd talked at length about it. We'd talked till we were both blue in the face. We'd talked about him and Hannah and Mozzie. We'd talked about it but to have it thrust into our faces was something neither of us were expecting or ready for. Especially when our relationship still felt new.

Rick slid his hand into mine and I gripped it tightly in both of mine. "It's okay." He told me. Tears filled my eyes again. "It's okay, Caroline. I know what he means to you."

Shaking my head, I met his eyes. The blueness of them beautiful and mesmerizing. They were the first thing I'd fallen in love with. They were the first thing of him I'd seen and in that moment, that was when it had clicked for me. That I could be happy again. That there was someone else out there that I could care about. It had still taken months for me to even consider it. But that feeling had always been in the back of my mind.

"I love you." I told him.

"I know. I love you, too." He nodded at me. "But you were his first. And you loved him. And now he's here."

Now anger was starting to seep into me. "So, just like that you're going to give me back to him? Is that it?"

"Linny…"

"No, Rick." I frowned at him, standing and looking down at him. "Do you think there is just a switch that I can turn on and off?"

"Linny…"

"I thought he was dead!" I yelled at him. "I thought he was dead and I mourned him. You know I did. You were there for it."

"I know." He told me again.

"I know you know, Rick." I shot at him, running my fingers through my hair roughly.

"Linny, just calm down." He said gently.

Sitting down next to him again, I took a deep breath. "The only time I've felt so happy to see someone was when I found you after the prison." Meeting his eyes, he smiled at me. "Seeing you that day was the best feeling in the world. Seeing him again, knowing he's alive, is the best feeling in the world. But I also feel so guilty for leaving him behind."

"You thought he was dead." He told me.

"I did." I nodded. "I did think he was dead. But he's not, Rick. What am I supposed to do?"

"You have to decide that for yourself." He stated.

Scoffing, I stood up again, "Always letting me make my own choices. That's not exactly what I want to hear from you."

"What do you want me to say?" He asked.

"What do you want me to do?" I countered.

He sighed, "I can't answer that."

"You can. You can tell me what you want me to do. I'm asking for your opinion in this matter." I told him feeling annoyed.

"I want you to choose me!" He yelled as he got to his feet. "Is that what you want me to say?"

"Yes." I told him. "That is what I want you to say."

He laughed lightly, shaking his head, "I saw the expression on your face when you saw him. I saw the way you reacted to him. I saw you embrace him and I knew in the moment that no matter what I tell you, I've already lost."

Laughing, feeling more and more annoyed, I shook my head at him, "You both think you know me so well. Ben said the same thing to me. That he'd already lost me and that was just seconds after being reunited with him. So, you both think you lost the girl. Maybe you both should lose the girl. I'm not worth the fight and deciding is going to be impossible. So…" I said and threw up my arms, moving to the door.

"Where are you going?" Rick asked as he followed me.

"Out." I told him harshly.

"Caroline, wait." He said before gripping my arm.

Whipping my head toward him, I met his eyes with a hard look, "Let me go."

He did and I swiftly left the house, hearing Carl say my name, hearing Judith making those soft noises that melted my heart, but I kept moving. Rushing out into the street, I swiftly moved toward the gate. I suddenly felt very trapped and I needed to escape. Just for a little while. Seeing Spencer at the gate, he looked at me with a sad expression as I moved toward him.

"Open it." I told him.

"Caroline." Rick said running up behind me.

"Don't follow me, Rick!" I yelled and then was moving through the gate.

Hearing him and Spencer talking, he didn't follow me. I wasn't sure if that was out of respect for me or if Spencer was looking out for me. Either way, I didn't care, I needed just a few minutes to wrap my head around everything. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was. But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to grow.

Moving through the woods, I kept my eyes open for danger, and yet didn't care if a fucking walker came for me right now. I was so confused and annoyed and depressed that if anything came for me, they'd regret it.

When the woods were quiet, I found a tree, climbing into it. Then I knew I could sit and think without having to worry about a walker stumbling across me. I could momentarily detach from the world and simply try and work through everything. I had been so happy to see Ben. But he was different. He was colder. He wasn't the same man who I had grieved for. I understood considering he'd been alone in dealing with Hannah and Mozzie's deaths. He'd been alone and I'd left him that way. He didn't seem to think me dead. He knew I was alive and yet I'd grieved him and let him go.

Then there was Rick. He was kind and gentle and yet rough when he wanted to be. He was smart and compassionate. He fought with everything in him to save those that he cared about. He led everyone, teaching them how to survive and to live in this world. He had shown me that despite the way the world was, there was still beauty in it. He was raising his infant daughter in this world and her smile alone was enough to believe that the world wasn't gone. Carl was growing up strong and smart and kind as he matured into a man as good as his father. I'd lost one family to find myself welcomed into another.

And it wasn't just the Grimes. It was Michonne. It was Maggie and Glenn. It was Abraham and Rosetta. Carol and Daryl. It was everyone. Everyone had welcomed me in. We had welcomed each other in. We had survived so much together and now we had been welcomed in by another family and had been given a home like we had known before all of this. We had a house, food, water, a neighborhood. We had everything we could ever need in this new world.

I thought I had everything I ever wanted. But I'd thought that before. With Ben. I had everything I wanted with him. A home. A life. A daughter. I had everything I wanted and then I had lost it all. I had lost everything. But I had been wrong. I had to make it up to Ben. I had to show him that I didn't just forget him. I still loved him. Of course I still loved him. But Rick…I loved Rick. I couldn't just leave him just because Ben was back. I would be doing the same thing to him.

"What am I supposed to do?" I said out loud. "What am I supposed to do?!"

Starting to sob again, I cried until I couldn't, thinking of Hannah and Mozzie before leaning against the large branch next to me, falling asleep, my mind and body completely exhausted. Hoping for just a few minutes of peace. In a span of just a few minutes, my entire world was once again turned upside down.


	41. I Hurt You, You Hurt Me

**Hello all! I hope the few of you who are still reading enjoy the chapter! So many fun things to come! Sorry it's been so long since an update. I'll attempt to do better moving forward! I mean it this time. Please feel free to drop a review or two. Haven't heard much so I will admit I'm beginning to question this story. Lol. But I still love it and am more then excited to get a little further into the the real meaty parts of this story. Can't wait to see what you all think when the time comes!**

 **But more than anything I just want you to read and enjoy!**

 **Hope everyone is safe and enjoying their time at home!**

 **Sending love and hugs to you all no matter which corner of the world you're in!**

* * *

 **Chapter Forty-one: I Hurt You, You Hurt Me**

Shivering woke me up, the night's chill seeping into my bones. It took me a moment to remember where I was, nearly falling out of the tree. Rubbing my face with my hands, I licked the sleep from my mouth, running my hand down my face. Gripping the branch, I attempted to exit it gracefully; only I slipped, slamming my torso onto a branch. The force of it flipped me and I landed hard on my back. Coughing, I groaned as I got to my feet, looking around to make sure I hadn't attracted any unwanted attention. A few twigs snapped, making my pulse race, but nothing came after it. The woods were silent, making me relax and look toward home. I'd been gone long enough, even though I'd decided nothing about what to do.

I wasn't even halfway when I heard rustling. Swiftly moving behind a tree, I listened, bending down and searched for some sort of weapon. Feeling a decent sized rock, I gripped it tightly, ready to do what I had to. Listening as the steps came closer, I took deep breaths, only then there were voices. Frowning, I listened intently until I could hear them clear enough to tell who they were. Sighing, I let the rock slip from my hand, moving from behind the tree and toward the voices I knew so well.

"She's out here because of you." Ben accused.

"She's out here because she's in pain." Rick replied.

"You don't even know her." Ben shot at him.

There was a long moment of silence before Rick replied, "I know just about everything there is to know about her." They both stopped and I couldn't deny that I was curious, slowly moving closer so I could hear the answer. "And do you know how I know that?" Rick asked him calmly.

"How?" Ben asked, only there was uncertainty in his voice.

"Because of you." Rick stated sadly. "She was broken. She had fallen into the wrong crowd but she saved my life. She saved me and my family without knowing who we were or why we needed saving. She let me shoot her to ensure our escape." He explained before pausing, taking a deep breath. "But when she finally started to come around, she told me about you and about Hannah and Mozzie. She told me how much she loved you. She was convinced that love in this world was a hindrance and that she was never going to fall in love again. Not with anyone or anything. She'd had her chance and she'd failed him. You. So don't tell me that I don't know her. I know her better than you. And she knows more about me than anyone. We bonded in our losses."

"What loss did you face?" Ben asked.

"I have a son and a daughter. I lost their mother the day Judith was born. My daughter was cut out of her belly when she had complications. Then she was eaten by a walker after her son shot her in the head so she wouldn't turn." He explained.

Feeling emotion again, this was harder to listen to than I thought it would be.

"Caroline and I both taught each other that we are capable of moving on. That it's okay to love someone again. To let them in. She lost you. I lost my wife. Only now you're back and that changes things." Rick finished and started to move on again.

"I didn't know." Ben replied.

"You haven't been around long enough to ask." Rick stated. "You came, you saw, you accused, and now the woman in question is off probably wallowing in her guilt."

"I didn't mean to…" Ben started before trailing off.

"I'm sure you didn't." Rick replied. "But I am sure that you knew how she might react."

"I was too shocked about what I saw."

"Me and Caroline. I get it. But seeing the way she greeted you was just as hard for me."

There was silence again. Not caring to hear any more, I sighed and called out to them, "Rick."

"Linny." He said, his voice immediately in my direction. Stepping out from behind a tree, I moved toward the sound of his voice. "Linny." He said again.

I was close. Seeing their shapes in the night, I stepped up to them, wrapping my arms around myself. Smiling, I waved at them, feeling like opening my mouth would only bring trouble. Rick smiled at me while Ben looked anxious. Nodding at them, I sighed and started out toward home again. They moved to either side of me, escorting me back through the woods. It was awkward the entire way. It was like the words that none of us were saying was putting so much tension in the air that each step was exhausting. It made me almost want to disappear into the dark all over again.

When the gates came into sight, several people were standing there. "Seriously?" I frowned.

"Yeah, well, people care about you." Rick smirked at me, his hand finding my neck.

Sighing, I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, momentarily leaning into his side. Seeing Ben glance at us, I swiftly stepped away from him. As soon as I was through, Maggie's arms were around me.

"I'm fine. Nothing happened. I just fell asleep."

"I'm so sorry." She told me.

Nodding, I sighed, "Me, too."

"You okay?" Glenn asked as he wrapped his arm around me.

"Not really." I replied, forcing a smile for him.

"Running off isn't the answer." Abraham frowned at me.

"I know." I told him. "And I wasn't running. I simply needed space."

"Can't imagine why." Deanna smiled. "Come with me."

My family all brushed against me as I followed her toward her house. "Am I in trouble for leaving?" I asked her.

She laughed lightly, "Of course not. I simply saw the trapped look in your eye and thought you could use just a little bit more space between you and them."

Smiling, I wrapped my arm around her, "Thank you."

Going into her home, we went into the den, both sitting in one of the chairs. As if he knew we were coming, Reg appeared with three drinks, sitting on the couch and looking at us with a smile on his face. He looked so innocent and adorable that both Deanna and I smiled at each other before laughing.

"So, what are you going to do?" Reg asked.

Then we were both frowning. I looked at Deanna before I replied to him. "Well, Reg, maybe you can help me with that. What would you do if you fell in love with one man only to think him dead, spend months getting over him and then when you finally fall for someone else, the said dead man comes back and he's really not dead? Then, to top it off, the little girl of said dead man and the dog that was your kid are both confirmed dead, and you weren't there. What would you do, Reg? Is that answer easy? Not to mention the looks and awkwardness that is surrounding every conversation you have since said dead man and news of death has been discovered. What would you do? Hell, let's make bracelets, WWRD, What Would Reg Do."

I downed the drink and found that the awkward silence was following me everywhere.

"Well, I think this is more of a women's conversation." He smiled and stood.

"I'm sorry." I told him quickly. "I didn't mean to be such a bitch."

"It's all true though." Deanna stated.

Nodding, I sighed, looking into my empty glass.

"I'll get you a refill." Reg smiled and held his hand out for the glass.

"Fill it up, baby." Deanna smiled at him.

Staring at my hands, I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing and feeling drained. When Reg came back, the glass was full of the amber liquid, burning as I downed half of it. I hated hard liquor but I needed the effect of it right now.

"So, what are you going to do?" Deanna asked.

"Do I have to do anything?" I frowned at her.

"Two men are looking to you for answers. One of which is my constable who I would like to see unburdened as soon as possible."

"Meaning?" I frowned.

"Meaning I think he'll be highly distracted until you make a decision. Rick or Ben."

Sighing, I sipped the drink, "I told you about Ben."

"You loved him."

"Love him." I corrected. "He's alive and I still love him."

"And Rick?"

"I love him, too." I replied and took another large swig. "There is just something about him that is exciting and makes me feel alive. He's the opposite of Ben. Ben is kind more than he is hard and Rick is…not." I said and laughed lightly. She nodded and smiled at me knowingly. "What are you thinking?"

"I think you have a complicated decision to make. But I also think you should go home and sleep on it."

Furrowing my brows, I looked at her, "Home is a bed that I share with Rick."

She smiled and nodded at me, "Yup."

"What are you really saying?"

"I think you need to discuss this with him. Ben will be set up with Maggie and Glenn. Maggie's agreed to keep an eye on him."

Nodding, I sighed and finished the drink. "Okay."

For a long moment we just sat there, then she laughed at me, "You don't want to go now, do you?"

"Michonne and Rick have been super close since before me."

She sighed, "I don't think it's that easy."

"No." I replied. "I don't think it is either."

"I think he's cared about you a lot longer than you think. It's finally happened and I feel like he's not going to make it easy to give you up."

Smiling, I nodded, "Thank you."

"Go home." She told me.

"Yes, ma'am."

Getting up, I put my hand against Reg's arm as I passed him, going to the door and letting myself out. The streets were empty, my family had officially dispersed back to their homes. Taking my time, when I finally moved up the steps to my home, I pushed the door open to see lights on. Carl was standing there, obviously waiting for me to come home.

"Hey, Carl. What's going on?" I frowned at him.

"What are you doing?" He shot at me, clearly angry.

"Carl, sweetie, let me explain."

"You don't have to explain. I get it. I just don't see how you can do this to my dad. I thought you loved him."

I swiftly took his head in my hands, "Carl, I do love him. Your father brought me back after I lost the man I thought I'd be with forever."

"And now he's back." Carl stated as he pulled away from me. "So, you're just going to drop my dad?"

"That is not what's happening." I told him angrily. "But don't you think I deserve a few minutes to wrap my head around everything? Don't you think I owe that to your father and to me and to Ben?"

He didn't say anything.

"What's going on?" Michonne asked softly from the landing on the stairs.

"I'm sorry if we woke you." I told her.

She sighed and came down, running her hand down the back of Carl's head. "It's fine."

"We're just talking." Carl told her.

"Sounds more like you're accusing her." Michonne frowned. "Hasn't she had enough of that today?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Then why don't you head to bed. You can talk about it tomorrow when everyone has had a chance to sleep and to process." She went on.

He nodded and moved toward the stairs.

"Carl." I said, making him stop. He turned and looked at me. "Even if I'm not with your dad, I'll still love you just as much. That will never change."

"It will if you're not here anymore." He stated and went upstairs.

Sighing, I moved to the couch and dropped onto it. Michonne came and sat next to me, smiling at me with sympathy. Meeting her eyes, I offered her a smile, taking her hand. She held it, waiting for me to say something.

"Be hypothetical with me for a minute." I told her. "If Mike were still alive and he randomly came back into your life after you moved on with someone else, what would you do?"

She simply smiled at me for a long moment, "I would be second guessing everything, just like you are now."

"Okay." I nodded. "Good. For a while there I thought I was being ridiculous."

She laughed lightly, "No, you're not. I can understand your side of it. I can understand Rick's side. Ben's side."

"You understand more than me." I smiled at her.

She sighed, "I understand that this is going to be hard for you. But know that you have family here. We have your back and we won't let anything happen to you. Ben is welcome to stay. But you need to make peace with Rick if you don't choose him. He's a good man. But I'm sure Ben is, too. Don't rush anything, Linny. Just see what happens. Maybe things have changed and Ben isn't who you want anymore. If that's the case it's okay. It's okay to not love him as much as you used to. It's okay to love Rick. God knows he deserves some happiness."

"He does." I said quickly. "He really does and I'm happy to give him that. But before, with Ben, we had the perfect little life."

"But that's gone. It's over." She told me gently. "He may still be alive but maybe your relationship with him is based on that life. Look around at the life you have right now and think of who you can see in your future and how you see them."

"You're right." I nodded. "Thank you."

She squeezed my hand, "Just don't rush into any decisions."

"Okay."

"Promise me."

Smiling, I squeezed her hand back, "I promise."

"Good." She smiled and stood. "Now go to bed."

Laughing, I nodded, following her up the stairs. She went into her bedroom and I went to Carl's and Judith's. Letting myself in, Carl was still awake, looking up at me as I stepped up to Judith's crib. Leaning down, I pressed a kiss against her forehead, running my fingers across her soft hair, breathing in her baby smell. Straightening, I watched her sleep for a few minutes before I turned to Carl. Going to the bed, I forced him to move over, sitting next to him. He had a comic open and was attempting to ignore me, but it wasn't working. He finally lowered it, turning his head and looked at me.

"I know you're mad at me, but –" I started.

"I'm not mad." He told me. "Hurt maybe, but not mad."

"I don't want to hurt you." I frowned putting my arm around him. He leaned into my side, sighing. "I'm just as confused and hurt as you are. It's not easy to think someone dead and then they appear out of the blue alive and well."

"I know." He replied.

"And it's not just him being alive. It's knowing that his daughter and my dog are officially dead. They had been alive after the fire." I said feeling myself grow distant. I could still feel the heat of the cabin fire. "Now they're gone and I wasn't there. He's been through so much and I left him alone to face that. I wasn't there for him and I think that makes it harder." I told him.

"Why are you telling me all this?" He asked.

"Because I trust you." I replied. "I trust you completely and I want you to know these things. I don't want you to wonder what's going on. You're old enough to be confided in and right now I feel better talking to you."

"You're avoiding my dad." He smirked up at me.

Smirking back at him, I rubbed his arm, and nodded, "Yes, I am." We laughed before growing quiet again, "Alright, go to sleep."

He nodded and scooted down as I stood up. Pulling the covers up, I leaned down and brushed the hair aside from his forehead before pressing a kiss against it.

"I love you." I whispered to him.

"Love you, too." He replied. Moving toward the door he said my name, making me turn to him. "I don't want you to disappear."

"I won't." I told him. "I promise you that I won't."

"Good." He said and rolled over.

Pressing a kiss against his hair, I finally left, closing the door behind me. Taking a deep breath, I finally went to the bedroom door, slipping inside of it. Changing into something more comfortable, I crawled into bed. Lying on my back, I looked over and all I could see was Rick's as he lay on his side. Rolling over, I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not, but I tentatively reached my hand out, trailing my fingers across his skin. Hearing him sigh, I knew that he was awake but he apparently didn't want to look at me. Moving against his back, I pressed my lips between his shoulder blades.

"I'm sorry." I told him. "Rick, I'm sorry."

He rolled over, putting his arm around me, his fingers trailing up and down my back as he met my eyes. "Don't be sorry."

"But I am." I told him, putting my hand against his face. "This is all very unexpected."

"I know." He nodded, pulling me against his chest.

"Rick." I frowned, running my fingers through his hair.

"Linny." He smiled.

Smiling, I shook my head before kissing him, running my fingers down his face, my thumb finding the dimple in his chin. He pulled me tighter against him, wrapping his arms around me before rolling on top of me. Grinning, I encircled his shoulders with my arms, bending my knee at his side, running my other foot against his leg.

"Hey, it was just getting to the good part." I told him when he stopped, leaning away from me.

He grinned and kissed me again, "I'm not going to have sex with you."

"Rick." I frowned at him.

He just smiled and started to kiss me again, "I'll kiss you all you want, but that's it."

"You're mean." I told him but kept my lips against his.

After a little while, he rested partially on top of me, his face pressed against the side of mine. I could feel his breath against my neck and shoulder, the warmth of him comforting. Trailing my fingers up and down his arm that was draped across me, I stared at the ceiling. I was content in this moment. He wasn't mad at me and yet I knew that he was hurting. But right now I was with him and in this moment I felt like it was going to be where I stayed.

When I woke up, I was alone, making me sigh and roll over, hugging Rick's pillow to my chest. Shutting my eyes, I had every intention of dozing, when there was the sound of steps, I shot up, looking to see Ben standing in the doorway. Sighing, I brought my knees up, wrapping my arms around them.

"Hey." I said softly. He just looked at me. I sighed at him. "Come and sit." I told him.

He did, sitting nearly as close to me as he could get, "Hi, Linny."

"Ben." I smiled at him.

"I see you stayed with him last night."

"I've been living with him for months. The sharing of the bedroom is new." I told him.

"How new?" He asked.

"Over a month." I stated.

He nodded, "So you two are together?"

"Yes." I replied honestly.

He nodded again. "So what does that mean for me?"

I frowned at him, "I don't know." He nodded yet again. "Stop nodding at me like that." I told him annoyed. He looked hurt. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I'm sorry for just showing up like this. But I didn't know you were here until I got here."

"Good to know." I told him. "I'm kind of glad about that actually."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you didn't have time to raise your expectations." I smirked at him.

He reached his hand up, gently putting it against my face, "I never thought I'd see you again."

Tears filled my eyes, making me straddle his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Me neither."

He held me tightly, breathing me in. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." I told him, doing the same.

He smelled the same. I loved that smell. Letting him go, I got off of him, sitting next to him instead.

"I still love you." He told me.

"I still love you." I replied, running my fingers through his hair. "Ben, I am so happy that you're here. I really truly am. You're alive and that means the world to me, but…"

"But?" He asked sadly.

"I'm not the same woman you knew before the fire. Things have happened and I'm not the same as I was."

"You've found a lot more people." He stated.

"And you can stay here with us." I replied quickly.

"Us." He said and nodded. "So, I take it you're no longer mine."

"It's too soon to tell but I can't drop everything just because you're here." I told him honestly. I didn't want to lie to him.

He laughed and stood, starting to pace in front of me. "I've been through hell. I finally found you and you're so engrained with another group that you don't even care."

"I do care." I shot at him. "But do you want me to ask what happened to them? Do you want to tell me how the dead killed Hannah and Mozzie? Do you want to relive it?"

"Stop it." He shot at me.

"What do you want from me, Ben?" I asked him.

"I want you with me." He replied. "Like we used to be."

Shaking my head, I looked at him sadly, "Nothing is like it was before."

"Caroline?" Rick's voice said from the door.

Running my fingers through my hair, I moved around Ben, stepping toward him. "Hey."

"You okay?" He asked, looking at Ben.

"Yeah." I told him, crossing my arms.

Ben looked at us before he smiled, scoffing before he left the room. Watching him go, as soon as he was gone, I couldn't help but feel a little relieved. We needed to have a more in-depth talk about everything, but now wasn't the time. Things were just too weird right now. The realization that he was alive. Knowing what we both had lost. Having moved on without him. This sucked, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the family I had grown to love. I couldn't do it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Rick asked.

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck, gently playing with his hair, "I will be." His grip tightened and I could sense the protectiveness. Also the jealousy. "It's okay."

"Is it?" He asked.

Running both my hands through his hair, I kissed him, "It is."

"Does this mean I won't lose the girl?" He asked.

"Not today." I smiled and kissed him again.

He kissed me back but he was frowning, "That's not very reassuring."

Brushing my nose with his, I ran my hands up and down his chest, "I know. But promise me something."

"Depends."

"Don't fight with him until I have a chance to work things through with him."

He sighed but nodded, "I promise."

"Thank you." I told him and kissed him again. Then there was the sound of Judith crying. Sighing, I looked toward the bedroom. "She slept in again."

"I'll get her." He said and moved away but I kept his hand.

"I'll get her." I smiled at him, kissing him once more. "You're going to be late if you don't get a move on it."

"That's okay."

"Have you had breakfast yet?" I asked him as I walked to the adjacent room. "Morning, sweet pea." I smiled at Judith, picking her up.

"No. But I'm fine."

"Rick." I frowned. "We have the resources to actually eat here. Please do not skip meals. You need the energy."

"And you could use the weight." He told me with a raised brow.

"And I'm working on that. We all are. We can sustain ourselves here. So please don't –"

"Skip meals." Rick finished for me.

Smiling, I leaned in and kissed him again. He tasted like coffee and toothpaste. Not the best mixture but I didn't mind. He took Judith from me only to have her start to fuss, reaching out for me again. Taking her, I placed her on my hip, starting to move downstairs.

"For how much she loves you, you might as well be her mother." Rick told me with that air of annoyance.

"She loves you more, she just doesn't realize it all the time."

"No, she loves you. Maybe if I grew some breasts and started lactating."

Laughing loudly, I eyed him with disbelief, "Seriously, babe?"

He just grinned and kissed me, practically squishing Judith as he pulled me against him, his lips moving with mine.

"We should have stayed in bed." I told him softly, my words muffled against his mouth.

"Later." He replied before we realized all the eyes that were on us. "Ben." He said when he saw him standing there. "For some reason I thought you left."

"Be nice." I told him.

"I can see why she likes you. You can make her the mom she's always wanted to be." Ben retorted.

"That has nothing to do with it." I stated as I passed the baby off to her brother. "Morning." I told Carl, pressing a kiss against his hair.

"Linny." Daryl said as he pressed a kiss against my cheek.

Then Michonne was next to me, "You okay?"

"Everyone just loves you." Ben went on.

"And everyone doesn't know you." I shot at him. "Stop being an ass."

"I'm not."

"You are. And you're not an ass so trying to be one isn't doing you any favors."

"Because you know me so well."

"Ben." I told him shortly. "Enough."

"I came here for sanctuary and I find the love of my life that has moved on to some redneck –"

"Hey!" I yelled, making everyone jump. "That is more than enough!" Judith started to cry and I swiftly lowered my voice. "You do not get to come here and judge me for the people I'm with. You were dead, Ben. I swore I saw your body. I was wrong and I'm sorry about that. But these people are better than anyone I've ever come across."

"Better than me?" He asked angrily.

"In this moment, yes. You're acting like a spoiled child." I told him, getting a glare from him. "You're better than this, Ben. You're not acting like the man I knew."

"And it's obvious that you're no longer the woman I loved."

"You're right, I'm not, and I told you that."

"So that automatically means you stay with this prick."

"I said enough!" I yelled. "Carl, take your sister for a walk."

"But, Mom." He said looking up at me.

Looking at him, I smiled, "An adult conversation is about to ensue and if something should happen I'd like the two of you to be far away from it." He just looked at me. "Please, sweetie."

"Okay." He said and left.

I waited until I heard the door close before I spoke again. "You do not get to come here and disrespect my family in my own home. What we had was a dream that is long past. Seeing you means the world to me. But we clearly aren't the same people and it is impossible to go back to the way things used to be. We've lost too much and there is so much more we can lose."

"You maybe, but I've already lost everything." He retorted. "I watched my daughter get torn apart by walkers. I had to hear her scream as I tried to save her, only to hold a mutilated arm in my hand. I had to listen to Mozzie scream as the walkers ate into his stomach, his blood and guts spilling out onto the ground."

"Stop it." I told him as nausea filled me.

"I had to bury the pieces when I finally managed to kill them all. But I couldn't find them all so I simply buried the piles of blood."

"Stop."

"I prayed for death but every time I came face to face with it I kept going, knowing that I had to find you." Then he was pulling something out of his pocket. "I wanted to give you this." He threw it onto the counter and I took in Mozzie's collar, stained with blood. "I was going to sugarcoat their deaths but since you're so well off here and so seasoned of the way the world is then I'll just lay it all out for you. I suppose I could have brought you the few teeth that I found. The spare bones from both Hannah and Mozzie."

"Stop it, please."

"That's enough!" Rick yelled at him.

"Bring you scraps of fur. The pieces of bloody fabric that used to belong to my daughter!"

"She said stop!" Daryl yelled before punching him across the cheekbone, sending him to the floor.

Rushing to the sick, I threw up into it, shaking horribly as my mind painted the picture of my family's death.

"That's what I've been facing." Ben told me from the ground, picking himself back up. "I've been walking around, carrying that weight, praying to god that I find you. Now I have and you've forgotten all about us."

"I already thought you dead!" I yelled at him, getting in his face. "I'm sorry I did but it's true and yes, I moved on, but that doesn't mean I forgot. I think about you and Hannah and Mozzie every single day. You're alive and that is amazing and I am so relieved, but after everything how can you be so fucking cold and cruel? Do you want to hurt me so badly because I didn't wait for you? Because I didn't wait for a dead man to find me?"

He just looked at me before storming out. Standing there, everyone was quiet. I was sure they didn't know what to say since I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think or how to even react to this. I used to imagine that he was still alive and that we'd have this epic reunion and life would be good. But this was nothing like I had imagined. This was ten times worse than anything I had imagined. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. We weren't supposed to end up like this. Cold and detached and suffering. I didn't know what to do.

"Linny." Rick said softly, pulling me into his arms.

Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged him as tightly as I could, burying my face in his neck. He pulled me away from him, running his fingers through my hair before taking my head in his hands. Smiling, I put my hand against his face, running my thumb across his lips. He leaned in and kissed me. Melting against his chest, I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around him as I deepened it. Michonne had been right. The life I had with Ben was over. What I wanted had changed and he was no longer the perfect man that I had made him out to be in my mind. We were different people and we weren't meant to be together anymore. I loved the man in my arms right now. We had brought each other back from our grief. He'd saved me and I couldn't turn from him. Not for anything. Or anyone.


End file.
